twilight saga redone for lgbt
by bellaedythforever
Summary: A rewrite of Stephanie Meyer’s Twilight combining the original text, the gender-flipped Life & Death Twilight Reimagined, and some rewriting to create a version of Twilight about Bella Swan and Edyth Cullen. That's right. lesbian Twilight.
1. first sight bella pov

Preface

I'd never given much thought to how I would die — though I'd had reason enough in the last few months — but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

I stared without breathing across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.

Surely it was a good way to die, in the place of someone else, someone I loved. Noble, even. That ought to count for something.

I knew that if I'd never gone to Forks, I wouldn't be facing death now. But, terrified as I was, I couldn't bring myself to regret the decision. When life offers you a dream so far beyond any of your expectations, it's not reasonable to grieve when it comes to an end.

The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.

1\. First Sight

My mother drove me to the airport with the windows rolled down. Though it was January everywhere else, it was seventy-five degrees in Phoenix and the sky was a perfect, cloudless blue. I was wearing my favorite tank top; I was wearing it as a farewell gesture. I wouldn't be needing tank tops anymore.

In the Olympic Peninsula of northwest Washington State, a small town named Forks exists under a near-constant cover of clouds. It rains on this insignificant town more than any other place in the United States of America. It was from this town and its depressing gloom that my mom escaped with me when I was only a few months old. It was in this town that I'd been forced to spend a month every summer until I was fourteen. That was the year I finally put my foot down; these past three summers, my dad, Charlie, vacationed with me in California for two weeks instead.

Yet, somehow, I now found myself exiled back to Forks for the rest of my high school education. A year and a half. Eighteen months. Of course, this was my choice. It was a self-imposed exile, but that didn't make it any easier.

I loved Phoenix. I loved the sun and the blistering heat. I loved the vigorous, sprawling city.

"Bella," my mom said to me—the last of a thousand times—before I boarded the plane. "You don't have to do this."

My mother and I look so much alike; the same shaped face, the same nose, the same pale gray eyes. No one would doubt we're mother and son. I felt an empty feeling in the pit of my stomach as I stared at her wide, childlike eyes that were so like mine. How could I leave my loving, erratic, harebrained mother to fend for herself? Was leaving my mom the right thing to do? It seemed like it was, during the months I'd struggled toward this decision. But now, in this moment, it felt all kinds of wrong.

Of course she had Phil now, so the bills would probably get paid, there would be food in the refrigerator, gas in her car, and someone to call when she got lost, but still…

"Iwantto go," I lied. I'd always been a bad liar, but I'd been saying this lie so frequently lately that it sounded almost convincing now.

"Tell Charlie I said hi."

"I will."

"I'll see you soon," she insisted. "You can come home whenever you want—I'll come right back as soon as you need me."

But I could see the sacrifice in her eyes behind the promise.

"Don't worry about me," I urged. "It'll be great. I love you, Mom."

She hugged me tightly for a minute, and then I walked through the gate, got on the plane, and she was gone.

It's a three-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a smaller plane up to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks. Flying doesn't bother me; the hour in the car with Charlie, though, I was a little worried about.

Charlie had really been pretty decent about the whole thing. He seemed genuinely pleased that I was coming to live with him for the first time with any degree of permanence. He'd already gotten me registered for high school and was going to help me get a car.

But it would be awkward. Neither of us was what anyone would call outgoing, and I didn't know what there was to say regardless. I knew he was more than a little confused by my decision— like my mother before me, I hadn't made a secret of my disdain for Forks.

When I landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I didn't see it as an omen, just an inevitability. I'd already said my goodbyes to the sun.

Charlie was waiting for me with the cruiser. This I was also expecting. Charlie is Police Chief Swan to the good people of Forks. My primary motivation behind buying a car, despite the scarcity of funds, was that I refused to be driven around town in a car with red and blue lights on the top. Nothing slows down traffic like a cop.

I stumbled off the plane into Charlie's awkward, one-armed hug.

"It's good to see you, Bells," he said, smiling as he automatically caught and steadied me. "You haven't changed much. How's Renée?

"Mom's great. It's good to see you, too, Dad." I wasn't supposed to call him Charlie to his face.

I only had a few bags. Most of my Arizona clothes were too permeable for Washington. My mom and I had pooled our resources to supplement my winter wardrobe, but it was still scanty. It all fit easily into the trunk of the cruiser.

"I found a good car for you, really cheap." he announced when we were strapped into the cruiser and on our way.

"What kind of car?" I asked, suspicious of the way he said "good carfor you" as opposed to just "good car."

"Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy."

"Where did you find it?"

"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?" La Push is the small Native American reservation on the nearby coastline.

"Not really, sorry."

"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Charlie prompted.

That would explain why I didn't remember him. I do a good job of blocking painful things from my memory.

"He's in a wheelchair now," Charlie continued when I didn't respond, "so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me the truck cheap."

"What year is it?" I could see from the change in his expression that this was the question he was hoping I wouldn't ask.

"Well, Billy's daughter has done a lot of work on the engine— it's only a few years old, really."

Did he really think I would give up that easily?

"When did he buy it?"

"He bought it in 1984, I think."

"Did he buy it new?"

"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties— or late fifties at the earliest," He admitted sheepishly.

"Ch— Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic..."

"Really, Bella, the thing runs great. They don't build them like that anymore."

The thing,I thought to myself…it had possibilities—as a nickname, at the very least.

"How cheap is cheap?" After all, that was the part I couldn't compromise on.

"Well, sweetheart, I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift." Charlie glanced sideways at me with a hopeful expression.

Wow. Free.

"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car."

"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at the road when he said this. Charlie had never been comfortable with expressing his emotions out loud. I inherited that from him. So I was looking straight ahead as I responded.

"That's amazing, Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it." No need to add that my being happy in Forks is an impossibility. He didn't need to suffer along with me. And I never looked a free truck in the mouth—or engine.

"Well, now, you're welcome," he mumbled, embarrassed by my thanks.

We exchanged a few more comments on the weather, which was wet, and that was pretty much it for conversation. We stared out the windows.

It was beautiful, of course; I couldn't deny that. Everything was green: the trees, their trunks covered with moss, their branches hanging with a canopy of it, the ground covered with ferns. Even the air filtered down greenly through the leaves.

It was too green—an alien planet.

Eventually, we made it to Charlie's. He still lived in the small, two bedroom house that he'd bought with my mother in the early days of their marriage. Those were the only kind of days their marriage had—the early ones. There, parked on the street in front of the house that never changed, was my new—well, new to me—truck. It was a faded red color, with big, rounded fenders and a bulbous cab.

And, to my surprise, I loved it. I had always seen myself in something small and sporty. I didn't know if it would run, but I could see myself in it. Plus, it was one of those solid iron affairs that never gets damaged—the kind you see at the scene of an accident, paint unscratched, surrounded by the pieces of the foreign car it had destroyed.

"Wow, Dad, I love it! Thanks!" I was genuinely enthused about the truck. Not only was it perfect, now I wouldn't be faced with the choice of either walking two miles in the rain to school or accepting a ride in the Chief's cruiser.

"I'm glad you like it," Charlie said gruffly, embarrassed again.

It took only one trip to get all my stuff upstairs. I got the west bedroom that faced out over the front yard. The room was familiar; it had belonged to me since I was born. The wooden floor, the light blue walls, the peaked ceiling, the blue checkered curtains around the window—these were all a part of my childhood. The only changes Charlie had ever made were switching the crib for a bed and adding a desk as I grew. The desk now held a secondhand computer, with the phone line for the modem stapled along the floor to the nearest phone jack. This was a stipulation from my mother, so that we could stay in touch easily. The rocking chair from my baby days was still in the corner.

There was only one small bathroom at the top of the stairs, which I would have to share with Charlie, but I'd had to share with my mom before, and she had a lot more stuff. This would be fine.

One of the best things about Charlie is he doesn't hover. He left me alone to unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogether impossible for my mother. It was nice to be alone, not to have to smile and look pleased; a relief to stare dejectedly out the window at the sheeting rain and let just a few tears escape. I wasn't in the mood to go on a real crying jag. I would save that for bedtime, when I would have to come to terms with how quickly everything had just changed, and when I would have to think about the coming morning.

Forks High School had just three hundred and fifty-seven—now fifty eight—students; there were more than seven hundred people in my junior class alone back home. All of the kids there had grown up together—their grandparents had been toddlers together. I would be the new girl from the big city, something to stare at and whisper about.

Maybe, if I had been one of the cool kids—had a little more confidence in myself—I could work this to my advantage. But I certainly wasn'tthatgirl. I was always different from the other girls in my school. I wasn't the cheerleading star, not the class president, not the prep girl . I was the kid who got shoved into lockers until her sophomore year. The kid who was too quiet, and too pale.

Despite the constant sunshine of Phoenix, I was still ivory-skinned and I had always been on the leaner side, obviously not an athlete; I didn't have the necessary hand-eye coordination to play sports without humiliating myself—and harming both myself and anyone else who stood too close.

When I finished putting my clothes in the old pine dresser, I took my bag of bathroom necessities and went to clean myself up after the day of travel. I looked at my face in the bathroom mirror as I ran my hands through my damp, dark hair. Maybe it was the light, but already I looked paler, if that was possible.

Facing my glum reflection in the mirror, I was forced to admit that I was lying to myself. It wasn't just physically that I'd never fit in. And if I couldn't find a niche in a school with three thousand people, what were my chances here?

I didn't relate well to people my age. Maybe the truth was that I didn't relate well to people, period. Even my mother, who I was closer to than anyone else on the planet, was never in harmony with me, never on exactly the same page. Sometimes I wondered if I was seeing the same things through my eyes that the rest of the world was seeing through theirs. Maybe there was a glitch in my brain.

But the cause didn't matter. All that mattered was the effect. And tomorrow would be just the beginning.

I didn't sleep well that night, even after I had managed to calm myself down. The constantwhooshing of the rain and the wind across the roof wouldn't fade in the background. I pulled the faded old quilt over my head, and later added the pillow, too. But I couldn't fall asleep until after midnight, when the rain finally settled into a quieter drizzle.

Thick fog was all I could see out my window in the morning, and I could feel the claustrophobia creeping up on me. You could never see the sky here; it was like a cage.

Breakfast with Charlie was a quiet event. He wished me good luck at school. I thanked him, knowing his hope was wasted. Good luck tended to avoid me. Charlie left first, off to the police station that was his wife and family. After he left, I sat at the old square oak table in one of the three un-matching chairs and examined the small kitchen, with its dark paneled walls, bright yellow cabinets, and white linoleum floor. Nothing was changed. My mother had painted the cabinets eighteen years ago in an attempt to bring some sunshine into the house. Over the small fireplace in the adjoining modestly sized family room was a row of pictures. First a wedding picture of Charlie and my mom in Las Vegas, then one of the three of us in the hospital after I was born, taken by a helpful nurse, followed by the procession of my school pictures up to last year's. Those were embarrassing to look at—maybe I could get Charlie to put them somewhere else, at least while I was living here.

It was impossible, being in this house, not to realize that Charlie had never gotten over my mom. It made me uncomfortable and a little sad.

I didn't want to be too early to school, but I couldn't stay in the house anymore. I donned my jacket—thick, non-breathing plastic, like a biohazard suit—and headed out into the rain.

It was just drizzling still, not enough to soak me through immediately as I reached for the house key that was always hidden under the eaves by the door, and locked up. The sloshing of my new waterproof boots was unnerving. I missed the normal crunch of gravel as I walked. I couldn't pause and admire my truck again as I wanted; I was in a hurry to get out of the misty wet that swirled around in the air.

Inside the truck, it was nice and dry. Either Billy or Charlie had obviously cleaned it up, but the tan upholstered seats still smelled faintly of tobacco, gasoline, and peppermint. The engine started quickly, to my relief, but loudly, roaring to life and then idling at top volume. Well, a truck this old was bound to have a flaw. The antique radio worked, a bonus that I hadn't expected.

Finding the school wasn't difficult; like most other things, it was just off the highway. It wasn't totally obvious that it was a school; only the sign, which declared it to be Forks High School, clued me in. It looked like a collection of matching houses, built with maroon-colored bricks. There were so many trees and shrubs I couldn't see its size at first. Where was the feel of the institution? I wondered sarcastically. Where were the chain-link fences, the metal detectors?

I parked in front of the first building, which had a small sign over the door reading FRONT OFFICE. N0 one else was parked there, so I was sure it was off limits, but I decided I would get directions inside instead of circling around in the rain like an idiot. I stepped unwillingly out of the toasty truck cab and walked down a little stone path lined with dark hedges. I took a deep breath before opening the door.

Inside, it was brightly lit, and warmer than I'd hoped. The office was small; a little waiting area with padded folding chairs, orange-flecked commercial carpet, notices and awards cluttering the walls, a big clock ticking loudly. Plants grew everywhere in large plastic pots, as if there wasn't enough greenery outside. The room was cut in half by a long counter, cluttered with wire baskets full of papers and brightly colored flyers taped to its front. There were three desks behind the counter, one of which was manned by a large, red-haired woman wearing glasses. She was wearing a purple t-shirt, which immediately made me feel overdressed.

The red-haired woman looked up.

"Can I help you?"

"I'm Bella Swan," I informed her, and saw the immediate awareness light her eyes. I was expected, a topic of gossip no doubt. daughter of the Chief's flighty ex-wife, come home at last.

"Of course," she said. She dug through a precariously stacked pile of papers on her desk till she found the ones she was looking for. "I have your schedule right here, Isabella, and a map of the school." She brought several sheets to the counter to show me.

"Um, it's Bella, please."

"Oh, sure, Bella."

She went through my classes for me, highlighting the best route to each on the map, and gave me a slip to have each teacher sign, which I was to bring back at the end of the day. She smiled at me and hoped, like Charlie, that I would like it here in Forks. I smiled back as convincingly as I could.

When I went back out to my truck, other students were starting to arrive. I drove around the school, following the line of traffic. I was glad to see that most of the cars were older like mine, nothing flashy. At home I'd lived in one of the few lower-income neighborhoods that were included in the Paradise Valley District. It was a common thing to see a new Mercedes or Porsche in the student lot. The nicest car here was a shiny Volvo, and it stood out. Still, I cut the engine as soon as I was in a spot, so that the thunderous volume wouldn't draw attention to me.

I looked at the map in the truck, trying to memorize it now; hopefully I wouldn't have to walk around with it stuck in front of my nose all day. I stuffed everything in my bag, slung the strap over my shoulder, and sucked in a huge breath.It won't be that bad, I lied to myself feebly. This wasn't life or death—just high school. It's not like anyone was going to bite me.

I finally exhaled and stepped out of the truck.I kept my face pulled back into my hood as I walked to the sidewalk, crowded with other students. My plain black jacket didn't stand out, I noticed with relief.

Once I got around the cafeteria, building three was easy to spot. A large black "3" was painted on a white square on the east corner. I felt a knot begin to form in my stomach as I approached the door. I took a deep breath as I followed two unisex raincoats through the door.

The classroom was small. The people in front of me stopped just inside the door to hang up their coats on a long row of hooks. I copied them. They were two girls, one a porcelain-colored blonde, the other also pale, with light brown hair. At least my skin wouldn't be a standout here.

I took the slip up to the teacher, a tall, balding man whose desk had a nameplate identifying him as Mr. Mason. He gawked at me when he saw my name—not an encouraging response—and of course I flushed tomato red. But at least he sent me to an empty desk at the back without introducing me to the class. It was harder for my new classmates to stare at me in the back, but somehow, they managed.

I kept my eyes down on the reading list the teacher had given me. It was fairly basic: Brontë, Shakespeare, Chaucer, Faulkner. I'd already read everything. That was comforting… and boring. I wondered if my mom would send me my folder of old essays, or if she would think that was cheating. I went through different arguments with her in my head while the teacher droned on.

When the bell rang, a nasal buzzing sound, a pale, skinny boy with skin problems and hair black as an oil slick leaned across the aisle to talk to me.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?" He gave off the vibe of the overly helpful, chess club type.

"Bella," I corrected. Everyone within a three-seat radius turned to look at me.

"Where's your next class?" he asked.

I had to check in my bag. "Um, Government, with Jefferson, in building six."

There was nowhere to look without meeting curious eyes.

"I'm headed toward building four, I could show you the way.…" Definitely over-helpful. "I'm Eric," he added.

I managed a smile. "Thanks."

We got our jackets and headed out into the rain, which had picked up. I could have sworn several people behind us were walking close enough to eavesdrop. I hoped I wasn't getting paranoid.

"So, this is a lot different than Phoenix, huh?" he asked.

"Very."

"It doesn't rain much there, does it?"

"Three or four times a year."

"Wow, what must that be like?" he wondered.

"Sunny," I told him.

"You don't look very tan."

"My mother is part albino."

He studied my face apprehensively, and I sighed. It looked like clouds and a sense of humor didn't mix. A few months of this and I'd forget how to use sarcasm.

We walked back around the cafeteria, to the south buildings by the gym. Eric followed me right to the door, though it was clearly marked.

"Well, good luck," he said as I touched the handle. "Maybe we'll have some other classes together." He sounded hopeful.

I smiled at him vaguely and went inside.

The rest of the morning passed in about the same fashion. My Trigonometry teacher, Mr. Varner, who I would have disliked anyway just because of the subject he taught, was the only one who made me stand in front of the class and introduce myself. I stammered, blushed, and tripped over my own boots on the way to my seat.

After two classes, I started to recognize several of the faces in each room. There was always someone braver than the others who would introduce themselves and ask me questions about how I was liking Forks. I tried to be diplomatic, but mostly I just lied a lot. At least I never needed the map.

In every class, the teacher started out calling me Isabella, and though I corrected them immediately, it was frustrating. It had taken me years to live down Isabella—my mom thought it sounded cute. I comforted myself with the knowledge that she chose Isabella over Annalise, her second choice. No one at home even remembered that Bella was just a nickname anymore. Now I had to start all over again.

One boy sat next to me in both Trig and Spanish, and he walked with me to the cafeteria for lunch. He was tall, several inches higher than my five feet four inches, with short, straight, light-brown hair. His carefree, energetic personality almost seemed to make up the difference between our heights. I couldn't remember his name, so I smiled and nodded as he rattled about teachers and classes. I didn't try to keep up.

We sat at the end of a full table with several of his friends, who he introduced to me—couldn't complain about the manners here. Overwhelmed by the rush of new information, I forgot all their names as soon as he said them. They seemed impressed by his bravery in speaking to me. The boy from English, Eric, waved at me from across the room.

It was there, sitting in the lunchroom, trying to make conversation with seven curious strangers, that I first saw them.

They were sitting in the corner of the cafeteria, as far away from where I sat as possible in the long room. There were five of them. They weren't talking, and they weren't eating, though they each had a tray of untouched food in front of them. They weren't gawking at me, unlike most of the other students, so it was safe to stare at them without fear of meeting an excessively interested pair of eyes. But it was none of these things that caught, and held, my attention.

They didn't look anything alike.

There were three boys; one was big— muscled like a serious weight lifter, at least six-five or taller, with dark, curly hair. The one sitting next to him was only slightly shorter, but still well-muscled—clearly the school's star-athlete. And the prom king. His long gold hair was wound into a bun on the back of his head. The last one was as tall as the prom king guy, leaner, but still muscular, with honey colored hair. There was something intense about him, edgy. The others were girls one was lanky, less bulky, with untidy, bronze-colored hair. She was more boyish than the others, who looked like they could be in college, or even teachers here rather than students.

The other girl was the complete opposite. She was short and pixie-like, thin in the extreme, with small features. Her hair was a deep black, cropped short and styled like she had fallen right out of the twenties.

Totally different, and yet, they were all exactly alike. Every one of them was chalky pale, the palest of all the students living in this sunless town. Paler than me, the albino. They all had very dark eyes—from here they looked black—despite the range in hair tones. There were deep shadows under those eyes— purplish, like bruises. As if they were all suffering from a sleepless night, or almost done recovering from a broken nose. Though their noses, all their features, were straight, perfect, angular.

But all this is not why I couldn't look away.

I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful. They were faces you never expected to see except perhaps on the airbrushed pages of a fashion magazine. Or painted by an old master as the face of an angel. It was hard to decide who was the most beautiful— maybe the blond prom king, or the bronze-haired girl. I mean, all of them were gorgeous, but the girl with the bronze hair was something more than just beautiful. She was absolutely perfect. It was an upsetting, disturbing kind of perfection. It made my stomach uneasy.

They were all looking away; away from each other, away from the other students, away from anything in particular as far as I could tell. It reminded me of models posed artistically for an add—aesthetic ennui.

As I watched, the pixie girl rose with her tray— unopened soda, unbitten apple— and walked away with a quick, graceful lope that belonged on a runway. I watched, amazed at her lithe dancer's step, till she dumped her tray and glided through the back door, faster than I would have thought possible. My eyes darted back to the boys, who sat unchanging.

"Who arethey?" I asked the boy from my Spanish class, whose name I'd couldn't remember.

As he looked up to see who I meant— though already knowing, probably, from my tone— suddenly she looked at him, the thinner one, the tomboyish one, the youngest, perhaps. She looked at my neighbor for just a fraction of a second, and then her dark eyes flickered to mine.

She looked away quickly, more quickly than I could, though in a flush of embarrassment I dropped my eyes at once. In that brief flash of a glance, her face wasn't interested at all— it was as if he had called her name, and she'd looked up in an involuntary response, already having decided not to answer.

My neighbor snickered in embarrassment, looking at the table like I did.

"That's Edyth and Emmett Cullen, and Royal and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." He said this under his breath.

I glanced sideways at the beautiful girl, who was looking at her tray now, picking a bagel to pieces with long, pale soft fingers. Her mouth was moving very quickly, her perfect lips barely opening. The other three still looked away, and yet I felt she was speaking quietly to them.

Strange, unpopular names, I thought. The kinds of names grandparents had. But maybe that was in vogue here— small-town names? I finally remembered that my neighbor was called Jeremy, a perfectly common name. There were two boys named Jeremy in my History class back home.

"They are… very nice-looking." I struggled with the conspicuous understatement.

"Yes!" Jeremy agreed with another snicker. "They're all together though— Jasper and Alice, I mean. There's even a rumor that Emmet and Royal are like, a thing. And they live together." His voice held all the shock and condemnation of the small town, I thought critically. But, if I was being honest, I had to admit that even in Phoenix, it would cause gossip.

"Which ones are the Cullens?" I asked. "They don't look related.…"

"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales are brothers, fraternal twins, I think— the blondes— and they're foster children."

"They look a little old for foster children."

"They are now, Jasper and Royal are both eighteen, but they've been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. She's their aunt or something like that."

"That's really kind of nice— for them to take care of all those kids like that, when they're so young and everything."

"I guess so," Jeremy admitted reluctantly, and I got the impression that he didn't like the doctor and his wife for some reason. With the glances he was throwing at their adopted children, I would presume the reason was jealousy. "I think that Mrs. Cullen can't have any kids, though," he added, as if that lessened their kindness.

Throughout all this conversation, my eyes flickered again and again to the table where the strange family sat. They continued to look at the walls and not eat.

"Have they always lived in Forks?" I asked. Surely I would have noticed them on one of my summers here.

"No," he said in a voice that implied it should be obvious, even to a new arrival like me. "They just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska."

I felt a surge of pity, and relief. Pity because, as beautiful as they were, they were outsiders, clearly not accepted. Relief that I wasn't the only newcomer here, and certainly not the most interesting by any standard. As I examined them, the youngest, one of the Cullens, looked up and met my gaze, this time with evident curiosity in her expression. As I looked swiftly away, it seemed to me that her glance held some kind of unmet expectation.

"Which one is the girl with the reddish brown hair?" I asked. I glanced at her from the corner of my eye, and she was still staring at me, but not gawking like the other students had today— she had a slightly frustrated expression. I looked down again.

"That's Edyth. She's gorgeous, of course, but a complete waste of time. She doesn't date. Apparently no one here is good-looking enough for her." He sniffed, a clear case of sour grapes. I wondered when she'd turned him down.

I bit my lip to hide my smile. Then I glanced at her again. Her face was turned away, but I thought her cheek appeared lifted, as if she were smiling, too.

After a few more minutes, the four of them left the table together. They all were noticeably graceful— even the big, brawny one and the golden prom king. It was unsettling to watch. The one named Edyth didn't look at me again.

I sat at the table with Jeremy and his friends longer than I would have if I'd been sitting alone. I was anxious not to be late for class on my first day. One of my new acquaintances, who considerately reminded me that his name was Allen, had Biology II with me the next hour. We walked to class together in silence. He was shy, too.

When we entered the classroom, Allen went to sit at a black-topped lab table exactly like the ones I was used to. He already had a neighbor. In fact, all the tables were filled but one. Next to the center aisle, I recognized Edyth Cullen by her unusual hair, sitting next to that single open seat.

As I walked down the aisle to introduce myself to the teacher and get my slip signed, I was watching her surreptitiously. Just as I passed, she suddenly went rigid in her seat. She stared at me again, meeting my eyes with the strangest expression on her face— it was hostile, furious. I looked away quickly, shocked, going red again. I stumbled over a book in the walkway and had to catch myself on the edge of a table. The girl sitting there giggled.

I had been right about her eyes. They were black— coal black. Mrs. Banner signed my slip and handed me a book with no nonsense about introductions. I could tell we were going to get along. Of course, she had no choice but to send me to the one open seat in the middle of the room. I kept my eyes down as I went to sit by her, bewildered by the antagonistic stare she'd given me.

I didn't look up as I set my book on the table and took my seat, but I saw her posture change from the corner of my eye. She was leaning away from me, sitting on the extreme edge of her chair and averting her face like she smelled something bad. Inconspicuously, I tugged at my shirt at gave it a sniff. It smelled like laundry detergent. How could that be offensive? I scooted my chair to the right, giving her as much space as I could, and nervously ran my fingers through my hair.

I leaned forward, resting my head in my hand, using it to block my face from her. I angled myself away, too, for good measure. I tried to pay attention to the teacher.

Unfortunately the lecture was on cellular anatomy, something I'd already studied. I took notes carefully anyway, always looking down.

I couldn't stop myself from glancing occasionally at the strange girl next to me. During the whole class, she never relaxed her stiff position on the edge of her chair, sitting as far from me as possible. I could see her hand on her left leg was clenched into a fist, tendons standing out under her pale skin. This, too, she never relaxed. She had the long sleeves of her white shirt pushed up to her elbows, and her forearm was surprisingly hard and muscular beneath her pale skin. She wasn't nearly as slight as she'd looked next to her burly brothers. But not as feminine as her pixie sister either. She was more tomboyish.

The class seemed to drag on longer than the others. Was it because the day was finally coming to a close, or because I was waiting for her tight fist to loosen? It never did; she continued to sit so still it looked like she wasn't breathing. What was wrong with her? Was this her normal behavior? I questioned my judgment on Jeremy's bitterness at lunch today. Maybe he was not as resentful as I'd thought.

It couldn't have anything to do with me. She didn't know me from Eve.

I peeked up at her one more time, and regretted it. She was glaring down at me again, her black eyes full of revulsion. As I flinched away from her, shrinking against my chair, the phraseif looks could killsuddenly ran through my mind.

At that moment, the bell rang loudly, making me jump, and Edyth Cullen was out of her seat. Fluidly she rose— she was much taller than I'd thought— her back to me, and she was out the door before anyone else was out of their seat.

I sat frozen in my seat, staring blankly after her. She was so unnecessarily rude. I began gathering up my things slowly, trying to block the confusion and anger that filled me. I felt tight knots in my stomach. I hadn't done anything wrong. How could I have? I hadn't actually even met her.

"Aren't you Isabella Swan?" a female voice asked. I looked up to see a cute, baby-faced girl, her pale blond hair carefully flat-ironed, smiling at me in a friendly way. She obviously didn't think I smelled bad.

"Bella," I corrected her, with a smile.

"I'm Makayla."

"Hi, Makayla."

"Do you need any help finding your next class?"

"I'm headed to the gym, actually. I think I can find it."

"That's my next class, too." She seemed thrilled, though it wasn't that big of a coincidence in a school this small.

We walked to class together; she was a chatterer— she supplied most of the conversation, which made it easy for me. She'd lived in California till she was ten, so she knew how I felt about the sun. It turned out she was in my English class also. She was the nicest person I'd met today.

But as we were entering the gym, she asked, "So, did you stab Edyth Cullen with a pencil or what? I've never seen her act like that."

I cringed. So Iwasn'tthe only one who had noticed. And, apparently, that wasn't Edyth Cullen's usual behavior. I decided to play dumb.

"Was that the girl I sat next to in Biology?" I asked artlessly.

"Yeah," she said. "She looked like she was in pain or something."

"I don't know," I responded. "I never spoke to her."

"She's a weird girl." Makayla lingered by me instead of heading straight into the locker room. "If I were sitting by you, I would have talked to you." She started blushing, "You seem cool!" She added quickly.

I smiled at her and she quickly walked through the locker room door, I followed slightly bemused. She was friendly and possibly liked me. But it wasn't enough to ease my irritation.

The Gym teacher, Coach Clapp, found me a uniform but didn't make me dress down for today's class. At home, only two years of P.E. were required. Here, P.E. was mandatory all four years. Forks was literally my personal hell on Earth.

I watched four volleyball games running simultaneously. Remembering how many injuries I had sustained— and inflicted— playing volleyball, I felt faintly nauseated.

The final bell rang at last. I walked slowly to the office to return my paperwork. The rain had drifted away, but the wind was strong, and colder. I wrapped my arms around myself.

When I walked into the warm office, I almost turned around and walked back out.

Edyth Cullen stood at the desk in front of me. I recognized again that tousled bronze hair. She didn't appear to notice the sound of my entrance. I stood pressed against the back wall, waiting for the receptionist to be free.

She was arguing with her in a low, attractive voice. I quickly picked up the gist of the argument. She was trying to trade from sixth-hour Biology to another time— any other time. I just couldn't believe that this was about me. It had to be something else, something that happened before I entered the Biology room. The look on her face must have been about another aggravation entirely. It was impossible that this stranger could take such a sudden, intense dislike to me.

The door opened again, and the cold wind suddenly gusted through the room, rustling the papers on the desk, waving through my hair. The girl who came in merely stepped to the desk, placed a note in the wire basket, and walked out again. But Edyth Cullen's back stiffened, and she turned slowly to glare at me— her face was absurdly beautiful— with piercing, hate-filled eyes. For an instant, I felt a thrill of genuinefear, raising the hair on my arms. The look only lasted a second, but it chilled me more than the freezing wind. She turned back to the receptionist.

"Never mind, then," she said hastily in a voice like velvet. "I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." And she turned on her heel without another look at me, and disappeared out the door.

I went meekly to the desk, my face white for once instead of red, and handed her the signed slip.

"How did your first day go, dear?" the receptionist asked maternally.

"Fine," I lied, my voice cracking. I could see I hadn't convinced her.

When I got to the truck, it was almost the last car in the lot. It seemed like a haven, already the closest thing to home I had in this damp green hole. I sat inside for a while, just staring out the windshield blankly. But soon I was cold enough to need the heater, so I turned the key and the engine roared to life. I headed back to Charlie's house, grappling with the knots in my stomach till I was fighting tears


	2. first sight Edyth pov

After everything, it had come to this.

Love changes you. It reshapes you. It carefully and systematically cuts every tie and bind you may have known up to thatpoint in time and carefully restrings them to something new. One heart to another.

My heart had been ice for so long and this warmth was unlike anything I had known in a century of existence. Now, I would lose it. Lose my very reason for living.

The monster was rejoicing—celebrating his victory. I didn't know if I could stop him this time. Everything he wanted lay broken on the floor in a pool of blood. He screamed with desire, with an animal need.

Everything I had done to keep him at bay had been in vain. Now, I was faced with a choice; would I allow the monster to win? Or would I destroy him?

1\. First Sight

This was the time of day when I wished I were able to sleep.

High school.

Or was purgatory the right word? If therewasany way to atone for my sins, this ought to count toward the tally in some measure. The tedium was not something I grew used to; every day seemed more impossibly monotonous than the last.

I suppose thiswasmy form of sleep—if sleep was defined as the inert state between active periods.

I stared at the cracks running through the plaster in the far corner of the cafeteria, imagining patterns into them that were not there. It was one way to tune out the voices that babbled like the gush of a river inside my head.

Several hundred of these voices I ignored out of boredom.

When it came to the human mind, I'd heard it all before and then some. Today, all thoughts were consumed with the trivial drama of a new addition to the small student body here. It took so little to work them all up. I'd seen the new face repeated in thought after thought from every angle. Just an ordinary human girl. The excitement over her arrival was tiresomely predictable—like flashing a shiny object at a child. Half the males were already imagining themselves in love with her, just because she was something new to look at. I tried harder to tune them out.

Only four voices did I block out of courtesy rather than distaste; my family, my three brothers and one sister, who were so used to the lack of privacy in my presence that they rarely gave it a thought. I gave them what privacy I could. I tried not to listen if I could help it.

Try as I may, still… I knew.

Royal was thinking, as usual, about himself. He'd caught sight of his profile in the reflection of someone's glasses, and he was mulling over his own perfection. Royal's mind was a shallow pool with few surprises.

Emmett was fuming over a wrestling match he'd lost to Jasper during the night. It would take all his limited patience to make it to the end of the school day to orchestrate a rematch. I never really felt intrusive hearing Emmett's thoughts, because he never thought one thing that he would not say aloud or put into action. Perhaps I only felt guilty reading the others' minds because I knew there were things there that they wouldn't want me to know. If Royal's mind was a shallow pool, then Emmett's was a lake with no shadows, glass clear.

And Jasper was…suffering. I suppressed a sigh.

Edyth. Alice called my name in her head, and had my attention at once.

It was just the same as having my name called aloud. I was glad my given name had fallen out of style lately—it had been annoying; anytime anyone thought of any Edyth, my head would turn automatically…

My head didn't turn now. Alice and I were good at these private conversations. It was rare than anyone caught us. I kept my eyes on the lines in the plaster.

How is he holding up?She asked me.

I frowned, just a small change in the set of my mouth. Nothing that would tip the others off. I could easily be frowning out of boredom.

Alice's mental tone was alarmed now, and I saw in her mind that she was watching Jasper in her peripheral vision.

Is there any danger?She searched ahead, into the immediate future, skimming through visions of monotony for the source behind my frown.

I turned my head slowly to the left, as if looking at the bricks of the wall, sighed, and then to the right, back to the cracks in the ceiling. Only Alice knew I was shaking my head.

She relaxed.Let me know if it gets too bad.

I moved only my eyes, up to the ceiling above, and back down.

Thanks for doing this.

I was glad I couldn't answer her aloud. What would I say? 'My pleasure'? It was hardly that. I didn't enjoy listening to Jasper's struggles. Was it really necessary to experiment like this? Wouldn't the safer path be to just admit that he might never be able to handle the thirst the way the rest of us could, and not push his limits? Why flirt with disaster?

It had been two weeks since our last hunting trip. That was not an immensely difficult time span for the rest of us. A little uncomfortable occasionally—if a human walked too close, if the wind blew the wrong way. But humans rarely walked too close. Their instincts told them what their conscious minds would never understand; we were dangerous.

Jasper was very dangerous right now.

At that moment, a small girl paused at the end of the closest table to ours, stopping to talk to a friend. She tossed her short, sandy hair, running her fingers through it. The heaters blew her scent in our direction. I was used to the way that scent made me feel—the dry ache in my throat, the hollow yearn in my stomach, the automatic tightening of my muscles, the excess flow of venom in my mouth…

This was quite normal, usually easy to ignore. It was harder just now, with the feelings stronger, doubled, as I monitored Jasper's reaction. Twin thirsts, rather than just mine.

Jasper was letting his imagination get away from him. He was picturing it—picturing himself getting up from his seat next to Alice and going to stand beside the little girl. Thinking of leaning down and in, as if he were going to whisper in her ear, and letting his lips touch the arch of her throat. Imagining how the hot flow of her pulse beneath the fine skin would feel under his mouth…

I kicked his chair.

He met my gaze for a minute, and then looked down. I could hear shame and rebellion war in his head.

"Sorry," Jasper muttered.

I shrugged.

"You weren't going to do anything," Alice murmured to him, soothing his chagrin. "I could see that."

I fought back the grimace that would give her lie away. We had to stick together, Alice and me. It wasn't easy, hearing voices or seeing visions of the future. Both freaks among those who were already freaks. We protected each other's secrets.

"It helps a little if you think of them as people," Alice suggested, her high, musical voice too fast for human hears to understand, if any had been close enough to hear. "Her name is Whitney. She had a baby sister she adores. Her mother invited Esme to that garden party, do you remember?"

"I know who she is," Jasper said curtly. He turned away to stare out one of the small windows that were spaced just under the eaves around the long room. His tone ended the conversation.

He would have to hunt tonight. It was ridiculous to take risks like this, trying to test his strength, to build his endurance. Jasper should just accept his limitations and work within them. His former habits were not conducive to our chosen lifestyle; he shouldn't push himself this way.

Alice sighed silently and stood, taking her tray of food—her prop, as it were—with her and leaving him alone. She knew when he'd had enough of her encouragement. Though Royal and Emmett were more flagrant about their relationship, it was Alice and Jasper who knew each other's every mood as well as their own. As if they could read minds, too—only just each other's.

Edyth Cullen.

Reflex reaction. I turned to the sound of my name being called, though it wasn't being called, just thought.

My eyes locked for a small portion of a second with a pair of wide, silver-blue human eyes set in a pale, heart-shaped face. I knew the face, though I'd never seen it myself before this moment. It had been foremost in every human head today. The new student, Isabella Swan. daughter of the town's chief of police, brought to live here by some new custody situation. Bella. She'd corrected everyone who'd used her full name…

I looked away, bored. It took me a second to realize that she had not been the one to think my name.

Not surprising she's asking about the Cullens, I heard the first thought continue.

Now I recognized the 'voice.' Jeremy Stanley—it had been a while since he had bothered me with his internal chatter. What a relief it had been when he'd gotten over his misplaced infatuation. It used to be nearly impossible to escape his constant, ridiculous daydreams. I'd wished, at the time, that I could explain to himexactlywhat would have happened if my lips, and the teeth behind them, had gotten anywhere near him. That would have silenced those annoying fantasies. The thought of his reaction almost made me smile.

I wonder if she's… I guess I can't just ask her,Jeremy went on.She's really cute. I'm not surprised Erics been staring at her so much. She's definitely cuter than Makayla.

He winced mentally on the last name. His new infatuation, the generically popular Makayla Newton, was completely oblivious to him. However, she was not as oblivious to the new girl. Poor boy, he has no idea. Despite Jeremy's preoccupation with the Newton girl, he was animatedly speaking to the newcomer, explaining to her the commonly held knowledge about my family. The new student must have asked about us.

She's so quiet! She's hardly talking to anyone other than me,Jeremy was thinking,maybe Makayla will want to ask me what she's li—"

I tried to block the inane chatter out of my head before the trivial mundanity could drive me mad.

"Jeremy Stanley is giving the new Swan girl all the dirty laundry on the Cullen clan," I murmured to Emmett as a distraction.

He chuckled under his breath.I hope he's making it good,he thought.

"Rather unimaginative, actually. Just the barest hint of scandal. Not an ounce of horror. I'm a little disappointed."

And the new girl? Is she disappointed in the gossip as well?

I listened to hear what this new girl, Bella, thought of Jeremy's story. What did she see when she looked at the strange, chalky-skinned family that was universally avoided.

It was sort of my responsibility to know her reaction. I acted as a lookout, for lack of a better word, for my family. To protect us. If anyone ever grew suspicious, I could give us an early warning and an easy retreat. It happened occasionally—some human with an active imagination would see in us the characters of a book or a movie. Usually they got it wrong, but it was better to move on somewhere new than risk scrutiny.

Very, very rarely, someone would guess right. We didn't give them a chance to test their hypothesis. We simply disappeared, to become no more than a frightening memory…

I heard nothing, though I listened close beside where Jeremy's frivolous internal monologue continued to gush. It was as if there was no one sitting beside him. How peculiar, had the girl moved? That didn't seem likely, as Jeremy was still babbling to her. I looked up to check, feeling off-balance. Checking on what my extra 'hearing' couldn't tell me—it wasn't something I ever had to do.

Again, my gaze locked on those same wide blue eyes. She was sitting right where she had been before, and looking at us, a natural thing to be doing, I supposed, as Jeremy was still regaling her with the local gossip about the Cullens.

Thinking about us, too, would be natural.

But I couldn't hear a whisper.

Inviting warm red stained her cheeks as she looked down, away from the embarrassing gaffe of getting caught staring at a stranger. It was good that Jasper was still gazing out the window. I didn't like to imagine what that easy pooling of blood would do to his control.

The emotions had been as clear on the new girl's face as if they were spelled out in words across her forehead; surprise, as she unknowingly absorbed the signs of the subtle differences between her kind and mine, curiosity, as she listened to Jeremy's tale, and something more… fascination? It wouldn't be the first time. We were beautiful to them, our intended prey. Then, finally, embarrassment as I caught her staring at me.

And yet, though her thoughts had been so clear in her odd eyes—odd, because of the warmth and softness to them; blue eyes often seemed cold and hard to me—I could hear nothing but silence from the place she was sitting. Nothing at all.

I felt a moment of unease.

This was nothing I'd ever encountered before. Was there something wrong with me? I felt exactly the same as I always did. Worried, I listened harder.

All the voices I'd been blocking were suddenly shouting in my head.

…wonder what music she likes…maybe I could mention that new CD…Makayla Newton was thinking, two tables away—fixated on Bella Swan.

Look at Edyth staring at her. Isn't it enough that half the students in school are waiting for her to…Eric Yorkie was thinking sulfurous thoughts, also revolving around the girl.

…So disgusting. You'd think she was famous or something… Even Edyth Cullen, staring…Logan Mallory was so jealous that his face, by all rights, should be dark jade in color.And Jeremy, flaunting his new best friend. What a joke…Vitriol continued to spew from the boy's thoughts.

…I bet everyone has asked her that. But I'd like to talk to her. I'll think of a more original question…Lauren Mallory, Logan's twin sister, mused.

…Maybe she'll be in my Spanish…Ashley Dowling hoped.

…tons left to do tonight! Trig, and the English test. I hope my mom… Allen Weber, a quiet boy, whose thoughts were unusually kind, was the only one at the table who wasn't obsessed with this Bella.

I could hear them all, hear every insignificant thing they were thinking as it passed through their minds. But nothing at all from the new student with the deceptively communicative eyes.

And, of course, I could hear what the girl said when she spoke to Jeremy didn't have to read minds to be able to hear her low, clear voice on the far side of the room.

"Which one is the girl with the reddish brown hair?" I heard her ask, sneaking a look at me from the corner of her eyes, only to look quickly away when she saw that I was still staring.

If I'd had time to hope that hearing the sound of her voice would help me pinpoint the tone of her thoughts, lost somewhere I couldn't access them, I was instantly disappointed. Usually, people's thoughts came to them in a similar pitch as their physical voices. But this quiet, shy voice was unfamiliar, not one of the hundreds of thoughts bouncing around the room, I was sure of that. Entirely new.

I knew she liked girls!Jeremy thought before answering the new student's question. "That's Edyth. She's gorgeous, of course, but a complete waste of time. She doesn't date. Apparently no one here is good-looking enough for her." He sniffed.

I turned my head away to hide my smile. Jeremy and his classmates had no idea how lucky they were that none of them particularly appealed to me.

Beneath the transient humor, I felt a strange impulse, one I did not clearly understand. It had something to do with the predatory nature of the thoughts swirling around this Bella Swan—so many of the students wanted to impose their way into her life. I felt the strangest urge to step in, to shield this Bella from the selfish workings of her classmates' minds. What an odd thing to feel. Trying to ferret out the motivations behind impulse, I examined the new girl one more time.

Perhaps it was just some long buried protective instinct—the strong for the weak. This girl looked more fragile than her new classmates. Her skin was so translucent it was hard to believe it offered her much defense from the outside world. I could see the rhythmic pulse of blood through her veins under the clear, pale membrane… But I should not concentrate on that. I was good at this life I'd chosen, but I was just as thirsty as Jasper and there was no point in inviting temptation.

There was a faint crease between Bella's dark eyebrows that she seemed unaware of.

It was unbelievably frustrating! I could clearly see that it was a strain for her to sit there, to make conversation with strangers, to be the center of attention. I could sense her shyness from the way she held her shoulders, slightly hunched, as if she was expecting a rebuff at any moment. And yet I could only sense, could only see, could only imagine. There was nothing but silence from the very quiet human girl. I could hear nothing. Why?

"Shall we?" Royal murmured, interrupting my focus.

I looked away from Bella Swan with a sense of relief. I didn't want to continue to fail at this—it irritated me. And I didn't want to develop any interest in her hidden thoughts simply because they were hidden from me. No doubt, when I did decipher her thoughts—and Iwould find a way to do so—they would be just as petty and trivial as any human's thoughts. Not worth the effort I would expend to reach them.

"So is the new one afraid of us yet?" Emmett asked, still waiting for my response to his question before.

I shrugged. She wasn't interested enough to press for more information. Nor should I be interested.

We got up from the table and walked out of the cafeteria.

Emmett, Royal, and Jasper were pretending to be seniors; they left for their classes. I was playing a younger role than they. I headed off for my junior level biology class, preparing my mind for the tedium. It was doubtful Ms. Banner, a woman of average intelligence, would manage to pull out anything in her lecture that would surprise someone holding two graduate degrees in medicine.

In the classroom, I settled into my chair and let my books—props, again; they held nothing I didn't already know—spill across the table. I was the only student who had a table to herself. The humans weren't smart enough toknowthey feared me, but their survival instincts were enough to keep them away.

The room slowly filled as they trickled in from lunch. I leaned back in my chair and waited for the time to pass. Again, I wished I was able to sleep.

Because I'd been thinking about her, when Allen Weber escorted the new girl through the door, her name intruded on my attention.

Bella seems just as shy as me. I'll bet today is really hard for her. I wish I could say something… but it would probably just sound stupid…

Yes!Makayla Newton thought, turning in her seat to watch Allen and Bella enter.

Still, from the place where Bella Swan stood, nothing. The empty space where her thoughts should be irritated and unnerved me.

She came closer, walking down the aisle beside me to get to the teacher's desk. Poor soul; the seat next to me was the only one available. Automatically, I cleared what would be her side of the desk, shoving my books into a pile. I doubted she would feel very comfortable there. She was in for a long semester—in this class, at least. Perhaps, though, sitting beside her, I'd be able to flush out her secrets…not that I'd ever needed close proximity before…not that I would find anything worth listening to…

Bella Swan walked into the flow of the heated hair that blew toward me from the vent.

Her scent hit me like a wrecking ball, like a battering ram. There was no image violent enough to encapsulate the force of what happened to me in that moment.

In that instant, I was nothing close to the human I'd once been; no trace of the shreds of humanity I'd manage to cloak myself in remained.

I was a predator. She was my prey. There was nothing else in the whole world but that truth.

There was no room full of witnesses—they were already collateral damage in my head. The mystery of her thoughts was forgotten. Her thoughts meant nothing, for she would not go on thinking them much longer.

I was a vampire, and she had the sweetest blood I'd smelled in nearly a century.

I hadn't imagined such a scent could exist. If I'd known it did, I would have gone searching for it long ago. I would have combed the planet for her. I could imagine the taste…

Thirst burned my throat like fire. My mouth was dry and papery. The fresh flow of venom did nothing to dispel the sensation. My stomach twisted with the hunger that was an echo of the thirst. My muscles coiled to spring.

Not a full second had passed. She was still taking the same step that had put her downwind from me.

As her foot touched the ground, her eyes slid toward me, a movement she clearly meant to be stealthy. Her glance met mine, and I saw myself reflected in the wide mirror of her blue eyes.

The shock of the face I saw there saved her life for a few thorny moments.

She didn't make it easier. When she processed the expression on my face, blood flooded her cheeks again, turning her skin the most delicious color I'd ever seen. The scent was a thick haze in my brain. I could barely think through it. My thoughts raged, resisting control, incoherent.

She walked more quickly now, as if she understood the need to escape. Her haste made her clumsy—she tripped and stumbled forward, almost falling into the girl seated in the front of me. Vulnerable, weak. Even more than usual for a human.

I tried to focus on the face I'd seen in her eyes, a face I recognized with revulsion. The face of the monster in me—the face I'd beaten back with decades of effort and uncompromising discipline. How easily it sprang to the surface now!

The scent swirled around me again, scattering my thoughts and nearly propelling me out of my seat.

No.

My hand gripped under the edge of the table as I tried to hold myself in my chair. The wood was not up to the task. My hand crushed through the strut and came away with a palmful of splintered pulp, leaving the shape of my fingers carved into the remaining wood.

Destroy evidence. That was a fundamental rule. I quickly pulverized the edges of the shape with my fingertips, leaving nothing but a ragged hole and a pile of shavings on the floor, which I scattered with my foot.

Destroy evidence. Collateral damage...

I knew what had to happen now. The girl would have to come sit beside me, and I would have to kill her.

The innocent bystanders in this classroom, eighteen other children and one woman, could not be allowed to leave this room, having seen what they would soon see.

I flinched at the thought of what I must do. Even at my very worst, I had never committed this kind of atrocity. I had never killed innocents, not in over nine decades. And now I planned to slaughter twenty of them at once.

The face of the monster in the mirror mocked me.

Even as part of me shuddered away from the monster, another part was planning it.

If I killed the girl first, I would have only fifteen or twenty seconds with her before the humans in the room would react. Maybe a little bit longer, if at first they did not realize what I was doing. She would not have time to scream or feel pain; I would not kill her cruelly. That much I could give this stranger with her horribly desirable blood.

But then I would have to stop them from escaping. I wouldn't have to worry about the windows, too high up and small to provide an escape for anyone. Just the door—block that and they were trapped.

It would be slower and more difficult, trying to take them all down when they were panicked and scrambling, moving in chaos. Not impossible, but there would be much more noise. Time for lots of screaming. Someone would hear...and I'd be forced to kill even more innocents in this black hour.

And her blood would cool, while I murdered the others

The scent punished me, closing my throat with dry aching...

So the witnesses first then.

I mapped it out in my head. I was in the middle of the room, the furthest row in the back. I would take my right side first. I could snap four or five of their necks per second, I estimated. It would not be noisy. The right side would be the lucky side; they would not see me coming. Moving around the front and back up the left side, it would take me, at most, five seconds to end every life in this room.

Long enough for Bella Swan to see, briefly, what was coming for her. Long enough for her to feel fear. Long enough, maybe, if shock didn't freeze her in place, for her to work up a scream. One soft scream that would not bring anyone running.

I took a deep breath, and the scent was a fire that raced through my veins, burning out from my chest to consume every better impulse that I was capable of.

She was just turning now. In a few seconds, she would sit down inches away from me.

The monster in my head smiled in anticipation.

Someone slammed shut a folder on my left. I didn't look up to see which of the doomed humans it was. But the motion sent a wave of ordinary, unscented air wafting across my face.

For one short second, I was able to think clearly. In that precious second, I saw two faces in my head, side by side.

One was mine, or rather had been: the red-eyed monster that had killed so many people that I'd stop counting their numbers. Rationalized, justified murders. A killer of killers, a killer of other, less powerful monsters. It was a god complex, I acknowledged that—deciding who deserved a death sentence. It was a compromise with myself. I had fed on human blood, but only by the loosest definition. My victims were, in their various dark pastimes, barely more human than I was.

The other face was Carlisle's.

There was no resemblance between the two faces. They were bright day and blackest night.

There was no reason for there to be a resemblance. Carlisle was not my father in the basic biological sense. We shared no common features. The similarity in our coloring was a product of what we were; every vampire had the same ice pale skin. The similarity in the color of our eyes was another matter—a reflection of a mutual choice.

And yet, though there was no basis for a resemblance, I'd imagined that my face had begun to reflect his, to an extent, in the last ninety-odd years that I had embraced his choice and followed in his steps. My features had not changed, but it seemed to me like some of his wisdom had marked my expression, that a little of his compassion could be traced in the shape of my mouth, and hints of his patience were evident on my brow.

All those tiny improvements were lost in the face of the monster. In a few moments, there would be nothing left in me that would reflect the years I'd spent with my creator, my mentor, my father in all the ways that counted. My eyes would glow red as a devil's; all likeness would be lost forever.

In my head, Carlisle's kind eyes did not judge me. I knew that he would forgive me for this horrible act that I would do. Because he loved me. Because he thought I was better than I was. And he would still love me, even as I now proved him wrong.

Bella Swan sat down in the chair next to me, her movements stiff and awkward— with fear?—and the scent of her blood bloomed in an inexorable cloud around me.

I would prove my father wrong about me. The misery of this fact hurt almost as much as the fire in my throat.

I leaned away from her in revulsion—revolted by the monster aching to take her.

Why did she have to come here? Why did she have to exist? Why did she have to ruin the little peace I had in this non-life of mine? Why had this aggravating human ever been born? She would ruin me.

I turned my face away from her, as a sudden fierce, unreasoning hatred washed through me.

Whowasthis creature? Why me, why now? Why did I have to lose everything just because she happened to choose this unlikely town to appear in?

Why had she come here!

I didn't want to be the monster! I didn't want to kill this room full of harmless humans! I didn't want to lose everything I'd gained in a lifetime of sacrifice and denial!

I wouldn't. She couldn't make me.

The scent was the problem, the hideously appealing scent of her blood. If there was only some way to resist...if only another gust of fresh air could clear my head.

Bella Swan ran her fingers through her thick, mahogany hair.

Was she insane? It was as if she were encouraging the monster! Taunting him. There was no friendly breeze to blow the smell away from me now. All would soon be lost.

No, there was no helpful breeze. But I didn'thaveto breathe.

I stopped the flow of air through my lungs; the relief was instantaneous, but incomplete. I still had the memory of the scent in my head, the taste of it on the back of my tongue. I wouldn't be able to resist even that for long. But perhaps I could resist for an hour. One hour. Just enough time to get out of this room full of victims, victims that maybe didn't have tobevictims. If I could resist for one short hour.

It was an uncomfortable feeling, not breathing. My body did not need oxygen, but it went against my instincts. I relied on scent more than my other senses in times of stress. It led the way in the hunt, it was the first warning in case of danger. I did not often came across something as dangerous as I was, but self-preservation was just as strong in my kind as it was in the average human.

Uncomfortable, but manageable. More bearable than smellingherand not sinking my teeth through that fine, thin, pale skin to the hot, wet, pulsing—

An hour! Just one hour. I must not think of the scent, the taste.

The silent girl leaned forward, resting her head in her hand, turning her face away from me slightly. I couldn't see her face properly, to read the emotions in her clear diamond-blue eyes. Was this why she had turned away from me? To hide those eyes from me? Out of fear? Shyness? To keep her secrets from me?

My former irritation at being stymied by her soundless thoughts was weak and pale in comparison to the need—and the hate—that possessed me now. For I hated this mysterious girl beside me, hated her with all the fervor with which I clung to my former self, my love of my family, my dreams of being something better than what I was... Hating her, hating how she made me feel—it helped a little. Yes, the irritation I'd felt before was weak, but it, too, helped a little. I clung to any emotion that distracted me from imagining what she wouldtastelike...

Hate and irritation. Impatience. Would the hour never pass?

And when the hour ended... Then she would walk out of this room. And I would do what?

I could introduce myself.Hello, my name is Edyth Cullen. May I walk you to your next class?

She would say yes. It would be the polite thing to do. Even already fearing me, as I suspected she did, she would follow convention and walk beside me. It should be easy enough to lead her in the wrong direction. A spur of the forest reached out like a finger to touch the back corner of the parking lot. I could tell her I'd forgotten a book in my car...

Would anyone notice that I was the last person she'd been seen with? It was raining, as usual; two dark raincoats heading the wrong direction wouldn't pique too much interest, or give me away.

Except that I was not the only student who was aware of her today—though no one was as blisteringly aware as I was. Makayla Newton, in particular, was conscious of every shift in her weight as she fidgeted in her chair—she was uncomfortable so close to me, just as anyone would be, just as I'd expected before her scent had destroyed all charitable concern. Makayla Newton would notice if she left the classroom with me.

If I could last an hour, could I last two?

I flinched at the pain of the burning.

She would go home to an empty house. Police Chief Swan worked a full day. I knew his house, as I knew every house in the tiny town. His home was nestled right up against thick woods, with no close neighbors. Even if she had time to scream, which she would not, there would be no one to hear.

That would be the responsible way to deal with this. I'd gone eight decades without human blood. If I held my breath, I could last two hours. And when I had her alone, there would be no chance of anyone else getting hurt.And no reason to rush through the experience, the monster in my head agreed.

It was sophistry to think that by saving the nineteen humans in this room with effort and patience, I would be less a monster when I killed this innocent girl.

Though I hated her, I knew my hatred was unjust. I knew that what I really hated was myself. And I would hate us both so much more when she was dead.

I made it through the hour in this way—imagining the best ways to kill her. I tried to avoid imagining the actualact. That might be too much for me; I might lose this battle and end up killing everyone in sight. So I planned strategy, and nothing more. It carried me through the hour.

Once, toward the very end, she peeked up at me through her fingers. I could feel the unjustified hatred burning out of me as I met her gaze—see the reflection of it in her frightened eyes. Blood painted her cheeks before she could hide in her hands again, and I was nearly undone.

But the bell rang. Saved by the bell—how cliché. We were both saved. She, saved from death. I, saved for just a short time from being the nightmarish creature I feared and loathed.

I couldn't walk as slowly as I should as I darted from the room. If anyone had been looking at me, they might have suspected that there was something not right about the way I moved. No one was paying attention to me. All human thoughts still swirled around the girl who was condemned to die in little more than an hour's time.

I hid in my car.

I didn't like to think of myself having to hide. How cowardly that sounded. But it was unquestionably the case now.

I didn't have enough discipline left to be around humans now. Focusing so much of my efforts on not killingoneof them left me no resources to resist the others. What a waste that would be. If I were to give in to the monster, I might as well make it worth the defeat.

I played a CD of music that usually calmed me, but it did little for me now. No, what helped most now was the cool, wet, clean air that drifted with the light rain through my open windows. Though I could remember the scent of Bella Swan's blood with perfect clarity, inhaling the clean air was like washing out the inside of my body from its infection.

I was sane again. I could think again. And I could fight again. I could fight against what I didn't want to be.

I didn't have to go to her home. I didn't have to kill her. Obviously, I was a rational, thinking creature, and I had a choice. There was always a choice.

It hadn't felt that way in the classroom...but I was away from her now. Perhaps, if I avoided her very, very carefully, there was no need for my life to change. I had things ordered the way I liked them now. Why should I let some aggravating and delicious nobody ruin that?

I didn'thaveto disappoint my father. I didn't have to cause my mother stress, worry...pain. Yes, it would hurt my adopted mother, too. And Esme was so gentle, so tender and soft. Causing someone like Esme pain was truly inexcusable.

How ironic that I'd wanted to protect this human girl from the paltry, toothless threat of her classmates' thoughts. I was the last person who would ever stand as a protector for Isabella Swan. She would never need protection from anything more than she needed it from me.

Where was Alice, I suddenly wondered? Hadn't she seen me killing the Swan girl in a multitude of ways? Why hadn't she come to help—to stop me or help me clean up the evidence, whichever? Was she so absorbed with watching for trouble with Jasper that she'd missed this much more horrific possibility? Was I stronger than I thought? Would I really not have done anything to the girl?

No. I knew that wasn't true. Alice must be concentrating on Jasper very hard.

I searched in the direction I knew she would be, in the small building used for English classes. It did not take me long to locate her familiar 'voice.' And I was right. Her every thought was turned to Jasper, watching his small choices with minute scrutiny.

I wished I could ask her advice, but at the same time, I was glad she didn't know what I was capable of. That she was unaware of the massacre I had considered in the last hour.

I felt a new burn through my body—the burn of shame. I didn't want any of them to know.

If I could avoid Bella Swan, if I could manage not to kill her—even as I thought that, the monster writhed and gnashed his teeth in frustration—then no one would have to know. If I could keep away from her scent...

There was no reason why I shouldn't try, at least. Make a good choice. Try to be what Carlisle thought I was.

The last hour of school was almost over. I decided to put my new plan into action at once. Better than sitting here in the parking lot where she might pass me and ruin my attempt. Again, I felt the unjust hatred for the girl. I hated that she had this unconscious power over me. That she could make me be something I reviled.

I walked swiftly—a little too swiftly, but there were no witnesses—across the tiny campus to the office. There was no reason for Bella Swan to cross paths with me. She would be avoided like the plague she was.

The office was empty except for the secretary, the one I wanted to see.

She didn't notice my silent entrance.

"Mrs. Cope?"

The woman with the unnaturally red hair looked up and her eyes widened. It always caught them off guard, the little markers they didn't understand, no matter how many times they'd seen one of us before.

"Oh," she gasped, a little flustered. She smoothed her shirt.Silly,she thought to herself.She's almost young enough to be my daughter. Too young to think of that way...And why am i thinking of another woman like this.

"Hello, Edyth. What can I do for you?" Her eyelashes fluttered behind her thick glasses.

Uncomfortable. But I knew how to be charming when I wanted to be. It was easy, since I was able to know instantly how any tone or gesture was taken.

I leaned forward, meeting her gaze as if I were staring deeply into her depthless, small brown eyes. Her thoughts were already in a flutter. This should be simple.

"I was wondering if you could help me with my schedule," I said in the soft voice I reserved for not scaring humans.

I heard the tempo of her heart increase.

"Of course, Edyth. How can I help?"Too young, too young,she chanted to herself. Wrong, of course. I was older than her grandmother. But according to my driver's license, she was right.

"I was wondering if I could move from my biology class to a senior level science? Physics, perhaps?"

"It there a problem with Mrs. Banner, Edyth?"

"Not at all, it's just that I've already studied this material..."

"In that accelerated school you all went to in Alaska, right." Her thin lips pursed as she considered this.They should all be in college. I've heard the teachers complain. Perfect four point ohs, never a hesitation with a response, never a wrong answer on a test—like they've found some way to cheat in every subject. Mr. Varner would rather believe that anyone was cheating than think a student was smarter than him... I'll bet their mother tutors them..."Actually, Edyth, physics is pretty much full right now. Mrs. Banner hates to have more than twenty-five students in a class—"

"I wouldn't be any trouble."

Of course not. Not a perfect Cullen."I know that, Edyth. But there just aren't enough seats as it is..."

"Could I drop the class, then? I could use the period for independent study."

"Drop biology?" Her mouth fell open.That's crazy. How hard is it to sit through a subject you already know? Theremustbe a problem with Mrs. Banner. I wonder if I should talk to Betty about it?"You won't have enough credits to graduate."

"I'll catch up next year."

"Maybe you should talk to your parents about that."

The door opened behind me, but who ever it was did not think of me, so I ignored the arrival and concentrated on Mrs. Cope. I leaned slightly closer, and held my eyes a little wider. This would work better if they were gold instead of black. The blackness frightened people, as it should.

"Please, Mrs. Cope?" I made my voice as smooth and compelling as it could be— and it could be considerably compelling. "Isn't there some other section I could switch to? I'm sure there has to be an open slot somewhere? Sixth hour biology can't be the only option..."

I smiled at her, careful not to flash my teeth so widely that it would scare her, letting the expression soften my face.

Her heart drummed faster.Too young,she reminded herself frantically. "Well, maybe I could talk to Betty—I mean Mrs. Banner. I could see if—"

A second was all it took to change everything: the atmosphere in the room, my mission here, the reason I leaned toward the red-haired woman... What had been for one purpose before was now for another.

A second was all it took for Samantha Wells to open the door and place a signed tardy slip in the basket by the door, and hurry out again, in a rush to be away from school. A second was all it took for the sudden gust of wind through the open door to crash into me. A second was all it took for me to realize why that first person through the door had not interrupted me with her thoughts.

I turned, though I did not need to make sure. I turned slowly, fighting to control the muscles that rebelled against me.

Bella Swan stood with her back pressed to the wall beside the door, a piece of paper clutched in her hands. Her eyes were even wider than usual as she took in my ferocious, inhuman glare.

The smell of her blood saturated every particle of air in the tiny, hot room. My throat burst into flames.

The monster glared back at me from the mirror of her eyes again, a mask of evil.

My hand hesitated in the air above the counter. I would not have to look back in order to reach across it and slam Mrs. Cope's head into her desk with enough force to kill her. Two lives, rather than twenty. A trade.

The monster waited anxiously, hungrily, for me to do it.

But there was always a choice—therehadto be.

I cut off the motion of my lungs, and fixed Carlisle's face in front of my eyes. I turned back to face Mrs. Cope, and heard her internal surprise at the change in my expression. She shrank away from me, but her fear did not form into coherent words.

Using all the control I'd mastered in my decades of self-denial, I made my voice even and smooth. There was just enough air left in my lungs to speak once more, rushing through the words.

"Never mind, then. I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help."

I spun and launched myself from the room, trying not to feel the warm-blooded heat of the girl's body as I passed within inches of it.

I didn't stop until I was in my car, moving too fast the entire way there. Most of the humans had cleared out already, so there weren't a lot of witnesses. I heard a sophomore, D.J. Garrett, notice, and then disregard...

Where did Cullen come from—it was like he just came out of thin air... There I go, with the imagination again. Mom always says...

When I slid into my Volvo, the others were already there. I tried to control my breathing, but I was gasping at the fresh air like I'd been suffocated.

"Edyth?" Alice asked, alarm in her voice.

I just shook my head at her.

"What the hell happened to you?" Emmett demanded, distracted, for the moment, from the fact that Jasper was not in the mood for his rematch.

Instead of answering, I threw the car into reverse. I had to get out of this lot before Bella Swan could follow me here, too. My own personal demon, haunting me... I swung the car around and accelerated. I hit forty before I was on the road. On the road, I hit seventy before I made the corner.

Without looking, I knew that Emmett, Royal and Jasper had all turned to stare at Alice. She shrugged. She couldn't see what had passed, only what was coming.

She looked ahead for me now. We both processed what she saw in her head, and we were both surprised.

"You're leaving?" she whispered.

The others stared at me now.

"Am I?" I hissed through my teeth.

She saw it then, as my resolve wavered and another choice spun my future in a darker direction. "Oh."

Bella Swan, dead. My eyes, glowing crimson with fresh blood. The search that would follow. The careful time we would wait before it was safe for us to pull out and start again...

"Oh," she said again. The picture grew more specific. I saw the inside of Chief Swan's house for the first time, saw Bella in a small kitchen with yellow cupboards, her back to me as I stalked her from the shadows...let the scent pull me toward her...

"Stop!" I groaned, not able to bear more.

"Sorry," she whispered, her eyes wide.

The monster rejoiced.

And the vision in her head shifted again. An empty highway at night, the trees beside it coated in snow, flashing by at almost two hundred miles per hour.

"I'll miss you," she said. "No matter how short a time you're gone."

Emmett and Royal exchanged an apprehensive glance.

We were almost to the turn off onto the long drive that led to our home.

"Drop us here," Alice instructed. "You should tell Carlisle yourself."

I nodded, and the car squealed to a sudden stop.

Emmett, Royal and Jasper got out in silence; they would make Alice explain when I was gone. Alice touched my shoulder.

"You will do the right thing," she murmured. Not a vision this time—an order. "She's Charlie Swan's only family. It would kill him, too."

"Yes," I said, agreeing only with the last part.

She slid out to join the others, her eyebrows pulling together in anxiety. They melted into woods, out of sight before I could turn the car around.

I accelerated back toward town, and I knew the visions in Alice's head would be flashing from dark to bright like a strobe light. As I sped back to Forks doing ninety, I wasn't sure where I was going. To say goodbye to my father? Or to embrace the monster inside me?

The road flew away beneath my tires

 **Can you guys review tell me if you like it.**


	3. open book Bella pov

The next day was better… and worse.

It was better because it wasn't raining yet, though the clouds were dense and opaque. It was easier because I knew what to expect of my day. Makayla came to sit by me in English, and walked me to my next class, with Chess Club Eric glaring at her all the while; which was kind of odd. People didn't look at me quite as much as they had yesterday. I sat with a big group at lunch that included Makayla, Eric, Jeremy, and several other people whose names and faces I was starting to remember. I began to feel like I was treading water, instead of drowning in it.

It was worse because I was tired; I still couldn't sleep with the wind echoing around the house. It was worse because Mr. Varner called on me in Trig when my hand wasn't raised and I had the wrong answer. It was miserable because I had to play volleyball, and the one time I didn't dodge out of the way of the ball, I somehow managed to hit two of my teammates in the head with it. And it was worse because Edyth Cullen wasn't in school at all.

All morning I was dreading lunch, fearing her bizarre glares. Part of me wanted to confront her and demand to know what her problem was. While I was lying awake in my bed, I even imagined what I would say. But I knew myself too well to think I would really have the guts to do it. I made the Cowardly Lion look like the Terminator.

But when I walked into the cafeteria with Jeremy— trying to keep my eyes from sweeping the place for her, and failing entirely— I saw that her four adopted siblings were sitting together at the same table, and she was not with them.

Makayla intercepted us and steered us to her table. Jeremy seemed elated by the attention, and his friends quickly joined us. But as I tried to listen to their easy chatter, I was terribly uncomfortable, waiting nervously for the moment she would arrive. I hoped that she would simply ignore me when she came, and prove that I was just paranoid and making a big deal out of nothing.

She didn't come, and as time passed I grew more and more tense.

I walked to Biology with more confidence when, by the end of lunch, she still hadn't showed. Makayla, who was taking on the qualities of a golden retriever, walked faithfully by my side to class. I held my breath at the door, but Edyth Cullen wasn't there, either. I exhaled and went to my seat. Makayla followed, talking about an upcoming trip to the beach. She lingered by my desk till the bell rang. Then she smiled at me wistfully and went to sit by a girl with braces. I was starting to think I would have to do something about Makayla; I wasn't entirely sure if her attention was just an overly eager friendliness or something else.

In a small town like this, where everyone lived on top of everyone else, diplomacy was essential. I didn't tend to make a big deal of who I found attractive. It was just easier that way. Besides, it hadn't really mattered up to now. No one really paid attention to me in Phoenix, anyway.

I was relieved that I had the desk to myself, that Edyth was absent. I told myself that repeatedly. But I couldn't get rid of the nagging suspicion that I was the reason she wasn't there. It was ridiculous, and egotistical, to think that I could affect anyone that strongly. It was impossible. And yet I couldn't stop worrying that it was true.

When the school day was finally done, and the blush was fading out of my cheeks from the volleyball incident, I changed quickly back into my jeans and navy-blue sweater. I hurried from the boys' locker room, pleased to find that I had successfully evaded my retriever friend for the moment. I walked swiftly out to the parking lot. It was crowded now with fleeing students. I got in my truck and dug through my bag to make sure I had what I needed.

Last night I'd discovered that Charlie couldn't cook much besides fried eggs and bacon. So I requested that I be assigned kitchen detail for the duration of my stay. He was willing enough to let me take over. I also found out that he had no food in the house. So I had my shopping list and the cash from the jar in the cupboard labeled FOOD MONEY, and I was on my way to the Thriftway.

I gunned my deafening engine to life, ignoring the heads that turned in my direction, and backed carefully into the line of cars that were waiting to exit the parking lot. As I waited, trying to pretend that the earsplitting rumble was coming from someone else's car, I saw the two Cullens and the Hale twins getting into their car. It was the shiny new Volvo. Of course.

I hadn't noticed their clothes before— I'd been too mesmerized by their faces. Now that I looked, it was obvious that they were all dressed exceptionally well; simply, but in clothes that subtly hinted at designer origins. With their remarkable good looks, the style with which they carried themselves, they could have worn dishrags and pulled it off. It seemed excessive for them to have both looks and money. But as far as I could tell, life worked that way most of the time. It didn't look as if it bought them any acceptance here.

No, I didn't fully believe that. The isolation must be their desire; I couldn't imagine any door that wouldn't be opened by that degree of beauty.

They looked at my noisy truck as I passed them, just like everyone else. Except they weren't like anyone else. I saw the big burly guy—Emmett—had his hand casually on the golden prom king's hip. Despite their obvious confidence, I couldn't help but feel surprised that he would do that in a small town like Forks. Looked like the rumors Jeremy mentioned were true. The edgy blond boy caught me looking, and the way he narrowed his eyes made me turn straight ahead and punch the gas. The truck didn't go any faster, the engine just grumbled even louder.

The Thriftway was not far from the school, just a few streets south, off the highway. It was nice to be inside the supermarket; it felt normal. I did the shopping at home, and I fell into the pattern of the familiar task gladly. The store was big enough inside that I couldn't hear the tapping of the rain on the roof to remind me where I was.

When I got home, I unloaded all the groceries, stuffing them in wherever I could find an open space. I hoped Charlie wouldn't mind. I wrapped potatoes in foil and stuck them in the oven to bake, covered a steak in marinade and balanced it on top of a carton of eggs in the fridge.

When I was finished with that, I took my book bag upstairs. Before starting my homework, I changed into a pair of dry sweats, ran my fingers through my damp brown hair, and checked my e-mail for the first time. I had three messages.

"Bella," my mom wrote.

Write me as soon as you get in. Tell me how your flight was. Is it raining? I miss you already. I'm almost finished packing for Florida, but I can't find my pink blouse. Do you know where I put it? Phil says hi. Mom.

I sighed and went to the next. It was sent eight hours after the first.

"Bella," she wrote…

Why haven't you e-mailed me yet? What are you waiting for? Mom.

The last was from this morning.

Isabella Marie, If I haven't heard from you by 5: 30 p.m. today I'm calling Charlie.

I checked the clock. I still had an hour, but my mom was well known for jumping the gun.

Mom,

Calm down. I'm writing right now. Don't do anything rash.

Bella.

I sent that, and began again.

Mom,

Everything is great. Of course it's raining. I was waiting for something to write about. School isn't bad, just a little repetitive. I met some nice kids who sit by me at lunch.

Your blouse is at the dry cleaners— you were supposed to pick it up Friday.

Charlie bought me a truck, can you believe it? I love it. It's old, but really sturdy, which is good, you know, for me.

I miss you, too. I'll write again soon, but I'm not going to check my e-mail every five minutes. Relax, breathe. I love you.

Bella.

I had decided to readWuthering Heights— the novel we were currently studying in English— yet again for the fun of it, and that's what I was doing when Charlie came home. I'd lost track of the time, and I hurried downstairs to take the potatoes out and put the steak in to broil.

"Bella?" my father called out when he heard me on the stairs.

Who else? I thought to myself.

"Hey, Dad, welcome home."

"Thanks." He hung up his gun belt and stepped out of his boots as I bustled about the kitchen. As far as I was aware, he'd never shot the gun on the job. But he kept it ready. When I came here as a child, he would always remove the bullets as soon as he walked in the door. I guess he considered me old enough now not to shoot myself by accident, and not depressed enough to shoot myself on purpose.

"What's for dinner?" he asked warily. My mother was an imaginative cook, and her experiments weren't always edible. I was surprised, and sad, that he seemed to remember that far back.

"Steak and potatoes," I answered, and he looked relieved.

He seemed to feel awkward standing in the kitchen doing nothing; he lumbered into the living room to watch TV while I worked. We were both more comfortable that way. I made a salad while the steak cooked, and set the table.

I called him in when dinner was ready, and he sniffed appreciatively as he walked into the room.

"Smells good, Bells."

"Thanks."

We ate in silence for a few minutes. It wasn't uncomfortable. Neither of us was bothered by the quiet. In some ways, we were well suited for living together.

"So, how did you like school? Have you made any friends?" he asked as he was taking seconds.

"Well, I have a few classes with a boy named Jeremy. I sit with his friends at lunch. And there's this girl, Makayla, who's very friendly. Everybody seems pretty nice." With one outstanding exception.

"That must be Makayla Newton. Nice kid— nice family. Her dad owns the sporting goods store just outside of town. He makes a good living off all the backpackers who come through here."

"Do you know the Cullen family?" I asked hesitantly.

"Dr. Cullen's family? Sure. Dr. Cullen's a great man."

"They… the kids… are a little different. They don't seem to fit in very well at school."

Charlie surprised me by looking angry.

"People in this town," he muttered. "Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon who could probably work in any hospital in the world, make ten times the salary he gets here," he continued, getting louder. "We're lucky to have him— lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town. He's an asset to the community, and all of those kids are well behaved and polite. I had my doubts, when they first moved in, with all those adopted teenagers. I thought we might have some problems with them. But they're all very mature— I haven't had one speck of trouble from any of them. That's more than I can say for the children of some folks who have lived in this town for generations. And they stick together the way a family should— camping trips every other weekend.… Just because they're newcomers, people have to talk."

It was the longest speech I'd ever heard Charlie make. He must feel strongly about whatever people were saying.

I backpedaled. "They seemed nice enough to me. I just noticed they kept to themselves. They're all very attractive," I added, trying to be more complimentary.

"You should see the doctor," Charlie said, laughing. "It's a good thing he's happily married. A lot of the staff at the hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around."

We lapsed back into silence as we finished eating. He cleared the table while I started on the dishes. He went back to the TV, and after I finished washing the dishes by hand— no dishwasher— I went upstairs unwillingly to work on my math homework. I could feel a tradition in the making.

That night it was finally quiet. I fell asleep quickly, exhausted.

The rest of the week was uneventful. I got used to the routine of my classes. By Friday I was able to recognize, if not name, almost all the students at school. In Gym, the kids on my team learned not to pass me the ball and to step quickly in front of me if the other team tried to take advantage of my weakness. I happily stayed out of their way.

Edyth Cullen didn't come back to school.

Every day, I watched anxiously until the rest of the Cullens entered the cafeteria without her. Then I could relax and join in the lunchtime conversation. Mostly it centered around a trip to the La Push Ocean Park in two weeks that Makayla was putting together. I was invited, and I had agreed to go, more out of politeness than desire. Beaches should be hot and dry.

By Friday I was perfectly comfortable entering my Biology class, no longer worried that Edyth would be there. For all I knew, she had dropped out of school. I tried not to think about her, but I couldn't totally suppress the worry that I was responsible for her continued absence, ridiculous as it seemed.

My first weekend in Forks passed without incident. Charlie, unused to spending time in the usually empty house, worked most of the weekend. I cleaned the house, got ahead on my homework, and wrote my mom more bogusly cheerful e-mail. I did drive to the library on Saturday, but it was so poorly stocked that I didn't bother to get a card; I would have to make a date to visit Olympia or Seattle soon and find a good bookstore. I wondered idly what kind of gas mileage the truck got… and shuddered at the thought.

The rain stayed soft over the weekend, quiet, so I was able to sleep well.

People greeted me in the parking lot Monday morning. I didn't know all their names, but I waved back and smiled at everyone. It was colder this morning, but happily not raining. In English, Makayla took her accustomed seat by my side. We had a pop quiz onWuthering Heights. It was straightforward, very easy. All in all, I was feeling a lot more comfortable than I had thought I would feel by this point. More comfortable than I had ever expected to feel here.

When we walked out of class, the air was full of swirling bits of white. I could hear people shouting excitedly to each other. The wind bit at my cheeks, my nose.

"Wow," Makayla said. "It's snowing."

I looked at the little cotton fluffs that were building up along the sidewalk and swirling erratically past my face.

"Ugh." Snow. There went my good day.

She looked surprised. "Don't you like snow?"

"Snow means it's too cold for rain." Obviously. "Besides, I thought it was supposed to come down in flakes— you know, each one unique and all that. These just look like the ends of Q-tips."

"Haven't you ever seen snow fall before?" she asked incredulously.

"Sure I have." I paused. "On TV."

Makayla laughed. And then a big, squishy ball of dripping snow smacked into the back of her head. We both turned to see where it came from. I suspected Eric, who was walking away, his back toward us— in the wrong direction for his next class. Makayla apparently had the same notion. She bent over and began scraping together a pile of the white mush.

"I'll see you at lunch, okay?" I kept walking as I spoke. "Once people start throwing wet stuff, I go inside."

She just nodded, her eyes on Eric's retreating figure.

Throughout the morning, everyone chattered excitedly about the snow; apparently it was the first snowfall of the new year. I kept my mouth shut. Sure, it was drier than rain— until it melted in your socks.

I walked alertly to the cafeteria with Jeremy after Spanish. Mush balls were flying everywhere. I kept a binder in my hands, ready to use it as a shield if necessary. Jeremy thought I was hilarious, but something in my expression kept him from lobbing a snowball at me himself.

Makayla caught up to us as we walked in the doors, laughing, with ice melting in her rapidly curling hair. She and Jeremy were talking animatedly about the snow fight as we got in line to buy food. I glanced toward that table in the corner out of habit. And then I froze where I stood. There were five people at the table.

Jeremy pulled on my arm.

"Hello? Bella? What do you want?"

I looked down; my ears were hot. I had no reason to feel self-conscious, I reminded myself. I hadn't done anything wrong.

"What's with Bella?" Makayla asked Jeremy.

"Nothing," I answered. "I'll just get a soda today." I caught up to the end of the line.

"Aren't you hungry?" Jeremy asked.

"Actually, I feel a little sick," I said, my eyes still on the floor. Out of the corner of my eye I could see Makayla make a concerned face, Jeremy discretely shuffled a few steps away from me. I waited for them to get their food, and then followed them to a table, my eyes on my feet.

I sipped my soda slowly, my stomach churning. Twice Makayla asked, with unnecessary concern, how I was feeling. I told her it was nothing, but I was wondering if Ishouldplay it up and escape to the nurse's office for the next hour.

Ridiculous. I shouldn't have to run away. Why was a freaking out? I was just being glared at. It wasn't like Edyth Cullen was going to stab me with a knife.

I decided to permit myself one glance at the Cullen family's table. If she was glaring at me, I would skip Biology, like the coward I was.

I kept my head down and glanced out of the side of my eye. None of them were looking this way. I lifted my head a little.

They were laughing. Edyth, Jasper, and Emmett all had their hair entirely saturated with melting snow. Alice and Royal were leaning away as Emmett shook his dripping hair toward them. They were enjoying the snowy day, just like everyone else— only they looked more like a scene from a movie than the rest of us.

But, aside from the laughter and playfulness, there was something different, and I couldn't quite pinpoint what that difference was. I examined Edyth the most carefully. Her skin was less pale, I decided— flushed from the snow fight maybe— the circles under her eyes much less noticeable. But there was something more. I pondered, staring, trying to isolate the change.

"Bella, what are you staring at?" Jeremy intruded, his eyes following my stare.

At that precise moment, her eyes flashed over to meet mine.

I quickly turned my head completely towards Jeremy, shifting my shoulders in his direction, too. Jeremy leaned back, surprised by my sudden movement.

I was sure, though, in the instant our eyes met, that she didn't look harsh or unfriendly as she had the last time I'd seen her. She looked merely curious again, unsatisfied in some way.

"Edyth Cullen is staring at you," Jeremy snickeined in my ear.

"She doesn't look angry, does she?" I couldn't help asking.

"No," he said, sounding confused by my question. "Should she be?"

"I don't think she likes me," I confided. I still felt queasy. I felt like she was staring at me.

"The Cullens don't like anybody… well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But she's still staring at you."

"Stop looking at her," I insisted.

He snickered, but he looked away.

Makayla interrupted us then— she was planning an epic battle of the blizzard in the parking lot after school and wanted us to join. Jeremy agreed enthusiastically. The way he looked at Makayla left little doubt that he would be up for anything she suggested, I wondered if Makayla would notice his enthusiasm. I kept silent. I would have to hide in the gym until the parking lot cleared.

For the rest of the lunch hour I very carefully kept my eyes at my own table. I decided to honor the bargain I'd made with myself. Since she didn't look angry, I would go to Biology. I started feeling knots in my stomach at the thought of sitting next to her again.

I didn't really want to walk to class with Makayla as usual— she seemed to be a popular target for the snowball snipers— but when we went to the door, everyone besides me groaned in unison. It was raining, washing all traces of the snow away in clear, icy ribbons down the side of the walkway. I pulled my hood up, secretly pleased. I would be free to go straight home after Gym.

Makayla kept up a string of complaints on the way to building four.

Once inside the classroom, I saw with relief that my table was still empty. Mrs. Banner was walking around the room, distributing one microscope and box of slides to each table. Class didn't start for a few minutes, and the room buzzed with conversation. I kept my eyes away from the door, doodling idly on the cover of my notebook.

I heard very clearly when the chair next to me moved, but my eyes stayed carefully focused on the pattern I was drawing.

"Hello," said a quiet, musical voice.

I looked up, stunned that she was speaking to me. She was sitting as far away from me as the desk allowed, but her chair was angled toward me. Her hair was dripping wet, disheveled— even so, she looked like she'd just finished shooting a commercial. Her dazzling face was friendly, open, a slight smile on her flawless lips. But her eyes were careful.

"My name is Edyth Cullen she continued. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

My mind was spinning with confusion. Had I made up the whole thing? She was perfectly polite now. I had to speak; she was waiting. But I couldn't think of anything conventional to say.

"H-how do you know my name?" I stammered.

She laughed a soft, enchanting laugh.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name. The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive."

I grimaced. I knew it was something like that.

"No," I persisted stupidly. "I meant, why did you call me Bella?"

She seemed confused. "Do you prefer Isabella?"

"No, I like Bella," I said. "But I think Charlie— I mean my dad— must call me Isabella behind my back— that's what everyone here seems to know me as," I tried to explain, feeling like an utter moron.

"Oh." She let it drop. I looked away awkwardly.

Thankfully, Mrs. Banner started class at that moment. I tried to concentrate as she explained the lab we would be doing today. The slides in the box were out of order. Working as lab partners, we had to separate the slides of onion root tip cells into the phases of mitosis they represented and label them accordingly. We weren't supposed to use our books. In twenty minutes, she would be coming around to see who had it right.

"Get started," she commanded.

"After you, partner?" Edyth asked. I looked up to see her smiling a crooked smile so beautiful that I could only stare at her like an idiot.

She raised her eyebrows. "Or I could start, if you wish.

"No," I said, flushing. "I'll go ahead." I was showing off, just a little. I'd already done this lab, and I knew what I was looking for. It should be easy. I snapped the first slide into place under the microscope and adjusted it quickly to the 40X objective. I studied the slide briefly.

My assessment was confident. "Prophase."

"Do you mind if I look?" she asked as I began to remove the slide. Her hand caught mine, to stop me, as she asked. Her fingers were ice cold, like she'd been holding them in a snowdrift before class. But that wasn't why I jerked my hand away so quickly. When she touched me, it stung my hand as if an electric current had passed through us.

"I'm sorry," she muttered, pulling her hand back immediately. However, she continued to reach for the microscope. I watched her, still staggered, as she examined the slide for an even shorter time than I had.

"Prophase," she agreed, writing it neatly in the first space on our worksheet. She swiftly switched out the first slide for the second, and then glanced at it cursorily.

"Anaphase," she murmured, writing it down as she spoke.

I kept my voice indifferent. "Mind if I look?"

She smirked and pushed the microscope to me.

I looked through the eyepiece eagerly, only to be disappointed. Dang it, she was right.

"Slide three?" I held out my hand without looking at her.

She handed it to me; it seemed like she was being careful not to touch my skin again. I took the most fleeting look I could manage.

"Interphase." I passed her the microscope before she could ask for it. She took a swift peek, and then wrote it down. I would have written it while she looked, but her clear, elegant script intimidated me. I didn't want to spoil the page with my clumsy scrawl.

We were finished before anyone else was close. I could see Makayla and her partner comparing two slides again and again, and another group had their book open under the table. Which left me with nothing to do but try to not look at her… unsuccessfully. I glanced up, and she was staring at me, that same inexplicable look of frustration in her eyes. Suddenly I identified that subtle difference in her face.

"Did you get contacts?" I blurted out unthinkingly. She seemed puzzled by my unexpected question.

"No."

"Oh," I mumbled. "I thought there was something different about your eyes."

She shrugged, and looked away.

In fact, I was sure there was something different. I vividly remembered the flat black color of her eyes the last time she'd glared at me— the color was striking against the background of her pale skin and her auburn hair. Today, her eyes were a completely different color: a strange gold, darker than butterscotch, but with the same warm tone. I didn't understand how that could be, unless she was lying for some reason about the contacts. Or maybe Forks was making me crazy in the literal sense of the word.

I looked down. Her hands were clenched into hard fists again.

Mrs. Banner came to our table then, to see why we weren't working. She looked over our shoulders to glance at the completed lab, and then stared more intently to check the answers.

"So, Edyth, didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?" Mrs. Banner asked.

"Bella," Edyth corrected automatically. "Actually, she identified three of the five."

Mrs. Banner looked at me now; her expression was skeptical.

"Have you done this lab before?" she asked.

I smiled sheepishly. "Not with onion root."

"Whitefish blastula?"

"Yeah."

Mrs. Banner nodded. "Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"Yes."

"Well," she said after a moment, "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." She mumbled something else as she walked away. After she left, I began doodling on my notebook again.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" Edyth asked. I had the feeling that she was forcing herself to make small talk with me. Paranoia swept over me again. It was like she had heard my conversation with Jeremy at lunch and was trying to prove me wrong. Which was impossible. I really was becoming paranoid.

"Not really," I answered honestly, instead of pretending to be normal like everyone else. I was still trying to dislodge the stupid feeling of suspicion, and I couldn't concentrate.

"You don't like the cold." It wasn't a question.

"Or the wet."

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live," she mused.

"You have no idea," I muttered darkly.

She looked fascinated by what I said, for some reason I couldn't imagine. Her face was such a distraction that I tried not to look at it any more than courtesy absolutely demanded.

"Why did you come here, then?"

No one had asked me that— not straight out like she did, demanding.

"It's… complicated."

"I think I can keep up," she pressed.

I paused for a long moment, and then made the mistake of meeting her gaze. Her dark gold eyes confused me, and I answered without thinking.

"My mother got remarried," I said.

"That doesn't sound so complex," she disagreed, but she was suddenly sympathetic. "When did that happen?"

"Last September." My voice sounded sad, even to me.

"And you don't like him," Edyth surmised, her tone still kind.

"No, Phil is fine. Too young, maybe, but nice enough."

"Why didn't you stay with them?"

I couldn't understand her interest, but she continued to stare at me with penetrating eyes, as if my dull life's story was somehow vitally important.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." I half-smiled.

"Have I heard of him?" she asked, smiling in response.

"Probably not. He doesn't playwell. Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him." She said it as an assumption again, not a question.

I straightened my shoulders automatically. "No, she didn't send me here. I sent myself."

Her eyebrows knit together. "I don't understand," she admitted, and she seemed unnecessarily frustrated by that fact.

I sighed. Why was I explaining this to her? She continued to stare at me with obvious curiosity.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him. It made her unhappy… so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie." My voice was glum by the time I finished.

"But now you're unhappy," she pointed out.

"And?" I challenged.

"That doesn't seem fair." She shrugged, but her eyes were still intense.

I laughed once. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

"I believe Ihaveheard that somewhere before," she agreed dryly.

"So that's all," I insisted, wondering why she was still staring at me that way.

Her gaze became appraising, she tilted her head slightly to the side.

"You put on a good show," she said slowly. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."

I shrugged.

"Am I wrong?"

"Why does it matter?"

"I don't entirely understand you, that's all." she raised an eyebrow at me.

"Why would you want to?" I asked, frowning.

"That's a very good question," she muttered, so quietly that I wondered if she was talking to herself.

However, after a few seconds of silence, I decided that was the only answer I was going to get.

I sighed, staring at the blackboard.

"Am I annoying you?" she asked. She sounded amused.

I glanced at her without thinking… and told the truth again. "Not exactly. I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read— my mother always calls me her open book." I shrugged.

"On the contrary, I find you very difficult to read." Despite everything that I'd said and she'd guessed, she sounded like she meant it.

"You must be a good reader then," I replied.

"Usually." She smiled widely, flashing a set of perfect, ultra-white teeth.

Mrs. Banner called the class to order then, and I turned with relief to listen. I was in disbelief that I'd just explained my dreary life to this bizarre, beautiful girl who may or may not despise me. She'd seemed engrossed in our conversation, but now I could see, from the corner of my eye, that she was leaning away from me again, her hands gripping the edge of the table with unmistakable tension.

I tried to appear attentive as Mrs. Banner illustrated, with transparencies on the overhead projector, what I had seen without difficulty through the microscope. But my thoughts were far away from the lecture.

When the bell finally rang, Edyth rushed as swiftly and as gracefully from the room as she had last Monday. And, like last Monday, I stared after her with my jaw hanging slightly open.

Makayla rushed to my table almost as quickly. I imagined her with a wagging tail.

"That was awful," she groaned. "They all looked exactly the same. You're lucky you had Cullen for a partner."

"I didn't have any trouble with it," I said, stung by her assumption. I regretted the snub instantly. "I've done the lab before, though," I added before she could get her feelings hurt.

"Cullen seemed friendly enough today," she commented as we shrugged into our raincoats. She didn't seem pleased about it.

I tried to sound indifferent. "I wonder what was with her last Monday."

I couldn't concentrate on Makayla's chatter as we walked to Gym, and P.E. didn't do much to hold my attention, either. Makayla was on my team today. She helpfully covered my position as well as her own, so I only had to pay attention when it was my turn to serve; my team ducked warily out of the way every time I was up.

The rain was just a mist as I walked to the parking lot, but I was happier when I was in the dry cab. I got the heater running, for once not caring about the mind-numbing roar of the engine. I unzipped my jacket, put the hood down, and ran my fingers through my damp hair.

I looked around me to make sure it was clear. That's when I noticed the still, white figure. Edyth Cullen was leaning against the front door of the Volvo, three cars down from me, and staring intently in my direction. I swiftly looked away and threw the truck into reverse, almost hitting a rusty Toyota Corolla in my haste. Lucky for the Toyota, I stomped on the brake in time. It was just the sort of car that my truck would make scrap metal of. I took a deep breath, still looking out the other side of my car, and cautiously pulled out again, with greater success. I stared straight ahead as I passed the Volvo, but from a peripheral peek, I could swear I saw her laughing

 **ok guys thanks for reading please continue to review it motivates me also the further in i get Bella's personality will be a little bit different and in the other two books she will think more about her decision and yes i am planning to do breaking dawn but sorry there will be no baby. anyway please review**


	4. open book Edyth pov

I leaned back against the soft snow bank, letting the dry powder reshape itself around my weight. My skin cooled to match the air around me, and the tiny pieces of ice felt like velvet under my skin.

The sky above me was clear, brilliant with stars, glowing blue in some places, yellow in others. The stars created majestic, swirling shapes against the black universe—an astounding sight. Exquisitely beautiful. Or rather, it should have been exquisite. Would have been, if I'd been able to really see it.

It wasn't getting any better. Six days had passed, six days I'd hidden here in the empty Denali wilderness, but I was no closer to freedom than I had been since the first moment that I'd caught herscent.

When I stared up at the jeweled sky, it was as if there were an obstruction between my eyes and their beauty. The obstruction was a face, an ordinary human face, but I couldn't quite seem to banish it from my mind.

I heard the approaching thoughts before I heard the footsteps that accompanied them. The sound of movement was only a faint whisper against the powder.

I was not surprised that Taras had followed me here. I knew he'd been mulling over this coming conversation for the last few days, putting it off until he was sure of exactly what he wanted to say.

He sprang into sight about sixty yards away, leaping onto the tip of an outcropping of black rock and balancing there on the balls of his bare feet.

Taras's skin was silver in the starlight, and his long blond hair shone pale, almost pink with its strawberry tint. His amber eyes glinted as he spied me, half- buried in the snow, and his full lips stretched slowly into a smile.

Exquisite.IfI'd really been able to see him. I sighed.

He crouched down on the point of the stone, his fingertips touching the rock, his body coiled.

Cannonball,he thought.

He launched himself into the air; his shape became a dark, twisting shadow as he spun gracefully between me and the stars. He curled himselfinto a ball just as he struck the piled snow bank beside me.

A blizzard of snow flew up around me. The stars went black and I was buried deep in the feathery ice crystals.

I sighed again, but didn't move to unearth myself. The blackness under the snow neither hurt nor improved the view. I still saw the same face.

"Edyth?"

Then snow was flying again as Taras swiftly disinterred me. He brushed the powder from my unmoving face, not quite meeting my eyes.

"Sorry," he murmured. "It was a joke."

"I know. It was funny."

His mouth twisted down.

"Ivan and Kate said I should leave you alone. They think I'm annoying you."

"Not at all," I assured him. "On the contrary, I'm the one who's being rude—abominably rude. I'm very sorry."

You're going home, aren't you?He thought.

"I haven't... entirely... decided that yet."

But you're not staying here.His thought was wistful now, sad.

"No. It doesn't seem to be... helping."

He grimaced. "That's my fault, isn't it?"

"Of course not," I lied smoothly.

Don't be nice.

I smiled.

I make you uncomfortable,he accused.

"No."

He raised one eyebrow, his expression so disbelieving that I had to laugh. One short laugh, followed by another sigh.

"All right," I admitted. "A little bit."

He sighed, too, and put his chin in his hands. His thoughts were chagrined.

"You're a thousand times lovelier than the stars, Taras. Of course, you're already well aware of that. Don't let my stubbornness undermine your confidence." I chuckled at the unlikeliness ofthat.

"I'm not used to rejection," he grumbled, his lower lip pushing out into an attractive pout.

"Certainly not," I agreed, trying with little success to block out his thoughts as he fleetingly sifted through memories of his thousands of successful conquests. Mostly Taras preferred human men or women—they were much more populous for one thing, with the added advantage of being soft and warm. And always eager, definitely.

"Incubus," I teased, hoping to interrupt the images flickering in his head.

He grinned, flashing his teeth. "The original."

Unlike Carlisle, Taras and his siblings had discovered their consciences slowly. In the end, it was their fondness for human men that turned them against the slaughter. Now the men they loved...lived.

"When you showed up here," Taras said slowly. "I thought that..."

I'd known what he'd thought. And I should have guessed that he would have felt that way. But I hadn't been at my best for analytical thinking in that moment.

"You thought that I'd changed my mind."

"Yes." He scowled.

"I feel horrible for toying with your expectations, Taras. I didn't mean to—I wasn't thinking. It's just that I left in...quite a hurry."

"I don't suppose you'd tell me why...?"

I sat up and wrapped my arms around my legs, curling defensively. "I don't want to talk about it."

Taras, Ivan and Kate were very good at this life they'd committed to. Better, in some ways, than even Carlisle. Despite the insanely close proximity they allowed themselves with those who should be—and once were—their prey, they did not make mistakes. I was too ashamed to admit my weakness to Taras.

"love troubles?" he guessed, ignoring my reluctance.

I laughed a bleak laugh. "Not the way you mean it."

He was quiet then. I listened to his thoughts as he ran through different guesses, tried to decipher the meaning of my words.

"You're not even close," I told him.

"One hint?" he asked.

"Please let it go, Taras."

He was quiet again, still speculating. I ignored him, trying in vain to appreciate the stars.

He gave up after a silent moment, and his thoughts pursued a new direction.

Where will you go, Edyth, if you leave? Back to Carlisle?

"I don't think so," I whispered.

Where would I go? I could not think of one place on the entire planet that held any interest for me. There was nothing I wanted to see or do. Because, no matter where I went, I would not be goingtoanywhere—I would only be runningfrom.

I hated that. When had I become such a coward?

Taras threw his leanly muscled arm around my shoulders. I stiffened, but did not flinch out from under his touch. He meant it as nothing more than friendly comfort. Mostly.

"I think that youwillgo back," He said, his voice taking on just a hint of his long lost Russian accent. "No matter what it is... or who it is... that is haunting you. You'll face it head on. You're the type."

His thoughts were as certain as his words. I tried to embrace the vision of myself that he carried in his head. The one who faced things head on. It was pleasant to think of myself that way again. I'd never doubted my courage, my ability to face difficulty, before that horrible hour in a high school biology class such a short time ago.

I kissed his cheek, pulling back swiftly when he twisted his face toward mine, his lips already puckered. He smiled ruefully at my quickness.

"Thank you, Taras. I needed to hear that."

His thoughts turned petulant. "You're welcome, I guess. I wish you would be more reasonable about things, Edyth."

"I'm sorry, Taras. You know you're too good for me. I just... haven't found what I'm looking for yet."

"Well, if you leave before I see you again... goodbye, Edyth."

"Goodbye, Taras." As I said the words, I could see it. I could see myself leaving. Being strong enough to go back to the one place where I wanted to be. "Thanks again."

He was on his feet in one nimble move, and then he was running away, ghosting across the snow so quickly that his feet had no time to sink into the snow; he left no prints behind him. He didn't look back. My rejection bothered him more than he'd let on before, even in his thoughts. He wouldn't want to see me again before I left.

My mouth twisted with chagrin. I didn't like hurting Taras, though his feelings were not deep, hardly pure, and, in any case, not something I could return. It still made me feel less than a nice person.

I put my chin on my knees and stared up at the stars again, though I was suddenly anxious to be on my way. I knew that Alice would see me coming home, that she would tell the others. This would make them happy—Carlisle and Esme especially. But I gazed at the stars for one more moment, trying to see past the face in my head. Between me and the brilliant lights in the sky, a pair of bewildered silver-blue eyes stared back at me, seeming to ask what this decision would mean forher. Of course, I couldn't be sure if that was really the information her curious eyes sought. Even in my imagination, I couldn't hear her thoughts. Bella Swan's eyes continued to question, and an unobstructed view of the stars continued to elude me. With a heavy sigh, I gave up, and got to my feet. If I ran, I would be back to Carlisle's car in less than an hour...

In a hurry to see my family—and wanting very much to be the Edyth that faced things head on—I raced across the starlit snowfield, leaving no footprints.

"It's going to be okay," Alice breathed. Her eyes were unfocused, and Jasper had one hand lightly under her elbow, guiding her forward as we walked into the rundown cafeteria in a close group. Royal and Emmett led the way, Emmett looking ridiculously like a bodyguard in the middle of hostile territory. Roy looked wary, too, but much more irritated than protective.

"Of course it is," I grumbled. Their behavior was ludicrous. If I wasn't positive that I could handle this moment, I would have stayed home.

The sudden shift from our normal, even playful morning—it had snowed in the night, and Emmett and Jasper were not above taking advantage of my distraction to bombard me with slushballs; when they got bored with my lack of response, they'd turned on each other—to this overdone vigilance would have been comical if it weren't so irritating.

"She's not here yet, but the way she's going to come in... she won't be downwind if we sit in our regular spot."

"Of coursewe'll sit in our regular spot. Stop it, Alice. You're getting on my nerves. I'll be absolutely fine."

She blinked once as Jasper helped her into her seat, and her eyes finally focused on my face.

"Hmm," she said, sounding surprised. "I think you're right."

"Of courseI am," I muttered.

I hated being the focus of their concern. I felt a sudden sympathy for Jasper, remembering all the times we'd hovered protectively over him. He met my glance briefly, and grinned.

Annoying, isn't it?

I grimaced at him.

Was it just last week that this long, drab room had seemed so killingly dull to me? That it had seemed almost like sleep, like a coma, to be here?

Today my nerves were stretched tight—piano wires, tensed to sing at the lightest pressure. My senses were hyper-alert; I scanned every sound, every sight, every movement of the air that touched my skin, every thought. Especially the thoughts. There was only one sense that I kept locked down, refused to use. Smell, of course. I didn't breathe.

I was expecting to hear more about the Cullens in the thoughts that I sifted through. All day I'd been waiting, searching for whichever new acquaintance Bella Swan might have confided in, trying to see the direction the new gossip would take. But there was nothing. No one noticed the five vampires in the cafeteria, just the same as before the new girl had come. Several of the humans here were still thinking of that girl, still thinking the same thoughts from last week. Instead of finding this unutterably boring, I was now fascinated.

Had she said nothing to anyone about me?

There was no way that she had not noticed my black, murderous glare. I had seen her react to it. Surely, I'd scared her silly. I had been convinced that she would have mentioned it to someone, maybe even exaggerated the story a bit to make it better. Given me a few menacing lines.

And then, she'd also heard me trying to get out of our shared biology class. She must have wondered, after seeing my expression, whether she was the cause. A normal girl would have asked around, compared her experience to others, looked for common ground that would explain my behavior so she didn't feel singled out. Humans were constantly desperate to feel normal, to fit in. To blend in with everyone else around them, like a featureless flock of sheep. The need was particularly strong during the insecure adolescent years. This girl would be no exception to that rule.

But no one at all took any notice of us sitting here, at our normal table. Bella must be exceptionally shy, if she'd confided in no one. Perhaps she had spoken to her father, maybe that was the strongest relationship... though that seemed unlikely, given the fact that she had spent so little time with him throughout her life. She would be closer to her mother. Still, I would have to pass by Chief Swan sometime soon and listen to what he was thinking.

"Anything new?" Jasper asked.

"Nothing. She... must not have said anything."

All of them raised an eyebrow at this news.

"Maybe you're not as scary as you think you are," Emmett said, chuckling. "I bet I could have frightened her better thanthat." I rolled my eyes at him.

"Wonder why...?" He puzzled again over my revelation about the girl's unique silence.

"We've been over that. I don'tknow."

"She's coming in," Alice murmured then. I felt my body go rigid. "Try to look human."

"Human, you say?" Emmett asked.

He held up his right fist, twisting his fingers to reveal the snowball he'd saved in his palm. Of course it had not melted there. He'd squeezed it into a lumpy block of ice. He had his eyes on Jasper, but I saw the direction of his thoughts. So did Alice, of course. When he abruptly hurled the ice chunk at her, she flicked it away with a casual flutter of her fingers. The ice ricocheted across the length of the cafeteria, too fast to be visible to human eyes, and shattered with a sharp crack against the brick wall. The brick cracked, too.

The heads in that corner of the room all turned to stare at the pile of broken ice on the floor, and then swiveled to find the culprit. They didn't look further than a few tables away. No one looked at us.

"Very human, Emmett," Royal said scathingly. "Why don't you punch through the wall while you're at it?"

"It would look more impressive if you did it, baby."

I tried to pay attention to them, keeping a grin fixed on my face like I was part of their banter. I did not allow myself to look toward the line where I knew she was standing. But that was all that I was listening to.

I could hear Jeremy's conversation with the new girl, who seemed to be distracted, too, standing motionless in the moving line. I saw, in Jeremy's thoughts, that Bella Swan's cheeks were once more colored bright pink with blood.

I pulled in short, shallow breaths, ready to quit breathing if any hint of her scent touched the air near me.

Makayla Newton was with Jeremy and Bella. I heard both her voices, mental and verbal, when she asked Jeremy what was wrong with the Swan girl. I didn't like the way Makayla's thoughts wrapped around Bella, the flicker of already established fantasies that clouded her mind while she watched Bella start and look up from her reverie like she'd forgotten Makayla was there.

"Nothing," I heard Bella say in that quiet, clear voice. It seemed to ring like a bell over the babble in the cafeteria, but I knew that was just because I was listening for it so intently.

"I'll just get a soda today," she continued as she moved to catch up with the line.

I couldn't help flickering one glance in her direction. She was staring at the floor, the blood slowly fading from her face. I looked away quickly, to Emmett, who laughed at the now pained-looking smile on my face.

You look sick, sis.

I rearranged my features so the expression would seem casual and effortless.

Jeremy was wondering aloud about the girl's lack of appetite. "Aren't you hungry?"

"Actually, I feel a little sick." Her voice was lower, but still very clear.

Why did it bother me, the protective concern that suddenly emanated from Makayla Newton's thoughts? What did it matter that there was a possessive edge to them? It wasn't my business if Makayla Newton felt unnecessarily anxious for Bella. Perhaps this was the way everyone responded to her. Hadn't I wanted, instinctively, to protect her, too? Before I'd wanted to kill her, that is...

ButwasBella ill?

It was hard to judge—she looked so delicate with her ivory skin... Then I realized that I was worrying, too, just like that dimwitted Makayla Newton, and I forced myself not to think about Bella's health.

Regardless, I didn't like monitoring her through Makayla's thoughts. I switched to Jeremy's, watching carefully as the three of them chose which table to sit at. Fortunately, they sat with Jeremy's usual companions, at one of the first tables in the room. Not downwind, just as Alice had promised.

Alice elbowed me.She's going to look soon, act human.

I clenched my teeth behind my grin.

"Ease up, Edy," Emmett said. "Honestly. So you kill one human. That's hardly the end of the world."

"You would know," I murmured.

Emmett laughed. "You've got to learn to get over things. Like I do. Eternity is a long time to wallow in guilt."

Just then, Alice tossed a smaller handful of ice that she'd been hiding into Emmett's unsuspecting face.

He blinked, surprised, and then grinned in anticipation.

"You asked for it," he said as he leaned across the table and shook his ice- encrusted hair in her direction. The snow, melting in the warm room, flew out from his hair in a thick shower of half-liquid, half-ice.

"Oh, come on!" Roy complained, as he and Alice recoiled from the deluge.

Alice laughed, and we all joined in. I could see in Alice's head how she'd orchestrated this perfect moment, and I knew that the girl—I should stop thinking of her that way, as if she were the only girl in the world—thatBellawould be watching us laugh and play, looking as happy and human and unrealistically ideal as a Norman Rockwell painting.

Alice kept laughing, and held her tray up as a shield. The girl—Bella must still be staring at us.

...staring at the Cullens again, I can't blame her,someone thought, catching my attention.

I looked automatically toward the unintentional call, realizing as my eyes found their destination that I recognized the voice—I'd been listening to it so much today.

But my eyes slid right past Jeremy, and focused on Bella's penetrating gaze. She looked away quickly, shifting her shoulders in Jeremy's direction.

What was she thinking? The frustration seemed to be getting more acute as time went on, rather than dulling. I tried—uncertain in what I was doing for I'd never tried this before—to probe with my mind at the silence around her. My extra hearing had always come to me naturally, without asking; I'd never had to work at it. But I concentrated now, trying to break through whatever shield surrounded her.

Nothing but silence.

Bellas certainly seemed to catch Edyth's attentionJeremy thought, almost giddy at the thought.

"Edyth Cullen is staring at you," he whispered in the Swan girl's ear, giggling. There was excitement evident in his voice, like he actually thought my attention was agoodthing. Laughable.

I listened, too engrossed, to Bella's response.

"She doesn't look angry, does she?" she whispered back.

So shehadnoticed my wild reaction last week. Of course she had.

The question confused Jeremy. I saw my own face in his thoughts as he checked my expression, but I did not meet his glance. I was still concentrating on Bella, trying to hearsomething. My intent focus didn't seem to be helping at all.

"No," Jeremy told her, his internal confusion present in his voice. "Should she be?"

"I don't think she likes me," Bella whispered back, she shifted uncomfortably. I wondered why. Maybe shedid feel sick.

"The Cullens don't like anybody," Jeremy reassured her. "Well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them."They never used to.His thought full of amusement. "But she's still staring at you."

"Stop looking at her," Bella said insistently.

Jeremy snickered, but did as he was asked.

Bella did not look away from her table for the rest of the hour. I thought— though, of course, I could not be sure—that this was deliberate. It seemed like she wanted to look at me. Her body would shift slightly in my direction, her chin would begin to turn, and then she would catch herself, take a deep breath, and stare fixedly at whoever was speaking.

I ignored the other thoughts around Bella for the most part, as they were not, momentarily, about her. Makayla Newton was planning a snow fight in the parking lot after school, not seeming to realize that the snow had already shifted to rain. The flutter of soft flakes against the roof had become the more common patter of raindrops. Could she really not hear the change? It seemed loud to me.

When the lunch period ended, I stayed in my seat. The humans filed out, and I caught myself trying to distinguish the sound of her footsteps from the sound of the rest, as if there was something important or unusual about them. How stupid.

My family made no move to leave, either. They waited to see what I would do.

Would I go to class, sit beside the girl where I could smell the absurdly potent scent of her blood and feel the warmth of her pulse in the air on my skin? Was I strong enough for that? Or had I had enough for one day?

"I...thinkit's okay," Alice said, hesitant. "Your mind is set. Ithinkyou'll make it through the hour."

But Alice knew well how quickly a mind could change.

"Why push it, Edyth?" Jasper asked. Though he didn't want to feel smug that I was the one who was weak now, I could hear that he did, just a little. "Go home. Take it slow."

"What's the big deal?" Emmett disagreed. "Either she will or she won't kill the kid. Might as well get it over with, either way."

"I don't want to move yet," Royal complained. "I don't want to start over. We're almost out of high school, Emmett.Finally."

I was evenly torn on the decision. I wanted, wanted badly, to face this head on rather than running away again. But I didn't want to push myself too far, either. It had been a mistake last week for Jasper to go so long without hunting; was this just as pointless a mistake?

I didn't want to uproot my family. None of them would thank me for that.

But I wanted to go to my biology class. I realized that I wanted to see Bella's face again.

That's what decided it for me. That curiosity. I was angry with myself for feeling it. Hadn't I promised myself that I wouldn't let the silence of the girl's mind make me unduly interested in her? And yet, here I was, most unduly interested.

I wanted to know what she was thinking. Her mind was closed, but her eyes were very open. Perhaps I could read them instead.

"No, Roy, I think it really will be okay," Alice said. "It's...firming up. I'm ninety-three percent sure that nothing bad will happen if she goes to class." She looked at me inquisitively, wondering what had changed in my thoughts that made her vision of the future more secure.

Would curiosity be enough to keep Bella Swan alive?

Emmett was right, though—why not get it over with, either way? I would face the temptation head on.

"Go to class," I ordered, pushing away from the table. I turned and strode away from them without looking back. I could hear Alice's worry, Jasper's censure, Emmett's approval, and Royal's irritation trailing after me.

I took one last deep breath at the door of the classroom, and then held it in my lungs as I walked into the small, warm space.

I was not late. Mrs. Banner was still setting up for today's lab. The girl sat at my—atourtable, her face down again, staring at the folder she was doodling on. I examined the sketch as I approached, interested in even this trivial creation of her mind, but it was meaningless. Just a random scribbling of loops within loops. Perhaps she was not concentrating on the pattern, but thinking of something else?

I pulled my chair back with unnecessary roughness, letting it scrape across the linoleum; humans always felt more comfortable when noise announced someone's approach.

I knew she heard the sound; she did not look up, but her hand missed a loop in the design she was drawing, making it unbalanced.

Why didn't she look up? Probably she was frightened. I must be sure to leave her with a different impression this time. Make her think she'd been imagining things before.

"Hello," I said in the quiet voice I used when I wanted to make humans more comfortable, forming a polite smile with my lips that would not show any teeth.

She looked up then, her wide blue eyes startled—almost bewildered—and full of silent questions. It was the same expression that had been obstructing my vision for the last week.

As I stared into those oddly warm blue eyes, I realized that the hate—the hate I'd imagined this girl somehow deserved for simply existing—had evaporated. Not breathing now, not tasting her scent, it was hard to believe that anyone so vulnerable could ever justify hatred.

Her cheeks began to flush, and she said nothing.

I kept my eyes on hers, focusing only on their questioning depths, and tried to ignore the appetizing color of her skin. I had enough breath to speak for a while longer without inhaling.

"My name is Edyth Cullen," I said, though I knew she knew that. It was the polite way to begin. "I didn't have a chance to introduce myself last week. You must be Bella Swan."

She seemed confused—there was that little pucker between her eyes again. It took her half a second longer than it should have for her to respond.

"H-How do you know my name?" she demanded, and her voice shook just a little.

I must have truly terrified her. This made me feel guilty; she was just so defenseless. I laughed gently—it was a sound that I knew made humans more at ease. Again, I was careful about my teeth.

"Oh, I think everyone knows your name." Surely she must have realized that she'd become the center of attention in this monotonous place. "The whole town's been waiting for you to arrive."

She grimaced as if this information was unpleasant. I supposed, being shy as she seemed to be, attention would seem like a bad thing to her. Most humans felt the opposite. Though they didn't want to stand out from the herd, at the same time they craved a spotlight for their individual uniformity.

"No," she said. "I meant, why did you call me Bella?"

"Do you prefer Isabella?" I asked, perplexed by the fact that I couldn't see where this question was leading. I didn't understand. Surely, she'd made her preference clear many times that first day. Were all humans this incomprehensible without the mental context as a guide?

"No, I like Bella," she answered, leaning her head slightly to one side. Her expression—if I was reading it correctly—was torn between embarrassment and confusion. "But I think Charlie—I mean my dad—must call me Isabella behind my back. That's what everyone here seems to know me as." Her skin darkened one shade pinker.

"Oh," I said lamely, and quickly looked away from her face.

I'd just realized what her questions meant: I had slipped up—made an error. If I hadn't been eavesdropping on all the others that first day, then I would have addressed her initially by her full name, just like everyone else. She'd noticed the difference.

I felt a pang of unease. It was very quick of her to pick up on my slip. Quite astute, especially for someone who was supposed to be terrified by my nearness.

But I had bigger problems than whatever suspicions about me she might be keeping locked inside her head.

I was out of air. If I were going to speak to her again, I would have to inhale.

It would be hard to avoid speaking. Unfortunately for her, sharing this table made her my lab partner, and we would have to work together today. It would seem odd—and incomprehensibly rude—for me to ignore her while we did the lab. It would make her more suspicious, more afraid...

I leaned as far away from her as I could without moving my seat, twisting my head out into the aisle. I braced myself, locking my muscles in place, and then sucked in one quick chest-full of air, breathing through my mouth alone.

Ahh!

It was genuinely painful. Even without smelling her, I could taste her on my tongue. My throat was suddenly in flames again, the craving every bit as strong as that first moment I'd caught her scent last week.

I gritted my teeth together and tried to compose myself.

"Get started," Mrs. Banner commanded.

It felt like it took every single ounce of self-control that I'd achieved in ninety years of hard work to turn back to the girl, who was staring down at the table, and smile. "After you, partner?" I offered.

She looked up at my expression and her face went blank, her eyes wide. Was there something off in my expression? Was she frightened again? She didn't speak. "Or, I could start, if you wish," I said quietly.

"No," she said, and her face went from white to red again. "I'll go ahead."

I stared at the equipment on the table, the battered microscope, the box of slides, rather than watch the blood swirl under her skin—her beautiful skin. I took another quick breath, through my teeth, and winced as the taste made my throat ache.

"Prophase," she said after a quick examination. She started to remove the slide, though she'd barely examined it.

"Do you mind if I look?" Instinctively—stupidly, as if I were one of her kind—I reached out to stop her hand from removing the slide. For one second, the heat of her skin burned into mine. It was like an electric pulse—surely much hotter than a mere ninety-eight point six degrees. The heat shot through my hand and up my arm. She yanked her hand out from under mine.

"I'm sorry," I muttered through my clenched teeth. Needing somewhere to look, I grasped the microscope and stared briefly into the eyepiece. She was right.

"Prophase," I agreed.

I was still too unsettled to look at her. Breathing as quietly as I could through my gritted teeth and trying to ignore the fiery thirst, I concentrated on the simple assignment, writing the word on the appropriate line on the lab sheet, and then switching out the first slide for the next.

What was she thinking now? What had that felt like to her, when I had touched her hand? My skin must have been ice cold—repulsive. No wonder she was so quiet.

I glanced at the slide.

"Anaphase," I said to myself as I wrote it on the second line.

"Mind if I looked?" she asked.

I looked up at her, surprised to see that she was waiting expectantly, one hand half-stretched toward the microscope. She didn'tlookafraid. Did she really think I'd gotten the answer wrong?

I couldn't help but smile at the hopeful look on her face as I slid the microscope toward her.

She stared into the eyepiece with an eagerness that quickly faded. The corners of her mouth turned down.

"Slide three?" she asked, not looking up from the microscope, but holding out her hand. I dropped the next slide into her hand, not letting my skin come anywhere close to hers this time. Sitting beside her was like sitting next to a heat lamp. I could feel myself warming slightly to the higher temperature.

She did not look at the slide for long. "Interphase," she said nonchalantly— perhaps trying a little too hard to sound that way—and pushed the microscope to me. She did not touch the paper, but waited for me to write the answer. I checked—she was correct again.

We finished this way, speaking one word at a time and never meeting each other's eyes. We were the only ones done—the others in the class were having a harder time with the lab. Makayla Newton seemed to be having trouble concentrating—she was trying to watch Bella and me.

Wish she'd stayed wherever she went,Makayla thought, eyeing me sulfurously. Hmm, interesting. I hadn't realized the girl harbored any ill will towards me. This was a new development, about as recent as Bella's arrival it seemed. Even more interesting, I found—to my surprise—that the feeling was mutual.

I looked down at Bella again, bemused by the wide range of havoc and upheaval that, despite her gentle, unthreatening appearance, she was wreaking on my life.

It wasn't that I couldn't see what Makayla was going on about. She was actually rather attractive... in an unusual way. Better than being beautiful, her face wasinteresting. Not quite symmetrical—her chin out of balance with her wide cheekbones, but complimenting her jaw; extreme in the coloring—the light and dark contrast of her skin and her hair; and then there were those beautiful eyes, brimming over with silent secrets...

Eyes that were suddenly boring into mine.

I stared back at her, trying to guess even one of those secrets.

"Did you get contacts?" she asked abruptly.

What a strange question. "No." I almost smiled at the idea of improvingmyeyesight.

"Oh," she mumbled. "I thought there was something different about your eyes."

I felt suddenly colder again as I realized that I was apparently not the only one attempting to ferret out secrets today.

I shrugged, my shoulders stiff, and glared straight ahead to where the teacher was making her rounds.

Of course there was something different about my eyes since the last time she'd stared into them. To prepare myself for today's ordeal, today's temptation, I'd spent the entire weekend hunting, satiating my thirst as much as possible, overdoing it really. I'd glutted myself on the blood of animals, not that it made much difference in the face of the outrageous flavor floating on the air around her. When I'd glared at her last, my eyes had been black with thirst. Now, my body swimming with blood, my eyes were a warmer gold. Light amber from my excessive attempt at thirst-quenching.

Another slip. If I'd seen what she'd meant with her question, I could have just told her yes.

I'd sat beside humans for two years now at this school, and she was the first to examine me closely enough to note the change in my eye color. The others, while admiring the beauty of my family, tended to look down quickly when we returned their stares. They shied away, blocking the details of our appearances in an instinctive endeavor to keep themselves from understanding. Ignorance was bliss to the human mind.

Why did it have to be this girl who would see too much?

Mrs. Banner approached our table. I gratefully inhaled the gush of clean air she brought with her before it could mix with her scent.

"So, Edyth," she said, looking over our answers, "didn't you think Isabella should get a chance with the microscope?"

"Bella," I corrected her reflexively. "Actually, she identified three of the five."

Mrs. Banner's thoughts were skeptical as she turned to look at the girl. "Have you done this lab before?"

I watched, engrossed, as she smiled, looking slightly embarrassed. "Not with onion root."

"Whitefish blastula?" Mrs. Banner probed.

"Yeah."

This surprised her. Today's lab was something she'd pulled from a more advanced course. She nodded thoughtfully at the girl. "Were you in an advanced placement program in Phoenix?"

"Yes."

She was advanced then, intelligent for a human. This did not surprise me.

"Well," Mrs. Banner said, pursing her lips. "I guess it's good you two are lab partners." She turned and walked away mumbling, "So the other kids can get a chance to learn something for themselves," under her breath. I doubted the girl could hear that. She began scrawling loops across her folder again.

Two slips so far in one half hour. A very poor showing on my part. Though I had no idea at all what the girl thought of me—how much did she fear, how much did she suspect?—I knew I needed to put forth a better effort to leave her with a new impression of me. Something to better drown her memories of our ferocious last encounter.

"It's too bad about the snow, isn't it?" I said, repeating the small talk that I'd heard a dozen students discuss already. A boring, standard topic of conversation. The weather—always safe.

She stared at me with obvious doubt in her eyes—an abnormal reaction to my very normal words. "Not really," she said, surprising me again.

I tried to steer the conversation back to trite paths. She was from a much brighter, warmer place—her skin seemed to reflect that somehow, despite its fairness—and the cold must make her uncomfortable. My icy touch certainly had...

"You don't like the cold," I guessed.

"Or the wet," she agreed.

"Forks must be a difficult place for you to live."Perhaps you should not have come here,I wanted to add.Perhaps you should go back where you belong.

I wasn't sure I wanted that, though. I would always remember the scent of her blood—was there any guarantee that I wouldn't eventually follow after her? Besides, if she left, her mind would forever remain a mystery. A constant, nagging puzzle.

"You have no idea," she said in a low voice, glowering past me for a moment.

Her answers were never what I expected. They made me want to ask more questions.

"Why did you come here, then?" I demanded, realizing instantly that my tone was too accusatory, not casual enough for the conversation. The question sounded rude, prying.

"It's... complicated."

She blinked her wide eyes, leaving it at that, and I nearly imploded out of curiosity—the curiosity burned as hot as the thirst in my throat. Actually, I found that it was getting slightly easier to breathe; the agony was becoming more bearable through familiarity.

"I think I can keep up," I insisted. Perhaps common courtesy would keep her answering my questions as long as I was rude enough to ask them.

She stared down silently at her hands. This made me impatient; I wanted to gently put my hand under her chin and tilt her head up so that I could read her eyes. But it would be foolish of me—dangerous—to touch her skin again.

She looked up suddenly. It was a relief to be able to see the emotions in her eyes again. She spoke in a rush, hurrying through the words.

"My mother got remarried."

Ah, this was human enough, easy to understand. Sadness passed through her clear eyes and brought the pucker back between them.

"That doesn't sound so complex," I said. My voice was gentle without my working to make it that way. her sadness left me feeling oddly helpless, wishing there was something I could do to make her feel better. A strange impulse. "When did that happen?"

"Last September." She exhaled heavily—not quite a sigh. I held my breath as her warm breath brushed my face.

"And you don't like him," I guessed, fishing for more information.

"No, Phil is fine," she said, correcting my assumption. There was a hint of a smile now around the corners of her full lips. "Too young, maybe, but nice enough."

This didn't fit with the scenario I'd been constructing in my head.

"Why didn't you stay with them?" I asked, my voice a little too curious. It sounded like I was being nosy. Which I was, admittedly.

"Phil travels a lot. He plays ball for a living." The little smile grew more pronounced; this career choice amused her

I smiled, too, without choosing to. I wasn't trying to make her feel at ease. Her smile just made me want to smile in response—to be in on the secret.

"Have I heard of him?" I ran through the rosters of professional ball players in my head, wondering which Phil was hers...

"Probably not. He doesn't playwell." Another smile. "Strictly minor league. He moves around a lot."

The rosters in my head shifted instantly, and I'd tabulated a list of possibilities in less than a second. At the same time, I was imagining the new scenario.

"And your mother sent you here so that she could travel with him," I said. Making assumptions seemed to get more information out of her than questions did. It worked again her chin jutted out, and her expression was suddenly stubborn.

"No, she didn't send me here," she said, and her voice had a new, hard edge to it. My assumption had upset her, though I couldn't quite see how. "I sent myself."

I could not guess at her meaning, or the source behind her pique. I was entirely lost.

So I gave up. There was just no making sence of the girl. She wasn't like other humans. Maybe the silence of her thoughts and the perfume of her scent were not the only unusual things about her.

"I don't understand," I admitted, hating to concede.

She sighed, and stared into my eyes for longer than most normal humans were able to stand.

"She stayed with me at first, but she missed him," she explained slowly, her tone growing more forlorn with each word. "It made her unhappy... so I decided it was time to spend some quality time with Charlie."

The tiny pucker between her eyes deepened.

"But now you're unhappy," I murmured. I couldn't seem to stop speaking my hypotheses aloud, hoping to learn from her reactions. This one, however, did not seem as far off the mark.

"And?" she said, as if this was not even an aspect to be considered.

I continued to stare into her eyes, feeling that I'd finally gotten my first real glimpse into her soul. I saw in that one word where she ranked herselfamong her own priorities. Unlike most humans, her own needs were far down the list.

She was selfless.

As I saw this, the mystery of the person hiding inside this quiet mind began to thin a little.

"That doesn't seem fair," I said. I shrugged, trying to seem casual, trying to conceal the intensity of my curiosity.

She laughed, but there was no amusement the sound. "Hasn't anyone ever told you? Life isn't fair."

I wanted to laugh at her words, though I, too, felt no real amusement. I knew a little something about the unfairness of life. "I believe Ihaveheard that somewhere before."

She stared back at me, seeming confused again. Her eyes flickered away, and then came back to mine.

"So that's all," she told me.

But I was not ready to let this conversation end. The little V between her eyes, a remnant of her sorrow, bothered me. I wanted to smooth it away with my fingertip. But, of course, I could not touch her. It was unsafe in so many ways.

"You put on a good show." I spoke slowly, still considering this next hypothesis. "But I'd be willing to bet that you're suffering more than you let anyone see."

She made a face, her eyes narrowed. I hoped she would say something, instead she merely shrugged. She didn't like it when I guessed right. She wasn't the average martyr—she didn't want an audience to her pain.

"Am I wrong?"

"Why does it matter to you?" her blue eyes bore straight into mine.

The intensity—the braveness—of her gaze caught me off-guard. "I don't entirely understand you, that's all." I raised an eyebrow at her, more surprised by my own honest answer than anything.

She frowned, as if this perplexed her. "Why would you want to?"

"That's a very good question," I admitted, more to myself than to answer her. Her discernment was better than mine—she saw right to the core of things while I floundered around the edges, sifting blindly through clues. The details of her very human life shouldnotmatter to me. It was wrong for me to care what she thought. Beyond protecting my family from suspicion, human thoughts were not significant.

I was not used to being the less intuitive of any pairing. I relied on my extra hearing too much—I clearly was not as perceptive as I gave myself credit for.

Then she sighed and stared toward the front of the classroom. Something about her frustrated expression was humorous. The whole situation, the whole conversation was humorous. No one had ever been in more danger from me than this girl—at any moment I might, distracted by my ridiculous absorption in the conversation, inhale through my nose and attack her before I could stop myself—andshewas irritated because I hadn't answered her question.

"Am I annoying you?" I asked, smiling at the absurdity of it all.

She glanced at me quickly, and then her eyes seemed to get trapped by my gaze.

"Not exactly," she told me. "I'm more annoyed at myself. My face is so easy to read—my mother always calls me her open book." She shrugged again, disgruntled.

I stared at her in amazement. The reason she was upset was because she thought I saw through hertoo easily. How bizarre. I'd never expended so much effort to understand someone in all my life—or rather existence, aslifewas hardly the right word. I did not truly have alife.

"On the contrary," I disagreed, feeling strangely... wary, as if there were some hidden danger here that I was failing to see. I was suddenly on edge, the premonition making me anxious. "I find you very difficult to read."

"You must be a good reader then," she guessed, making her own assumption that was, again, right on the mark.

"Usually," I agreed.

I smiled at her widely then, letting my lips pull back to expose the rows of gleaming, razor sharp teeth behind them.

It was a stupid thing to do, but I was abruptly, unexpectedly desperate to get some kind of warning through to the girl. Her body was closer to me than before, having shifted unconsciously in the course of our conversation. All the little markers and signs that were sufficient to scare off the rest of humanity did not seem to be working on her. Why did she not cringe away from me in terror? Surely she had seen enough of my darker side to realize the danger, intuitive as she seemed to be.

I didn't get to see if my warning had the intended effect. Mrs. Banner called for the class's attention just then, and she turned away from me at once. She seemed a little relieved for the interruption, so maybe she understood unconsciously.

I hoped she did.

I recognized the fascination growing inside me, even as I tried to root it out. I could not afford to find Bella Swan interesting. Or rather,shecould not afford that. Already, I was anxious for another chance to talk to her. I wanted to know more about her mother, her life before she came here, her relationship with her father. All the meaningless details that would flesh out her character further. But every second I spent with her was a mistake, a risk she shouldn't have to take.

Absentmindedly, she ran her fingers through her thick hair just at the moment that I allowed myself another breath. A particularly concentrated wave of her scent hit the back of my throat.

It was like the first day—like the wrecking ball. The pain of the burning dryness made me dizzy. I had to grasp the table again to keep myself in my seat. This time I had slightly more control. I didn't break anything, at least. The monster growled inside me, but took no pleasure in my pain. He was too tightly bound. For the moment.

I stopped breathing altogether, and leaned as far from the girl as I could.

No, I could not afford to find her fascinating. The more interesting I found her, the more likely it was that I would kill her. I'd already made two minor slips today. Would I make a third, one that wasnotminor?

As soon as the bell sounded, I fled from the classroom—probably destroying whatever impression of politeness I'd halfway constructed in the course of the hour. Again, I gasped at the clean, wet air outside like it was a healing attar. I hurried to put as much distance between myself and the girl as was possible.

Emmett waited for me outside the door of our Spanish class. He read my wild expression for a moment.

How did it go?He wondered warily.

"Nobody died," I mumbled.

I guess that's something. When I saw Alice ditching there at the end, I thought...

As we walked into the classroom, I saw his memory from just a few moments ago, seen through the open door of his last class: Alice walking briskly and blank-faced across the grounds toward the science building. I felt his remembered urge to get up and join her, and then his decision to stay. If Alice needed his help, she would ask...

I closed my eyes in horror and disgust as I slumped into my seat. "I hadn't realized that it was that close. I didn't think I was going to...I didn't see that it was that bad," I whispered.

It wasn't,he reassured me.Nobody died, right?

"Right," I said through my teeth. "Not this time."

Maybe it will get easier.

"Sure."

Or, maybe you kill her.He shrugged.You wouldn't be the first one to mess up. No one would judge you too harshly. Sometimes a person just smells too good. I'm impressed you've lasted this long.

"Not helping, Emmett."

I was revolted by his acceptance of the idea that I would kill the girl, that this was somehow inevitable. Was it her fault that she smelled so good?

I know when it happened to me...,he reminisced, taking me back with him half a century, to a country lane at dusk, where a middle-aged women was taking her dried sheets down from a line strung between apple trees. The scent of apples hung heavy in the air—the harvest was over and the rejected fruits were scattered on the ground, the bruises in their skin leaking their fragrance out in thick clouds. A fresh-mowed field of hay was a background to that scent, a harmony. He walked up the lane, all but oblivious to the woman, on an errand for Royal. The sky was purple overhead, orange over the western trees. He would have continued up the meandering cart path and there would have been no reason to remember the evening, except that a sudden night breeze blew the white sheets out like sails and fanned the woman's scent across Emmett's face.

"Ah," I groaned quietly. As if my own remembered thirst was not enough.

I know. I didn't last half a second. I didn't even think about resisting.

His memory became far too explicit for me to stand.

I jumped to my feet, my teeth locked hard enough cut through steel.

"Esta bien, Edyth?" Mrs. Goff asked, startled by my sudden movement. I could see my face in her mind, and I knew that I looked far from well.

"Me perdona," I muttered, as I darted for the door.

"Emmett—por favor, puedas tu ayuda a tu hermano?" she asked, gesturing helplessly toward me as I rushed out of the room.

"Sure," I heard him say. And then he was right behind me.

He followed me to the far side of the building, where he caught up to me and put his hand on my shoulder.

I shoved his hand away with unnecessary force. It would have shattered the bones in a human hand, and the bones in the arm attached to it.

"Sorry, Edyth."

"I know." I drew in deep gasps of air, trying to clear my head and my lungs.

"Is it as bad as that?" he asked, trying not to think of the scent and the flavor of his memory as he asked, and not quite succeeding.

"Worse, Emmett, worse."

He was quiet for a moment.

Maybe...

"No, it would not be better if I got it over with. Go back to class, Emmett. I want to be alone."

He turned without another word or thought and walked quickly away. He would tell the Spanish teacher that I was sick, or ditching, or a dangerously out of control vampire. Did his excuse really matter? Maybe I wasn't coming back. Maybe I had to leave.

I went to my car again, to wait for school to end. To hide. Again.

I should have spent the time making decisions or trying to bolster my resolve, but, like an addict, I found myself searching through the babble of thoughts emanating from the school buildings. The familiar voices stood out, but I wasn't interested in listening to Alice's visions or Royal's complaints right now. I found Jeremy easily, but the girl was not with him, so I continued searching. Makayla Newton's thoughts caught my attention, and I located Bella at last, in gym with her. Makayla was unhappy, because I'd spoken to Bella today in biology. She was running over Bella's response when she'd brought the subject up...

I've never seen her actually talk to anyone for more than a word here or there. Of course she would decide to find Bella interesting. I don't like the way she looks at Bella. But she didn't seem too excited about Cullen. What did Bella say? 'Wonder what was with her last Monday.' Something like that. Didn't sound like she cared. It couldn't have been much of a conversation...

She talked herself out of her pessimism in that way, cheered by the idea that Bella had not been interested in her exchange with me. This annoyed me quite a bit more than was acceptable, so I stopped listening to her.

I put a CD of violent music into the stereo, and then turned it up until it drowned out other voices. I had to concentrate on the music very hard to keep myself from drifting back to Makayla Newton's thoughts, to spy on the unsuspecting girl...

I cheated a few times, as the hour drew to a close. Not spying, I tried to convince myself. I was just preparing. I wanted to know exactly when she would leave the gym, when she would be in the parking lot. I didn't want her to take me by surprise.

As the students started to file out of the gym doors, I got out of my car, not sure why I did it. The rain was light—I ignored it as it slowly saturated my hair.

Did I want her to see me here? Did I hope she would come to speak to me? What was I doing?

I didn't move, though I tried to convince myself to get back in the car, knowing my behavior was reprehensible. I kept my arms folded across my chest and breathed very shallowly as I watched her walk slowly toward me, her mouth turning down at the corners. She didn't look at me. A few times she glanced up at the clouds with a grimace, as if they offended her.

I was disappointed when she reached her car before she had to pass me. Would she have spoken to me? Would I have spoken to her?

She got into a faded red Chevy truck, a rusted behemoth that was older than her father. I watched her start the truck—the old engine roared louder than any other vehicle in the lot—and then hold her hands out toward the heating vents. The cold was uncomfortable to her—she didn't like it. She ran her fingers through her thick hair. I imagined what the cab of that truck would smell like, and then quickly drove out the thought.

She glanced around as she prepared to back out, and finally looked in my direction. She stared back at me for only half a second, and all I could read in her eyes was surprise before she tore her eyes away and jerked the truck into reverse. And then squealed to a stop again, the back end of the truck missing a collision with Erin Teague's compact by mere inches.

She stared into her rearview mirror, her mouth hanging open with chagrin. When the other car had pulled past her, she checked all her blind spots twice and then inched out the parking space so cautiously that it made me grin. It was like she thought she wasdangerousin her decrepit truck.

The thought of Bella Swan being dangerous to anyone, no matter what she was driving, had me laughing while the girl drove past me, staring straight ahead.


	5. phenomenon Bella pov

When I opened my eyes in the morning, something was different.

It was the light. It was still the gray-green light of a cloudy day in the forest, but it was clearer somehow. I realized there was no fog veiling my window.

I jumped up to look outside, and then groaned in horror.

A fine layer of snow covered the yard, dusted the top of my truck, and whitened the road. But that wasn't the worst part. All the rain from yesterday had frozen solid— coating the needles on the trees in fantastic, gorgeous patterns, and making the driveway a deadly ice slick. I had enough trouble not falling down when the ground was dry; it might be safer for me to go back to bed now.

Charlie had left for work before I got downstairs. In a lot of ways, living with Charlie was like having my own place, and I found myself reveling in the aloneness instead of being lonely.

I threw down a quick bowl of cereal and some orange juice from the carton. I felt excited to go to school, and that scared me. I knew it wasn't the stimulating learning environment I was anticipating, or seeing my new set of friends. If I was being honest with myself, I knew I was eager to get to school because I would see Edyth Cullen. And that was very, very stupid.

I should be avoiding her after everything. Her death glares were still fresh in my memory, despite her random questioning yesterday I still felt like she didn't like me much. And I was suspicious of her; why should she lie about her eyes? I was still frightened of the hostility I sometimes felt emanating from her, and I was still tongue-tied whenever I pictured her perfect face. I don't know why I cared, as far as I know she didn't care much for me. So I shouldn't be at all anxious to see her today.

It took every ounce of my concentration to make it down the icy brick driveway alive.

I almost lost my balance when I finally got to the truck, but I managed to cling to the side mirror and save myself. Clearly, today was going to be nightmarish.

Driving to school, I distracted myself from my fear of falling and my unwanted speculations about Edyth Cullen by thinking about Makayla and Eric, and the obvious difference in how my fellow teenagers responded to me here. I was sure I looked exactly the same as I had in Phoenix. I had gotten attention from a few boys back in Phoenix, but I had gently made it clear that I wasn't interested in boys. I had definitely never gotten any attention from any girls, even though I was sure there were girls in my old school whocouldhave been interested. Perhaps it was because I was a novelty here, where novelties were few and far between. Possibly my clumsiness was seen as endearing rather than pathetic. Whatever the reason, Makayla's puppy dog behavior and Eric's apparent rivalry with her were disconcerting. I wasn't sure if I didn't prefer being ignored.

My truck seemed to have no problem with the black ice that covered the roads. I drove very slowly, though, not wanting to carve a path of destruction through Main Street.

When I got out of my truck at school, I saw why I'd had so little trouble. Something silver caught my eye, and I walked to the back of the truck— carefully holding the side for support— to examine my tires. There were thin chains crisscrossed in diamond shapes around them. Charlie had gotten up who knows how early to put snow chains on my truck. I probably should have been the one to think about putting chains on the tires, if I could figure out how to do that. I appreciated that Charlie knew I couldn't do it myself. My throat suddenly felt tight. I wasn't used to being taken care of, and Charlie's unspoken concern caught me by surprise.

I was standing by the back corner of the truck, struggling to fight back the sudden wave of emotion the snow chains had brought on, when I heard an odd sound.

It was a high-pitched screech, and it was fast becoming painfully loud. I looked up, startled.

I saw several things simultaneously. Nothing was moving in slow motion, the way it does in the movies. Instead, the adrenaline rush seemed to make my brain work much faster, and I was able to absorb in clear detail several things at once.

Edyth Cullen was standing four cars down from me, staring at me in horror. Her face stood out from a sea of faces, all frozen in the same mask of shock. But of more immediate importance was the dark blue van that was skidding, tires locked and squealing against the brakes, spinning wildly across the ice of the parking lot. It was going to hit the back corner of my truck, and I was standing between them. I didn't even have time to close my eyes.

Just before I heard the shattering crunch of the van folding around the truck bed, something hit me, hard, but not from the direction I was expecting. My head cracked against the icy blacktop, and I felt something solid and cold pinning me to the ground. I was lying on the pavement behind the tan car I'd parked next to. But I didn't have a chance to notice anything else, because the van was still coming. It had curled gratingly around the end of the truck and, still spinning and sliding, was about to collide with meagain.

A low oath made me aware that someone was with me, and the voice was impossible not to recognize. Two long, white hands shot out protectively in front of me, and the van shuddered to a stop a foot from my face, the large hands fitting exactly into a deep dent in the side of the van's body.

Then her hands moved so fast they blurred. One was suddenly gripping under the body of the van, and something was dragging me, swinging my legs around like a rag doll's, till they hit the tire of the tan car. A groaning metallic thud hurt my ears, and the van settled, glass popping, onto the asphalt— exactly where, a second ago, my legs had been.

It was absolutely silent for one long second before the screaming began. In the abrupt bedlam, I could hear more than one person shouting my name. But more clearly than all the yelling, I could hear Edyth Cullen's low, frantic voice in my ear.

"Bella? Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." My voice sounded strange. I tried to sit up, and realized she was holding me against the side of her body in an iron grasp.

"Be careful," she warned as I struggled. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

I became aware of a throbbing ache centered above my left ear.

"Ow," I said, surprised.

"That's what I thought." Her voice, amazingly, sounded like she was suppressing laughter.

"How in the…" I trailed off, trying to clear my head, get my bearings. "How did you get over here so fast?"

"I was standing right next to you, Bella," she said, her tone serious again.

I turned to sit up, and this time she let me, releasing her hold around my waist and sliding as far from me as she could in the limited space. I looked at her concerned, innocent expression and was disoriented again by the force of her gold-colored eyes.

What was I asking her?

And then they found us, a crowd of people with tears streaming down their faces, shouting at each other, shouting at us.

"Don't move," someone instructed.

"Get Taylor out of the van!" someone else shouted.

There was a flurry of activity around us. I tried to get up, but Edyth's cold hand pushed my shoulder down.

"Just stay put for now."

"But it's cold," I complained. It surprised me when she chuckled under her breath. There was an edge to the sound.

"You were over there," I suddenly remembered, and her chuckle stopped short. "You were by your car."

Her expression turned hard. "No, I wasn't."

"I saw you." All around us was chaos. I could hear the gruffer voices of adults arriving on the scene. But I obstinately held on to our argument; I was right, and she was going to admit it.

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way."

She stared at me, and something strange happened. It was like the gold of her eyes intensified, like her eyes were drugging me, hypnotizing me. It was devastating in a weird, exciting way. But her expression was anxious. I felt like she trying to communicate something crucial.

"No… but," my voice faltered. "That's not what happened." I set my jaw, regaining my resolve.

The gold in her eyes blazed. "Please, Bella."

"Why?" I demanded.

"Trust me," she pleaded, her soft voice overwhelming.

I could hear the sirens now. "Will you promise to explain everything to me later?"

"Fine," she snapped, abruptly exasperated.

"Fine," I repeated, unable to process her mood swings with everything else that was happening. What was I supposed to think, when what I remembered happening was impossible?

It took six EMTs and two teachers— Mr. Varner and Coach Clapp— to shift the van far enough away from us to bring the stretchers in. Edyth insisted she hadn't been touched, and I tried to do the same, but the traitor told them I'd hit my head and probably had a concussion. I almost died of humiliation when they put on the neck brace. It looked like the entire school was there, watching soberly as they loaded me in the back of the ambulance. Edyth got to ride in the front. It was all a hundred times worse than I'd imagine today would be, and I hadn't even made it to the sidewalk.

To make matters worse, Chief Swan arrived before they could get me safely away.

"Bella!" he yelled in panic when he recognized me on the stretcher.

"I'm completely fine, Char— Dad," I sighed. "There's nothing wrong with me."

He turned to the closest EMT for a second opinion. I tuned him out to consider the jumble of inexplicable images churning chaotically in my head—images that were not possible. When they'd lifted me away from the car, I had seen the deep dent in the tan car's bumper— a very distinct dent that fit the contours of Edyth's shoulders… as if she had braced herself against the car with enough force to damage the metal frame.…

And then there was her family, looking on from the distance, with expressions that ranged from disapproval to fury but held no hint of concern for their sister's safety.

I remembered the sensation of almost flying through the air… that hard mass that had pinned me to the ground… Edyth's hand under the frame of the van, like it was holding the van off the ground…

I tried to think of a logical solution that could explain what I had just seen. All I could come up with was that I was having some kind of psychotic episode. I didn'tfeel crazy, but maybe crazy people always felt sane.

Naturally, the ambulance got a police escort to the county hospital. I felt ridiculous the whole time they were unloading me. What made it worse was that Edyth simply glided through the hospital doors of her own accord.

They put me in the emergency room, a long room with a line of beds separated by pastel-patterned curtains. A nurse put a pressure cuff on my arm and a thermometer under my tongue. Since no one bothered pulling the curtain around to give me some privacy, I decided I wasn't obligated to wear the stupid-looking neck brace anymore. When the nurse walked away, I quickly unfastened the Velcro and threw it under the bed.

There was another flurry of hospital personnel, another stretcher brought to the bed next to me. I recognized Taylor Crowley from my Government class beneath the bloodstained bandages wrapped tightly around her head. Taylor looked a hundred times worse than I felt. But she was staring anxiously at me.

"Bella, I'm so sorry!"

"I'm fine, Taylor— you look awful, are you all right?" As we spoke, nurses began unwinding her soiled bandages, exposing a myriad of shallow slices all over her forehead and left cheek.

She ignored me. "I thought I was going to kill you! I was going too fast, and I hit the ice wrong.…" She winced as one nurse started dabbing at her face.

"Don't worry about it; you missed me."

"How did you get out of the way so fast? You were there, and then you were gone.…"

"Umm… Edyth shoved me out of the way."

She looked confused. "Who?"

"Edyth Cullen— she was standing next to me." I'd always been a terrible liar; I didn't sound convincing at all.

"Cullen? I didn't see her… wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is she okay?"

"I think so. She's here somewhere, but they didn't make her use a stretcher."

I knew I wasn't crazy. What had happened? There was no way to explain away what I'd seen.

They wheeled me away then, to X-ray my head. I told them there was nothing wrong, and I was right. Not even a concussion. I asked if I could leave, but the nurse said I had to talk to a doctor first. So I was trapped in the ER, waiting, harassed by Taylor's constant apologies and promises to make it up to me. No matter how many times I tried to convince her I was fine, she continued to torment herself. Finally, I closed my eyes and ignored her. She kept up a remorseful mumbling.

"Is she sleeping?" a musical voice asked. My eyes flew open.

Edyth was standing at the foot of my bed, smirking. I glared at her. It wasn't easy— it would have been more natural to ogle.

"Hey, Edyth, I'm really sorry—" Taylor began.

Edyth lifted a hand to stop her.

"No blood, no foul," she said, flashing her brilliant teeth. She moved to sit on the edge of Taylor's bed, facing me. She smirked again.

"So, what's the verdict?" she asked me.

"There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go," I sighed. "How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

"It's all about who you know," she answered. "But don't worry, I came to spring you."

Then a doctor walked around the corner, and my mouth fell open. He was young, he was blond… and he was handsomer than any movie star I'd ever seen. Handsome like an old-time movie star; something like a young Marlon Brando combined with James Dean and Cary Grant. He was pale, though, and tired-looking, with circles under his eyes. From Charlie's description, this had to be Edyth's father.

"So, Ms Swan," Dr. Cullen said in a gently appealing voice, "how are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I said, for the last time, I hoped.

He walked to the light-board on the wall over my head, and turned it on.

"Your X-rays look good," he said. "Does your head hurt? Edyth said you hit it pretty hard."

"It's fine," I repeated with a sigh, narrowing my eyes at Edyth, who conspicuously looked away.

The doctor's cool fingers probed lightly along my skull. He noticed when I winced.

"Tender?" he asked.

"Not really." I'd had worse.

I heard a chuckle, and looked over to see Edyth smiling.

"Well, your father is in the waiting room— you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."

"Can't I go back to school?" I asked, imagining Charlie trying to be attentive.

"Maybe you should take it easy today."

I glanced at Edyth. "Doessheget to go to school?"

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," Edyth said smugly.

"Actually," Dr. Cullen corrected, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

"Oh no," I moaned.

Dr. Cullen raised his eyebrows. "Do you want to stay?"

"No, no!" I insisted, throwing my legs over the side of the bed and hopping down quickly. Too quickly— I staggered, and Dr. Cullen caught me. He looked concerned.

"I'm fine," I assured him again. No need to tell him my balance problems had nothing to do with hitting my head.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain," he suggested as he steadied me.

"It doesn't hurt that bad," I insisted.

"It sounds like you were extremely lucky," Dr. Cullen said, smiling as he signed my chart with a flourish.

"Lucky Edyth happened to be standing next to me," I amended with a glance at the subject of my statement.

"Oh, well, yes," Dr. Cullen agreed, suddenly occupied with the papers in front of him. Then he looked away, at Taylor, and walked to the next bed. My intuition flickered; the doctor was in on it.

"I'm afraid thatyou'llhave to stay with us just a little bit longer," he said to Taylor, and began checking her cuts.

As soon as the doctor's back was turned, I moved to Edyth's side.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" I whispered under my breath. She took a step back from me, her jaw suddenly clenched.

"Your father is waiting for you," she said through her teeth.

I glanced at Dr. Cullen and Taylor.

"I'd like to speak with you alone, if you don't mind," I pressed.

She glared, and then turned her back and strode down the long room. I nearly had to run to keep up. As soon as we turned the corner into a short hallway, she spun around to face me.

"What do you want?" she asked, sounding annoyed. Her eyes were cold.

Her unfriendliness intimidated me. My words came out with less severity than I'd intended. "You owe me an explanation," I reminded her.

"I saved your life— I don't owe you anything."

I flinched back from the resentment in her voice. "You promised. Why are you acting like this?"

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about." Her tone was cutting.

Her attitude infuriated me, and I glared defiantly at her. "There's nothing wrong with my head."

She glared back. "What do you want from me, Bella?"

"I want to know the truth," I said. "I want to know why I'm lying for you."

"What do youthinkhappened?" she snapped.

It was harder to say the words out loud, where I could hear how crazy it sounded. It shook my conviction, but I tried to keep my voice even and calm.

"What I know is that you weren't anywhere near me— Taylor didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both— and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it— and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all— and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up.…" It just kept sounding worse and worse. I couldn't continue. I was so frustrated I could feel tears forming in my eyes; I took a deep breath and swallowed hard.

She was staring at me incredulously. But her face was tense, defensive.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" Her tone questioned my sanity, but there was something off. It was like a perfectly delivered line by a skilled actor.

I merely nodded once, jaw tight.

"Nobody will believe that, you know." Her voice held an edge of derision now.

"I'm not going to tell anybody." I said each word slowly, carefully controlling my emotions.

Surprise flitted across her face. "Then why does it matter?"

"It matters to me," I said. "I don't like to lie— so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it."

"Can't you just thank me and get over it?"

"Thank you." I said, and then I folded my arms. Waiting.

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"No."

"In that case… I hope you enjoy disappointment."

We scowled at each other in silence. I was the first to speak, trying to keep myself focused. I was in danger of being distracted by her livid, glorious face. It was like trying to stare down a destroying angel.

"If you were going to be like this about it," I said frigidly, "Why did you even bother?"

She paused, and for a brief moment her stunning face was unexpectedly vulnerable.

"I don't know," she whispered.

And then she turned her back on me and walked away.

I was so angry, it took me a few minutes until I could move. When I could walk, I made my way slowly to the exit at the end of the hallway.

The waiting room was more unpleasant than I'd feared. It seemed like every face I knew in Forks was there, staring at me. Charlie rushed to my side; I put up my hands.

"There's nothing wrong with me," I assured him quietly. I was still upset by the whole situation.

"What did the doctor say?"

"Dr. Cullen saw me, and he said I was fine and I could go home." I sighed. Makayla and Jeremy and Eric were all there, beginning to converge on us. "Let's go," I urged.

Charlie put one arm behind my back, not quite touching me, and led me to the glass doors of the exit. I waved sheepishly at my friends, hoping to convey that they didn't need to worry anymore. It was a huge relief— the first time I'd ever felt that way— to get into the cruiser.

We drove in silence. I was so wrapped up in my thoughts that I barely knew Charlie was there. I was positive that Edyth's defensive behavior in the hall was a confirmation of the bizarre things I still could hardly believe I'd witnessed.

When we got to the house, Charlie finally spoke.

"Um… you'll need to call Renée." He hung his head, guilty.

I was appalled. "You toldMom!"

"Sorry."

I slammed the cruiser's door a little harder than necessary on my way out.

My mom was in hysterics, of course. I had to tell her I felt fine at least thirty times before she would calm down. She begged me to come home— forgetting the fact that home was empty at the moment— but her pleas were easier to resist than I would have thought. I was consumed by the mystery Edyth presented. And more than a little obsessed by Edyth herself. Stupid, stupid, stupid. I wasn't as eager to escape Forks as I should be, as any normal, sane person would be.

I decided I might as well go to bed early that night. Charlie continued to watch me anxiously, and it was getting on my nerves. I stopped on my way to grab three Tylenol from the bathroom. They did help, and, as the pain eased, I drifted to sleep.

That was the first night I dreamed of Edyth Cullen


	6. phenomenon Edyth pov

Truly, I was not thirsty, but I decided to hunt again that night. A small ounce of prevention, inadequate though I knew it to be.

Carlisle came with me; we hadn't been alone together since I'd returned from Denali. As we ran through the black forest, I heard him thinking about that hasty goodbye last week.

In his memory, I saw the way my features had been twisted in fierce despair. I felt his surprise and sudden worry.

"Edyth?"

"I have to go, Carlisle. I have to gonow."

"What's happened?"

"Nothing. Yet. But it will, if I stay."

He'd reached for my arm. I felt how it had hurt him when I'd cringed away from

his hand.

"I don't understand."

"Have you ever...has there ever been a time..."

I watched myself take a deep breath, saw the wild light in my eyes through the filter of his deep concern.

"Has any one person ever smelled better to you than the rest of them?Much

better?"

"Oh."

When I'd known that he understood, my face had fallen with shame. He'd reached out to touch me, ignoring it when I'd recoiled again, and left his hand on my shoulder.

"Do what you must to resist, Edyth. I will miss you. Here, take my car. It's faster."

He was wondering now if he'd done the right thing then, sending me away. Wondering if he hadn't hurt me with his lack of trust.

"No," I whispered as I ran. "That was what I needed. I might so easily have betrayed that trust, if you'd told me to stay."

"I'm sorry you're ssuffering edyth but you should do what you can to keep the Swan girl alive. Even if it means that you must leave us again."

"I know, I know."

"Whydidyou come back? You know how happy I am to have you here, but if this is too difficult..."

"I didn't like feeling a coward," I admitted.

We'd slowed—we were barely jogging through the darkness now.

"Better that than to put her in danger. She'll be gone in a year or two."

"You're right, I know that." Contrarily, though, his words only made me more anxious to stay thegirl wwouldhgone one in a year or two...

Carlisle stopped running and I stopped with him; he turned to examine my expression.

But you're not going to run, are you?

I hung my head.

Is it pride, Edyth? There's no shame in—

"No, it isn't pride that keeps me here. Not now."

Nowhere to go?

I laughed shortly. "No. That wouldn't stop me, if I could make myself leave."

"We'll come with you, of course, if that's what you need. You only have to ask. You've moved on without complaint for the rest of them. They won't begrudge you this."

I raised one eyebrow.

He laughed. "Yes, Royal might, but he owes you. Anyway, it's much better for us to leave now, no damage done, than for us to leave later, after a life has been ended." All humor was gone by the end.

I flinched at his words.

"Yes," I agreed. My voice sounded hoarse.

But you're not leaving?

I sighed. "I should."

"What holds you here, Edyth? I'm failing to see..."

"I don't know if I can explain." Even to myself, it made no sense.

He measured my expression for a long moment.

No, I do not see. But I will respect your privacy, if you prefer.

"Thank you. It's generous of you, seeing as how I give privacy to no one." With one exception. And I was doing what I could to deprive her of that, wasn't I?

We all have our quirks.He laughed again.Shall we?

He'd just caught the scent of a small herd of deer. It was hard to rally much enthusiasm for what was, even under the best of circumstances, a less than mouthwatering aroma. Right now, with the memory of the girl's blood fresh in my mind, the smell actually turned my stomach.

I sighed. "Let's," I agreed, though I knew that forcing more blood down my throat would help so little.

We both shifted into a hunting crouch and let the unappealing scent pull us silently forward.

It was colder when we returned home. The melted snow had refrozen; it was as if a thin sheet of glass covered everything—each pine needle, each fern frond, each blade of grass was iced over.

While Carlisle went to dress for his early shift at the hospital, I stayed by the river, waiting for the sun to rise. I felt almost swollen from the amount of blood I'd consumed, but I knew the lack of actual thirst would mean little when I sat beside the girl again.

Cool and motionless as the stone I sat on, I stared at the dark water running beside the icy bank, stared right through it.

Carlisle was right. I should leave Forks. They could spread some story to explain my absence. Boarding school in Europe. Visiting distant relatives. Teenage runaway. The story didn't matter. No one would question too intensely.

It was just a year or two, and then the girl would disappear. She would go on with her life—she wouldhavea life to go on with. She'd go to college somewhere, get older, start a career, perhaps marry someone. I could picture that—I could see her dressed in a fine dress, sharing a first dance with a safe,humanpartner.

It was odd, the pain that image caused me. I couldn't understand it. Was I jealous, because she had a future that I could never have? That made no sense. Every one of the humans around me had that same potential ahead of them—a life—and I rarely stopped to envy them.

I should leave her to her future. Stop risking her life. That was the right thing to do. Carlisle always chose the right way. I should listen to him now.

The sun rose behind the clouds, and the faint light glistened off all the frozen glass.

One more day, I decided. I would see her one more time. I could handle that. Perhaps I would mention my pending disappearance, set the story up.

This was going to be difficult; I could feel that in the heavy reluctance that was already making me think of excuses to stay—to extend the deadline to two days, three, four... But I would do the right thing. I knew I could trust Carlisle's advice. And I also knew that I was too conflicted to make the right decision alone.

Much too conflicted. How much of this reluctance came from my obsessive curiosity, and how much came from my unsatisfied appetite?

I went inside to change into fresh clothes for school.

Alice was waiting for me, sitting on the top step at the edge of the third floor.

You're leaving again,she accused me.

I sighed and nodded.

I can't see where you're going this time.

"I don't know where I'm going yet," I whispered.

I want you to stay.

I shook my head.

Maybe Jazz and I could come with you?

"They'll need you all the more, if I'm not here to watch out for them. And think of Esme. Would you take half her family away in one blow?"

You're going to make her so sad.

"I know. That's why you have to stay."

That's not the same as having you here, and you know it.

"Yes. But I have to do what's right."

There are many right ways, and many wrong ways, though, aren't there?

For a brief moment she was swept away into one of her strange visions; I watched along with her as the indistinct images flickered and whirled. I saw myself mixed in with strange shadows that I couldn't make out—hazy, imprecise forms. And then, suddenly, my skin was glittering in the bright sunlight of a small open meadow. This was a place I knew. There was a figure in the meadow with me, but, again, it was indistinct, notthereenough to recognize. The images shivered and disappeared as a million tiny choices rearranged the future again.

"I didn't catch much of that," I told her when the vision went dark.

Me either. Your future is shifting around so much I can't keep up with any of it. Ithink, though...

She stopped, and she flipped through a vast collection of other recent visions for me. They were all the same—blurry and vague.

"Ithinksomething is changing, though," she said out loud. "Your life seems to be at a crossroads."

I laughed grimly. "You do realize that you sound like a bogus fortune teller at a carnival now, right?"

She stuck her tiny tongue out at me.

"Today is all right, though, isn't it?" I asked, my voice abruptly apprehensive.

"I don't see you killing anyone today," she assured me.

"Thanks, Alice."

"Go get dressed. I won't say anything—I'll let you tell the others when you're ready."

She stood and darted back down the stairs, her shoulders hunched slightly.

Miss you. Really.

Yes, I would really miss her, too.

It was a quiet ride to school. Jasper could tell that Alice was upset about something, but he knew that if she wanted to talk about it she would have done so already. Emmett and Royal were oblivious, having another of their moments, gazing into each others' eyes with wonder—it was rather disgusting to watch from the outside. We were all quite aware how desperately in love they were. Or maybe I was just being bitter because I was the only one alone. Some days it was harder than others to live with three sets of perfectly matched lovers. This was one of them.

Maybe they would all be happier without me hanging around, ill-tempered and belligerent as the old woman I should be by now.

Of course, the first thing I did when we reached the school was to look for the girl. Just preparing myself again.

Right.

It was embarrassing how my world suddenly seemed to be empty of everything but her—my whole existence centered around her, rather than around myself anymore.

It was easy enough to understand, though, really; after so many years of the same thing every day and every night, any change became a point of absorption.

she had not yet arrived, but could I hear the thunderous chugging of her truck's engine in the distance. I leaned against the side of the car to wait. Alice stayed with me, while the others went straight to class. They were bored with my fixation—it was incomprehensible to them how any human could hold my interest for so long, no matter how delicious she smelled.

she drove slowly into view, her eyes intent on the road and her hands tight on the wheel. She seemed anxious about something. It took me a second to figure out what that something was, to realize that every human wore the same expression today. Ah, the road was slick with ice, and they were all trying to drive more carefully. I could see she was taking the added risk seriously.

That seemed in line with what little I had learned of her character. I added this to my small list: she was a serious person, a responsible person.

She parked not too far from me, but she hadn't noticed me standing here yet, staring at her. I wondered what she would do when she did? Blush and walk away?

That was my first guess. But maybe she would stare back. Maybe she would come to talk to me.

I took a deep breath, filling my lungs hopefully, just in case.

She got out of the truck with care, testing the slick ground before she put her weight on it. She didn't look up, and that frustrated me. Maybe I would go talk to her...

No, that would be wrong.

Instead of turning toward the school, she made her way to the rear of her truck, clinging to the side of the truck bed in a droll way, not trusting her footing. It made me smile, and I felt Alice's eyes on my face. I didn't listen to whatever this made her think—I was having too much fun watching the girl check her snow chains. She actually looked in some danger of falling, the way her feet were sliding around. No one else was having trouble—had she parked in the worst of the ice?

She paused there, staring down with a strange expression on her face. It was...tender? As if something about the tire was making her...emotional?

Again, the curiosity ached like a thirst. It was as if Ihadto know what she was thinking—as if nothing else mattered.

I would go talk to her. She looked like she could use a hand anyway, at least until she was off the slick pavement. Of course, I couldn't offer her that, could I? I hesitated, torn. As adverse as she seemed to be to snow, she would hardly welcome the touch of my cold white hand. I should have worn gloves—

"NO!" Alice gasped aloud.

Instantly, I scanned her thoughts, guessing at first that I had made a poor choice and she saw me doing something inexcusable. But it had nothing to do with me at all.

Taylor Crowley had chosen to take the turn into the parking lot at an injudicious speed. This choice would send her skidding across a patch of ice...

The vision came just half a second before the reality. Taylor's van rounded the corner as I was still watching the conclusion that had pulled the horrified gasp through Alice's lips.

No, this vision had nothing to do with me, and yet it hadeverythingto do with me, because Taylor's van—the tires right now hitting the ice at the worst possible angle—was going to spin across the lot and crush the girl who had become the uninvited focal point of my world.

Even without Alice's foresight it would have been simple enough to read the trajectory of the vehicle, flying out of Taylor's control.

The girl, standing in the exactly wrong place at the back of her truck, looked up, bewildered by the sound of the screeching tires. She looked straight into my horror- struck eyes, and then turned to watch her approaching death.

Not her!The words shouted in my head as if they belonged to someone else.

Still locked into Alice's thoughts, I saw the vision suddenly shift, but I had no time to see what the outcome would be.

I launched myself across the lot, throwing myself between the skidding van and the frozen girl. I moved so fast that everything was a streaky blur except for the object of my focus. She didn't see me—no human eyes could have followed my flight—still staring at the hulking shape that was about to grind her body into the metal frame of her truck.

I caught her around the waist, moving with too much urgency to be as gentle as she would need me to be. In the hundredth of a second between the time that I yanked her slight form out of the path of death and the time that I crashed into to the ground with her in my arms, I was vividly aware of her fragile, breakable body.

When I heard her head crack against the ice, it felt like I had turned to ice, too.

But I didn't even have a full second to ascertain her condition. I heard the van behind us, grating and squealing as it twisted around the sturdy iron body of the girl's truck. It was changing course, arcing, coming for her again—like she was a magnet, pulling it toward us.

"Damn!" the words slid between my clenched teeth.

I had already done too much. As I'd nearly flown through the air to push her out of the way, I'd been fully aware of the mistake I was making. Knowing that it was a mistake did not stop me, but I was not oblivious to the risk I was taking—taking, not just for myself, but for my entire family.

Exposure.

Andthiscertainly wasn't going to help, but there was no way I was going to allow the van to succeed in its second attempt to take her life.

I dropped her and threw my hands out, catching the van before it could touch her. The force of it hurled me back into the car parked beside her truck, and I could feel its frame buckle behind my shoulders. The van shuddered and shivered against the unyielding obstacle of my arms, and then swayed, balancing unstably on the two far tires.

If I moved my hands, the back tire of the van was going fall onto her legs.

Oh, for theloveofallthat washoly, would the catastrophes never end? Was there anything else that could go wrong? I could hardly sit here, holding the van in the air, and wait for rescue. Nor could I throw the van away—there was the driver to consider, her thoughts incoherent with panic.

With an internal groan, I shoved the van so that it rocked away from us for an instant. As it fell back toward me, I caught it under the frame with my right hand while I wrapped my left arm around the girl's waist again and drug her out from under the van, pulling her tight up against my side. Her body moved limply as I swung her around so that her legs would be in the clear—was she conscious? How much damage had I done to her in my impromptu rescue attempt?

I let the van drop, now that it could not hurt her. It crashed to the pavement, all the windows shattering in unison.

I knew that I was in the middle of a crisis. How much had she seen? Had any other witnesses watched me materialize at her side and then juggle the van while I tried to keep her out from under it? These questionsshouldbe my biggest concern.

But I was too anxious to really care about the threat of exposure as much as I should. Too panic-stricken that I might have injured her myself in my effort to protect her. Too frightened to have her this close to me, knowing what I would smell if I allowed myself to inhale. Too aware of the heat of her soft body, pressed against mine—even through the double obstacle of our jackets, I could feel that heat...

The first fear was the greatest fear. As the screaming of the witnesses erupted around us, I leaned down to examine her face, to see if she was conscious—hoping fiercely that she was not bleeding anywhere.

Her eyes were open, staring in shock.

"Bella?" I asked urgently. "Are you all right?"

"I'm fine." She said the words automatically in a dazed voice.

Relief, so exquisite it was nearly pain, washed through me at the sound of her voice. I sucked in a breath through my teeth, and did not mind the accompanying burn in my throat. I almost welcomed it.

She struggled to sit up, but I was not ready to release her. It felt somehow...safer? Better, at least, having her tucked into my side.

"Be careful," I warned her. "I think you hit your head pretty hard."

There had been no smell of fresh blood—a mercy, that—but this did not rule out internal damage. I was abruptly anxious to get her to Carlisle and a full compliment of radiology equipment.

"Ow," she said, her tone comically shocked as she realized I was right about her head.

"That's what I thought." Relief made it funny to me, made me almost giddy.

"How in the..." Her voice trailed off, and her eyelids fluttered. "How did you get over here so fast?"

The relief turned sour, the humor vanished. Shehadnoticed too much.

Now that it appeared that she was in decent shape, the anxiety for my family became severe.

"I was standing right next to you, Bella." I knew from experience that if I was very confident as I lied, it made any questioner less sure of the truth.

She struggled to move again, and this time I allowed it. I needed to breathe so that I could play my role correctly. I needed space from her warm-blooded heat so that it would not combine with her scent to overwhelm me. I slid away from her, as far as was possible in the small space between the wrecked vehicles.

She stared up at me, and I stared back. To look away first was a mistake only an incompetent liar would make, and I was not an incompetent liar. My expression was smooth, benign... It seemed to confuse her. That was good.

The accident scene was surrounded now. Mostly students, children, peering and pushing through the cracks to see if any mangled bodies were visible. There was a babble of shouting and a gush of shocked thought. I scanned the thoughts once to make sure there were no suspicions yet, and then tuned it out and concentrated only on her.

She was distracted by the bedlam. She glanced around, her expression still stunned, and tried to get to her feet.

I put my hand lightly on her shoulder to hold her down.

"Just stay put for now." Sheseemedalright, but should she really be moving her neck? Again, I wished for Carlisle. My years of theoretical medical study were no match for his centuries of hands-on medical practice.

"But it's cold," she objected.

She had almost been crushed to death two distinct times and crippled one more, and it was the cold that worried her. A chuckle slid through my teeth before I could remember that the situation was not funny.

Bella blinked, and then her eyes focused on my face. "You were over there."

That sobered me again.

Her expression did not falter, her pale blue eyes stayed locked on my face. "You were by your car."

"No, I wasn't."

"I saw you," she insisted; her eyes continue to probe my face.

"Bella, I was standing with you, and I pulled you out of the way."

I stared deeply into those beautiful, wide eyes, trying to will her into accepting my version— the only rational version on the table.

"No… but," Her voice faltered for a brief moment. "That's not what happened." Her jaw set; defiant, resolved.

I tried to stay calm, to not panic. If only I could keep her quiet for a few moments, to give me a chance to destroy the evidence...and undermine her story by disclosing her head injury.

Shouldn't it be easy to keep this silent, secretive girl quiet? If only she would trust me, just for a few moments...

"Please, Bella," I said, and my voice was too intense, because I suddenlywantedher to trust me. Wanted it badly, and not just in regard to this accident. A stupid desire. What sense would it make for her to trustme?

"Why?" she demanded.

"Trust me," I pleaded.

"Will you promise to explain everything to me later?"

It made me angry to have to lie to her again, when I so much wished that I could somehow deserve her trust. So, when I answered her, it was a retort. "Fine."

"Fine," she echoed in the same tone.

While the rescue attempt began around us—adults arriving, authorities called, sirens in the distance—I tried to ignore the girl and get my priorities in the right order. I searched through every mind in the lot, the witnesses and the latecomers both, but I could find nothing dangerous. Many were surprised to see me here beside Bella, but all concluded—as there was no other possible conclusion—that they had just not noticed me standing by her before the accident.

She was the only one who didn't accept the easy explanation, but she would be considered the least reliable witness. She had been frightened, traumatized, not to mention sustaining the blow to the head. Possibly in shock. It would be acceptable for her story to be confused, wouldn't it? No one would give it much credence above so many other spectators...

I winced when I caught the thoughts of Royal, Jasper and Emmett, just arriving on the scene. There would be hell to pay for this tonight.

I wanted to iron out the indention my shoulders had made against the tan car, but the girl was too close. I'd have to wait till she was distracted.

It was frustrating to wait—so many eyes on me—as the humans struggled with the van, trying to pull it away from us. I might have helped them, just to speed the process, but I was already in enough trouble and the girl had sharp eyes. Finally, they were able to shift it far enough away for the EMTs to get to us with their stretchers.

A familiar, grizzled face appraised me.

"Hey, Edyth," Brett Warner said. He was also a registered nurse, and I knew him well from the hospital. It was a stroke of luck—the only luck today—that he was the first through to us. In his thoughts, he was noting that I looked alert and calm. "You okay, kid?"

"Perfect, Brett. Nothing touched me. But I'm afraid Bella here might have a concussion. She really hit her head when I yanked her out of the way..."

Brett turned his attention to the girl, who shot me a fierce look of betrayal. Oh, that was right. She was the quiet martyr—she'd prefer to suffer in silence.

She did not contradict my story immediately, though, and this made me feel easier.

The next EMT tried to insist that I allow myself to be treated, but it wasn't too difficult to dissuade him. I promised I would let my father examine me, and he let it go. With most humans, speaking with cool assurance was all that was needed. Most humans, just not Bella, of course. Did she fit intoanyof the normal patterns?

As they put a neck brace on her—and her face flushed scarlet with embarrassment—I used the moment of distraction to quietly rearrange the shape of the dent in the tan car with the back of my foot. Only my siblings noticed what I was doing, and I heard Emmett's mental promise to catch anything I missed.

Grateful for his help—and more grateful that Emmett, at least, had already forgiven my dangerous choice—I was more relaxed as I climbed into the front seat of the ambulance next to Brett.

The chief of police arrived before they had gotten Bella into the back of the ambulance.

Though Bella's father's thoughts were past words, the panic and concern emanating out of the man's mind drowned out just about every other thought in the vicinity. Wordless anxiety and guilt, a great swell of them, washed out of him as he saw his only daughter on the gurney.

Washed out of him and through me, echoing and growing stronger. When Alice had warned me that killing Charlie Swan's daughter would kill him, too, she had not been exaggerating.

My head bowed with that guilt as I listened to his panicked voice.

"Bella!" he shouted.

"I'm completely fine, Char—Dad." Bella sighed. "There's nothing wrong with me."

Her assurance barely soothed her father's dread. Chief Swan turned at once to the closest EMT and demanded more information.

I wasn't until I heard him speaking, forming perfectly coherent sentences despite his panic, that I realized that his anxiety and concern werenotwordless. I just...could not hear the exact words.

Hmm. Charlie Swan was not as silent as his daughter, but I could see where she got it from. Interesting.

I'd never spent much time around the town's police chief. I'd always taken him for a man of slow thought—now I realized thatIwas the one who was slow. His thoughts were partially concealed, not absent. I could only make out the tenor, the tone of them...

I wanted to listen harder, to see if I could find in this new, lesser puzzle the key to the girl's secrets. But Bella was loaded into the back by then, and the ambulance was on its way.

It was hard to tear myself away from this possible solution to the mystery that had come to obsess me. But I had to think now—to look at what had been done today from every angle. I had to listen, to make sure that I had not put us all in so much danger that we would have to leave immediately. I had to concentrate.

There was nothing in the thoughts of the EMTs to worry me. As far as they could tell, there was nothing seriously wrong with the girl. And Bella was sticking to the story I'd provided, thus far.

The first priority, when we reached the hospital, was to see Carlisle. I hurried through the automatic doors, but I was unable to totally forgo watching after Bella; I kept an eye on her through the paramedics' thoughts.

It was easy to find my father's familiar mind. He was in his small office, all alone—the second stroke of luck in this luckless day.

"Carlisle."

He'd heard my approach, and he was alarmed as soon as he saw my face. He jumped to his feet, his face paling to bone white. He leaned forward across the neatly organized walnut desk.

Edyth—you didn't—

"No, no, it's not that."

He took deep breath.Of course not. I'm sorry I entertained the thought. Your eyes, of course, I should have known...He noted my still-golden eyes with relief.

"She's hurt, though, Carlisle, probably not seriously, but—"

"What happened?"

"A stupid car accident. She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. But I couldn't just stand there—let it crush her—"

Start over, I don't understand. How were you involved?

"A van skidded across the ice," I whispered. I stared at the wall behind him while I spoke. Instead of a throng of framed diplomas, he had one simple oil painting—a favorite of his, an undiscovered Hassam. "She was in the way. Alice saw it coming, but there wasn't time to do anything but reallyrunacross the lot and shove her out of the way. No one noticed... except for her. I had to stop the van, too, but again, nobody saw that... besides her. I'm... I'm sorry Carlisle. I didn't mean to put us in danger."

He circled the desk and put his hand on my shoulder.

You did the right thing. And it couldn't have been easy for you. I'm proud of you, Edyth.

I could look him in the eye then. "She knows there's something... wrong with me."

"That doesn't matter. If we have to leave, we leave. What has she said?"

I shook my head, a little frustrated. "Nothing yet."

Yet?

"She agreed to my version of events—but she's expecting an explanation."

He frowned, pondering this.

"She hit her head—well, I did that," I continued quickly. "I knocked her to the ground fairly hard. She seems fine, but... I don't think it will take much to discredit her account."

I felt like a cad just saying the words.

Carlisle heard the distaste in my voice.Perhaps that won't be necessary. Let's see what happens, shall we? It sounds like I have a patient to check on.

"Please," I said. "I'm so worried that I hurt her."

Carlisle's expression brightened. He smoothed his fair hair—just a few shades lighter than his golden eyes—and he laughed.

It's been an interesting day for you, hasn't it?In his mind, I could see the irony, and it was humorous, at least to him. Quite the reversal of roles. Somewhere during that short thoughtless second when I'd sprinted across the icy lot, I had transformed from killer to protector.

I laughed with him, remembering how sure I'd been that Bella would never need protecting from anything more than myself. There was an edge to my laugh because, van notwithstanding, that was still entirely true.

I waited alone in Carlisle's office—one of the longer hours I had ever lived—listening to the hospital full of thoughts.

Taylor Crowley, the van's driver, looked to be hurt worse than Bella, and the attention shifted to her while Bella waited her turn to be X-rayed. Carlisle kept in the background, trusting the PA's diagnosis that Bella was only slightly injured. This made me anxious, but I knew he was right. One glance at Carlisle's face and Bella would be immediately reminded of me, of the fact that there was something not right about my family, and that might set her talking.

She certainly had a willing enough partner to converse with. Taylor was consumed with guilt over the fact that she had almost killed the girl, and she couldn't seem to shut up about it. I could see Bella's expression through Taylor's eyes, and it was clear that she wished she would stop. How did Taylor not see that?

There was a tense moment for me when Taylor asked her how she'd gotten out of the way.

I waited, not breathing, as Bella hesitated.

"Umm..."Taylor heard her say. Then she paused for so long that Taylor wondered if her question had confused her Finally, she went on."Edyth shoved me out of the way."

I exhaled. And then my breathing accelerated. I'd never heard Bella speak my name before. I liked the way it sounded—even just hearing it through Taylor's thoughts. I wanted to hear it for myself...

"Edyth Cullen,"Bella said, when Taylor didn't realize who she meant. I found myself at the door, my hand on the knob. The desire to see her was growing stronger. I had to remind myself of the need for caution.

"She was standing next to me."

"Cullen?" Huh. That's weird. "I didn't see her." I could have sworn... "Wow, it was all so fast, I guess. Is she okay?"

"I think so. She's here somewhere, but they didn't make her use a stretcher."

I saw the thoughtful look on Bella's face, the suspicious tightening of her eyes, but these little changes in her expression were lost on Taylor

she's hot,Taylor was thinking, almost in surprise.Even all messed up. Definitely not my usual type, still... I should take her out. Make up for today... I bet she'd like that.

I was out in the hall, then, halfway to the emergency room, without thinking for one second about what I was doing. Luckily, the nurse entered the room before I could— it was Bella's turn for X-rays. I leaned against the wall in a dark nook just around the corner, and tried to get a grip on myself while she was wheeled away.

It didn't matter that Taylor thought she was attractive. Anyone would notice that. There was no reason for me to feel...howdidI feel? Annoyed? Or wasangrycloser to the truth? That made no sense at all.

I stayed where I was for as long as I could, but impatience got the best of me and I took a back way around to the radiology room. She'd already been moved back to the ER, but I was able to take a peek at her x-rays while the nurse's back was turned.

I felt calmer when I had. Her head was fine. I hadn't hurt her, not really. Carlisle caught me there.

You look better,he commented.

I just looked straight ahead. We weren't alone, the halls full of orderlies and

visitors.

Ah, yes.He stuck the girls x-rays to the lightboard, but I didn't need a second look.

I see. She's absolutely fine. Well done, Edyth.

The sound of my father's approval created a mixed reaction in me. I would have been pleased, except that I knew that he would not approve of what I was going to do now. At least, he would not approve if he knew my real motivations...

"I think I'm going to go talk to her—before she sees you," I murmured under my breath. "Act natural, like nothing happened. Smooth it over." All acceptable reasons.

Carlisle nodded absently, still looking over the x-rays. "Good idea. Hmm."

I looked to see what had his interest.

Look at all the healed contusions! How many times did her mother drop her?

Carlisle laughed to himself at his joke.

"I'm beginning to think the girl just has really bad luck. Always in the wrong place at the wrong time."

Forks is certainly the wrong place for her, with you here.

I flinched.

Go ahead. Smooth things over. I'll join you momentarily.

I walked away quickly, feeling guilty. Perhaps I was too good a liar, if I could fool Carlisle.

When I got to the ER, Taylor was mumbling under her breath, still apologizing. The girl was trying to escape her remorse by pretending to sleep. Her eyes were closed, but her breathing was not even, and now and then her fingers would twitch impatiently.

I stared at her face for a long moment. This was the last time I would see her. That fact triggered an acute aching in my chest. Was it because I hated to leave any puzzle unsolved? That did not seem like enough of an explanation.

Finally, I took a deep breath and moved into view.

When Taylor saw me, she started to speak, but I put one finger to my lips.

"Is she sleeping?" I murmured.

Bella's eyes snapped open and focused on my face. They widened momentarily, and then narrowed in anger or suspicion. I remembered that I had a role to play, so I smiled at her as if nothing unusual had happened this morning—besides a blow to her head and a bit of imagination run wild.

"Hey, Edyth Taylor said. "I'm really sorry—"

I raised one hand to halt her apology. "No blood, no foul," I said wryly. Without thinking, I smiled too widely at my private joke.

It was amazingly easy to ignore Taylor, lying no more than four feet from me, covered in fresh blood. I'd never understood how Carlisle was able to do that—ignore the blood of his patients in order to treat them. Wouldn't the constant temptation be so distracting, so dangerous...? But, now... I could see how, if you were focusing on something elsehardenough, the temptation was nothing at all.

Even fresh and exposed, Taylor's blood had nothing on Bella's.

I kept my distance from her, seating myself on the foot of Taylor's mattress.

"So, what's the verdict?" I asked her.

She continued to watch me carefully "There's nothing wrong with me at all, but they won't let me go." She sighed. "How come you aren't strapped to a gurney like the rest of us?"

Her impatience made me smile again.

I could hear Carlisle in the hall now.

"It's all about who you know," I said lightly. "But don't worry, I came to spring you."

I watched her reaction carefully as my father entered the room. Her eyes widened and her mouth actually fell open in surprise. I groaned internally. Yes, she'd certainly noticed the resemblance.

"So, Ms Swan, how are you feeling?" Carlisle asked. He had a wonderfully soothing beside manner that put most patients at ease within moments. I couldn't tell how it affected Bella.

"I'm fine," she said quietly.

Carlisle clipped her X-rays to the lightboard by the bed. "Your X-rays look good. Does your head hurt? Edyth said you hit it pretty hard."

she sighed, and said, "I'm fine," again. Then she narrowed her eyes at me and I glanced away from her gaze.

Carlisle stepped closer to the girl and ran gentle fingers over her scalp until he found the bump under her hair.

I was caught off guard by the wave of emotion that crashed over me.

I had seen Carlisle work with humans a thousand times. Years ago, I had even assisted him informally—though only in situations where blood was not involved. So it wasn't a new thing to me, to watch him interact with the girl as if he were as human as she was. I'd envied his control many times, but that was not the same as this emotion. I envied him more than his control. I ached for the difference between Carlisle and me— that he could touch her so gently, without fear, knowing he would never harm her...

Bella winced, and I twitched in my seat. I had to concentrate for a moment to keep my relaxed posture.

"Tender?" Carlisle asked.

Her chin jerked up a fraction. "Not really," she said.

Another small piece of her character fell into place: she was brave. She didn't like to show weakness.

Possibly the most vulnerable creature I'd ever seen, and she didn't want to seem weak. A chuckle slid through my lips. She shot another glare at me.

"Well," Carlisle said. "Your father is in the waiting room—you can go home with him now. But come back if you feel dizzy or have trouble with your eyesight at all."

Her father was here? I swept through the thoughts in the crowded waiting room, but I couldn't pick his subtle mental voice out of the group before Bella was speaking again, her face anxious.

"Can't I go back to school?"

"Maybe you should take it easy today," Carlisle suggested.

Her eyes flickered back to me. "Doessheget to go to school?"

Act normal, smooth things over...ignore the way it feels when she looks me in the eye...

"Someone has to spread the good news that we survived," I said.

"Actually," Carlisle corrected, "most of the school seems to be in the waiting room."

I anticipated her reaction this time—her aversion to attention. She didn't disappoint.

"Oh no," she moaned.

I liked that I'd finally guessed right. I was beginning to understand her...

"Do you want to stay?" Carlisle asked.

"No, no!" she said quickly, swinging her legs over the side of the mattress and sliding down till her feet were on the floor. She stumbled forward, off-balance, into Carlisle's arms. He caught and steadied her.

Again, the envy flooded through me.

"I'm fine," the girl said before Carlisle could comment, faint pink in her cheeks. Of course, that wouldn't bother Carlisle. He made sure Bella was balanced, and then dropped his hands.

"Take some Tylenol for the pain," he instructed.

"It doesn't hurt that bad."

Carlisle smiled as he signed Bella's chart. "It sounds like you were extremely lucky."

Bella turned her face slightly, to stare at me with hard eyes. "Lucky Edyth happened to be standing next to me."

"Oh, well, yes," Carlisle agreed quickly, hearing the same thing in Bella's voice that I heard. She hadn't written her suspicions off as imagination. Not yet.

All yours, Carlisle thought.Handle it as you think best.

"Thanks so much," I whispered, quick and quiet. Neither human heard me.

Carlisle's lips turned up a tiny bit at my sarcasm as he turned to Taylor. "I'm afraid thatyou'llhave to stay with us just a little bit longer," he said as he began examining the slashes left by the shattered windshield.

Well, I'd made the mess, so it was only fair that I had to deal with it.

Bella walked deliberately toward me, not stopping until she was uncomfortably close. I remembered how I had hoped, before all the mayhem, that she would approach me... This was like a mockery of that wish.

"Can I talk to you for a minute?" She whispered under her breath.

Her warm breath brushed my face and I had to stagger back a step. Her appeal had not abated one bit. Every time she was near me, it triggered all my worst, most urgent instincts. Venom flowed in my mouth and my body yearned to strike—to wrench her into my arms and crush her throat to my teeth.

My mind was stronger than my body, but only just.

"Your father is waiting for you," I reminded her, my jaw clenched tight.

She glanced toward Carlisle and Taylor. Taylor was paying us no attention at all, but Carlisle was monitoring my every breath.

Carefully, Edyth

I.'d like to speak to you alone, if you don't mind," Bella insisted in a low voice.

I wanted to tell her that I did mind very much, but I knew I would have to do this eventually. I may as well get on with it.

I was full of so many conflicting emotions as I stalked out of the room, listening to her stumbling footsteps behind me, trying to keep up.

I had a show to put on now. I knew the role I would play—I had the character down: I would be the villain. I would lie and ridicule and be cruel.

It went against all my better impulses—the human impulses that I'd clung to through all these years. I'd never wanted to deserve trust more than in this moment, when I had to destroy all possibility of it.

It made it worse to know that this would be the last memory she would have of me. This was my farewell scene.

I turned on her.

"What do you want?" I asked coldly.

She cringed back slightly from my hostility. Her eyes turned bewildered, the expression that had haunted me...

"You owe me an explanation," she said in a small voice; her ivory face blanched. It was very hard to keep my voice harsh.

"I saved your life—I don't owe you anything."

She flinched—it burned like acid to watch my words hurt her.

"You promised," she whispered. "Why are you acting like this?"

"Bella, you hit your head, you don't know what you're talking about."

Her chin came up then, and she glared at me defiantly. "There's nothing wrong with my head."

She was angry now, and that made it easier for me. I met her glare, making my face more unfriendly.

"What do you want from me, Bella?"

"I want to know the truth. I want to know why I'm lying for you." What she wanted was only fair—it frustrated me to have to deny her.

"What do youthinkhappened?" I nearly growled at her.

Her words poured out in a torrent. "What I know is that you weren't anywhere near me—Taylor didn't see you, either, so don't tell me I hit my head too hard. That van was going to crush us both—and it didn't, and your hands left dents in the side of it—and you left a dent in the other car, and you're not hurt at all—and the van should have smashed my legs, but you were holding it up..." Suddenly, she clenched her teeth together and her eyes were glistening with unshed tears.

I stared at her, my expression derisive, though what I really felt was awe; she had seen everything.

"You think I lifted a van off you?" I asked sarcastically.

She answered with one stiff nod.

My voice grew more mocking. "Nobody will believe that, you know."

Her eyes changed then, for the first time the warmth of her silver-blue eyes become ice-cold, they burned me with their intensity, pierced me like silver daggers. When she answered me, she spoke each word with slow deliberation. "I'm not going to tell anybody."

She meant it—I could see that in her brilliant eyes. Even furious and betrayed, she would keep my secret.

Why?

The shock of it ruined my carefully designed expression for half a second, and then I pulled myself together.

"Then why does it matter?" I asked, working to keep my voice severe.

"It matters to me," she said intensely. "I don't like to lie—so there'd better be a good reason why I'm doing it."

She was asking me to trust her. Just as I wanted her to trust me. But this was a line I could not cross.

My voice stayed callous. "Can't you just thank me and get over it?"

"Thank you," she said, and then she folded her arms across her chest, waiting.

"You're not going to let it go, are you?"

"No."

"In that case..." I couldn't tell her the truth if I wanted to...and Ididn'twant to. I'd rather she made up her own story than know what I was, because nothing could be worse than the truth—I was a living nightmare, straight from the pages of a horror novel. "I hope you enjoy disappointment."

We scowled at each other. It was odd how I had thought her so fragile before, perhaps in body she was the most vulnerable creature I'd ever seen, but her spirit was something else. The intensity that radiated from her eyes was staggering. I had never seen anything like it.

"If you were going to be like this about it," she finally spoke, the harsh coldness of her eyes had spread to her voice, "why did you even bother?"

Her question wasn't one that I was expecting or prepared to answer. That coupled with the power her eyes seemed to have as they dug into me, I lost my hold on the role I was playing. I felt the mask slip from my face, and I told her—this one time—the truth.

"I don't know."

I memorized her face one last time—it was still cold, and angry. Her eyes, like blue diamonds, practically shining with questions—and then I turned and walked away from her.


	7. visions Edyth pov

I went back to school. This was the right thing to do, the most inconspicuous way to behave.

By the end of the day, almost all the other students had returned to class, too. Just Taylor and Bella and a few others—who were probably using the accident as a chance to ditch—remained absent.

It shouldn't be so hard for me to do the right thing. But, all afternoon, I was gritting my teeth against the urge that had me yearning ditch, too—in order to go find the girl again.

Like a stalker. An obsessed stalker. An obsessed, vampire stalker.

School today was—somehow, impossibly—even more boring than it had seemed just a week ago. Coma-like. It was as if the color had drained from the bricks, the trees, the sky, the faces around me... I stared at the cracks in the walls.

There was another right thing I should be doing...that I was not. Of course, it was also a wrong thing. It all depended on the perspective from which you viewed it.

From the perspective of a Cullen—not just a vampire, but a Cullen, someone who belonged to a family, such a rare state in our world—the right thing to do would have gone something like this:

"I'm surprised to see you in class, Edyth. I heard you were involved in that awful accident this morning."

"Yes, I was, Mrs. Banner, but I was the lucky one." A friendly smile. "I didn't get hurt at all... I wish I could say the same for Taylor and Bella."

"How are they?"

"I think Taylor is fine...just some superficial scrapes from the windshield glass. I'm not sure about Bella, though." A worried frown. "She might have a concussion. I heard she was pretty incoherent for a while—seeing things even. I know the doctors were worried..."

That's how it should have gone. That's what I owed my family.

"I'm surprised to see you in class, Edyth. I heard you were involved in that awful accident this morning."

"I wasn't hurt." No smile.

Mrs. Banner shifted her weight from foot to foot, uncomfortable.

"Do you have any idea how Taylor Crowley and Bella Swan are? I heard there were some injuries..."

I shrugged. "I wouldn't know."

Mrs. Banner cleared her throat. "Er, right..." she said, my cold stare making her voice sound a bit strained.

She walked quickly back to the front of classroom and began her lecture.

It was the wrong thing to do. Unless you looked at it from a more obscure point of view.

It just seemed so...sounchivalrous to slander the girl behind her back, especially when she was proving more trustworthy than I could have dreamed. She hadn't said anything to betray me, despite having good reason to do so. Would I betray her when she had done nothing but keep my secret?

I had a nearly identical conversation with Mrs. Goff—just in Spanish rather than in English—and Emmett gave me a long look.

I hope you have a good explanation for what happened today. Roy is on the warpath.

I rolled my eyes without looking at him.

I actually had come up with a perfectly sound explanation. Just suppose I hadn't done anything to stop the van from crushing the girl... I recoiled from that thought. But if she had been hit, if she'd been mangled and bleeding, the red fluid spilling, wasting on the blacktop, the scent of the fresh blood pulsing through the air...

I shuddered again, but not just in horror. Part of me shivered in desire. No, I would not have been able to watch her bleed without exposing us all in a much more flagrant and shocking way.

It was a perfectly sound excuse...but I wouldn't use it. It was too shameful. And I hadn't thought of it until long after the fact, regardless.

Look out for Jasper,Emmett went on, oblivious to my reverie. He's not as angry...but he's more resolved.

I saw what he meant, and for a moment the room swam around me. My rage was so all-consuming that a red haze clouded my vision. I thought I would choke on it.

JEEZ, EDYTH! GET A GRIP!Emmett shouted at me in his head. His hand came down on my shoulder, holding me in my seat before I could jump to my feet. He rarely used his full strength—there was rarely a need, for he was so much stronger than any vampire any of us had ever encountered—but he used it now. He gripped my arm, rather than pushing me down. If he'd been pushing, the chair under me would have collapsed.

EASY!He ordered.

I tried to calm myself, but it was hard. The rage burned in my head.

Jasper's not going to do anything until we all talk. I just thought you should know the direction he's headed.

I concentrated on relaxing, and I felt Emmett's hand loosen.

Try not to make more of a spectacle of yourself. You're in enough trouble as it is.

I took a deep breath and Emmett released me.

I searched around the room routinely, but our confrontation had been so short and silent that only a few people sitting behind Emmett had even noticed. None of them knew what to make of it, and they shrugged it off. The Cullens were freaks—everyone knew that already.

Damn, kid, you're a mess,Emmett added, sympathy in his tone.

"Bite me," I muttered under my breath, and I heard his low chuckle.

Emmett didn't hold grudges, and I probably ought to be more grateful for his easy going nature. But I could see that Jasper's intentions made sense to Emmett, that he was considering how it might be the best course of action.

The rage simmered, barely under control. Yes, Emmett was stronger than I was, but he'd yet to beat me in a wrestling match. He claimed that this was because I cheated, but hearing thoughts was just as much a part of who I was as his immense strength was a part of him. We were evenly matched in a fight.

A fight? Was that where this was headed? Was I going to fight with myfamily over a human I barely knew?

I thought about that for a moment, thought about the fragile feel of the girl's body in my arms in juxtaposition with Jasper, Roy, and Emmett—supernaturally strong and fast, killing machines by nature...

Yes, I would fight for her. Against my family. I shuddered.

But it wasn't fair to leave her undefended when I was the one who'd put her in danger.

I couldn't win alone, though, not against the three of them, and I wondered who my allies would be.

Carlisle, certainly. He would not fight anyone, but he would be wholly against Roy's and Jasper's designs. That might be all I needed. I would see...

Esme, doubtful. She would not side against me either, and she would hate to disagree with Carlisle, but she would be for any plan that kept her family intact. Her first priority would not be rightness, but me. If Carlisle was the soul of our family, then Esme was the heart. He gave us a leader who deserved following; she made that following into an act of love. We all loved each other—even under the fury I felt toward Jasper and Roy right now, even planning to fight them to save the girl, I knew that I loved them.

Alice... I had no idea. It would probably depend on what she saw coming. She would side with the winner, I imagined.

So, I would have to do this without help. I wasn't a match for them alone, but I wasn't going to let the girl be hurt because of me. That might mean evasive action...

My rage dulled a bit with the sudden, black humor. I could imagine how the girl would react to my kidnapping her. Of course, I rarely guessed her reactions right—but what other reaction could she have besides terror?

I wasn't sure how to manage that, though—kidnapping her. I wouldn't be able to stand being close to her for very long. Perhaps I would just deliver her back to her mother. Even that much would be fraught with danger. For her.

And also for me, I realized suddenly. If I were to kill her by accident... I wasn't certain exactly how much pain that would cause me, but I knew it would be multifaceted and intense.

The time passed quickly while I mulled over all the complications ahead of me: the argument waiting for me at home, the conflict with my family, the lengths I might be forced to go to afterward...

Well, I couldn't complain that life outside this school was monotonous any more. Bella Swan had changed that much.

Emmett and I walked silently to the car when the bell rang. He was worrying about me, and worrying about Royal. He knew whose side he would have to choose in a quarrel, and it bothered him.

The others were waiting for us in the car, also silent. We were a very quiet group. Only I could hear the shouting.

Idiot! Lunatic! Moron! Jackass! Selfish, irresponsible fool!Royal kept up a constant stream of insults at the top of his mental lungs. It made it hard to hear the others, but I ignored him as best I could.

Emmett was right about Jasper. He was sure of his course.

Alice was troubled, worrying about Jasper, flipping through images of the future. No matter which direction Jasper came at the girl, Alice always saw me there, blocking him. Interesting...neither Royal nor Emmett was with him in these visions. So Jasper planned to work alone. That would even things up.

Jasper was the best, certainly the most experienced fighter among us. My one advantage lay in that I could hear his moves before he made them.

I had never fought more than playfully with Emmett or Jasper—just horsing around. I felt sick at the thought of really trying to hurt Jasper...

No, not that. Just to block him. That was all.

I concentrated on Alice, memorizing Jasper's different avenues of attack. As I did that, her visions shifted, moving further and further away from the Swan's house. I was cutting him off earlier...

Stop that, Edyth! It can't happen this way. I won't let it.

I didn't answer her, I just kept watching.

She began searching farther ahead, into the misty, unsure realm of distant possibilities. Everything was shadowy and vague.

The entire way home, the charged silence did not lift. I parked in the big garage off the house; Carlisle's Mercedes was there, next to Emmett's big jeep, Roy's M3 and my Vanquish. I was glad Carlisle was already home—this silence would end explosively, and I wanted him there when that happened.

We went straight to the dining room.

The room was, of course, never used for its intended purpose. But it was furnished with a long oval mahogany table surrounded by chairs—we were scrupulous about having all the correct props in place. Carlisle liked to use it as a conference room. In a group with such strong and disparate personalities, sometimes it was necessary to discuss things in a calm, seated manner.

I had a feeling that the setting was not going to help much today.

Carlisle sat in his usual seat at the eastern head of the room. Esme was beside him—they held hands on top of the table.

Esme's eyes were on me, their golden depths full of concern.

Stay.It was her only thought.

I wished I could smile at the woman who was truly a mother to me, but I had no reassurances for her now.

I sat on Carlisle's other side. Esme reached around him to put her free hand on my shoulder. She had no idea of what was about to start; she was just worrying about me.

Carlisle had a better sense of what was coming. His lips were pressed tightly together and his forehead was creased. The expression looked too old for his young face.

As everyone else sat, I could see the lines being drawn.

Royal sat directly across from Carlisle, on the other end of the long table. He glared at me, never looking away.

Emmett sat beside him, his face and thoughts both wry.

Jasper hesitated, and then went to stand against the wall behind Royal. He was decided, regardless of the outcome of this discussion. My teeth locked together.

Alice was the last to come in, and her eyes were focused on something far away— the future, still too indistinct for her to make use of it. Without seeming to think about it, she sat next to Esme. She rubbed her forehead as if she had a headache. Jasper twitched uneasily and considered joining her, but he kept his place.

I took a deep breath. I had started this—I should speak first.

"I'm sorry," I said, looking first at Roy, then Jasper and then Emmett. "I didn't mean to put any of you at risk. It was thoughtless, and I take full responsibility for my hasty action."

Royal glared at me balefully. "What do you mean, 'take full responsibility'? Are you going to fix it?"

"Not the way you mean," I said, working to keep my voice even and quiet. "I'm willing to leave now, if that makes things better."If I believe that the girl will be safe, if I believe that none of you will touch her, I amended in my head.

"No," Esme murmured. "No, Edyth."

I patted her hand. "It's just a few years."

"Esme's right, though," Emmett said. "You can't go anywhere now. That would be the opposite of helpful. We have to know what people are thinking, now more than ever."

"Alice will catch anything major," I disagreed.

Carlisle shook his head. "I think Emmett is right, Edyth. The girl will be more likely to talk if you disappear. It's all of us leave, or none of us."

"She won't say anything," I insisted quickly. Roy was building up to the explosion, and I wanted this fact out there first.

"You don't know her mind," Carlisle reminded me.

"I know this much. Alice, back me up."

Alice stared up at me wearily. "I can't see what will happen if we just ignore this." She glanced at Roy and Jasper.

No, she couldn't see that future—not when Royal and Jasper were so decided against ignoring the incident.

Royal's palm smacked down on the table with a loud bang. "We can't allow the human a chance to say anything. Carlisle, you must see that. Even if we decided to all disappear, it's not safe to leave stories behind us. We live so differently from the rest of our kind—you know there are those who would love an excuse to point fingers. We have to be more careful than anyone else!"

"We've left rumors behind us before," I reminded him.

"Just rumors and suspicions, Edyth. Not eyewitnesses and evidence!"

"Evidence!" I scoffed.

But Jasper was nodding, his eyes hard.

"Roy—" Carlisle began.

"Let me finish, Carlisle. It doesn't have to be any big production. The girl hit her head today. So maybe that injury turns out to be more serious that it looked." Royal shrugged. "Every mortal goes to sleep with the chance of never waking up. The others would expect us to clean up after ourselves. Technically, that would make it Edyth's job, but this is obviously beyond her. You know I'm capable of control. I would leave no evidence behind me."

"Yes, Royal, we all know how proficient an assassin you are," I snarled.

He hissed at me, furious.

"Edyth, please," Carlisle said. Then he turned to Royal. "Royal, I looked the other way in Rochester because I felt that you were owed your justice. The men you killed had wronged you monstrously. This is not the same situation. The Swan girl is an innocent."

"It's not personal, Carlisle," Royal said through his teeth. "It's to protect us all."

There was a brief moment of silence while Carlisle thought through his answer. When he nodded, Royal's eyes lit up. He should have known better. Even if I hadn't been able to read his thoughts, I could have anticipated his next words. Carlisle never compromised.

"I know you mean well, Royal, but...I'd like very much for our family to be worth protecting. The occasional...accident or lapse in control is a regrettable part of who we are." It was very like him to include himself in the plural, though he had never had such a lapse himself. "To murder a blameless human in cold blood is another thing entirely. I believe the risk she presents, whether she speaks her suspicions or not, is nothing to the greater risk. If we make exceptions to protect ourselves, we risk something much more important. We risk losing the essence of who we are."

I controlled my expression very carefully. It wouldn't do at all to grin. Or to applaud, as I wished I could.

Royal scowled. "It's just being responsible."

"It's being callous," Carlisle corrected gently. "Every life is precious."

Royal sighed heavily and his lower lip pouted out. Emmett squeezed his shoulder.

"It'll be fine, Roy," he encouraged in a low voice.

"The question," Carlisle continued, "is whether we should move on?"

"No," Royal moaned. "We just got settled. I don't want to start on my sophomore year in high school again!"

"You could keep your present age, of course," Carlisle said.

"And have to move again that much sooner?" he countered.

Carlisle shrugged.

"I like it here! There's so little sun, we get to be almost normal."

"Well, we certainly don't have to decide now. We can wait and see if it becomes necessary. Edyth seems certain of the Swan girl's silence."

Royal snorted.

But I was no longer worried about Roy. I could see that he would go along with Carlisle's decision, not matter how infuriated he was with me. Their conversation had moved on to unimportant details.

Jasper remained unmoved.

I understood why. Before he and Alice had met, he'd lived in a combat zone, a relentless theater of war. He knew the consequences of flouting the rules—he'd seen the grisly aftermath with his own eyes.

It said much that he had not tried to calm Royal down with his extra faculties, nor did he now try to rile him up. He was holding himself aloof from this discussion— above it.

"Jasper," I said.

He met my gaze, his face expressionless.

"She won't pay for my mistake. I won't allow that."

"She benefits from it, then? She should have died today, Edyth. I would only set that right."

I repeated myself, emphasizing each word. "I will not allow it."

His eyebrows shot up. He wasn't expecting this—he hadn't imagined that I would act to stop him.

He shook his head once. "I won't let Alice live in danger, even a slight danger. You don't feel about anyone the way I feel about her, Edyth, and you haven't lived through what I've lived through, whether you've seen my memories or not. You don't understand."

"I'm not disputing that, Jasper. But I'm telling you now, I won't allow you to hurt Isabella Swan."

We stared at each other—not glaring, but measuring the opposition. I felt him sample the mood around me, testing my determination.

"Jazz," Alice said, interrupting us.

He held my gaze for a moment more, and then looked at her. "Don't bother telling me you can protect yourself, Alice. I already know that. I've still got to—"

"That's not what I'm going say," Alice interrupted. "I was going to ask you for a favor."

I saw what was on her mind, and my mouth fell open with an audible gasp. I stared at her, shocked, only vaguely aware that everyone besides Alice and Jasper was now eyeing me warily.

"I know you love me. Thanks. But I would really appreciate it if you didn't try to kill Bella. First of all, Edyth's serious and I don't want you two fighting. Secondly, Bella is my friend. At least, she's going to be."

It was clear as glass in her head: Alice, smiling, with her icy white arm around the girl's warm, slim waist. And Bella was smiling, too, her arm around Alice's shoulder's.

The vision was rock solid; only the timing of it was unsure.

"But...Alice..." Jasper gasped. I couldn't manage to turn my head to see his expression. I couldn't tear myself away from the image in Alice's head in order to hear his.

"I'm going to love her someday, Jazz. I'll be very put out with you if you don't let her be."

I was still locked into Alice's thoughts. I saw the future shimmer as Jasper's resolve floundered in the face of her unexpected request.

"Ah," she sighed—his indecision had cleared a new future. "See? Bella's not going to say anything. There's nothing to worry about."

The way she said the girl's name...like they were already close confidants...

"Alice," I choked. "What...does this...?"

"I told you there was a change coming. I don't know, Edyth." But she locked her jaw, and I could see that there was more. She was trying not to think about it; she was focusing very hard on Jasper suddenly, though he was too stunned to have progressed much in his decision making.

She did this sometimes when she was trying to keep something from me. "What, Alice? What are you hiding?"

I heard Emmett grumble. He always got frustrated when Alice and I had these kinds of conversations.

She shook her head, trying to not let me in.

"Is it about the girl?" I demanded. "Is it about Bella?"

She had her teeth gritted in concentration, but when I spoke Bella's name, she slipped. Her slip only lasted the tiniest portion of a second, but that was long enough.

"NO!" I shouted. I heard my chair hit the floor, and only then realized I was on my feet.

"Edyth!" Carlisle was on his feet, too, his arm on my shoulder. I was barely aware of him.

"It's solidifying," Alice whispered. "Every minute you're more decided. There're really only two ways left for her. It's one or the other, Edyth."

I could see what she saw...but I could not accept it.

"No," I said again; there was no volume to my denial. My legs felt hollow, and I had to brace myself against the table.

"Will somebody please let the rest of us in on the mystery?" Emmett complained.

"I have to leave," I whispered to Alice, ignoring him.

"Edyth, we've already been over that," Emmett said loudly. "That's the best way to start the kid talking. Besides, if you take off, we won't know for sure if she's talking or not. You have to stay and deal with this."

"I don't see you going anywhere, Edyth," Alice told me. "I don't know if you can leave anymore."Think about it,she added silently.Think about leaving.

I saw what she meant. Yes, the idea of never seeing Bella again was...painful. But it was also necessary. I couldn't sanction either future I'd apparently condemned her to.

I'm not entirely sure of Jasper, Edyth,Alice went on.If you leave, if he thinks Bella is a danger to us...

"I don't hear that," I contradicted her, still only halfway aware of our audience.

Jasper was wavering. He would not do something that would hurt Alice.

Not right this moment. Will you risk her life, leave her undefended?

"Why are you doing this to me?" I groaned. My head fell into my hands.

I was not Bella's protector. I could not be that. Wasn't Alice's divided future enough proof of that?

I love her, too. Or I will. It's not the same, but I want her around for that.

"Love her too?" I whispered, incredulous.

She sighed.You aresoblind, Edyth. Can't you see where you're headed? Can't you see where you already are? It's more inevitable than the sun rising in the east. See what I see...

I shook my head, horrified. "No." I tried to shut out the visions she revealed to me. "I don't have to follow that course. I'll leave. I will change the future."

"You can try," she said, her voice skeptical.

"Oh,come on!" Emmett bellowed.

"Pay attention," Roy hissed at him. "Alice sees her falling for a human!How classically Edyth!" He made a gagging sound. I scarcely heard him.

"What?" Emmett said, startled. Then his booming laugh echoed through the room. "Is that what's been going on?" He laughed again. "Tough break, Edyth."

I felt his hand on my shoulder, and I shook it off absently. I couldn't pay attention to him.

"Fall for a human?" Esme repeated in a stunned voice. "For the girl she saved today? Fall in love with her?"

"What do you see, Alice? Exactly," Jasper demanded.

She turned toward him; I continued to stare numbly at the side of her face. "It all depends on whether she is strong enough or not.Either she'll kill Bella herself" —she turned to meet my gaze again, glaring— "which wouldreallyirritate me Edyth not to mention what it would do to you—" she faced Jasper again, "or Bella will be one of us someday."

Someone gasped; I didn't look to see who.

"That's not going to happen!" I was shouting again. "Either one!"

Alice didn't seem to hear me. "It all depends," she repeated. "She may be just strong enough not to kill her—but it will be close. It will take an amazing amount of control," she mused. "More even than Carlisle has. She may bejuststrong enough... The only thing she's not strong enough to do is stay away from her. That's a lost cause."

I couldn't find my voice. No one else seemed to be able to either. The room was still.

I stared at Alice, and everyone else stared at me. I could see my own horrified expression from five different viewpoints.

After a long moment, Carlisle sighed.

"Well, this...complicates things."

"I'll say," Emmett agreed. His voice was still close to laughter. Trust Emmett to find the joke in the destruction of my life.

"I suppose the plans remain the same, though," Carlisle said thoughtfully. "We'll stay, and watch. Obviously, no one will...hurt the girl."

I stiffened.

"No," Jasper said quietly. "I can agree to that. If Alice sees only two ways—"

"No!" My voice was not a shout or a growl or a cry of despair, but some combination of the three. "No!"

I had to leave, to be away from the noise of their thoughts—Royal's self- righteous disgust, Emmett's humor, Carlisle's never ending patience...

Worse: Alice's confidence. Jasper's confidence in that confidence. Worst of all: Esme's...joy.

I stalked out of the room. Esme touched my arm as I passed, but I didn't acknowledge the gesture.

I was running before I was out of the house. I cleared the river in one bound, and raced into the forest. The rain was back again, falling so heavily that I was drenched in a few moments. I liked the thick sheet of water—it made a wall between me and the rest of the world. It closed me in, let me be alone.

I ran due east, over and through the mountains without breaking my straight course, until I could see the lights of Seattle on the other side of the sound. I stopped before I touched the borders of human civilization.

Shut in by the rain, all alone, I finally made myself look at what I had done—at the way I had mutilated the future.

First, the vision of Alice and the girl with their arms around each other—the trust and friendship was so obvious it shouted from the image. Bella's wide blue eyes were not bewildered in this vision, but still full of secrets—in this moment, they seemed to be happy secrets. She did not flinch away from Alice's cold arm.

What did it mean? How much did she know? In that still-life moment from the future, what did she think ofme?

Then the other image, so much the same, yet now colored by horror. Alice and bella , their arms still wrapped around each other in trusting friendship. But now there was no difference between those arms—both were white, smooth as marble, hard as steel. Bella's wide eyes were no longer blue. The irises were a shocking, vivid crimson. The secrets in them were unfathomable—acceptance or desolation? It was impossible to tell. Her face was cold and immortal.

I shuddered. I could not suppress the questions, similar, but different: What did it mean—how had this come about? And what did she think of me now?

I could answer that last one. If I forced her into this empty half-life through my weakness and selfishness, surely she would hate me.

But there was one more horrifying image—worse than any image I'd ever held inside my head.

My own eyes, deep crimson with human blood, the eyes of the monster. Bella's broken body in my arms, ashy white, drained, lifeless. It was so concrete, so clear.

I couldn't stand to see this. Could not bear it. I tried to banish it from my mind, tried to see something else, anything else. Tried to see again the expression on her living face that had obstructed my view for the last chapter of my existence. All to no avail.

Alice's bleak vision filled my head, and I writhed internally with the agony it caused. Meanwhile, the monster in me was overflowing with glee, jubilant at the likelihood of his success. It sickened me.

This could not be allowed. There had to be a way to circumvent the future. I would not let Alice's visions direct me. I could choose a different path. There was always a choice.

There had to be


	8. invitations Bella pov

In my dream it was very dark, and what dim light there was seemed to be radiating from Edyth's skin. I couldn't see her face, just her back as she walked away from me, leaving me in the blackness. No matter how fast I ran, I couldn't catch up to her; no matter how loud I called, she never turned. Troubled, I woke in the middle of the night and couldn't sleep again for what seemed like a very long time. After that, she was in my dreams nearly every night, but always on the periphery, never within reach.

The month that followed the accident was uneasy, tense, and, at first, embarrassing.

To my dismay, I found myself the center of attention for the rest of that week. Taylor Crowley was impossible, following me around, obsessed with making amends to me somehow. I tried to convince her what I wanted more than anything else was for her to forget all about it— especially since nothing had actually happened to me— but she remained insistent. She followed me between classes and sat at our now-crowded lunch table. Makayla and Eric didn't seem to like that; they flashed more side-eye at her than they did at each other, which made me worry that I'd gained another unwelcome fan.

No one seemed concerned about Edyth, though I explained over and over that she was the hero— how she had pulled me out of the way and had nearly been crushed, too. I tried to be convincing. Jeremy, Makayla, Eric, and everyone else always commented that they hadn't even seen her there till the van was pulled away.

I wondered to myself why no one else had seen her standing so far away, before she was suddenly, impossibly saving my life. With chagrin, I realized the probable cause— no one else was as aware of Edyth as I always was. No one else watched her the way I did. How pitiful.

Edyth was never surrounded by crowds of curious bystanders eager for her firsthand account. People avoided her as usual. The Cullens and the Hales sat at the same table as always, not eating, talking only among themselves. None of them, especially Edyth, glanced my way anymore.

When she sat next to me in class, as far from me as the table would allow, she seemed totally unaware of my presence. Like my seat was empty. Only now and then, when her fists would suddenly ball up— skin stretched even whiter over the bones— did I wonder if she wasn't quite as oblivious as she appeared.

I wanted very much to talk to her, and the day after the accident I tried. The last time I'd seen her, outside the ER, we'd both been so agitated. I still was angry that she wouldn't trust me with the truth, even though I was keeping my part of the bargain flawlessly. But she had in fact saved my life, no matter how she'd done it. And, overnight, the heat of my anger faded and I began to realize that I hadn't really thanked her properly.

She was already seated when I got to Biology, looking straight ahead. I sat down, expecting her to turn toward me. She showed no sign that she realized I was there.

"Hello, Edyth," I said pleasantly, to show her I wasn't upset anymore.

She turned her head a fraction toward me without meeting my gaze, nodded once, and then looked the other way.

And that was the last contact I'd had with her, though she was there, a foot away from me, every day. I watched her sometimes, unable to stop myself— from a distance, though, in the cafeteria or parking lot. I watched as her golden eyes grew perceptibly darker day by day. Then abruptly they were honey-colored again. And the slow progression continued. But in class I gave no more notice that she existed than she showed toward me. I was miserable. And the dreams continued.

I tried to figure out her attitude and I kept coming back to the same thought; she wished she hadn't pushed me out of the way of Taylor's van. She said herself that day that she didn't know why she had saved me. The thought ate away at me.

Despite my outright lies, the tone of my e-mails alerted Renée to my depression, and she called a few times, worried. I tried to convince her it was just the weather that had me down.

Makayla, at least, was pleased by the obvious coolness between me and my lab partner. I mused that she'd been worried that Edyth's daring rescue might have made us best buddies, and she was relieved that it seemed to have the opposite effect. She grew more confident, sitting on the edge of my table to talk before Biology class started, ignoring Edyth as completely as she ignored us.

The snow washed away for good after that one dangerously icy day. Makayla was disappointed she'd never gotten to stage her snowball fight, but pleased that the beach trip would soon be possible. The rain continued heavily, though, and the weeks passed.

Jeremy made me aware of another event looming on the horizon— he called the first Tuesday of March to talk to me about the boys' choice spring dance in two weeks.

"So, just to be clear… you weren't planning on me asking you… right?" he asked carefully. "Because, I mean, we hang out a lot but I assumed…" his voice trailed off.

"I wasn't planning on you asking me, Jeremy." I was somewhat surprised he thought there was the possibility that I would want him to.

"I always figured you were…" he stopped short to rethink his phrasing, "I mean when I first met you I guessed… uh, that I wasn't your type?" he said it so delicately, like he was afraid of offending me.

There was a silence for a moment and then we both laughed.

"You're right. You're not my type, Jeremy." I couldn't help but smile. "But thanks for thinking of me."

"If you need help finding a date…" I think he realized he didn't have a solid idea of who I could even go with, "I'm sure we could find someone!" he said hopefully.

"No, Jeremy, I'm not going," I assured him. Dancing was glaringly outside my range of abilities.

"It will be really fun." His attempt to convince me sounded more sympathetic than anything, like the thought of me being there without a date would be awful but he didn't want me to feel bad. Then again maybe those were just my own feelings.

"Who are you thinking of asking?" I tried to change the subject.

"Well, I was thinking of asking Makayla." I could tell he was smiling widely.

"Makayla Newton?" Uh oh. I still hadn't determined if Makayla constantly following me around was just her being overly friendly or something more.

"Yeah! She's just so cute," he was clearly excited, "She hangs out with you a lot, what do you think?"

I didn't want to say that I thought Makayla might not be interested him in the same way I wasn't interested, but at the same time he had sensed where my attractions lie fairly quickly so maybe I was wrong.

"You have fun with Makayla," I encouraged.

The next day, I was surprised that Jeremy wasn't his usual gushing self in Trig and Spanish. he was silent as he walked by my side between classes, and I was afraid to ask him why. If Makayla had turned him down, it meant I was right but I hoped I was wrong, for Jeremy's sake.

My fears were strengthened during lunch when Jeremy sat as far from Makayla as possible, chatting animatedly with Taylor. Makayla was unusually quiet.

Makayla was still quiet as she walked me to class, the uncomfortable look on her face a bad sign. But she didn't broach the subject until I was in my seat and she was perched on my desk. As always, I was electrically aware of Edyth sitting close enough to touch, as distant as if she were merely an invention of my imagination.

"So," Makayla said, looking at the floor, "Jeremy asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great." I made my voice bright and enthusiastic. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jeremy."

"Well…" She floundered as she examined my smile, clearly not happy with my response. "I told him I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" I let disapproval color my tone, though I was relieved she hadn't given him an absolute no.

Her face was bright red as she looked down again. I began to feel nervous.

"I was wondering if… well, I was thinking maybe we could… you know… You and me could… go." If it was possible, her face got even redder. "Like, stag. Go stag. Together."

I paused for a moment, feeling horribly awkward. I hoped my face didn't betray how I felt. From the corner of my eye, I saw Edyth's head tilt reflexively in my direction.

"Makayla, I think you should tell him yes," was all I could think to say.

"Did someone already ask you to go?" Did Edyth notice how Makayla's eyes flickered in her direction?

"No," I assured her. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

"Why not?" Makayla demanded.

I didn't want to get into the safety hazards that dancing presented, so I quickly made new plans.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," I explained. I needed to get out of town anyway— it was suddenly the perfect time to go.

"Can't you go some other weekend?"

"Sorry, no," I said. "So you shouldn't make Jeremy wait any longer— it's rude."

"Yeah, you're right," she mumbled, and turned, dejected, to walk back to her seat.

I closed my eyes and pressed my fingers to my temples, trying to push the guilt and sympathy out of my head. What a mess, even though Makayla didn't outright ask me I couldn't help but feel bad. Not just for her, but for Jeremy, too, who clearly liked her. Mrs. Banner began talking. I sighed and opened my eyes.

And Edyth was staring at me curiously, that same, familiar edge of frustration even more distinct now in her black eyes.

I stared back, surprised, expecting her to look quickly away. But instead she continued to gaze with probing intensity into my eyes, like she was trying to find something very important inside them. There was no question of me looking away. My hands started to shake.

"Ms. Cullen?" the teacher called, seeking the answer to a question that I hadn't heard.

"The Krebs Cycle," Edyth answered, seeming reluctant as she turned to look at Mrs. Banner.

I looked down at my book as soon as her eyes released me, trying to find my place. I couldn't believe the rush of emotion pulsing through me— just because she'd happened to look at me for the first time in six weeks. I couldn't allow her to have this level of influence over me. It was pathetic. More than pathetic, it was unhealthy.

I tried very hard not to be aware of her for the rest of the hour, and, since that was impossible, at least not to let her know that I was aware of her. When the bell rang at last, I turned my back to her to gather my things, expecting her to leave immediately as usual.

"Bella?"

Her voice shouldn't have been so familiar to me, as if I'd known the sound of it all my life rather than for just a few short weeks.

I turned slowly toward her, not wanting to feel what I knew Iwould feel when I looked at her too-perfect face. I'm sure my expression was guarded; hers was unreadable.

She didn't say anything.

"Yes?" I asked.

She just looked at me.

"So are you or are you not speaking to me again?" I finally asked with an unintended but slightly petulant tone to my voice.

Her lips twitched, fighting a smile.

"No, not really," she admitted.

"Okay." I closed my eyes and sighed. She waited.

"Then what do you want, Edyth?" I asked, keeping my eyes closed; it was easier to talk to her coherently that way.

"I'm sorry." She sounded sincere. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

I opened my eyes. Her face was very serious.

"I don't know what you mean," I said, my voice hesitant.

"It's better if we're not friends," she explained. "Trust me."

My eyes narrowed. I'd heard that before.

She seemed surprised by my reaction.

"What are you thinking?" She asked, her voice seemed softer but I could see frustration in her face.

"I guess… It's just too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," I sighed, again. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."

"Regret?" My answer seemed to have caught her off guard. "Regret for what?"

"For not just letting Taylor's van crush me."

She looked completely shocked. She stared at me in disbelief for a moment and when she finally spoke she almost sounded mad.

"You think I regret saving your life?" the words were quiet, but intense.

"I can tell that you do," I was exhausted by her mood swings, "I just don't know why."

"You don't know anything." She was definitely mad.

I had reached my limit. Her mood swings were too much for me to deal with today. I gathered my books together, then stood and walked to the door. I needed to be out of the room—make a point with a dramatic exit—but of course I caught the toe of my boot on the doorjamb and dropped my books. I stood there for a moment, thinking about leaving them. Then I sighed and bent to pick them up. She was there; she'd already stacked them into a pile. She handed them to me, her face hard.

"Thank you," I mumbled.

"You're welcome," she answered. She still sounded mad, but there was something else in her voice that I couldn't quite identify.

I straightened up swiftly, and hurried off to Gym without looking back.

Gym was brutal. We'd moved on to basketball. My team never passed me the ball, so that was good, but I fell down a lot. Sometimes I took people with me. Today I was worse than usual because my head was so filled with Edyth. I tried to concentrate on my feet, but she kept creeping back into my thoughts just when I really needed my balance.

It was a relief, as always, to leave. I couldn't wait to be back inside my truck, alone. The truck was in decent shape after the accident, all things considered. I'd had to replace the taillights, and if the paint job wasn't already hopeless, I would have touched up the new scrapes. Taylor's parents had to sell their van for parts.

I almost had a stroke when I rounded the corner and saw a figure leaning against the side of my truck. Then I quickly realized it was just Eric. I started walking again.

"Hey, Eric," I called.

"Hi, Bella."

"What's up?" I said as I fumbled with my keys. I wasn't paying attention to the uncomfortable edge in his voice, so his next words took me by surprise.

"Uh, I was just wondering… if you would go to the spring dance with me?"

"I'm… I'm not going to the dance, Eric." I said, too startled to be diplomatic.

I had to turn and look at him then. Hs face was down, his black hair hiding his eyes.

"Oh, okay."

I recovered my composure and tried to make him feel better. "Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day."

"Oh," he said. "Well, maybe next time."

"Sure," I said without thinking. I didn't want to encourage him to pursue the impossible.

"See ya," He waved over his shoulder as he hurried off before I could set things straight.

I heard a low chuckle.

Edyth was walking past the front of my truck, looking straight forward, her lips pressed together. I jerked the door open and jumped inside, slamming it a little too hard behind me. I revved the deafening engine and reversed out into the aisle. Edyth was in her car already, two spaces down, sliding out smoothly in front of me, cutting me off. She stopped there— to wait for her family; I could see the four of them walking this way, but still by the cafeteria. I considered taking out the rear of her shiny Volvo as revenge for her ridiculous mood swings, but there were too many witnesses. I looked in my rearview mirror. A line was beginning to form. Directly behind me, Taylor Crowley was in her recently acquired used Sentra, waving. I was too preoccupied with my thoughts to acknowledge her.

While I was sitting there, looking everywhere but at the car in front of me, I heard a knock on my passenger side window. I looked over; it was Taylor. I glanced back in my rearview mirror, confused. Her car was still running, the door left open. I leaned across the cab to crank the window down. It was stiff. I got it halfway down, then gave up.

"I'm sorry, Taylor, I'm stuck behind Cullen." I gestured to the Volvo. Obviously there was nothing I could do.

"Oh, I know— I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here." She grinned.

I sighed, "Oh? What?"

"Will you go with me to the spring dance?" she continued.

What was going on in this school? I knew for a fact that Taylor had a reputation for being a flirt with the boys. Unlike Makayla, I knew for certain she wasn't interested in boys.

"I'm not going to be in town, Taylor." My face was red. I could tell.

"Yeah, Makayla said that," she grinned.

"Then why—"

She shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting her down easy."

"I wasn't." I was having trouble hiding my frustration, "besides, wouldn't you rather go with a boy?"

"Usually, but I thought maybe you'd like to have someone to go with as a date instead of going stag." Her self-assured cockiness would normally charm me in different circumstances, but today it just added to my annoyance.

"Sorry, Taylor," I said, working to hide my irritation. "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool. We still have prom."

And before I could respond, she was walking back to her car. I could feel the shock on my face. I looked forward to see Alice, Royal, Emmett, and Jasper all sliding into the Volvo. In her rearview mirror, Edyth's eyes were on me. She was unquestionably shaking with laughter, as if she'd heard every word Taylor had said. I revved the engine, wondering how much damage it would do to the Volvo and the black car beside it if I just muscled my way through and made my escape. I was pretty sure my truck could win that fight.

But they were all in, and Edyth was speeding away. I drove home slowly, carefully, and thoroughly confused. Was Makayla going to ask Jeremy to the dance? Would he blame me if she didn't? Was Taylor serious about taking me to the dance? Or prom? At least fretting over all this drama kept my mind off Edyth.

When I got home, I decided to make chicken enchiladas for dinner. It was a long process, and it would keep me busy. While I was simmering the onions and chilies, the phone rang. I was almost afraid to answer it, but it might be Charlie or my mom.

It was Jeremy, and he was jubilant; Makayla had caught him after school to accept his invitation. I celebrated with him briefly while I stirred. Maybe Makayla liked boys after all. He had to go; he wanted to call Allen and Lauren to tell them. I suggested— with casual innocence— that Logan, a reserved, intelligent boy who had rarely spoke to me at the lunch table, could ask Taylor; I'd heard she was still available. Jeremy thought that was a great idea. He still sincerely wished I would go to the dance. I gave him my Seattle excuse.

After I hung up, I tried to concentrate on dinner— dicing the chicken carefully; I didn't want to take another trip to the emergency room. But my head was spinning, trying to analyze every word Edyth had spoken today. What did she mean when she said it was better if we weren't friends?

My stomach twisted in knots as I realized what she must have meant. She must see how absorbed I was by her; she must not want to lead me on… so we couldn't even be friends… because she wasn't interested in me at all.

Of course she wasn't interested in me, I thought dejectedly, my eyes stinging— a delayed reaction to the onions. Besides, even if she liked girls, I wasn't interesting. And she was. Interesting… and brilliant… and mysterious… and perfect… and beautiful… and possibly able to lift full-sized vans with one hand.

Well, that was fine. I could leave her alone. I would leave her alone. I would get through my self-imposed sentence here in purgatory, and then hopefully some school in the Southwest, or possibly Hawaii, would offer me a scholarship. I focused my thoughts on sunny beaches and palm trees as I finished the enchiladas and put them in the oven.

Charlie seemed suspicious when he came home and smelled the green peppers. My mom was famous for her disastrous Mexican food. But he was still game to take the first bite. He seemed to like it. It was fun to watch as he slowly began trusting me in the kitchen.

"Dad?" I asked when he was almost done.

"Yeah, Bella?"

"Um, I just wanted to let you know that I'm going to Seattle for the day a week from Saturday… if that's okay?" I didn't want to ask permission— it set a bad precedent— but I felt rude, so I tacked it on at the end.

"Why?" He sounded surprised, as if he were unable to imagine something that Forks couldn't offer.

"Well, I wanted to get a few books— the library here is pretty limited— and maybe look at some better winter clothes." I had more money than I was used to having, since, thanks to Charlie, I hadn't had to pay for a car. Not that the truck didn't cost me quite a bit in the gas department.

"That truck probably doesn't get very good gas mileage," he said, echoing my thoughts.

"I know, I'll stop in Montesano and Olympia— and Tacoma if I have to."

"Are you going all by yourself?"

"Yes."

"Seattle is a big city— you could get lost," he fretted.

"Dad, Phoenix is five times the size of Seattle— and I can read a map, don't worry about it."

"Do you want me to come with you?"

I wondered if he was really that worried about me, or if he just thought all the Saturdays he'd left me alone were starting to add up to neglect. He was probably worried. I was sure that, in his head, he still pictured me as a five-year-old most of the time.

"That's okay, dad. It probably won't be that exciting, anyway."

"Okay, Bella."

"Thanks." I smiled at him.

"Will you be back in time for the dance?"

I just stared back at him until he got it.

It didn't take him long. "Oh, that's right," he realized.

"Yeah." I laughed. I didn't get my balance issues from my mom.

The next morning, when I pulled into the parking lot, I deliberately parked as far as possible from the silver Volvo. I didn't want to see her. I wanted to keep my distance, to not notice her anymore.

Getting out of the cab, I fumbled with my key and it fell into a puddle at my feet. As I bent to get it, a white hand flashed out and grabbed it before I could. I jerked upright. Edyth Cullen was right next to me, leaning casually against my truck.

"How do you do that?" I gasped.

"Do what?" She held my key out as she spoke. As I reached for it, she dropped it into my palm.

"Appear out of thin air."

"Bella, it's not my fault if you are exceptionally unobservant." Her voice was quiet as usual— velvet, muted. Her lips were holding back a smile, like she thought I was hilarious.

I glared at her perfect face. How was I supposed to ignore her if she kept talking to me? Wasn't she the one that said it would be better if we weren't friends? Her eyes were light again today, a deep, golden honey color. I had to look down to reassemble my now-tangled thoughts.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" It was the only thing I could think to say. "I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist."

"That was for Taylors sake, not mine. I had to give her her chance." She snickered.

"What?" I asked, perplexed. Irritation started to grow in my mind; had she put Taylor up to asking me to the dance? That didn't seem likely. My confusion seemed to amuse her.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," she continued.

I met her eyes, trying to remain as focused as I could despite myself. "I don't know what you want from me," I told her.

Her amused expression quickly disappeared. Her face seemed guarded.

"Nothing." She said too quickly, almost like she was lying.

"Then you probably should have let the van take me out. Easier that way."

She stared for a second. Her lips pressed into a hard line, all signs of humor gone.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd," she said, her low voice cold.

My stomach was in the tightest of knots. I turned my back and started to walk away.

"Wait," she called.

I kept walking, sloshing through the rain and forcing myself not to look back. But she was next to me, easily keeping pace.

"I'm sorry, that was rude," she said as we walked.

I ignored her.

"I'm not saying it isn't true," she continued, "but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?" I grumbled.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me," she chuckled. She seemed to have recovered her good humor.

I sighed, but I slowed down. "Fine, then. What do you want to ask?"

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday— you know, the day of the spring dance—"

"Are you trying to befunny?" I interrupted her, wheeling toward her. My face got drenched from the rain as I looked up at her expression.

Her eyes were wickedly amused. "Will you please allow me to finish?"

Walk away,I told myself.

I didn't move.

"I heard you say you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride."

That was unexpected.

"What?" I wasn't sure what she was getting at.

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?"

"With who?" I asked, mystified.

"Myself, obviously." She enunciated every syllable, like she thought maybe English wasn't my first language.

I was still stunned. "Why?"

"Well, I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it."

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern." I started to walk again, hoping she wouldn't follow. She did.

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?" She matched my pace again.

"I don't see how that is any of your business." Stupid, shiny Volvo owner.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Edyth." I felt a thrill go through me as I said her name, and I didn't like it. "I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh, thanks, now that's all cleared up." I said, my voice rich with sarcasm. I realized I had stopped walking again. We were under the shelter of the cafeteria roof now, so I could more easily look at her face. Which certainly didn't help my clarity of thought.

"It would be more… prudentfor you not to be my friend," she explained. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella."

Her eyes were gloriously intense as she uttered that last sentence, her voice smoldering. I couldn't remember how to breathe.

"Will you go with me to Seattle?" she asked, her voice still intense.

I couldn't speak yet, so I just nodded.

She smiled briefly, and then her face became serious.

"You reallyshouldstay away from me," she warned. "I'll see you in class."

She turned abruptly and walked back the way we'd come


	9. invitations Edyth pov

High school. Purgatory no longer, it was no purely hell. Torment and fire… yes, I had both.

I was doing everything correctly now. Every 'i' dotted, ever 't' crossed. No one could complain that I was shirking my responsibilities.

To please Esme and protect the others, I stayed in Forks. I returned to my old schedule. I hunted no more than the rest of them. Everyday, I attended high school and played human. Everyday, I listened carefully for anything new about the Cullens—there never was anything new. Bella Swan did not speak one word of her suspicions. She just repeated the same story again and again—I'd been standing with her and then pulled her out of the way—till her eager listeners got bored and stopped looking for more details. There was no danger. My hasty action had hurt no one.

No one but myself.

I was determined to change the future. Not the easiest task to set for oneself, but there was no other choice that I could live with.

Alice said that I would not be strong enough to stay away from the girl. I would prove her wrong.

I'd thought the first day would be the hardest. By the end of it, I'd been sure that was the case. I'd been wrong, though.

It had rankled, knowing that I would hurt the girl. I'd comforted myself with the fact that her pain would be nothing more than a pinprick—just a tiny sting of rejection—compared to mine. Bella was human, and she knew that I was something else, something wrong, something frightening. She would probably be more relieved than wounded when I turned my face away from her and pretended that she didn't exist.

"Hello, Edyth," she'd greeted me, that first day back in biology. Her voice had been pleasant, friendly, one hundred and eighty degrees from the last time I'd spoken with her.

Why? What did the change mean? Had she forgotten? Decided she had imagined the whole episode? Could she possibly have forgiven me for not following through on my promise?

The questions had burned like the thirst that attacked me every time I breathed.

Just one moment to look in her eyes. Just to see if I could read the answers there…

No. I could not allow myself even that. Not if I was going to change the future.

I'd moved my chin an inch in her direction without looking away form the front of the room. I'd nodded once, and then turned my face straight forward.

She did not speak to me again.

That afternoon, as soon as school was finished, my role played, I ran to Seattle as I had the day before. It seemed that I could handle the aching just slightly better when I was flying over the ground, turning everything around me into a green blur.

This run became my daily habit.

Did I love her? I did not think so. Not yet. Alice's glimpses of that future had stuck with me, though, and I could see how easy it would be to fall into loving Bella. It would be exactly like falling: effortless. Not letting myself love her was the opposite of falling—it was pulling myself up a cliff-face, hand over hand, the task as grueling as if I had no more than mortal strength.

More than a month passed, and every day it got harder. That made no sense to me—I kept waiting to get over it, to have it get easier. This must be what Alice had meant when she'd predicted that I would not be able to stay away from Bella. She had seen the escalation of pain. But I could handle pain.

I would not destroy Bella's future. If I was destined to love her, then wasn't avoiding her the very least I could do?

Avoiding her was about the limit of what I could bear, though. I could pretend to ignore her, and never look her way. I could pretend that she was of no interest to me. But that was the extent, just pretense and not reality.

I still hung on every breath she took, every word she said.

I lumped my torments into four categories.

The first two were familiar. Her scent and her silence. Or, rather—to take the responsibility on myself where it belonged—my thirst and my curiosity.

The thirst was the most primal of my torments. It was my habit now to simply not breathe at all in Biology. Of course, there were always the exceptions—when I had to answer a question or something of the sort, and I would need my breath to speak. Each time I tasted the air around the girl, it was the same as the first day—fire and need and brutal violence desperate to break free. It was hard to cling even slightly to reason or restraint in those moments. And, just like that first day, the monster in me would roar, so close to the surface…

The curiosity was the most constant of my torments. The question was never out of my mind:What is she thinking now?When I heard her quietly sigh. When she absently ran her fingers through her hair. When she threw her books down with more force than usual. When she rushed to class late. When she tapped her foot impatiently against the floor. Each movement caught in my peripheral vision was a maddening mystery.

When she spoke to the other human students, I analyzed her every word and tone. Was she speaking her thoughts, or what she thought she should say? It often sounded to me like she was trying to say what her audience expected, and this reminded me of my family and our daily life of illusion—we were better at it than she was. Unless I was wrong about that, just imagining things. Why would she have to play a role? She was one of them—a human teenager.

Makayla Newton was the most surprising of my torments. Who would have ever dreamed that such a generic, boring mortal could be so infuriating? To be fair, I should have felt some gratitude to the annoying girl; more than the others, she kept Bella talking. I learned so much about her through these conversations—I was still compiling my list—but, contrarily, Makayla's assistance with this project only aggravated me more. I didn't want Makayla to be the one that unlocked Bella Swan's secrets. I wanted to do that.

It helped that the Newton girl never noticed Bella's small revelations, her little slips. She knew nothing about her. She'd created a Bella in her head that didn't exist—a girl just as generic as she was. She hadn't observed the unselfishness and bravery that set Bella apart from other humans, she didn't hear the abnormal maturity of Bella's spoken thoughts. She didn't perceive that when Bella spoke of her mother, she sounded like the parent speaking of a child rather than the other way around—loving, indulgent, slightly amused, and fiercely protective. She didn't hear the patience in Bella's voice when she feigned interest in her rambling stories, and didn't guess at the kindness behind that patience.

Though her conversations with Makayla, I was able to add the most important quality to my list, the most revealing of them all, as simple as it was rare. Bella was good. All the other things added up to that whole—kind and self-effacing and unselfish and loving and brave—she was good through and through.

These helpful discoveries did not warm me to the Newton girl, however. The possessive way she viewed Bella—as if she were an acquisition to be made—provoked me almost as much as her crude fantasies about her. She was becoming more confident of Bella, too, as the time passed, for Bella seemed to prefer her over those Makayla considered her rivals—Taylor Crowley, Eric Yorkie, and even, sporadically, myself. She would routinely sit on Bella's side of our table before class began, chatting at her, encouraged by her smiles. Just polite smiles, I told myself. All the same, I frequently amused myself by imagining backhanding her across the room and into the far wall… it probably wouldn't injure her fatally…

Makayla didn't often think of me as a rival. After the accident, she'd worried that Bella and I would bond from the shared experience, but obviously the opposite had resulted. Back then, she had still been bothered that I'd singled Bella out over her peers for attention. But now I ignored her just as thoroughly as the others, and she grew complacent.

What was Bella thinking now? Did she welcome Makayla's attention?

And, finally, the last of my torments, the most painful: Bella's indifference. As I ignored her, she ignored me. She never tried to speak to me again. For all I knew, she never thought about me at all.

This might have driven me mad—or even broken my resolution to change the future—except that she sometimes stared at me like she had before. I didn't see it for myself, as I could not allow myself to look at her, but Alice always warned us when she was about to stare; the others were still wary of the girl's problematic knowledge.

It eased some of the pain that she gazed at me from across a distance, every now and then. Of course, she could just be wondering what kind of a freak I was.

"Bella is going to stare at Edyth in a minute. Look normal," Alice said one Tuesday in March, and the others were careful to fidget and shift their weight like humans; absolute stillness was a marker of our kind.

I paid attention to how often she looked my direction. It pleased me, though it should not, that the frequency did not decline as the time passed. I didn't know what it meant, but it made me feel better.

Alice sighed.I wish…

"Stay out of it, Alice," I said under my breath. "It's not going to happen."

She pouted. Alice was anxious to form her envisioned friendship with Bella. In a strange way, she missed the girl she didn't know.

I'll admit, you're better than I thought. You've got the future all snarled up and senseless again. I hope you're happy.

"It makes plenty of sense to me."

She snorted delicately.

I tried to shut her out, too impatient for conversation. I wasn't in a very good mood—tenser than I let any of them see. Only Jasper was aware of how tightly wound I was, feeling the stress emanate out of me with his unique ability to both sense and influence the moods of others. He didn't understand the reasons behind the moods, though, and—since I was constantly in a foul mood these days—he disregarded it.

Today would be a hard one. Harder than the day before, as was the pattern.

Makayla Newton, the odious girl whom I could not allow myself to rival, was going to ask Bella on a date.

A boy's choice dance was on the near horizon, and she'd gotten in her head to convince Bella to go with her. She currently found herself in an uncomfortable bind—I enjoyed her discomfort more than I should—because Jeremy Stanley had just asked her to the dance. She didn't want to say "yes," thereby missing the chance to attend with Bella, but she didn't want to say "no" at the same time. I suppose I could pity the girl in some way; she was still coming to terms with herself and that confusion—that lack of true self-awareness—made her life more difficult than it needed to be. So, in her confusion she had decided to spurn Jeremy and convince Bella they should go together—'stag,' as it were.

Meanwhile, Jeremy, hurt by her hesitation and not understanding the reason behind it, had considered asking Bella himself after all, but they had apparently talked about it and decided that they wouldn't go together, after all.

To think it had come to this! I was utterly fixated on the petty high school dramas that I'd once held so in contempt.

Makayla was working up her nerve as she walked Bella to biology. I listened to her struggles as I waited for them to arrive. The Newton girl was weak. She had waited for this dance purposely, afraid to make her infatuation known before Bella had shown a marked preference for her. She didn't want to make herself vulnerable to rejection, or exposing her preferences outright, preferring that Bella make that leap first.

Coward.

She sat down on our table again, comfortable with long familiarity, and I imagined the sound it would make if her body hit the opposite wall with enough force to break most of her bones.

"So," she said to Bella, her eyes on the floor. "Jeremy asked me to the spring dance."

"That's great," Bella answered immediately and with enthusiasm. It was hard not to smile as her tone sunk in to Makayla's awareness. She'd been hoping for dismay. "You'll have a lot of fun with Jeremy."

She scrambled for the right response. "Well…" she hesitated, and almost chickened out. Then she rallied. "I told him I had to think about it."

"Why would you do that?" Bella demanded. Her tone was one of disapproval, but there was the faintest hint of relief there as well.

What did that mean? An unexpected, intense fury made my hands clench into fists.

Makayla did not hear the relief. Her face was red with blood—fierce as I suddenly felt, this seemed like an invitation—and she looked at the floor again as she spoke.

"I was wondering if… well, I was thinking maybe we could… you know… You and me could… go." Her face flushed a deeper red. "Like, stag. Go stag. Together."

Bella hesitated.

In that moment of her hesitation, I saw the future more clearly than Alice ever had.

The girl might say yes to Makayla's question now, and she might not, but either way, someday soon, she would say yes to someone. She was beautiful and intriguing, and her fellow humans were not oblivious to this fact. Whether she would settle for someone in this lackluster crowd, or wait until she was free from Forks, the day would come that she would say yes.

I saw her life as I had before—college, career… love, marriage. I saw her in a fine dress again, a rose pinned to her dress, her face flushed with happiness as she moved down the aisle.

The pain was more than anything I'd felt before. A human would have to be on the point of death to feel this pain—a human would not live through it.

And not just pain, but outrightrage.

The fury ached for some kind of physical outlet. Though this insignificant, undeserving girl might not be the one that Bella would say yes to, I yearned to crush her skull in my hand, to let her stand as a representative for whoever it would be.

I didn't understand this emotion—it was such a tangle of pain and rage and desire and despair. I had never felt it before; I couldn't put a name to it.

"Makayla, I think you should tell him yes," Bella said in a gentle voice.

Makayla's hopes plummeted. I would have enjoyed that under other circumstances, but I was lost in the aftershock of the pain—and the remorse for what the pain and rage had done to me.

Alice was right. I was not strong enough.

Right now, Alice would be watching the future spin and twist, become mangled again. Would this please her?

"Did someone already ask you to go?" Makayla asked sullenly. She glanced at me, suspicious for the first time in many weeks. I realized I had betrayed my interest; my head was inclined in Bella's direction.

The wild envy in her thoughts—envy for whoever Bella preferred to her—suddenly put a name to my unnamed emotion.

I was jealous.

"No," Bella said with a trace of humor in her voice. "I'm not going to the dance at all."

Through all the remorse and anger, I felt relief at her words. Suddenly, I was considering my rivals.

"Why not?" Makayla asked, her tone almost rude. It offended me that she used this tone with Bella. I bit back a growl.

"I'm going to Seattle that Saturday," she answered.

The curiosity was not as vicious as it would have been before—now that I was fully intending to find out the answers to everything. I would know the wheres and whys of this new revelation soon enough.

Makayla's tone turned unpleasantly wheedling. "Can't you go some other weekend?"

"Sorry, no." Bella was brusquer now. "So you shouldn't make Jeremy wait any longer—it's rude."

Her concern for Jeremy's feelings fanned the flames of my jealousy. This Seattle trip was clearly an excuse to say no—did she refuse purely out of loyalty to her friend? She was more than selfless enough for that. Did she actually wish she could say yes? Or were both guesses wrong? Was she interested in someone else?

"Yeah, you're right," Makayla mumbled, so demoralized that I almost felt pity for her. Almost.

She dropped her eyes from the girl, cutting my view of her face in her thoughts.

I wasn't going to tolerate that.

I turned to read Bella's face myself, for the first time in more than a month. It was a sharp relief to allow myself this, like a gasp of air to long-submerged human lungs.

Her eyes were closed, and her hands pressed against the sides of her face. Her shoulders curved inward defensively. She shook her head ever so slightly, as if she were trying to push some thought from her mind.

Frustrating. Fascinating.

Mrs. Banner's voice pulled her from her reverie, and her eyes slowly opened. She looked at me immediately, perhaps sensing my gaze. She stared up into my eyes with the same bewildered expression that had haunted me for so long.

I didn't feel the remorse or the guilt or the rage in that second. I knew they would come again, and come soon, but for this one moment I rode a strange, jittery high. As if I had triumphed, rather than lost.

She didn't look away, though I stared with inappropriate intensity, trying vainly to read her thoughts through her silvery blue eyes. They were full of questions, rather than answers.

I could see the reflection of my own eyes, and I saw that they were black with thirst. It had been nearly two weeks since my last hunting trip; this was not the safest day for my will to crumble. But the blackness did not seem to frighten her. She still did not look away, and a soft, devastatingly appealing pink began to color her skin.

What was she thinking now?

I almost asked the question aloud, but at that moment Mrs. Banner called my name. I picked the correct answer out of her head while I glanced briefly in her direction.

I sucked in a quick breath. "The Krebs Cycle."

Thirst scorched down my throat—tightening my muscles and filling my mouth with venom—and I closed my eyes, trying to concentrate through the desire for her blood that raged inside me.

The monster was stronger than before. The monster was rejoicing. He embraced this dual future that gave him an even, fifty-fifty chance at what he craved so viciously. The third, shaky future I'd tried to construct through willpower alone had crumbled—destroyed by common jealousy, of all things—and he was so much closer to his goal.

The remorse and the guilt burned with the thirst, and, if I'd had the ability to produce tears, they would have filled my eyes now.

What had I done?

Knowing the battle was already lost, there seemed to be no reason to resist what I wanted; I turned to stare at the girl again.

She was staring down at her book, but I could see the deep crimson stain of her cheek.

The monster liked that.

She did not meet my gaze again, but she ran her fingers through her hair, catching a dark strand and twisting it nervously between her fingers. Her delicate fingers, her fragile wrist—they were so breakable, looking for all the world like just my breath could snap them.

No, no, no. I could not do this. She was too breakable, too good, too precious to deserve this fate. I couldn't allow my life to collide with hers, to destroy it.

But I couldn't stay away from her either. Alice was right about that.

The monster inside me hissed with frustration as I wavered, leaning first one way, then the other.

My brief hour with her passed all too quickly, as I vacillated between the rock and the hard place. The bell rang, and she started collecting her things without looking at me. This disappointed me, but I could hardly expect otherwise. The way I had treated her since the accident was inexcusable.

"Bella?" I said, unable to stop myself. My willpower already lay in shreds.

She hesitated before looking at me; when she turned, her expression was guarded, distrustful.

I reminded myself that she had every right to distrust me. That she should.

She waited for me to continue, but I just stared at her, reading her face. I pulled in shallow mouthfuls of air at regular intervals, fighting my thirst

"Yes?" she finally said.

I felt silenced by her eyes.

"So are you or are you not speaking to me again?" There was an edge of petulance to her tone that was charming. The way it radiated through her beautiful blue eyes was fascinating. It made me want to smile.

I wasn't sure how to answer her question.WasI speaking to her again, in the sense that she meant?

No. Not if I could help it. I would try to help it.

"No, not really," I told her.

"Okay."

She closed her eyes, which frustrated me. It cut off my best avenue of access to her feelings. She took a long, slow breath without opening her eyes. Her jaw was locked.

Eyes still closed, she spoke. Surely this was not a normal human way to converse. Why did she do it?

"Then what do you want, Edyth?"

The sound of my name on her lips did strange things to my body. If I'd had a heartbeat, it would have quickened.

But how to answer her?

With the truth, I decided. I would be as truthful as I could with her from now on. I didn't want to deserve her distrust, even if earning her trust was impossible.

"I'm sorry," I told her. That was truer than she would ever know. Unfortunately, I could only safely apologize for the trivial. "I'm being very rude, I know. But it's better this way, really."

It would be better for her if I could keep it up, continue to be rude. Could I?

Her eyes opened, their expression still wary.

"I don't know what you mean."

I tried to get as much of a warning through to her as was allowed. "It's better if we're not friends." Surely, she could sense that much. She was intelligent. "Trust me."

Her eyes tightened, and I remembered that I had said those words to her before—just before breaking a promise. I winced when her teeth clenched together—she clearly remembered, too.

"What are you thinking?" I had never meant to speak the question, yet somehow it had slipped out. I could feel the frustration on my face, both with myself and with my lack of understanding.

"I guess… It's just too bad you didn't figure that out earlier," she sighed. "You could have saved yourself all this regret."

I stared at her in shock. What did she know of my regrets?

"Regret? Regret for what?" I demanded.

"For not letting Taylor's van crush me!" she said simply, like it was obvious.

I froze, stunned.

How could she be thinking that? Saving her life was the one acceptable thing I'd done since I met her. The one thing I was not ashamed of. The one and only thing that made me glad I existed at all. I'd been fighting to keep her alive since the first moment I'd caught her scent. How could she think this of me? How could she question my one good deed in all this mess?

"You think I regret saving your life?"

"I can tell that you do," she said wearily, "I just don't know why."

Her estimation of my intentions left me seething. "You don't know anything."

How confusing and incomprehensible the workings of her mind were! She must not think the same way as other humans at all. That must be the explanation behind her mental silence. She was entirely other.

She turned her face away, setting her jaw. She was obviously upset. She gathered her books together in a pile, pulled them up into her arms, stood and walked toward the door without meeting my stare.

Even irritated as I was, it was impossible not to feel waves of guilt for causing her to feel this way.

She walked quickly, without looking where she was going, and her foot caught on the lip of the doorway. She stumbled, and her things all crashed to the ground. Instead of bending to get them, she stood rigidly straight, not even looking down, as if she were not sure the books were worth retrieving. Then she sighed deeply. It was an exquisitely sad sound.

I felt truly monstrous then.

I had to fix this. I had to make this right. No one was here to watch me; I flitted to her side, and had her book put in order before she looked down.

She bent halfway, saw me, and then froze. I handed her books back to her, making sure that my icy skin never touched hers.

"Thank you," she said in a quiet voice.

I understood her mood now, she was exhausted by me. I felt wretched.

"You're welcome," was all I could say, though I desperately longed to explain everything to her, to chase away her feelings of sadness. But I could not do that.

She stood swiftly upright and hurried away to her next class.

I watched until I could no longer see her.

Spanish passed in a blur. Mrs. Goff never questioned my abstraction—she knew my Spanish was superior to hers, and she gave me a great deal of latitude—leaving me free to think.

So, I couldn't ignore the girl. That much was obvious. But did it mean I had no choice but to destroy her? That could not be the only available future. There had to be some other choice, some delicate balance. I tried of think of a way…

I didn't pay much attention to Emmett until the hour was nearly up. He was curious—Emmett was not overly intuitive about the shades in other's moods, but he could see the obvious change in me. He wondered what had happened to remove the unrelenting glower from my face. He struggled to define the change, and finally decided that I looked hopeful.

Hopeful? Is that what it looked like from the outside?

I pondered the idea of hope as we walked to the Volvo, wondering what exactly I should be hopingfor.

But I didn't have long to ponder. Sensitive as I always was to thoughts about the girl, the sound of Bella's name in the heads of… of my rivals, I suppose I had to admit, caught my attention. Eric and Taylor, having heard—with much satisfaction—of Makayla's failure, were preparing to make their moves.

Eric was already in place, positioned against Bella's truck where she could not avoid him. Taylor's class was being held late to receive an assignment, and she was in a desperate hurry to catch Bella before she escaped.

This I had to see.

"Wait for the others here, all right?" I murmured to Emmett.

He eyed me suspicious, but then shrugged and nodded.

Kid's lost her mind, he thought, amused by my odd request.

I saw Bella on her way out of the gym, and I waited where she would not see me for her to pass. As she got closer to Eric's ambush, I strode forward, setting my pace so that I could walk by at the right moment.

I watched her body stiffen when she caught of the boy waiting for her. She froze for a moment, then relaxed and moved forward.

"Hi, Eric," I heard her call in a friendly voice.

I was abruptly and unexpectedly anxious. What if I was utterly mistaken in regard to Bella's preferences? No, that wasn't the case. I was sure.

Eric swallowed loudly, ducking his head slightly. "Hi, Bella."

She seemed unconscious of his nervousness.

"What's up?" she asked, unlocking her truck without looking at his frightened expression.

"Uh, I was just wondering… if you would go to the spring dance with me?" His voice broke.

She finally looked up. Was she taken aback, or pleased? Eric couldn't meet her gaze, so I couldn't see her face in his mind.

"I'm… I'm not going to the dance, Eric," she said, sounding disarmed.

"Oh, okay," he said, despondently.

This poor boy did not irritate me as much as Makayla Newton did, not by half. I hadn't paid much attention to Eric Yorkie before, but as I listened now to the jumbled thoughts in his mind I rrealized his desire to ask Bella to the dance had nothing to do with an actual attraction but rather a desperate attempt to hide something about himself from the rest of this small-minded town. Poor boy.

"Thank you for asking me, but I'm going to be in Seattle that day." Bella replied, her voice gentle and soothing.

He'd already heard this; still, it was a disappointment—an embarrassment.

"Oh," he mumbled, barely daring to raise his eyes to the level of her nose. "Maybe next time."

"Sure," she agreed. Then she bit down on her lip, as if she regretted leaving him a loophole. I liked that.

Eric slumped forward, throwing a half-hearted wave and a meek, "See ya," back at her as he walked away, headed in the wrong direction from his car, his only thought escape.

I passed her in that moment, and heard her sigh of distress. I laughed.

She whirled at the sound, but I stared straight ahead, trying to keep my lips from twitching in amusement.

Taylor was behind me, almost running in her hurry to catch her before she could drive away. Taylor was bolder and more confident than the other two; she'd only waited to approach Bella this long because she'd respected Makayla's prior claim.

I wanted Taylor to succeed in catching her for two reasons. If—as I was beginning to suspect—all this attention was annoying Bella, I wanted to watch her reaction. But, if it was not—if Taylor's invitation was the one she'd been hoping for—then I wanted to know that, too.

I measured Taylor Crowley as a rival, knowing it was wrong to do so. Though she had shown no attraction to other females before, she seemed intent on asking Bella to the dance. On the whole, she seemed tediously average and unremarkable to me, but what did I know of Bella's preferences? Maybe she liked average girls…

I winced at that thought. I could never be an average girl. How foolish it was to set myself up as a rival for her affections. How could she ever care for someone who was, by any estimation, a monster?

She was too good for a monster.

I ought to have let her escape, but my inexcusable curiosity kept me from doing what was right. Again. But what if Taylor missed her chance now, only to contact Bella later when I would have no way of knowing the outcome? I pulled my Volvo out into the narrow lane, blocking her exit.

Emmett and the others were on their way, but he'd described my strange behavior to them, and they were walking slowly, watching me, trying to decipher what I was doing.

I watched the girl in my rearview mirror. She glowered toward the back of my car without meeting my gaze, looking as if she wished she were driving a tank rather than a rusted Chevy.

Taylor hurried to her car and got in line behind her, grateful for my inexplicable behavior. She waved at her, trying to catch her attention, but she didn't notice. Taylor waited a moment, and then left her car, sauntering up to Bella's passenger side window. She tapped on the glass.

Bella jumped, and then stared at her in confusion. After a second, she rolled the window down manually, seeming to have some trouble with it.

"I'm sorry, Taylor," he said, gesturing toward my car. "I'm stuck behind Cullen."

She said my surname in a hard voice—she was still irritated with me.

"Oh, I know," Taylor said, grinning. "I just wanted to ask you something while we're trapped here."

Her grin was cocky.

"Oh? What?" I was amused by Bella's exasperated sigh.

"Will you go with me to the spring dance?" she asked, no thought of defeat in her head.

Bella's face went immediately red, the look in her eyes—I wished I could properly describe it—somewhere between annoyance and utter confusion.

"I'm not going to be in town, Taylor," she mumbled.

"Yeah, Makayla said that."

"Then why—?"she started to ask.

She shrugged. "I was hoping you were just letting her down easy."

"I wasn't." Her eyes flashed, then cooled. "Besides, wouldn't you rather go with a boy?" Her annoyance was rising, and I understood her previous look of confusion now.

"Usually, but I thought maybe you'd like to have someone to go with as a date instead of going stag."

I had to admire Taylor's confidence in the face of those brilliant silver eyes.

"Sorry, Taylor," she was trying very hard to hide her irritation now, "I really am going out of town."

"That's cool. We still have prom."

She strutted back to her car.

I was right to have waited for this.

The horrified expression on Bella's face was priceless. It told me what I should not so desperately need to know—that she had no feelings for any of these humans who wished to court her.

Also, her expression was possibly the funniest thing I'd ever seen.

My family arrived then, confused by the fact that I was, for a chance, rocking with laughter rather than scowling murderously at everything in sight.

What's so funny?Emmett wanted to know.

I just shook my head while I also shook with fresh laughter as Bella revved her noisy engine angrily. She looked like she was wishing for a tank again.

"Let's go!" Royal hissed impatiently. "Stop being an idiot. If youcan."

His words didn't annoy me—I was too entertained. But I did as he asked.

No one spoke to me on the way home. I continued to chuckle every now and again, thinking of Bella's face.

As I turned on to the drive—speeding up now that there were not witnesses—Alice ruined my mood.

"So do I get to talk to Bella now?" she asked suddenly, without considering the words first, thus giving me no warning.

"No," I snapped.

"Not fair! What am I waiting for?"

"I haven't decided anything, Alice."

"Uh-huh. Sure, Edyth."

In her head, Bella's two destinies were clear again.

"What's the point in getting to know her?" I mumbled, suddenly morose. "If I'm just going to kill her?"

Alice hesitated for a second. "You have a point," she admitted.

I took the final hairpin turn at ninety miles an hour, and then screeched to a stop an inch from the back garage wall.

"Enjoy your run," Royal said smugly as I threw myself out of the car.

But I didn't go running today. Instead, I went hunting.

The others were scheduled to hunt tomorrow, but I couldn't afford to be thirsty now. I overdid it, drinking more than necessary, glutting myself again—a small grouping of elk and one black bear I was lucky to stumble across this early in the year. I was so full it was uncomfortable. Why couldn't that be enough? Why did her scent have to be so much stronger than anything else?

I had hunted in preparation for the next day, but, when I could hunt no more and the sun was still hour and hours from rising, I knew that the next day was not soon enough.

The jittery high swept through me again when I realized that I was going to go find her.

I argued with myself all the way back to Forks, but my less noble side won the argument, and I went ahead with my indefensible plan. The monster was restless but well-fettered. I knew I would keep a safe distance from her. I only wanted to know where she was. I just wanted to see her face.

It was past midnight, and Bella's house was dark and quiet. Her truck was parked against the curb, her father's police cruiser in the driveway. There were no conscious thoughts anywhere in the neighborhood. I watched the house for a moment from the blackness of the forest that bordered it on the east. The front door would probably be locked—not a problem, except that I didn't want to leave a broken door as evidence behind me. I decided to try the upstairs window first. Not many people would bother installing a lock there.

I crossed the open yard and scaled the face of the house in half a second. Dangling from the eave above the window by one hand, I looked through the glass, and my breath stopped.

It was her room. I could see her in the one small bed, her covers on the floor and her sheets twisted around her legs. As I watched, she twitched restlessly and threw one arm over her head. She did not sleep soundly, at least not this night. Did she sense the danger near her?

I was repulsed by myself as I watched her toss again. How was I any better than some sick peeping tom? Iwasn'tany better. I was much, much worse.

I relaxed my fingertips, about to let myself drop. But first I allowed myself one long look at her face.

It was not peaceful. The little furrow was there between her eyebrows, the corners of her lips turned down. Her lips trembled, and then parted.

"Okay, Mom," she muttered.

Bella talked in her sleep.

Curiosity flared, overpowering self-disgust. The lure of those unprotected, unconsciously spoken thoughts was impossibly tempting.

I tried the window, and it was not locked, though it stuck due to long disuse. I slid it slowly aside, cringing at each faint groan of the metal frame. I would have to find some oil for the next time…

Next time? I shook my head, disgusted again.

I eased myself silently through the half-opened window.

Her room was small—disorganized but not unclean. There were books piled on the floor beside her bed, their spines facing away from me, and CDs scattered by her inexpensive CD player—the one on top was just a clear jewel case. Stacks of papers surrounded a computer that looked like it belonged in a museum dedicated to obsolete technologies. Shoes dotted the wooden floor.

I wanted very much to go read the titles of her books and CDs, but I'd promised myself that I would keep my distance; instead, I went to sit in the old rocking chair that sat in the far corner of the room.

Had I really once thought her average-looking? I thought of that first day, and my disgust for everyone who was suddenly so intrigued by her. But when I remembered her face in their minds now, I could not understand why I had not found her beautiful immediately. It seemed an obvious thing.

Right now—with her dark hair tangled and wild framing her pale face, wearing a threadbare t-shirt full of holes with tatty sweatpants, her features relaxed in unconsciousness, her full lips slightly parted—she took my breath away. Or would have, I thought wryly, were I breathing.

She did not speak. Perhaps her dream had ended.

I stared at her face and tried to think of some way to make the future bearable.

Hurting her was not bearable. Did that mean my only choice was to try to leave again?

The others could not argue with me now. My absence would not put anyone in danger. There would be no suspicion, nothing to link anyone's thoughts back to the accident.

I wavered as I had this afternoon, and nothing seemed possible.

I could not hope to rival the human girls, whether these specific girls appealed to her or not. I was a monster. How could she see me as anything else? If she knew the truth about me, it would frighten and repulse her. Like the intended victim in a horror movie, she would run away, crying out in terror.

I remembered her first day in biology... and knew that this was exactly the right reaction for her to have.

It was foolishness to imagine that if had I been the one to ask her to the silly dance, she would have cancelled her hastily-made plans and agreed to go with me.

I was not the one she was destined to say yes to. It was someone else, someone human and warm. And I could not even let myself—someday, when that yes was said— hunt that human down and kill her, because Bella deserved her, whoever she was. Bella deserved happiness and love with whomever she chose.

I owed it to her to do the right thing now; I could no longer pretend that I was onlyin dangerof loving this girl.

After all, it really didn't matter if I left, because Bella could never see me the way I wished she would. Never see me as someone worthy of love.

Never.

Could a dead, frozen heart break? It felt like mine would.

"Edyth," Bella said.

I froze, staring at her unopened eyes.

Had she woken, caught me here? Shelookedasleep, yet her voice had been so

clear...

She sighed a quiet sigh, and then moved restlessly again, rolling to her side—still

fast asleep and dreaming.

"Edyth," she mumbled softly.

She was dreaming of me.

Could a dead, frozen heart beat again? It felt like mine was about to.

"Stay," she sighed. "Don't go. Please...don't go."

She was dreaming of me, and it wasn't even a nightmare. She wanted me to stay

with her, there in her dream.

I struggled to find words to name the feelings that flooded through me, but I had no words strong enough to hold them. For a long moment, I drowned in them.

When I surfaced, I was not the same woman I had been.

My life was an unending, unchanging midnight. It must, by necessity, always be

midnight for me. So how was it possible that the sun was rising now, in the middle of my midnight?

At the time that I had become a vampire, trading my soul and my mortality for immortality in the searing pain of transformation, I had truly been frozen. My body had turned into something more like rock than flesh, enduring and unchanging. Myself, also, had frozen as it was—my personality, my likes and my dislikes, my moods and my desires; all were fixed in place.

It was the same for the rest of them. We were all frozen. Living stone.

When change came for one of us, it was a rare and permanent thing. I had seen it happen with Carlisle, and then a decade later with Royal. Love had changed them in an eternal way, a way that never faded. More than eighty years had passed since Carlisle had found Esme, and yet he still looked at her with the incredulous eyes of first love. It would always be that way for them.

It would always be that way for me, too. I would always love this fragile human girl, for the rest of my limitless existence.

I gazed at her unconscious face, feeling this love for her settle into every portion of my stone body.

She slept more peacefully now, a slight smile on her lips.

Always watching her, I began to plot.

I loved her, and so I would try to be strong enough to leave her. I knew I wasn't that strong now. I would work on that one. But perhaps I was strong enough to circumvent the future in another way.

Alice had seen only two futures for Bella, and now I understood them both.

Loving her would not keep me from killing her, if I let myself make mistakes.

Yet I could not feel the monster now, could not find him anywhere in me.

Perhaps love had silenced him forever. If I killed her now, it would not be intentional, only a horrible accident.

I would have to be inordinately careful. I would never, ever be able to let my guard down. I would have to control my every breath. I would have to keep an always cautious distance.

I would not make mistakes.

I finally understood that second future. I'd been baffled by that vision—what could possibly happen to result in Bella becoming a prisoner to this immortal half-life? Now—devastated by longing for her—I could understand how I might, in unforgivable selfishness, ask my father for that favor. Ask him to take away Bella's life and her soul so that I could keep her forever.

She deserved better.

But I saw one more future, one thin wire that I might be able to walk, if I could keep my balance.

Could I do it? Be with her and leave her human?

Deliberately, I took a deep breath, and then another, letting her scent rip through me like wildfire. The room was thick with her scent; her fragrance was layered on every surface. My head swam, but I fought the spinning. I would have to get used to this, if I were going to attempt any kind of relationship with her. I took another deep, burning breath.

I watched her sleeping until the sun rose behind the eastern clouds, plotting and breathing.

I got home just after the others had left for school. I changed quickly, avoiding Esme's questioning eyes. She saw the feverish light in my face, and she felt both worry and relief. My long melancholy had pained her, and she was glad it seemed to be over.

I ran to school, arriving a few seconds after my siblings did. They did not turn, though Alice at least must have known that I stood here in the thick woods that bordered the pavement. I waited until no one was looking, and then I strolled casually from between the trees into the lot full of parked cars.

I heard Bella's truck rumbling around the corner, and I paused behind a Suburban, where I could watch without being seen.

She drove into the lot, glaring at my Volvo for a long moment before she parked in one of the most distant spaces, a frown on her face.

It was strange to remember that she was probably still frustrated with me, and with good reason.

I wanted to laugh at myself—or kick myself. All my plotting and planning was entirely moot if if she didn't care for me, too, wasn't it? Her dream could have been about something completely random. I was such an arrogant fool.

Well, it was so much the better for her if she didn't care for me. That wouldn't stop me from pursuing her, but I would give her fair warning as I pursued. I owed her that.

I walked silently forward, wondering how best to approach her.

She made it easy. Her truck key slipped through her fingers as she got out, and fell into a deep puddle.

She reached down, but I got to it first, retrieving it before she had to put her fingers in the cold water.

I leaned back against her truck as she started and then straightened up.

"How do youdothat?" she gasped.

Yes, she was still frustrated. It was evident on her face.

I offered her the key. "Do what?"

She held her hand out, and I dropped the key in her palm. I took a deep breath, pulling in her scent.

"Appear out of thin air," she clarified.

"Bella, it's not my fault if you were exceptionally unobservant." The words were wry, almost a joke. Was there anything she didn't see?

Did she hear how my voice wrapped around her name like a caress?

She glared at me, not appreciating my humor. Her heartbeat sped—from anger? From fear? After a moment, she looked down.

"Why the traffic jam last night?" she asked without meeting my eyes. "I thought you were supposed to be pretending I don't exist."

Still very frustrated. It was going to take some effort to make things right with her. I remembered my resolve to be truthful with her.

"That was for Taylor's sake, not mine. I had to give her her chance." And then I laughed. I couldn't help it, thinking of her expression yesterday.

"What?" she asked, confused and irritated. There it was—that same expression. I choked back another laugh. She was mad enough already.

"And I'm not pretending you don't exist," I finished. It was right to keep this casual, teasing. She would not understand if I let her see how I really felt. I would frighten her. I had to keep my feelings in check, keep things light…

"I don't know what you want from me." She said, sounding almost defeated.

Everything, I want everything from you. Your love, your trust, you…

"Nothing." I said it too quickly, not keeping my façade in place.

"Then you probably should have let the van take me out. Easier that way."

A quick flash of anger pulsed through me. Could she honestly believe that?

It was irrational for me to be so affronted—she didn't know of the transformation that had happened in the night. But I was angry all the same.

"Bella, you are utterly absurd," I snapped.

Her face flushed, and she turned her back on me. She began to walk away.

Remorse. I had no right to my anger.

"Wait," I pleaded.

She did not stop, so I followed after her.

"I'm sorry, that was rude."

She ignored me.

I continued. "I'm not saying it isn't true"—itwasabsurd to imagine that I wanted her harmed in any way—"but it was rude to say it, anyway."

"Why won't you leave me alone?"

Believe me, I wanted to say.I've tried.

Oh, and also, I'm wretchedly in love with you.

Keep it light.

"I wanted to ask you something, but you sidetracked me." A course of action had just occurred to me, and I laughed.

She sighed, but she slowed her pace. "Fine then. What do you want to ask?"

"I was wondering if, a week from Saturday…" I imagined the look on her face, and choked back another laugh. "You know, the day of the spring dance—"

She cut me off, finally wheeling to face me. "Are you trying to befunny?"

Yes. "Will you let me finish?"

She waited in silence, her teeth pressing into her soft lower lip.

That sight distracted me for a second. Strange, unfamiliar reactions stirred deep in my forgotten human core. I tried to shake them off so I could play my role.

"I heard you say that you were going to Seattle that day, and I was wondering if you wanted a ride?" I offered. I'd realized that, better than just questioning her about her plans, I mightsharethem.

She stared at me blankly. "What?"

"Do you want a ride to Seattle?" Alone in a car with her—my throat burned at the thought. I took a deep breath.Get used to it.

"With who?" she asked, her eyes wide and bewildered again.

"Myself, obviously," I said slowly.

"Why?"

Was it really such a shock that I would want her company? She must have applied the worst possible meaning to my past behavior.

"Well," I said as casually as possible, "I was planning to go to Seattle in the next few weeks, and, to be honest, I'm not sure if your truck can make it." It seemed safer to tease her than to allow myself to be serious.

"My truck works just fine, thank you very much for your concern," she said in the same surprised voice. She started walking again. I kept pace with her.

She hadn't really said no, so I pressed that advantage.

Would she say no? What would I do if she did?

"But can your truck make it there on one tank of gas?"

"I don't see how that's any of your business," she grumbled.

That still wasn't a no. And her heart was beating faster again, her breath coming more quickly.

"The wasting of finite resources is everyone's business."

"Honestly, Edyth, I can't keep up with you. I thought you didn't want to be my friend."

A thrill shot through me when she spoke my name.

How to keep it light and yet be honest at the same time? Well, it was more important to be honest. Especially on this point.

"I said it would be better if we weren't friends, not that I didn't want to be."

"Oh, thanks, now that'sallcleared up," she said sarcastically.

She paused, under the edge of the cafeteria's roof, and met my gaze. Her heartbeats stuttered. Was she afraid?

I chose my words carefully. No, I could not leave her, but maybe she would be smart enough to leave me, before it was too late.

"It would be more…prudentfor you not to be my friend." Staring into the molten silver depths of her eyes, I lost my hold onlight. "But I'm tired of trying to stay away from you, Bella." The words burned with much too much fervor.

Her breathing stopped and, in the second it took for it to restart, that worried me. How much had I scared her? Well, I would find out.

"Will you go to Seattle with me?" I demanded, point blank.

She nodded, her heart drumming loudly.

Yes. She'd said yes tome.

And then my conscience smote me. What would this cost her?

"You reallyshouldstay away from me," I warned her. Did she hear me? Would she escape the future I was threatening her with? Couldn't I do anything to save her fromme?

Keep it light,I shouted at myself. "I'll see you in class."

I had to concentrate to stop myself from running as I fled.


	10. blood type bella pov

**so this story is getting pretty popular thanks guys lol. but i wish i had more reviews. Oh and the Edyth povs are from midnight sun.As you guys know stephenie only got to chapter 12 so after that ill be on my own writing in Edyth pov. anyway thanks and read and review please :)**

I made my way to English in a daze. I didn't even realize when I first walked in that class had already started.

"Thank you for joining us, Ms. Swan," Mr. Mason said in a disparaging tone.

I flushed and hurried to my seat.

It wasn't till class ended that I realized Makayla wasn't sitting in her usual seat next to me. I felt a twinge of guilt. But she and Eric both met me at the door as usual, so I figured I wasn't totally unforgiven. Makayla seemed to become more herself as we walked, gaining enthusiasm as she talked about the weather report for this weekend. The rain was supposed to take a minor break, and so maybe her beach trip would be possible. I tried to sound eager, to make up for disappointing her yesterday. It was hard; rain or no rain, it would still only be in the high forties, if we were lucky.

The rest of the morning passed in a blur. It was difficult to believe that I hadn't just imagined what Edyth had said, and the way her eyes had looked. Maybe it was just a very convincing dream that I'd confused with reality. That seemed more probable. After all, what were the chances that she was that interesting, that attractive,and interested in me? It didn't seem likely.

I was both eager and nervous as Jeremy and I entered the cafeteria. I wanted to see her face, to see if she'd gone back to the cold, indifferent person I'd known for the last several weeks. Or if, by some miracle, I'd really heard what I thought I'd heard this morning. Jeremy babbled on about his dance plans— Logan had asked Taylor to the dance, and Allen had asked another girl I didn't know and they were all going together— completely unaware of how preoccupied I was. Disappointment flooded through me as my eyes unerringly focused on her table. The other four were there, but she was absent. Had she gone home? Was she just going to disappear suddenly whenever something happened?

I followed the still-babbling Jeremy through the line, crushed. I'd lost my appetite— I bought bottle of lemonade, more for something to carry than to actually drink. I just wanted to go sit down. No. I wanted to go home, I wanted to go to sleep and wake up in a world where Edyth Cullen wasn't driving me crazy with her mood swings and her cryptic mutterings and her stupid, beautiful, perfect face.

"Edyth Cullen is staring at you again," Jeremy said, finally breaking through my abstraction with her name. "I wonder why she's sitting alone today."

My head snapped up. I followed his gaze to see Edyth, smiling crookedly, staring at me from an empty table across the cafeteria from where she usually sat. Once she'd caught my eye, she raised one hand and motioned with her index finger for me to join her. As I stared in disbelief, she winked.

"Does she mean you?" Jeremy asked with astonishment in his voice. I would have been insulted if I wasn't completely shocked myself.

"Maybe she needs help with her Biology homework," I muttered. "Um, I'd better go see what she wants."

I could feel him staring after me as I walked away. I could also feel my face turning red the closer I got to Edyth.

When I reached her table, I stood behind the chair across from her, unsure.

"Why don't you sit with me today?" she asked, smiling.

I sat down automatically, watching her with caution. She was still smiling. It was hard to believe that someone so beautiful could be real. Part of me was afraid that she might disappear in a sudden puff of smoke, and I would wake up. Part of me wished she would.

She stared at me, smiling. She seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

"This is different," I finally managed.

"Well…" She paused, and then the rest of the words followed in a rush. "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

I waited for her to explain this new cryptic statement, but she didn't.

The silence got more uncomfortable as the seconds ticked by.

"You know I don't have any idea what you mean," I eventually pointed out.

"I know." She smiled again, and then she changed the subject. "I think your friends are angry with me for stealing you."

"They'll survive." I could feel their stares boring into my back. For once, it didn't bother me.

"I may not give you back, though," she said with a wicked glint in her eyes.

My breath caught in my throat.

She laughed.

"You look worried."

"No," I said, but my voice broke, tellingly. "Surprised, actually… what brought all this on?"

"I told you— I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." She was still smiling, but her ocher eyes were serious.

"Giving up?" I repeated in confusion.

"Yes— giving up trying to be good. I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." Her smile faded as she explained, and a hard edge crept into her velvet voice.

"You lost me again."

The breathtaking crooked smile reappeared. "I always say too much when I'm talking to you— that's one of the problems."

"Don't worry— I don't understand any of it," I said wryly.

"I'm counting on that."

We stared at each other for a few seconds, but the quiet wasn't awkward this time. It was more… charged. My face started to get hot again.

"So," I said, looking away so that I could catch my breath. "In plain English, are we friends now?"

"Friends…," she mused, dubious.

"Or not," I offered.

She grinned. "Well, we can try, I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you." Behind her smile, the warning was real.

"You say that a lot," I noted, trying to ignore the sudden knots forming in my stomach and keep my voice even. I wasn't sure that I believed what she was saying, but I could tell that she believed it.

"Yes, because you're not listening to me. I'm still waiting for you to hear me. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."

Then I had to smile, and I watched as her smile got bigger in response. "I thought we'd already come to the conclusion that I'm… what was it?Absurd. I suppose… not smart isn't far behind."

She smiled apologetically.

"So, as long as I'm being absurdly unintelligent," She laughed at that, "we'll try to be friends?"

"That sounds about right." I looked down at my hands wrapped around the lemonade bottle, not sure what to do now, but feeling oddly satisfied. Still, it was so strange to sit with her here—like normal people. I was so sure only one of us was normal.

"What are you thinking?" she asked curiously.

I looked up into her deep gold eyes, became befuddled, and, as usual, blurted out the truth.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are."

Her jaw tightened, she kept her smile in place with some effort.

"Are you having any luck with that?" she asked in an offhand tone.

"Not too much," I admitted.

She chuckled. "What are your theories?"

I blushed. I had been vacillating during the last month between Clark Kent and Peter Parker. There was no way I was going to own up to that.

"Won't you tell me?" she asked, tilting her head to one side with a shockingly tempting smile. I felt my throat go dry.

I shook my head. "Too embarrassing."

"That'sreallyfrustrating, you know," she complained.

"Really?" I raised my eyebrows, "Like, someone refusing to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while she's making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what she could possibly mean… frustrating like that?"

She frowned, but the pout of her lips was distractingly attractive.

"Or is it frustrating like, say, she's also done a bunch of other strange things—for example, saving your life under impossible circumstances one day, then treating you like a pariah the next—and she never explained any of that, either, even after she promised she would. Frustrating like that?"

Her frown twitched, but I thought I saw the hint of a guilty smile. "You're not over that, are you?"

"No, not quite."

"Would an apology help?"

"It wouldn't hurt."

She smiled, "I'm sorry I broke my promise."

It was a genuine apology and I didn't expect it. I felt a warmth course through my body.

"Th-thank you." I said softly, "It's still not an explanation."

She glanced over my shoulder, and then, unexpectedly, she snickered.

"What?"

"Your girlfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you— she's debating whether or not to come break up our fight." She snickered again.

"I don't have a girlfriend, and you're trying to change the subject.

She ignored the second half of my statement. "You might not think of her that way, but she wishes you did."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I told you, most people are easy to read."

"Except me."

"Yes. Except for you." Her mood shifted suddenly; her eyes turned brooding. "I wonder why that is."

I had to look away from the intensity of her stare. I concentrated on unscrewing the lid of my lemonade. I took a swig, staring at the table without seeing it.

"Aren't you hungry?" she asked, distracted.

"No." My stomach was full of butterflies. There was no way I could eat now.

"You?" I looked at the empty table in front of her.

"No, I'm not hungry." I didn't understand her expression— it looked like she was enjoying some private joke.

"Can you do me a favor?" I asked after a second of hesitation.

She was suddenly wary. "That depends on what you want."

"It's not much," I promised.

She waited, still guarded but clearly curious.

"Could you warn me beforehand? The next time you decide to ignore me for my own good. Just so I'm prepared." I looked at the lemonade bottle as I spoke, tracing the circle of the opening with my pinkie finger.

"That sounds fair." She was pressing her lips together to keep from laughing when I looked up.

"Thanks."

"Then can I have a favor in return?" she asked.

"Sure." It was my turn to be curious. What would she want from me?

"Tell meonetheory."

Whoops. "Not that favor."

"You didn't qualify, you just promised one favor," she reminded me.

"And you've broken promises yourself," I reminded her back.

"Just one theory— I won't laugh."

"Yes, you will." I was positive about that.

She looked down, and then glanced up at me through her long black lashes, her gold eyes scorching.

"Please?" she breathed, leaning toward me. Without meaning to, I leaned closer to her, like she was a magnet and I was trapped in her pull, till her face was less than a foot from mine. My mind went blank. Holy crow, how did shedothat?

"Er, what?" I asked, dazed. I forced myself to sit back.

"Tell me just one little theory." She practically purred the words. "Please?" Her eyes still smoldered at me.

"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?" Was she a hypnotist, too? Or was I just a hopeless pushover?

"That's not very creative," she scoffed.

"I'm sorry, that's all I've got," I said, miffed.

"You're not even close," she teased.

"No spiders?"

"Nope."

"And no radioactivity?"

"None."

"Dang," I sighed.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me, either," she chuckled.

"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?"

She struggled to compose her face, but her shoulders shook from holding the laughter back.

"I'll figure it out eventually," I warned her.

Her humor vanished like a switch had flipped off. "I wish you wouldn't try."

"Because…?"

"What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?" She smiled playfully, but her eyes were impenetrable.

"Oh," I said, as several things she'd hinted fell suddenly into place. "I see."

"Do you?" Her face was abruptly severe, as if she were afraid that she'd accidentally said too much.

"You're dangerous?" I guessed, my pulse quickening as I intuitively realized the truth of my own words. Shewasdangerous. She'd been trying to tell me that all along. She just looked at me, eyes full of some emotion I couldn't comprehend.

"But not the bad guy," I whispered, shaking my head. "No, I don't believe that."

"You're wrong." Her voice was almost inaudible. She looked down, stealing my bottle lid and then spinning it on its side between her fingers. I stared at her, wondering why I didn't feel afraid. She meant what she was saying— that was obvious. But I just felt anxious, on edge… and, more than anything else, fascinated. The same way I always felt when I was near her.

The silence lasted until I noticed that the cafeteria was almost empty.

I jumped to my feet, and she looked up. She seemed… sad. But resigned. Like this was the reaction she'd been waiting for.

"We're going to be late," I told her, scrambling to gather my things.

She was surprised for just a second, and then the now-familiar amusement was back.

"I'm not going to class today," she said, twirling the lid so fast it was just a blur.

"Why not?"

"It's healthy to ditch class now and then." She smiled up at me, but her eyes were still troubled.

"Well, I'm going," I told her. Maybe if she asked me to ditch with her… No, that was stupid and irresponsible to ditch class for a girl.

She turned her attention back to her makeshift top. "I'll see you later, then."

I hesitated, torn, but then the first bell sent me hurrying out the door— with a last glance confirming that she hadn't moved at all, and the lid was still spinning in a tight circle like it would never stop.

As I half-ran to class, my head was spinning just as fast. So few questions had been answered in comparison to how many new questions had been raised.

I was lucky; Mrs. Banner wasn't in the room yet when I arrived. I settled quickly into my seat, aware that both Makayla and Allen were staring at me. Makayla looked resentful; Allen looked surprised, and slightly awed.

Mrs. Banner came in the room then, calling the class to order. She was juggling a few small cardboard boxes in her arms. She put them down on Makayla's table, telling her to start passing them around the class.

"Okay, guys, I want you all to take one piece from each box," she said as she produced a pair of rubber gloves from the pocket of her lab jacket and pulled them on. The sharp sound as the gloves snapped into place against her wrists seemed ominous to me. "The first should be an indicator card," she went on, grabbing a white card with four squares marked on it and displaying it. "The second is a four-pronged applicator—" she held up something that looked like a nearly toothless hair pick "— and the third is a sterile micro-lancet." She held up a small piece of blue plastic and split it open. The barb was invisible from this distance, but my stomach flipped.

"I'll be coming around with a dropper of water to prepare your cards, so please don't start until I get to you." She began at Makayla's table again, carefully putting one drop of water in each of the four squares. "Then I want you to carefully prick your finger with the lancet.…" She grabbed Makayla's hand and jabbed the spike into the tip of Makayla's middle finger. Oh no. Clammy moisture broke out across my forehead and my ears began a faint ringing.

"Put a small drop of blood on each of the prongs." She demonstrated, squeezing Makayla's finger till the blood flowed. I swallowed convulsively, my stomach heaving.

"And then apply it to the card," she finished, holding up the dripping red card for us to see. I closed my eyes, trying to hear through the humming in my ears.

"The Red Cross is having a blood drive in Port Angeles next weekend, so I thought you should all know your blood type." She sounded proud of herself. "Those of you who aren't eighteen yet will need a parent's permission— I have slips at my desk."

She continued through the room with her water drops. I put my cheek against the cool black tabletop and tried to hold on as everything seemed to get farther away, slithering down a dark tunnel. The squeals, complaints, and giggles as my classmates skewered their fingers all sounded far off in the distance. I breathed slowly in and out through my mouth.

"Bella, are you all right?" Mrs. Banner asked. Her voice was close to my head, but still far away, and it sounded alarmed.

"I already know my blood type, Mrs. Banner. I'm O negative." I said in a weak voice. I couldn't open my eyes.

"Are you feeling faint?"

"Yes, ma'am," I muttered, internally kicking myself for not ditching when I had the chance.

"Can someone help Bella to the nurse, please?" She called. I didn't have to look up to know that it would be Makayla who volunteered.

"Can you walk?" Mrs. Banner asked.

"Yes," I whispered.Just let me get out of here, I thought.I'll crawl.

Makayla seemed eager as she put her arm around my waist and pulled my arm over her shoulder. I leaned against her heavily on the way out of the classroom.

Makayla towed me slowly across campus. When we were around the edge of the cafeteria, out of sight of building four in case Mrs. Banner was watching, I stopped.

"Just let me sit for a minute, please?" I begged. She helped me sit on the edge of the walk. "And whatever you do, keep your hand in your pocket," I warned. I was still so dizzy. I slumped over on my side, putting my cheek against the freezing, damp cement of the sidewalk, closing my eyes. That seemed to help a little.

"Wow, you're green, Bella," Makayla said nervously.

"Just gimme… a minute…"

"Bella?" a different voice called from the distance.

Oh, please no. Please let me be imagining that horribly familiar voice.

"What's wrong— is she hurt?" Her voice was closer now, and she sounded upset. I wasn't imagining it. I squeezed my eyes shut, wondering if maybe I would die. That would be nice right now. If not that, at the very least, to not to throw up would be great.

Makayla seemed stressed. "I think she fainted. I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger."

"Bella." Edyth's voice was right beside me, relieved now. "Can you hear me?"

"No," I groaned. "Go away."

She chuckled.

"I was taking her to the nurse," Makayla explained in a defensive tone, "but she wouldn't go any farther."

"I'll take her," Edyth said. I could hear the smile still in her voice. "You can go back to class."

"What? No," Makayla protested. "I'm supposed to do it."

Suddenly the sidewalk disappeared from beneath me. My eyes flew open in shock. Edyth had scooped me up in her arms, like I weighed nothing at all. Then again, I didn't weigh as much as a van.

"I'm fine, I swear. Put me down." Please, please let me not vomit on her. She was walking before I was finished talking.

"Hey!" Makayla called, already ten paces behind us. Edyth ignored her.

"You look awful," she told me, grinning.

"Put me back on the sidewalk," I groaned. "I'll be fine in a few minutes."

She simply looked forward, smiling. I'd never been carried by someone before, it felt strange. Despite my nausea, I felt a strange tingling sensation running down my back and limbs. Being this close to Edyth, touching her wasn't something I wasn't remotely prepared for in this moment.

"So you faint at the sight of blood?" she asked. This seemed to entertain her.

I didn't answer. I closed my eyes again and took a deep breath. The nausea was already fading.

"And not even your own blood," she continued, enjoying herself. I don't know how she opened the door while carrying me, but it was suddenly warm, so I knew we were inside.

"Oh my," I heard a female voice gasp.

"She fainted in Biology," Edyth explained.

I opened my eyes. I was in the office, and Edyth was striding past the front counter toward the nurse's door. Ms. Cope, the redheaded front office receptionist, ran ahead of her to hold it open. The grandmotherly nurse looked up from a novel, astonished, as Edyth swung me into the room and placed me gently on the crackly paper that covered the brown vinyl mattress on the one cot. Then she moved to stand against the wall as far across the narrow room as possible. Her eyes were bright, excited.

"She's just a little faint," she reassured the startled nurse. "They're blood typing in Biology."

The nurse nodded sagely. "There's always one."

She muffled a snicker.

"Just lie down for a minute, honey; it'll pass."

"I know," I sighed. The nausea was mostly gone.

"Does this happen a lot?" she asked.

"Sometimes," I admitted. Edyth coughed to hide another laugh.

"You can go back to class now," she told her.

"I'm supposed to stay with her." She said this with such assured authority that— even though she pursed her lips— the nurse didn't argue it further.

"I'll go get you some ice for your head, dear," she said to me, and then bustled out of the room.

"You were right," I moaned, letting my eyes close.

"I usually am— but about what in particular this time?"

"Ditchingishealthy." I practiced breathing evenly.

"You scared me for a minute there," she admitted after a pause. Her tone made it sound like she was confessing a humiliating weakness. "I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods."

"Hilarious." I still had my eyes closed, but I was feeling more normal every minute.

"Honestly— I've seen corpses with better color. I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder."

"That's morbid."

She chuckled.

"Poor Makayla. I'll bet she's mad."

"She absolutely loathes me," Edyth said cheerfully.

"You can't know that," I argued, but then I wondered…

"You should have seen her face. It was obvious."

"How did you see me? I thought you were ditching." I was pretty much fine now, though the queasiness would probably pass faster if I'd eaten something for lunch. On the other hand, maybe it was lucky my stomach was empty.

"I was in my car, listening to a CD." Such a normal response— it surprised me.

I heard the door and opened my eyes to see the nurse with a cold compress in her hand.

"Here you go, dear." She laid it across my forehead. "You're looking better," she added.

"I think I'm fine," I said, sitting up. Just a little ringing in my ears, no spinning. The mint green walls stayed where they should.

I could see she was about to make me lie back down, but the door opened just then, and Ms. Cope stuck her head in.

"We've got another one," she warned.

I hopped down to free up the cot for the next invalid.

I handed the compress back to the nurse. "Here, I don't need this."

And then Makayla staggered through the door, now supporting a sallow-looking Lee Stephens, another boy in our Biology class. Edyth and I drew back against the wall to give them room.

"Oh no," Edyth muttered. "Go out to the office, Bella."

I looked up at her, bewildered.

"Trust me— go."

I spun and caught the door before it closed, floundering out of the infirmary. I could feel Edyth right behind me.

"You actually listened to me." She said, surprised.

"I smelled the blood," I said, wrinkling my nose. Lee wasn't sick from watching other people, like me.

"People can't smell blood," she contradicted.

"Yeah, I can."

"No. Humans can smell the iron in blood, but only when it's rubbed against skin or sometimes when there are large amounts or it's dried." The way she saidhumans, like they were a different species from herself was strange. "Either way, you shouldn't be able to smell a pinprick of fresh blood."

"Well, I can— that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust… and salt."

She was staring at me with an unfathomable expression.

"What?" I asked.

"It's nothing."

Makayla came through the door then, glancing from me to Edyth. The look she gave Edyth confirmed what Edyth had said about loathing. She looked back at me, her eyes glum.

"Youlook better," she accused.

"Just keep your hand in your pocket," I warned her again.

"It's not bleeding anymore," she muttered. "Are you going back to class?"

"Are you kidding? I'd just have to turn around and come back."

"Yeah, I guess.… So are you going this weekend? To the beach?" While she spoke, she flashed another glare toward Edyth, who was standing against the cluttered counter, motionless as a sculpture, staring off into space.

I tried to sound as friendly as possible. "Sure, I said I was in."

"We're meeting at my dad's store, at ten." Her eyes flickered to Edyth again, wondering if she was giving out too much information. Her body language made it clear that it wasn't an open invitation.

"I'll be there," I promised.

"I'll see you in Gym, then," she said, moving uncertainly toward the door.

"Yeah, see you," I replied. She looked at me once more, her round face slightly pouting, and then as she walked slowly through the door, her shoulders slumped. A swell of sympathy washed over me. I didn'twantto hurt her feelings, but it seemed like it just kept happening. I pondered seeing her disappointed face again… in Gym.

"Gym," I groaned.

"I can take care of that." I hadn't noticed Edyth moving to my side, but she spoke now in my ear. "Go sit down and look pale," she muttered.

That wasn't a challenge; I was always pale, and my recent swoon had left a light sheen of sweat on my face. I sat in one of the creaky folding chairs and rested my head against the wall with my eyes closed. Fainting always exhausted me.

I heard Edyth speaking softly at the counter.

"Ms. Cope?"

"Yes?" I hadn't heard her return to her desk.

"Bella has Gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?" Her voice was like melting honey. I could imagine how much more overwhelming her eyes would be.

"Do you need to be excused, too, Edyth?" Ms. Cope fluttered.

Why couldn't I do that?

"No, I have Mrs. Goff, she won't mind."

"Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better, Bella," she called to me. I nodded weakly, hamming it up just a bit.

"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?" With her back to the receptionist, her expression became sarcastic.

"I'll walk." I stood carefully, and I was still fine.

She held the door for me, her smile polite but her eyes mocking. I walked out into the cold, fine mist that had just begun to fall. It felt nice— the first time I'd enjoyed the constant moisture falling out of the sky— as it washed my face clean of the sticky perspiration.

"Thanks," I said as she followed me out. "It's almost worth getting sick to miss Gym."

"Anytime." She was staring straight forward, squinting into the rain.

"So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" I was hoping she would, though it seemed unlikely. I couldn't picture her loading up to carpool with the rest of the kids from school; she didn't belong in the same world. But just hoping that she might gave me the first twinge of enthusiasm I'd felt for the outing.

"Where are you all going, exactly?" She was still looking ahead, expressionless, but her question made me hope she was considering it.

"Down to La Push, to First Beach."

I studied her face, trying to read it. Her eyes seemed to narrow infinitesimally. She glanced down at me from the corner of her eye, smiling wryly.

"I really don't think I was invited."

I sighed. "I just invited you."

"Let's you and I not push poor Makayla any further this week. We don't want her to snap." Her eyes danced; she was enjoying the idea more than she should.

"Makayla-schMakayla," I muttered, preoccupied by the way she'd saidyou and I. I liked it more thanIshould.

We were near the parking lot now. I veered left, toward my truck. Something caught my jacket and yanked me back half a step.

"Where do you think you're going?" she asked, surprised. She was gripping a fistful my jacket in one hand.

I was confused. "I'm going home."

"Didn't you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?" She smirked.

"What condition?" I complained.

"You've had quite the day, Bella." She smiled.

"Okay, so what do you suggest?"

Her smile got wider, "I suggest that you get into my car, and you let me drive you home."

"Okay, first of all that's not necessary, and second, what about my truck?" "Necessary is a subjective word. I'll have Alice drop it off after school."

I turned to face her, and she let go of my jacket. Looking up into her smug, beautiful face I felt that strange tingling run down my back again.

"Are you going to put up a fuss?" she asked when I didn't speak.

"Is there any point in resisting?"

I tried to decipher all the layers to her smile, but I didn't get very far. "It warms my cold heart to see you learning so quickly. This way."

"You're not cute." I narrowed my eyes. This was a lie, she was cute. Very cute. She laughed.

"It's open," she grinned as we reached the shiny Volvo. She got in the driver's side. "I really am perfectly capable of driving myself home!" I put up one last feeble attempt.

She lowered the automatic window and leaned toward me across the seat. "Get in, Bella."

I didn't move. She sighed.

"Please, Bella?"

"This really is unnecessary," I sighed as I climbed into the passenger seat. She smiled widely.

The inside of the Volvo was just as pristine as the outside. Instead of the smell of gasoline and tobacco, there was just a faint pleasant smell. Like a delicate, expensive perfume. It was almost familiar, but I couldn't place it. Whatever it was, it smelled amazing.

As the engine gently purred to life, she fiddled with the controls, turning the heater up and the music down

"Clair de Lune?" I asked.

"You know Debussy?" She sounded surprised.

I shrugged. "My mother played a lot of classical music around the house— I only know my favorites."

"It's one of my favorites, too." She stared out through the rain, lost in thought. "Well, imagine that," I said. "We have something in common."

She didn't say anything, but she was smiling.

I listened to the music, relaxing against the light gray leather seat. It was impossible not to respond to the familiar, soothing melody. The rain blurred everything outside the window into gray and green smudges. I began to realize we were driving very fast; the car moved so steadily, so evenly, though, I didn't feel the speed. Only the town flashing by gave it away.

"What is your mother like?" she asked me suddenly.

I glanced over to see her studying me with her curious, butterscotch eyes.

"She looks a lot like me—same eyes, same chin. I have Charlie's brown hair, though. My mom is more outgoing than I am, and braver. She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend." I stopped. Talking about her was making me depressed.

"How old are you, Bella?" Her voice sounded frustrated for some reason I couldn't imagine. She'd stopped the car, and I realized we were at Charlie's house already. The rain was so heavy that I could barely see the house at all. It was like the car was submerged under a river.

"I'm seventeen," I responded, a little confused.

"You don't seem seventeen." Her tone was reproachful; it made me laugh. "What?" she asked, curious again.

"My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year." I laughed, and then sighed. "Well, someone has to be the adult." I paused for a second. "You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself," I noted.

She made a face and changed the subject.

"So why did your mother marry Phil?"

I was surprised she would remember the name; I'd mentioned it just once, almost two months ago. It took me a moment to answer.

"My mother… she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him." I shook my head. The attraction was a mystery to me, but would anyone ever be good enough for my mom?

"Do you approve?" she asked.

"Does it matter?" I countered. "I want her to be happy… and he is who she wants."

"That's very generous.… I wonder," she mused.

"What?"

"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?" She was suddenly intent, her eyes searching mine.

"I-I think so," I stuttered. "But she's the parent, after all. It's a little bit different."

"No one too scary then," she teased.

I grinned in response. "What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and extensive tattoos?"

"That's one definition, I suppose."

"What's your definition?" But she ignored my question and asked me another. "Do you think that I could be scary?" She raised one eyebrow, and the faint trace of a smile lightened her face.

I thought for a moment, wondering whether the truth or a lie would go over better. I decided to go with the truth. "Hmmm… I think youcouldbe, if you wanted to."

"Are you frightened of me now?" The smile vanished, and her heavenly face was suddenly serious.

"No." But I answered too quickly. The smile returned.

"So, now are you going to tell me about your family?" I asked to distract her. "It's got to be a much more interesting story than mine."

She was instantly cautious. "What do you want to know?"

"The Cullens adopted you?" I verified.

"Yes."

I hesitated for a moment. "What happened to your parents?"

"They died many years ago." Her tone was matter-of-fact.

"I'm sorry," I mumbled.

"I don't really remember them that clearly. Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."

"And you love them." It wasn't a question. It was obvious in the way she spoke of them.

"Yes." She smiled. "I couldn't imagine two better people."

"You're very lucky."

"I know I am."

"And your brother and sister?"

She glanced at the clock on the dashboard. "My brother and sister, and Jasper and Royal for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me."

"Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go."

I didn't want to get out of the car.

"And you probably want your truck back before Chief Swan gets home, so you don't have to tell him about the Biology incident." She grinned at me.

"I'm sure he's already heard. There are no secrets in Forks." I sighed.

She laughed, and there was an edge to her laughter.

"Have fun at the beach… good weather for sunbathing." She glanced out at the sheeting rain.

"Won't I see you tomorrow?"

"No. Emmett and I are starting the weekend early."

"What are you going to do?" A friend could ask that, right? I hoped the disappointment wasn't too apparent in my voice.

"We're going to be hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier.

I remembered Charlie had said the Cullens went camping frequently.

"Oh, well, have fun." I tried to sound enthusiastic. I don't think I fooled her, though. A smile was playing around the edges of her lips.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" She turned to look me straight in the face, utilizing the full power of her burning gold eyes.

I nodded helplessly.

"Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So… try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?" She smiled crookedly.

The helplessness had faded as she spoke. I glared at her.

"I'll see what I can do," I narrowed my eyes. She smirked.

I jumped out into the rain and ran for the porch. By the time I turned around, the Volvo had disappeared.

"Oh!" I clutched at my jacket pocket, remembering that I had forgotten to give her the key to my truck.

The pocket was empty


	11. blood type Edyth pov

**guys i have Edyth name spelled that way because i don't like the way its spelled in the book there are many ways to spell just thought id explain myself ok onto the story :)**

I followed her all day through other people's eyes, barely aware of my own surroundings.

Not Makayla Newton's eyes, because I couldn't stand any more of her offensive fantasies, and not Jeremy Stanley's, because his rambling thoughts were almost too difficult for even I to follow. Allen Weber was a good choice when his eyes were available; he was kind—his head was an easy place to be. And then sometimes it was the teachers who provided the best view.

I was surprised, watching her stumble through the day—tripping over cracks in the sidewalk, stray books, and, most often, her own feet—that the people I eavesdropped on thought of Bella as clumsy.

I considered that. It was true that she often had trouble staying upright. I remembered her stumbling into the desk on that first day, sliding around on the ice before the accident, falling over the low lip of the doorframe yesterday… How odd, they were right. She was clumsy.

I don't know why this was so funny to me, but I laughed out loud as I walked from American History to English and several people shot me wary looks. How had I never noticed this before? Perhaps because there was something very graceful about h her in stillness, the way she held her head, the arch of her neck…

There was nothing graceful about her now. Mr. Varner watched as she caught the toe of her boot on the carpet and literally fell into her chair.

The time moved with incredible sluggishness while I waited for my chance to see her with my own eyes. Finally, the bell rang. I strode quickly to the cafeteria to secure my spot. I was the first one there. I chose a table that was usually empty, and was sure to remain that way with me seated here.

When my family entered and saw me sitting alone in a new place, they were not surprised. Alice must have warned them.

Royal stalked past me without a glance.

Idiot.

Royal and I had never had an easy relationship—I'd offended him the very first time he'd heard me speak, and it was downhill from there—but it seemed like he was even more ill-tempered than usual the last few days. I sighed. Royal made everything about himself.

Jasper gave me half a smile as he walked by.

Good luck, he thought doubtfully.

Emmett rolled his eyes and shook his head.

Lost her mind, poor kid.

Alice was beaming, her teeth shining too brightly.

Can I talk to Bella now??

"Keep out of it," I said under my breath.

Her face fell, and then brightened again.

Fine. Be stubborn. It's only a matter of time.

I sighed again.

Don't forget about today's biology lab, she reminded me.

I nodded. No, I hadn't forgotten that.

While I waited for Bella to arrive, I followed her in the eyes of the freshman who was walking behind Jerremy o,n his way to the cafeteria. Jeremy was babbling about the upcoming dance, but Bella said nothing in response. Not that Jeremy gave her much of a chance.

The moment Bella walked through the door, her eyes flashed to the table where my siblings sat. She stared for a moment, and then her forehead crumpled and her eyes dropped to the floor. She hadn't noticed me here.

She looked so…sad. I felt a powerful urge to get up and go to her side, to comfort her somehow, only I didn't know what she would find comforting. I had no idea what made her look that way. Jeremy continued to jabber about the dance. Was Bella sad that she was going to miss it? That didn't seem likely…

But that could be remedied, if she wished.

She bought a drink for her lunch and nothing else. Was that right? Didn't she need more nutrition than that? I'd never paid much attention to a human's diet before.

Humans were quite exasperatingly fragile! There were a million different things to worry about…

"Edyth Cullen is staring at you again," I heard Jeremy say. "I wonder why she's sitting alone today?"

I was grateful to Jeremy because Bella's head snapped up and her eyes searched until they met mine.

There was no trace of sadness in her face now. I let myself hope that she'd been sad because she'd thought I'd left school early, and that hope made me smile.

I motioned with my finger for her to join me. She looked so startled by this that I wanted to tease her again.

So I winked, and her mouth fell open.

"Does she mean you?" Jeremy asked, his shock too apparent.

"Maybe she needs help with her Biology homework," she said in a low, uncertain voice. "Um, I'd better go see what she wants."

This was another yes.

She stumbled twice on her way to my table, though there was nothing in her way but perfectly even linoleum. Honestly, how had I missed this before? I'd been paying more attention to her silent thoughts, I supposed… What else had I missed?

Keep it honest, keep it light, I chanted to myself.

She stopped behind the chair across from me, hesitating. I inhaled deeply, through my nose this time rather than my mouth.

Feel the burn, I thought dryly.

"Why don't you sit with me today?" I asked her.

She pulled the chair out and sat, staring at me the whole while. She seemed nervous, but her physical acceptance was yet another yes.

I waited for her to speak.

It took a moment, but, finally, she said, "This is different."

Well…" I hesitated. "I decided as long as I was going to hell, I might as well do it thoroughly."

What had made me say that? I supposed it was honest, at least, if not light in the slightest. And perhaps she'd hear the unsubtle warning my words implied. Maybe she would realize that she should get up and walk away as quickly as possible…

She didn't get up. She stared at me, waiting, as if I'd left my sentence unfinished.

"You know I don't have any idea what you mean," she said when I didn't continue.

That was a relief. I smiled.

"I know."

It was hard to ignore the thoughts screaming at me from behind her back—and I wanted to change the subject anyway.

"I think your friends are angry at me for stealing you."

This did not appear to concern her. "They'll survive."

"I may not give you back, though." I didn't even know if I was trying to be honest now, or just trying to tease her again. Being near her made it hard to make sense of my own thoughts.

Bella's breath seemed to catch.

I laughed at her expression. "You look worried." It really shouldn't be funny… She should worry.

"No." She was a bad liar; it didn't help that her voice broke. "Surprised, actually… What brought this on?"

"I told you," I reminded her. "I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." I held my smile in place with a bit of effort. This wasn't working at all—trying to be honest and casual at the same time.

"Giving up?" she repeated, baffled.

"Yes—giving up trying to be good." And, apparently, giving up trying to be casual. "I'm just going to do what I want now, and let the chips fall where they may." That was honest enough. Let her see my selfishness. Let that warn her, too.

"You lost me again."

I was selfish enough to be glad that this was the case. "I always say too much when I'm talking to you—that's one of the problems."

A rather insignificant problem, compared to the rest.

"Don't worry," she reassured me. "I don't understand any of it."

Good. Then she'd stay. "I'm counting on that."

"So, in plain English, are we friends now?"

I pondered that for a second. "Friends…" I repeated. I didn't like the sound of that. It wasn't enough.

"Or not," she offered, looking slightly disappointed.

Did she think I didn't like her that much?

I smiled. "Well, we can try I suppose. But I'm warning you now that I'm not a good friend for you."

I waited for her response, torn in two—wishing she would finally hear and understand, thinking I might die if she did. How melodramatic. I was turning into such a human.

Her heart beat faster. "You say that a lot."

"Yes, because you're not listening to me," I said, too intense again. "I'm still waiting for you to hear me. If you're smart, you'll avoid me."

Ah, but would I be able to accept that, if she tried?

She smiled then, I couldn't stop my own smile from widening in response. "I thought we'd already come to the conclusion that I'm… what was it?Absurd. I suppose… not smart isn't far behind."

She was sharp, I was somehow always surprised by her. I smiled apologetically, realizing how unkind my previous words had been.

"So," she said slowly. "As long as I' being absurdly unintelligent," I laughed at her wry wit, she continued, "we'll try to be friends?"

"That sounds about right."

She looked down, staring intently at the lemonade bottle in her hands.

The old curiosity tormented me.

"What are you thinking?" I asked—it was a relief to say the words out loud instead of silently fuming over them.

She met my gaze, and her breathing sped while her cheeks flushed faint pink. I inhaled, tasting that in the air.

"I'm trying to figure out what you are."

I held the smile on my face, locking my features that way, while panic twisted though my body.

Of course she was wondering that. She wasn't stupid. I couldn't hope for her to be oblivious to something so obvious.

"Are you having any luck with that?" I asked as lightly as I could manage.

"Not too much," she admitted.

I chuckled in sudden relief. "What are your theories?"

They couldn't be worse than the truth, no matter what she'd come up with.

Her cheeks turned a brighter red, and she said nothing. I could feel the warmth of her blush in the air.

I tried using my persuasive tone on her It worked well on normal humans.

"Won't you tell me?" I smiled encouragingly.

She shook her head. "Too embarrassing."

Ugh. Not knowing was worse than anything else. Why would her speculations embarrass her? I couldn't stand not knowing.

"That's really frustrating, you know."

My complaint sparked something in her. Her eyes flashed and she raised an eyebrow. Her words flowed more swiftly than usual.

"Really? Like, someone refusing to tell you what they're thinking, even if all the while she's making cryptic little remarks specifically designed to keep you up at night wondering what she could possibly mean… frustrating like that?"

I frowned at her, upset to realize that she was right. I wasn't being fair.

She went on. "Or is it frustrating like, say, she's also done a bunch of other strange things—for example, saving your life under impossible circumstances one day, then treating you like a pariah the next—and she never explained that, either, even after she promised she would. Frustrating like that?"

It was the longest speech I'd ever heard her make, and it gave me a new quality for my list. She believed in fairness. She didn't like double standards.

And she was right, of course. She seemed to be right about most things.

"You're still not over that, are you?"

"No, not quite." she said, eyebrow still raised.

"Would an apology help?"

"It wouldn't hurt."

I smiled at her, "I'm sorry I broke my promise."

She blushed again. "Th-thank you." Her voice was soft, almost surprised. "It's still not an explanation."

I stared at Bella, wondering how I could possibly do anything right by her, until the silent shouting in Makayla Newton's head distracted me.

She was so irate that it made me chuckle.

"What?" She asked.

"Your girlfriend seems to think I'm being unpleasant to you—she's debating whether or not to come break up our fight." I would love to see her try. I laughed again.

"I don't have a girlfriend," she said, coolly, "and you're trying to change the subject."

I very much enjoyed the way she disowned her with her dismissive sentence. I chose to ignore the latter part of her statement.

"You might not think of her that way, but she wishes you did."

"You don't know that."

"I do. I told you, most people are easy to read."

"Except me, of course."

"Yes. Except for you." Did she have to be the exception to everything? Wouldn't it have been more fair—considering everything else I had to deal with now—if I could have at least heard something from her head? Was that so much to ask? "I wonder why that is?"

I stared into her eyes, trying again…

She looked away. She opened her lemonade and took a quick drink, her eyes on the table.

"Aren't you hungry?" I asked.

"No." She eyed the table between us. "You?"

"No, I'm not hungry," I said. I was definitely not that.

She stared at the table, her lips pursed. I waited.

"Can you do me a favor?" she asked, suddenly meeting my gaze again.

What would she want from me? Would she ask for the truth that I wasn't allowed to tell her—the truth I didn't want her to ever, ever know?

"That depends on what you want."

"It's not much," she promised.

I waited, curious again.

"Could you warn me beforehand?" she said slowly, staring at the lemonade bottle, tracing its lip with her littlest finger. "The next time you decide to ignore me for my own good? Just so I'm prepared."

She wanted a warning? Then being ignored by me must be a bad thing… I smiled.

"That sounds fair," I agreed.

"Thanks," she said, looking up. Her face was so relieved that I wanted to laugh with my own relief.

"Then can I have a favor in return?" I asked hopefully.

"One," she allowed.

"Tell me one theory."

She flushed. "Not that favor."

"You didn't qualify, you just promised one favor," I argued.

"And you've broken promises yourself," she deftly countered.

She had me there.

"Just one theory—I won't laugh."

"Yes, you will." She seemed very sure of that, though I couldn't imagine anything that would be funny about it.

I gave persuasion another try. I stared deep into her eyes—an easy thing to do, with eyes so deep—and whispered, "Please?"

She blinked, and her face went blank.

Well, that wasn't exactly the reaction I'd been going for.

"Er, what?" she asked. She looked dizzy. What was wrong with her?

But I wasn't giving up yet.

"Tell me just one little theory," I pleaded in my soft, non-frightening voice, holding her eyes in mine. "Please?"

To my surprise and satisfaction, it finally worked.

"Um, well, bitten by a radioactive spider?"

Comic books? No wonder she thought I would laugh.

"That's not very creative," I chided her, trying to hide my fresh relief.

"I'm sorry, that's all I've got," she said, offended.

This relieved me even more. I was able to tease her again.

"You're not even close."

"No spiders?"

"Nope."

"And no radioactivity?"

"None."

"Dang," she sighed.

"Kryptonite doesn't bother me, either," I said quickly—before she could ask about bites—and then I had to laugh, because she thought I was a superhero.

"You're not supposed to laugh, remember?"

I pressed my lips together.

"I'll figure it out eventually," she promised.

And when she did, she would run.

"I wish you wouldn't try," I said, all teasing gone.

"Because…?"

I owed her honesty. Still, I tried to smile, to make my words sound less threatening. "What if I'm not a superhero? What if I'm the bad guy?"

Her eyes widened by a fraction and her lips fell slightly apart. "Oh," she said. And then, after another second, "I see."

She'd finally heard me.

"Do you?" I asked, working to conceal my agony.

"You're dangerous?" she guessed. Her breathing hiked, and her heart raced.

I couldn't answer her. Was this my last moment with her? Would she run now? Could I be allowed to tell her that I loved her before she left? Or would that frighten her more?

"But not the bad guy," she whispered, shaking her head, no fear in her clear eyes. "No, I don't believe that."

"You're wrong," I breathed.

Of course I was bad. Wasn't I rejoicing now, that she thought better of me than I deserved? If I were a good person, I would have stayed away from her.

I stretched my hand across the table, reaching for the lid to her lemonade bottle as an excuse. She did not flinch away from my suddenly closer hand. She really was not afraid of me. Not yet.

I spun the lid like a top, watching it instead of her. My thoughts were in a snarl.

Run, Bella, run. I couldn't make myself say the words out loud.

She jumped to her feet. "We're going to be late," she said, just as I'd started to worry that she'd somehow heard my silent warning.

"I'm not going to class today."

"Why not?"

Because I don't want to kill you. "It's healthy to ditch class now and then." I looked up at her piercing blue eyes, and tried to smile casually.

To be precise, it was healthier for humans if the vampires ditched on days when human blood would be spilt. Mrs. Banner was blood typing today. Alice had already ditched her morning class.

"Well, I'm going," she said. This didn't surprise me. She was responsible—she always did the right thing.

She was my opposite.

"I'll see you later then," I said, trying for casual again, staring back down at the whirling lid.And, by the way, I adore you… in frightening, dangerous ways.

She hesitated, and I hoped for a moment that she would stay with me after all. But the bell rang and she hurried away.

I waited until she was gone, and then I put the lid in my pocket—a souvenir of this most consequential conversation—and walked through the rain to my car.

I put on my favorite calming CD—the same one I'd listened to that first day—but I wasn't hearing Debussy's notes for long. Other notes were running through my head, a fragment of a tune that pleased and intrigued me. I turned down the stereo and listened to the music in my head, playing with the fragment until it evolved into a fuller harmony. Instinctively, my fingers moved in the air over imaginary piano keys.

The new composition was really coming along when my attention was caught by a wave of mental anguish.

I looked toward the distress.

Is she going to pass out? What do I do? Makayla panicked.

A hundred yards away,Makaya Newton was lowering Bella's limp body to the sidewalk. She slumped unresponsively against the wet concrete, her eyes closed, her skin chalky as a corpse.

I almost took the door off the car.

"Bella?" I shouted.

There was no change in her lifeless face when I yelled her name.

My whole body went colder than ice.

I was aware of Makayla's aggravated surprise as I sifted furiously through her thoughts. She was only thinking of her anger towards me, so I didn't know what was wrong with Bella. If she'd done something to harm her, I would annihilate her.

"What's wrong—is she hurt?" I demanded, trying to focus on her thoughts. It was maddening to have to walk at a human pace. I should not have called attention to my approach.

Then I could hear Bella's heart beating and her even breath. As I watched, she squeezed her eyes more tightly shut. That eased some of my panic.

I saw a flicker of memories in Makayla's head, a splash of images from the Biology room. Bella's head on our table, her fair skin turning green. Drops of red against the white cards…

Blood typing.

I stopped where I was, holding my breath. Her scent was one thing, her flowing blood was another altogether.

"I think she fainted," Makayla said, anxious and resentful at the same time. "I don't know what happened, she didn't even stick her finger."

Relief washed through me, and I breathed again, tasting the air. Ah, I could smell the tiny flow of Makayla Newton's puncture wound. Once, that might have appealed to me.

I knelt beside Bella while Makayla hovered next to me, furious at my intervention.

"Bella. Can you hear me?"

"No," she moaned. "Go away."

The relief was so exquisite that I laughed. She was fine.

"I was taking her to the nurse," Makayla said. "But she wouldn't go any farther."

"I'll take her. You can go back to class," I said dismissively.

Makayla's teeth clenched together. "What? No. I'm supposed to do it."

I wasn't going to stand around arguing with the wretch.

Thrilled and terrified, half-grateful to and half-aggrieved by the predicament which made touching her a necessity, I gently lifted Bella from the sidewalk and held her in my arms, touching only her clothes, keeping as much distance between our bodies as possible. I was striding forward in the same movement, in a hurry to have her safe—farther away from me, in other words.

Her eyes popped open, astonished.

"I'm fine, I swear. Put me down," she ordered in a weak voice—embarrassed again, I guessed from her expression. She didn't like to show weakness.

I barely heard Makayla's shouted protest behind us.

"You look awful," I told her, grinning because there was nothing wrong with her but a light head and a weak stomach.

"Put me back on the sidewalk," she said. Her lips were white. "I'll be fine in a few minutes."

"So you faint at the sight of blood?" Could it possibly be any more ironic?

She closed her eyes and pressed her lips together.

"And not even your own blood," I added, my grin widening.

We were to the front office. The door was propped an inch open, and I kicked it out of my way.

Ms. Cope jumped, startled. "Oh, my," she gasped as she examined the ashen girl in my arms.

"She fainted in Biology," I explained, before her imagination could get too out of hand.

Ms. Cope hurried to open the door to the nurse's office. Bella's eyes were open again, watching her. I heard the elderly nurse's internal astonishment as I laid the girl carefully on the shabby bed. As soon as Bella was out of my arms, I put the width of the room between us. My body was too excited, too eager, my muscles tense and the venom flowing. She was so warm and fragrant.

"She's just a little faint," I reassured Mrs. Hammond. "They're blood typing in biology."

She nodded, understanding now. "There's always one."

I stifled a laugh. Trust Bella to be that one.

"Just lie down for a minute, honey," Mrs. Hammond said. "It'll pass."

"I know," Bella said.

"Does this happen often?" the nurse asked.

"Sometimes," Bella admitted.

I tried to disguise my laughter as coughing.

This brought me back to the nurse's attention. "You can go back to class now," she said.

I looked her straight in the eye and lied with perfect confidence. "I'm supposed to stay with her."

Hmm. I wonder… oh well.Mrs. Hammond nodded.

It worked fine on her. Why did Bella have to be so difficult?

"I'll go get you some ice for your forehead, dear," the nurse said, slightly uncomfortable from looking into my eyes—the way a humanshouldbe—and left the room.

"You were right," Bella moaned, closing her eyes.

What did she mean? I jumped to the worst conclusion: she'd accepted my warnings.

"I usually am," I said, trying to keep the amusement in my voice; it sounded sour now. "but about what in particular this time?"

"Ditchingishealthy," she sighed.

Ah, relief again.

She was silent then. She just breathed slowly in and out. Her lips were beginning to turn pink. Her mouth was slightly out of balance, her lower lip just a little too full to match the top. Staring at her mouth made me feel strange. Made me want to move closer to her, which was not a good idea.

"You scared me for a minute there," I said—to restart the conversation so that I could hear her voice again. "I thought Newton was dragging your dead body off to bury it in the woods."

"Hilarious," she said.

"Honestly—I've seen corpses with better color." This was actually true. "I was concerned that I might have to avenge your murder." And I would have.

"That's morbid."

I had to chuckle at her dry delivery.

"Poor Makayla," she sighed. "I'll bet she's mad."

Fury pulsed through me, but I contained it quickly. Her concern was surely just pity. She was kind. That was all.

"She absolutely loathes me," I told her, cheered by the idea.

"You can't know that."

"I saw her face—I could tell." It was probably true that reading her face would have given me enough information to make that particular deduction. All this practice with Bella was sharpening my skill at reading human expressions.

"How did you see me? I thought you were ditching." Her face looked better—the green undertone had vanished from her translucent skin.

"I was in my car, listening to a CD."

Her expression twitched, like my very ordinary answer had surprised her somehow.

She opened her eyes again when Mrs. Hammond returned with an ice pack.

"Here you go, dear," the nurse said as she laid it across Bella's forehead. "You're looking better."

"I think I'm fine," Bella said, and she sat up while pulling the ice pack away. Of course. She didn't like to be taken care of.

Mrs. Hammond's wrinkled hands fluttered toward her, as if she were going to push her back down, but just then Ms. Cope opened the door to the office and leaned in. With her appearance came the smell of fresh blood, just a whiff.

Invisible in the office behind her, Makayla Newton was still very angry, wishing the heavy boy she dragged now was the girl who was in here with me.

"We've got another one," Ms. Cope said.

Bella quickly jumped down from the cot, eager to be out of the spotlight.

"Here," she said, handing the compress back to Mrs. Hammond. "I don't need this."

Makayla grunted as she half-shoved Lee Stevens through the door. Blood was still dripping down the hand Lee held to his face, trickling toward his wrist.

"Oh no." This was my cue to leave—and Bella's, too, it seemed. "Get out to the office, Bella."

She stared at me with bewildered eyes.

"Trust me—go."

She whirled and caught the door before it had swung shut, rushing through to the office. I followed a few inches behind her.

She turned to look at me, still wide-eyed.

"You actually listened to me." That was a first.

Her nose wrinkled. "I smelled the blood."

I stared at her in blank surprise. "People can't smell blood."

"Yeah, I can."

"No." I argued, stubbornly. "Humans can smell the iron in blood, but only when it's rubbed against skin or sometimes when there are large amounts or it's dried." I paused for a fraction of a second. I slipped up again. The way I had saidhumans. Like I wasn't one. I only hoped she hadn't caught that. It was foolish of me to hope. She noticed everything. I continued. "Either way, you shouldn't be able to smell a pinprick of fresh blood."

"Well, I can—that's what makes me sick. It smells like rust… and salt."

My face froze, still staring.

Wasshereally even human? Shelookedhuman. She felt soft as a human. She smelled human—well, better actually. She acted human… sort of. But she didn't think like a human, or respond like one.

What other option was there, though?

"What?' she demanded.

"It's nothing."

Makayla Newton interrupted us then, entering the room with resentful, violent thoughts.

"Youlook better," she said to Bella rudely.

My hand twitched, wanting to teach her some manners. I would have to watch myself, or I would end up actually killing this obnoxious girl.

"Just keep your hand in your pocket," Bella said. For one wild second, I thought she was talking to me.

"It's not bleeding anymore," Makayla answered sullenly. "Are you going back to class?"

"Are you kidding? I'd just have to turn around and come back."

That was very good. I'd thought I was going to have to miss this whole hour with her, and now I got extra time instead. I felt greedy, a miser hoarding over each minute.

"Yeah, I guess…" Makayla mumbled. "So are you going this weekend? To the beach?"

Ah, they had plans. Anger froze me in place. It was a group trip, though. I'd seen some of this in other students' heads. It wasn't just the two of them. I was still furious. I leaned motionlessly against the counter, trying to control myself.

"Sure, I said I was in," Bella promised Makayla.

So she'd said yes to her, too. The jealousy burned, more painful than thirst.

No, it was just a group outing, I tried to convince myself. She was just spending the day with friends. Nothing more.

"We're meeting at my dad's store, at ten."And Cullen's not invited.

"I'll be there," Bella said.

"I'll see you in Gym, then."

"Yeah, see you," she replied.

Makayla shuffled off to her class, her thoughts full of ire.What does Bella see in that freak? Sure, she's rich I guess. I suppose she's good looking, but she's too… too perfect. I bet her dad experiments with plastic surgery on all of them. That's why they're all so pale and pretty. It's not natural. And she's sort of… scary-looking. Sometimes, when she stares at me, I'd swear she's thinking about killing me… Freak…

Makayla wasn't entirely unperceptive.

"Gym," Bella repeated quietly. A groan.

I looked at her, and saw that she was sad about something again. I wasn't sure why, but it was clear that she didn't want to go to her next class with Makayla, and I was all for that plan.

I went to her side and bent close to her face, feeling the warmth of her skin radiating out to my lips. I didn't dare breathe.

"I can take care of that," I murmured. "Go sit down and look pale."

She did as I asked, sitting in one of the folding chairs and leaning her head back against the wall, while, behind me, Ms. Cope came out of the back room and went to her desk. With her eyes closed, Bella looked as if she'd passed out again. Her full color hadn't returned yet.

I turned to the secretary. Hopefully Bella was paying attention to this, I thought sardonically. This was how a human wassupposedto respond.

"Ms. Cope?" I asked, using my persuasive voice again.

Her eyelashes fluttered, and her heart sped up.Too young, get a hold of yourself!"Yes?"

That was interesting. When Shelly Cope's pulse quickened, it was because she found me physically attractive, not because she was frightened. I was used to that around humans… yet, I hadn't considered that explanation for Bella's racing heart.

I rather liked that. Too much, in fact. I smiled, and Ms. Cope's breathing got louder.

"Bella has gym next hour, and I don't think she feels well enough. Actually, I was thinking I should take her home now. Do you think you could excuse her from class?" I stared into her depthless eyes, enjoying the havoc that this wreaked on her thought processes. Was it possible that Bella…?

Ms. Cope had to swallow loudly before she answered. "Do you need to be excused, too, Edyth?"

"No, I have Mrs. Goff, she won't mind."

I wasn't paying much attention to her now. I was exploring this new possibility.

Hmm. I'd like to believe that Bella found me attractive like other humans did, but when did Bella ever have the same reactions as other humans? I shouldn't get my hopes up.

"Okay, it's all taken care of. You feel better, Bella."

Bella nodded weakly—overacting a bit.

"Can you walk, or do you want me to carry you again?" I asked, amused by her poor theatrics. I knew she would want to walk—she wouldn't want to be weak.

"I'll walk," she said.

Right again. I was getting better at this.

She got up, hesitating for a moment as if to check her balance. I held the door for her, and we walked out into the rain.

I watched her as she lifted her face to the light rain with her eyes closed, a slight smile on her lips.What was she thinking? I stared, nearly in awe, of the subtle beauty of her. Her skin was beautiful, flawless. Her dark curls, dampened by the rain, clung to her ivory face.

"Thanks," she said, smiling at me now. "It's worth getting sick to miss Gym."

I stared across the campus, wondering how to prolong my time with her. "Anytime," I said.

"So are you going? This Saturday, I mean?" she sounded hopeful.

Ah, her hope was soothing. She wanted me with her, not Makayla Newton. And I wanted to say yes. But there were many things to consider. For one, the sun would be shining this Saturday…

"Where are you all going, exactly?" I tried to keep my voice nonchalant, as if it didn't matter much. Makayla had saidbeach, though. Not much chance of avoiding sunlight there.

"Down to La Push, to First Beach."

Damn. Well, it was impossible, then.

Anyway, Emmett would be irritated if I cancelled our plans.

I glanced down at her, smiling wryly. "I really don't think I was invited."

She sighed, already resigned. "I just invited you."

"Let's you and I not push poor Makayla any further this week. We don't want her to snap." I thought about snappingpoor Makaylamyself, and enjoyed the mental picture intensely.

"Makayla-schmakayla," she said, dismissive again. I smiled widely.

And then she started to walk away from me.

Without thinking about my action, I reached out and caught her by the back of her rain jacket. She jerked to a stop.

"Where do you think you're going?" My voice sounded surprised, perhaps from my actions, but I couldn't stand the thought of her leaving me. I hadn't had enough time with her. She couldn't go, not so soon.

"I'm going home," she said, baffled as to why this should upset me.

"Did you hear me promise to take you safely home? Do you think I'm going to let you drive in your condition?" I knew she wouldn't likethat—my implication of weakness on her part. But I needed to practice for the Seattle trip, anyway. See if I could handle her proximity in an enclosed space. This was a much shorter journey.

"What condition?" she demanded. "And what about my truck?"

"You've had quite the day, Bella." I smiled soothingly.

"Okay, so what do you suggest?"

Her annoyed expression made me smile wider, "I suggest that you get into my car, and you let me drive you home."

She narrowed her eyes at me. "Okay, first of all that's not necessary, and second, what about my truck?"

"Necessary is a subjective word." I grinned. "I'll have Alice drop it off after school."

She turned to face me, and I reluctantly let go of her jacket. She looked up at me, first with defiance, but it seemed to waver slightly after a moment. She didn't speak.

"Are you going to put up a fuss?"

"Is there any point in resisting?" She sighed, defeated.

I grinned.Oh, but it's I who can't resist you.

"It warms my cold heart to see you learning so quickly." I gestured in the direction of the car. "This way."

"You're not cute." She narrowed her eyes at me and I had to laugh at her expression.

"It's open."

I got in on my side and started the car. She held her body rigidly, still outside, though the rain had picked up and I knew she didn't like the cold and wet. Water was soaking through her thick hair, darkening it to near black.

"I really am perfectly capable of driving myself home!"

Of course she was—I just wasn't capable of letting her go.

I lowered her window and leaned toward her. "Get in, Bella."

Her eyes narrowed and she stayed perfectly still.

I sighed in frustration. "Please, Bella?" I suppose I could add stubborn to my list of qualities.

"This is really unnecessary," She said with a resigned sigh as she opened her door and climbed in. Her hair dripped on the leather and her boots squeaked against each other.

I smiled at my victory as I turned up the heater so she wouldn't be uncomfortable, and set the music to a nice background level. I drove out toward the exit, watching her from the corner of my eye. Her lower lip was jutting out stubbornly. I stared at this, examining how it made me feel… thinking of the secretary's reaction again…

Suddenly she looked at the stereo and smiled, her eyes widening. "Clair de Lune?" she asked.

A fan of the classics? "You know Debussy?"

"Not well," she said. "My mother plays a lot of classical music around the house—I only know my favorites."

"It's one of my favorites, too." I stared at the rain, considering that. I actually had something in common with her. I'd begun to think that we were polar opposites in every way.

"Well, imagine that," she said softly, "We have something in common."

If I didn't know any better, I'd have sworn she could read my mind. I smiled at her words.

She seemed more relaxed now, staring at the rain like me, with unseeing eyes. I used her momentary distraction to experiment with breathing.

I inhaled carefully through my nose.

Potent.

I clutched at the steering wheel tighter. The rain made her smell better. I wouldn't have thought that was possible. Stupidly, I was suddenly imagining how she would taste.

I tried to swallow against the burn in my throat, to think of something else.

"What is your mother like?" I asked as a distraction.

Bella smiled and she glanced over to me. "She looks a lot like me—same eyes, same chin."

So I had her mother to thank for those brilliant eyes.

"I have Charlie's hair, though," she went on. "My mom is more outgoing than I am, and braver."

I doubted that, too.

"She's irresponsible and slightly eccentric, and she's a very unpredictable cook. She's my best friend." Her voice had turned melancholy; her forehead creased.

Again, she sounded more like parent than child.

I stopped in front of her house, wondering too late if I was supposed to know where she lived. No, this wouldn't be suspicious in such a small town, with her father a public figure…

"How old are you, Bella?" She must be older than her peers. Perhaps she'd been late to start school, or been held back… that wasn't likely, though.

"I'm seventeen," she answered.

"You don't seem seventeen."

She laughed.

"What?"

"My mom always says I was born thirty-five years old and that I get more middle-aged every year." She laughed again, and then she sighed. "Well, someone has to be the adult."

This clarified things for me. I could see it now… how the irresponsible mother helped explain Bella's maturity. She'd had to grow up early, to become the caretaker. That's why she didn't like being cared for—she felt it was her job.

"You don't seem much like a junior in high school yourself," she said, pulling me from my reverie.

I grimaced. For everything I perceived about her, she perceived too much in return. I changed the subject.

"So why did your mother marry Phil?"

She hesitated a minute before answering. "My mother… she's very young for her age. I think Phil makes her feel even younger. At any rate, she's crazy about him." She shook her head indulgently.

"Do you approve?" I wondered.

"Does it matter?" she asked. "I want her to be happy… and he is who she wants."

The unselfishness of her comment would have shocked me, except that it fit in all too well with what I'd learned of her character.

"That's very generous… I wonder."

"What?"

"Would she extend the same courtesy to you, do you think? No matter who your choice was?"

It was a foolish question, and I could not keep my voice casual while I asked it. How stupid to even consider someone approving ofmefor their daughter. How stupid to even think of Bella choosing me.

"I-I think so," she stuttered, reacting in some way to my gaze. Fear… or attraction?

"But she's the parent, after all. It's a little bit different," she finished.

I smiled wryly. "No one too scary then."

She grinned at me. "What do you mean by scary? Multiple facial piercings and extensive tattoos?"

"That's one definition, I suppose." A very nonthreatening definition, to my mind.

"What's your definition?"

She always asked the wrong questions. Or exactly the right questions, maybe. The ones I didn't want to answer, at any rate.

"Do you think thatIcould be scary?" I asked her, trying to smile a little.

She thought it through before answering me in a serious voice. "Hmm… I think youcouldbe, if you wanted to."

I was serious, too. "Are you frightened of me now?"

She answered at once, not thinking this one through. "No."

I smiled more easily. I did not think she was entirely telling the truth, nor was she truly lying. She wasn't frightened enough to leave, at least. I wondered how she would feel if I told her she was having a discussion with a vampire. I cringed internally at her imagined reaction.

"So, now are you going to tell me about your family? It's got to be a much more interesting story than mine."

A more frightening one, at least.

"What do you want to know?" I asked cautiously.

"The Cullens adopted you?"

"Yes."

She hesitated, then spoke in a small voice. "What happened to your parents?"

This wasn't so hard; I wasn't even having to lie to her. "They died a very long time ago."

"I'm sorry," she mumbled, clearly worried about having hurt me.

Shewas worried aboutme.

"I don't really remember them that clearly," I assured her. "Carlisle and Esme have been my parents for a long time now."

"And you love them," she deduced.

I smiled. "Yes. I couldn't imagine two better people."

"You're very lucky."

"I know I am." In that one circumstance, the matter of parents, my luck could not be denied.

"And your brother and sister?"

If I let her push for too many details, I would have to lie. I glanced at the clock, disheartened that my time with her was up.

"My brother and sister, and Jasper and Royal for that matter, are going to be quite upset if they have to stand in the rain waiting for me."

"Oh, sorry, I guess you have to go."

She didn't move. She didn't want our time to be up, either. I liked that very, very much.

"And you probably want your truck back before Chief Swan gets home, so you don't have to tell him about the Biology incident." I grinned at the memory of her embarrassment in my arms.

"I'm sure he's already heard. There's no secrets in Forks." She said it with a resigned sigh.

I laughed at her words. No secrets, indeed. "Have fun at the beach." I glanced at the pouring rain, knowing it would not last, and wishing more strongly than usual that it could. "Good weather for sunbathing." Well, it would be by Saturday. She would enjoy that.

"Won't I see you tomorrow?"

The worry in her tone pleased me.

"No. Emmett and I are starting the weekend early." I was mad at myself now for having made the plans. I could break them… but there was no such thing as too much hunting at this point, and my family was going to be concerned enough about my behavior without me revealing how obsessive I was turning.

"What are you going to do?" she asked, disappointed with my revelation.

Good.

"We're going to be hiking in the Goat Rocks Wilderness, just south of Rainier." Emmett was eager for bear season.

"Oh, well, have fun," she said halfheartedly. Her lack of enthusiasm pleased me again.

As I stared at her, I began to feel almost agonized at the thought of saying even a temporary goodbye.She was just so soft and vulnerable. It seemed foolhardy to let her out of my sight, where anything could happen to her. And yet, the worst things that could happen to her would result from being with me.

"Will you do something for me this weekend?" I asked seriously.

She nodded, her eyes wide and bewildered by my intensity.

Keep it light.

"Don't be offended, but you seem to be one of those people who just attract accidents like a magnet. So… try not to fall into the ocean or get run over or anything, all right?"

I smiled ruefully at her, hoping she couldn't see the sadness in my eyes. How much I wished that she wasn't so much better off away from me, no matter what might happen to her there.

Run, Bella, run. I love you too much, for your good or mine.

She was offended by my teasing. She narrowed her eyes at me. "I'll see what I can do," she said curtly. I smirked as she jumped out into the rain, making a run for the porch.

The piercing stab of her blue eyes still burned in my own.

I curled my hand around the key I'd just picked from her jacket pocket, and smiled as I drove away


	12. scary stories bella pov

**so guys trust me im not copying and pasting the book lol. what i do is i write it on a paper the chapter and decide what i wanna change and i type it up. like for example in my version Bella doesnt have a chip on her shoulder and Edyth is less bossy lol. Oh and julie is a year younger than bella. But the farther i get into the series the more things will change and especially breaking dawn cuz Edyth cant get bella pregnant. And after chapter 12 of midnight sun ill be on my own in Edyth pov cuz thats as far as meyer got. And id like to say this is a fan product its just for fun im in no way making money off this lol anyway thats all :)**

As I sat in my room, trying to concentrate on the third act ofMacbeth, I was really listening for my truck. I would have thought, even over the pouring rain, I could have heard the engine's roar. But when I went to peek out the curtain—again—it was suddenly there.

I wasn't looking forward to waking up on Friday, and it more than lived up to my negative expectations. Of course, there were the fainting comments. Jeremy especially seemed to get a kick out of that story. Luckily Makayla had kept her mouth shut, and no one seemed to know about Edyth's involvement. He did have a lot of questions about lunch, though.

"So what did Edyth Cullen want yesterday?" Jeremy asked in Trig.

"I don't know," I answered truthfully. "She never really got to the point."

"You looked kind of anxious," he finished.

"Did I?" I kept my expression blank.

"You know, I've never seen her sit with anyone but her family before. That was weird."

"Weird," I agreed

He seemed disappointed; he rubbed his hair emphatically—I guessed he'd been hoping to hear something exciting.

The worst part about Friday was that, even thought I knew she wasn't going to be there, I still hoped. When I walked into the cafeteria with Jeremy and Makayla, I couldn't keep from looking at her table, where Royal, Alice, and Jasper sat talking, heads close together. I wondered how Alice felt about having to drive my truck home last night.

At my usual table, everyone was full of our plans for the next day. Makayla was animated again, putting a great deal of trust in the local weatherman who promised sun tomorrow. I'd have to see that before I believed it. But it was warmer today—almost sixty. Maybe the outing wouldn't be completely miserable.

I intercepted a few unfriendly glances from a boy with silver blond hair who I didn't know, which I didn't understand until I was walking out of the room. I was right behind him and he was talking animatedly to a girl who also had sleek, silver blond hair, who I realized was Lauren.

"…don't know whyIsabella"—he sneered my name—"doesn't just sit with the Cullens from now on," the boy was muttering to Lauren in a nasal, malicious voice. Lauren's body language seemed to indicate she was put out.

"She's our friend; she sits with us," Lauren whispered back kindly.

I paused to let Jeremy and Allen pass me. I didn't want to hear anymore.

That night at dinner, Charlie seemed enthusiastic about my trip to La Push in the morning. I think he felt guilty for leaving me home alone on the weekends, but he'd spent too many years building his habits to break them now. Of course he knew the names of all the kids going, and their parents, and their great-grandparents, too, probably. He seemed to approve. I wondered if he would approve of my plan to ride to Seattle with Edyth Cullen. Not that I was going to mention it.

"Dad, do you know a place called Goat Rocks or something like that? I think it's south of Mount Rainier," I asked casually.

"Yeah—why?"

I shrugged. "Some kids were talking about camping there."

"It's not a very good place for camping." He sounded surprised. "Too many bears. Most people go there during the hunting season."

"Oh." I murmured. "Maybe I got the name wrong."

I meant to sleep in, but the light woke me. I opened my eyes to see a clear yellow light streaming through my window. I couldn't believe it. I hurried to the window to check, and sure enough, there was the sun. It was in the wrong place in the sky, too low, and it didn't seem to be as close as it should be, but it was definitely the sun. Clouds ringed the horizon, but a large patch of blue was visible in the middle. I lingered by the window as long as I could, afraid that if I left the blue would disappeared again.

The Newtons' Olympic Outfitters store was just north of town. I'd seen the store, but I'd never stopped there—not having much need for any supplies required for being outdoors over an extended period of time. In the parking lot I recognized Makayla's Suburban and Taylor's Sentra. As I pulled up next to their vehicles, I could see the group standing around in front of the Suburban. Eric was there, along with two kids I had class with; I was fairly sure their names were Becca and Conner. Jeremy was there, flanked by Allen and Lauren. Two other girls stood with them, as well as the boy who had been whispering to Lauren in the cafeteria. He gave me a dirty look as I got out of the truck, and tried to whisper something to Lauren, she shook out her beautiful hair and tried to ignore him.

So it was going to be one ofthosedays.

At least Makayla was happy to see me.

"You came!" she called, delighted. "And I said it would be sunny today, didn't I?" "I told you I was coming," I reminded her.

"We're just waiting for Lee and Samantha… unless you invited someone," Makayla added.

"Nope," I lied lightly, hoping I wouldn't get caught in the lie. But also wishing that Edyth would just show up out of nowhere like she always seemed to do.

Makayla look satisfied, anyway.

"Will you ride in my car? It's that or Lee's mom's minivan."

"Sure."

She smiled blissfully. It was so easy to make Makayla happy.

"You can have shotgun," she promised. I hid my chagrin. It wasn't as simple to make Makayla and Jeremy happy at the same time. I could see Jeremy looking at us with a strange, confused look. At this point I had decided that Makayla might like both meandJeremy but, like a puppy, she could only focus on one of us at a time.

The numbers worked out in my favor, though. Lee brought two extra people, and suddenly every seat was necessary. I managed to wedge Jeremy in between Makayla and me in the front seat of the Suburban. Makayla could have been more graceful about it, but at least Jeremy seemed elated.

It was only fifteen miles to La Push from Forks, with gorgeous, dense green forests edging the road most of the way and the wide Quillayute River snaking beneath is twice. I was glad I had the window seat. We'd rolled the windows down—the Suburban was a bit claustrophobic with nine people in it—and I tried to absorb as much sunlight as possible.

I'd been to the beaches around La Push many times during my Forks summers with Charlie, so the mile-long crescent of First Beach was familiar to me. It was still breathtaking. The water was dark gray, even in the sunlight, white-capped and heaving to the gray, rocky shore. Islands rose out of the steel harbor waters with sheer cliff sides, reaching to uneven summits, and crowned with austere, soaring firs. The beach had only a thin border of actual sand at the water's edge, after which it grew into millions of large, smooth stones that looked uniformly gray from a distance, but close up were every shade a stone could be: terra-cotta, sea green, lavender, blu gray, dull gold. The tide line was strewn with huge driftwood trees, bleached bone white in the salt waves, some piled together against the edge of the forest fringe, some lying solitary, just out of reach of the waves.

There was a brisk wind coming off the waves, cool and briny. Pelicans floated on the swells while seagulls and a lone eagle wheeled above them. The clouds still circled the sky, threatening to invade at any moment, but for now the sun shone bravely in its halo of blue sky.

We picked our way down to the beach, Makayla leading the way to a ring of driftwood logs that had obviously been used for parties like ours before. There was a fire circle already in place, filled with black ashes. Eric and the girl I thought was named Becca gathered broken branches of driftwood from the drier piles against the forest edge, and soon had a teepee-shaped construction build atop the old cinders.

"Have you ever seen a driftwood fire?" Makayla asked me. I was sitting on one of the bone-colored benches; the other girls clustered, gossiping excitedly, on either side of me. Makayla kneeled by the fire, lighting one of the smaller sticks with a cigarette lighter.

"No," I said as she placed the blazing twig carefully against the teepee.

"You'll like this then—watch the colors." She lit another small branch and laid it alongside the first. The flames started to lick quickly up the dry wood.

"It's blue," I laughed in surprise.

"The salt does it. Pretty, isn't it?" She lit one more piece, placed it where the fire hadn't yet caught, and then came to sit by me. Thankfully, Jeremy was on her other side. He turned to her and claimed her attention. I watched the strange blue and green flames crackle toward the sky.

After a half hour of chatter, some of the boys wanted to hike to the nearby tidal pools. It was a dilemma. On the one hand, I loved the tide pools. They had fascinated me since I was a child; they were one of the only things I ever looked forward to when I had come to Forks. On the other hand, I'd also fallen into them a lot. Not a big deal when you're seven and with your dad. It reminded me of Edyth's request—that I not fall into the ocean.

Lauren's mean friend, who I found out was her twin brother, Logan, made the decision for me. He didn't want to hike, and he was definitely wearing the wrong shoes for it. Lauren sighed and dutifully stayed behind with her brother. Most of the others besides Allen and Jeremy decided to stay on the beach as well. I waited until Taylor and Eric had committed to remaining with them before I got up to join the pro-hiking group. Makayla gave me a huge smile when she saw I was coming.

The hike wasn't too long, though I hated to lose the sky in the woods. The green light of the forest was strangely at odds with the adolescent laughter, too murky and ominous to be in harmony with the light banter around me. I had to watch each step I took very carefully, avoiding roots below and branches above, and I soon fell behind. Eventually I broke through the emerald confines of the forest and found the rocky shore again. It was a low tide, and a tidal river flowed past us on its way out to the sea. Along its pebbled banks, shallow pools that never completely drained were teeming with life.

I was very careful not to lean too far over the little ocean ponds. The others were fearless, leaping over the rocks, perching precariously on the edges. I found a very stable-looking rock on the fringe of one of the largest pools and sat there cautiously, spellbound by the natural aquarium below me. The bouquets of brilliant anemones undulated ceaselessly in the invisible current, twisted shells scurried about the edges, obscuring the crabs within them, starfish stuck motionless to the rocks and each other, while one small black eel with white racing stripes wove through the bright green weeds, waiting for the sea to return. I was completely absorbed, except for one small part of my mind that wondered what Edyth was doing now, and trying to imagine what she would be saying if she were here with me.

Finally, the boys were hungry, and I got up stiffly to follow them back. I tried to keep up better this time through the woods, so naturally I fell a few times. I got some shallow scrapes on my palms, and the knees of my jeans were stained green, but it could have been worse.

When we got back to First Beach, the group we'd left behind had multiplied. As we got closer we could see the shining, straight black hair and copper skin of the newcomers, teenagers from the reservation come to socialize. The food was already being passed around, and the boys hurried to claim a share while Eric introduced us as we each entered the driftwood circle. Allen and I were the last to arrive, and, as Eric said our names, I noticed a younger girl sitting on the stones near the fire glance up at me in interest. I sat down next to Allen, and Makayla brought us sandwiches and an array of sodas to choose from, while a boy who looked to be the oldest of the visitors rattled off the names of the seven others with him. All I caught was that one of the boys was also named Jeremy, and the girl who noticed me was named Julie.

It was relaxing to sit with Allen; he was a restful kind of person to be around—he didn't feel the need to fill every silence with chatter. He left me free to think undisturbed while we ate. And I was thinking about how disjointedly time seemed to flow in Forks, passing in a blur at times, with single images standing out more clearly than others. And then, at other times, every second was significant, etched in my mind. I knew exactly what caused the difference, and it disturbed me.

During lunch the clouds started to advance, slinking across the blue sky, darting in front of the sun momentarily, castling long shadows across the beach, and blackening the waves. As they finished eating, people started to drift away in twos and threes. Some walked down to the edge of the waves, trying to skip rocks across the choppy surface.

Others were gathering a second expedition to the tide pools. Makayla—with Jeremy shadowing her—headed up to the single shop in the nearby village. Some of the local kids went with them; others went along on the hike. By the time they all scattered, I was alone on my driftwood log, with Lauren and Taylor occupying themselves by the CD player someone had thought to bring, while Logan scowled and sulked nearby, and three teenagers from the reservation perched around the circle, including the girl named Julie and the oldest boy who had acted as spokesperson.

A few minutes after Allen left with the hikers, Julie sauntered over to take his place by my side. She looked to be about fifteen, or maybe a young sixteen, and had long, glossy black hair pulled back with a rubber band at the nape of her neck. Her skin was beautiful, silky and russet-colored; her eyes were dark, set deep above the high planes of her cheekbones. She still had just a hint of childish roundness left around her chin. Altogether, a very pretty face. However, I still grimaced at the first words that came out of her mouth.

"You're Isabella Swan, aren't you?"

It was like the first day of school all over again.

"Bella," I sighed, but I smiled.

"Right," She said, like she'd already known that. "I'm Julie Black." She held out her hand. "You bought my dad's truck."

"Oh… Oh!" I felt relieved, shaking her sleek hand. "You're Billy's daughter. I probably should remember you. I'm sorry."

"No, I'm the youngest of the family—you would remember my older sisters."

"Rachel and Rebecca," I suddenly recalled. Charlie and Billy thrown us together a lot during my visits, to keep us busy while they fished. We were all too shy to make much progress as friends. Of course, I'd kicked up enough tantrums to end the fishing trips by the time I was eleven.

"Rachel and Rebecca and… Jules, wasn't it?"

She smiled. "You do remember that. No one's called me that since my sisters left."

"They aren't here?" I examined the girls at the ocean's edge, wondering if I would recognize them now.

"No." Julie shook her head. "Rachel got a scholarship to Washington State, and Rebecca married a Samoan surfer—she lives in Hawaii now."

"Married. Wow." I was stunned. The twins were only a little over a year older than I was.

"So how do you like the truck?" she asked.

"I love it. It runs great."

"Yeah, but it's really slow," she laughed. "I was so relieved when Charlie bought it. My dad wouldn't let me work on building another car when we had a perfectly good vehicle right there."

"It's not that slow," I objected.

"Have you tried to go over sixty?"

"Well, no." I admitted.

"Good. Don't." She grinned again.

I couldn't help grinning back.

"It does great in a collision," I offered in my truck's defense.

"I don't think a tank could take out that old monster," She agreed with another laugh.

"So you build cars?" I asked, impressed.

"When I have free time, and parts. You wouldn't happen where I could get my hands on a master cylinder for a 1986 Volkswagen Rabbit?" she added jokingly. She had a pleasant, husky voice.

"Sorry," I laughed, "I haven't seen any lately, but I'll keep my eyes open for you." As if I knew what that was. She was very easy to talk with.

She flashed a brilliant smile, looking at me appreciatively in a way I was learning to recognize. I wasn't the only one who noticed.

"You know Isabella, Julie?" Logan asked—in what I imagined was an insolent tone—from across the fire.

"Bella and I have sort of known each other since I was born," she laughed, smiling at me again.

"That's really nice.Isn't it, Logan?" Lauren narrowed her pale green eyes at Logan, who huffed.

Julie raised her eyebrows at Logan's reaction. "Yes, isn't it wonderful?"

Her sarcasm seemed to throw Logan off, but he wasn't done with me yet. "Bella, I was just thinking that it was too bad none of the Cullens could come out today. Didn't you think to invite them?" His expression of concern was unconvincing.

"I… I mean…" I looked around to make sure Makayla wasn't nearby, "I did invite Edyth, but she couldn't come." I said quietly.

"I think it's nice that sheinvited Edyth," Lauren offered kindly. "No one really talks to the Cullens."

"You're talking about Dr. Carlisle Cullen's family?" the tall, older boy asked. He was really closer to a man than a boy, his hair was cut short, and his voice was very deep.

"Yes, do you know them?" Lauren smiled faintly, I could tell she found him a bit intimidating. I did too.

"The Cullens don't come here," he said in a tone that closed the subject, ignoring her question.

Taylor, trying to win back Logan's attention, asked his opinion of the CD she held. Logan went back to scowling and huffing.

I stared at the deep-voiced boy, taken aback, but he was looking away toward the dark forest behind us. He'd said that the Cullens didn't come here, but his tone had implied something more—that they weren't allowed; they were prohibited. His manner left a strange impression on me, and I tried to ignore it without success.

Julie interrupted my meditation. "So is Forks driving you insane yet?"

"Oh, I'd say that's an understatement." I chuckled darkly.

She grinned sympathetically.

I was still turning over the brief comment on the Cullens, and piecing it together with what I'd read from Edyth's reactions the other day. I looked at Julie, speculating.

"What?" she asked.

"Do you want to walk down the beach with me?"

She looked at Logan, then back to me and grinned widely, "Yeah, let's get out of here."

As we walked north across the multihued stones toward the driftwood seawall, the clouds finally closed ranks across the sky, causing the sea to darken and the temperature to drop. I shoved my hands deep into the pockets of my jacket. I eyed the sweet-natured girl walking alongside me. Jules just had on a long-sleeved t-shirt, but she swung her arms as she walked, not bothered by the cold. The wind whipped her silky black hair into twists and knots on her back. There was something very warm and open about her face.

"Nice friends," she commented when were far enough from the fire that the clattering of the stones beneath our feet was more than enough to drown out our voice.

"Not mine."

She laughed, "I could tell."

"So you're, what, seventeen?" I asked, trying to make conversation.

"I just turned sixteen." She confessed, flattered.

"You're a year younger than me?"

"I'm tall for my age," she explained.

"I'm surprised we didn't hang out more when we were younger." I offered, she grinned. "Do you come up to Forks much?" I asked.

"Not too much," she admitted with a frown. "But when I get my car finished I can go up as much as I want—I just got my license." She said proudly.

"That's great," I smiled, "hey can I ask you a something?"

"Sure."

"Who was that other boy Lauren and Logan were talking to? He seemed way older than the rest of us.

"Oh, that's Sam—he's nineteen," she informed me.

"What was that he was saying about the doctor's family?" I asked casually.

"The Cullens? Oh, they're not supposed to come onto the reservation." She looked away, out toward James Island, as she confirmed what I'd thought I'd heard in Sam's voice.

"Why not?"

She glanced back at me, biting her lip. "I'm not supposed to say anything about that."

"Is it a secret?"

She pursed her lips. "Sort of."

"I won't tell anyone, I'm just curious." I instinctively moved closer to her without meaning to. Something about her personality was warm and inviting. It was even magnetic, but in a different way from Edyth.

She smiled at me, she seemed pleased that I had moved so close. Then she lifted on eyebrow and leaned in even closer to me, her voice was even huskier than before.

"Do you like scary stories?" she asked ominously.

For one second, I could hear Edyth's voice clearly in my head.Do you think I could be scary?

"How scary are we talking here?"

"You'll never sleep again," she promised.

"Well, now I have to hear it." I realized we were still standing incredibly close, but I didn't really mind. Something about it felt right.

Julie smirked, then strolled to a nearby driftwood tree that had its roots sticking out like the attenuated legs of a huge, pale spider. She perched lightly on one of the twisted roots while I sat beneath her on the body of the tree. She stared down at the rocks, a smile was hovering around the edges of her broad lips. I could see she was going to try to make this good.

"Do you know any of our tribe legends, about where we came from—the Quileutes, I mean?"

"Not really," I admitted.

"Well, the legends talk about Ka'wa'iti who created the first Quileutes by transforming wolves into humans. He taught them how to be human and become a powerful tribe."

"Wolves? That's actually really cool." I smiled. "Not really scary, though." "Yeah," she smiled, "The scary story isn't actually a Quileute legend. It's more of a folk story some of the elders tell. Stories about thecold ones." Her voice dropped a little lower.

"The cold ones?" I asked, deeply intrigued at this point.

"Yes. Some of the stories I hear are old stories, going back to the first Quileutes, and some are much more recent. If you believe the stories, my own great-grandfather knew some of them. He was the one who made the treaty that kept them off our land." She rolled her eyes.

"Your-great-grandfather?"

"He was a tribal elder, like my father. You see, the cold ones are the natural enemies of the wolf—well, not the wolf, really, but the wolves that turn into men, like our ancestors. You would call them werewolves."

"Werewolves have enemies?"

"Only one."

I stared at her intently, I realized I was totally enthralled by her and her story.

"So you see," Julie continued, "the cold ones are traditionally our enemies. But this pack that came to our territory during my great-grandfather's time was different. They didn't hunt the way others of their kind did—they weren't supposed to be dangerous to the tribe. So my great-grandfather made a truce with them. If they would promise to stay off our lands, we wouldn't expose them to the pale-faces." She winked at me.

"If they weren't dangerous, then why…?" I tried to understand, I hoped she couldn't tell how seriously I took her ghost story.

"There's always a risk for humans to be around the cold ones, even if they're civilized like this clan was. You never know when they might get too hungry to resist." She deliberately worked a thick edge of menace into her tone.

"What do you mean, 'civilized'?"

"They claimed that they didn't hunt humans. They supposedly were somehow able to prey on animals instead."

I tried to keep my voice casual. "So how does it fit in with the Cullens? Are they like the cold ones your great-grandfather met?"

"No." She paused dramatically. "They are thesameones."

She must have thought the expression on my face was fear inspired by her story. She smiled, pleased, and continued.

"There are more of them now, a new female and a new male, but the rest are the same. In my great-grandfather's time they already knew of the leader, Carlisle. He'd been here and gone beforeyourpeople had even arrived." She was fighting a smile. "And what are they?" I finally asked. "Whatarethe cold ones?"

She smiled darkly.

"Blood drinkers," she replied in a chilling voice. "Your people call them vampires."

I stared out at the rough surf after she answered, not sure what my face was giving away.

Do you think I could be scary?Edyth's voice repeated in my head.

"You have goose bumps," Julie laughed delightedly.

"You're a good storyteller," I complimented her, still staring into the waves.

"Pretty crazy stuff, though, isn't it? No wonder my dad doesn't want us to talk about it to anyone."

I couldn't control my expression enough to look at her yet. "Don't worry, I won't give you away."

"I guess I just violated the treaty," she laughed.

"I'll take it to the grave," I promised, and then I shivered.

"Seriously, though, don't say anything to Charlie. He was pretty mad at my dad when he heard some of us weren't going to the hospital since Dr. Cullen started working there."

"I won't say anything to Charlie, of course not."

"So do you think we're a bunch of superstitious natives or what?" she asked in a playful tone, but with a hint of worry. I still hadn't looked away from the ocean.

I turned and smiled at her as normally as I could.

"No. I think you're very good at telling scary stories, though. I still have goose bumps, see?" I held up my arm and pulled back my jacket sleeve to show her.

"Cool." She smiled.

I involuntarily shivered, I wasn't sure if it was from the cold or the story, but Julie approached and rubbed my arms to warm me up.

"You ok?" She was still smiling.

"Yeah," I looked up at her warm face and smiled, "Yeah I'm great."

She grinned, that warm grin I already liked so much. Her grin warmed me from the inside out.

And then the sound of the beach rocks clattering against each other warned us that someone was approaching. Our heads snapped up at the same time to see Makayla and Jeremy about fifty yards away, walking toward us.

"There you are, Bella," Makayla called in relief, waving her arm over her head.

"Is that your girlfriend?" Julie asked, alerted by the jealous edge in Makayla's voice. I was surprised she asked so frankly.

"No, definitely not," I whispered. I didn't know if it was because we'd known each other longer, if not well, or if it was because Jules was so easygoing, but I already felt more comfortable with her than I did with any of the kids I'd be riding home with. I winked at her, carefully turning away from Makayla to do so. She smiled, absolutely elated. "So when I get my car finished…" she began.

"You should come see me in Forks. We could hang out sometime." I realized as I said it that I truly meant it. I really did like Julie and I wanted to see more of her. I suddenly felt confused.

Makayla had reached us now, with Jeremy still a few paces back. I could see her eyes appraising Julie, narrowing slightly. She looked like a puppy when it couldn't tell if something was a friend or a foe.

"Where have you been?" she asked, though the answer was right in front of her.

"Julie was just telling me some local stories," I replied. "It was really interesting. I smiled at Julie warmly, and she grinned back, filling me with that warmth that radiated from her aura.

"Well," Makayla paused, carefully reassessing the situation as she watched our camaraderie. "We're packing up—it looks like it's going to rain soon."

We all looked up at the glowering sky. It certainly did look like rain.

"Okay." I stood up slowly, "I'm coming."

"It was nice to see youagain," Julie said, and I could tell she was taunting Makayla just a bit.

"It really was. Next time Charlie comes down to see Billy, I'll come, too," I promised with a smile.

Her grin stretched across her face. "That would be cool."

"And thank you," I added earnestly.

I pulled up my hood as we tramped across the rocks toward the parking lot. A few drops were beginning to fall, making black spots on the stones where they landed. When we got the Suburban the others were already loading everything into the back. I crawled into the backseat by Allen and Taylor, announcing that I'd already had my turn in the shotgun position. Allen just stared out the window at the escalating storm, and Logen was turned around in the middle seat talking animatedly with Taylor, so I could simply lay my head back on the seat and close my eyes and try very hard not to think.


	13. melody Edyth pov

I had to wait to go back to school. The final hour wasn't out yet. That was good, because I had things to think about and I needed the time alone.

Her scent lingered in the car. I kept the windows up, letting it assault me, trying to get used to the feel of intentionally torching my throat.

Attraction.

It was a problematic thing to contemplate. So many sides to it, so many different meanings and levels. Not the same thing as love, but tied up in it inextricably.

I had no idea if Bella was attracted to me. Would her mental silence somehow continue to get more and more frustrating until I went mad? Or was there a limit that I would eventually reach?

I tried to compare her physical responses to others, like the secretary and Jeremy Stanley, but the comparison was inconclusive. The same markers—changes in heart rate and breathing patterns—could just as easily mean fear or shock or anxiety as they did interest. It seemed unlikely that Bella could be entertaining the same kinds of thoughts that others, like Jeremy Stanley, used to have. After all, Bella knew very well that there was something wrong with me, even if she didn't know what exactly it was. She had touched my icy skin, and then yanked her hand away from the chill.

And yet… as I remembered those fantasies that used to repulse me, but remembered them with Bella in place of the others…

I was breathing more quickly, the fire clawing up and down my throat.

What if it had beenBellaimagining me with my arms wrapped around her fragile body? Feeling me pull her tightly against my chest and then cupping my hand under her chin? Running my hand through her thick hair? Tracing the shape of her full lips with my fingertips? Leaning my face closer to hers, where I could feel the heat of her breath on my mouth? Moving closer still…

But then I flinched away from the daydream, knowing, as I had known when others had imagined these things, what would happen if I got that close to Bella.

Attraction was an impossible dilemma, because I was already too attracted to Bella in the worst way.

Did I want Bella to be attracted to me, a woman to a woman?

That was the wrong question. The right question wasshouldI want Bella to be attracted to me that way, and that answer was no. Because I was not a human woman, and that wasn't fair to her.

With every fiber of my being, I ached to be a normal woman, so that I could hold her in my arms without risking her life. So that I could be free to spin my own fantasies, fantasies that didn't end with her blood on my hands, her blood glowing in my eyes.

My pursuit of her was indefensible. What kind of relationship could I offer her, when I couldn't risk touching her?

I hung my head in my hands.

It was all the more confusing because I had never felt so human in my whole life—not even when Iwashuman, as far as I could recall. When I had been human, my thoughts had all been turned to a soldier's glory to pretend to be a man to get in. The Great War had raged through most of my adolescence, and I'd been only a few months away from my eighteenth birthday when the influenza had struck… I had just vague impressions of those human years, murky memories that faded more with every passing decade. I remembered my mother most clearly, and felt an ancient ache when I thought of her face. I recalled dimly how much she had hated the future I'd raced eagerly toward, praying every night when she said grace at dinner that the "horrid war" would end… I had no memories of another kind of yearning. Besides my mother's love, there was no other love that had made me wish to stay…

This was entirely new to me. I had no parallels to draw, no comparisons to make.

The love I felt for Bella had come purely, but now the waters were muddied. I wanted very much to be able to touch her. Did she feel the same way?

That didn't matter, I tried to convince myself

I stared at my white hands, hating their hardness, their coldness, their inhuman strength…

I jumped when the passenger door opened.

Ha. Caught you by surprise. There's a first, Emmett thought as he slid into the seat. "I'll bet Mrs. Goff thinks you're on drugs, you've been so erratic lately. Where were you today?"

"I was… doing good deeds."

Huh?

I chuckled. "Caring for the sick, that kind of thing."

That confused him more, but then he inhaled and caught the scent in the car.

"Oh. The girl again?"

I grimaced.

This is getting weird.

"Tell me about it," I mumbled.

He inhaled again. "Hmm, she does have quite a flavor, doesn't she?"

The snarl broke through my lips before his words had even registered all the way, an automatic response.

"Easy, kid, I'm just sayin'."

The others arrived then. Royal noticed the scent all at once and glowered at me, still not over his irritation. I wondered what his problem was, but all I could hear from him were insults.

I didn't like Jasper's reaction, either. Like Emmett, he noticed Bella's appeal. Not that the scent had, for either of them, a thousandth portion of the draw it had for me. It still upset me that her blood was sweet to them. Jasper had poor control…

Alice skipped to my side of the car and held her hand out for Bella's truck key.

"I only saw that I was,' she said—obscurely, as was her habit. "You'll have to tell me the whys."

"This doesn't mean—"

"I know, I know. I'll wait. It won't be long."

I sighed and gave her the key.

I followed her to Bella's house. The rain was pounding like a million tiny hammers, so loud that maybe Bella's human ears couldn't hear the thunder of the truck's engine. I watched her window, but she didn't come to look out. Maybe she wasn't there. There were no thoughts to hear.

It made me sad that I couldn't hear enough to even check on her—to make sure she was happy, or safe, at the least.

Alice climbed in the back and we sped home. The roads were empty, and so it only took a few minutes. We trooped into the house, and then went to our various pastimes.

Emmett and Jasper were in the middle of an elaborate game of chess, utilizing eight joined boards—spread out along the glass back wall—and their own complicated set of rules. They wouldn't let me play; only Alice would play games with me anymore.

Alice went to her computer just around the corner from them and I could hear her monitors sing to life. Alice was working on a fashion design project for Royal's wardrobe, but Royal did not join her today, to stand behind her and direct cut and color as Alice traced the stylus over the sensitive screens. Instead, today, Royal sprawled sullenly on the sofa and started flipping through twenty channels a second on the flat screen, never pausing. I could hear him trying to decide whether or not to go out to the garage and tune his BMW again.

Esme was upstairs, humming over a new set of blue prints.

Alice leaned her head around the wall after a moment and started mouthing Emmett's next moves—Emmett sat on the floor with his back to her—to Jasper, who kept his expression very smooth as he cut off Emmett's favorite knight.

And I, for the first time in so long that I felt ashamed, went to sit at the exquisite grand piano stationed just off the entryway.

I ran my hand gently up the scales, testing the pitch. The tuning was still perfect.

Upstairs, Esme paused what she was doing and cocked her head to the side.

I began the first line of the tune that had suggested itself to me in the car today, pleased that it sounded even better than I'd imagined.

Edyth is playing again, Esme thought joyously, a smile breaking across her face. She got up from her desk, and flitted silently to the head of the stairs.

I added a harmonizing line, letting the central melody weave through it.

Esme sighed in contentment, sat down on the top step, and leaned her head against the banister.A new song. It's been so long. What a lovely tune.

I let the melody lead in a new direction, following it with a bass line.

Edyth is composing again?Royal thought, and his teeth clenched together in fierce resentment.

In that moment, he slipped, and I could read all his underlying outrage. I saw why he was in such a poor temper with me. Why killing Isabella Swan had not bothered his conscience at all.

With Royal, it was always about vanity.

The music came to an abrupt halt, and I laughed before I could help myself, a sharp bark of amusement that broke off quickly as I threw my hand over my mouth.

Royal turned to glare at me, his eyes sparking with chagrined fury.

Emmett and Jasper turned to stare, too, and I heard Esme's confusion. Esme was downstairs in a flash, pausing to glance between Royal and me.

"Don't stop, Edyth," Esme encouraged after a strained moment.

I started playing again, turning my back on Royal while trying very hard to control the grin stretching across my face. He got to his feet and stalked out of the room, more angry than embarrassed. But certainly quite embarrassed.

If you say anything I will hunt you like a dog.

I smothered another laugh.

"What's wrong, Roy?" Emmett called after him. Royal didn't turn. He continued, back ramrod straight, to the garage and then squirmed under his car as if he could bury himself there.

"What's that about?" Emmett asked me.

"I don't have the faintest idea," I lied.

Emmett grumbled, frustrated.

"Keep playing," Esme urged. My hands had paused again.

I did as she asked, and she came to stand behind me, putting her hands on my shoulders.

The song was compelling, but incomplete. I toyed with a bridge, but it didn't seem right somehow.

"It's charming. Does it have a name?" Esme asked.

"Not yet."

"Is there a story to it?" she asked, a smile in her voice. This gave her very great pleasure, and I felt guilty for having neglected my music for so long. It had been selfish.

"It's… a lullaby, I suppose." I got the bridge right then. It led easily to the next movement, taking on a life of its own.

"A lullaby," she repeated to herself.

Therewasa story to this melody, and once I saw that, the pieces fell into place effortlessly. The story was a sleeping girl in a narrow bed, dark hair thick and wild and twisted around itself against the pillow…

Alice left Jasper to his own devices and came to sit next to me on the bench. In her trilling, wind chime voice, she sketched out a wordless descant an octave above the melody.

"I like it," I murmured. "But how about this?"

I added her line to the harmony—my hands were flying across the keys now to work all the pieces together—modifying it a bit, taking it in a new direction…

She caught the mood, and sung along.

"Yes. Perfect," I said.

Esme squeezed my shoulder.

But I could see the end now, with Alice's voice rising above the tune and taking it to another place. I could see how the song must end, because the sleeping girl was perfect just the way she was, and any change at all would be wrong, a sadness. The song drifted toward that realization, slower and lower now. Alice's voice lowered, too, and became solemn, a tone that belonged under the echoing arches of a candlelit cathedral.

I played the last note, and then bowed my head over the keys.

Esme stroked my hair.It's going to be fine, Edyth. This is going to work out for the best. You deserve happiness, my daughter. Fate owes you that.

"Thanks," I whispered, wishing I could believe it.

Love doesn't always come in convenient packages.

I laughed once without humor.

You, out of everyone on this planet, are perhaps best equipped to deal with such a difficult quandary. You are the best and the brightest of us all.

I sighed. Every mother thought the same of her daughter.

Esme was still full of joy that my heart had finally been touched after all this time, no matter the potential tragedy. She'd worried I would always be alone…

She'll have to love you back,she thought suddenly, catching me by surprise with the direction of her thoughts.If she's a bright young woman.She smiled.But I can't imagine anyone being so slow they wouldn't see the catch you are.

"Stop it, Mom, you're making me blush," I teased. Her words, though improbable, did cheer me.

Alice laughed and picked out the top hand of "Heart and Soul." I grinned and completed the simple harmony with her. Then I favored her with a performance of "Chopsticks."

She giggled, then sighed. "So I wish you'd tell me what you were laughing at Roy about," Alice said. "But I can see that you won't."

"Nope."

She flicked my ear with her finger.

"Be nice, Alice," Esme chided. "Edyth is being a sweetheart."

"But I want toknow."

I laughed at the whining tone she put on. Then I said, "Here, Esme," and began playing her favorite song, an unnamed tribute to the love I'd watched between her and Carlisle for so many years.

"Thank you, dear." She squeezed my shoulder again.

I didn't have to concentrate to play the familiar piece. Instead I thought of Royal, still figuratively writhing in mortification in the garage, and I grinned to myself.

Having just discovered the potency of jealousy for myself, I had a small amount of pity for him. It was a wretched way to feel. Of course, his jealousy was a thousand times more petty than mine. Quite the fox in the manger scenario.

I wondered how Royal's life and personality would have been different if he had not always been the most beautiful. Would he have been a happier person if beauty hadn't at all times been his strongest selling point? Less egocentric? More compassionate? Well, I supposed it was useless to wonder, because the past was done, and he alwayshadbeen the most beautiful. Even when human, he had ever lived in the spotlight of his own attractiveness. Not that he'd minded. The opposite—he'd loved admiration above almost anything else. That hadn't changed with the loss of his mortality.

It was no surprise then, taking this need as a given, that he'd been offended when I had not, from the beginning, worshipped his beauty the way he expected everyone to worship. Not that he'd wantedmein any way—far from it. But it had aggravated him that I did not want him, despite that. He was used to being wanted.

It was different with Jasper and Carlisle—they were already both in love. I was completely unattached, and yet still remained obstinately unmoved.

I'd thought that old resentment was buried. That he was long passed it.

And he had been… until the day that I finally found someone whose beauty touched me the way his had not.

Royal had relied on the belief that if I did not findhisbeauty worth worshipping, then certainly there was no beauty on earth that could reach me. He'd been furious since the moment I'd saved Bella's life, guessing, with his shrewd intuition, the interest that I was all but unconscious of myself.

Royal was mortally offended that I found some insignificant human girl more appealing than him.

I suppressed the urge to laugh again.

It bothered me some, though, the way he saw Bella. Royal actually thought the girl wasplain. How could he believe that? It seemed incomprehensible to me. A product of the jealousy, no doubt.

"Oh!" Alice said abruptly. "Jasper, guess what?"

I saw what she'd just seen, and my hands froze on the keys.

"What, Alice?" Jasper asked.

"Peter and Charlotte are coming to visit next week! They're going to be in the neighborhood, isn't that nice?"

"What's wrong, Edyth?" Esme asked, feeling the tension in my shoulders.

"Peter and Charlotte are coming toForks?" I hissed at Alice.

She rolled her eyes at me. "Calm down, Edyth. It's not their first visit."

My teeth clenched together. Itwastheir first visit since Bella had arrived, and her sweet blood didn't appeal just to me.

Alice frowned at my expression. "They never hunt here. You know that."

But Jasper's brother of sorts and the little vampire he loved were not like us; they hunted the usual way. They could not be trusted around Bella.

"When?" I demanded.

She pursed her lips unhappily, but told me what I needed to know.Monday morning. No one is going to hurt Bella.

"No," I agreed, and then turned away from her. "You ready, Emmett?"

"I thought we were leaving in the morning?"

"We're coming back by midnight Sunday. I guess it's up to you when you want to leave."

"Okay, fine. Let me say goodbye to Roy first."

"Sure." With the mood Royal was in, it would be a short goodbye.

You really have lost it, Edyth, he thought as he headed toward the back door.

"I suppose I have."

"Play the new song for me, one more time," Esme asked.

"If you'd like that," I agreed, though I was a little hesitant to follow the tune to its unavoidable end—the end that had set me aching in unfamiliar ways. I thought for a moment, and then pulled the bottle cap from my pocket and set it on the empty music stand. That helped a bit—my little memento of heryes.

I nodded to myself, and started playing.

Esme and Alice exchanged a glance, but neither one asked.

"Hasn't anyone ever told you not to play with your food?" I called to Emmett.

"Oh, hey Edyth!" he shouted back, grinning and waving at me. The bear took advantage of his distraction to rake its heavy paw across Emmett's chest. The sharp claws shredded through his shirt, and squealed across his skin.

The bear bellowed at the high-pitched noise.

Aw, hell, Roy gave me this shirt!

Emmett roared back at the enraged animal.

I sighed and sat down on a convenient boulder. This might take awhile.

But Emmett was almost done. He let the bear try to take his head off with another swipe of the paw, laughing as the blow bounced off and sent the bear staggering back. The bear roared and Emmett roared again through his laughter. Then he launched himself at the animal, who stood a head taller than him on its hind legs, and their bodies fell to the ground tangled up together, taking a mature spruce tree down with them. The bear's growls cut off with a gurgle.

A few minutes later, Emmett jogged over to where I was waiting for him. His shirt was destroyed, torn and bloodied, sticky with sap and covered in fur. His dark curly hair wasn't in much better shape. He had a huge grin on his face.

"That was a strong one. I could almost feel it when he clawed me."

"You're such a child, Emmett."

He eyed my smooth, clean white button-down. "Weren't you able to track down the mountain lion, then?"

"Of course I was. I just don't eat like a savage."

Emmett laughed his booming laugh. "I wish they were stronger. It would be more fun."

"No one said you had to fight with your food."

"Yeah, but who else am I going to fight with? You and Alice cheat, Esme gets mad if Jasper and Ireallygo at it, and Roy and I never manage to stay focused on fighting." He grinned to himself widely.

I rolled my eyes and ignored his thoughts. "Life is hard all around, isn't it?"

Emmett grinned at me now, shifting his weight a bit so that he was suddenly poised to take a charge.

"C'mon Edyth. Just turn it off for one minute and fight fair."

"It doesn't turn off," I reminded him.

"Wonder what the human kid does to keep you out?" Emmett mused. "Maybe she could give me some pointers."

My good humor vanished. "Stay away from her," I growled through my teeth.

"Touchy, touchy."

I sighed. Emmett came to sit beside me on the rock.

"Sorry. I know you're going through a tough spot. I really am trying to not betoomuch of an insensitive jerk, but, since that's sort of my natural state…"

He waited for me to laugh at his joke, and then made a face.

So serious all the time. What's bugging you now?

"Thinking about her. Well, worrying, really?"

"What's there to worry about?Youarehere." He laughed loudly.

I ignored his joke again, but answered his question. "Have you ever thought about how fragile they all are? How many bad things there are that can happen to a mortal?"

"Not really. I guess I see what you mean, though. I wasn't much match for a bear the first time around, was I?"

"Bears," I muttered, adding a new fear to the pile. "That would be just her luck, wouldn't it? Stray bear in town. Of course it would head straight for Bella."

Emmett chuckled. "You sound like a crazy person, do you know that?"

"Just imagine for one minute that Royal was human, Emmett. And he could run into a bear… or get hit by a car… orlightning… or fall down stairs… or get sick—get adisease!" The words burst from me stormily. It was a relief to let them out—they'd been festering inside me all weekend. "Fires and earthquakes and tornados! Ugh! When's the last time you watched the news? Have youseenthe kinds of things that happen to them? Burglaries and homicides…" My teeth clenched together, and I was abruptly so infuriated by the idea of anotherhumanhurting her that I couldn't breathe.

"Whoa, whoa! Hold up, there, kid. She lives in Forks, remember? So she gets rained on." He shrugged.

"I think she has some substantial bad luck, Emmett, I really do. Look at the evidence. Of all the places in the world she could go, she ends up in a town wherevampiresmake up a significant portion of the population."

"Yeah, but we're vegetarians. So isn't that good luck, not bad?"

"With the way she smells? Definitely bad. And then, more bad luck, the way she smells tome." I glowered at my hands, hating them again.

"Except that you have more self-control than just about anyone but Carlisle. Good luck again."

"The van?"

"That was just an accident."

"You should have seen it coming for her, Em, again and again. I swear, it was like she had some kind of magnetic pull."

"But you were there. That was good luck."

"Was it? Isn't it the worst luck any human could ever possibly have—to have avampirefall inlovewith them?"

Emmett considered that quietly for a moment. He pictured the girl in his head, and found the image largely uninteresting.Honestly, I can't really see the draw.

"Well, I can't really see Royal's allure, either," I said rudely. "Honestly, he seems like more work than any pretty face is worth."

Emmett chuckled. "I don't suppose you'd tell me…"

"I don't know what his problem is, Emmett," I lied with a sudden, wide grin.

I saw his intent in time to brace myself. He tried to shove me off the rock, and there was a loud cracking sound as a fissure opened in the stone between us.

"Cheater," he muttered.

I waited for him to try another time, but his thoughts took a different direction. He was picturing Bella's face again, but imagining it whiter, imagining her eyes bright red…

"No," I said, my voice strangled.

"It solves your worries about mortality, doesn't it? And then you wouldn't want to kill her, either. Isn't that the best way?"

"For me? Or for her?"

"For you," he answered easily. His tone added theof course.

I laughed humorlessly. "Wrong answer."

"I didn't mind so much," he reminded me.

"Royal did."

He sighed. We both knew that Royal would do anything, give up anything, if it meant he could be human again.

"Yeah, Roy did," he acquiesced quietly.

"I can't… I shouldn't… I'mnotgoing to ruin Bella's life. Wouldn't you feel the same if it were Royal?"

Emmett thought about that for a moment. "You really… love her?"

"I can't even describe it, Emmett. All of a sudden, she's the whole world to me. I don't see thepoint of the rest of the world without her anymore."

But you won't change her? She won't last forever, Edyth.

"I know that," I groaned.

And, as you've pointed out, she's sort of breakable.

"Trust me—that I know, too."

Emmett was not a tactful person, and delicate discussions were not his forte. He struggled now, wanting very much not to be offensive. He spoke aloud, rather than risk thinking the wrong words.

"Can you even touch her? I mean, if youlove her… wouldn't you want to, well,touchher…?"

Emmett and Royal shared an intensely physical love. While he understood that onecouldlove without that aspect, he was acutely aware of how it certainlyaddedto a relationship.

I sighed. "I can't even think of that, Emmett."

"I know it can't be easy, but Taras and Ivan do it all the time." He shrugged.

Taras and Ivan greatly enjoyed their physical dalliances with humans. I knew it was possible—they could recall a mountain of memories as proof—but how could I share any sort of intimacy with Bella, any closeness with her, when she was already so fragile? And when her scent was so intoxicating to me? So tempting?

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. "I don't think it would be possible, Emmett, I really don't."

Wow. So what are your options, then?

"I don't know," I whispered. "I'm trying to figure out a way to… to leave her. I just can't fathom how to make myself stay away…"

With a deep sense of gratification, I suddenly realized that it wasrightfor me to stay—at least for now, with Peter and Charlotte on their way. Bella was safer with me here, temporarily, than she would be if I were gone. For the moment, I could be her unlikely protector.

The thought made me anxious; I itched to be back so that I could fill that role for as long as possible.

Emmett noticed the change in my expression.What are you thinking about?

"Right now," I admitted a bit sheepishly, "I'm dying to run back to Forks and check on her. I don't know if I'll make it till Sunday night."

"Oh, hell no! You arenotgoing home early. Let Royal cool down a little bit. Please! For my sake."

"I'll try to stay," I said doubtfully.

Emmett tapped the phone in my pocket. "Alice would call if there were any basis for your panic attack. She's as weird about this kid as you are."

I grimaced at that. "Fine. But I'm not staying past Sunday."

"There's no point in hurrying back—it's going to be sunny, anyway. Alice said we were free from school until Wednesday."

I shook my head rigidly.

"Peter and Charlotte know how to behave themselves."

"I really don't care, Emmett. With Bella's luck, she'll go wondering off into the woods at exactly the wrong moment and—" I flinched. "Peter isn't known for his self-control. I'm going back Sunday."

Emmett sighed.Exactly like a crazy person.

Bella was sleeping peacefully when I climbed up to her bedroom window early Monday morning. I'd remembered oil this time, and the window now moved silently out of my way.

I could tell by the way her hair was still relatively untangled that she'd had a less restless night than the last time I was here. She lay peacefully on her back, her arms stretched out above her head, and her mouth was slightly open. I could hear her breath moving slowly in and out between her lips.

It was an amazing relief to be here, to be able to see her again. I realized that I wasn't truly at ease unless that was the case. Nothing was right when I was away from her.

Not that all was right when I was with her, either, though. I sighed, letting the thirst fire rake through my throat. I'd been away from it too long. The time spent without pain and temptation made it all the more forceful now. It was bad enough that I was afraid to go kneel beside her bed so that I could read the titles of her book. I wanted to know the stories in her head, but I was afraid of more than my thirst, afraid that if I let myself get that close to her, I would want to be closer still…

Her lips looked very soft and warm. I could imagine touching them with the tip of my finger. Just lightly…

That was exactly the kind of mistake that I had to avoid.

My eyes ran over her face again and again, examining it for changes. Mortals changed all the time—I was sad at the thought of missing anything…

I thought she looked… tired. Like she hadn't gotten much sleep this weekend. Had she gone out?

I laughed silently and wryly at how much that upset me. So what if she had? I didn't own her. She wasn't mine.

No, she wasn't mine—and I was sad again.

One of her hands twitched, and I noticed that there were shallow, barely healed scrapes across the heel of her palm. She'd been hurt? Even though it was obviously not a serious injury, it still disturbed me. I considered the location, and decided she must have tripped. That seemed a reasonable explanation, all things considered.

It was comforting to think that I wouldn't have to puzzle over either of these small mysteries forever. We werefriendsnow—or, at least, trying to be friends. I could ask her about her weekend—about the beach, and whatever late night activity had made her look so weary. I could ask what had happened to her hands. And I could laugh a little when she confirmed my theory about them.

I smiled gently as I wondered whether or not shehadfallen into the ocean. I wondered if she'd had a pleasant time on the outing. I wondered if she'd thought about me at all. If she'd missed me even the tiniest portion of the amount that I'd missed her.

I tried to picture her in the sun on the beach. The picture was incomplete, though, because I'd never been to First Beach myself. I only knew how it looked in pictures…

I felt a tiny qualm of unease as I thought about the reason why I'd never once been to the pretty beach located just a few minutes run from my home. Bella had spent the day at La Push—a place where I was forbidden, by treaty, to go. A place where a few old men still remembered the stories about the Cullens, remembered and believed them. A place where our secret was known…

I shook my head. I had nothing to worry about there. The Quileutes were bound by treaty, too. Even if Bella had run into one of those aging sages, they could reveal nothing. And why would the subject ever be broached? Why would Bella think to voice her curiosity there? No—the Quileutes were perhaps theonething I did not have to worry about.

I was angry with the sun when it began to rise. It reminded me that I could not satisfy my curiosity for days to come. Why did it choose to shine now?

With a sigh, I ducked out her window before it was light enough for anyone to see me here. I meant to stay in the thick forest by her house to see her off to school, but when I got into the trees, I was surprised to find the trace of her scent lingering on the trail there.

I followed it quickly, curiously, becoming more and more worried as it led deeper into the darkness. What had Bella been doing outhere?

The trail stopped abruptly, in the middle of nowhere in particular. She'd gone just a few steps off the trail, into the ferns, where she'd touched the trunk of a fallen tree. Perhaps sat there…

I sat where she had, and looked around. All she would have been able to see was ferns and forests. It had probably been raining—the scent was washed out, having never set deeply into the tree.

Why would Bella have come to sit here alone—and she had been alone, no doubt about that—in the middle of the wet, murky forest?

It made no sense, and, unlike those other points of curiosity, I could hardly bring this up in casual conversation.

So, Bella, I was following your scent through the woods after I left your room where I'd been watching you sleep… Yes, that would be quite the ice breaker.

I would never know what she'd been thinking and doing here, and that had my teeth grinding together in frustration. Worse, this was far too much like the scenario I'd imagined for Emmett—Bella wandering alone in the woods, where her scent would call to anyone who had the senses to track it…

I groaned. Not only did she have bad luck, but she courted it.

Well, for this moment, she had a protector. I would watch over her, keep her from harm, for as long as I could justify it.

I suddenly found myself wishing that Peter and Charlotte would make an extended stay.


	14. nightmare Bella pov

I told Charlie I had a lot of Homework to do, and that I'd filled up at La Push and didn't want dinner. There was a basketball game on that he was excited about, so he wasn't aware of anything off about my expression.

Once in my room, I locked the door. I dug through my desk until I found my old headphones, and I plugged them into my little CD player. I picked up a CD that Phil had given me for Christmas. It was one of his favorite bands, but they were a little heavy for my taste. I stuck it into place and lay down on my bed. I put on the headphones, hit Play, and turned up the volume until it hurt my ears. I closed my eyes, and then added a pillow over the top of my face.

I concentrated only on the music, trying to make out the lyrics, to unravel the complicated drum patters. By the third time I'd listened through the CD, I knew all the words to the choruses, at least. I actually kind of liked the band after all, once I got past the initial noise. I'd have to thank Phil again.

And it worked. The eardrum-shattering beats made it impossible for me to think—which was the whole point. I listened to the CD again and again, until I was singing along with the songs, until, finally, I fell asleep.

I opened my eyes to a familiar place. Though part of my mind seemed to know I was dreaming, most of me was just present in the green light of the forest. I could hear the waves crashing against the rocks somewhere nearby, and I knew that if I found the ocean, I'd be able to see the sun. I was trying to follow the sound, but then Julie Black was there, tugging on my and, pulling me back toward the blackest part of the forest. "Julie? What's wrong?" I asked. Her face was frightened as she yanked with all her strength against my resistance; I didn't want to go into the dark.

"Run, Bella, you have to run!" she whispered, terrified.

"This way, Bella!" I recognized Makayla's voice calling out of the gloomy heart of the trees, but I couldn't see her.

"Please, Bella, please!" Jeremy's voice echoed from somewhere near Makayla's. "Why?" I asked, still pulling against Julie's grasp, desperate now to find the sun as more voices of my friends, and even Charlie and my mom began to echo from the shadows.

But suddenly, Julie let go of my hand and yelped, suddenly shaking, falling to the dim forest floor. She twitched on the ground as I watched in horror. The voices grew louder.

"Julie!" I screamed. But she was gone. In her place was a large red-brown wolf with black eyes. The wolf faced away from me, pointing toward the shore, the hair on the back of her shoulders bristling, low growls issuing from between her exposed fangs. "Bella, run!" several of the voices cried out from behind me. They kept saying it over and over, growing louder and louder till it was deafening. But I didn't turn. I was watching a light coming toward me from the beach.

Suddenly the voices all stopped.

Edyth stepped out from the trees, her skin faintly glowing, her eyes black and dangerous. She helped up one hand and beckoned me to come with her. The wolf growled at my feet.

I took a hesitant step forward, toward Edyth. She smiled then, and her teeth were sharp, pointed.

"Trust me," she purred.

I took another hesitant step.

The wolf launched herself across the space between me and the vampire, fangs aimed at the jugular.

"No!" I screamed wrenching upright out of my bed.

My sudden movement caused the headphones to pull the CD player off the bedside table, and it clattered to the wooden floor.

My light was still on, and I was sitting fully dressed on the bed, with my shoes on. I glanced, disoriented, at the clock on my dresser. It was five-thirty in the morning. I groaned, fell back, and rolled over onto my face, kicking off my boots. I was too uncomfortable to get anywhere near sleep, though. I rolled back over and unbuttoned my jeans, yanking them off awkwardly as I tried to say horizontal. I pulled off my shirt that still smelled of sea-salt and the driftwood fire and tossed it towards the closet. I pulled the pillow back over my eyes.

It was all no use, of course. My subconscious had dredged up exactly the images I'd been trying so desperately avoid. I was going to have to face them now.

I sat up, and my head spun for a minute.First things first, I thought to myself, happy to put it off as long as possible. I headed toward the bathroom.

The shower didn't last nearly as long as I hoped it would. I wrapped a towel around my waist and crossed back to my room. I couldn't tell if Charlie was still asleep, or if he had already left. I went to look out my window, and the cruiser was gone. Fishing again, probably.

I dressed slowly in my most comfy sweats and then made my bed—something I never usually did. I couldn't put it off any longer. I went to my desk and switched on the old computer.

I hated using the Internet here. My modem was sadly outdated, my free service substandard; just dialing up took so long that I decided to go get myself a bowl of cereal while I waited.

I ate slowly, chewing each bite with care. When I was done, I washed the bowl and spoon, dried them, and put them away. My feet dragged as I climbed the stairs. I went to my CD player first, picking it up off the floor and placing it carefully in the center of the table. I pulled out the headphones, and put them away in the desk drawer. Then I turned the same CD on, turning it down to the level of background noise.

With another sigh, I turned to my computer, which was finally ready. I opened my favorite search engine and then typed in one word.

Vampire.

It took an infuriatingly long time, of course. When the results came up, there was a lot to sift through—everything from movies and TV shows to role-playing games, underground metal, and gothic cosmetic companies.

Then I found a promising site—Vampires A-Z. I waited impatiently for it to load, quickly clicking closed each ad that flashed across the screen. Finally the screen was finished—simple white background with black text, academic-looking. Two quotes greeted me on the homepage:

Throughout the vast shadowy world of ghosts and demons there is no figure so terrible, no figure so dreaded and abhorred, yet dight with such fearful fascination, as the vampire, who is neither ghost nor demon, but yet who partakes the dark natures and possesses the mysterious and terrible qualities of both.—Rev. Montague Summers

If there is in this world a well-attested account, it is that of the vampires. Nothing is lacking: official reports, affidavits of well-known people, of surgeons, of priests, of magistrates; the judicial proof is most complete. And with all that, who is there who believes in vampires?—Rousseau

The rest of the site was an alphabetized listing of all the different myths of vampires held throughout the world. The first I clicked on, theDanag, was a Filipino vampire supposedly responsible for planting taro on the islands long ago. The myth continued that theDanagworked with humans for many years, but the partnership ended one day when a woman cut her finger and aDanagsucked her wound, enjoying the taste so much that it drained her body completely of blood.

I read carefully through the descriptions, looking for anything that sounded familiar, let alone plausible. It seemed that most vampire myths centered around beautiful women as demons and children as victims; they also seemed like constructs to explain away the high mortality rates for young children, and to give men an excuse for infidelity. Many of the stories involved bodiless spirits and warnings against improper burials. There wasn't much that sounded like the movies I'd seen, and only a very few, like the HebrewEstrieand the PolishUpier, who were even preoccupied with drinking blood.

Only three entries really caught my attention: The RomanianVaracolaci, a powerful undead being who could appear as a beautiful pale-skinned human, The SlovakNelapsi, a creature so strong and fast it could massacre an entire village in the single hour after midnight, and one other, theStregoni benefici.

About this last there was only one brief sentence.

Stregoni benefici: An Italian vampire, said to be on the side of goodness, and a mortal enemy of all evil vampires.

It was a relief, that one small entry, the one myth among hundreds that claimed the existence of good vampires.

Overall though, there was little that coincided with Julie's stories or my own observation. I'd made a little catalogue in my mind as I'd read and carefully compared it with each myth. Speed, strength, beauty, pale skin, eyes that shift color; and then Julie's criteria: blood drinkers, enemies of the werewolf, cold-skinned, and immortal. There were very few myths that matched even one factor.

And then another problem, one that I'd remembered from the scary movies that I'd seen and was backed up by today's reading—vampires couldn't come out in the daytime, the sun would burn them to a cinder. They slept in coffins all day and came out only at night.

Aggravated, I snapped off the computer's main power switch, not waiting for things to shut down properly. Through my frustrated, I felt overwhelming embarrassment. It was all so ridiculous. I was sitting in my room, researching vampires. What was wrong with me? I decided that most of the blame belonged to the town of Forks for making me go crazy like this.

I had to get out of the house, but there was nowhere I wanted to go that didn't involve a three day-drive. I changed into a pair of jeans and pulled on my boots anyway, unclear where I was headed, and went downstairs. I shrugged into my raincoat without checking the weather and headed out the door.

It was overcast, but not raining yet. I ignored my truck and started east on foot, angling across the yard toward the ever-encroaching forest. It didn't take long till I was deep enough for the house and the road to be invisible, for the only sound to be the squish of the damp earth under my feet and the sudden cries of the jays.

There was a thin ribbon of a trail that led through the forest here, or I wouldn't risk wandering on my own like this. My sense of direction was hopeless; I could get lost in much less helpful surroundings. The trail wound deeper and deeper into the forest, mostly east as far as I could tell. It snaked around the Sitka spruces and the hemlocks, the yews and the maples. I only had a vague idea of the names of the trees around me thanks to Charlie pointing them out to me from the cruiser in the earlier days. There were many I didn't know, and I others I couldn't be sure about due to the thick blankets of green moss.

I followed the trail as long as my frustration at myself pushed me forward. As that started to ebb, I slowed. A few drops of moisture trickled down from the canopy above me, but I couldn't be certain if it was beginning to rain or if it was simply pools left over from yesterday, held high in the leaves above me, slowly dripping their way back to the earth. A recently fallen tree—I knew it was recent because it wasn't entirely carpeted in moss—rested against the trunk of one of her sisters, creating a sheltered little bench just a few safe feet off the trail. I stepped over the ferns and sat carefully, making sure my jacket was between the damp seat and my clothes wherever they touched, and leaned my hooded head back against the living tree.

This was the wrong place to come. I should have known, but where else was there to go? The forest was deep green and far too much like the scene in last night's dream to allow for any peace of mind. No that there was no longer the sound of my soggy footsteps, the silence was piercing. The birds were quiet, too, the drops increasing in frequency so it must be raining above. The ferns stood higher than my head, now that I was seated, and I knew someone could walk by on the patch, three feet away, and not see me.

Here in the trees it was much easier to believe the absurdities that embarrassed me indoors. Nothing had changed in this forest for thousands of years, and all the myths and legends of a hundred different lands seemed much more likely in this green haze than they had in my clear-cut bedroom. I unwillingly forced myself to focus on the two most vital questions I had to answer.

First, I had to decide if it was possible that what Julie had said about the Cullens could be true.

Immediately my mind responded with a resounding negative. It was silly and morbid to entertain such ridiculous notions. But what, then? I asked myself. There was no rational explanation for how I was alive right now. I listed again in my head the things I'd observed myself: the impossible speed and strength, the eye color shifting from black to gold and back again, the inhuman beauty, the pale, icy skin. And more—small things that registered slowly—how they never seemed to eat, the disturbing grace with which they moved. And the wayshesometimes spoke, with unfamiliar cadences an phrases that better fit the style of a turn-of-the-century novel than that of a twenty-first century classroom. She had skipped class the day we'd done blood typing. She hadn't said no to the beach trip till she heard where we were going. She seemed to know what everyone around her was thinking… except me. She had told me she was the villain, dangerous….

Do you think I could be scary?

Could the Cullens be vampires?

Well, they weresomething. Something outside the possibility of rational justification was taking place in front of my eyes. Whether it be Juliescold onesor my own superhero theory, Edyth Cullen was not…human. She was something more. So then—maybe. That would have to be my answer for now. And then the most important question of all. What was I going to do if it was true?

IfEdyth was a vampire—I could hardly make myself think the words—then what should I do? Involving someone else was definitely out. I couldn't even believe myself; anyone I told would have me committed.

Only two options seemed practical. The first was to take her advice: to be smart, to avoid her as much as possible. To cancel our plans, to go back to ignoring her as far as I was able. To pretend there was an impenetrably thick glass wall between us in the one class where we were forced together. To tell her to leave me alone—and mean it this time. I felt a sudden twinge of sadness as I considered that option. An immediate sense of loss for something that, if I was being truthful, I didn't really even have. My mind rejected that, quickly skipping on to the next option.

I could do nothing different. After all, if she was something… sinister, she'd done nothing to hurt me so far. In fact, I would be a dent in Taylor's fender if she hadn't acted so quickly. So quickly, I argued with myself, that it might have been sheer reflexes. But if it was a reflex to save lives, how bad could she be? I retorted. Then again, Edyth had skipped class when there was blood typing. If she was a blood drinker like Julie had said then maybe she saved me to keep my blood from spilling out in the parking lot, but then why did she talk to me? Sit with me at lunch? My head spun around in answerless circles.

My mind flitted back to my dream last night. The dark Edyth in my dream last night was a reflection only of my fear of the word Julie had spoken, and not Edyth herself. Even so, when I'd screamed out in terror at the werewolf's lunge, it wasn't fear for Edyth that brought the cry of "no" to my lips. It was the fear for the wolf. For Julie. As Edyth stood there, beckoning me forward with her fangs bared I feared for Julie. I feared for the voices in the woods.

Do you think I could be scary?

I knew Edyth was dangerous. On some level, I knew it. It was the thought I had put out of my head, the reality I didn't want to face but I couldn't ignore it. But I also couldn't ignore that despite the desperate pleas of the voices of those I loved, despite my fear for the sweet, warm girl from the beach, I still had wanted to go with Edyth. And I knew in that I had my answer. I didn't know if there ever was a choice, really. I was already in too deep. Now that I knew—ifI knew—I could do nothing about my frightening secret. Because when I thought of her, of her voice, her hypnotic eyes, the electric force of her personality, I wanted nothing more than to be with her right now. Even if…but I couldn't think it. Not here, alone in the darkening forest. Not while the rain made it dim as twilight under the canopy and pattered like footsteps across the matted earthen floor. I shivered and rose quickly from my place of concealment, worried that somehow the path would have disappeared with the rain.

But it was there, safe and clear, winding its way out of the dripping green maze. I followed it hastily, my hood pulled close around my face, becoming surprised, as I nearly ran through the trees, at how far I had come. I started to wonder if I was heading out at all, or following the path farther into the confines of the forest. Before I could get too panicky, though, I began to glimpse some open spaces through the webbed branches. And then I could hear a car passing on the street, and I was free. Charlie's lawn stretched out in front of me, the house beckoning me, promising me warmth and dry clothes.

It was noon when I got back inside. I went upstairs and got dressed for the day, dry jeans and a comfy t-shirt, since I was staying indoors. It didn't take too much to concentrate on my task for the day, a paper onMacbeththat was due Wednesday. I settled into outlining a rough draft contentedly, more serene than I'd felt since…well, since Thursday afternoon, if I was being honest.

That had always been my way, though. Making decisions was the painful part for me, the part I agonized over. But once the decision was made, I simply followed through—usually with relief that the choice was made. Sometimes the relief was tainted by despair, like decision to come to Forks. But it was still better than wrestling with the alternatives. This decision was ridiculously easy to live with. Dangerously easy. For the briefest moment, I considered that. Why was it so easy? Why couldn't I make the decision that I innately knew was probably better for me? The decision to choose to stay away from Edyth and choose someone else. Someone like Makayla, sweet, confused Makayla. Or someone like Julie; warm and kind. I sighed, changing my mind seemed like a choice I no longer had. I put it all out of my mind and focused on other things.

And so the day was quiet, productive—I finished my paper before eight. Charlie came home with a large catch, and I made a mental note to pick up a book of recipes for fish while I was in Seattle next week. The chills that flashed up my spine whenever I thought of that trip were no different than the ones I'd felt before I'd taken my walk with Julie. They should be different, I thought. I should be afraid. I knew I should be, but I couldn't feel the right kind of fear.

I slept dreamlessly that night exhausted from beginning my day so early, and sleeping so poorly the night before. I woke, for the second time since arriving in Forks, to the bright yellow light of a sunny day. I skipped to the window, stunned to see that there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and those there were just fleecy little white puffs that couldn't possibly be carrying any rain. I opened the window—surprised when it opened silently, without sticking, not having opened it in who knows how many years—and sucked in the relatively dry air. It was nearly warm and hardly winter at all. My blood was electric in my veins.

Charlie was finishing breakfast when I came downstairs, and he picked up on my mood immediately.

"Nice day out," he commented.

"Yeah," I agreed with a grin.

He smiled back, his brown eyes crinkling around the edges. When Charlie smiled, it was easier to see why he and my mother had jumped too quickly into an early marriage. Most of the young romantic he'd been in those days faded before I'd known him, as the curly brown hair—the same color, if not the same texture, as mine—had slowly grayed around his temples. But when he smiled I could see a little of the man who had run away with Renée when she was just two years older than I was now.

I ate breakfast cheerily, watching the dust motes stirring in the sunlight that streamed in the back window. Charlie called out a goodbye, and I heard the cruiser pull away from the house. I hesitated on my way out the door, hand on my rain jacket. It would be tempting fate to leave it home. With a sigh, I folded it over my arm and stepped out into the brightest light I'd seen in months.

By dint of much elbow grease, I was able to get both windows in the truck almost completely rolled down. I was one of the first ones to school; I hadn't even checked the clock in my hurry to get outside. I parked and headed toward the seldom-used picnic benches on the south side of the cafeteria. The benches were still a little damp, so I sat on my jacket, glad to have a use for it. My homework was done—the product of my slow social life—but there were a few Trig problems I wasn't sure I had right. I took out my book industriously, but halfway through rechecking the first problem I was daydreaming, watching the sunlight play on the red-barked trees. I sketched inattentively along the margins of my homework. After a few minutes, I suddenly realized I'd drawn five pairs of dark eyes staring out of the page at me. I scrubbed them out with the eraser.

"Bella!" I heard someone call, and it sounded like Makayla. I looked around to realize that the school had become populated while I'd been sitting there, absentminded. Everyone was in t-shirts, some even in shorts thought the temperature couldn't be over sixty. Makayla was coming toward me in khaki shorts and a striped Rugby shirt, waving. "Hey, Makayla," I called, waving back, cheerfully.

She came to sit by me, her perfectly flat-ironed hair shining golden in the light, her grin stretching across her face. She was so delighted to see me, I couldn't help but feel gratified.

"I never noticed before—your hair has red in it," She commented, catching one of the short strands between two fingers.

"Only in the sun."

I became just a little uncomfortable when she ran her hands through my hair to smooth it back into place.

"Great day isn't it?"

"My kind of day," I agreed.

"What did you do yesterday?" Her tone was just a bit too proprietary.

"I mostly worked on my essay." I didn't add that I was finished with it—no need to sound smug.

She hit her forehead on the heel of her hand. "Oh yeah—that's due Thursday, right?"

"Um, Wednesday, I think."

"Wednesday?" She frowned. "That's not good… What are you writing yours on?" "Whether Shakespeare's treatment of the female characters is misogynistic." She stared at me like I'd just spoken pig Latin.

"I guess I'll just have to work on that tonight," she said, deflated. "I was going to ask if you wanted to go out."

"Oh." I was taken off guard. Why couldn't I ever have a pleasant conversation with Makayla anymore without it getting awkward?

"Well, we could go get some dinner or something…and I could work on it later." She smiled at me hopefully.

"Makayla…" I hated being put on the spot, and I felt a conversation approaching that I had been carefully avoiding for a long time. "I don't… Maybe that's not the best idea." Her face fell. "Why?" she asked, her eyes guarded. My thoughts flickered to Edyth, wondering if that's where her thoughts were as well.

"I think…Well, here's the thing…" I felt like she didn't understand me, I didn't quite understand myself. I sighed. "Makayla, do you like Jeremy?"

She was bewildered, obviously not thinking inthat direction at all. "Jeremy?" "Yes, Jeremy." I repeated, "Do you like him?"

"Well…" She thought about it long and hard, "Yeah. I guess I do." She said it almost guiltily but I sensed she genuinely meant it.

"Makayla," I said softly before she worked herself up too much, "Jeremy really likes you." I said slowly and emphatically, "And he's one of my best friends and I don't want to hurt his feelings."

Her face started to turn red, "But—"

"And I think, Makayla," I interrupted her, "that when you're asking to hang out with me it's in a more-than-friends way."

She was bright red now, but she remained silent.

"So," I continued, "I think it'd be best if we didn't get dinner. Ok?"

"Oh," she exhaled—clearly blindsided by the conversation. I decided it was a good time for me to leave.

"It's time for class, and I can't be late again." I gathered my books up and stuffed them in my bag. She didn't move

"Hey…" I gently patted her shoulder, "You coming?"

She looked up at me; her face wasn't as red now. She slowly stood and we walked in silence to building three. Her expression was distracted. I hoped whatever thoughts she was immersed in were leading her in the right direction. I also hoped I hadn't hurt her feelings or discouraged her from being honest with herself. Maybe in California she would have had a better chance and been more encouraged to explore her feelings, but in a small town like Forks I worried she'd never really come to terms with it all.

Before we parted, she stopped and turned to me.

"Thanks, Bella." She was sort of smiling, so that was encouraging at least.

When I saw Jeremy in Trig, he was bubbling with enthusiasm. He, Allen, and Lauren were going to Port Angeles that night to go clothes shopping for the dance, and he wanted me to come, too. I was indecisive. It would be nice to get out of town with some friends, but I wasn't that well-versed in fashion—contrary to Jeremy's apparent belief. It was sweet, though, that he wanted me to come. My head was still hazy, but the sunlight had put me in a pleasant mood, so I gave him a maybe, telling him I'd have to check with Charlie first.

He talked of nothing but the dance on the way to Spanish continuing as if without interruption when class finally ended, five minutes late, and we were on our way to lunch. I was far too lost in my own frenzy of anticipation to notice much of what he said. I was painfully eager to see not just her but all the Cullens—to compare them with the new suspicions that plagued my mind. As I crossed the threshold of the cafeteria, I felt a tingle of fear slither down my spine and settle in my stomach. Would they be able to know what I was thinking? And then a different feeling jolted through me—would Edyth be waiting to sit with me again?

As was my routine, I glanced fist toward the Cullens' table. A shiver of panic trembled in my stomach as I realized it was empty. With dwindling hope, my eyes scoured the rest of the cafeteria, hoping to find her alone, waiting for me. The place was nearly filled—Spanish had made us late—but there was no sign of Edyth of any of her family. I felt despondent.

I shuffled along behind Jeremy, not able to listen anymore.

We were late enough that everyone was already at our table. I avoided the empty chair next to Makayla in favor of one by Allen. I noticed Makayla held the chair out politely for Jeremy, and that his face lit up in response. She shot a look toward me and smiled. Looks like things worked out with Makayla after all; I felt relieved.

Allen asked a few quiet questions about theMacbethpaper, which I answered as naturally as I could while still grappling with the encroaching sadness. He, too, invited me to go with them tonight, and I agreed now, trying to distract myself.

I'd been holding on to a last shred of hope when I entered Biology, but when I saw her empty seat I felt a new wave of disappointment. I knew I shouldn't let her absence bother me so much, and a new wave of emotion hit me as I wrestled with that new thought.

The rest of the day passed slowly, dismally. In Gym, we had a lecture on the rules of badminton, the next torture they had lined up for me. But at least it meant I got to sit and listen instead of stumbling around on the court. The best part was the coach didn't finish, so I got another day off tomorrow. Never mind that the day after they would arm me with a racket before unleashing me on the rest of the class.

I was glad to leave campus, so I would be free to mope a little bit before I went out tonight with Jeremy and company. But right after I walked in the door of Charlie's house, Jeremy called to cancel our plans. I was genuinely happy that Makayla had asked him out to dinner—I was relieved that she finally seemed to be catching on—but I was somewhat disappointed that I wouldn't have the company to distract me. He rescheduled our shopping trip for tomorrow night.

Which left me with little else in the way of distractions. I had fish marinating for dinner, with a salad and bread left over from the night before, so there was nothing to do there. I spent a focused half our on homework, but then I was through with that, too. I checked my e-mail, reading the backlog of letters from my mother, getting more and more panicked as they progressed to the present. I sighed and typed up a response.

Mom, I'm sorry. I've been out a lot the past few days. I went to the beach with some friends, and I had to write a paper.

I sighed, and struggled with something else to say. It wasn't fair to punish my mom with a short, rude email just because I was upset.

It's sunny outside today—I know, I'm shocked too—so I'm going to go outside and soak up as much vitamin D as I can. Maybe today's the day I finally get a tan. I miss you a lot, tell Phil I said hi.

I love you,

Bella

I decided to kill an hour with non-school-related reading. I had a small collection of books that went with me to Forks, the shabbiest volume being a compilation of the works of Jane Austen. I selected that one and headed to the backyard, grabbing a ragged old quilt from the linen cupboard at the top of the stairs on my way down.

Outside in the small, square yard, I folded the quilt in half and laid it out of the reach of the trees' shadows on the thick lawn that would always be slightly wet, no matter how long the sun shone. I lay on my stomach, crossing my ankles in the air, flipping through the different novels in the book, trying to decide which would occupy my mind the most thoroughly. My favorites werePride and PrejudiceandSense and Sensibility. I'd read the first most recently, so I startedSense and Sensibility,only to remember after I began chapter three that the hero of the story happened to be namedEdward and that made me think of Edyth. Frustrated, I turned toMansfield Park, but the hero of that piece was namedEdmund, and that was just too close. Weren't there any other names available in the late eighteenth century? I closed the book and rolled over onto my back with a sigh. I pushed my sleeves up as high as they would go, and closed my eyes. I thought of nothing but the warmth on my skin and the light, pleasant breeze. I focused on the heat that touched my eyelids, my cheekbones, my nose, my lips, my forearms, my neck, soaked through my light shirt….

The next thing I was conscious of was the sound of Charlie's cruiser turning onto the bricks of the driveway. I sat up in surprise, realizing the light was gone, behind the trees, and I had fallen asleep. I looked around, muddled, with the sudden feeling that I wasn't alone.

"Charlie?" I asked. But I could hear his door slamming in front of the house.I jumped up, feeling edgy, gathering the now-damp quilt and my book. I ran inside to get some oil heating on the stove, realizing that dinner would be late. Charlie was hanging up his gun belt and stepping out of his boots when I came in.

"Sorry, Dad, dinner's not ready yet—I fell asleep outside." I stifled a yawn.

"Don't worry about it," he said. "I wanted to catch the score on the game, anyway."

I watched TV with Charlie after dinner, for something to do. There wasn't anything on I wanted to watch, so I tried my hardest to pay attention to the baseball game. I asked a few questions here and there, trying to understand better, and Charlie would respond quickly. I thought maybe I was annoying him, but he seemed happy to be doing something together. Despite my lack of interest in the game, I was happy too. "Dad," I said during a commercial, "Jeremy and Allen are going to look at tuxes and flowers for the dance tomorrow night in Port Angeles, and they wanted me to help them choose…do you mind if I go with them?"

"Jeremy Stanley?" He asked, confused.

"And Allen Weber."

He was definitely confused, "Are you going to the dance with one of them? I thought you said you weren't going."

"I'm not going, Dad. I'm just helping them find tuxes—you know, giving my opinion and stuff."

"Well, okay." He chuckled, "I don't know how you do it. Your mom used to drive me crazy when she'd make me go shopping with her."

"I manage okay." I smiled.

"It's a school night, though." He added. "We'll leave right after school, so we can get back early. You'll be okay for dinner, right?"

"Bella, I fed myself for seventeen years before you got here," he reminded me. "I don't know how you survived." I said, sarcastically.

He grinned, keeping his eyes on the TV.

I laughed, "I'll leave some things for cold-cut sandwiches in the fridge, ok? Right on top."

It was sunny again in the morning. I awakened with renewed hope that I stubbornly tried to suppress. I dressed for the warmer weather in a dark blue, deep V-neck shirt—something I could wear in the dead of winter in Pheonix.

I had planned my arrival at school so that I barely had time to make it to class. With a tinge of disappointment, I circled the full lot looking for a space, while also searching for the silver Volvo that was clearly not there. I parked in the last row and hurried to English, arriving breathless, but subdued, before the final bell.

It was the same as yesterday—I just couldn't keep the little sprouts of hope from budding in my mind, only to have them squashed painfully as I searched the lunchroom in vain and sat at my empty Biology table.

The Port Angeles plan was back on again for tonight. Lauren couldn't make it but told us to have fun and let her know if we saw anything she'd like. I was anxious to get out of town so I could stop glancing over my shoulder, hoping to see her appearing out of the blue the way she always did. I vowed to myself that I would be in a good mood tonight, and thankfully Allen and Jeremy's excitement was infectious. Maybe I could do some clothes shopping as well. I didn't want to think that I might be shopping alone in Seattle this weekend, no longer interested in the earlier arrangement. Surely she wouldn't cancel on me without at least telling me.

After school, Jeremy followed me home in his old white Mercury so that I could ditch my books and truck. I quickly brushed my teeth and fixed my hair when I was inside, feeling a slight lift of excitement as I contemplated getting out of Forks. I changed into a nicer, better fitting pair of jeans, grabbed my wallet, and left a note for Charlie on the table, explaining again where to find dinner. I ran out to join Jeremy and he wolf-whistled at me.

"Yeow, looking good, Swan." He winked.

I laughed, "Control yourself, Stanley."

"You ready?" He snickered.

"Let's get out of here."

We went to Allen's house next, and he was waiting for us. Jeremy whooped and hollered about friends' night out as Allen and I laughed. My excitement increased exponentially as we actually drove out of the town limits


	15. ghost Edyth pov

I did not see much of Jasper's guests for the two sunny days that they were in Forks. I only went home at all so Esme wouldn't worry. Otherwise, my existence seemed like more of a specter than a vampire. I hovered, invisible in the shadows, where I could follow the object of my love and obsession—where I could see her and hear her in the minds of the lucky humans who could walk through the sunlight beside her, sometimes accidentally brushing the back of her hand with their own. She never reacted to such contact; their hands were just as warm as hers.

The enforced absence from school had never been a trial like this before. But the sun seemed to make her happy, so I could not resent it too much. Anything that pleased her was in my good graces.

Monday morning, I eavesdropped on a conversation that had the potential to destroy my confidence and make the time spent away from her a torture. As it ended up, though, it rather made my day.

I had to feel some little respect for Makayla Newton; she had not simply given up and slunk away to nurse her wounds. She had more bravery than I'd given her credit for. She was going to try again.

Bella got to school quite early and, seeming intent on enjoying the sun while it lasted, sat at one of the seldom used picnic benches while she waited for the first bell to ring. Her hair caught the sun in unexpected ways, giving off a reddish shine that I had not anticipated.

Makayla found her there, doodling again, and was thrilled at her good luck.

It was agonizing to only be able to watch, powerless, bound to the forest's shadows by the bright sunlight.

Bella greeted her with enough enthusiasm to make Makayla ecstatic, and me the opposite.

She likes me. Bella wouldn't smile like that if she didn't. I bet she wanted to go to the dance with me. Wonder what's so important in Seattle…

Makayla perceived the change in Bella's hair. "I never noticed before—your hair has red in it."

I accidentally uprooted the young spruce tree my hand was resting on when she pinched a strand of Bella's hair between her fingers.

"Only in the sun," Bella said. To my deep satisfaction, she cringed away from Makayla slightly when she ran her hands through Bella's hair.

I briefly considered the ramifications of ripping Makayla's hand off her arm.

It took Makayla a minute to build up her courage, wasting some time on small talk.

Bella reminded her of the essay we all had due on Wednesday. From the faintly smug expression on Bella's face, hers was already done. Makayla had forgotten altogether, and that severely diminished her free time.

Dang—stupid essay.

Finally she got to the point—my teeth were clenched so hard they could have pulverized granite—and even then, she couldn't make herself ask the question outright.

"I was going to ask if you wanted to go out."

"Oh," Bella said.

There was a brief silence.

Oh? What does that mean? Is she going to say yes? Wait—I guess I didn't really ask.

She swallowed hard.

"Well, we could go get dinner or something… and I could work on it later."

Stupid—that wasn't a question, either.

"Makayla…"

The agony and fury of my jealousy was every bit as powerful as it had been last week. I broke another tree trying to hold myself there. I wanted so badly to race across the campus, too fast for human eyes, and snatch Bella up—to steal her away from the girl that I hated so much in this moment I could have killed her and enjoyed it.

Would Bella say yes to her?

"I don't… Maybe that's not the best idea."

I breathed again. My rigid body relaxed.

Seattle was just an excuse, after all. Shouldn't have asked. What was I thinking? Bet it's that freak, Cullen…

"Why?" she asked sullenly.

"I think…" she hesitated. "Well, here's the thing…" Another hesitation, and she sighed. "Makayla, do you like Jeremy?"

"Jeremy?"What about him…?

I tried to deduce Bella's intentions, myself. Feeling almost as bewildered as Makayla. Was this a way to throw Makayla off?

"Yes, Jeremy." Bella repeated. "Do you like him?"

"Well…" Makayla hesitated.Jeremy's handsome. He's cool, too. But if I say yes… well… huh."Yeah. I guess I do."

"Makayla," Bella began softly, "Jeremy really likes you. And he's one of my best friends and I don't want to hurt his feelings." She spoke slowly and emphatically, trying to gently impart the meanings of her words to the thick-headed girl in front of her.

"But—" Makayla began, her face crimson.

"And I think, Makayla," Bella interrupted, "that when you're asking to hang out with me it's in a more-than-friends way."

Damn. I… Damn… Wow…

Makayla was beyond words at this point. Just incoherent thoughts. The thoughts were incoherent, but tone behind them was deep and serious.

Bella took a deep breath and gently continued. "So, I think it'd be best if we didn't get dinner. Okay?"

Jeremy. Huh. Wow. Huh."Oh," she managed to say.

Bella used this confusion to make her exit.

"It's time for class, and I can't be late again."

Bella gathered her books, and went to leave. Makayla stayed where she was, clearly floored by the revelations this conversation had caused in her mind.

"Hey…" Bella gently patted her hunched shoulder. "You coming?"

Makayla followed her towards building three, lost deep in her own thoughts. She found, as she turned the idea of Jeremy around and around in her head, that she rather liked the thought of him finding her attractive. She still found Bella attractive, but she could admit she found them both appealing in different ways. As this realization dawned on her, her thoughts become lighter, almost relieved, like she had finally realized something about herself. When it was time for them to part, she stopped and turned to Bella. She smiled, somewhat.

"Thanks, Bella."

I found myself marveling, once again, at the compassion and selflessness Bella possessed. The maturity with which she carried herself, and the intelligence with which she articulated her secret thoughts. She was a wonder. A beautiful creature that I had no right to love.

When she was out of sight, I curled up against the cool trunk of an enormous madrone tree and I danced from mind to mind, keeping her in sight, always glad when Allen Weber was available to look through. I wished there was some way to thank the Weber boy for simply being a nice person. It made me feel better to think that Bella had such a kind friend in her life.

I watched Bella's face from whichever angle I was given, and I could see that she was sad again. This surprised me—I thought the sun would be enough to keep her smiling. At lunch, I saw her glance time and time again toward the empty Cullen table, and that thrilled me. It gave me hope. Perhaps she missed me, too.

She had plans to go out with a few of her guy-friends—I automatically planned my own surveillance—but these plans were postponed when Makayla invited Jeremy out for dinner that night.

So I went straight to her home instead, doing a quick sweep of the woods to make sure no one dangerous had wandered too close. I knew Jasper had warned his one-time brother to avoid the town—citing my insanity as both an explanation and warning—but I wasn't taking any chances. Peter and Charlotte had no intention of causing animosity with my family, but intentions were changeable things…

All right, I was overdoing it. I knew that.

As if she knew I was watching, as if she took pity on the agony I felt when I couldn't see her, Bella came out to the backyard after a long hour indoors. She had a book in her hand and a blanket under her arm.

Silently, I climbed into the higher branches of the closest tree overlooking the yard.

She spread the blanket on the damp grass and then lay on her stomach and started flipping through the worn book, as if trying to find her place. I read over her shoulder.

Ah—more classics. She was an Austen fan.

She read quickly, crossing and recrossing her ankles in the air. I was watching the sunlight and the wind play in her hair when her body suddenly stiffened, and her hand froze on the page. All I saw was that she'd reached chapter three when she roughly grabbed a thick section of pages and shoved them over.

I caught a glance of the title page,Mansfield Park. She was starting a new story—the book was a compilation of novels. I wondered why she'd switched stories so abruptly.

Just a few moments later, she quickly closed the book. With a deep sigh, she set the book aside and flipped over onto her back. She took a deep breath, as if to calm herself, pushed her sleeves up and closed her eyes. I remembered the novel, but I couldn't think of anything in it to upset her. Another mystery. I sighed.

She lay very still, seeming to concentrate on every breath.

Her breathing slowed. After several long minutes her lips began to tremble. Mumbling in her sleep.

Impossible to resist. I listened as far out as I could, catching voices in the houses nearby.

Two tablespoons of flour… one cup of milk…

C'mon! Get it through the hoop! Aw, c'mon!

Red, or blue… or maybe I should wear something more casual…

There was no one close by. I jumped to the ground, landing silently on my toes.

This was very wrong, very risky. How condescendingly I'd once judged Emmett for his thoughtless ways and Jasper for his lack of discipline—and now I was consciously flouting all the rules with a wild abandon that made their lapses look like nothing at all. I used to be the responsible one.

I sighed, but crept out into the sunshine, regardless.

I avoided looking at myself in the sun's glare. It was bad enough that my skin was stone and inhuman in shadow; I didn't want to look at Bella and myself side by side in the sunlight. The difference between us was already insurmountable, painful enough without this image also in my head.

But I couldn't ignore the fiery prisms that reflected onto her skin when I got closer. My jaw locked at the sight. Could I be any more of a freak? I imagined her terror if she opened her eyes now…

I started to retreat, but she mumbled again, holding me there.

"Mmm… Mmm."

Nothing intelligible. Well, I would wait for a bit.

I carefully stole her book, stretching my arm out and holding my breath while I was close, just in case. I started breathing again when I was a few yards away, tasting the way the sunshine and open air affected her scent. The heat seemed to sweeten the smell. My throat flamed with desire, the fire fresh and fierce again because I had been away from her for too long.

I spent a moment controlling that, and then—forcing myself to breathe through my nose—I let her book fall open in my hands. She'd started with the first book… I flipped through the pages quickly to the third chapter of Sense and Sensibility, searching for something potentially offensive in Austen's overly polite prose.

When my eyes stopped automatically at my name well close my my name—the character Edward Ferrars being introduced for the first time—Bella spoke again.

"Mmm. Edyth." She sighed.

This time I did not fear that she had awoken. Her voice was just a low, wistful murmur. Not the scream of fear it would have been if she'd seen me now.

Joy warred with self-loathing. She was still dreaming of me, at least.

"Edmund. Ahh. Too… close…"

Edmund?

Ha! She wasn't dreaming of me at all, I realized blackly. The self-loathing returned in force. She was dreaming of fictional characters. So much for my conceit.

I replaced her book, and stole back into the cover of the shadows—where I belonged.

The afternoon passed and I watched, feeling helpless again, as the sun slowly sank in the sky and the shadows sprawled across the lawn toward her. I wanted to push them back, but the darkness was inevitable; the shadows took her. When the light was gone, her skin looked too pale—ghostly. Her hair was dark again, almost black against her face.

It was a frightening thing to watch—like witnessing Alice's vision come to fruition. Bella's steady, strong heartbeat was the only reassurance, the sound that kept this moment from feeling like a nightmare.

I was relieved when her father arrived home.

I could hear little from Charlie Swan as he drove down the street toward the house. Some vague annoyance… in the past, something from his day at work. Expectation mixed with hunger—I guessed that he was looking forward to dinner. But his thoughts were so quiet and contained that I could not be sure I was right; I only got the gist of them.

I wondered what Bella's mother sounded like—what the genetic combination had been that had formed her so uniquely.

Bella started awake, jerking up to a sitting position when the tires of her father's car hit the brick driveway. She stared around herself, seeming confused by the unexpected darkness. For one brief moment, her eyes touched the shadows where I hid, but they flickered quickly away.

"Charlie?" she asked in a low voice, still peering into the trees surrounding the small yard.

The door of the cruiser slammed shut, and Bella looked to the sound. She got to her feet quickly and gathered her things, casting one more look back toward the woods.

I moved into a tree closer to the back window near the small kitchen, and listened to their evening. It was interesting to compare Charlie's words to his muffled thoughts. His love and concern for his only daughter were nearly overwhelming, and yet his words were always short and casual. Most of the time, they sat in companionable silence.

I heard Bella discuss her plans for the following evening in Port Angeles, and I refined my own plans as I listened. Jasper had not warned Peter and Charlotte to stay clear of Port Angeles. Though I knew that they had fed recently and had no intention of hunting anywhere in the vicinity of our home, I would watch her, just in case. After all, there were always others of my kind out there. And then, all those human dangers that I had never much considered before now.

I heard Bella worry aloud about leaving her father to prepare dinner alone, and smiled at this proof to my theory—yes, she was a care-taker.

And then I left, knowing I would return when she was asleep.

I would not trespass on her privacy the way a peeping tom would have. I was here for her protection, not to leer at her the way Makayla Newton no doubt would, were she agile enough to move through the treetops the way I could. I would not treat Bella so crassly.

My house was empty when I returned, which was fine by me. I didn't miss the confused or disparaging thoughts, questioning my sanity. Emmett had left a note stuck to the newel post.

Football at the Ranier field—c'mon! Please?

I found a pen and scrawled the word sorry beneath his plea. The teams were even without me, in any case.

I went for the shortest of hunting trips, contenting myself with the smaller, gentler creatures that did not taste as good as the hunters, and then changed into fresh clothes before I ran back to Forks.

Bella did not sleep well tonight. She thrashed in her blankets, her face sometimes worried, sometimes sad. I wondered what nightmares haunted her… and then realized that perhaps I really didn't want to know.

When she spoke, she mostly muttered about Forks in a glum voice. Only once, when she sighed out the words "Come back" and her hand twitched open—a wordless plea—did I have a chance to hope she might be dreaming of me.

The next day of school, the last day the sun would hold me prisoner, was much the same as the day before. Bella seemed even gloomier than yesterday, and I wondered if she would bow out of her plans—she didn't seem in the mood.

But, being Bella, she would probably put her friends' enjoyment above that of her own.

She wore a dark blue, deep-V necked shirt today, and the color set her skin off perfectly, making it look like fresh cream.

School ended, and Jeremy agreed to pick everyone up—Allen was going, too, for which I was grateful.

I went home to get my car. When I found that Peter and Charlotte were there, I decided I could afford to give Bella and her friends an hour or so head start. I would never be able to bear following behind them, driving at the speed limit—hideous thought.

I came in through the kitchen, nodding vaguely at Emmett's and Esme's greetings as I passed by everyone in the front room and went straight to the piano.

Ugh, she's back. Royal, of course.

Ah, Edyth. I hate to see her suffering so.Esme's joy was becoming marred by concern. She should be concerned. This love story she envisioned for me was careening toward a tragedy more perceptibly every moment.

Have fun in Port Angeles tonight,Alice thought cheerfully.Let me know when I'm allowed to talk to Bella.

You're pathetic. I can't believe you missed the game last night just to watch somebody sleep,Emmett grumbled.

Jasper paid me no mind, even when the song I played came out a little more stormily than I'd intended. It was an old song, with a familiar theme: impatience. Jasper was saying goodbye to his friends, who eyed me curiously.

What a strange creature, The Alice-sized white-blonde Charlotte was thinking.And she was so normal and pleasant the last time we met.

Peter's thoughts were in sync with hers, as was usually the case.

It must be the animals. The lack of human blood drives them mad eventually, he was concluding. His hair was just as fair as hers, and almost as long. They were very similar—except for size, as he was almost as tall as Jasper—in both look and thought. A well matched pair, I'd always thought.

Everyone but Esme stopped thinking about me after a moment, and I played in more subdued tones so that I would not attract notice.

I did not pay attention to them for a long while, just letting the music distract me from my unease. It was hard to have Bella out of sight and mind. I only returned my attention to their conversation when the goodbyes grew more final.

"If you see Maria again," Jasper was saying, a little warily, "tell her that I wish her well."

Maria was the vampire who had created both Jasper and Peter—Jasper in the latter half of the nineteenth century, Peter more recently, in the nineteen forties. She'd looked Jasper up once when we were in Calgary. It had been an eventful visit—we'd had to move immediately. Jasper had politely asked her to keep her distance in the future.

"I don't imagine that will happen soon," Peter said with a laugh—Maria was undeniably dangerous and there was not much love lost between her and Peter. Peter had, after all, been instrumental in Jasper's defection. Jasper had always been Maria's favorite; she considered it a minor detail that she had once planned to kill him. "But, should it happen, I certainly will."

They were shaking hands then, preparing to depart. I let the song I was playing trail off to an unsatisfying end, and got hastily to my feet.

"Charlotte, Peter," I said, nodding.

"It was nice to see you again, Edyth," Charlotte said doubtfully. Peter just nodded in return.

Madwoman,Emmett threw after me.

Idiot, Royal thought at the same time.

Poor girl. Esme.

And Alice, in a chiding tone.They're going straight east, to Seattle. Nowhere near Port Angeles. She showed me the proof in her visions.

I pretended I hadn't heard that. My excuses were already flimsy enough.

Once in my car, I felt more relaxed; the robust purr of the engine Royal had boosted for me—last year, when he was in a better mood—was soothing. It was a relief to be in motion, to know that I was getting closer to Bella with every mile that flew away under my tires.


	16. port Angeles Bella pov

Jeremy drove faster than the Chief, so we made it to Port Angeles by four. I couldn't remember the last time I'd had a night out with friends—a friends' night out, as Jeremy had proclaimed—and it was invigorating. We listened to whiny rock songs while Jeremy jabbered on about the girls we hung out with. Jeremy's dinner with Makayla had gone very well, and he was hoping that by Saturday night they would have progressed to the first-kiss stage. I smiled to myself, pleased. Allen was passively happy to be going to the dance, but not really interested in Carrie, who he was going with. Jeremy tried to get him to confess who his type was, but I interrupted with a question about tuxes for a bit, to spare him. Allen

threw a grateful glance my way.

Port Angeles was a beautiful little tourist trap, much more polished and quaint than Forks. But Jeremy and Allen knew it well, so they didn't plan to waste time on the picturesque boardwalk by the bay. Jeremy drove straight to the one big department store in town, which was a few streets in from the bay area's visitor-friendly face.

The dance was billed as semiformal, and we weren't exactly sure what that meant. Both Jeremy and Allen seemed surprised and almost disbelieving when I told them I'd never been to a dance in Phoenix.

"You really never went with a girlfriend or something?" Jeremy asked dubiously as we walked through the front doors of the store.

"Really," I tried to convince him, not wanting to confess my dancing problems in addition to my lackluster love life. "I've never had a girlfriend or anything close. I didn't go out much."

"Why not?" Jeremy demanded.

"No one asked me," I answered honestly.

"I find that hard to believe—you're so cute!"

"I swear, no one did." I sighed, blushing softly.

Jeremy interrupted my self-appraisal. "People ask you out here," he reminded me, "and you tell them no."

We were in the juniors' section now, scanning the racks for dance- clothes.

"Well, except for Taylor," Allen amended quietly.

"Excuse me?" I gasped. "What did you say?"

"Taylor told everyone she's taking you to prom." Jeremy informed me, concealing a smirk.

"She said what?" I sounded like I was choking.

"I told you it wasn't true," Allen whispered to Jeremy.

I was silent, still lost in shock that was quickly turning to irritation. Taylor had only asked me because she felt bad about the accident. She liked boys. We found the tux racks, and now we had work to do.

"That's why Logan doesn't like you," Jeremy giggled while we pawed through the clothes. "He knows Lauren likes Taylor and he thinks you're trying to steal her from her."

"And he totally has a crush on Taylor, too." Allen added, smiling. Jeremy made a show of shushing him like it was some big secret, but he was laughing.

I sighed. "Do you think that if I ran Taylor over with my truck she would stop feeling guilty about the accident? That she might give up on making amends and call it even?"

"Maybe," Jeremy snickered. "If that's why she's doing this."

I glared at him and gave him a playful shove, he only snickered harder.

The tux selection wasn't large, but both of them found a few things to try on. I sat on a low chair just inside the dressing room, by the three-way mirror.

Jeremy was torn between two—one a fancy, blue, basic with a black tie, the other a black . I encouraged him to go with the blue; why not play up the eyes?

"And the boys." She shimmied at me showing of his muscles , before darting back into the dressing room.

Allen chose a light blue tux that came with a fancy white tie. I complimented them both generously and helped by returning the rejects to their racks. The whole process was much shorter and easier than similar trips I'd taken with my mom at home. I guess there was something to be said for limited choices.

We headed over to shoes and accessories. While they tried things on I watched and critiqued, only vaguely considering heading over to the women's section for some new clothes for myself. A thought I had managed to keep out of my head all night slowly creeped into the forefront of my mind.

"Allen?" I began, hesitant, while he was trying on a pair of white dress shoes—he was overjoyed to have a date short enough that he could bend down because he thought it was cute. Jeremy had drifted over to the jewelry counter to look for a gift for Makayla and we were alone.

"Yes?" He held his leg out, twisting his ankle to get a better view of the shoe.

I chickened out. "I like those."

"I think I'll get them—though they'll never match anything but the one white tux," he mused.

"Oh, go ahead—they're on sale," I encouraged. He smiled, putting the lid back on a box that contained more practical-looking off-white tux shoes.

I tried again. "Um, Allen…" He looked up curiously.

"Is it normal for the…Cullens"—I kept my eyes on the shoes—"to be out of school a lot?" I failed miserably in my attempt to sound nonchalant.

"Yes, when the weather is good they go backpacking all the time—even the doctor. They're all real outdoorsy," he told me quietly, examining his shoes, too. He didn't ask one question, let alone the hundreds that Jeremy would have unleashed. I was beginning to really like Allen.

"Oh." I let the subject drop as Jeremy returned to show us the rhinestone jewelry he'd found to buy for Makayla .

We planned to go to dinner at a little Italian restaurant on the boardwalk, but the dress shopping hadn't taken as long as we'd expected. Jeremy and Allen were going to take their tuxes back to the car and then walk down to the bay. I told them I would meet them at the restaurant in an hour—I wanted to look for a bookstore. They were both willing to come with me, but I encouraged them to go have fun—they didn't know how preoccupied I could get when surrounded by books; it was something I preferred to do alone. They walked off to the car chattering happily, and I headed in the direction Jeremy pointed out.

I had no trouble finding the bookstore, but it wasn't what I was looking for. The windows were full of crystals, dream-catchers, and books about spiritual healing. I didn't even go inside. Through the glass I could see a fifty-year-old woman with long, gray hair worn straight down her back, clad in a dress right out of the sixties, smiling welcomingly behind the counter. I decided that I would try my luck in finding a more conventional book store.

I meandered through the streets, which were filling up with end-of-the-workday traffic, and hoped I was headed toward downtown. I wasn't paying as much attention as I should to where I was going; I was wrestling with my thoughts. I was trying hard not to think about her, and what Allen had said… and more than anything trying to beat down my hopes for Saturday, fearing disappointment, when I looked up to see someone's silver Volvo parked along the street and it all hit me. Stupid, unreliable vampire, I thought to myself. I chuckled darkly, even then.

I kept walking along in a southerly direction, toward some glass-fronted shops that looked promising. But when I got to them, they were just a repair shop and a vacant space. I still had too much time to go looking for Jeremy and Allen yet, and I needed to lift my spirits before I met back up with them. I ran my fingers through my hair a couple of times and took some deep breaths before I continued around the corner.

I started to realize, as I crossed another road, that I was going the wrong direction. The little foot traffic I had seen was going north, and it looked like the buildings were mostly warehouses. I decided to turn east at the next corner, and then loop around after a few blocks and try my luck on a different street on my way back to the boardwalk.

A group of four men turned around the corner I was heading for, dressed too casually to be heading home from the office, but they were too grimy to be tourists. A couple of them were carrying beer cans. As they approached me, I realized they weren't too many years older than I was. They were joking loudly among themselves, laughing raucously and punching each other's arms. I scooted as far to the inside of the sidewalk as I could to give them room, walking swiftly, looking past them to the corner

"Hey, there!" one of them called as they passed, and he had to be talking to me since no one else was around. I glanced up automatically. Two of them had paused, and the other two were slowing. The closest, a heavyset, dark-haired man in his early twenties, seemed to be the one who had spoken. He was wearing a flannel shirt open over a dirty t-shirt, cut-off jeans, and sandals. He reeked of alcohol. He took a step toward me.

"Hello," I mumbled, a knee-jerk reaction. Then I quickly looked away and walked faster around toward the corner. I could hear them laughing at full volume behind me.

"Hey, wait!" one of them called after me again, but I kept my head down and rounded the corner with a sigh of relief. I could still hear them chortling behind me.

I found myself on a sidewalk leading past the backs of several somber-colored warehouses, each with large bay doors for unloading trucks, padlocked for the night. The south side of the street had no sidewalk, only a chain-link fence topped with barbed wire protecting some kind of engine parts storage yard. I'd wandered far past the part of Port Angeles that I, as a guest, was intended to see. It was getting dark, I realized, the clouds finally returning, piling up on the western horizon, creating an early sunset. The eastern sky was still clear, but graying, shot through with streaks of pink and orange. I'd left my jacket in the car, and a sudden shiver made me cross my arms tightly across my chest. A single van passed me, and then the road was empty.

The sky suddenly darkened further, and, as I looked over my shoulder to glare at the offending cloud, I realized with a shock that two men were walking quietly twenty feet behind me.

They were from the same group I'd passed at the corner, though neither was the stocky one who'd spoken to me. I turned my head forward at once, quickening my pace. A chill that had nothing to do with the weather made me shiver again. I quickly moved my wallet from my back pocket to my front pocket. I didn't have much money with me, just a twenty and some ones, and I thought about "accidentally" dropping my wallet and walking away. A small, frightened voice in the back of my mind warned me that I needed to move faster.

I listened intently to their quiet footsteps, which were much too quiet when compared to the boisterous noise they'd been making earlier, and it didn't sound like they were speeding up, or getting any closer to me. Breathe, I had to remind myself. You don't know they're following you. I continued to walk as quickly as I could without actually running, focusing on the right-hand turn that was only a few yards away from me now. I could hear them, staying as far back as they'd been before. A blue car turned onto the street from the south and drove quickly past me. I thought of jumping out in front of it, but I hesitated, inhibited, unsure that I was really being pursued, and then it was too late.

I reached the corner, but a swift glance revealed that it was only a blind drive to the back of another building. I was half-turned in anticipation; I had to hurriedly correct and dash across the narrow drive, back to the sidewalk. The street ended at the next corner, where there was a stop sign. I concentrated on the faint footsteps behind me, deciding whether or not to run. They sounded farther back, though, and I knew they could outrun me in any case. I was sure to trip and go sprawling if I tried to go any faster. The footfalls were definitely farther back. I risked a quick glance over my shoulder, and they were maybe forty feet back now, I saw with relief. But they were both staring at me.

It seemed to take forever for me to get to the corner. I kept my pace steady, the men behind me falling ever so slightly farther behind with every step. Maybe they realized they had scared me and were sorry. I saw two cars going north pass the intersection I was heading for, and I exhaled in relief. There would be more people around once I got off this deserted street. I skipped around the corner with a grateful sigh.

And skidded to a stop.

The street was lined on both sides by blank, door-less, windowless walls. I could see in the distance, two intersections down, streetlamps, cars, and more pedestrians, but they were all too far away. Because lounging against the western building, midway down the street, were the other two men from the group, both watching with wicked smiles as I froze dead on the sidewalk. I realized then that I wasn't being followed.

I was being herded.

I paused for only a second, but it felt like a very long time. I turned then and darted to the other side of the road. I had a sinking feeling that it was a wasted attempt. The footsteps behind me were louder now.

"There you are!" The booming voice of the stocky, dark-haired man shattered the intense quiet and made me jump. In the gathering darkness, it seemed like he was looking past me.

"Yeah," a voice called loudly behind me, making me jump again as I tried to hurry down the street. "We just took a little detour."

My steps had to slow now. I was closing the distance between myself and the lounging pair too quickly. I can usually shout pretty loudly, and I sucked in air, preparing to call for help, but my throat was so dry I wasn't sure how much volume I could manage. I knew little about fighting, but I put myself in a defensive stance.

"Stay away from me," I warned in a voice that was supposed sound strong and fearless. But I was right about the dry throat—no volume.

"Don't be like that." He called, and the raucous laughter started again behind me.

I braced myself, feet apart, and raised my fists. I wasn't exceptionally strong but I was scrappy. I could probably do some damage. And there was always the standard knee to the groin, of course. That same pessimistic voice in my mind spoke up then, reminding me that I probably didn't have a chance against one of them, and there were four.Shut up!I commanded the voice before panic incapacitated me. I wasn't going out without taking someone with me. I took a deep breath and prepared myself.

Headlights suddenly flew around the corner, the car almost hitting the stocky one, forcing him to jump back toward the sidewalk. I dove into the road—thiscar was going to stop, or have to hit me. But the silver car unexpectedly fishtailed around, skidding to a stop with the passenger door open just a few feet from me.

"Get in," a furious voice hissed.

I felt an instantaneous feeling of security wash over me—even before I was off the street—as soon as I heard her voice. I jumped into the seat, slamming the door shut behind me.

It was dark in the car, no light had come on with the opening of the door, and I could barely see her face in the glow from the dashboard. The tires squealed as she spun around to face north, accelerating too quickly, swerving toward the stunned men on the street. I caught a glimpse of them diving for the sidewalk as we straightened out and sped toward the harbor.

"Put on your seat belt," She said through gritted teeth, and I realized I was clutching the seat with both hands. I quickly obeyed; the snap as the belt connected was loud in the darkness. She took a sharp left, racing forward, blowing through several stop signs without pause.

But I felt oddly at ease, and totally unconcerned about where we were going. I stared at her beautiful face and felt a profound relief that went beyond my sudden rescue. It took me a few minutes of staring at her face to realize that she looked incredibly angry.

"Are you ok?" I asked, surprised at how hoarse my voice sounded.

"No," she answered shortly, and her tone was livid.

I sat in silence, watching her face while her blazing eyes stared straight ahead, until the car came to a sudden stop. I glanced around, but it was too dark to see anything beside the vague outline of dark trees crowding the roadside. We weren't in town anymore.

"Bella?" she asked, her voice tight, controlled.

"Yes?" My voice was still rough. I tried to clear my throat quietly.

"Are you all right?" She still didn't look at me, but the fury was plain on her face.

"Yes," I croaked softly.

"Distract me, please," She practically choked out the words.

"I'm sorry, what?"

She exhaled sharply.

"Please, just talk. Talk about anything you want until I calm down," she clarified, closing her eyes and locking her jaw.

"Um." I wracked my brain for something to say, "I'm going to run over Taylor Crowley tomorrow before school?"

She was still squeezing her eyes closed, but the corner of her mouth twitched.

"Why?"

"She's telling everyone that she's taking me to prom—either she's insane or she's still trying to make up for almost killing me last…well, you were there, you remember, and she thinks takingmetopromis somehow the correct way to do this. So I figure if I endanger her life, then we're even, and she can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies and maybe's Lauren's brother, Logan, would back off if Taylor left me alone. I might have to total her Sentra, though. If she doesn't have a ride she can't take anyone to prom…," I babbled on.

"I heard about that." She sounded a bit more composed.

"Youdid?" I asked in disbelief, my irritation with Taylor was mounting. "If she's paralyzed from the neck down, she can't go to the prom either." I muttered.

Edyth sighed, and finally opened her eyes.

"Better?"

"Not really."

I waited, but she didn't speak again. She leaned her head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car. Her face was rigid.

"What's wrong?" My voice came out in a whisper.

She didn't say anything, just continued to stare. I looked down at her hand that was resting on the center console, it was in a tight fist. Much like those early days in Biology. For a moment I hesitated, then I reached out and rested my hand on her arm. When I looked back up, she was facing me. Her face looked less furious; more a mixture of anger with the mildest touch of surprise.

"Edyth, what's wrong?" I asked again.

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." She finally spoke, barely above a whisper. "But itwouldn'tbe helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" She didn't finish her sentence; she looked away, struggling for a moment to control her anger again. "At least," she continued, "that's what I'm trying to convince myself."

"No, it wouldn't." I said softly.

"I shouldn't go back to those… those thugs." It wasn't quite a statement, or a question. Somewhere in the middle.

"Um, no."

She sighed a long, slow sigh.

Everything Julie had said back on the beach was resurfacing in my mind as we sat there in silence. What did Edyth think she would do? Did I want to know? If everything I suspected was true, if everything Julie had told me about thecold oneswas true… I realized I didn't want to know what Edyth would do. What Edythcoulddo.

I glanced at the clock on the dashboard. It was past six-thirty.

"Jeremy and Allen will be worried," I murmured. "I was supposed to meet them."

I slowly removed my hand from her arm and she started the engine without another word, turning around smoothly and speeding back towards town. We were under the streetlights in no time at all, still going too fast, weaving with ease through the cars slowly cruising the boardwalk. She parallel-parked against the curb in a space I would have thought much too small for the Volvo, but she slid in effortlessly in one try. I looked out the window to see the lights of La Bella Italia, and Jer and Allen just leaving, pacing anxiously away from us.

"How did you know where…?" I began, but then I just shook my head. I heard the door open and turned to see her getting out.

"What are you doing?" I asked.

"I'm taking you to dinner." She smiled slightly, but her eyes were hard. She stepped out of the car and closed the door. I fumbled with my seat belt, and she had rounded the car and was opening the door for me before I had the chance to do it myself.

She spoke before I could. "Go stop Jeremy and Allen before I have to track them down, too. I don't think I could restrain myself if I ran into your other friends again."

I shivered at the thought of Jeremy and Allen running into those men.

"Jer! Allen!" I yelled after them, waving when they turned. They rushed back to me, the pronounced relief on both their faces simultaneously changing to surprise as they saw who I was standing next to. They hesitated a few feet from us.

"Where have you been?" Jeremy's voice was full of worry.

"I got lost," I admitted sheepishly. "And then I ran into Edyth." I gestured toward her.

"Would it be all right if I joined you?" she asked in her silken, irresistible voice. I could see from their staggered expressions she had never unleashed her talents on them before.

"Er…sure," Jeremy breathed.

"Um, actually, Bella, we already ate while we were waiting—I'm sorry," Allen confessed.

"That's fine—I'm not hungry." I shrugged.

"I think you should eat something." Edyth's voice was low but insistent. She looked up at Jeremy and spoke slightly louder, "Do you mind if I drive Bella home tonight? That way you won't have to wait while she eats."

"Oh, wow, that's.. so thoughtful." He bit his lip, trying to figure out from my expression whether that was what I wanted. I winked at him and he fought off a grin. I knew I needed to be alone with Edyth in order to ask her all the questions that were floating around in my head.

"Okay." Allen smiled. "See you tomorrow, Bella… Edyth." He grabbed Jeremy's hand and pulled him toward the car, which I could see parked across the street. As they got in, Jeremy turned and waved; his face eager with curiosity. I waved back, and they drove off—I swear I heard them giggling. Once they were out of sight, I turned to face Edyth.

"Honestly, I'm not hungry," I insisted, looking up to scrutinize her face. Her face was unreadable.

"Humor me." She smirked.

She walked to the door of the restaurant and held it open with an obstinate expression. Obviously, there would be no further discussion and she did just save my life for the second time, so I suppose I could at least have dinner. I walked past her into the restaurant.

The restaurant wasn't crowded—it was the off-season in Port Angeles. The host was male, and I understood the look in his eyes as he assessed Edyth. He welcomed her a little more warmly than necessary. I was surprised that it bothered me. He was tall, and Bulky, with unnaturally blonde hair.

"A table for two?" Her voice was alluring, whether she was aiming for that or not. I saw his eyes flicker to me and then away, satisfied by the cautious, no-contact space Edyth kept between us. He led us to a table big enough for four in the center of the most crowded area of the dining floor.

I was about to sit, but Edyth shook her head at me.

"Perhaps something more private?" she insisted quietly to the host. I wasn't sure but it looked like she smoothly handed him a tip. I'd never seen anyone refuse a table except in old movies.

"Sure." He sounded surprised as I was. He turned and led us around a partition to a small ring of booths—all of them empty. "How's this?"

"Perfect." She flashed her gleaming smile, dazing him momentarily.

"Um"—he shook his head, blinking—"your server will be right out." He walked away unsteadily.

"You really shouldn't do that to people," I teased. "It's hardly fair."

"Do what?"

"Dazzle them like that—he's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."

She seemed confused.

"Oh, come on," I said dubiously. "Youhaveto know the effect you have on people."

She tilted her head to one side, and her eyes were curious. "I dazzle people?"

"You know you do, so I don't know why you're acting surprised."

She grinned, "Do I dazzleyou?"

"Maybe." I answered shortly.

And then our server arrived, her face expectant. The host had definitely dished behind the scenes, and the server didn't look disappointed. She smoothed her black hair and smiled with unnecessary warmth.

"Hello. My name is Amber, and I'll be your server tonight. What can I get you to drink?" I didn't miss that she was speaking only to Edyth.

Edyth looked at me.

"I'll have a Coke." It sounded like a question.

"Two cokes," Edyth said.

"I'll be right back with that," the server assured her with another unnecessary smile.

Edyth was watching me intently.

"What?" I asked when the server left.

Her eyes stayed fixed on my face. "How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine," I replied, surprised by her intensity.

"You don't feel dizzy, sick, cold…?"

"Should I?"

She chuckled at my puzzled tone.

"Well, I'm actually waiting for you to go into shock. Her face twisted up into the perfect crooked smile.

"I don't think that will happen," I said, slightly breathless. "I've always been pretty good at repressing things."

"Just the same, I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you."

Right on cue, the server appeared with our drinks and a basket of breadsticks. She stood with her back to me as she placed them on the table.

"Are you ready to order?" She asked Edyth.

"Bella?" Edyth smiled. The server turned unwillingly toward me.

I picked the first thing I saw on the menu. "Um…I'll have the mushroom ravioli."

"And you?" She turned back to Edyth with a smile.

"Nothing for me," she said. Of course not.

"Let me know if you change your mind." The coy smile was still on the server's face, but Edyth wasn't looking at her, and she left dissatisfied.

"You should drink," She gestured to my glass.

I sipped at my soda quietly, and then drank more deeply, surprised by how thirsty I was. I realized I had finished the whole thing when she pushed her glass toward me.

"No, I'm fine." I told her.

"I'mnot going to drink it," she said, a smile on the corners of her lips.

"Right," I said and, because Iwasstill thirsty, I downed hers, too.

"Thank you," I said. The cold from the icy soda was radiating through my chest, and I shivered.

"Are you cold?"

"It's just the Coke," I explained, shivering again.

"Don't you have a jacket?" Her voice was concerned.

"Yes." I looked at the empty bench next to me. "Oh—I left it in Jeremy's car," I realized.

Edyth was shrugging out of her jacket. I realized that I had never paid attention to the clothes she wore; I was always looking at her face, at her unreadable expression, and her ever-changing eyes. She was removing a light beige leather jacket now; underneath she wore an ivory sweater. It fit her snugly, emphasizing how curvey her body was.

She handed me the jacket, interrupting my ogling.

"Thank you," I said again, sliding my arms into her jacket. It was cold— the way my jacket felt when I first picked it up in the morning, hanging in the drafty hallway. I shivered again. It smelled amazing. I inhaled, trying to identify the delicious scent. It didn't smell like perfume. The sleeves were much too long; I shoved them back so I could free my hands.

"That color blue looks wonderful with your skin," she said, watching me. I was surprised; I looked down, flushing, of course.

She pushed the bread basket toward me.

"Really, I'm not going into shock," I protested.

"Humor me?" she said, with that smile I liked so much.

I rolled my eyes and grabbed a breadstick.

"Good girl," She laughed.

"Don't push your luck." I warned her, she smirked.

"I don't know how you can be so blasé about this. You should be upset— anyone else would be. You don't even look shaken." She seemed unsettled. She stared into my eyes, and I saw how light her eyes were, lighter than I'd ever seen them, golden butterscotch.

"I feel safe with you," I confessed, even though I had that constant fear of Edyth in the back of my mind, it was miles away tonight.

That displeased her; her brow furrowed. She shook her head, frowning.

"This is more complicated than I'd planned," she murmured to herself. I finally nibbled on the end of the breadstick, measuring her expression.

"Usually you're in a better mood when your eyes are so light," I commented, trying to distract her from whatever thought had left her frowning and somber.

She stared at me, stunned. "What?"

"You're always crabbier when your eyes are black— I expect it then," I went on. "I have a theory about that."

Her eyes narrowed. "More theories?"

"Mm-hm." I chewed on a small bite of the bread, looking indifferent.

"I hope you were more creative this time… or are you still stealing from comic books?" Her faint smile was mocking; her eyes were still tight.

"Well, no, I didn't get it from a comic book, but I didn't come up with it on my own, either," I shrugged.

"And?" she prompted. But then the server strode around the partition with my food. I realized we'd been unconsciously leaning toward each other across the table, because we both straightened up as she approached. She set the dish in front of me— it looked pretty good— and turned quickly to Edyth.

"Did you change your mind?" she asked. "Isn't there anything I can get you?" I may have been imagining the double meaning in her words.

"No, thank you, but some more soda would be nice." She gestured with a long white hand to the empty cups in front of me.

"Sure." She removed the empty glasses and walked away.

"You were saying?" Edyth asked.

"I'll tell you about it in the car. If…" I paused.

"There are conditions?" She raised one eyebrow, her voice amused.

"I do have a few questions, of course."

"Of course."

The server was back with two more Cokes. She sat them down without a word this time, and left again.

I took a sip.

"Well, go ahead," she pushed, her voice still hard.

I started with the most undemanding. Or so I thought. "Why are you in Port Angeles?"

She looked down, folding her large hands together slowly on the table. Her eyes flickered up at me from under her lashes, the hint of a smirk on her face.

"Next."

"But that's the easiest one," I objected.

"Next," she repeated.

I rolled my eyes and unrolled my silverware, picked up my fork, and carefully speared a ravioli. I put it in my mouth slowly, looking down at my plate, chewing while I thought. The mushrooms were good. I swallowed and took another sip of Coke before I looked up.

"Okay, then." I glared at her, and continued slowly. "Let's say, hypothetically of course, that… someone… could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know—with a few exceptions."

"Just one exception," she corrected, "hypothetically."

Well, damn.

"All right, with one exception, then." I was thrilled that she was playing along, but I tried to seem casual. "How does that work? What are the limitations? How would… that someone… find someone else at exactly the right time? How would she know she was in trouble?" I wondered if my convoluted questions even made sense.

"Hypothetically?" she asked.

"Sure."

"Well, if… that someone…"

"Let's call her 'Jane,'" I suggested. She smiled wryly.

"Jane, then. If your Jane had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." She shook her head, rolling her eyes. "Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."

"I don't see how this is my fault."

She stared at me, that familiar frustration in her eyes. "I don't either. But I don't know who to blame."

"Don't blame me then, I don't appreciate it." I said, pointedly.

"My apologies."

"How did you know?" I asked, unable to curb my intensity. I realized I was leaning toward her again.

She seemed to be wavering, torn by some internal dilemma. Her eyes locked with mine, and I guessed she was making the decision right then whether or not to simply tell me the truth.

"You can trust me, you know," I said softly. I reached forward, without thinking, to touch her folded hands, but she slid them away minutely. I pulled my own hand back.

"Iwantto trust you." Her voice was almost a whisper. "But that doesn't mean I should."

"Please?" I asked.

An almost guilty looked danced across her face and she leaned toward me.

"I followed you to Port Angeles," she admitted, speaking in a rush. "I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it's much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because you are a magnet for trouble." She paused.

"A runaway van and a group of drunk thugs hardly makes me a magnet for trouble." I countered. She remained silent.

I wondered if it should bother me that she was following me; shehadsaved my life. If she hadn't followed me who knows what would have happened, but that wasn't necessarily an excuse. She stared, waiting for me to react.

I thought about what she'd said to me before.Do you think I could be scary?

"You put yourself into that category, then? Of trouble?" I asked, softly.

Her face turned hard, expressionless. "Unequivocally."

I stretched my hand across the table again— ignoring her when she pulled back slightly once more— to touch the back of her hand softly with my fingertips. Her skin was cold and hard, like a stone.

"Thank you." I said. "That's twice now."

Her face softened. "Let's not try for three, agreed?"

I narrowed my eyes, but I was smiling.

"Did you ever think that maybe my number was up the first time, with the van, and that you've been interfering with fate?" I speculated, teasing her.

She frowned, and I felt her hand tense beneath mine.

"Edyth?"

She angled her face down, and looked away.

"That wasn't the first time," she said, and her voice was hard to hear. I stared at her intently, but she wouldn't meet my gaze. "Your number was up the first time I met you."

As clearly as if I were back in my first Biology class, I could see Edyth's murderous black glare. I remembered the tenseness in her body, the same tenseness I had seen back in her car when she had asked me to distract her.

"You remember?" she asked, her angel's face grave. "You understand?"

"Yes."

She waited for more, for another reaction. When I didn't say anything, she furrowed her eyebrows.

"You can leave, you know," she said softly. "You could take my car and drive home."

I considered it for a moment. Considered everything I knew, everything I suspected, everything I'd seen and heard. It all swirled around in my mind and I would have left, Ishouldhave left. But there was sadness in her voice, sadness I could barely detect, but it was there. She didn't want me to leave.

"I don't want to leave."

She sighed, frustration keen on her face. "How can you say that?"

I gently squeezed her hand, it was like marble under mine. I had decided to stay because there was something there in Edyth Cullen. It didn't matter to me what she was…something dangerous. It mattered to mewhoshe was. Despite the smirks and the frustrated glances there was something in Edyth that I wanted to be around. Behind the frustration in her eyes, I could see sadness. Sadness at the thought of me leaving.

"You didn't finish answering my question," I reminded her. "How did you find me?"

She pressed her lips together, staring at me through narrowed eyes, deciding again. her eyes flashed down to my full plate, and then back to me.

"You eat, I'll talk," she bargained.

I slowly removed my hand from hers. I grabbed my fork and scooped up another ravioli and popped it in my mouth.

"It's harder than it should be— keeping track of you. Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before." She looked at me anxiously, and I realized I had frozen. I made myself swallow, then stabbed another ravioli and tossed it in.

"I was keeping tabs on Jeremy, not carefully— I honestly didn't think you'd find trouble in Port Angeles— and at first I didn't notice when you took off on your own. Then, when I realized that you weren't with him anymore, I went looking for you at the bookstore I saw in his head. I could tell that you hadn't gone in, and that you'd gone south… and I knew you would have to turn around soon. So I was just waiting for you, randomly searching through the thoughts of people on the street— to see if anyone had noticed you so I would know where you were. I had no reason to be worried… but I was strangely anxious.…" She was lost in thought, staring past me, seeing things I couldn't imagine.

"I started to drive in circles, still… listening. The sun was finally setting, and I was about to get out and follow you on foot. And then—"

She stopped, clenching her teeth together in sudden fury. She made an effort to calm herself.

"Then what?" I whispered. She continued to stare over my head.

"I heard whattheywere thinking," she growled, her upper lip curling slightly back over her teeth. "I saw your face in his mind." She suddenly leaned forward, one elbow appearing on the table, her hand covering her eyes. The movement was so swift it startled me.

"It was very… hard— you can't imagine how hard— for me to simply take you away, and leave them… alive." Her voice was muffled by her arm. "I could have let you go with Jeremy and Allen, but I was afraid if you left me alone, I would go looking for them," she admitted in a whisper.

I sat quietly, feeling dazed, my thoughts incoherent. My hands were folded in my lap, and I was leaning weakly against the back of the seat. She still had her face in her hand, and she was as still as if she'd been carved from the stone her skin resembled.

Finally she looked up, her eyes seeking mine, full of her own questions.

"Are you ready to go home?" she asked.

"I'm ready to leave," I qualified, overly grateful that we had the hour-long ride home together. I wasn't ready to say goodbye to her.

The server appeared as if she'd been called. Or watching.

"How are we doing?" she asked Edyth.

"We're ready for the check, thank you." Her voice was quiet, rougher, still reflecting the strain of our conversation. It seemed to muddle her. Edyth looked up, waiting.

"S-sure," the server stuttered. "Here you go." She pulled a small leather folder from the front pocket of her black apron and handed it to her.

There was a bill in Edyth's hand already. She slipped it into the folder and handed it right back to the server.

"No change." Edyth smiled. Then she stood up, and I scrambled awkwardly to my feet.

The server smiled invitingly at her again. "You have a nice evening."

Edyth didn't look away from me as she thanked her. I suppressed a smile.

She walked close beside me to the door, still careful not to touch me. I remembered what Jeremy had said about his relationship with Makayla, how they were almost to the first-kiss stage. I sighed. Edyth seemed to hear me, and she looked down curiously. I looked at the sidewalk, grateful that she didn't seem to be able to know what I was thinking.

She opened the passenger door, holding it for me as I stepped in, shutting it softly behind me. I watched her walk around the front of the car, fascinated by how graceful she was. I probably should have been used to that by now— but I wasn't. I had a feeling Edyth wasn't the kind of person anyone got used to.

Once inside the car, she started the engine and turned the heater on high. It had gotten very cold, and I guessed the good weather was at an end. I was warm in her jacket, though, breathing in the scent of it.

Edyth pulled out through the traffic, apparently without a glance, flipping around to head toward the freeway.

"Now," she said significantly, "It's your turn."

 **so guys as you can see in this version Bella doesn't take any crap lol. Also in my version she will always be aware of the danger of being around Edyth as i thought that was stupid of her to ignore in the original. Also idk y but when i picture Edyth to me she looks like Emna Watson. wby guys who do you picture as Edyth. Anyway read review and ill have another 2 chapters up tomorrow :)**


	17. port Angles Edyth pov

It was too bright for me to drive into town when I got to Port Angeles; the sun was still too high overhead, and, though my windows were tinted dark, there was no reason take unnecessary risks.More unnecessary risks, I should say.

I was certain I would be able to find Jeremy's thoughts from a distance—Jeremy's thoughts were louder than Allen's, but once I found the first, I'd be able to hear the second. Then, when the shadows lengthened, I could get closer. For now, I pulled off the road onto an overgrown driveway just outside the town that appeared to be infrequently used.

I knew the general direction to search in—there was really only one place for tux shopping in Port Angeles. It wasn't long before I found Jeremy, spinning in front of a three-way mirror, and I could see Bella in his peripheral vision, appraising the black tux she wore.

Bella still looks pissed. Maybe I shouldn't of told her about Taylor. But at least she'd have someone to go with to Prom. That's not so bad, right? But I guess I see her point, I mean, Taylor is totally not into girls… probably. Maybe. God, I don't even know. Since when did girls get so complicated?

"I think I like the blue one better. It really brings out your eyes."Bella said.

Jeremy smiled at her mischievously.

"And the boys."Jeremy showed of his muscled body suggestively at Bella . I quickly tried to block out his thoughts and searched close by for Allen—ah, but Allen was in the process of changing tuxes, and I skipped quickly out of his head to give him some privacy.

Well, there wasn't much trouble Bella could get into in a department store. I'd let them shop and then catch up with them when they were done. It wouldn't be long until it was dark—the clouds were beginning to return, drifting in from the west. I could only catch glimpses of them though the thick trees, but I could see how they would hurry the sunset. I welcomed them, craved them more than I had ever yearned for their shadows before. Tomorrow I could sit beside Bella in school again, monopolizing her attention at lunch again. I could ask her all the questions I'd been saving up…

So, she was upset about Taylor's presumption. I'd seen in Taylor Crowley's head—that she'd meant it literally when she'd spoken of the prom, that she was staking a claim. I pictured Bella's expression from that other afternoon—the outraged disbelief—and I laughed. I wondered what she would say to Taylor about this. I wouldn't want to miss her reaction.

The time went slowly while I waited for the shadows to lengthen. I checked in periodically with Jeremy; his mental voice was the easiest to find, but I didn't like to linger there long—too much rambling. I saw the place they were planning to eat. It would be dark by dinner time… maybe I would coincidentally choose the same restaurant. I touched the phone in my pocket, thinking of inviting Alice out to eat… She would love that, but she would also want to talk to Bella. I wasn't sure if I was ready to have Bella more involved with my world. Wasn't one vampire trouble enough?

I checked in routinely with Jeremy again. He was thinking about his present to Makayla, asking Allen's opinion.

"Maybe I should take the necklace back. I've got one at home that would probably work to give her, and I spent more than I was supposed to…" My mom is going to freak out. What was I thinking? I should have asked Bella's opinion first.

"I don't mind going back to the store. Do you think Bella will be looking for us, though?"

What was this? Bella wasn't with them? I stared through Jeremy's eyes first, then switched to Allen's. They were on the sidewalk in front of a line of shops, just turning back the way. Bella was nowhere in sight.

Oh, I didn't think about that.Jeremy thought, worry tinging his thoughts."I think so. We'll get to the restaurant in plenty of time, even if we go back. And besides, I think Bella wanted to be alone… I want to make sure we give her her time, I mean she was so sweet to come with us and help us with our tuxes."I got a brief glimpse of the bookshop Jeremy thought Bella had gone to.

"You're right. Let's hurry, then."Allen said.I hope Bella doesn't think we ditched her. She was so nice to me in the car before… She's really a sweet person. But she's seemed kind of blue all day. I wonder if it's because of Edyth Cullen? I'll bet that was why she was asking about her family…

I should have been paying better attention. What all had I missed here? Bella was off wondering by herself, and she'd been asking about me before? Allen was paying attention to Jeremy now—Jeremy was babbling about that idiot Makayla—and I could get nothing more from them.

I judged the shadows. The sun would be behind the clouds soon enough. If I stayed on the west side of the road, where the buildings would shade the street from the fading light…

I started to feel anxious as I drove through the sparse traffic in the center of the town. This wasn't something I had considered—Bella taking off on her own—and I had no idea how to find her. I should have considered it.

I knew Port Angeles well; I drove straight to the bookstore in Jeremy's head, hoping my search would be short, but doubting it would be so easy. When did Bella ever make it easy?

Sure enough, the little shop was empty except for the anachronistically dressed woman behind the counter. This didn't look like the kind of place Bella would be interested in—too new age for a practical person. I wondered if she'd even bothered to go in?

There was a patch of shade I could park in… It made a dark pathway right up to the overhang of the shop. I really shouldn't. Wandering around in the sunlight hours was not safe. What if a passing car threw the sun's reflection into the shade at just the wrong moment?

But I didn't know how else to look for Bella!

I parked and got out, keeping to the deepest side of the shadow. I strode quickly into the store, noting the faint trace of Bella's scent in the air. She had been here, on the sidewalk, but there was no hint of her fragrance inside the shop.

"Welcome! Can I help—" the saleswoman began to say, but I was already out the door.

I followed Bella's scent as far as the shade would allow, stopping when I got to the far edge of the sunlight.

How powerless it made me feel—fenced in by the line between dark and light that stretched across the sidewalk in front of me. So limited.

I could only guess that she'd continued across the street, heading south. There wasn't really much in that direction. Was she lost? Well, that possibility didn't sound entirely out of character.

I got back in the car and drove slowly through the streets, looking for her. I stepped out into a few other patches of shadow, but I only caught her scent once more, and the direction of it confused me. Where was she trying to go?

I drove back and forth between the bookstore and the restaurant a few times, hoping to see her on her way. Jeremy and Allen were already there, trying to decide whether to order or wait for Bella. Jeremy was trying to figure out what Bella would like so they could maybe order for her.

I begin flitting through the minds of strangers, looking through their eyes. Surely, someone must have seen her somewhere.

I got more and more anxious the longer she remained missing. I hadn't considered before how difficult she might prove to find once, like now, she was out of my sight and off her normal paths. I didn't like it.

The clouds were massing on the horizon, and, in a few more minutes, I would be free to track her on foot. It wouldn't take me long then. It was only the sun that made me so helpless now. Just a few more minutes, and then the advantage would be mine again and it would be the human world that was powerless.

Another mind, and another. So many trivial thoughts.

…think the baby has another ear infection…

Was it six-four-oh or six-oh-four…?

Late again. I ought to tell him…

Here she comes! Aha!

There, at least, was Bella's face. Finally, someone had noticed her!

The relief lasted for only a fraction of a second, and then I read more fully the thoughts of the man who was gloating over her face in the shadows.

His mind was a stranger to me, and yet, not totally unfamiliar. I had once hunted exactly such minds.

"NO!" I roared, and a volley of snarls erupted from my throat. My foot shoved the gas pedal to the floor, but where was I going?

I knew the general location of his thoughts, but the knowledge was not specific enough. Something, there had to be something—a street sign, a store front, something in his sight that would give away his location. But Bella was deep shadow, and the man's eyes were focused on Bella's frightened expression—enjoying the fear there.

Bella's face was blurred in his mind by the memory of other faces. Young men and women, all wearing the same frightened expression. Bella was not this man's first victim.

The sound of my growls shook the frame of the car, but did not distract me.

There were no windows in the wall behind Bella. Somewhere industrial, away from the more populated shopping district. My car squealed around a corner, swerving past another vehicle, heading in what I hoped was the right direction. By the time the other driver honked, the sound was far behind me.

Look at her shaking!The man chuckled in anticipation. The fear was the draw for him—the part he enjoyed.

"Stay away from me."Bella's voice was low and steady, not a scream.

"Don't be like that."

He watched Bella flinch to a rowdy laugh that came from another direction. He was irritated with the noise—Shut up, Jeff!He thought—but he enjoyed the way Bella cringed. It excited him. He began to imagine Bella's pleas, the way she would beg…

I hadn't realized that there were others with the man until I'd heard the loud laughter. I scanned out from him, desperate for something to see. He was taking the first step in Bella's direction, flexing his hands.

The minds around him were not the cesspool that his was. They were all slightly intoxicated, not one of them realizing how far the man they called Lonnie planned to go with this. They were following Lonnie's lead blindly. He'd promised them a little fun…

One of them glanced down the street, nervous—he didn't want to get caught harassing the girl—and gave me what I needed. I recognized the cross street he stared toward.

I flew under a red light, sliding through a space just wide enough between two cars in the moving traffic. Horns blared behind me.

My phone vibrated in my pocket. I ignored it.

Lonnie moved slowly toward Bella, drawing out the suspense—the moment of terror that aroused him. He waited for Bella's scream, preparing to savor it.

But Bella locked her jaw and braced herself. Lonnie was surprised—he'd expected the girl to try to run. Surprised and slightly disappointed. He liked to chase his prey down, the adrenaline of the hunt.

Brave, this one. Maybe better, I guess… more fight in her.

I was a block away. The monster could hear the roar of my engine now, but he paid it no attention, too intent on his victim.

I would see how he enjoyed the hunt when he was the prey. I would see what he thought of my style of hunting.

In another compartment of my head, I was already sorting through the range of tortures I'd born witness to in my vigilante days, searching for the most painful of them. He would suffer for this. He would writhe in agony. The others would merely die for their part, but the monster named Lonnie would beg for death long before I would give him that gift.

He was in the road, crossing toward Bella.

I spun sharply around the corner, my headlights washing across the scene and freezing the rest of them in place. I could have run down the leader, who leapt out of the way, but that was too easy a death for him.

I let the car spin out, swinging all the way around so that I was facing back the way I'd come and the passenger door was closest to Bella. I threw that open, and she was already running toward the car.

"Get in," I snarled.

What the hell?

Knew this was a bad idea! Kid's not alone.

Should I run?

Think I'm going to throw up…

Bella jumped through the open door without hesitating, pulling it shut behind her.

And then she looked up at me with the most trustful expression I had ever seen on a human face, and all my violent plans crumbled.

It took much, much less than a second for me to see that I could not leave her in the car in order to deal with the four men in the street. What would I tell her, not to watch? Ha! When did she ever do what I asked? When did she ever do the safe thing?

Would I drag them away, out of her sight, and leave her alone here? It was a long shot that another dangerous human would be prowling the streets of Port Angeles tonight, but it was a long shot that there was even the first! Like a magnet, Bella drew all things dangerous toward herself. I could not let her out of my sight.

It would feel like part of the same motion to her as I accelerated, taking her away from her pursuers so quickly that they gaped after my car with uncomprehending expressions. She would not recognize my instant of hesitation. She would assume the plan was escape from the beginning.

I couldn't even hit the monster with my car. That would frighten Bella.

I wanted the man's death so savagely that the need for it rang in my ears and clouded my sight and was a flavor on my tongue. My muscles were coiled with the urgency, the craving, the necessity of it. I had to kill him. I would peel him slowly apart, piece by piece, skin from muscle, muscle from bone…

Except that the girl—the only girl in the world—was clinging to her seat with both hands, staring at me, her blue eyes still wide and utterly trusting. Vengeance would have to wait.

"Put on your seatbelt," I ordered. My voice was rough with the hate and bloodlust. Not the usual bloodlust. I would not sully myself by taking any part of that man inside me.

She locked the seatbelt into place, jumping slightly at the sound it made. That little sound made her jump, yet she did not flinch as I tore through the town, ignoring all traffic guides. I could feel her eyes on me. She seemed oddly relaxed. It didn't make sense to me—not with what she'd just been through.

"Are you okay?" she asked, her voice rough with stress and fear.

She wanted to know if I was okay?

I thought about her question for a fraction of a second. Not long enough for her to notice the hesitation.WasI okay?

"No," I realized, and my tone seethed with rage.

I took her to the same unused drive where I'd spent the afternoon engaged in the poorest surveillance ever kept. It was black now under the trees.

I was so furious that my body froze in place there, utterly motionless. My ice-locked hands ached to crush Bella's attacker, to grind him into pieces so mangled that his body could never be identified…

But that would entail leaving Bella here alone, unprotected in the dark night.

"Bella?" I asked through my teeth.

"Yes?" she responded huskily. She cleared her throat.

"Are you all right?" That was really the most important thing, the first priority. Retribution was secondary. I knew that, but my body was so filled with rage that it was hard to think.

"Yes." Her voice was still thick—with fear, no doubt.

And so I could not leave her.

Even if she wasn't at constant risk for some infuriating reason—some joke the universe was playing on me—even if I could be sure that she would be perfectly safe in my absence, I could not leave her alone in the dark.

She must be so frightened.

Yet I was in no condition to comfort her—even if I knew exactly how that was to be accomplished, which I did not. Surely she could feel the brutality radiating out of me, surely that much was obvious. I would frighten her even more if I could not calm the lust for slaughter boiling inside of me.

I needed to think about something else.

"Distract me, please," I pleaded.

"I'm sorry, what?"

I barely had enough control to try to explain what I needed.

"Please, just talk. Talk about anything you want until I calm down," I instructed, my jaw still locked. Only the fact that she needed me held me inside the car. I could hear the man's thoughts, his disappointment and anger… I knew where to find him… I closed my eyes, wishing that I couldn't see anyway…

"Um…" She hesitated—trying to make sense of my request, I imagined. "I'm going to run over Taylor Crowley tomorrow before school?"

Yes—this is what I needed. Of course Bella would come up with something unexpected. The threat of violence coming through her lips was so unexpectedly jarring it was almost comical. If I had not been burning with the urge to kill, I would have laughed.

"Why?" I barked out, to force her to speak again.

"She's telling everyone that she's taking me to prom," she said, her voice filled with frustration. "Either she's insane or she's still trying to make up for almost killing me last…well, you were there, you remember," she inserted dryly, "and she thinks taking me to prom is somehow the correct way to do this. So I figure if I endanger her life, then we're even, and she can't keep trying to make amends. I don't need enemies and maybe Lauren's brother, Logan, would back off if Taylor left me alone. I might have to total her Sentra, though," she went on, thoughtful now. "If she doesn't have a ride she can't take anyone to prom…"

It was encouraging to see that she sometimes got things wrong. Taylor's persistence had more to do with the accident. Bella didn't seem to understand the appeal she held for the human girls and boys at the high school. Did she not see the appeal she had for me, either?

Ah, it was working. The baffling processes of her mind were always engrossing. I was beginning to gain control of myself, to see something beyond vengeance and torture…

"I heard about that," I told her. She had stopped talking, and I needed her to continue.

"You did?" she asked incredulously. And then her voice was more frustrated than before. "If she's paralyzed from the neck down, she can't go to the prom either."

I wished there was some way I could ask her to continue with her delightfully deadpan comments. She couldn't have picked a better way to calm me. Her voice somehow managed to soothe me, even thick with frustration as it now was.

I sighed, and opened my eyes.

"Better?" she asked timidly.

"Not really."

I leaned my head back against the seat, staring at the ceiling of the car, willing my face to relax without much success.

No, I was calmer, but not better. Because I'd just realized that I could not kill the monster named Lonnie, and I still wanted that more than anything else in the world. Almost.

The only thing in this moment that I wanted more than to commit a highly justifiable murder, was this girl. And, though I couldn't have her, just the dream of having her made it impossible for me to go on a killing spree tonight—no matter how defensible such a thing might be.

Bella deserved better than a killer.

I'd spent eight decades trying to be something other than that—anything than a killer. Those years of effort could never make me worthy of the girl sitting beside me. And yet, I felt that if I returned to that life—the life of a killer—for even one night, I would surely put her out of my reach forever. Even if I didn't drink her attacker's blood—even if I didn't have that evidence blazing red in my eyes—wouldn't she sense the difference?

I was trying to be good enough for her. It was an impossible goal. I would keep trying.

"What's wrong?" she whispered.

Her breath filled my nose, and I was reminded why I could not deserve her. After all of this, even with as much as I loved her… she still made my mouth water.

I felt a new wave of self-loathing wash over me. I couldn't bring myself to speak, I didn't deserve to speak to her. I was a monster. I continued to stare at the ceiling, despising myself.

Suddenly, unexpectedly, I felt her warm hand rest gently on my arm. If my heart could beat, it might have exploded out of my chest. My eyes snapped to her face, she was looking down at my arm. When she looked up to face me, her expression was gentle and concerned.

"Edyth, what's wrong?" She asked again. Hearing my name, the way she said it, with such tenderness was like a soothing balm to the core of my very being.

I could not keep anything from her. I would give her as much honestly as I could. I owed her that.

"Sometimes I have a problem with my temper, Bella." I stared into the depths of her beautiful eyes, wishing both that she would hear the horror inherent in my words and also that she would not. Mostly that she would not.Run, Bella, run. Stay, Bella, stay."But it wouldn't be helpful for me to turn around and hunt down those…" Just thinking about it almost pulled me from the car. I took a deep breath, letting her scent scorch down my throat. "At least, that's what I'm trying to convince myself."

"No, it wouldn't," she said softly, soothingly.

"I shouldn't go back to those…" I struggled with the word, "Those thugs."

Even I was unsure if I had made a statement or asked a question. Perhaps it was somewhere in the middle.

"Um, no."

I took a deep burning breath, letting it out in a long, slow sigh.

Bella said nothing else. How much had she heard in my words? I glanced at her furtively, but her face was unreadable. Blank with shock, perhaps. Well, she wasn't screaming. Not yet.

It was quiet for a moment. I warred with myself, trying to be what I should be. What I couldn't be.

"Jeremy and Allen will be worried," she said quietly. Her voice was very calm, and I was not sure how that could be.Was she in shock? Maybe tonight's events hadn't sunk in for her yet. "I was supposed to meet them."

Did she want to be away from me? Or was she just worried about her friends' worry?

She slowly removed her hand from my arm. I tried not to think that meant she wanted to be away from me. I said nothing, but I started the car and took her back. Every inch closer I got to the town, the harder it was to hold on to my purpose. I was just so close to the monster…

If it was impossible—if I could never have nor deserve Bella—then where was the sense in letting the man go unpunished? Surely I could allow myself that much…

No. I wasn't giving up. Not yet. I wanted her too much to surrender.

We were at the restaurant where she was supposed to meet her friends before I'd even begun to make sense of my thoughts. Jeremy and Allen finished eating, and both now truly worried about Bella. They were on their way to search for her, heading off along the dark street.

"How did you know where…?" Bella's unfinished questioned interrupted me, and I realized that I had made yet another gaffe. I'd been too distracted to remember to ask her where she was supposed to meet her friends.

But instead of finishing the inquiry and pressing the point, she just shook her head and half-smiled.

What did that mean?

Well, I didn't have time to puzzle over her strange acceptance of my stranger knowledge. I opened my door.

"What are you doing?" she asked, sounding startled.

Not letting you out of my sight. Not allowing myself to be alone tonight. In that order."I'm taking you to dinner."

Well this should be interesting. It seemed like another night entirely when I'd imagined bringing Alice along and pretending to choose the same restaurant as Bella and her friends by accident. And now, here I was, practically on a date with the girl. Only it didn't count, because I wasn't even giving her a chance to say no.

She already had her door half open before I'd walked around the car—it wasn't usually so frustrating to have to move at an inconspicuous speed—instead of waiting for me to get it for her. Was this because she wasn't used to being treated so well, or because she didn't think of me as a nice person?

I waited for her to join me, getting more anxious as her friends continued in toward the dark corner.

"Go stop Jeremy and Allen before I have to track them down, too," I ordered quickly. "I don't think I could restrain myself if I ran into your other friends again." No, I would not be strong enough for that.

She shuddered, and then quickly collected herself. She took a half step after them, calling, "Jeremy! Allen!" in a loud voice. They turned, and she waved her arm over her head to catch their attention.

Bella! Oh, she's safe! Allen thought with relief.

Oh, my god, I'm going to kick her butt for scaring me like that. Jeremy grumbled to himself with acute relief that Bella wasn't lost or hurt. That made me like him a little more than I had.

They hurried back, and then stopped, shocked, when they saw me beside her.

Oh. My. God.Jeremy thought, stunned.No freaking way!

Edyth Cullen? Did Bella go away by herself to find her? But why would she ask about them being out of town if she knew she was here…I got a brief flash of Bella's mortified expression when she'd asked Allen if my family was often absent from school.No, she couldn't have known, Allen decided.

Jeremy's thoughts were moving past the surprise and on to excitement.Bella's been holding out on me.

"Where have you been?" He demanded, staring at Bella, his voice full of concern.

"I got lost. And then I ran into Edyth," Bella said, waving one hand toward me. Her tone was remarkably normal. Like that was truly all that had happened.

She must be in shock. That was the only explanation for her calm.

"Would it be all right if I joined you?" I asked—to be polite; I knew that they'd already eaten.

Holy crap but she's hot! Jeremy thought, his head suddenly slightly incoherent.

Allen wasn't much more composed.Wish we hadn't eaten. Wow. Just. Wow.

Now why couldn't I do that to Bella?

"Er… Sure," Jeremy agreed.

Allen frowned. "Um, actually, Bella, we already ate while we were waiting," he admitted. "I'm sorry."

What? Shut up! Jeremy complained internally.

Bella shrugged casually. So at ease. Definitely in shock. "That's fine—I'm not hungry."

"I think you should eat something," I disagreed. She needed sugar in her bloodstream—though it smelled sweet enough as it was, I thought wryly. The horror was going to come crashing down on her momentarily, and an empty stomach wouldn't help. She was an easy fainter, as I knew from experience.

These boys wouldn't be in any danger if they went straight home. Danger didn't stalk their every step.

And I'd rather be alone with Bella—as long as she was willing to be alone with me.

"Do you mind if I drive Bella home tonight?" I said to Jeremy before Bella could respond. "That way you won't have to wait while she eats."

"Oh, wow, that's… so thoughtful." Jeremy bit his lip, trying to read Bella's face, looking for some sign that this was what she wanted.

Ooh, I bet Bella wants to be alone with her. I mean, who wouldn't? Jeremy thought. At the same time, he watched Bella wink.

Bella winked.

"Okay," Allen said quickly, in a hurry to be out of the way if that was what Bella wanted. And it seemed that she did want that. "See you tomorrow, Bella… Edyth." He struggled to say my name in a casual tone. Then he grabbed Jeremy's hand and began towing him away.

I would have to find a way to thank Allen for this.

Jeremy's car was close by and in a bright circle of light cast by a streetlamp. Bella watched them carefully, a little crease of concern between her eyes, until they were in the car, so she must be fully aware of the danger she'd been in. Jeremy waved as he drove away, and Bella waved back. It wasn't until the car disappeared that she took a deep breath and turned to look up at me.

"Honestly, I'm not hungry," she said.

Why had she waited for them to be gone before speaking? Did she truly want to be alone with me—even now, after witnessing my homicidal rage?

Whether that was the case or not, she was going to eat something.

"Humor me," I said.

I held the restaurant door open for her and waited.

She sighed, and walked through.

I walked beside her to the podium where the host waited. Bella still seemed entirely self-possessed. I wanted to touch her hand, her forehead, to check her temperature. But my cold hand would repulse her, as it had before.

Oh, my, the host's rather loud mental voice intruded into my consciousness.My, oh my.

It seemed to be my night to turn heads. Or was I only noticing it more because I wished so much that Bella would see me this way? We were always attractive to our prey. I'd never thought so much about it before. Usually—unless, as with people like Shelly Cope and Jeremy Stanley, there was constant repetition to dull the horror—the fear kicked in fairly quickly after the initial reaction…

"A table for two?" I prompted when the host didn't speak.

"Oh, er, yes. Welcome to La Bella Italia."Mmm! What a voice!"Please follow me." His thoughts were preoccupied—calculating.

Maybe they're cousins. They couldn't be sisters, they don't look anything alike. But family definitely. They can't be here on a date.

Human eyes were clouded; they saw nothing clearly. How could this small-minded man find my physical lures—snares for prey—so attractive, and yet be unable to see the soft perfection of the girl beside me?

Well, no need to help her out, just in case, the host thought as he led us to a family-sized table in the middle of the most crowded part of the restaurant.Can I give her my number while she's there…?He mused.

I pulled a bill from my back pocket. People were invariably more cooperative when money was involved.

Bella was already taking the seat the host indicated without objection. I shook my head at her, and she hesitated, cocking her head to one side with curiosity. Yes, she would be very curious tonight. A crowd was not the ideal place for this conversation.

"Perhaps something more private?" I requested of the host, handing him the money. His eyes widened in surprise, and then narrowed while his hand curled around the tip.

"Sure."

He peeked at the bill while he led us around a dividing wall.

Fifty dollars for a better table? Rich, too. That makes sense—I bet her jacket cost more than my last paycheck. Damn. Why are all the good ones into girls?

He offered us a booth in a quiet corner of the restaurant where no one would be able to see us—to see Bella's reactions to whatever I would tell her. I had no clue as to what she would want from me tonight. Or what I would give her.

How much had she guessed? What explanation of tonight's events had she told herself?

"How's this?" the host asked.

"Perfect," I told him and, feeling slightly annoyed by his resentful attitude toward Bella, I smiled widely at him, baring my teeth. Let him see me clearly.

Whoa."Um… your server will be right out."She can't be real. I must be asleep. Damn. I've got to tell Amber about her. If I'm not her type, maybe Amber'll get lucky…He wandered away, listing slightly to the side.

Odd. She still wasn't frightened. I suddenly remembered Emmett teasing me in the cafeteria, so many weeks ago.I'll bet I could have scared her better than that.

Was I losing my edge?

"You really shouldn't do that to people," Bella interrupted my thoughts in a disapproving tone. "It's hardly fair."

I stared at her critical expression. What does she mean? I hadn't frightened the host at all, despite my intentions. "Do what?"

"Dazzle them like that—he's probably hyperventilating in the kitchen right now."

Hmm. Bella was very nearly right. The host was only semi-coherent at the moment, describing his incorrect assessment of me to his friend on the wait staff.

"Oh, come on," Bella chided me when I didn't answer immediately. "Youhaveto know the effect you have on people."

"I dazzle people?" That was an interesting way of phrasing it. Accurate enough for tonight. I wondered why the difference…

"You know you do," she said, still critical. "So I don't know why you're acting surprised."

I grinned at her tone.

"Do I dazzleyou?" I voiced my curiosity impulsively, and then the words were out, and it was too late to recall them.

But before I had time to too deeply regret speaking the words aloud she answered, "Maybe." And her cheeks took on a faint pink glow.

My silent heart swelled with a hope more intense than I could ever remember having felt before.

"Hello," someone said, the server, introducing herself. Her thoughts were loud, and more explicit than the host, but I tuned her out. I stared at Bella's face instead of listening, watching the blood spreading under her skin, noticing not how that made my throat flame, but rather how it brightened her fair face, how it set off the cream of her skin…

The server was waiting for something from me. Ah, she'd asked for our drink order. I continued to stare at Bella, and the server grudgingly turned to look at her, too.

"I'll have a coke?" Bella said, as if asking for approval.

"Two cokes," I amended. Thirst—normal, human thirst—was a sign of shock. I would make sure she had the extra sugar from the soda in her system.

She looked healthy, though. More than healthy. She looked radiant.

"What?" She asked—wondering why I was staring, I guessed. I was vaguely aware that the server had left.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

She blinked, surprised by my question. "I'm fine."

"You don't feel dizzy, sick, cold…?"

She was even more confused now. "Should I?"

"Well, I'm actually waiting for you to go into shock." I half-smiled, expecting her denial. She would not want to be taken care of.

It took her a minute to answer me. Her eyes were slightly unfocused. She looked that way sometimes, when I smiled at her. Was she… dazzled?

I would love to believe that.

"I don't think that will happen. I've always been very good at repressing things," she answered, a little breathless.

Did she have a lot of practice repressing things, then? Was her life always this hazardous?

"Just the same," I told her. "I'll feel better when you have some sugar and food in you."

The server returned with the cokes and a basket of bread. She put them in front of me, and asked for my order, trying to catch my eye in the process. I indicated that she should attend to Bella, and then went back to tuning her out. She had a vulgar mind.

"Um…" Bella glanced quickly at the menu. "I'll have the mushroom ravioli."

The server turned back to me eagerly. "And you?"

"Nothing for me."

Bella made a slight face. Hmm. She must have noticed that I never ate food. She noticed everything. And I always forgot to be careful around her.

I waited till we were alone again.

"You should drink," I insisted.

I was surprised when she complied immediately and without objection. She drank until the glass was entirely empty, so I pushed the second coke toward her, frowning a little. Thirst, or shock?

"No, I'm fine." She shook her head slightly.

"I'mnot going to drink it," I said, fighting a smile

"Right," she said, because she knew I wouldn't drink it. She saw too much. "Thank you," she breathed after downing the entire glass. She shuddered once.

"Are you cold?"

"It's just the coke," she said, but she shivered again, her lips trembling slightly as if her teeth were about to chatter.

The deep blue shirt she wore looked too thin to protect her adequately; it clung to her like a second skin, almost as fragile as the first. The deep V-cut of the collar exposing her ivory chest… I refocused my thoughts. "Don't you have a jacket?"

"Yes." She looked around herself, a little perplexed. "Oh—I left it in Jeremy's car."

I pulled off my jacket, wishing that the gesture was not marred by my body temperature. It would have been nice to have been able to offer her a warm coat. She stared at me, her cheeks warming again. What was she thinking now?

I handed her the jacket across the table, and she put it on at once, and then shuddered again.

Yes, it would be very nice to be warm.

"Thank you," she said. She took a deep breath, and then pushed the too-long sleeves back to free her hands. She took another deep breath.

Was the evening finally settling in? Her color was still good; her skin was cream and roses against the deep blue of her shirt. My eyes wandered down her jaw, following the line of her neck, along her collarbone, and down her lean chest…

"That color blue looks wonderful with your skin," I complimented her. Just being honest.

She flushed, enhancing the effect.

She looked well, but there was no point in taking chances. I pushed the basket of bread toward her.

"Really," she objected, guessing my motives. "I'm not going into shock."

"Humor me?" I smiled at her.

She rolled her eyes, picking up a breadstick.

I laughed. "Good girl."

"Don't push your luck," She narrowed her eyes at me.

"I don't know how you can be so blasé about this. You should be upset—anyone else would be. You don't even look shaken." I stared at her, disapproving, wondering why she couldn't be normal and then wondering if I really wanted her to be that way.

"I feel safe with you," she said, her eyes, again, filled with trust. Trust I didn't deserve.

Her instincts were all wrong—backwards. That must be the problem. She didn't recognize the danger the way a human being should be able to. She had the opposite reaction. Instead of running, she lingered, drawn to what should frighten her…

How could I protect her from myself whenneitherof us wanted that?

"This is more complicated than I'd planned," I murmured.

I could see her turning my words over in her head, and I wondered what she made of them. She took a bit out of the breadstick without seeming fully aware of the action. She chewed for a moment, and then leaned her head to one side thoughtfully.

"Usually you're in a better mood when your eyes are so light," she said in a casual tone.

Her observation, stated so matter of factually, left me reeling. "What?"

"You're always crabbier when your eyes are black—I expect it then. I have a theory about that."

So she had come up with her own explanation. Of course she had. I felt a deep sense of dread as I wondered how close she'd come to the truth.

"More theories?"

"Mm-hm." She chewed on another bite, entirely nonchalant. As if she weren't discussing the aspects of a monster with the monster herself.

"I hope you were more creative this time…" I lied when she didn't continue. What I really hoped was that she waswrong—miles wide off the mark. "Or are you still stealing from comic books?"

"Well, no, I didn't get it from a comic book," she said, a little embarrassed. "but I didn't come up with it on my own, either."

"And?" I asked between my teeth.

Surely she would not speak so calmly if she were about to scream.

As she hesitated, biting her lip, the server reappeared with Bella's food. I paid the server little attention as she set the plate in front of Bella and then asked if I wanted anything.

I declined, but asked for more coke. The server hadn't noticed the empty glasses. She took them and left.

"You were saying?" I prompted anxiously as soon as we were alone again.

"I'll tell you about it in the car," she said in a low voice. Ah, this would be bad. She wasn't willing to speak her guesses around others. "If…" she tacked on suddenly.

"There are conditions?" I was so tense I wasn't sure how my tone sounded.

"I do have a few questions, of course."

"Of course," I agreed, my voice hard.

Her questions would probably be enough to tell me where her thoughts were heading. But how would I answer them? With responsible lies? Or would I drive her away with the truth? Or would I say nothing, unable to decide?

We sat in silence while the server replenished her supply of soda.

"Well, go ahead," I said, jaw locked, when the server was gone.

"Why are you in Port Angeles?"

That was too easy a question—for her. It gave nothing away, while my answer, if truthful, would give away too much. Let her reveal something first.

"Next," I said.

"But that's the easiest one!"

"Next," I said again.

She was frustrated by my refusal. She rolled her eyes, and looked away from me. She unrolled her silverware and picked up her fork, looking down at her food. Slowly, thinking hard, she took a bite and chewed with deliberation. She washed it down with more coke, and then finally looked up at me. Her eyes were narrow with suspicion.

"Okay, then," she said. "Let's say, hypothetically, of course, that… someone… could know what people are thinking, read minds, you know—with just a few exceptions."

It could be worse.

This explained that little half-smile in the car. She was quick—no one else had ever guessed this about me. Except for Carlisle, and it had been rather obvious then, in the beginning, when I'd answered all his thoughts as if he'd spoken them to me. He'd understood before I had…

This question wasn't so bad. While it was clear that she knew that there was something wrong with me, was not as serious as it could have been. Mind-reading was, after all, not a facet of the vampire cannon. I went along with her hypothesis.

"Justoneexception," I corrected. "Hypothetically."

She fought a smile—my vague honestly pleased her. "All right, with one exception, then. How does that work? What are the limitations? How would… that someone… find someone else at exactly the right time? How would she know that she was in trouble?"

"Hypothetically?"

"Sure." Her lips twitched, and her liquid blue eyes were eager.

"Well," I hesitated. "If… that someone…"

"Let's call her 'Jane,'" she suggested, a wry smile on her lips.

I had to smile at her enthusiasm. Did she really think the truth would be a good thing? If my secrets were pleasant, why would I keep them from her?

"Jane, then," I agreed. "If Jane had been paying attention, the timing wouldn't have needed to be quite so exact." I shook my head and repressed a shudder at the thought of how close I had been to being too late today. Even then, I had to roll my eyes at the situation. "Only you could get into trouble in a town this small. You would have devastated their crime rate statistics for a decade, you know."

"I don't see how this is my fault." Her voice was sharply disapproving. Her lips turned down at the corners.

I examined her face, frustrated that I had upset her. "I don't either." I admitted. "But I don't know who to blame." Who could I blame for her extraordinary bad luck?

"Don't blame me then, I don't appreciate it." She said, pointedly.

Her lips, her skin… they looked so soft. I wanted to touch them. I wanted to press my fingertip against the corner of her frown and turn it up. Impossible. My skin would be repellent to her.

"My apologies." I said softly. I regretted upsetting her.

She leaned across the table toward me, all irritation suddenly gone from her wide eyes.

"How did you know?" she asked, her voice low and intense.

Should I tell her the truth? And, if so, what portion?

I wanted to tell her. I wanted to deserve the trust I could still see on her face.

"You can trust me, you know," she whispered, and she reached one hand forward as if to touch my hands where they rested on top of the empty table before me.

A part of me craved her touch, but I still pulled them back—hating the thought of her reaction to my frigid stone skin—and she pulled her own hand back.

"Iwantto trust you." My voice was low, soft. "But that doesn't mean I should."

I knew that I could trust her with protecting my secrets; she was entirely trustworthy, good to the core. But I couldn't trust her not to be horrified by them. Sheshould be horrified. The truthwashorror.

"Please?" Her voice was gentle and soothing again.

I read her eyes; though her mind was silent, I could perceive both trust and wonder there. I realized in that moment that Iwantedto answer her questions. Not because I owed it to her. Not because I wanted her to trust me.

I wanted her toknowme.

"I followed you to Port Angeles," I told her, the words spilling out too quickly for me to edit them. I knew the danger of the truth, the risk I was taking. At any moment, her unnatural calm could shatter into hysterics. Contrarily, knowing this only had me talking faster. "I've never tried to keep a specific person alive before, and it's much more troublesome than I would have believed. But that's probably just because you are a magnet for trouble."

I watched her, waiting.

She smiled. Her lips curved up at the edges, and her blue eyes warmed.

I'd just admitted to stalking her, and she was smiling.

"A runaway van and a group of drunk thugs hardly makes me a magnet for trouble." She countered. I didn't know what to say so I remained silent. She seemed to reflect for moment before speaking again. She examined my face carefully, and her own turned serious again.

"You put yourself into that category, then? Of trouble?" she asked, softly.

Honestly was more important in regard to this question than any other. "Unequivocally."

Her eyes narrowed slightly—not suspicious now, but oddly concerned. She reached her hand across the table again, slowly and deliberately. I pulled my hands an inch away from her, but she ignored that, determined to touch me. I held my breath—not because of her scent now, but because of the sudden overwhelming tension. Fear. My skin would disgust her. She would run away.

She brushed her fingertips lightly across the back of my hand. The heat of her gentle, willing touch was like nothing I'd ever felt before. It was almost pure pleasure.

A half-smile turned up the corners of her lips.

"Thank you," she said, meeting my stare with an intense gaze of her own. "That's twice now."

Her soft fingers lingered on my hand as if they found it pleasant to be there.

I answered as casually as I was able. "Let's not try for three, agreed?"

She narrowed her eyes, but she was still smiling.

"Did you ever think that maybe my number was up the first time, with the van, and that you've been interfering with fate?" she asked.

I felt my body tense.

"Edyth?"

"That wasn't the first time," I said, staring down at the dark maroon table cloth, my shoulders bowed in shame. My barriers were down, the truth spilling free recklessly, like her touch somehow had some power over me to compel the truth out me. "Your number was up the first time I met you."

It was true, and it angered me. I had been positioned over her life like the blade of a guillotine. It was as if she had been marked for death by some cruel, unjust fate, and, since I'd proved an unwilling tool—that same fate continued to try to execute her. I imagined the fate personified—a grisly, jealous hag, a vengeful harpy.

I wanted something, someone, to be responsible for this—so that I would have something concrete to fight against. Something, anything to destroy, so that Bella could be safe.

Bella was very quiet; her breathing accelerated.

I looked up at her, knowing I would finally see the fear I was waiting for. Had I not just admitted to how close I'd been to killing her? Closer than the van that had come within slim inches of crushing her. And yet, her face was still calm, her eyes still tightened only with concern, and her warm hand still lingered on my own.

"You remember?" She had to remember that. "You understand?"

"Yes," she said, her voice level and grave. Her deep eyes were full of awareness.

She knew. She knew that I had wanted to murder her.

Where were the screams?

"You can leave, you know," the words were like knives. It was the exact opposite of what I wanted, and yet, I had to be strong enough to allow her this chance to escape me. "You could take my car and drive home."

I waited while she considered my offer. I wanted her to run. I wanted her to escape me, to be safe from me. And yet, I knew if she did leave it would destroy me. I wanted her to stay. I wanted her to love me.

"I don't want to leave."

My emotions warred with each other. My elation at her choosing to stay, choosing to stay withme, and yet the keen frustration that she would so willingly put herself in danger.

Hopelessly, I pushed one more time at the barrier that protected her thoughts, desperate to understand. It made no logical sense to me. How could she even care about the rest with that glaring truth on the table.

"How can you say that?" I felt helpless, having to voice my question out loud.

She didn't answer, she simply sat and watched me. Then her hand squeezed mine. I felt a thrill of fear that she would be repulsed this time. My hand was unyielding stone under hers… and yet, she didn't so much as flinch. Her hand stayed wrapped around mine. Her eyes continued to watch my face. She wanted to stay. She would stay with me.

I didn't know what to think of any of it. I used to be so sure of everything. I used to know what I was doing. I used to be always so sure of my course. And now everything was chaos and tumult.

Yet, I wouldn't trade it. I didn't want the life that made sense. Not if the chaos meant that I could be with Bella.

"You didn't finish answering my question," she said suddenly, pulling me from my reverie. "How did you find me?"

She waited, only curious. Her skin was pale, which was natural for her, but it still concerned me. Her dinner sat nearly untouched in front of her. If I continued to tell her too much, she was going to need a buffer when the shock wore off.

I named my terms. "You eat, I'll talk."

She processed that for half a second, and then slowly removed her hand from mine. I ached for the exquisiteness of her touch almost as soon as her hands had left. She picked up her fork and threw a bite of food into her mouth with a speed that belied her calm and popped it in her mouth.

"It's harder than it should be—keeping track of you," I told her. "Usually I can find someone very easily, once I've heard their mind before."

I watched her face carefully as I said this. Guessing right was one thing, having it confirmed was another.

She was motionless, her eyes wide. I felt my teeth clench together as I waited for her panic.

But she just blinked once, swallowed loudly, and then quickly scooped another bite into her mouth. She wanted me to continue.

"I was keeping tabs on Jeremy, not carefully—I honestly didn't think you'd find trouble in Port Angeles—" I couldn't resist adding that. Did she realize that other human lives were not so plagued with near death experiences, or did she think she was normal? She was the furthest thing from normal I'd ever encountered.

"And at first I didn't notice when you took off on your own. Then, when I realized that you weren't with him anymore, I went looking for you at the bookstore I saw in his head. I could tell that you hadn't gone in, and that you'd gone south… and I knew you would have to turn around soon. So I was just waiting for you, randomly searching through the thoughts of people on the street— to see if anyone had noticed you so I would know where you were. I had no reason to be worried… but I was strangely anxious.…" My breath came faster as I remembered that feeling of panic. Her scent blazed in my throat and I was glad. It was a pain that meant she was alive. As long as I burned, she was safe.

"I started to drive in circles, still… listening. The sun was finally setting, and I was about to get out and follow you on foot. And then—"

As the memory took me—perfectly clear and vivid as if I was in the moment again—I felt the same murderous fury wash through my body, locking it into ice.

I wanted that monster, Lonnie, dead. I needed him dead. My jaw clenched tight as I concentrated on holding myself here at the table. Bella still needed me. That was what mattered.

"Then what?" she whispered, her blue eyes wide.

"I heard whattheywere thinking," I said through my teeth, unable to keep the words from coming out in a growl. "I saw your face in his mind."

I could hardly resist the urge to kill. I still knew precisely where to find him. His black thoughts sucked at the night sky, pulling me toward them…

I covered my face, knowing my expression was that of a monster, a hunter, a killer. I fixed her image behind my closed eyes to control myself, focusing only on her face. The delicate framework of her bones, the thin sheath of her pale skin—like silk stretched over glass, incredibly soft and easy to shatter. She was too vulnerable for this world. Sheneededa protector. And, through some twisted mismanagement of destiny, I was the closet thing available.

I tried to explain my violent reaction so that she would understand.

"It was very… hard—you can't imagine how hard—for me to simply take you away, and leave them… alive," I whispered. "I could have let you go with Jeremy and Allen, but I was afraid if you left me alone, I would go looking for them."

For the second time tonight, I confessed to murder. At least this one was defensible.

She was quiet as I struggled to control myself. I listened to her heartbeat. The rhythm was irregular, but it slowed as the time passed until it was steady again. Her breathing, too, was low and even.

I was too close to the edge. I needed to get her home before…

Would I kill that low-life, then? Would I become a murderer again when Bella trusted me? Was there any way to stop myself?

She'd promised to tell me her latest theory when we were alone. Did I want to hear it? I was anxious for it, but would the reward for my curiosity be worse than not knowing?

At any rate, she must have had enough truth for one night.

I looked at her again, and her face was paler than before, but composed.

"Are you ready to go home?" I asked.

"I'm ready to leave," she said, choosing her words carefully, as if a simple 'yes' did not fully express what she wanted to say.

Frustrating.

The server returned. She'd heard Bella's last statement as she'd dithered on the other side of the partition, wondering what more she could offer me. I wanted to roll my eyes at some of the offerings she had in mind.

"How are we doing?" she asked me.

"We're ready for the check, thank you," I told her, my eyes on Bella.

The server's breathing spiked and she was momentarily—to use Bella's phrasing—dazzled by my voice.

In a sudden moment of perception, hearing the way my voice sounded in this inconsequential human's head, I realized why I seemed to be attracting so much admiration tonight—unmarred by the usual fear.

It was because of Bella. Trying so hard to be safe for her, to be less frightening, to behuman, I truly had lost my edge. The other humans only saw beauty now, with my innate horror so carefully under control.

I looked up at the server, waiting for her to recover herself. It was sort of humorous, now that I understood the reason.

"S-sure," she stuttered. "Here you go."

She handed me the folder with the bill, thinking of the card she'd slid in behind the receipt. A card with her name and phone number on it.

Yes, it was rather funny.

I had money ready again. I gave the folder back at once, so she wouldn't waste any time waiting for a call that would never come.

"No change," I told her, hoping the size of the tip would assuage her disappointment.

I stood, and Bella quickly followed suit. I wanted to offer her my hand, but I thought that might be pushing my luck a little too far for one night. I thanked the server, my eyes never leaving Bella's face. Bella seemed to be finding something amusing, too.

We walked out; I walked as close beside her as I dared. Close enough that the warmth coming off her body was like a physical touch against the left side of my body. As I held the door open for her, she sighed quietly, and I wondered what regret made her sad. I stared into her eyes, about to ask, when she suddenly looked at the ground, seeming embarrassed. It made me more curious, even as it made me reluctant to ask. The silence between us continued while I opened the door for her and then got into the car.

I turned the heater on—the warmer weather had come to an abrupt end; the cold car must be uncomfortable for her. She huddled in my jacket, a small smile on her lips.

I waited postponing conversation until the lights of the boardwalk faded. It made me feel more alone with her.

Was that the right thing? Now that I was focused only on her, the car seemed very small. Her scent swirled through it with the current of the heater, building and strengthening. It grew into its own force, like another entity in the car. A presence that demanded recognition.

It had that; I burned. The burning was acceptable, though. It seemed strangely appropriate to me. I had been given so much tonight—more than I'd expected. And here she was, still willingly at my side. I owed something in return for that. A sacrifice. A burnt offering.

Now if I could just keep it to that; just burn, and nothing more. But the venom filled my mouth, and my muscles tensed in anticipation, as if I were hunting…

I had to keep such thoughts from my mind. And I knew that would distract me.

"Now," I said to her, fear of her response taking the edge off the burn. "It's your turn."

 **ok guys thank you so much for the reviews and i promise im not copy and pasting im just typing on a computer. but i feel i should explain myself the first book isn't going to be that different new moon is when things will start to get a dit different i mean itll be the same just with alot more added. and as i said midnight sun is only 12 chapters and after that the Edyth povs will be mine intirely. in eclipse a certain plot point will be cut out and one characters back story will be different. so i hope you guys can be patient with me :)**


	18. theory Bella pov

Can I ask just one more?" I asked as Edyth accelerated much too quickly down the quiet street.

She sighed.

"One," she agreed. Her lips pressed together into a cautious line.

"Well… you said you knew I hadn't gone into the bookstore, and that I had gone south. I was just wondering how you knew that."

She looked away, deliberately.

"Really? I thought we were past all the evasiveness," I said, scolding.

She almost smiled.

"Fine, then. I followed your scent." She stared ahead at the road.

I didn't have a response to that, but I filed it away for future study. I tried to refocus. I wasn't ready to let her be finished, now that she was finally explaining things.

"And then you didn't answer one of my first questions…" I stalled.

She looked at me with disapproval. "Which one?"

"How does it work—the mind-reading thing? Can you read anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it? Can the rest of your family do the same thing?"

It was easier to talk about this in the dark car. The streetlights were behind us already, and in the low gleam from the dashboard, all the crazy stuff seemed just a little more possible.

It seemed like she felt the same sense of non-reality, like normality was suspended for as long as we were in this space together. Her voice was casual as she answered.

"That's more than one question," she pointed out. I simply intertwined my fingers and gazed at her, waiting.

"No, it's just me. And I can't hear anyone, anywhere. They have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's… 'voice' is, the farther away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." She paused thoughtfully. "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum—a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear."

"Most of the time," she continued, "I tune it all out—it can be very distracting. And then it's easier to seem normal"—She frowned as she said the word—"when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thought rather than their words."

"Why do you think you can't hear me?" I asked curiously.

She looked at me, her eyes enigmatic, searching, and full of that frustration I knew so well by now. I realized now that each time she'd looked at me this way, she must have been trying to hear my thoughts, and failing. Her expression relaxed as she gave up.

"I don't know," she murmured. "The only guess I have is that perhaps your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM." She grinned at me, suddenly amused.

"Did you just suggest my mind doesn't work right? Like I'm a freak?" I'd always felt like someone who marched to a different beat, as they say. But the thought of being so different bothered me for some reason.

"I hear voices in my mind and you're worried thatyou're the freak," she laughed. "Don't worry, it's just a theory…" Her face tightened. "Which brings us back to you."

I sighed. I didn't even know how to begin.

"Aren't we past all evasions now?" she reminded me softly.

I looked away from her face for the first time, trying to find words. I happened to glance at the speedometer.

"Holy crow!" I shouted, "Slow down!"

"What's wrong?" She was startled, but she didn't slow down any.

"You're pushing a hundred and ten miles an hour!" I was still shouting. I shot a panicky glance out the window, but it was too dark to see much. The road was only visible in the long patch of bluish brightness from the headlights. The forest along both sides of the road was like a black wall—as hard as a wall of steel if we veered off the road at this speed.

"Relax, Bella." She rolled her eyes, still not slowing.

"Are you trying to kill us?" I demanded.

"We're not going to crash."

I tried to modulate my voice. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

"I always drive like this." She turned to smile crookedly at me.

"Keep your eyes on the road, Edyth!"

"I've never had an accident, Bella—I've never even gotten a ticket." She grinned and tapped her forehead. "Built-in radar detector."

"Very funny." I glared. "Charlie's a cop, remember? I was raised to abide by traffic laws. Besides, if you turn us into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk, you can probably just walk away."

"Probably," she agreed with a short, hard laugh. "But you can't." She sighed, and I watched with relief as the needle gradually drifted toward eighty. "Happy?"

"Good girl." I smirked.

She glared at me through narrowed eyes for a moment, but I could tell she was trying not to smile.

After a moment, she let out a frustrated sigh. "I hate driving slow."

"This is slow?"

"Enough commentary on my driving," she snapped. I stifled a laugh.

"I'm still waiting for your latest theory." She said, seriously.

I bit my lip. She looked down at me, her honey eyes unexpectedly gentle.

"I won't laugh," she promised.

"I'm not worried about that."

"Then what?"

"I'm worried that you'll be… upset."

She sat, silently, for a moment, and then glanced sideways at me. She lifted her hand off the gearshift and held it out toward me—just a few centimeters. An offer. I glanced up quickly, confused. Her eyes were soft.

"Don't worry about me," she said. "I can handle it."

I tentatively took her hand, and she curled her fingers very lightly around mine for one short moment, then dropped her hand back to the gearshift. Carefully, I placed my hand over the top of hers again. I ran my thumb along the outside of her large, strong hand, tracing from her wrist to the tip of her pinkie finger. The dissonance was disquieting. Her hand was hard as stone or marble, but her skin was soft like the smoothest satin and cold as ice. It reminded me that, even though my theory was insane, Edyth wasn't human.

"The suspense is killing me, Bella," she breathed out the words. I could see her eyes watching my hand.

"I don't know how to start," I admitted.

"Why don't you start at the beginning… you said you didn't come up with this on your own."

"No."

"What got you started—a book? A film?" she probed.

"No—it was Saturday, at the beach." I glanced up at her face. She looked puzzled.

"I ran into an old family friend—Julie Black," I continued. "Her dad and Charlie have been friends since I was a baby."

She still looked confused.

"Her dad is one of the Quileute elders." I watched her carefully. Her confused expression frozen in place. "We went for a walk on the beach together," I noted a change in Edyth's expression but couldn't identify it, "and she was telling me some old legends—trying to scare me, I guess. She told me one…" I hesitated.

"Go on," she pushed.

"About vampires." I realized I was whispering. I couldn't look at her face now. But I saw her knuckles tighten convulsively on the wheel. I could feel her hand tense under mine on the gearshift and I thought about taking my hand away. But I left my hand and continued to gently trace the lines of her hand. Her grip slowly softened on the steering wheel simultaneous to her hand relaxing beneath mine.

"And… you immediately thought of me?" Her voice was calm.

"No. She mentioned your family."

She was silent, staring at the road.

I was worried suddenly, worried about protecting sweet Julie.

"She just thought it was a silly folk-tale," I said quickly. "She didn't expect me to think anything of it." I felt guilty, "It was my fault, I convinced her to tell me."

"Why?"

"Logan said something about you—he was trying to provoke me. And an older boy from the tribe said your family didn't come to the reservation, only it sounded like he meant something different. So, when Julie and I went off alone I asked her." I admitted quietly.

"You must have said something to convince her to tell you." Edyth said.

I was confused, "No… I just… asked her?"

She startled me by laughing. I stared up at her. She was laughing, but her eyes were fierce, staring ahead. Her cold hand was tense again beneath mine.

"You obviously don't understand your own charm." She chuckled darkly. "And you accused me of dazzling people—poor Julie Black."

"Are you jealous?" was all I could think to say. She didn't answer, but her jaw tensed.

"What did you do then?" she asked after a minute.

"I did some research on the Internet."

"And did that convince you?" Her voice sounded barely interested. But her free hand was clamped hard onto the steering wheel.

"No. Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then…" I stopped. "I decided… It didn't matter," I whispered.

"It didn't matter?" She pulled her hand out from under mine and I looked up—I had finally broken through her carefully composed mask. Her face was incredulous, with just a hint of anger but I couldn't help but feel the anger wasn't directed at me.

"No," I said softly. "It doesn't matter to me what you are."

A hard, mocking edge entered her voice. "You don't care if I'm a monster?" If I'm not human?"

I thought about it for a moment. "No."

She was silent, staring straight ahead again. Her face was bleak and cold.

"You're upset," I sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything."

"No," she said, but her tone was as hard as her face. "I'd rather know what you're thinking—even if what you're thinking is insane."

She had rested her hand back on the gearshift. I moved my own hand back to gently stroke the back of her hand with my thumb. It seemed to soothe her.

"What are you thinking about now?" she asked. Her voice was calmer.

"I'm just curious about a few things."

"What are you curious about?" She asked, with a hint of resignation in her voice.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen," she answered promptly.

"And how long have you been seventeen?"

Her lips twitched as she stared at the road. "A while," she admitted at last.

"Okay." I smiled, pleased that she was still being honest with me. She stared down at me with watchful eyes, much as she did before, when she was worried I would go into shock. I smiled wider in encouragement, and she frowned.

"Don't laugh—but how can you come out during the daytime?"

She laughed anyway. "Myth."

"Burned by the sun?"

"Myth."

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth." She hesitated for a moment, and a peculiar tone entered her voice. "I can't sleep."

It took me a minute to understand the weight of that confession. "At all?"

"Never," she said, her voice nearly inaudible. She turned to look at me with a wistful expression. The golden eyes held mine, and I lost my train of thought. I stared at her until she looked away.

"You haven't asked me the most important question yet." Her voice was hard now, and when she looked at me again her eyes were cold.

I blinked, confused. "Which one is that?"

"You aren't concerned about my diet?" she asked sarcastically.

"Oh," I muttered, "that."

"Yes, that." Her voice was bleak. "Don't you want to know if I drink blood?"

I flinched. "Well, Julie said something about that."

"What did Julie say?" She asked flatly.

"She said you didn't…hunt people. She said your family wasn't supposed to be dangerous because you only hunted animals."

"She said we weren't dangerous?" Her voice was deeply skeptical.

"Not exactly. She said you weren't supposed to be dangerous. But the Quileutes still didn't want you on their land, just in case."

She looked forward, but I couldn't tell if she was watching the road or not.

"So was she right? About not hunting people?" I tried to keep my voice as even as possible.

"The Quileutes have a long memory," she whispered.

I took it as confirmation.

"Don't let that make you complacent, though," she warned me. "They're right to keep their distance from us. We are still dangerous."

"I don't understand."

"We try," she explained slowly. "We're usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Me, for example, allowing myself to be alone with you."

"This is a mistake?" I heard the sadness in my voice, and it surprised me.

"A very dangerous one," She murmured.

We were both silent then. I watched the headlights twist with the curves of the road. They moved too fast; it didn't look real, it looked like a video game. I was aware of the time slipping away so quickly, like the black road beneath us, and I was afraid I wouldn't have another chance to be with her like this again—talking so openly, without the walls between us that I had grown to expect. I couldn't waste a single minute I had with her.

"Tell me more," I asked, trying not to sound desperate, and failing.

She looked at me quickly, started by the change in my tone. "What more do you want to know?"

"Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people," I suggested, my voice still tinged with desperation.

"I don't want to be a monster." Her voice was very low.

"But animals aren't enough?"

She paused. "I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the hunger—or rather the thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time." Her tone turned ominous. "Sometimes it's more difficult than others."

"Is it very difficult for you now?" I asked.

She sighed, "Yes."

"But you're not hungry now," I said confidently—stating, not asking.

"Why do you think that?"

"Your eyes. I told you I had a theory. I've noticed that people are crabbier when they're hungry."

She chuckled. "You are observant, aren't you?"

I smirked, enjoying the sound of her laughter.

"Were you hunting this weekend, with Emmett?" I asked when it was quiet again.

"Yes." She paused for a second, as if deciding whether or not to say something. "I didn't want to leave, but it was necessary. It's a bit easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty."

"Why didn't you want to leave?"

"It makes me…anxious…to be away from you." Her eyes were gentle but intense, I felt an electric feeling running through my body. "I wasn't joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. And after what happened tonight, I'm surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed." She shook her head, and then seemed to remember something. "Well, not totally unscathed."

"What?"

"Your hands," she reminded me. I looked down at my palms, at the almost-healed scrapes across the heels of my hands. Her eyes missed nothing.

"I fell. Once," I sighed.

"That's what I thought." Her full lips curved up at the corners. "I suppose it could have been much worse—and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmett's nerves." She smiled ruefully at me.

"Three days? Didn't you just get back today?"

"No, we got back Sunday."

"Then why weren't any of you in school?" I was a little frustrated, almost annoyed as I thought of how disappointed I had been when she hadn't shown up to school. When I had so much on my mind, so much to ask her.

"Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesn't. But I can't go out in the sunlight—at least, not where anyone can see."

"Why?"

"I'll show you sometime," she promised.

"You could have called me," I offered.

She was puzzled. "But I knew you were safe."

"But I didn't know where you were. I—" I hesitated, averting my eyes.

"What?" Her velvety voice was compelling.

"I just… I thought you might not come back. That somehow you knew that I knew and… I was afraid you would disappear." I felt my face turning red as the words spilled out, too honest. What was Edyth to me? What was I to her? Sure, I was sitting in her car, stroking her hand but did that mean anything? Was I just a fascination to her? The one thing she couldn't figure out despite her supernatural talents. I realized that I was too invested in this; I was in too deep.

I noticed she was quiet. I glanced up, apprehensive, and saw that her expression was pained.

"Ah," she groaned quietly. "This is wrong."

I didn't understand her response. "What did I say?"

"Don't you see, Bella? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved." She turned her anguished eyes to the road, her words flowing almost too fast for me to understand. "I don't want to hear you feel that way." Her voice was low but urgent. Her words cut me. I was right; I was in too deep. I took my hand away from hers and rested it in my lap. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella—please, grasp that."

"No." I tried very hard to think of a better response, but the words refused to come. I felt foolish for thinking… It didn't matter what I thought.

"I'm serious," she growled.

"So am I. I told you, it doesn't matter to me what you are. It's too late—"

Her voice whipped out, low and harsh, cutting me off. "Never say that."

I bit my lip and I was glad she couldn't know how much that hurt. How stupid I felt, and how angry I was with myself. How foolish and reckless I had been. I didn't know anything about love, or relationships Isabella Swan: the strange loner. Something different about that one. Here I was, sitting in this car with this girl, this girl who was also strange and also different. I thought maybe she liked me. After all, we had been so open with each other; told each other so much—too much. The emotions were brimming up; all my frustration, all my anger, and I felt it all catch in my throat. I stared out at the road. We must be close now. She was driving much too fast.

"What are you thinking?" she asked, her voice still raw. I just shook my head, not sure if I could speak. I could feel her gaze on my face, but I kept my eyes forward.

"Are you crying?" She sounded appalled. I hadn't even realized it until I felt a tear fall down my cheek. I quickly rubbed it away with the back of my hand, but it was soon replaced by more.

"No," I said, but my voice broke.

I saw her reach toward me hesitantly with her right hand, but then she stopped and slowly pulled it away. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my hands resting on my lap.

I suddenly felt her cold hand on top of mine, holding it gently. I opened my eyes to look at her.

"I'm sorry." Her voice ached with regret. I knew she wasn't just apologizing for the words that had upset me. Her thumb stroked the back of my hand, softly.

The darkness slipped by us in silence. The car started slowing, and even in the dark I recognized that we were passing into the boundaries of Forks. It had taken less than twenty minutes.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" I asked, wondering if she heard how much more was in that question than I was actually saying.

"Do you want to see me?" she said softly, with a tinge of sadness in her voice.

"I do."

"Then I'll be there," she smiled, slightly. "I'll save you a seat at lunch."

It was silly, after everything that had happened tonight, how that little promise sent flutters through my stomach, and stole the words from me.

We were in front of Charlie's house. The lights were on, my truck in its place, everything utterly normal. It was like waking from a dream. She stopped the car, but I didn't move.

"You'll really be there tomorrow?"

"I promise." She squeezed my hand ever so gently, before taking it away. I pulled her jacket off, taking one last whiff.

"You can keep it—you don't have a jacket for tomorrow," she reminded me.

I handed it back to her. "I don't want to have to explain to Charlie."

"Oh, right."

I slowly reached over to the door handle, reveling in the moment before it ended.

"Bella?" she asked in a different tone—serious, but hesitant.

"Yes?" I turned back to her.

"Will you promise me something?"

"Sure," I said hesitantly, slightly nervous as to what her request might be.

"Don't go into the woods alone."

I stared at her in blank confusion. "Why?"

She frowned, and her eyes were tight as she stared past me out the window.

"I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there. Let's leave it at that."

I felt a sense of dread overtake me hearing the sudden bleakness in her voice, but this was an easy promise to honor. "Sure, Edyth."

"I'll see you tomorrow, Bella." Her eyes looked sad again, like when she had told me I could leave.

"Tomorrow, then." I opened the door slowly.

"Bella?" she caught my hand and I turned. She was leaning toward me, her pale, beautiful face just inches from mine. I felt like my heart stopped.

"Bella, I…" she didn't finished. She fell silent, his golden eyes staring into mine.

We stayed there, for a moment. She held my hand, not tightly but with determination. Her eyes were still searching deep in mine, for what I wasn't sure. She leaned even closer, if that was even possible, and her lips parted minutely. So close to her, I could smell that exquisite scent that clung to her jacket, but in a more concentrated form.

"Sleep well," she finally said and she reluctantly leaned away, releasing my hand.

I was unable to move for a moment, my heart was beating rapidly. I stepped out of the car carefully, having to use the frame for support. I thought I heard her chuckle, but the sound was too quiet for me to be certain.

She waited till I had reached the front door, and then I saw her look at me with those sad eyes for a moment before she slowly pulled away. I watched the silver car disappear around the corner. I realized it was very cold.

I reached for the key mechanically, unlocked the door, and stepped inside.

Charlie called me from the living room. "Bella?"

"Yeah, Dad, it's me." I walked in to see him. He was watching a baseball game.

"You're home early."

"Am I?" I was surprised.

"It's not even eight yet," He told me. "Did you have fun?"

"Yeah—it was lots of fun." My head was spinning, my night out with Jeremy and Allen seemed like it had been so long ago. "They both found tuxes."

"Are you all right?"

"I'm just tired. I did a lot of walking."

"Well, maybe you should go lie down." He sounded concerned. I wondered what my face looked like.

"I'm just going to call Jeremy first."

"Were you just with him?" He asked, surprised.

"Er, yes—but I left my jacket in his car. I want to make sure he brings it tomorrow."

"Well, give him a chance to get home first."

"Right," I agreed.

I went to the kitchen and fell, exhausted into a chair. I was starting to feel really dizzy now. I wondered if I was going into shock after all. Get a grip, I told myself.

The phone rang suddenly, startling me. I yanked it off the hook.

"Hello?" I asked breathlessly.

"Bella?"

"Hey, Jer, I was just going to call you."

"You made it home?" His voice was relieved.

"Yes. Hey, I left my jacket in your car—could you bring it to me tomorrow?"

"Sure. But tell me what happened!" He sounded eager.

"Um, tomorrow—in Trig, okay?"

He caught on quickly. "Oh, is your dad there?"

"Yeah, that's right."

"Okay, I'll talk to you tomorrow, then. Bye!" I could hear the excitement in his voice.

"Bye, Jer."

I walked up the stairs slowly, my mind in a stupor. I went through the motions of getting ready for bed without paying any attention to what I was doing. It wasn't until I was in the shower—the water too hot, burning my skin—that I realized I was freezing. I shuddered violently for several minutes before the steaming spray could finally relax my tense muscles. Then I stood in the shower, too tired to move, until the hot water began to run out.

I stumbled out, wrapping myself securely in a towel, trying to hold the heat from the water in so the aching shivers wouldn't return. I dressed for bed quickly and climbed under my quilt, hugging the warmth to my body. A few small shudders still trembled through me.

My mind still whirled, full of images I couldn't understand. Tonight had been real, and it had all actually happened. I didn't think I was reaching for something that wasn't real anymore. The look in her eyes, the way she touched my hand, the way she had leaned in to almost… Nothing seemed clear at first, but as I fell gradually closer to unconsciousness, a few certainties became evident.

About three things I was absolutely positive. First, Edyth was a vampire. Second, there was part of her— and I didn't know how potent that part might be— that thirsted for my blood. And third, I was unconditionally and irrevocably in love with her.


	19. theory Edyth pov

"Can I ask just one more?" she entreated instead of answering my demand.

I was on edge, anxious for the worst. And yet, how tempting it was to prolong this moment. To have Bella with me, willingly, for just a few seconds longer. I sighed at the dilemma, and then said, "One."

"Well…," she hesitated for a moment, as if deciding which question to voice. "You said you knew I hadn't gone into the bookstore, and that I had gone south. I was just wondering how you knew that."

I glared out the windshield. Here was another question that revealed nothing on her part, and too much on mine.

"Really? I thought we were past all the evasiveness," she said, her tone critical and disappointed.

How ironic. She was relentlessly evasive, without even trying.

Well, she wanted me to be direct. And this conversation wasn't going anywhere good, regardless.

"Fine, then," I said. "I followed your scent."

I wanted to watch her face, but I was afraid of what I would see. Instead, I listened to her breath accelerate and then stabilize. She spoke again after a moment, and her voice was steadier than I would have expected.

"And then you didn't answer one of my first questions…" she said.

I looked down at her, frowning. She was stalling, too.

"Which one?"

"How does it work—the mind-reading thing?" she asked, reiterating her question from the restaurant. "Can you read anybody's mind, anywhere? How do you do it? Can the rest of your family do the same thing?" She seemed more confident with her questions now.

"That's more than one question," I said.

She just looked at me, waiting for her answers.

And why not tell her? She'd already guessed most of this, and it was an easier subject that the one that loomed.

"No, it's just me. And I can't hear anyone, anywhere. They have to be fairly close. The more familiar someone's… 'voice' is, the farther away I can hear them. But still, no more than a few miles." I tried to think of a way to describe it so that she would understand. An analogy that she could relate to. "It's a little like being in a huge hall filled with people, everyone talking at once. It's just a hum—a buzzing of voices in the background. Until I focus on one voice, and then what they're thinking is clear. Most of the time, I tune it all out—it can be very distracting. And then it's easier to seemnormal"—I grimaced—"when I'm not accidentally answering someone's thought rather than their words."

"Why do you think you can't hear me?" she wondered.

Ah. The question of the century. I examined her face, searching for the answer in her beautiful eyes and coming up short yet again. I decided to give her another truth and another analogy.

"I don't know," I admitted. "The only guess I have is that maybe your mind doesn't work the same way the rest of theirs do. Like your thoughts are on the AM frequency and I'm only getting FM."

I realized that she would not like this analogy. The anticipation of her reaction had me smiling. She didn't disappoint.

"Did you just suggest my mind doesn't work right?" she asked, her voice rising with chagrin. "Like I'm a freak?"

Ah, the irony again.

"I hear voices in my mind and you're worried thatyou'rethe freak," I laughed. She understood all the small things, and yet the big ones she got backwards. Always the wrong instincts…

Bella was gnawing on her lip, and the crease between her eyes was etched deep.

"Don't worry," I reassured her. "It's just a theory…" And there was a more important theory to be discussed. I was anxious to get it over with. Each passing second was beginning to feel more and more like borrowed time.

"Which brings us back to you."

She sighed, still chewing her lip—I worried that she would hurt herself. She stared into my eyes, her face troubled.

"Aren't we past all evasions now?" I asked quietly.

She looked down, struggling with some internal dilemma. Suddenly, she stiffened and her eyes flew wide open. Fear flashed across her face for the first time.

"Holy crow!" she gasped.

I panicked. What had she seen? How had I frightened her?

Then she shouted, "Slow down!"

"What's wrong?" I didn't understand where her terror was coming from.

"You're pushing a hundred and ten miles an hour!" she yelled at me. She flashed a look out the window, and recoiled from the dark trees racing past us.

This little thing, just a bit of speed, had her shouting in fear?

I rolled my eyes. "Relax, Bella."

"Are you trying to kill us?" she demanded, her voice high and tight.

"We're not going to crash," I promised her.

She sucked in a sharp breath, and then spoke in a slightly more level tone. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

"I always drive like this."

I met her gaze, amused by her shocked expression.

"Keep your eyes on the road, Edyth!" She shouted.

"I've never had an accident, Bella—I've never even gotten a ticket." I grinned at her and touched my forehead. It made it even more comical—the absurdity of being able to joke with her about something so secret and strange. "Built-in radar detector."

"Very funny," she said sarcastically, her voice more frightened than angry. "Charlie's a cop, remember? I was raised to abide by traffic laws. Besides, if you turn us into a Volvo pretzel around a tree trunk, you can probably just walk away."

"Probably," I repeated, and then laughed without humor. Yes, we would fare quite differently in a car accident. She was right to be afraid, despite my driving abilities… "But you can't."

With a sigh, I let the car drift to a crawl. "Happy?"

She eyed the speedometer, and smirked. "Good girl."

I felt a thrill of excitement rush through my body at her words. I couldn't understand what I was feeling. I narrowed my eyes and stared at her, but I couldn't fight the smile that wanted to break across my face

Despite the thrill of her words, the torture of crawling along the highway was nearly unbearable. "I hate driving slow." I muttered, but let the needle slide another notch down.

"This is slow?" she asked.

"Enough commentary on my driving," I said impatiently. She stifled a laugh at my tone, but I was frustrated now. How many times had she dodged my question? Three times? Four? Were her speculations that horrific? I had to know—immediately. "I'm still waiting for your latest theory."

She bit her lip again, and her expression became upset, almost pained.

I reined in my impatience and softened my voice. I didn't want her to be distressed.

"I won't laugh," I promised, wishing that it was only embarrassment that made her unwilling to talk.

"I'm not worried about that." Her voice was soft.

"Then what?" I pressed.

"I'm worried that you'll be… upset," she whispered.

I considered her words. I didn't want her to be worried about that. I never wanted her to be afraid of me being upset with her. It made me feel more like a monster than I already was. I watched her from the corners of my eyes. She was fretting. Rubbing her hands, nervously. I decided to take a chance. I held my hand out towards her—just a few centimeters.

Her eyes darted up to mine, confusion apparent in their blue depths.

"Don't worry about me," I assured her. "I can handle it."

She tentatively took my hand, and I curled my fingers around hers as gently as I could for just a brief moment. Absorbing the sensation of her warm hand—like silk over glass. Glass I could shatter with the slightest wrong move. I unwillingly untangled my hand from hers and placed it on the gearshift.

She slowly placed her hand over the top of mine again. Did she really want her hand on mine? Was she truly not repulsed by my hand? She ran her thumb along the outside of my hand, tracing from my wrist to the tip of my little finger. The sensation was exhilarating, and yet I could not revel in it as deeply as I wished. She had to be repulsed by the cold hardness of my skin…

"The suspense is killing me, Bella," the words came out a shaky breath as I watched her hand. Her touch was stirring me in ways I couldn't understand.

Her voice was small. "I don't know where to start."

"Why don't you start at the beginning…" I remembered her words before dinner. "You said you didn't come up with this on your own?"

"No," she agreed, and then she was silent again.

I thought about what might have inspired her. "What got you started—a book? A film?"

I should have looked through her collections when she was out of the house. I had no idea if Bram Stoker or Anne Rice was there in her stack of worn paperbacks…

"No," she said again. "It was Saturday, at the beach."

I hadn't expected that. The local gossip about us had never strayed into anything too bizarre—or too precise. Was there a new rumor I'd missed? Bella peeked up at me and saw the surprise on my face.

"I ran into an old family friend—Julie Black," she went on. "Her dad and Charlie have been friends since I was a baby."

Julie Black—the name was no familiar, and yet it reminded me of something… sometime, long ago… I stared out of the windshield, flipping through memories to find the connection.

"Her dad is one of the Quileute elders," she said.

Julie Black.Ephraim Black. A descendant, no doubt.

It was as bad as it could get.

She knew the truth.

My mind was flying through the ramifications as the car flew around the dark curves in the road, my body rigid with anguish—motionless except for the small, automatic actions it took to steer the car.

She knew the truth.

But… if she'd learned the truth Saturday… then she'd known it all evening long… and yet…

"We went for a walk on the beach together," she went on.

Despite my growing panic, I still felt a twinge of jealousy over the way she described the walk. Laughable. Like that mattered anymore now that she knew the truth.

She continued, "And she was telling me about some old legends—trying to scare me, I guess. She told me one…"

She stopped short, but there was no need for her qualms now; I knew what she was going to say. The only mystery left was why she was here with me now.

"Go on," I said.

"About vampires," she breathed, the words less than a whisper.

Somehow, it was even worse than knowing that she knew, hearing her speak the word aloud. I flinched at the sound of it. Yet, her thumb continued to trace the lines of my hand. Somehow, the gesture comforted me and I controlled myself again.

"And… you immediately thought of me?" I asked.

"No. She mentioned your family."

How ironic that it would be Ephraim's own progeny that would violate the treaty he'd vowed to uphold. A granddaughter, or great-granddaughter perhaps. How many years had it been? Seventy?

I should have realized that it was not the old men whobelievedin the legends that would be the danger. Of course, the younger generation—those who would have been warned, but would have thought the ancient superstitions laughable—of course that was where the danger of exposure would lie.

I suppose this meant I was now free to slaughter the small, defenseless tribe on the coastline, were I so inclined. Ephraim and his pack of protectors were long dead…

"She just thought it was a silly folk-tale," Bella said suddenly, her voice edged with a new anxiety. "She didn't expect me to think anything of it."

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw her free hand tense uneasily.

"It was my fault," she said after a brief pause, and then she hung her head as if she were ashamed. "I convinced her to tell me."

"Why?" It wasn't so hard to keep my voice level now. The worst was already done. As long as we spoke of the details of the revelation, we didn't have to move on to the consequences of it.

"Logan said something about you—he was trying to provoke me." She made a little face at the memory. I was slightly distracted, wondering how Bella would be provoked by someone talking about me… "And an older boy from the tribe said your family didn't come to the reservation, only it sounded like he meant something different. So, when Julie and I went off alone I asked her."

Her head dropped slightly lower as she admitted this.

Surely, there was more to the story. The Black girl must have had some idea that the tribe legends were secrets. Surely she wouldn't have just given away the information.

"You must have said something to convince her to tell you."

Bella looked confused by this, "No… I just… asked her?"

Suddenly, I could just imagine—considering the attraction she seemed to have for everyone, totally unconscious on her part—how overwhelming her charm could be, when she wasn't even trying. Alone, walking on the beach with this girl and her stunning blue eyes, I was suddenly full of pity for the unsuspecting girl she'd questioned and I couldn't stop myself from laughing.

"You obviously don't understand your own charm," I said, and then I laughed again with black humor. I wished I could have heard the Black girl's reaction, witnessed the devastation for myself. "And you accused me of dazzling people—poor Julie Black."

I wasn't as angry with the source of my exposure as I would have expected to feel. She didn't know any better. And how could I except anyone to deny Bella what she wanted? No, I only felt sympathy for the damage Bella would have done to the Black girl's peace of mind.

I felt her blush heat the air between us. I glanced at her, and she was glaring at me, scarlet faced. "Are you jealous?" she said quickly.

I probably was, if I was honest. How much I would prefer it were me walking along the beach with Bella while she unleashed the full power of her charm on me. Ah, perchance to dream.

"What did you do then?" I prompted. Time to get back to the horror story.

"I did some research on the internet."

Ever practical. "And did that convince you?"

"No," she said. "Nothing fit. Most of it was kind of silly. And then…" She trailed off. She seemed thoughtful for a moment. "I decided… It didn't matter," she whispered the words.

Shock froze my thoughts for a half-second, and then it all fit together. Why she'd sent her friends away tonight rather than escape with them. Why she had gotten into my car with me again instead of running, screaming for the police…

Her reactions were always wrong—always completely wrong. She pulled danger toward herself. She invited it.

"It didn'tmatter?"I said through my teeth, anger filling me. I pulled my hand out from under hers. How was I supposed to protect someone so… so… so determined to be unprotected?

"No," she said in a low voice that was inexplicably tender. "It doesn't matter to me what you are."

She was impossible.

"You don't care if I'm a monster? If I'm nothuman?"

"No."

I started to wonder if she was entirely stable.

I supposed that I could arrange for her to receive the best care available… Carlisle would have the connections to find her the most skilled doctors, the most talented therapists. Perhaps something could be done to fix whatever it was that was wrong with her, what ever it was that made her content to sit beside a vampire with her heart beating calmly and steadily. I would watch over the facility, naturally, and visit as often as I was allowed…

"You're upset," she sighed. "I shouldn't have said anything."

As if her hiding these disturbing tendencies would help either of us.

"No. I'd rather know what you're thinking—even if what you're thinking is insane."

I had rested my hand back on the gearshift, and her hand returned to stroking the back of mine with her thumb. Despite everything, it was soothing.

"What are you thinking about now?" I needed to know, I needed some explanation to the workings of her mind.

"I'm just curious about a few things." Her voice was composed.

It was like it didn't matter what I was. She didn't care. She knew I was inhuman, a monster, and this didn't really matter to her.

Aside from my worries about her sanity, I began to feel a swelling of hope. I tried to quash it.

"What are you curious about?" I asked her. There were no secrets left, only minor details.

"How old are you?" she asked.

My answer was automatic and ingrained. "Seventeen."

"And how long have you been seventeen?"

I tried not to smile at the patronizing tone. "A while," I admitted.

"Okay," she said, abruptly enthusiastic. She smiled up at me. When I stared back, anxious again about her mental health, she smiled wider. I grimaced.

"Don't laugh," she warned. "But how can you come out during the daytime?"

I laughed despite her request. Her research had not netted her anything unusual, it seemed. "Myth," I told her.

"Burned by the sun?"

"Myth."

"Sleeping in coffins?"

"Myth."

Sleep had not been a part of my life for so long—not until these last few nights, as I'd watched Bella dreaming…

"I can't sleep," I murmured, answering her question more fully.

She was silent for a moment.

"At all?"

"Never," I breathed.

I stared into her eyes, wide under the thick fringe of lashes, and yearned for sleep. Not for oblivion, as I had before, not to escape boredom, but because I wanted todream. Maybe I could be unconscious, if I could dream, I could live for a few hours in a world where she and I could be together. She dreamed of me. I wanted to dream of her.

She stared back at me, her expression full of wonder. I had to look away.

I could not dream of her. She should not dream of me.

"You haven't asked the most important question yet," I said, my silent chest colder and harder than before. She had to be forced to understand. At some point, she would have to realize what she was doing now. She must be made to see that this alldidmatter—more than any other consideration. Considerations like the fact that I loved her.

"Which one is that?" she asked, surprised and unaware.

This only made my voice harder. "You aren't concerned about my diet?"

"Oh. That." She spoke in a quiet tone that I couldn't interpret.

"Yes, that. Don't you want to know if I drink blood?"

She cringed away from my question. Finally. She was understanding.

"Well, Julie said something about that," she said.

"What did Julie say?"

"She said you didn't… hunt people. She said your family wasn't supposed to be dangerous because you only hunted animals."

"She said we weren't dangerous?" I repeated cynically.

"Not exactly," she clarified. "She said you weren'tsupposedto be dangerous. But the Quileutes still didn't want you on their land, just in case."

I stared at the road, my thoughts in a hopeless snarl, my throat aching with the familiar fiery thirst.

"So, was she right?" she asked, as calmly as if she were confirming a weather report. "About not hunting people?"

"The Quileutes have a long memory."

She nodded to herself, thinking hard.

"Don't let that make you complacent, though," I said quickly. "They're right to keep their distance from us. We are still dangerous."

"I don't understand."

No she didn't. How to make her see?

"We try," I told her. "We're usually very good at what we do. Sometimes we make mistakes. Me, for example. Allowing myself to be alone with you."

Her scent was still a force in the car. I was growing used to it, I could almost ignore it, but there was no denying that my body still yearned toward her for the wrong reason. My mouth was swimming with venom.

"This is a mistake?" she asked, and there was heartbreak in her voice. The sound of it disarmed me. She wanted to be with me—despite everything, she wanted to be with me.

Hope swelled again, and I beat it back.

"A very dangerous one," I told her truthfully, wishing the truth could really somehow cease to matter.

She didn't respond for a moment. I heard her breathing change—it hitched in strange ways that did not sound like fear.

"Tell me more," she said suddenly, her voice distorted by anguish.

I examined her carefully.

She was in pain. How had I allowedthis?

"What more do you want to know?" I asked, trying to think of a way to keep her from hurting. She should not hurt. I couldn't let her be hurt.

"Tell me why you hunt animals instead of people," she said, still anguished.

Wasn't it obvious? Or maybe this didn't matter to her either.

"I don'twantto be a monster," I muttered.

"But animals aren't enough?"

I searched for another comparison, a way that she could understand. "I can't be sure, of course, but I'd compare it to living on tofu and soy milk; we call ourselves vegetarians, our little inside joke. It doesn't completely satiate the hunger—or rather the thirst. But it keeps us strong enough to resist. Most of the time." My voice got lower; I was ashamed of the danger I had allowed her to be in. Danger I continued to allow... "Sometimes it's more difficult than others."

"Is it very difficult for you now?"

I sighed. Of course she would ask the question I didn't want to answer. "Yes," I admitted.

I expected her physical response correctly this time; her breathing held steady, her heart kept an even pattern. I expected it, but I did not understand it. How could she not be afraid?

"But you're not hungry now," she declared, perfectly sure of herself.

"Why do you think that?"

"Your eyes," she said, her tone offhand. "I told you I had a theory. I've noticed that people are crabbier when they're hungry."

I chuckled at her description:crabby. That was an understatement. But she was dead right, as usual. "You're observant, aren't you?"

She smirked, but a crease ran between her eyes as if she were concentrating on something.

"Were you hunting this weekend, with Emmett?" she asked after my laugh had faded. The casual way she spoke was as fascinating as it was frustrating. Could she really accept so much in stride? I was closer to shock than she seemed to be.

"Yes," I told her, and then, as I was about to leave it at that, I felt the same urge I'd had in the restaurant: I wanted her to know me. "I didn't want to leave," I went on slowly, "but it was necessary. It's a bit easier to be around you when I'm not thirsty."

"Why didn't you want to leave?"

I took a deep breath, and then I turned to meet her gaze. This kind of honesty was difficult in a very different way.

"It makes me… anxious," I supposed that word would suffice, thought it wasn't strong enough, "to be away from you. I wasn't joking when I asked you to try not to fall in the ocean or get run over last Thursday. I was distracted all weekend, worrying about you. And after what happened tonight, I'm surprised that you did make it through a whole weekend unscathed." Then I remembered the scrapes on her palms. "Well, not totally unscathed," I amended.

"What?"

"Your hands," I reminded her.

She sighed and grimaced. "I fell. Once."

I'd guessed right. "That's what I thought," I said, unable to contain my smile. "I suppose it could have been much worse—and that possibility tormented me the entire time I was away. It was a very long three days. I really got on Emmett's nerves." Honestly, that didn't belong in the past tense. I was probably still irritating Emmett, and all the rest of my family, too. Except Alice…

"Three days?" she asked, her voice suddenly sharp. "Didn't you just get back today?"

I didn't understand the edge in her voice. "No, we got back Sunday."

"Then why weren't any of you in school?" She asked, frustration in her voice. Her irritation confused me. She didn't seem to realize that this question was one that related to mythology again.

"Well, you asked if the sun hurt me, and it doesn't," I said. "But I can't go out in the sunlight—at least, not where anyone can see."

That distracted her from her mysterious frustration. "Why?" she asked, leaning her head to one side.

I doubted I could come up with the appropriate analogy to explain this one. So I just told her, "I'll show you sometime." And then I wondered if this was a promise I would end up breaking. Would I see her again, after tonight? Did I love her enough yet to be able to bear leaving her?

"You could have called me," she said.

What an odd conclusion. "But I knew you were safe."

"ButIdidn't know whereyouwere. I—" She came to an abrupt stop, and looked at her hands.

"What?"

"I just… I thought you might not come back. That somehow you knew that I knew and…" she paused, her voice shy, the skin over her cheekbones warming. "I was afraid you would disappear."

Are you happy now?I demanded of myself. Well, here was my reward for hoping.

I was bewildered, elated, horrified—mostly horrified—to realize that all my wildest imaginings were not so far off the mark. This was why it didn't matter to her that I was a monster. It was exactly the same reason that the rules no longer mattered to me. Why right and wrong were no longer compelling influences. Why all my priorities had shifted one rung down to make room for this girl at the very top.

Bella cared for me, too.

I knew it could be nothing in comparison to how I loved her. But it was enough for her to risk her life to sit here with me. To do so gladly.

Enough to cause her pain if I did the right thing and left her.

Was there anything I could do now that wouldnothurt her? Anything at all?

I should have stayed away. I should never have come back to Forks. I would cause her nothing but pain.

Would that stop me from staying now? From making it worse?

The way I felt right now, feeling her warmth against my skin…

No. Nothing would stop me.

"Ah," I groaned to myself. "This is wrong."

"What did I say?" she asked, quick to take the blame on herself.

"Don't you see, Bella? It's one thing for me to make myself miserable, but a wholly other thing for you to be so involved. I don't want to hear that you feel that way." It was the truth, it was a lie. The most selfish part of me was flying with the knowledge that she wanted me as I wanted her. "It's wrong. It's not safe. I'm dangerous, Bella—please grasp that."

"No." Her lips pouted out.

"I'm serious." I was battling with myself so strongly—half desperate for her to accept, half desperate to keep the warnings from escaping—that the words came through my teeth as a growl.

"So am I," she insisted. "I told you, it doesn't matter to me what you are. It's too late."

Too late? The world was bleakly black and white for one endless second as I watched the shadows crawl across the sunny lawn toward Bella's sleeping form in my memory. Inevitable, unstoppable. They stole the color from her skin, and plunged her into darkness.

Too late? Alice's vision swirled in my head, Bella's blood red eyes staring back at me impassively. Expressionless—but there was no way that she couldnothate me for that future. Hate me for stealing everything from her. Stealing her life and her soul.

It could not be too late.

"Never say that," I hissed.

She stared out her window, and her teeth bit into her lip again. Her hands were balled into tight fists in her lap. Her breathing hitched and broke.

"What are you thinking?" I had to know.

She shook her head without looking at me. I saw something glisten, like a crystal, on her cheek.

Agony. "Are you crying?" I'd made hercry. I'd hurt her that much.

She scrubbed the tears away with the back of her hand.

"No," she lied, her voice breaking.

Some long buried instinct had me reaching out toward her—in that one second I felt more human than I ever had. And then I remembered that I was… not. And I lowered my hand.

And yet, why couldn't I be human? Why couldn't I deny the monster I was and at leasttry? So I reached out and placed my hand on top of hers. Her eyes shot open to look at me.

"I'm sorry," I said, my jaw locked. How could I ever tell her how sorry I was? Sorry for all the stupid mistakes I'd made. Sorry for my never-ending selfishness. Sorry that she was so unfortunate as to have inspired this first, tragic love of mine. Sorry also for the things beyond my control—that I'd been the monster chosen by fate to end her life in the first place.

I took a deep breath—ignoring the wretched reaction to the flavor in the car—and tried to collect myself, concentrating on gently stroking the back of her hand with my thumb.

"Will I see you tomorrow?" She asked, her voice full of emotion.

I grappled with the question. I wanted nothing more than to see her, but I had hurt her—I had made her cry. Would she want to see me?

"Do you want to see me?" I asked, my voice tinged with the sadness and worry that she would say no.

"I do." Was her simple reply.

Elation beyond words.

As long as I was on my way to hell—I might as well enjoy the journey.

"Then I'll be there," I smiled at her, and it felt good to do this. "I'll save you a seat at lunch."

Her heart fluttered; my dead heart suddenly felt warmer.

I stopped the car in front of her father's house. She made no move to leave.

"You'll really be there tomorrow?" She asked.

"I promise." I gave her hand a gentle squeeze of assurance—exercising as much control as I could—before removing my hand from hers.

How could doing the wrong thing give me so much happiness? Surely there was something amiss in that.

She nodded, satisfied, and started to remove my jacket.

"You can keep it," I assured her quickly. I rather wanted to leave her with something of myself. A token, like the bottle cap that was in my pocket now… "You don't have a jacket for tomorrow."

She handed it back to me, smiling ruefully. "I don't want to have to explain to Charlie," she told me.

I would imagine not. I smiled at her. "Oh, right."

She put her hand on the door handle, and then stopped. Unwilling to leave, just as I was unwilling to let her go.

To have her unprotected, even for a few moments…

Peter and Charlotte were well on their way by now, long past Seattle, no doubt. But there were always others. This world was not a safe place for any human, and for her it seemed to be more dangerous than it was for the rest.

"Bella?" I asked, surprised at the pleasure there was in simply speaking her name.

"Yes?"

"Will you promise me something?"

"Sure," she said hesitantly, her eyes tightened curiously.

"Don't go into the woods alone," I warned her, wondering if this request would trigger the objection in her eyes.

She blinked, startled. "Why?"

I glowered into the untrustworthy darkness. The lack of light was no problem formyeyes, but neither would it trouble another hunter. It only blinded humans.

"I'm not always the most dangerous thing out there," I told her. "Let's leave it at that."

She shivered, but recovered quickly and was even smiling when she told me, "Sure, Edyth."

Her breath touched my face, so sweet and fragrant.

I could stay here all night like this, but she needed her sleep. The two desires seemed equally strong as they continually warned inside me; wanting her versus wanting her to be safe.

I sighed at the impossibilities. "I'll see you tomorrow," I said, knowing that I would see her much sooner than that. She wouldn't seemeuntil tomorrow, though.

"Tomorrow, then," she agreed as she slowly opened her door.

Agony again, watching her leave.

I leaned after her, wanting to hold her there. "Bella?"

My hand caught hers, she turned, and then froze, surprised to find our faces so close together.

I, too, was overwhelmed by the proximity. The heat rolled off her in waves, caressing my face. I could all but feel the silk of her skin.

"Bella, I…" but I couldn't finish. So much I wanted to say, but I didn't know how. My hand held hers, as gently as I could. I searched her blue eyes, wishing I could know how she had decided that she cared for a monster such as myself. More than that, I was searching for the will to be strong enough to be as human as possible for her. I felt myself lean even closer to her, and my lips parted ever so slightly. Why? To speak? Or was some deep, long unspoken human instinct fighting to break free?

Her heartbeat stuttered, and her lips fell open.

I could not go any further than this, after all, I was only so strong.

"Sleep well," I whispered, and leaned away, releasing hee hand, before the urgency in my body—either the familiar thirst or the very new and strange hunger I suddenly felt—could make me do something that might hurt her.

She sat there motionless for a moment, her eyes wide and stunned. Dazzled, I guessed.

As was I.

She recovered—though her face was still a bit bemused—and half fell out of the car, tripping over her feet and having to catch the frame of the car to right herself.

I chuckled—hopefully it was too quiet for her to hear.

I watched her stumble her way up to the pool of light that surrounded the front door. Safe for the moment. And I would be back soon to make sure.

I could feel her eyes follow me as I drove down the dark street. Such a different sensation than I was accustomed to. Usually, I could simplywatchmyself through someone's following eyes, were I of a mind to. This was strangely exciting—this intangible sensation of watching eyes. I knew it was just because they wereher eyes.

A million thoughts chased each other through my head as I drove aimlessly into the night.

For a long time, I circled through the streets, going nowhere, thinking of Bella and the incredible release of having the truth known. No longer did I have to dread that she would find out what I was. She knew. It didn't matter to her. Even though this was obviously a bad thing for her, it was amazingly liberating for me.

More than that, I thought of Bella and requited love. She couldn't love me the way I loved her—such an overpowering, all-consuming, crushing love would probably break her fragile body. But she felt strongly enough. Enough to subdue the instinctive fear. Enough to want to be with me. And being with her was the greatest happiness I had ever known.

For a while—as I was all alone and hurting no one else for a change—I allowed myself to feel that happiness without dwelling on the tragedy. Just to be happy that she cared for me. Just to exult in the triumph of winning her affection. Just to imagine day after day of sitting close to her, hearing her voice and earning and earning her smiles.

I replayed that smile in my head, seeing her full lips pull up at the corners, the hint of a dimple that touched her chin, the way her eyes warmed and melted… Her fingers had felt so warm and soft on my hand tonight. I imagined how it would feel to touch the delicate skin that stretched over her cheekbones—silky, warm… so fragile. Silk over glass… frighteningly breakable.

I didn't see where my thoughts were leading until it was too late. As I dwelt on that devastating vulnerability, new images of her face intruded on my fantasies.

Lost in the shadows, pale with fear—yet her jaw tight and determined, her eyes fierce, full of concentration, her lean body braced to strike at the hulking forms that gathered around her, nightmares in the gloom…

"Ah," I groaned as the simmering hate that I'd all but forgotten in the joy of loving her burst again into an inferno of rage.

I was alone. Bella was, I trusted, safe inside her home; for a moment I was fiercely glad that Charlie Swan—head of the local law enforcement, trained and armed—was her father. That ought to mean something, provide some shelter for her.

She was safe. It would not take me so very long to avenge the insult…

No. Bella deserved better. I could not allow her to care for a murderer.

But… what about the others?

Bella was safe, yes. Allen and Jeremy were also, surely, safe in their beds.

Yet a monster was loose in the streets of Port Angeles. A human monster—did that make him the humans' problem? To commit the murder I ached to commit was wrong. I knew that. But leaving him free to attack again could not be the right thing either.

The blond host from the restaurant. The server I'd never really looked at. Both had irritated me in a trivial way, but that did not mean they deserved to be in danger. This human monster did not discriminate.

Either one of them could be somebody's Bella.

That realization decided me.

I turned the car north, accelerating now that I had a purpose. Whenever I had a problem that was beyong me—something tangible like this—I knew where I could go for help.

Alice was sitting on the porch, waiting for me. I pulled to a stop in front of the house rather than going around to the garage.

"Carlisle's in his study," Alice told me before I could ask.

"Thank you," I said, tousling her hair as I passed.

Thank you for returning my call,she thought sarcastically.

"Oh." I paused by the door, pulling out my phone and checking my missed calls. "Sorry. I didn't even check to see who it was. I was… busy."

"Yeah, I know. I'm sorry, too. By the time I saw what was going to happen, you were on your way."

"It was close," I murmured.

Sorry, she repeated, ashamed of herself.

It was easy to be generous, knowing that Bella was fine. "Don't be. I know you can't catch everything. No one expects you to be omniscient, Alice."

"Thanks."

"I almost asked you out to dinner tonight—did you catch that before I changed my mind?"

She grinned. "No, I missed that one, too. Wish I'd known. I would have come."

"What were you concentrating on, that you missed so much?"

Jasper's thinking about our anniversary.She laughed.He's trying not to make a decision on my gift, but I think I have a pretty good idea…

"You're shameless."

"Yep."

She pursed her lips, and stared up at me, a hint of accusation in her expression.I paid better attention later. Are you going to tell them that she knows?

I sighed. "Yes. Later."

I won't say anything. Do me a favor and tell Royal when I'm not around, okay?

I flinched. "Sure."

Bella took it pretty well.

"Too well."

Alice grinned at me.Don't underestimate Bella.

I tried to block the image I didn't want to see—Bella and Alice, best of friends.

Impatient now, I sighed heavily. I wanted to be through with the next part of the evening; I wanted it over with. But I was a little worried to leave Forks…

"Alice…" I began. She saw what I was planning to ask.

She'll be fine tonight. I'm keeping a better watch now. She sort of needs twenty-four hour supervision, doesn't she?

"At least."

"Anyway, you'll be with her soon enough."

I took a deep breath. The words were beautiful to me.

"Go on—get this done so you can be where you want to be," she told me.

I nodded, and hurried up to Carlisle's office.

He was waiting for me, his eyes on the door rather than the thick book on his desk.

"I heard Alice tell you where to find me," he said, and smiled.

It was a relief to be with him, to see the empathy and deep intelligence in his eyes. Carlisle would know what to do.

"I need help."

"Anything, Edyth," he promised.

"Did Alice tell you what happened to Bella tonight?"

Almost happened,he amended.

"Yes, almost. I've got a dilemma, Carlisle. You see, I want… very much… to kill him." The words started to flow fast and passionate. "So much. But I know that would be wrong, because it would be vengeance, not justice. All anger, no impartiality. Still it can't be right to leave a serial rapist and killer wandering Port Angeles! I don't know the humans there, but I can't let someone else take Bella's place as this monster's victim. Those other young men and women—someone might feel about them the same way I feel about Bella. Might suffer what I would have suffered if she'd been harmed. It's not right—"

His wide, unexpected smile stopped the rush of my words cold.

She's very good for you, isn't she? So much compassion, so much control. I'm impressed.

"I'm not looking for compliments, Carlisle."

"Of course not. But I can't help my thoughts, can I?" He smiled again. "I'll take care of it. You can rest easy. No one else will be harmed in Bella's place."

I saw the plan in his head. It wasn't exactly what I wanted, it did not satisfy my craving for brutality, but I could see that it was the right thing.

"I'll show you where to find him," I said.

"Let's go."

He grabbed his black bag on the way. I would have preferred a more aggressive form of sedation—like a cracked skull—but I would let Carlisle do this his way.

We took my car. Alice was still on the steps. She grinned and waved as we drove way. I saw that she had looked ahead for me; we would have no difficulties.

The trip was very short on the dark, empty road. I left my headlights off to keep from attraction attention. It made me smile to think how Bella would have reacted tothispace. I'd already been driving slower than usual—to prolong my time with her—when she'd objected.

Carlisle was thinking of Bella, too.

I didn't foresee that she would be so good for Edyth. That's unexpected. Perhaps this was somehow meant to be. Perhaps it serves a higher purpose. Only…

He pictures Bella with snow cold skin and blood red eyes, and then flinched away from the image.

Yes.Only. Indeed. Because how could there be any good in destroying something so pure and lovely.

I glowered into the night, all the joy of the evening destroyed by his thoughts.

Edyth deserves happiness. She's owed it. The fierceness of Carlisle's thoughts surprised me.There must be a way.

I wished I could believe that—either one. But there was no higher purpose to what was happening to Bella. Just a vicious harpy, an ugly, butter face who could not bear for Bella to have the life she deserved.

I did not linger in Port Angeles. I took Carlisle to the dive bar where the creature named Lonnie was drowning his disappointment with his friends—two of whom had already passed out. Carlisle could see how hard this was for me to be so close—for me to hear the monsters thoughts and see his memories, memories of Bella mixed in with his less fortunate victims who no one could save now.

My breaching sped. I clenched the steering wheel.

Go, Edyth,he told me gently.I'll make the rest of them safe. You go back to Bella.

It was exactly the right thing to say. Her name was the only distraction that could mean anything to me now.

I left him in the car, and ran back to Forks in a straight line though the sleeping forest. It took less time than the first journey in the speeding car. It was just minutes later that I scaled the side of her house and slid her window out of my way.

I sighed silently with relief. Everything was just as it should be. Bella was safe in her bed, dreaming, her wet hair tangled around itself on the pillow.

But, unlike most nights, she was curled into a small ball with the covers stretched taut around her shoulders. Cold, I guessed. Before I could settled into my usual seat, she shivered in her sleep, and her lips trembled.

I thought for a brief moment, and then I eased out into the hallway, exploring another part of her house for the first time.

Charlie's snores were loud and even. I could almost catch the edge of his dream. Something with the rush of water and patient expectation… fishing, maybe?

There, at the top of the stairs, was a promising looking cupboard. I opened it hopefully, and found what I was looking for. I selected the thickest blanket from the tiny linen closet, and took it back into Bella's room. I would return it before she awoke, and no one would be the wiser.

Holding my breath, I cautiously spread the blanket over her; she didn't react to the added weight. I returned to the rocking chair.

While I waited anxiously for her to warm up, I thought of Carlisle, wondering where he was now. I knew his plan would go smoothly—Alice had seen that.

Thinking of my father made me sigh—Carlisle gave me too much credit. I wished I was the person he thought me to be. That person, the one who deserved happiness, might hope to be worthy of this sleeping girl. How different things would be if I could be that Edyth.

For a moment, the hag-faced fate I'd imagined, the one who sought Bella's destruction, was replaced by the most foolish and reckless of angels. A guardian angel—something Carlisle's version of me might have had. With a heedless smile on her lips, her sky-colored eyes full of mischief, the angel formed Bella in such a fashion that there was no way I could possibly overlook her. A ridiculously potent scent to demand my attention, a silent mind to enflame my curiosity, a quiet beauty to hold my eyes, a selfless soul to earn my awe. Leave out the natural sense of self-preservation—so that Bella could bear to be near me—and, finally, add a wide streak of appallingly bad luck.

With a careless laugh, the irresponsible angel propelled her fragile creation directly into my path, trusting blithely in my flawed morality to keep Bella alive.

In this vision, I was not Bella's sentence; she was my reward.

I shook my head at the fantasy of the unthinking angel. She was not much better than the harpy. I could not think well of a higher power that would behave in such a dangerous and stupid manner. At least the ugly fate I could fight against.

And I had no angel. They were reserved for the good—for people like Bella. So where was her angel through all this? Who was watching over her?

I laughed silently, startled, as I realized that, just now, I was filling that role.

A vampire angel—there was a stretch.

After about a half hour, Bella relaxed out of the tight ball. Her breathing got deeper and she started to murmur. I smiled, satisfied. It was a small thing, but at least she was sleeping more comfortably tonight because I was here.

"Edyth," she sighed, and she smiled, too.

I shoved tragedy aside for the moment, and let myself be happy again.


	20. interaggations Bella pov

It was very hard, in the morning, to argue with the part of me that was sure last night was a dream. Logic wasn't on my side, or common sense. I clung to the parts I couldn't have imagined—like her smell. I was sure I could never have dreamed that up on my own.

It was foggy and dark outside my window, absolutely perfect. She had no reason not to be in school today. I dressed in my heavy clothes, remembering I didn't have a jacket. Further proof that my memory was real.

When I got downstairs, Charlie was gone again—I was running later than I'd realized. I swallowed a granola bar in three bites, chased it down with milk straight from the carton, and then hurried out the door. Hopefully the rain would hold off until I could find Jeremy.

It was unusually foggy; the air was almost smoky with it. The mist was ice cold where it clung to the exposed skin on my face and neck. I couldn't wait to get the heat going in my truck. It was such a thick fog that I was a few feet down the driveway before I realized there was a car in it: a silver car. My heart thudded, then began beating in double time.

I didn't see where she came from, but suddenly she was there, pulling the passenger door open for me.

"Do you want to ride with me today?" she asked, amused by my expression as she caught me by surprise yet again. There was uncertainty in her voice. She was really giving me a choice—I was free to refuse, and I knew part of her hoped for that. It was a vain hope.

"Yes, thank you," I said, trying to keep my voice calm. As I stepped into the warm car, I noticed her tan jacket was slung over the headrest of the passenger seat. The door closed behind me, and, sooner than should be possible, she was sitting next to me, starting the car.

"I brought the jacket for you. I didn't want you to get sick or something." Her voice was guarded. I noticed that she wore no jacket herself, just a light gray Henley. She wore it unbuttoned at the top so her neck was showing and the fabric clung to her perfect chest. It was a tribute to her beautiful face that it kept me from staring at her body.

"I'm not quite that delicate." I said, but I pulled the jacket onto my lap, pushing my arms through the too-long sleeves, curious to see if the scent could possibly be as good as I remembered. It was better.

"Aren't you?" she contradicted in a voice so low I wasn't sure if she meant for me to hear.

We drove through the fog-shrouded streets, always too fast, feeling awkward. I was, at least. Last night all the walls were down… almost all. I didn't know if we were still being as candid today. It left me tongue-tied. I waited for her to speak.

She turned to smirk at me. "What, no twenty questions today?"

"Do my questions bother you?" I asked.

"Not as much as your reactions do." She looked like she was joking, but I couldn't be sure.

I frowned. "Do I react badly?"

"No, that's not the problem. You take everything so coolly—it's unnatural. It makes me wonder what you're really thinking."

"I always tell you what I'm really thinking."

"You edit," she accused.

"Not enough."

"Enough to drive me insane."

"You don't want to hear it," I mumbled, almost whispered. As soon as the words were out, I regretted them. The pain in my voice was very faint; I hoped she hadn't noticed it.

She didn't respond, and I wondered if I had ruined the mood. Her face was unreadable as we drove into the school parking lot. Something occurred to me belatedly.

"Where's the rest of your family?" I asked—more than glad to be alone with her, but remembering that her car was usually full.

"They took Royal's car." She shrugged as she parked next to a glossy red convertible with the top up. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

"Um, wow." I gawked at the car. "If he hasthat, why does he ride with you?"

"Like I said, it's ostentatious. Wetryto blend in."

"You don't succeed." I laughed and shook my head as we got out of the car. I wasn't late anymore; her lunatic driving had gotten me to school in plenty of time. "So why did Royal drive today if it's more conspicuous?"

"Hadn't you noticed? I'm breakingallthe rules now." She met me at the front of the car, staying very close to my side as we walked onto campus. I wanted to close that little distance, to reach out and touch her, but I was afraid she wouldn't like me to.

"Why do you have cars like that at all?" I wondered aloud. "If you're looking for privacy?"

"An indulgence," she admitted with an impish smile. "We all like to drive fast."

"Figures," I rolled my eyes.

Under the shelter of the cafeteria roof's overhang, Jeremy was waiting, his eyes about to bug out of their sockets. Over his arm, bless him, was my jacket.

"Hey, Jer," I said when we were a few feet away. "Thanks for remembering." he handed me my jacket without speaking.

"Good morning, Jeremy," Edyth said politely. It wasn't really her fault that her voice was so irresistible. Or what her eyes were capable of.

"Er…hi." he shifted his wide eyes to me, trying to gather his jumbled thoughts. "I guess I'll see you in Trig." he gave me a meaningful look, and I suppressed a sigh. What on earth was I going to tell him?

"Yeah, I'll see you then."

he walked away, pausing twice to peek back over his shoulder at us.

"What are you going to tell him?" Edyth murmured.

"Hey, I thought you couldn't read my mind!" I glared at her.

"I can't," she said, startled. Then understanding brightened her eyes. "However, I can read his—he'll be waiting to ambush you in class."

I groaned as I pulled off her jacket and handed it to her, replacing it with my own. She folded it over her arm.

"So what are you going to tell him?"

"A little help?" I pleaded. "What does he want to know?"

She shook her head, grinning wickedly. "That's not fair."

"No, you not sharing what you know—nowthat'snot fair."

She deliberated for a moment as we walked. We stopped outside the door to my first class.

"he wants to know if we're secretly dating. And he wants to know how you feel about me," she finally said.

"Great. What should I say?" I tried to keep my expression neutral. People were passing us on their way to class, probably staring, but I was barely aware of them.

"Hmmm." She paused to smooth a stray lock of hair back into place on my head, "I suppose you could say yes to the first… If you don't mind, that is."

"I… I don't mind." I said faintly, my heart was beating rapidly in my chest.

"And as for his other question… well, I'll be listening to hear the answer to that one myself." One side of her mouth pulled into my favorite uneven smile. My voice caught in my throat and I couldn't respond.

"I'll see you at lunch," she said softly. Then she turned and walked away. Three people walking in the door stopped to stare at me.

I hurried into class, blushing fiercely. Now I was even more worried about what I was going to say to Jeremy. This wasn't entirely fair. I sat in my usual seat, slamming by bag down in frustration.

"Morning, Bella," Makayla said from the seat next to me. I looked up to see an odd, almost resigned look on her face. "How was Port Angeles?"

"It was…" There really was no honest way to sum it up. "Great," I finished lamely. "Jeremy got a really nice tux."

"Did he say anything about Monday night?" she asked, her eyes brightening. I smiled at the turn the conversation had taken.

"he said he had a really good time," I assured her.

"he did?" she said eagerly.

"Most definitely."

Mr. Mason called the class to order then, asking us to turn in our papers. English and then Government passed in a blur. I worried about how to explain things to Jeremy and agonized over whether Edyth would really be listening to what I said through the medium of Jer's thoughts. How very inconvenient her little talent could be—when it wasn't saving my life.

The fog had almost dissolved by the end of the second hour, but the day was still dark with low, oppressing clouds. I smiled up at the sky.

Edyth was right, of course. When I walked into Trig, Jeremy was sitting in the back row, nearly bouncing off his seat in excitement. I reluctantly went to sit by him, trying to convince myself it would better to get it over with as soon as possible.

"Tell me everything!" he begged.

"What do you want to know?" I hedged.

"What happened last night?" he was practically squealing.

"She bought me dinner, and then she drove me home."

he glared at me, his expression stiff with skepticism. "How did you get home so fast?"

"She drives like a maniac. It was terrifying." I hoped she heard that.

"Was it like a date—did you tell her to meet you there?"

I hadn't thought of that. "No—I wasverysurprised to see her there."

His lips puckered in disappointment at the transparent honesty in my voice.

"But she picked you up for school today?" he probed. "Or…" A wicked grin spread across his face, "Did she stay the night?"

"Jer!" I hissed.

"Well?"

"Of course she didn't." I insisted, "Do you think I could sneak her past my dad?"

he shrugged, still grinning.

"She picked me up this morning. It was also a surprise." I said adamantly.

"Well, are you going out again?"

"She offered to drive me to Seattle Saturday because she thinks my truck isn't up to it—does that count?"

"Yes." he nodded earnestly.

"Well, then, yes."

"W-o-w." he exaggerated the word into three syllables. "Edyth Cullen."

"I know," I agreed. 'Wow' didn't even cover it.

"Wait!" His hands flew up, palms toward me like he was stopping traffic. "She didn't stay the night, but has she kissed you?"

"No," I mumbled. "But… I think she wanted to."

he looked like he might explode with excitement.

"Do you think Saturday…?" he asked expectantly.

"I don't know. I doubt it." I could hear the disappointment in my own voice.

"So what did you talk about?" he pushed for more information in a whisper. Class had started but Mr. Varner wasn't paying close attention and we weren't the only ones still talking.

"I don't know, Jer, lots of stuff," I whispered back.

"Please, Bella," he begged. "Give mesomedetails."

"Well… okay, I've got one. You should have seen the waiter flirting with her—it was over the top. But Edyth didn't pay any attention to him at all." Let her make what she could of that.

"That's a good sign," he nodded. "Was he good looking?"

"Yeah—and probably nineteen or twenty."

"Even better. She must like you."

"Ithinkso, but it's hard to tell. She's always so cryptic," I threw that in for her benefit, sighing.

"I don't know how you're brave enough to be alone with her," he breathed.

"What? Why?" I was shocked, but he didn't understand my reaction.

"She's so… intimidating. I wouldn't know what to say to her." He made a face, probably remembering this morning or last night, when she'd turned the overwhelming force of her eyes on him.

"Honestly, I don't always know what to say when I'm around her." I admitted.

"Oh well. Sheisunbelievably gorgeous." Jeremy shrugged as if this excused any flaws.

"There's a lot more to her than that."

"Really? Like what?"

I wished I had let it go. Almost as much as I was hoping she'd been kidding about listening in.

"I can't explain it right… but she's more unbelievablebehindthe face." The vampire who wanted to be good—who ran around saving people's lives so she wouldn't be a monster… I stared toward the front of the room.

"Is thatpossible?" he giggled.

I didn't respond, I was falling into my own thoughts.

"So you like her, then?" he said, eagerly.

"Yes," I answered.

"I mean, do youreallylike her?" he urged.

"Yes," I said again, blushing. I hoped that detail wouldn't register in his thoughts.

He'd had enough with the single syllable answers. "Howmuchdo you like her?"

"Too much," I whispered back. "More than she likes me. But I don't see how I can help that." I sighed, one blush blending into the next.

Then, thankfully, Mr. Varner called on Jeremy for an answer.

He didn't get a chance to start on the subject again during class, and as soon as the bell rang, I took evasive action.

"In English, Makayla asked me if you said anything about Monday night," I told him.

"You're kidding! What did you say?!" he gasped, completely sidetracked.

"I told her you said you had a lot of fun— she looked pleased."

"Tell me exactly what she said, and your exact answer!"

We spent the rest of the walk dissecting sentence structures and most of Spanish on a minute description of Makayla's facial expressions. I wouldn't have helped draw it out for as long as I did if I wasn't worried about the subject returning to me.

And then the bell rang for lunch. As I jumped up out of my seat, shoving my books roughly in my bag, my uplifted expression must have tipped Jeremy off.

"You're not sitting with us today, are you?" he guessed with a sly grin.

"I don'tthinkso." I couldn't be sure that she wouldn't disappear inconveniently again.

But outside the door to our Spanish class, leaning against the wall— looking more gorgeous than anyone had a right to— Edyth was waiting for me. Jeremy took one look and started snickering. He poked me in the side, and departed.

"See you later, Bella." His voice sounded thoroughly amused. I had a feeling I would be getting a phone call from him tonight.

"Hello." Her voice was amused and irritated at the same time. She had been listening, it was obvious.

"Hi."

I couldn't think of anything else to say, and she didn't speak— biding her time, I presumed— so it was a quiet walk to the cafeteria. Walking with Edyth through the crowded lunchtime rush was a lot like my first day here; everyone stared.

She led the way into the line, still not speaking, though her eyes returned to my face every few seconds, their expression speculative. It seemed to me that irritation was winning out over amusement as the dominant emotion in her face. I fidgeted nervously with the zipper on my jacket.

She stepped up to the counter and filled a tray with food.

"What are you doing?" I objected. "You're not getting all that for me?"

She shook her head, stepping forward to buy the food.

"Half is for me, of course."

I raised one eyebrow.

She led the way to the same place we'd sat that one time before. From the other end of the long table, a group of seniors gazed at us in amazement as we sat across from each other. Edyth seemed oblivious.

"Take whatever you want," she said, pushing the tray toward me.

"I'm curious," I said as I picked up a taco, getting ready to take a bite, "what would you do if someone dared you to eat food?"

"You're always curious." She grimaced, shaking her head. She glared at me, holding my eyes as she took the taco from my hand. She took a deliberate bite out of it, chewed a mouthful, and then swallowed. I watched; eyes wide.

"If someone dared you to eat dirt, you could, couldn't you?" she asked.

I wrinkled my nose. "I did once… on a dare," I admitted. "It wasn't so bad."

She laughed. "I suppose I'm not surprised." Something over my shoulder seemed to catch her attention.

"Jeremy's analyzing everything I do—he'll break it down for you later." She handed the taco back to me. The mention of Jeremy brought a hint of her former irritation back to her features.

I took a bite of the taco, looking away, knowing she was about to start.

"So the waiter was attractive, was he?" she asked casually.

"He was good looking. You really didn't notice?"

"No. I wasn't paying attention tohim."

"Poor guy." I felt pleased.

"Something you said to Jeremy… well, it bothers me." She refused to be distracted. Her voice was husky, and she glanced up from under her lashes with troubled eyes.

"I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like. You shouldn't be eavesdropping," I responded honestly.

"I warned you I would be listening."

"And I warned you that you didn't want to know everything I was thinking."

"You did," she agreed, but her voice was still rough. "You aren't precisely right, though. I do want to know what you're thinking—everything. I just wish… that you wouldn't be thinking some things."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's quite a distinction."

"But that's not really the point at the moment."

"Then what is?" We were leaning toward each other across the table now. She had hee soft white hands folded under her chin; I leaned forward, my right hand cupped around my neck. I had to remind myself that we were in a crowded lunchroom, with probably many curious eyes on us. It was too easy to get wrapped up in our own private, tense little bubble.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" Her voice was barely above a whisper, leaning closer to me as she spoke, her dark golden eyes piercing.

I felt that tingling sensation again, sending currents down my back and limbs. I looked away in an attempt to collect myself.

"You're doing it again," I muttered.

Her eyes opened wide with surprise. "What?"

"Dazzling me," I admitted, trying to concentrate as I looked back at her.

"Oh." She frowned.

"It's not your fault," I sighed. "You can't help it."

"Are you going to answer the question?"

I looked down. "Yes."

"Yes, you are going to answer, or yes you really think that?" The irritation was rising in her voice.

"Yes, I really think that." I sighed. My eyes traced the pattern of the faux wood grains printed on the table laminate. The silence dragged on. I refused to be the one to always break these silences.

Finally she spoke, voice velvet soft. "You're wrong, Bella."

I glanced up to see that her eyes were gentle.

"You can't know that," I disagreed softly. I shook my head in doubt, thought my heart throbbed at her words and I wanted so badly to believe them.

"What makes you think so?" Her golden eyes were penetrating—trying desperately to read my mind; to find the truth.

I stared back, struggling with my thoughts, to find some way to explain. As I searched for the words, I could see her getting impatient; frustrated by my silence, and frustrated that she couldn't just read my mind and get her answer, she started to scowl. I lifted my hand from my neck, and held up one finger.

"Let me think," I insisted.

Her expression cleared, now that she was satisfied that I was planning to answer. I dropped my hand to the table, moving my left hand so that my palms were pressed together. I stared at my hands, twisting and untwisting my fingers, as I finally spoke.

"Well, aside from the obvious, sometimes…" I hesitated. "I can't be sure—Idon't know how to read minds—but sometimes it seems like you're trying to say goodbye when you're saying something else." That was the best way I could sum of the sensation of anguish I detected in her words and eyes at times.

"Perceptive," she whispered. I felt a sense of disappointment as she confirmed my fears. "That's exactly why you're wrong, though," she began to explain, but then her eyes narrowed. "What do you mean, 'the obvious'?"

"Well, I mean…," I sighed, "I'm absolutely ordinary. There's nothing particularly special about me. I'm not the only one in this school who finds you attractive, I'm not exceptionally talented at anything, I'm as interesting as the next girl, but I'm just ordinary—average. Aside from some unfortunate near-death experiences and a talent for tripping over my own feet, I'm not…special."

Her brow creased for a moment, deeply upset, then smoothed as her eyes took on a knowing look. "You don't see yourself very clearly, you know. I'll admit you are correct about the bad things," she chuckled blackly, "but you don't see how fascinating you really are."

I blinked a few times, "I don't believe that." I mumbled.

"Trust me just this once—you are the opposite of ordinary."

"Is that true? Or are you just fascinated with me because I'm the one person whose mind you can't read?" This was something that had been bothering me. I wasn't trying to be self-deprecating; I just genuinely felt that I was average. I was, for lack of a better word, normal. And Edyth was decidedlynot. So why, I had to wonder, would a beautiful vampire just randomly choose an average human? The most obvious reason was because Edyth couldn't read my mind.

Edyth stared at me, her expression incredulous.

"I'll admit it does frustrate me that I can't read your mind," she began slowly, "but believe me, Bella, you are so much more complicated than you give yourself credit for. You are intelligent and perceptive, you're remarkably mature," she started speaking quickly now, "You see those around you in a way most simply don't. You see the world in a way most are unable." She sighed, "When I realized I couldn't read your mind I began searching everyone else's minds to find out as much about you as I could. Everything I saw only made me sure that you are… one of a kind." She said finally. "And all those words are not enough to describe why you are anything but ordinary." She said finally, sounding almost frustrated.

My embarrassment was much stronger than my pleasure at the look that came into her eyes when she said all this. I sat for a moment, stunned. I could feel my heart beating wildly against my chest.

"But… why are you always trying to say goodbye? I'm not saying goodbye." I pointed out amidst my embarrassment.

"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. Don't you see how much it hurts me to say goodbye to you? Even if just for a night? I care the most, because if I can do it"—she shook her head, seeming to struggle with the thought—"if leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe."

I glared. "And you don't think I would do the same?"

"You'd never have to make the choice."

Abruptly, her unpredictable mood shifted again; a mischievous, devastating smile rearranged her features. "Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence."

"No one has tried to do away with me today," I reminded her, grateful for the lighter subject. I couldn't handle hearing more reasons why she found me 'the opposite of ordinary'—my heart was still pounding in my chest—and I didn't want to talk about goodbyes anymore.

"Yet," she added.

"Yes," I agreed. "Though I think maybe you're just looking for an excuse to be around me." I half-joked.

"Maybe I am." She smiled.

I turned bright red.

"I have another question for you." Her face was casual, and still smiling.

"Sure."

"Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get out of saying no to all your admirers?"

I made a face at the memory. "You know, I haven't forgiven you for the Taylor thing yet," I warned her. "It's your fault that she's deluded herself into thinking she's taking me to prom."

"Oh, she would have found a chance to ask you without me—I just really wanted to watch your face," she chuckled. I would have been more annoyed if her laughter wasn't so damn charming. "If I'd asked you, would you have turnedmedown?" She asked, still laughing to herself.

"I don't think I'll tell you." I said, curtly. "That's my revenge."

She started laughing all over again.

"Oh, you are cruel, aren't you?" her eyes were bright with amusement.

"Besides, as you like to point out; I have coordination issues. I'm a terrible dancer." I admitted.

"That wouldn't be a problem." She was very confident. "It's all in the leading." She could see that I was about to protest, and she cut me off. "But you never told me—are you resolved on going to Seattle, or do you mind if we do something different."

My mind raced with the many possibilities of 'something different.'

"I'm open to alternatives," I allowed. "But I do have a favor to ask."

She looked wary, as she always did when I asked an open-ended question.

"What?"

"Can I drive?"

She frowned. "Why?"

"Well, mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle, he specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If he asked again, I probably wouldn't lie, but I don't think hewillask again, and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject unnecessarily. And also, if I'm being brutally honest here, your driving frightens me."

She rolled her eyes. "Of all the things about me that could frighten you, you worry about my driving." She shook her head in disbelief, but then her eyes were serious again. "Won't you want to tell your father that you're spending the day with me?" There was an undercurrent to her question that I didn't understand.

"With Charlie, less is always more." I said, trying to be vague. Charlie and I had never discussed my love life—I had never had one to discuss, really—but Charlie had thought that maybe I was going with Jer or Allen to the prom so clearly we had never talked about what my theoretical love life would evenlooklike and I knew I couldn't talk about Edyth without betraying my true feelings about her to Charlie.I didn't know if he was homophobic or anything. And the possibility of him being from a small town and having small town views like that made me not wanna come out to him.

"Where are we going, anyway?" I asked, trying to change the subject.

"The weather will be nice, so I'll be staying out of the public eye… and you can stay with me, if you'd like to." Again, she was leaving the choice up to me.

"And you'll show me what you meant, about the sun?" I asked, excited by the idea of unraveling another of the unknowns.

"Yes." She smiled, and then paused. "But if you don't want to be… alone with me, I'd still rather you didn't go to Seattle by yourself. I shudder to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size."

I was miffed. "Phoenix is three times bigger than Seattle—just in population. In physical size—"

"But apparently," she interrupted me, "your number wasn't up in Phoenix. So I'd rather you stayed near me." Her eyes did that unfair smoldering thing again.

"Again, I think you're just trying to make excuses to be together."

She smiled, guiltily.

"And as It happens," I continued, "I don't mind being alone with you."

"I know," She sighed, brooding now. "You should tell Charlie, though."

"Why in the world would I do that?"

Her eyes were suddenly fierce. "To give me some small incentive to bring you back."

She exhaled angrily, and looked away.

"You really should learn to control your temper." I glared at her.

Her eyes snapped to me, she looked surprised.

"I beg your pardon?" She sounded genuinely surprised.

"You should learn to control your temper." I said it again, with conviction.

She started to look angry again. I imagine it wasn't often anyone called her out on her temper. Finally, she sighed and started to chuckle to herself.

"You really are remarkable, Bella." She smiled fondly at me.

I blushed all over again, "Let's talk about something else." I stammered.

"What do you want to talk about?" She asked.

I glanced around us, making sure we were well out of anyone's hearing. As I cast my eyes around the room, I caught the eyes of her sister, Alice, staring at me. The others were looking at Edyth. I looked away swiftly, back to her, and I asked the first thing that came to mind.

"Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend…to hunt? Charlie said it wasn't a good place to hike, because of bears."

She stared at me as if I was missing something very obvious.

"Bears?" I gasped, and she smirked. "You know, bears are not in season." I added sternly, to hide my shock.

"If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons," she informed me.

She watched my face with enjoyment as that slowly sank in.

"Bears?" I repeated with difficulty.

"Grizzly is Emmett's favorite." Her voice was still off-hand, but her eyes were scrutinizing my reaction. I tried to pull myself together.

"Hmmm," I said, taking another bite of the apple as an excuse to look down. I chewed slowly, and then took a long drink of Coke without looking up.

"So," I said after a moment, finally meeting her now-anxious gaze. "What's your favorite?"

She raised an eyebrow and the corners of her mouth turned down in disapproval.

"Mountain lion."

"Ah," I said in a politely disinterested tone, looking for my soda again.

"Of course," she said, and her tone mirrored mine, "we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting. We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators—ranging as far away as we need. There's always plenty of deer and elk here, and they'll do, but here's the fun in that?" She smiled teasingly.

"Where indeed," I murmured around another bite of apple.

"Early spring is Emmett's favorite bear season—they're just coming out of hibernation, so they're more irritable." She smiled at some remembered joke.

"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear," I agreed, nodding.

She snickered, shaking her head. "Tell me what you're really thinking, please."

"Honestly, I'm trying to picture it—but I can't," I admitted. "How do you hunt a bear without weapons?"

"Oh, we have weapons." She flashed her bright teeth in a brief, threatening smile. I fought back a shiver before it could expose me. "Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you've ever seen a bear attack on television, you should be able to visualize Emmett hunting."

I couldn't stop the next shiver that flashed down my spine. I peeked across the cafeteria toward Emmett, grateful that he wasn't looking my way. The thick bands of muscle that wrapped his arms and torso were somehow even more menacing now.

Edyth followed my gaze and chuckled. "Don't let Royal catch you staring. He's prone to jealousy." She was probably just teasing me, but I couldn't be sure.

My eyes snapped back to Edyth, unnerved.

"Are you like a bear, too?" I asked in a low voice.

"More like the lion, or so they tell me," she said lightly. "Perhaps our preferences are indicative."

I tried to smile. "Perhaps," I repeated. But my mind was filled with opposing images that I couldn't merge together. "Is that something I might get to see?"

"Absolutely not!" Her face turned even whiter than usual, and her eyes were suddenly furious. I leaned back, stunned and—though I'd never admit it to her—frightened by her reaction.

"Temper, Edyth!" I snapped in response.

She leaned back against her chair, and folded her arms across her chest.

"So, what? Too scary for me?" I asked when I could control my voice again.

"If that were it, I would take you out tonight," she said, her voice cutting. "Youneeda healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you."

"Then why?" I pressed, trying to ignore her poor attitude.

She glared at me for a long minute.

"Later," she finally said with a sigh. She was on her feet in one lithe movement. "We're going to be late."

I glanced around, startled to see that she was right and the cafeteria was nearly vacant. When I was with her, the time and the place just seemed not to matter—like we were in our own world. I jumped up, grabbing my backpack from the back of my chair.

"Later, then," I agreed. I wouldn't forget

 **yeah theres alot more added to this chapter as you can tell. and i mean i started this cuz i wanted a twilight i could relate to and yes i am adding some sexual tension to make it more believable cuz i mean in the book there is like no tension and they are supposed to be inlove. and also in this version Bella actually cares about her human friends also**


	21. interactions Edyth pov

CNN broke the story first.

I was glad it hit the news before I had to leave for school, anxious to her how the humans would phrase the account, and what amount of attention it would garner.

Luckily, it was a heavy news day. There was an earthquake in South America and a political kidnapping in the Middle East. So it ended up only earning a few seconds, a few sentences, and one grainy picture.

"Alonzo Christopher Wallace, suspected serial rapist and murderer wanted in the states of Texas and Oklahoma, was apprehended last night in Portland, Oregon thanks to an anonymous tip. Wallace was found unconscious in an alley early this morning, just a few yards from a police station. Officials are unable to tell us at this time whether he will be extradited to Houston or Oklahoma City to stand trial."

The picture was unclear, a mug shot, and he'd had a thick beard at the time of the photograph. Even if Bella saw it, she would probably not recognize him. I hoped she wouldn't; it would make her afraid needlessly.

"The coverage here in town will be light. It's too far away to be considered of local interest," Alice told me. "It was a good call to have Carlisle take him out of state."

I nodded. Bella didn't seem to watch much TV regardless, and I hoped her father didn't pay much attention to news channels.

I'd done what I could. The monster no longer hunted, and I was not a murderer. Not recently, anyway. I'd been right to trust Carlisle, as much as I still wished the monster had not gotten off quite so easily. I caught myself hoping he would be extradited to Texas, where the death penalty was so popular…

No. That didn't matter. I would put this behind me, and concentrate on what was most important.

I'd left Bella's room less than an hour ago. I was already aching to see her again.

"Alice, do you mind—"

She cut me off. "Royal will drive. He'll act put out, but you know he'll enjoy the excuse to show off his car." Alice trilled a laugh.

I grinned at her. "See you at school."

Alice sighed, and my grin became a grimace.

I know, I know,she thought. Not yet. I'll wait until you're ready for Bella to know me. You should know, thought, this isn't just me being selfish. Bella's going to like me, too.

I didn't answer her as I hurried out the door. That was a different way of viewing the situation. Would Bella want to know Alice? To have a vampire for a friend?

Knowing Bella… that idea probably wouldn't bother her in the slightest.

I frowned to myself. What Bella wanted and what was best for Bella were two very separate things.

I started to feel uneasy as I parked my car in Bella's driveway. The human adage said that things looked different in the morning—that things changed when you slept on them. Would I look different to Bella in the weak light of a foggy day? More sinister or less sinister than I had in the blackness of night? Had the truth sunk in while she slept? Would she finally be afraid?

Her dreams had been peaceful, though, last night. When she'd spoken my name, time and time again, she'd smiled. More than once she'd murmured a plea for me to stay. Would that mean nothing today?

I waited nervously, listening to the sounds of her inside the house—the fast, stumbling footsteps on the stairs, the sharp rip of a tin foil wrapper, the contents of the refrigerator crashing against each other when the door slammed. It sounded like she was in a hurry? Anxious to get to school? The thought made me smile, hopeful again.

I looked at the clock. I supposed that—taking in account the velocity of her decrepit truck must limit her to—she was running late.

Bella rushed out of the house, her book bag sliding off her shoulder, her hair a disheveled mess of curls. The thick green sweater she wore was not enough to keep her lean shoulders from hunching against the cold fog.

The long sweater was too big for her, unflattering. It masked her lean figure, turning her form into a shapeless jumble. I appreciated this almost as much as I wished that that she had worn something more like the deep blue shirt she'd worn last night… the fabric had clung to her skin in such an appealing way, cut low enough to reveal the mesmerizing way her collar bones curled away from the hollow beneath her throat. The blue had flowed like water along the subtle shape of her body…

It was better—essential—that I kept my thoughts far, far away from that shape, so I was grateful to the unbecoming sweater she wore. I couldn't afford to make mistakes, and it would be a monumental mistake to dwell on the strange hungers that thoughts of her lips… her skin… her body… were shaking loose inside of me. Hungers that had evaded me for a hundred years. But I could not allow myself to think of touching her, because that was impossible.

I would break her.

Bella turned away from the door, in such a hurry that she nearly ran right by my car without noticing it.

Then she skidded to a stop, her knees locking like a startled colt's. Her bag slid further down her arm, and her eyes flew wide as they focused on the car.

I got out, taking no care to move at a human speed, and opened the passenger door for her. I would not try to deceive her anymore—when we were alone, at least, I would be myself.

She looked up at me, startled again as I seemingly materialized out of the fog. And then the surprise in her eyes changed to something else, and I was no longer afraid—or hopeful—that her feelings for me had changed in the course of the night. Warmth, wonder, fascination, all swimming in the molten blue of her eyes.

"Do you want a ride with me today?" I asked. Unlike dinner last night, I would let her choose. From now on, it must always be her choice.

"Yes, thank you," she murmured, climbing into my car without hesitation.

Would it ever cease to thrill me, that I was the one she was saying yes to? I doubted it.

I flashed around the car, eager to join her. She showed no sign of being shocked by my sudden reappearance.

The happiness I felt when she sat beside me had no precedent. As much as I enjoyed the love and companionship of my family, despite the various entertainments and distractions the world had to offer, I had never been happy like this. Even knowing that it was wrong, that this couldn't possibly end well, could not keep the smile from my face for long.

My jacket was folded over the headrest of her seat. I saw her eyeing it.

"I brought the jacket for you," I told her. That was my excuse, had I needed to provide one, for showing up uninvited this morning. It was cold. She had no jacket. Surely this was an acceptable form of chivalry. "I didn't want you to get sick or something."

"I'm not quite that delicate," she said, staring at my chest rather than my face, as if she were hesitant to meet my eyes. But she put the coat on before I had to resort to pleading or coaxing.

"Aren't you?" I muttered to myself.

She stared out at the road as I accelerated toward the school. I could only stand the silence for a few seconds. I had to know what her thoughts were this morning. So much had changed between us since the last time the sun was up.

"What, no twenty questions today?" I asked, keeping it light again.

She smiled, seeming glad that I'd broached the subject. "Do my questions bother you?"

"Not as much as your reactions do," I told her honestly, smiling in response to her smile.

Her mouth turned down. "Do I react badly?"

"No, that's not the problem. You take everything so coolly—it's unnatural. It makes me wonder what you're really thinking." Of course, everything she did or didn't do made me wonder that.

"I always tell you what I'm really thinking."

"You edit."

Her teeth pressed into her lip again. She didn't seem to notice when she did this—it was an unconscious response to tension. "Not enough."

Just those words were enough to have my curiosity raging. What did she purposefully mean to keep from me?

"Enough to drive me insane," I said.

She hesitated, and then whispered, "You don't want to hear it."

I had to think for a moment, run through our entire conversation last night, word for word, before I made the connection. Perhaps it took so much concentration because I couldn't imagine anything I wouldn't want her to say to me. And then—because the tone of her voice was the same as last night; there was suddenly pain there again—I remembered. Once, I had asked her not to speak her thoughts.Never say that, I'd all but snarled at her. I had made her cry…

Was this what she kept from me? The depth of her feelings about me? That my being a monster didn't matter to her, and that she thought it was too late for her to change her mind?

I was unable to speak, because the joy and pain were too strong for words, the conflict between them too wild to allow for a coherent response. It was silent in the car except for the steady rhythms of her heart and lungs.

"Where's the rest of your family?" she asked suddenly.

I took a deep breath—registering the scent in the car with true pain for the first time; I was getting used to this, I realized with satisfaction—and forced myself to be casual again.

"They took Royal's car." I parked in the open spot next to the car in question. I hid my smile as I watched her eyes widen. "Ostentatious, isn't it?"

"Um, wow. If he has that, why does he ride with you?"

Royal would have enjoyed Bella's reaction… if he were being objective about Bella, which probably wouldn't happen.

"Like I said, it's ostentatious. Wetryto blend in."

"You don't succeed," she told me, and then she laughed a carefree laugh.

The blithe, wholly untroubled sound of her laughter warmed my hollow chest even as it made my head swim with doubt.

"So why did Royal drive today if it's more conspicuous?" she wondered.

"Hadn't you noticed? I'm breakingallthe rules now."

My answer should have been mildly frightening—so, of course, Bella smiled at it.

She didn't wait for me to open her door, just like last night. I had to feign normality here at school—so I couldn't move fast enough to prevent this—but I hoped she would get used to being treated with more courtesy, and get used to it soon.

I walked as close to her as I dared, watching carefully for any sign that my proximity upset her. Twice her hand twitched toward me and then she would snatch it back. It looked like she wanted to touch me… My breath sped.

"Why do you have cars like that at all? If you're looking for privacy?" she asked as we walked.

"An indulgence," I admitted. "We all like to drive fast."

"Figures," she mumbled, rolling her eyes.

She didn't look up to see my answering grin.

Oh my god, oh my god. Yes! Go, Bella! You sly dog! You've been holding out on me, you ass!

Jremy's mental cheering interrupted my thoughts. He was waiting for Bella, taking refuge from the rain under the edge of the cafeteria's roof, with Bella's winter jacket over his arm. His eyes were wide with excitement.

Bella noticed him, too, in the next moment, a faint pink touched her cheek when Bella registered Jeremy's expression. The thoughts in Jeremy's headwerefairly clear on his face.

"Hey, Jer. Thanks for remembering," Bella greeted him. She reached out for the jacket and Jeremy handed it to her wordlessly.

I should be polite to Bella's friends, and after all, Jeremy was starting to grow on me. "Good morning, Jeremy."

Whoa…

Jeremy's eyes popped even wider. It was strange and amusing… and, honestly, a bit embarrassing… to realize how much being near Bella had softened me. It seemed like no one was afraid of me anymore. If Emmett found out about this, he would be laughing for the next century.

"Er… hi," Jeremy mumbled, and his eyes flashed to Bella's face, full of significance. "I guess I'll see you in Trig."

You are so going to tell me everything. I'm not taking no for an answer. Details. I have to have details. Edyth freaking CULLEN!! Oh my god!

Bella's mouth twitched. "Yeah, I'll see you then."

Jeremy's thoughts ran wild as he hurried to his first class, peeking back at us now and then.

The whole story. I'm not accepting anything less. Did they plan to meet up last night? Are they dating? How long? How could Bella keep this a secret? Why would she want to? It can't be a casual thing—she has to be seriously into her. Is there any other option? I have to know! I can't stand not knowing! I wonder if Bella's made out with her? Oh, my god, that's so hot! Ugh…Jeremy's thoughts were suddenly disjointed, and he let wordless fantasies swirl through his head. I quickly worked to block his speculations as his fantasies involving Bella and myself quickly became more and more… explicit.

It couldn't be like that. And yet I… I wanted…

I resisted making the admission, even to myself. How many wrong ways would I want Bella in? Which one would end up killing her?

"What are you going to tell him?" I asked Bella.

"Hey!" she whispered fiercely. "I thought you couldn't read my mind!"

"I can't." I stared at her, surprised, trying to make sense of her words. Ah—we must have been thinking the same thing at the same time. Hmm… I rather liked that. "However, I can read his—he'll be waiting to ambush you in class."

Bella groaned, and then let the jacket slide off her shoulders. I didn't realize that she was giving it back at first—I wouldn't have asked for it; I would rather she kept it… a token—so I was too slow to offer her my help. She handed me the jacket, and put her arms through her own, without looking up to see that my hands were extended to assist. I frowned at that, and then controlled my expression before she noticed it.

"So what are you going to tell him?"

"A little help? What does he want to know?"

I smiled, and shook my head. I wanted to hear what she was thinking without a prompt. "That's not fair."

Her eyes tightened. "No, you not sharing what you know—now that's not fair."

Right—she didn't like double standards.

We got to the door of her class—where I would have to leave her; I wondered idly if Ms. Cope would be more accommodating about a switch in the schedule of my English class… I made myself focus. I could be fair.

"He wants to know if we're secretly dating," I said slowly. "And he wants to know how you feel about me."

Her eyes were wide—not startled, but ingenious now. They were open to me, readable. She was playing innocent.

"Great," she murmured. "What should I say?"

"Hmmm." She always tried to make me give away more than he did. I pondered how to respond.

A wayward strand of her hair, slightly damp from the fog, fell forward onto her forehead. My eyes followed the curl down her forehead, following the line of her nose, to her full lips, where my eyes lingered…

I reached for the strand carefully, not touching her skin—the morning was chill enough without my touch—and smoothed it back into place on her head so that it wouldn't distract me again. I remembered when Makayla Newton had touched her, and my jaw flexed at the memory. She had flinched away from her then. Her reaction now was nothing the same; instead, there was a slight widening of her eyes, a rush of blood under her skin, and a sudden, uneven thumping of her heart.

I tried to hide my smile as I answered her question.

"I suppose you could say yes to the first… if you don't mind, that is." Her choice, always her choice.

"I… I don't mind," she whispered. Her heart had not found its normal rhythm yet.

"And as for his other question…" I couldn't hide my smile now. "Well I'll be listening to hear the answer to that one myself."

Let Bella considerthat. I held back my laugh as shock crossed her face.

"I'll see you at lunch," I said gently. I turned quickly before she could ask for any more answers. I had a difficult time not giving her whatever she asked for. And I wanted to hear her thoughts, not mine.

As I paced away I was vaguely aware of the shocked and speculative thoughts that swirled around me—eyes bouncing back and forth between Bella's face and my retreating figure. I paid them little attention. I couldn't concentrate. It was hard enough to keep my feet moving at an acceptable speed as I crossed the soggy grass to my next class. I wanted to run—really run, so fast that I would disappear, so fast that it would feel like I was flying. Part of me was flying already.

I put the jacket on when I got to class, letting her fragrance swim thick around me. I would burn now—let the scent desensitize me—and then it would be easier to ignore it later, when I was with her again at lunch…

It was a good thing that my teachers no longer bothered to call on me. Today might have been the one day that they would have caught me out, unprepared and answerless. My mind was in so many places this morning; only my body was in the classroom.

Of course I was watching, Bella. That was becoming natural—as automatic as breathing. I heard her conversation with a demoralized Makayla Newton. Bella quickly direction the conversation to Jeremy, and I grinned so wide that Rob Sawyer, who sat at the desk to my right, flinched visibly and slid deeper into his seat, away from me.

Ugh. Creepy.

Well, I hadn't lost it entirely.

I was also monitoring Jeremy loosely, watching him refine his questions for Bella. I could barely wait for fourth period, ten times as eager and anxious as the curious human boy who wanted fresh gossip.

And I was also listening to Allen Weber.

I had not forgotten the gratitude I felt to him—for thinking nothing but kind things toward Bella in the first place, and then for his help last night. So I waited through the morning, looking for something that he wanted. I assumed it would be easy; like any other human, there must be some bauble or toy he wanted particularly. Several, probably. I would deliver something anonymously and call us even.

But Allen proved almost as unaccommodating as Bella with her thoughts. He was oddly content for a teenager. Happy. Perhaps this was the reason for his unusual kindness—he was one of those rare people who had what they wanted and wanted what they had. If he wasn't paying attention to his teachers and his notes, he was thinking of the twin little brothers he was taking to the beach this weekend—anticipating their excitement with an almost Fatherly pleasure. He cared for them often, but was not resentful of this fact… it was very sweet.

But not really helpful to me.

There had to be something he wanted. I would just have to keep looking. But later. It was time for Bella's trig class with Jeremy.

I wasn't watching where I was going as I made my way to English. Jeremy was already in his seat, both his feet tapping impatiently against the floor as he waited for Bella to arrive.

Conversely, once I settled into my assigned seat in the classroom, I became utterly still. I had to remind myself to fidget now and then. To keep up the charade. It was difficult, my thoughts were so focused on Jeremy's. I hoped he would pay attention, really try to read Bella's face for me.

Jeremy's tapping intensified when Bella walked into the room.

She looks… glum. Why? How could she not be over the moon right now? I have so many questions I can't even begin…

Bella's face didn't look glum, it looked reluctant. She was worried—she knew I would hear all of this. I smiled to myself.

"Tell me everything!"Jeremy begged while Bella was still removing her jacket to hang it on the back of her seat. She was moving with deliberation, unwilling.

Oh, it's got to be good if she's being so hesitant.

"What do you want to know?"Bella stalled as she took her seat.

"What happened last night?"

"She bought me dinner, and then she drove me home."

And then? C'mon, Swan, there has to be more than that! She's got to be hiding something.

"How did you get home so fast?"

I watched Bella roll her eyes at the skeptical Jeremy.

"She drives like a maniac. It was terrifying."

She smiled a tiny smile, and I laughed out loud, interrupting Mr. Mason's announcements. I tried to turn my laugh into a cough, but no one was fooled. Mr. Mason shot me an irritated look, but I didn't even bother to listen to the thought behind it. I was hearing Jeremy.

Huh. Sounds like she's telling the truth. Why is she making me pull this out of her, word by word? I would be bragging at the top of my lungs if it were me.

"Was it like a date—did you tell her to meet your there?"

Jeremy watched surprise cross Bella's expression, and was disappointed at how genuine it seemed.

"No—I was very surprised to see her there,"Bella told him.

What is going on?? "But she picked you up for school today?" There has to be more to the story—Oh, my god, I wonder… "Or… did she stay the night?"

Bella's face went crimson."Jer!"She hissed, her embarrassment plain on her face.

"Well?" Please say yes, please say yes.

"Of course she didn't."Bella insisted, though it wasn't true. At least not how Jeremy meant. Bella continued,"Do you think I could sneak her past my dad?"

I had a rather easy time sneaking past Chief Swan, actually.

Okay, so maybe it's not that, but still…Jeremy shrugged, grinning widely.

"She picked me up this morning. It was also a surprise."Bella assured him.

"Well, are you going out again?"Jeremy probed.

"She offered to drive me to Seattle Saturday because she thinks my truck isn't up to it—does that count?"

Ooh, this just got interesting. There must be something there on her side, for sure. Bella, you lucky girl!

"Yes."Jeremy answered Bella's question.

"Well, then,"Bella concluded."Yes."

"W-o-w…"Jeremy overdramatically stretched out the word,"Edyth Cullen."Bella has to like her back, she has to! This is major.

"I know,"Bella sighed.

The tone of her voice encouraged Jeremy.Finally—she sounds like she gets it! I mean, seriously, Bella!

"Wait!"Jeremy said, suddenly remembering his most vital question."She didn't stay the night, but has she kissed you?" Please say yes. And then describe every second.

"No,"Bella mumbled, and then she looked down at her hands, her face falling.

Damn. But the way she looks at Bella… Poor Bella, she looks so bummed.

I frowned.Bella did look upset about something, but it couldn't be disappointment like Jeremy assumed. Bella couldn't want that. Not knowing what she knew. She couldn't want to be that close to my teeth. For all she knew, I had fangs.

I shuddered.

"But…"Bella said suddenly, looking back at Jeremy with a spark in her eyes."I think she wanted to."

The subtle excitement in Bella's eyes… No, that's impossible. Of course, she could read my own desires—she missed nothing. But, surely, she didn't actually want me to… Did she?

Jeremy's mind was an explosion of excitement."Do you think Saturday…?"he prodded.

Bella looked frustrated again as she said,"I don't know. I doubt it."

She doubts it? No way! They have to kiss! They have to! It would be so hot!

Was it because I was watching all this through the filter of Jeremy's perceptions that it seemed like Jeremy was right? That it would be… a good thing?

For a half-second I was distracted by the idea, the impossibility of what it would be like to kiss Bella. My lips to her lips, cold stone to warm, yielding silk…

And then she dies.

I shook my head, wincing, and made myself pay attention.

"So what did you talk about?" Did you talk to her, or did you make her drag every ounce of information out of you like this?

I smiled ruefully. Jeremy wasn't far off.

"I don't know, Jer, lots of stuff."

Oh, yes, a lot. I smiled wider.

Oh, c'MON. "Please, Bella! Give me some details."

Bella deliberated for a moment.

"Well… okay, I've got one. You should have seen the server flirting with her—it was over the top. But Edyth didn't pay any attention to him at all."

What a strange detail to share. I was surprised Bella had even noticed. It seemed a very inconsequential thing.

Ooh, good… "That's a good sign. Was he good looking?"

Hmm. Jeremy thought more of it than I did. I wonder why?

"Yeah,"Bella told him."And probably nineteen or twenty."

Jeremy was momentarily distracted by a memory of Makayla on his date Monday night—Makayla being a little too friendly with a waitress who Jeremy did not consider pretty at all. He shoved the memory away and returned, stifling his irritation, to his quest for details.

"Even better. She must like you."

"I think so,"Bella said slowly, and I was on the edge of my seat, my body rigidly still."But it's hard to tell. She's always so cryptic."

I must not have been as transparently obvious and out of control as I'd thought. Still… observant as she was… How could she not realize that I was in love with her? I sifted through our conversation, almost surprised that I hadn't said the words out loud. It had felt like that knowledge had been the subtext of every word between us.

Wow. How do you sit there across from a female model and make conversation? "I don't know how you're brave enough to be alone with her,"Jeremy said.

Shock flashed across Bella's face."What? Why?"

Weird reaction. What does she think I meant? "She's so…" What's the right word? "Intimidating. I wouldn't know what to say to her." I couldn't even speak English to her today, and all she said was good morning. I must have sounded like such an idiot.

Bella smiled."Honestly, I don't always know what to say when I'm around her."

She must be trying to make Jeremy feel better. She was almost unnaturally self-possessed when we were together.

"Oh well,"Jeremy sighed."She is unbelievably gorgeous."

Bella's face suddenly changed. Her eyes flashed the same way they did when she resented some injustice. Jeremy didn't process the change in her expression.

"There's a lot more to her than that,"Bella insisted.

Oooh. Now we're getting somewhere. "Really? Like what?"

Bella gnawed her lip for a moment."I can't explain it right,"she finally said."But she's more unbelievable behind the face." She looked away from Jeremy, her eyes slightly unfocused as if she was staring at something very far away.

The feeling I felt now was loosely similar to how it felt when Carlisle or Esme praised me beyond what I deserved. Similar, but more intense, more consuming.

If what's behind is even half as good as her face then Bella is really in trouble! I can't imagine anything better than that face, though! "Is that possible?"Jeremy snickered.

Bella didn't turn. She continued to stare into the distance, ignoring Jeremy.

A normal person would be gloating. Maybe if I keep the questions simple she'll give me something… "So you like her, then?"

I was rigid again.

Bella didn't look at Jeremy."Yes."

"I mean, do you really like her?"

"Yes."

Look at that blush!

I was.

"How much do you like her?"Jeremy demanded.

The English room could have gone up in flames and I wouldn't have noticed.

Bella's face was bright red now—I could almost feel the heat from the mental picture.

"Too much,"she whispered."More than she likes me. But I don't see how I can help that."

Shoot! What did Mr. Varner just ask? "Um—which number, Mr. Varner?"

It was good that Jeremy could no longer quiz Bella. I needed a minute.

What on earth was that girl thinkingnow?More than she likes me?How did she come up withthat?But I don't see how I can help that?What was that supposed to mean? I couldn't fit a rational explanation to the words. They were practically senseless.

It seemed like I couldn't take anything for granted. Obvious things, things that made perfect sense, somehow got twisted up and turned backwards in that bizarre brain of hers.More than she likes me? Maybe I shouldn't rule out the institution just yet.

I glared at the clock, gritting my teeth. How could mere minutes feel so impossibly long to an immortal? Where was my perspective?

My jaw was tight throughout Mr. Varner's entire trigonometry lesson. I heard more of that than the lecture in my own class. Bella and Jeremy didn't speak again, but Jeremy peeked at Bella several times, and once her face was brilliant scarlet again for no apparent reason.

Lunch couldn't come fast enough.

I wasn't sure if Jeremy could get some of the answers I was waiting for when the class was over, but Bella was quicker than he was.

"In English, Makayla asked me if you said anything about Monday night,"Bella said, a smile pulling up at the corners of her lips. I understood this for what it was—offence as the best defense.

Makayla asked about me?Joy made Jeremy's mind suddenly even more chaotic than it usually was."You're kidding! What did you say?"

"I told her you said you had a lot o fun—she looked pleased."

"Tell me exactly what she said, and your exact answer!"

That was all I was going to get from Jeremy today, clearly. Bella was smiling like she was thinking the same thing. Like she'd won the round.

Well, lunch would be another story. I would have better success getting answers out of her than Jeremy, I would make sure of that.

I could hardly bear to check in occasionally with Jeremy through the fourth hour. I had no patience for his obsessive thoughts of Makayla Newton. I'd had more than enough of her in the last two weeks. She was lucky to be alive.

I moved apathetically though gym class with Alice, the way we always moved when it came to physical activity with humans. She was my teammate, naturally. It was the first day of badminton. I sighed with boredom, swinging the racket in slow motion to tap the birdie back to the other side. Logan Mallory was on the other team; he missed. Alice was twirling racket like a baton, staring at the ceiling.

We all hated gym, Emmett especially. Throwing games was an affront to his personal philosophy. Gym seemed worse today than usual—I felt just as irritated as Emmett always did.

Before my head could explode with impatience, Coach Clapp called the games and sent us out early. I was ridiculously grateful that he'd skipped breakfast—a fresh attempt to diet—and the consequent hunger had him in a hurry to leave campus to find a greasy lunch somewhere. He promised himself he would start over tomorrow…

This gave me enough time to get to the math building before Bella's class ended.

Enjoy yourself,Alice thought as she headed off to meet Jasper.Just a few days more to be patient. I suppose you won't say hi to Bella for me, will you?

I shook my head, exasperated. Were all psychics so smug?

Just so you know, it's going to be sunny on both sides of the sound this weekend. You might want to rearrange your plans.

I sighed as I continued in the opposite direction. Smug, but definitely useful.

I leaned against the wall by the door, waiting. I was close enough that I could hear Jeremy's voice through the bricks as well as his thoughts.

"You're not sitting with us today, are you?She looks so excited! It's so cute! I bet there's tons she didn't tell me.

"I don' t think so" Bella answered, oddly unsure.

Hadn't I promised to spend lunch with her? What was she thinking?

They came out of class together, and both of their eyes widened when they saw me. Jeremy snickered and poked Bella in the ribs.

Nice! Oh, yeah, there's more going on here than she's telling me. Maybe I'll call her tonight… Unless she's busy… Ha! Bella is the luckiest girl in the whole world, I swear.

"See you later, Bella."

Bella walked toward me, pausing a step away, still unsure. Her skin was pink across her cheekbones.

I knew her well enough now to be sure that there was no fear behind her hesitation. Apparently, this was about some gulf she imagined between her feelings and mine.More than she likes me.Absurd!

"Hello," I said, my voice a tad curt.

Her face got brighter. "Hi."

She didn't seem inclined to say anything else, so I led the way to the cafeteria and she walked silently beside me.

The jacket had worked—her scent was not the blow it usually was. It was just an intensification of the pain I already felt. I could ignore it more easily than I once would have believed possible.

Bella was restless as we waited in line, toying absently with the zipper on her jacket and shifting nervously from foot to foot. She glanced at me often, but whenever she met my gaze, she looked down as if she were embarrassed. Was this because so many people were staring at us? Maybe she could hear the loud whispers—the gossip was verbal as well as mental today.

Or maybe she realized, from my expression, that she was in trouble.

She didn't say anything until I was assembling her lunch. I didn't know what she liked—not yet—so I grabbed one of everything.

"What are you doing?" she objected in a low voice. "You're not getting all that for me?"

I shook my head, and shoved the tray up to the register. "Half is for me, of course."

She raised one eyebrow skeptically, but said nothing more as I paid for the food and escorted her to the table we'd sat at last week before her disastrous experience with blood typing. It seemed like much more than a few days. Everything was different now.

She sat across from me again. I pushed the tray toward her.

"Take whatever you want," I encouraged.

She picked up a taco and twisted it in her hands, a speculative look on her face.

"I'm curious."

What a surprise.

"What would you do if someone dared you to eat food?" she continued in a low voice that wouldn't carry to human ears. Immortal ears were another matter, if those ears were paying attention. I probably should have mentioned something to them earlier…

"You're always curious," I complained. Oh well. It wasn't like I hadn't had to eat before. It was part of the charade. An unpleasant part.

I reached for the taco in her hands, and held her eyes while I brought it to my mouth and bit off a small bite of it. It was slimy and chunky and repulsive as any other human food. I chewed swiftly and swallowed, trying to keep the grimace off my face. The gob of food moved slowly and uncomfortably down my throat. I sighed as I thought of how I would have to choke it back up later. Disgusting.

Bella's expression was shocked. Impressed.

I wanted to roll my eyes. Of course we would have perfected such deceptions.

"If someone dared you to eat dirt, you could, couldn't you?"

Her nose wrinkled and she smiled. "I did once… on a dare. It wasn't so bad."

I laughed. "I suppose I'm not surprised."

They look comfortable together, don't they? Good body language. I'll give Bella my take later. Edyths leaning toward her just the way she should, if she's interested. She looks interested. She looks… perfect.Jeremy sighed.God, they're gonna be such a hot couple.

I met Jeremy's curious eyes, and he looked away nervously, giggling nervously to the girl next to him.

I wonder if Makayla and I make such an attractive couple? Doubtful…

"Jeremy's analyzing everything I do," I informed Bella. "He'll break it down for you later."

I handed the taco back to her, wondering how best to begin. My former frustration flared as the words repeated in my head:More than she likes me. But I don't see how I can help that.

She took a bite from the taco. It amazed me how trusting she was. Of course, she didn't know that I was venomous—not that sharing food would hurt her. Still, I expected her to treat me differently. As something other. She never did—at least not in a negative way…

I would start off gently.

"So the server was attractive, was he?"

She raised the eyebrow again. "He was good looking. You really didn't notice?"

As if anyone could hope to capture my attention from Bella. Absurd, again.

"No, I wasn't paying attention tohim." I was more distracted by deep cut of her shirt… the way it clung to her chest…

Good thing she'd worn that ugly sweater today.

"Poor guy," Bella said, smiling.

She liked that I hadn't found the server interesting in any way. I could understand that. How many times had I imagined crippling Makayla Newton in the biology room?

She couldn't honestly believe that her human feelings, the fruition of seventeen short mortal years, could be stronger than the immortal passions that had been building up in me for over a century.

"Something you said to Jeremy…" I couldn't keep my voice casual. "Well, it bothers me."

She was immediately defensive. "I'm not surprised you heard something you didn't like. You shouldn't be eavesdropping."

How did that saying go? Eavesdroppers never hear good of themselves?

"I warned you I would be listening."

"And I warned you that you didn't want to know everything I was thinking."

Ah, she was thinking of when I'd made her cry. Remorse made my voice thicker. "You did. You aren't precisely right, though. I do want to know what you're thinking—everything. I just wish… that you wouldn't be thinking some things."

More half-lies. I knew Ishouldn'twant her to care about me. But I did. Of course I did.

"That's quite a distinction," she dead-panned, raising an eyebrow at me.

"But that's not really the point at the moment."

"Then what is?"

She leaned toward me, her hand cupped lightly around her throat. It drew my eye—distracted me. How soft that skin must feel…

Focus, I commanded myself.

"Do you truly believe that you care more for me than I do for you?" I asked. The questioned sounded ridiculous to me, like the words were scrambled.

Her eyes were wide, her breathing stopped. Then she looked away, blinking quickly.

"You're doing it again," she murmured.

"What?"

"Dazzling me," she admitted, meeting my eyes warily.

"Oh." Hmm. I wasn't quite sure what to do about that. Nor was I sure that I didn'twantto dazzle her. I was still thrilled that Icould. But it wasn't helping the progression of the conversation.

"It's not your fault," she sighed. "You can't help it."

"Are you going to answer my question?" I demanded.

She stared at the table. "Yes."

"Yes, you are going to answer, or yes, you really think that?" I asked impatiently.

"Yes, I really think that," she said without looking up. There was faint undertone of sadness in her voice. She blushed again, and her teeth moved unconsciously to worry her lip.

Abruptly, I realized that this was very hard for her to admit, because she truly believed it. And I was no better than that coward, Makayla, asking for her to confirm her feelings before I'd confirmed my own. It didn't matter that I felt I'd made my side abundantly clear. It hadn't gotten through to her, and so I had no excuse.

"You're wrong, Bella," I promised. She must hear the tenderness in my voice.

Bella looked up to me, her eyes opaque, giving nothing away. You can't know that," she whispered.

She thought that I was underestimating her feelings because I couldn't hear her thoughts. But, in truth, the problem was that she was underestimatingmine.

"What makes you think so?" I wondered.

She stared back at me, the furrow between her brows, biting her lips. For the millionth time, I wished desperately that I could justhearher.

I was about to beg her to tell me what thought she was struggling with, but she held up a finger to keep me from speaking.

"Let me think," she requested.

As long as she was simply organizing her thoughts, I could be patient.

Or I could pretend to be.

She pressed her hands together, twining and untwining her slender fingers. She was watching her hands as if they belonged to someone else while she spoke.

"Well, aside from the obvious," she murmured. "Sometimes… I can't be sure—Idon't know how to read minds—but sometimes it seems like you're tryin to say goodbye when you're saying something else." She didn't look up.

She'd caught that, had she? Did she realize that it was only weakness and selfishness that kept me here? Did she think less of me for that?

"Perceptive," I breathed, and then watched in horror as pain twisted her expression. I hurried to contradict her assumption. "That's exactly why you're wrong, though—" I began, and then I paused, remembering the first words of her explanation. They bothered me, thought I wasn't sure I understood exactly. "What do you mean, 'the obvious'?"

"Well, I mean…," and she sighed, "I'm absolutely ordinary. There's nothing particularly special about me. I'm not the only one in this school who finds you attractive, I'm not exceptionally talented at anything, I'm as interesting as the next girl, but I'm just ordinary—average. Aside from some unfortunate near-death experiences and a talent for tripping over my own feet, I'm not…special."

She thought she was ordinary? She thought that I was somehow preferable to her? In whose estimation? Silly, narrow-minded, blind humans like the ones surrounding us now? How could she not realize that she was the most beautiful… most exquisite… those words weren't even enough.

And she had no idea.

"You don't see yourself very clearly, you now. I'll admit you are correct about the bad things…" I laughed humorlessly. I did not find the evil fate who haunted her comical. The clumsiness, however, was sort of funny. Endearing. Would she believe me if I told her she was beautiful, inside and out? I didn't know how to show her. "But you don't see how fascinating you really are?"

Fascinating and captivating, and despite the interest of so many in this school, she didn't want any of them.

I was the one she said yes to.

My smile must have been smug.

Her face was blank with surprise. She blinked a few times. "I don't believe that," she mumbled.

"Trust me just this once—you are the opposite of ordinary."

Her existence alone was excuse enough to justify the creation of the entire world.

"Is that true?" Her expression was suddenly fiercely serious. "Or are you just fascinated with me because I'm the one person whose mind you can't read?"

I was shocked. Horrified that she could possibly think that I wasn't completely enamored with every brilliant facet of her.

"I'll admit it does frustrate me that I can't read your mind," I wanted to explain the depth of my feelings in an eloquent way, but I couldn't hold back my emotions about her. The words came out in a torrent. "But believe me, Bella, you are so much more complicated than you give yourself credit for. You are intelligent and perceptive, you're remarkably mature. You see those around you in a way most simply don't. You see the world in a way most are unable." I sighed, past all secrets, relinquishing myself to complete honesty, "When I realized I couldn't read your mind I began searching everyone else's minds to find out as much about you as I could. Everything I saw only made me sure that you are… one of a kind." I paused, and took her in—her unique, subtle beauty. "And all those words are not enough to describe why you are anything but ordinary."

I stared at her, hoping she finally understood me, hoping that she could see what I saw. Her face was bright red, she sat, unspeaking. Her heart beating erratically in her chest.

She wasn't used to compliments, I could see that. Another thing she would justhaveto get used. She flushed deeper, and changed the subject. "But… why are you always trying to say goodbye? I'm not saying goodbye."

"Don't you see? That's what proves me right. Don't you see how much it hurts me to say goodbye to you? Even if just for a night? I care the most, because if I can do it…" Would I ever be unselfish enough to do the right thing? I shook my head in despair. I would have to find the strength. She deserved a life. Not what Alice had seen coming for her. "If leaving is the right thing to do, then I'll hurt myself to keep from hurting you, to keep you safe."

As I said the words, I willed them to be true.

She glared at me. Somehow, my words had upset her. "And you don't think I wouldn't do the same?" She demanded, angrily.

So angry—so soft and so fragile. How could she ever hurt anyone? "You'd never have to make the choice," I told her, depressed anew by the wide difference between us.

She stared at me, concern replacing the anger in her eyes and bringing out the little pucker between them.

There was something truly wrong with the order of the universe if someone so good and so breakable did not merit a guardian angel to keep her out of trouble.

Well,I thought with dark humor,at least she has a guardian vampire.

I smiled. How I loved my excuse to stay. "Of course, keeping you safe is beginning to feel like a full-time occupation that requires my constant presence."

She smiled, too. "No one has tried to do away with me today," she said lightly, and then her face turned speculative for half a second before her eyes went opaque again.

"Yet," I added dryly.

"Yes," she agreed to my surprise. I'd expected her to deny any need for protection. "Though I think maybe you're just looking for an excuse to be around me."

Her voice was teasing, but she wasn't far off from the truth, really.

She turned bright red and her eyes fell away from mine.

How could she? That selfish jackass! How could she do this to us?Royal's piercing mental shriek broke through my concentration.

"Easy, Roy," I heard Emmett whisper from across the cafeteria. His arm was around Royal's shoulders, holding him tight into his side—restraining him.

Sorry, Edyth,Alice thought guiltily.He could tell that Bella knew too much from your conversation… and, well, it would have been worse if I hadn't told him the truth right away. Trust me on that.

I winced at the mental picture that followed, at what would have happened if I'd told Royal that Bella knew I was a vampire at home, where Royal didn't have a façade to keep up. I'd have to hide my Aston Martin somewhere out of state if he didn't calm down by the time school was over. The sight of my favorite car, mangled and burning, was upsetting—though I knew I'd earned the retribution.

Jasper was not much happier.

I'd deal with the others later. I only had so much time allotted to be with Bella, and I wasn't going to waste it. And hearing Alice had reminded me that I had some business to attend to.

"I have another question for you," I said, tuning out Royal's mental hysterics and rearranging my features to a casual smile.

"Sure," Bella said, looking back at me with a smile.

"Do you really need to go to Seattle this Saturday, or was that just an excuse to get out of saying no to all your admirers?"

She grimaced at me. "You know, I haven't forgiven you for the Taylor thing yet. It's your fault that she's deluded herself into thinking she's taking me to prom."

"Oh, she would have found a chance to ask you without me—I just really wanted to watch your face."

I laughed now, remembering her aghast expression. Nothing I'd ever told her about my own dark story had ever made her look so horrified. The truth didn't frighten her. She wanted to be with me. Mind-boggling.

"If I asked you, would you have turnedmedown?"

"I don't think I'll tell you," she said, her voice short. "That's my revenge."

I started laughing again at the subtle genius of her. Of course that would be the perfect revenge.

"Oh, you are cruel, aren't you?" I smiled at her.

"Besides," she continued. "As you like to point out; I have coordination issues. I'm a terrible dancer."

"That wouldn't be a problem. It's all in the leading."

For a brief fraction of a second, I was overwhelmed by the idea of holding her in my arms at a dance—where she would surely wear something becoming and flattering rather than this hideous sweater.

With perfect clarity, I remembered how her body had felt under mine after I'd thrown her out of the way of the oncoming van. Stronger than the panic or the desperation or the chagrin, I could remember the sensation. She'd been so warmed and so soft, fitting easily into my own stone shape.

I wrenched myself back from the memory.

"But you never told me—" I said quickly, preventing her from arguing with me about her clumsiness, as she clearly intended to do. "Are you resolved on going to Seattle, or do you mind if we do something different?'

"I'm open to alternatives," Bella said. "But I do have a favor to ask."

A qualified yes. What would she want from me?

"What?"

"Can I drive?"

Was this her idea of humor? "Why?"

"Well, mostly because when I told Charlie I was going to Seattle, he specifically asked if I was going alone and, at the time, I was. If he asked again, I probably wouldn't lie, but I don't think hewillask again, and leaving my truck at home would just bring up the subject unnecessarily. And also, if I'm being brutally honest here, your driving frightens me."

I rolled my eyes at her. "Of all the things that could frighten you, you worry about my driving." Truly, her brain worked backwards. I shook my head, disgusted.

Edyth, Alice called urgently.

Suddenly I was staring into a bright circle of sunlight, caught up in one of Alice's visions.

It was a place I knew well, the place I'd just considered taking Bella—a little meadow where no one ever went beside myself. A quiet, pretty place where I could count on being alone—far enough for any trail or human habitation that even my mind could have peace and quiet.

Alice recognized it, too, because she had seen me there not so long ago in another vision—one of those flickering, indistinct visions that Alice had shown me the morning I'd saved Bella from the van.

In that flickering vision, I hadn't been alone. And now it was clear—Bella was with me there. So Iwasbrave enough. She stared at me, rainbow flames dancing across her face, her eyes fathomless.

It's the same place, Alice thought, her mind full of a horror that did not match the vision. Tension, perhaps, but horror? What did she mean,the same place?

And then I saw it.

Edyth!Alice protested shrilly.I love her, Edyth!

I shut her out viciously.

She didn't love Bella the way I did. Her vision was impossible. Wrong. She was blinded somehow, seeing impossibilities.

Not even half a second had passed. Bella was looking curiously at my face, waiting for me to approve her request. Had she seen the flash of dread, or had it been too quick for her?

I focused on her, on our unfinished conversation, pushing Alice and her flawed, lying visions far away from my thoughts. They didn't deserve my attention.

"Won't you tell your father that you're spending the day with me?" I asked, darkness seeping into my voice.

I shoved at the visions again, trying to push them farther away, to keep them from flickering though my head.

"With Charlie, less is always more," Bella said, certain of this fact. "Where are we going anyway?"

Alice was wrong. Dead wrong. There was no chance of that. And it was just an old vision, invalid now. Things had changed.

"The weather will be nice," I told her slowly, fighting the panic indecision. Alice was wrong. I would continue as if I hadn't heard or seen anything. "So I'll be staying out of the public eye… and you can stay with me, if you'd like to."

Bella caught the significance at once; her eyes were bright and eager. "And you'll show me what you meant, about the sun?"

Maybe, like so many times before, her reaction would be the opposite of what I expected. I smiled at that possibility, struggling to return to the lighter moment. "Yes. But…" She hadn't said yes. "If you don't want to be… alone with me, I'd still rather you didn't go to Seattle by yourself. I shudder to think of the trouble you could find in a city that size."

Her lips pressed together; she was offended.

"Phoenix is three times bigger than Seattle—just in population. In physical size—"

"But apparently your number wasn't up in Phoenix," I said, cutting off her justifications. "So I'd rather you stayed with me."

She could stay forever and it would not be long enough.

I shouldn't think that way. We didn't have forever. The passing seconds counted more than they ever had before; each second changed her while I remained untouched.

"Again," She smiled. "I think you're just trying to make excuses to be together."

A guilty smile spread across my lips.

"And, as it happens, I don't mind being alone with you," she said.

No—because her instincts were backwards.

"I know." I sighed. "You should tell Charlie, though."

"Why in the world would I do that?" she asked, sounding perplexed.

I glared at her, the visions I couldn't quite manage to repress swirling sickeningly through my head.

"To give me some small incentive to bring you back," I hissed. She should give me that much—one witness to compel me to be cautious.

Why had Alice forced this knowledge on me now? I exhaled and looked away, fuming.

I scowled at Alice, who met my glare with a warning glance. Beside her, Royal was glowering furiously, but I couldn't have cared less. Let him destroy the damn car. It was just a stupid toy.

"You should learn to control your temper."

My head snapped back to Bella, unable to hide my surprise.

"I beg your pardon?" The same surprise was readily apparent in my voice, as well.

"You should learn to control your temper," she repeated with an earnest edge to her voice.

What on earth was she talking about? My temper? There was nothing wrong with my temper! I was perfectly even-tempered! I… I realized even in my frustration that my temper was, in fact, not quite in control. While my family would occasionally think about my temper negatively from time to time no one had ever even thought toactuallybring it up andsaysomething to me. I laughed as I looked at this human girl who feared nothing.

"You really are remarkable, Bella."

"Let's talk about something else," she stammered, blushing.

I watched this sweet, strange girl, wondering how she could manage to be so remarkable. Why wouldn't she just see me for the monster I was?

"What do you want to talk about?"

Her eyes darted to the left and then the right, as if checking to make sure there were no eavesdroppers. She must be planning to introduce another myth-related topic. Her eyes froze for a second and her body stiffened, and then she looked back to me.

"Why did you go to that Goat Rocks place last weekend… to hunt? Charlie said it wasn't a good place to hike, because of bears."

So beautifully oblivious. I stared at her, raising one eyebrow.

"Bears?" she gasped.

I smiled wryly, watching that sink in. Would this make her take me seriously? Would anything?

She pulled her expression together. "You know, bears are not in season," she said sternly, narrowing her eyes.

"If you read carefully, the laws only cover hunting with weapons."

She lost control over her face again for a moment. Her lips fell open.

"Bears?" she said again, a tentative question this time rather than a gasp a shock.

"Grizzly is Emmett's favorite."

I watched her eyes, seeing this settle in.

"Hmmm," she murmured. She took another bite of the taco, looking down. She chewed thoughtfully, and then took a drink.

"So," she said, finally looking up. "What's your favorite?"

I supposed I should have expected something like that, but I hadn't. Bella was always interesting, at the very least.

"Mountain lion," I answered brusquely.

"Ah," she said in a neutral tone. Her heartbeat continued steady and even, as if we were discussing a favorite restaurant.

Fine, then. If she wanted to ask like this was nothing unusual…

"Of course, we have to be careful not to impact the environment with injudicious hunting. We try to focus on areas with an overpopulation of predators—ranging as far away as we need. There's always plenty of deer and elk here, and they'll do, but here's the fun in that?"

She listened with a politely interested expression, as if I were a teacher giving a lecture. I had to smile.

"Where indeed," she murmured calmly, taking another bite of her apple.

"Early spring is Emmett's favorite bear season," I said, continuing with the lecture. "They're just coming out of hibernation, so they're more irritable."

Seventy years later, and he still hadn't gotten over losing that first match.

"Nothing more fun than an irritated grizzly bear," Bella agreed, nodding solemnly.

I couldn't hold back a chuckle as I shook my head at her illogical calm. It had to be put on. "Tell me what you're really thinking, please."

"Honestly, I'm trying to picture it—but I can't," she said, the crease appearing between her eyes. "How do you hunt a bear without weapons?"

"Oh, we have weapons," I told her, and then flashed her with a wide smile. I expected her to recoil, but she was very still, watching me. "Just not the kind they consider when writing hunting laws. If you've ever seen a bear attack on television, you should be able to visualize Emmett hunting."

She glanced toward the table where the others sat, and shuddered.

Finally. And then I laughed at myself, because I knew part of me was wishing she would stay oblivious.

"Don't let Royal catch you staring." I teased, unable to decide if I was trying to lighten the mood or give her some healthy fear. "He's prone to jealousy."

An understatement if ever there was one.

Her blue eyes were wide and deep as she stared at me now. "Are you like a bear, too?" she asked in an almost-whisper.

"More like the lion, or so they tell me," I told her, striving to sound detached again. "Perhaps our preferences are indicative.

Her lips pulled up a tiny bit at the corners. "Perhaps," she repeated. And then her head leaned to the side, and curiosity was suddenly clear in her eyes. "Is that something I might get to see?"

I didn't need pictures from Alice to illustrate this horror—my imagination was quite enough.

"Absolutely not," I snarled at her.

She jerked away from me, her eyes bewildered and frightened.

"Temper, Edyth!" Her voice was sharp, and her eyes simmered.

I leaned back in my chair and folded my arms across my chest. She was never going to see, was she? She wouldn't do one thing to help me keep her alive.

"So, what? Too scary for me?" she asked, her voice even. Her heart, however, was still moving in double time.

"If that were it, I would take you out tonight," I retorted through my teeth. "Youneeda healthy dose of fear. Nothing could be more beneficial for you."

"Then why?" she pressed, undeterred.

I glared at her blackly, waiting for her to be afraid.Iwas afraid. I could imagine only too clearly having Bella near when I hunted…

But our hour was up.

"Later," I sighed, and rose to my feet. "We're going to be late."

She looked around herself, disoriented, like she'd forgotten we were at lunch. Like she'd forgotten we were even at school—surprised that we were not alone in some private place. I understood that feeling exactly. It was hard to remember the rest of the world when I was with her.

She got up quickly, bobbling once, and threw her bag over her shoulder.

"Later, then," she said, and I could see the determination in the set of her mouth; she would hold me to that


	22. complications Bella pov

Everyone watched us as we walked together to our lab table. I noticed that she no longer angled the chair to sit as far from me as the desk would allow. Instead, she sat quite close beside me, our arms almost touching.

Mrs. Banner backed into the room then—what superb timing the woman had—pulling a tall metal frame on wheels that held a heavy-looking, outdated TV and VCR. A movie day—the lift in the class atmosphere was almost tangible.

Mrs. Banner shoved the tape into the reluctant VCR and walked to the wall to turn off the lights.

And then, as the room went black, I was suddenly hyperaware that Edyth was sitting less than an inch from me. I was stunned by sudden surge of electricity that flowed through me, amazed that is was possible to memoreaware of her than I already was. A crazy impulse to reach over and touch her; to stroke her perfect face in the darkness—hell, to grab her and pull her to me—nearly overwhelmed me. I crossed my arms tightly across my chest, my hands balling into fists. I was losing my mind.

The opening credits began, lighting the room by a token amount. My eyes, of their own accord, flickered to her. I smiled sheepishly as I realized her posture was identical to mine, fists clenched under her arms, right down to the eyes, peering sideways at me. She grinned back, her eyes somehow managing to smolder, even in the dark. I looked away before my urges won over my common sense. It was absolutely ridiculous that I should feel like this in a classroom full of people just because it was dark.

The hour seemed very long. I couldn't concentrate on the movie—I didn't even know what subject it was on. I tried unsuccessfully to relax, but the electric current that seemed to be originating from somewhere between us, pulling our bodies together, never slackened. It was a deep ache to close the small space between us, an urge to touch her, to feel her body on mine. My throat ran dry and I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself down. Occasionally I would permit myself a quick glance in her direction, but she never seemed to relax, either. The overpowering craving to touch her refused to fade and I crushed my fists safely against my ribs until my fingers were aching with the effort.

I breathed a sigh of relief when Ms. Banner flicked the lights back on at the end of class, and stretched my arms out in front of me, flexing my stiff fingers. Edyth chuckled beside me.

"Well, that was interesting," she murmured. Her voice and her eyes were cautious.

"Umm, yeah," was all I was able to respond.

"Shall we?" she asked, rising fluidly.

I almost groaned. Time for Gym. I stood with care, deeply affected by the strange new intensity between us.

She walked me to my next class in silence and paused at the door; I turned to say goodbye. Her face startled me—her expression was torn, almost pained, and so fiercely beautiful that the ache to touch her flared as strong before. My goodbye stuck in my throat.

She raised her hand, hesitant, conflict raging in her eyes, and then she gently brushed the length of my cheekbone with her fingertips. Her skin was icy as ever, but the trail her fingers left on my skin was alarmingly warm—like I'd been burned, but I didn't feel the pain of it yet.

She turned without a word and strode quickly away from me.

I walked into gym, feeling lightheaded and unsteady. I drifted to the locker room, changing in a trancelike state, only vaguely aware that there were other people surrounding me. My head started to clear only when someone handed me a racket. I could see a few of the other kids in class eyeing me furtively. Coach Clapp ordered us to pair into teams.

Mercifully, Makayla was feeling kind; she came to stand beside me.

"Do you want to be a team?"

"Thanks, Makayla—you don't have to do this, you know." I grimaced apologetically.

"Don't worry, I'll keep out of your way." She grinned. Sometimes it was so easy to like Makayla.

It didn't go smoothly. I somehow managed to hit myself in the head with my racket and clip Makayla's shoulder on the same swing. I spent the rest of the hour in the back corner of the court, the racket held safely behind my back. Despite being handicapped by me, Makayla was pretty good; she won three games out of four singlehandedly. She gave me an unearned high five when the coach finally blew the whistle ending class.

"So," she said as we walked off the court.

"So what?"

"You and Cullen, huh?" she asked, her tone rebellious. My previous feelings of affection started to dissipate.

"Yeah, I guess." I answered shortly. I assumed Jeremy had told Makayla everything he knew.

"I don't like it," she muttered.

"You don't have to," I shrugged.

"She looks at you like… like you're something to eat," she continued, ignoring me.

I choked back the hysteria that threatened to explode, but a small giggle managed to slip out despite my efforts. She glowered at me. I fled to the locker room.

I showered quickly, something stronger than butterflies battering recklessly against the walls of my stomach, my argument with Makayla already a distant memory. I was thinking about that electric feeling; that urge. I made my shower a cold one.

As I dressed, I wondered if Edyth would be waiting, or if I should meet her at her car. What If her family was there? I felt a wave of real terror. Did they know that I knew? Was I supposed to know that they knew that I knew, or not?

By the time I walked out of the gym, I had just about decided to walk straight home without even looking toward the parking lot. But my worries were unnecessary. Edyth was waiting, leaning casually against the side of the gym, her breathtaking face untroubled now. As I walked to her side, I felt a peculiar sense of release.

"Hi," I breathed, smiling hugely.

"Hello." Her answering smile was brilliant. "How was Gym?"

My face fell a tiny bit. "Fine," I sighed.

"Really?" She was unconvinced. Her eyes shifted their focus slightly, looking over my shoulder and narrowing. I glanced behind me to see Makayla's back as she walked away.

"What?" I demanded.

Her eyes slid back to mind, still tight. "Newton's getting on my nerves."

"Edyth, were you listening again?" I asked, appalled—my good mood spoiled.

"How's your head?" she asked innocently.

"You're unbelievable." Rolling my eyes, I turned and walked away in the direction of the parking lot, though I hadn't ruled out walking at this point.

She kept up with me easily.

"You were the one who mentioned how I'd never seen you in Gym—it made me curious." She didn't sound sorry, so I kept walking.

We walked in silence to her car, I felt embarrassed and I didn't want to talk. I had to stop a few feet away from her car, a crowd of people were surrounding it. Then I realized they weren't surrounding the Volvo, they were actually circled around Royal's red convertible, unmistakable lust in their eyes. None of them even looked up as Edyth slid between them to open her door. I climbed quickly in the passenger side, also unnoticed.

"Ostentatious," she muttered.

"What kind of car is that?" I asked.

"An M3."

"Sorry, that doesn't mean anything to me." I shrugged.

"It's a BMW." She rolled her eyes, but she was smirking. She backed out carefully, trying not to run over the car enthusiasts.

I nodded—I'd heard of that one.

"Are you still angry with me?" she asked as she carefully maneuvered her way out.

"I'm not happy."

She sighed. "Will you forgive me if I apologize?"

"Maybe… if you mean it.Andif you promise not to do it again," I insisted.

Her eyes were suddenly shrewd. "How about if I mean it,andI agree to let you drive Saturday?" she countered my conditions.

I considered, and decided it wasn't a bad offer. "Deal," I agreed.

"Then I'm very sorry, Bella. I didn't mean to upset you." Her eyes burned with sincerity, and I couldn't help but smile a little. Her eyes turned playful in response, "I'll be on your doorstep bright and early Saturday morning."

"Um, it doesn't help with the Charlie situation if an unexplained Volvo is left in the driveway."

Her smile was bordering on condescending now. "I wasn't intending to bring a car."

"How—"

She cut me off. "Don't worry about it. I'll be there, no car."

I let it go. I had a more pressing question.

"Is it later yet?" I asked significantly.

She frowned. "I suppose it is later."

I kept my expression polite as I waited.

She stopped the car. I looked up, surprised—of course we were already at Charlie's house, parked behind the truck. It was easier to ride with her if I only looked when it was over. When I looked back at her, she was staring at me, measuring me with her eyes.

"And you still want to know why you can't see me hunt?" She seemed solemn, but I thought I saw a trace of humor deep in her eyes.

"Well," I clarified, "I was mostly wondering about your reaction."

"Did I frighten you?" Yes, there was definitely humor there.

"A bit."

"I apologize for scaring you," My honesty must have caught her off guard, because all evidence of teasing disappeared. "It was just the very thought of you being there… while we hunted." Her jaw tightened.

"That would be bad?"

She spoke from between clenched teeth. "Extremely."

"Because…?"

She took a deep breath and stared through the windshield at the thick, rolling clouds that seemed to press down, almost within reach.

"When we hunt," she spoke slowly, unwillingly, "we give ourselves over to our senses… govern less with our minds. Especially our sense of smell. If you were anywhere near me when I lost control that way…" She shook her head, still gazing morosely at the heavy clouds.

I kept my expression firmly under control, expecting the swift flash of her eyes to judge my reaction that soon followed. My face gave nothing away.

But our eyes held, and the silence deepened—and changed. Flickers of the electricity I'd felt this afternoon began to charge the atmosphere as she gazed unrelentingly into my eyes. My body was filled with the current, and I felt my breath catch in my throat as my pulse quickened. I took a deeper breath, and she closed her eyes.

"Bella, I think you should go inside now." Her low voice was rough, her eyes remained closed.

"Yeah, me too." I breathed in response.

I opened the door, and the arctic draft that burst into the car helped clear my head. I stepped slowly out of the car and shut the door behind me without looking back. The whir of the automatic window unrolling made me turn.

"Oh, Bella?" she called after me, her voice more even. She leaned toward the open window with a faint smile on her lips.

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow it's my turn."

"Your turn to what?"

She smiled wider, flashing her gleaming teeth. "Ask the questions."

And then she was gone, the car speeding down the street and disappearing around the corner before I could even collect my thoughts. I smiled as I walked into the house. It was clear she was planning to see me tomorrow, which pleased me.

That night Edyth starred in my dreams, as usual. However, the climate of my unconsciousness had changed. It thrilled with the same electricity that had charged the afternoon, and I tossed and turned restlessly, waking often feeling hot and unsettled. It was only in the early hours of the morning that I finally sank into an exhausted, dreamless sleep.

When I woke I was still tired, but edgy as well. I pulled on my brown sweater and jeans, sighing as I daydreamed of tank tops and shorts. Breakfast was the usual, quiet event I expected. Charlie fried eggs for himself; I had my bowl of cereal. I wondered if he had forgotten about this Saturday. He answered my unspoken question as he stood up to take his plate to the sink.

"About this Saturday…," he began, walking across the kitchen and turning on the faucet.

I cringed. "Yes, Dad?"

"Are you still set on going to Seattle?" he asked.

"That was the plan." I grimaced, wishing he hadn't brought it up. Today I was too tired to carefully construct half-truths. I couldn't lie today.

He squeezed some dish soap into his plate and swirled it around with the brush. "And you're sure you can't make it back in time for the dance?"

"I'm not going to the dance, Dad." I sighed.

"Didn't you ask anyone?" he asked, trying to hide his concern by focusing on rinsing the plate.

This was a question I had been nervous for. I sidestepped. "Uh… It's a boy's choice not girls."

"Didn't anyone ask you, then?" He countered.

"Well…" I felt uneasy, "I mean, technically… yeah."

"So why'd you say no?" Charlie asked, trying desperately to seem casual. "Did you not like him?"

"Well," I swallowed. I felt knots in my stomach. I felt the panic rise in my chest, but I stopped myself with the simple thought that I've literally survived two-near death experiences. I could handle this next moment. "I don't like boys."

Charlie laughed, "You sound like you're five again."

"No, Dad," I sighed, taking a deep breath, "I just don't like…boys." I placed as much emphasis as I could on the word. Charlie caught what I had meant this time. I waited, practically holding my breath.

He didn't say anything at first, his hands were still holding onto his plate and the dish brush. Well, this was great. I knew dropping something like this on poor Charlie over breakfast wasn't the best idea, but for some reason I felt like I needed to say it. It needed to be out in the open now. Even if I didn't mention Edyth, I needed Charlie to know.

"Dad?" I felt my throat go dry.

"Yeah?" He said, like I had interrupted him while he was deep in thought.

"Do you… Understand what I mean?"

"Yeah, Bella. I do." I heard him set down his plate.

"Okay." Was all I could manage to say. I decided to go upstairs and finish getting ready. I stood slowly and turned to leave.

"Bella?" Charlie called.

I turned around and he was standing right in front of me. He pulled me into a tight hug and he held me there for a long moment. I felt relief wash over me as he held me tightly. We hadn't hugged like this in years, and he didn't have to say a word for me to know that everything was okay. He broke the embrace and put his hands on my shoulders. He looked me straight in the eyes, very seriously now.

"Did any girls ask you?"

"Um. Two?" I spluttered in response, confused.

"And you said no?"

"Right."

"You didn't say no because you were afraid how people would react did you?" He was very serious now.

"No," I answered, "I didn't want to go with who asked me. Also the dancing thing."

"You listen to me, Bella; I never want you to feel like you can't be yourself." His voice was adamant, "If anyone gives you even a lick of trouble they'll have me to deal with," He squeezed my shoulders, "You understand?"

I couldn't say anything, I just hugged Charlie again. He patted my back, and cleared his throat.

"Love you, sweetheart."

"Love you too, Dad."

Charlie left after a moment, with a goodbye wave, and I went upstairs to brush my teeth and gather my books. When I heard the cruiser pull away, I sighed. When I had told my mom she had been over the top in her understanding and excitement. Even going so far as to point out cute girls my age when we'd go out. I, of course, appreciated her support and loved her for it, but we decided to wait and tell Charlie. My mom felt he could handle it; she called Charlie a 'very open-minded, free-wheeling man' and said it was part of why she fell in love with him in the first place. I just wasn't ready. I only saw Charlie for two weeks a year. I had always worried that Forks was too small a town, and he wouldn't be able to handle it. I was wrong, not only did he handle it better than I thought, he supported me. My happiness was slightly marred by the fact that I doubted he would be as accepting if he knew the true nature ofwhoI liked.

I glanced at the clock and realized the time, I peeked out my window. The silver car was there, waiting in Charlie's spot on the driveway. I bounded down the stairs and out the front door, in high spirits.

She waited in the car, not appearing to watch as I shut the door behind me without bothering to lock the deadbolt. I walked to the car, opened the door, and stepped in. She was smiling, relaxed—and, as usual, perfectly beautiful.

"Good morning." Her voice was silky. "How are you today?" Her eyes roamed over my face, as if her question was more than simple courtesy. "You seem to be very happy?"

"I am." I smiled, widely. "It was a good morning." I said simply.

Her gaze lingered on the circles under my eyes. "But not a good night."

"I couldn't sleep," I confessed with a shrug, even that wasn't going to bring me down today.

"Neither could I," she teased as she started the engine. I was becoming used to the quiet purr. I was sure the roar of my truck would scare me, whenever I got to drive it again.

I laughed. "I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."

"I'd wager you did."

"So what did you do last night?"

She chuckled. "Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions."

"Oh, that's right." I smiled, "You're lucky I'm in such a good mood. Ask away."

I couldn't imagine what might be particularly interesting to her.

"What's your favorite color?" she asked, her face grave.

I stared at her, confused for a moment. Then I laughed. "I don't know, it changes from day to day."

"What's your favorite color today?" She was still solemn.

"Uh, probably brown." I tended to dress according to my mood.

She snorted, dropping her serious expression. "Brown?" she asked skeptically.

"Sure. Brown is warm. Imissbrown. Everything that's supposed to be brown—tree trunks, rocks, dirt—is all covered up in green stuff here," I explained.

She seemed fascinated by my explanation. She considered for a moment, staring into my eyes.

"You're right," she decided, serious again. "Brown is warm." She reached over, swiftly, but somehow still hesitantly, to smooth back my hair. I couldn't help but smile at how strange she made simple gestures like that.

We were at the school by now. She turned back to me as she pulled into a parking space.

"What music is in your CD player right now?" she asked, her face as somber as if she'd asked for a murder confession.

I realized I'd never removed the CD Phil had given me. When I said the name of the band, she smiled crookedly, a peculiar expression in her eyes. She flipped open a compartment under her car's CD player, pulled out on of thirty or so CDs that were jammed into the small space, and handed it to me.

"Debussy to this?" She raised an eyebrow.

It was the same CD. I examined the familiar cover art, keeping my eyes down.

It continued like that for the rest of the day. While she walked me to English, when she met me after Spanish, all through the lunch hour, she questioned me relentlessly about every insignificant detail of my existence. Movies I'd liked and hated, the few places I'd been and the many places I wanted to go, and books—endlessly books.

I couldn't remember the last time I'd talked so much. More often than not, I felt self-conscious, certain I must be boring her. But the absolute absorption of her face, and her never-ending stream of questions, compelled me to continue. Mostly her questions were easy, only a very few triggering my easy blushes. But when I did flush, it brought on a whole new round of questions.

Such as the time she asked my favorite gemstone, and I blurted out topaz before thinking. She'd been flinging questions at me with such speed that I felt like I was taking one of those psychiatric tests where you answer with the first word that comes to mind. I was sure she would have continued down whatever mental list she was following, except for the blush. My face reddened because, until very recently, my favorite gemstone was garnet. It was impossible, while staring back into her golden-hued eyes, not to remember the reason for the switch. And, naturally, she wouldn't rest until I'd admitted why I was embarrassed.

"Tell me," she finally pleaded after persuasion failed.

"It's the color of your eyes today," I sighed, surrendering, staring down at my hands as I fiddled with a piece of my hair. "I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx." I'd given more information than necessary in my unwilling honesty. But it was too late now.

But her pause was very short.

"What kinds of flowers do you prefer?" she fired off.

I sighed in relief, and continued with the psychoanalysis.

Biology was a complication again. Edyth had continued with her quizzing up until Ms. Banner entered the room, dragging the audiovisual frame again. As the teacher approached the light switch, I noticed Edyth slide her chair slightly farther away from mine. It didn't help. As soon as the room was ark, there was the same electric spark, the same restless craving to stretch my hand across the short space and touch her cold skin, as yesterday.

I leaned forward on the table, resting my chin on my folded arms, my hidden fingers gripping the table's edge as I fought to ignore the irrational, burning longing that unsettled me. I didn't look at her, afraid that if she was looking at me, it would only make self-control that much harder. I sincerely tried to watch the movie, but at the end of the hour I had no idea what I'd just seen. I sighed in relief again when Ms. Banner turned the lights on, finally glancing at Edyth; she was looking at me, her eyes ambivalent.

She rose in silence, and then stood still, waiting for me. We walked toward the gym in silence, like yesterday. And, also like yesterday, she touched my face wordlessly—this time with the back of her cool hand, stroking once from my temple to my jaw—before he turned and walked away.

Gym passed quickly as I watched Makayla's one-woman badminton show. She didn't speak to me today, either in response to my vacant expression or because she was still angry about our squabble yesterday. Somewhere, in a corner of my mind, I felt bad about that. But I couldn't concentrate on her.

I hurried to clean up and change afterward, ill at ease, knowing the faster I moved, the sooner I would see Edyth. The pressure made me more clumsy than usual, but eventually I made it out the door, feeling the same release when I saw her standing there, a wide smile automatically spreading across my face. She smiled in reaction before launching into more cross-examination.

Her questions were different now, though, not as easily answered. She wanted to know what I missed about home, insisting on descriptions of anything she wasn't familiar with. We sat in front of Charlie's house for hours, as the sky darkened and rain plummeted around us in a sudden deluge.

I tried to describe impossible things like the scent of creosote—bitter, slightly resinous, but still pleasant—the high, keening sound of the cicadas in July, the feathery barrenness of the trees, the very size of the sky, extending white-blue from horizon to horizon, barely interrupted by the low mountains covered with purple volcanic rock. The hardest thing to explain was why it was so beautiful to me—to justify a beauty that didn't depend on sparse, spiny vegetation that often looked half dead, a beauty that had more to do with the exposed shape of the land, with the shallow bowls of valleys between the craggy hills, and the way they held on to the sun. I found myself using my hands as I tried to describe it to her.

Her quiet, probing questions kept me talking freely, forgetting, in the dim light of the storm, to feel self-conscience for monopolizing the conversation. Finally, when I had finished detailing my cluttered room at home, she paused instead of responding with another question.

"Are you finished?" I asked in relief.

"Not even close—but your father will be home soon."

"Charlie!" I suddenly remembered we were sitting in front of his house, and sighed. I looked out at the rain-darkened sky, but it gave nothing away. "How late is it?" I wondered out loud as I glanced at the clock. I was surprised by the time—Charlie would be driving home now.

"It's twilight," Edyth murmured, looking at the western horizon, obscured as it was with clouds. Her voice was thoughtful, as if her mind were somewhere far away. I stared at her as she gazed unseeingly out the windshield.

I was still staring when her eyes suddenly shifted back to mine.

"It's the safest time of the day for us," she said, answering the unspoken question in my eyes. "The easiest time. But also the saddest, in a way…the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?" She smiled wistfully.

"I like the night. Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." I frowned. "Not that you see them here much."

She laughed, and the mood abruptly lightened.

"Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday…" She raised one eyebrow.

"I don't think he's ready for that." I gathered my books, realizing I was stiff from sitting still so long. "So is it my turn tomorrow, then?"

"Certainly not!" Her face was teasingly outraged. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"

"What more is there?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." She reached across to open my door for me, and her sudden proximity sent my heart into a frenzy. She grew incredibly still, so close to me. She looked deeply into my eyes. She suddenly stiffened.

"Not good," she muttered.

"What is it?" I was surprised to see that her jaw was clenched, her eyes disturbed.

She glanced me up and down, and sighed. "Another complication," she said glumly.

She flung the door open in one swift movement, and then moved reluctantly away from me.

The flash of headlights through the rain caught my attention as a ark car pulled up to the curb just a few feet away, facing us.

"Charlie's around the corner," she warned, staring through the downpour at the other vehicle.

I hopped out at once, despite my confusion and curiosity. The rain was louder as it glanced off my jacket.

I tried to make out the shapes in front seat of the other car, but it was too dark. I could see Edyth illuminated in the glare of the new car's headlights; she was still staring ahead, her gaze locked on something or someone I couldn't see. Her expression was a strange mix of frustration and defiance.

Then she revved the engine, and the tires squealed against the wet pavement. The Volvo was out of sight in seconds.

"Hey, Bella," called a familiar, husky voice from the driver's side of the little black car.

"Julie?" I asked, squinting through the rain. Just then, Charlie's cruiser swung around the corner, his lights shining on the occupants of the car in front of me.

Julie was already climbing out, her wide grin visible even through the darkness. In the passenger seat was a much older man, a sturdy-looking man with a memorable face—a face that overflowed, the cheeks resting against his shoulders, with creases running through the russet skin like an old leather jacket. And the surprisingly familiar eyes, black eyes that seemed at the same time both too young and too ancient for the broad face they were set in. Julie's father, Billy Black. I knew him immediately, though in the more than five years since I'd seen him last, I'd managed to forget his name when Charlie had spoken of him my first day here. He was staring at me, scrutinizing my face, so I smiled tentatively at him. His eyes were wide, as if in shock or fear, his nostrils flared. My smile faded.

Another complication, Edyth had said.

Billy still stared at me with intense, anxious eyes. I groaned internally. Had Billy recognized Edyth so easily? Could he really believe the impossible legends his daughter had scoffed at?

The answer was clear in Billy's eyes. Yes. Yes, he could


	23. complications Edyth pov

**so after this ill be on my own with Edyth pov :)**

Bella and I walked silently to Biology. I was trying to focus myself on the moment, on the girl beside me, on what was real and solid, on anything that would keep Alice's deceitful, meaningless visions out of my head.

We passed Allen Weber, lingering on the sidewalk, discussing an assignment with a girl from his Trigonometry class. I scanned his thoughts perfunctorily, expecting more disappointment, only to be surprised by their wistful tenor.

Ah, so there was something Allen wanted. Unfortunately, it wasn't something that could be easily gift-wrapped.

I felt strangely comforted for a moment, hearing Allen's hopeless yearning. A sense of kinship that Allen would never know about passed through me, and I was, in that second, at one with the kind human boy.

It was oddly consoling to know that I wasn't the only one living out a tragic love story. Heartbreak was everywhere.

In the next second, I was abruptly and thoroughly irritated. Because Allen's story didn'thaveto be tragic. He was human and she was human and the difference that seemed so insurmountable in his head was ridiculous, truly ridiculous compared to my own situation. There was nopointin his broken heart. What a wasteful sadness, when there was no valid reason for him not to be with the one he wanted. Why shouldn't he have what he wanted? Why shouldn't this one story have a happy ending?

I wanted to give him a gift… Well, I could give him what he wanted. Knowing what I did of human nature, it probably wouldn't be very difficult. I sifted through the consciousness of the girl beside him, the object of his affections, and she did not seem unwilling, she was just stymied by the same difficulty he was. Hopeless and resigned, the way he was.

All I would have to do was plant the suggestion…

The plan formed easily, the script wrote itself without effort on my part. I would need Emmett's help—getting him to go along with this was the only real difficulty. Human nature was so much easier to manipulate than vampire nature.

I was pleased with my solution, with my gift for Allen. It was a nice diversion from my own problems. Would that mine were as easily fixed.

My mood was slightly improved as Bella and I took our seats. Maybe I should be more positive. Maybe there was some solution out there for us that was escaping me, the way Allen's obvious solution was so invisible to him. Not likely… But why waste time with hopelessness? I didn't have time to waste when it came to Bella. Each second mattered.

Mrs. Banner entered pulling an ancient TV and VCR. She was skipping through a section she wasn't particularly interested in—genetic disorders—by showing a movie for the next three days.Lorenzo's Oilwas not a very cheerful piece, but that didn't stop the excitement in the room. No notes, no test-able material. Three free days. The humans exulted.

It didn't matter to me, either way. I hadn't been planning on paying any attention to anything but Bella.

I did not pull my chair away from hers today, to give myself space to breathe. Instead, I sat close beside her like any normal human would. Closer than we sat inside my car, close enough that the left side of my body felt submerged in the heat from her skin.

It was a strange experience, both enjoyable and nerve-racking, but I preferred this to sitting across the table from her. It was more than I was used to, and yet I quickly realized that it was not enough. I was not satisfied. Being this close to her only made me want to be closer still. The pull was stronger the closer I got.

I had accused her of being a magnet for danger. Right now, it felt like that was the literal truth. I was danger, and, with every inch I allowed myself nearer to her, her attraction grew in force.

And then Mrs. Banner turned the lights out.

It was odd how much of a difference this made, considering that the lack of light meant little to my eyes. I could still see just as perfectly as before. Every detail of the room was clear.

So why the sudden shock of electricity in the air, in this dark that was not dark to me? Was it because I knew that I was the only one who could see clearly? That both Bella and I were invisible to the others? Like we were alone, just the two of us, hidden in the dark room, sitting so close beside one another…

My hand moved toward her without my permission. Just to touch her hand, to hold it in the darkness. Would that be such a horrific mistake? If my skin bothered her, she only had to pull away…

I yanked my hand back, folded my arms tightly across my chest and clenched my hands closed. No mistakes. I'd promised myself that I would make no mistakes, no matter how minimal they seemed. If I held her hand, I would only want more—another insignificant touch, another move closer to her. I could feel that. A new kind of desire was growing in me, working to override my self-control.

No mistakes.

Bella folded her arms securely across her own chest, and her hands balled up into fists, just like mine.

What are you thinking?I was dying to whisper the words to her, but the room was too quiet to get away with even a whispered conversation.

The movie began, lightening the darkness just a bit. Bella glanced up at me. She noted the rigid way I held my body—just like hers—and smiled. Her lips parted slightly, and her eyes seemed full of warm invitations.

Or perhaps I was seeing what I wanted to see.

I smiled back; her breathing caught slightly and she looked quickly away.

That made it worse. I didn't know her thoughts, but I was suddenly positive that I had been right before, and that she wanted me to touch her. She felt this dangerous desire just as I did.

Between her body and mine, the electricity hummed.

She didn't move at all through the hour, holding her stiff, controlled pose as I held mine. Occasionally she would peek at me again, and the humming current would jolt through me with a sudden shock.

The hour passed—slowly, and yet not slowly not enough. This was so new, I could have sat like this with her for days, just to experience the feeling fully.

I had a dozen different arguments with myself while the minutes passed, rationally struggling with desire as I tried to justify touching her.

Finally, Mrs. Banner turned the lights on again.

In the bright fluorescent light, the atmosphere of the room returned to normal. Bella sighed and stretched, flexing her fingers in front of her. It must have been uncomfortable for her to hold that position for so long. It was easier for me—stillness came naturally.

I chuckled at the relieved expression on her face. "Well, that was interesting."

"Umm, yeah," she murmured, clearly understanding what I referred to, but making no comment. What I wouldn't give to hear what she was thinking right now.

I sighed. No amount of wishing was going to help with that.

"Shall we?" I asked, standing.

She made a face and got unsteadily to her feet, her hands splayed out as if she were afraid she was going to fall.

I could offer her my hand. Or I could place that hand underneath her elbow—just lightly—and steady her. Surely that wouldn't be such a horrible infraction.

No mistakes.

She was very quiet as we walked toward the gym. The crease was evident between her eyes, a sign that she was deep in thought. I, too, was thinking deeply.

One touch of her skin wouldn't hurt her, my selfish side contended.

I could easily moderate the pressure of my hand. It wasn't exactly difficult, as long as I was firmly in control of myself. My tactile sense was better developed than a human's; I could juggle a dozen crystal goblets without breaking any of them; I could stroke a soap bubble without popping it. As long as I was firmly in control.

Bella was like a soap bubble—fragile and ephemeral.Temporary.

How long would I be able to justify my presence in her life? How much time did I have? Would I have another chance like this chance, like this moment, like this second? She would not always be within my arm's reach…

Bella turned to face me at the gym's door, and her eyes widened at the expression on my face. She didn't speak. I looked at myself in the reflection of her eyes and saw the conflict raging in my own. I watched my face change as my better side lost the argument.

My hand lifted without a conscious command for it to do so. As gently as if she were made of the thinnest glass, as if she were as fragile as a bubble, my fingers stroked the warm skin that covered her cheekbone. It heated under my touch, and I could feel the pulse of blood speed beneath her transparent skin.

Enough, I ordered,though my hand was aching to shape itself to the side of her face.Enough.

It was difficult to pull my hand back, to stop myself from moving closer to her than I already was. A thousand different possibilities ran through my mind in an instant—a thousand different ways to touch her. The tip of my finger tracing the shape of her lips. My palms cupping under her chin. Running my hand through her thick brown hair. My arms winding around her waist, holding her against the length of my body.

Enough.

I forced myself to turn, to move away from her. My body moved stiffly—unwilling.

I let my mind linger behind to watch her as I walked swiftly away, almost running from the temptation. I caught Makayla Newton's thoughts—they were the loudest—while she watched Bella walk past her in oblivion, her eyes unfocused and her cheeks red. Makayla glowered and suddenly my name was mingled with curses in her head; I couldn't help grinning slightly in response.

My hand was tingling. I flexed it and then curled it into a fist, but it continued to sting painlessly.

No, I hadn't hurt Bella—but touching her had still been a mistake.

It felt like fire—like the thirsting burn of my throat had spread throughout my entire body.

The next time I was close to her, would I be able to stop myself from touching her again? And if I touched her once, would I be able to stop at that?

No more mistakes. That was it.Savor the memory, Edyth, I told myself grimly,and keep your hands to yourself.That, or I would have to force myself to leave… somehow. Because I wouldn't allow myself near her if I insisted on making errors.

I took a deep breath and tried to steady my thoughts.

Emmett caught up with me outside the English building.

"Hey, Edyth."She's looking better. Weird, but better. Happy.

"Hey, Em." Did I look happy? I supposed, despite the chaos in my head, I felt that way.

Way to keep your mouth shut, kid. Royal wants to rip your tongue out.

I sighed. "Sorry I left you to deal with that. Are you angry with me?"

"Naw. Roy'll get over it. It was bound to happen anyway."With what Alice sees coming…

Alice's visions were not what I wanted to think about right now. I stared forward, my teeth locking together.

As I searched for a distraction, I caught sight of Becca Cheney entering the Spanish room ahead of us. Ah—here was my chance to give Allen Weber his gift.

I stopped walking and caught Emmett's arm. "Hold on a second."

What's up?

"I know I don't deserve it, but would you do me a favor anyway?"

"What is it?" he asked, curious.

Under my breath—and at a speed that would have made the words incomprehensible to a human no matter how loud they'd been spoken—I explained to him what I wanted.

He stared at me blankly when I was done, his thoughts as blank as his face.

"So?" I prompted. "Will you help me do it?"

It took him a minute to respond. "But,why?"

"C'mon, Emmett. Why not?"

Who are you and what have you done with my sister?

"Aren't you the one who complains that school is always the same? This is something a little different, isn't it? Consider it an experiment—an experiment in human nature."

He stared at me for another moment before he caved. "Well, it is different, I'll give you that… Okay, fine." Emmett snorted and then shrugged. "I'll help you."

I grinned at him, feeling more enthusiastic about my plan now that he was on board. Royal was a pain, but I would always owe him one for choosing Emmett; no one had a better brother than mine.

Emmett didn't need practice. I whispered his lines to him once under my breath as we walked into the classroom.

Becca was already in her seat behind mine, assembling her homework to hand in. Emmett and I both sat and did the same thing. The classroom was not quiet yet; the murmur of subdued conversation would continue until Mrs. Goff called for attention. She was in no hurry, appraising the quizzes from the last class.

"So," Emmett said, his voice louder than necessary—if he were really speaking only to me. "Did you ask Allen Weber out yet?"

The sound of papers rustling behind me came to an abrupt stop as Becca froze, her attention suddenly riveted on our conversation.

Allen? They're talking about Allen?

Good. I had her interest.

"No," I said, shaking my head slowly to appear regretful.

"Why not?" Emmett improvised. "Are you chicken?"

I grimaced at him. "No. I heard that he was interested in someone else."

Edyth Cullen was going to ask Allen out? But… No. I don't like that. I don't want her near him. She's… not right for him. Not… safe.

I hadn't anticipated the chivalry, the protective instinct. I'd been working for jealousy. But whatever worked.

"You're going to let that stop you?" Emmett asked scornfully, improvising again. "Not up for the competition?"

I glared at him, but made use of what he gave me. "Look, I guess he really likes this Becca person. I'm not going to try to convince him otherwise. There are others I could pursue."

The reaction in the chair behind me was electric.

"Who?" Emmett asked, back to the script.

"My lab partner said it was some kid named Cheney. I'm not sure I know who she is."

I bit back my smile. Only the haughty Cullens could get away with pretending not to know every student at this tiny school.

Becca's head was whirling with shock.Me? Over Edyth Cullen? But why would he like me?

"Edyth," Emmett muttered in a lower tone, rolling his eyes toward the girl. "She's right behind you," he mouthed, so obviously that the human could easily read the words.

"Oh," I muttered back.

I turned in my seat and glanced once at the girl behind me. For a second, the black eyes behind the glasses were frightened, but then she stiffened and squared her narrow shoulders, affronted by my clearly disparaging evaluation. Her chin shot out and an angry flush darkened her golden-brown skin.

"Huh," I said arrogantly as I turned back to Emmett.

She thinks she's better than me. But Allen doesn't. I'll show her…

Perfect.

"Didn't you say he was taking some other girl to the dance, though?" Emmett asked.

"That was apparently a group decision." I wanted to be sure that Becca was clear on this. "Allen's shy. If B—well, if a girl doesn't have the nerve to ask him out, he'd never ask her."

"You like 'em shy," Emmett said, back to improvisation.And quiet. And girls. girls like… hmm, I don't know. Maybe Bella Swan?

I grinned at him. "Exactly." Then I returned to the performance. "Maybe Allen will get tired of waiting. Maybe I'll ask him to the prom."

No, you won't,Becca thought, straightening up in her chair.So what if he's so much taller than me? If he doesn't care, then neither do I. He's the nicest, smartest, cutest boy in this school… and he wants me.

I liked this Becca. She seemed bright and well-meaning. Maybe even worthy of a boy like Allen.

I gave Emmett a thumbs up under the desk as Mrs. Goff stood and greeted the class.

Okay, I'll admit it—that was sort of fun,Emmett thought.

I smiled to myself, pleased that I'd been able to shape one love story's happy ending. I was positive that Becca would follow through, and Allen would receive my anonymous gift. My debt was repaid.

How silly humans were, to let a six-inch height differential confound their happiness.

My success put me in a good mood. I smiled again as I settled into my chair and prepared to be entertained. Bella had mentioned that she was uncoordinated. And since she was in Gym, I decided it would be the perfect opportunity to see for myself.

Makayla's thoughts were easy to pinpoint in the babble of the voices that swarmed through the gym. Her mind had gotten far too familiar over the last few weeks. With a sigh, I resigned myself to listening through her. At least I could be sure that she would be paying attention to Bella.

I was just in time to hear her offer to be Bella's badminton partner; as she made the suggestion, other partnerings ran through her mind. My smile faded, my teeth clenched together, and I had to remind myself that murdering Makayla Newton was not a permissible option.

"Thanks, Makayla—you don't have to do this, you know."

"Don't worry, I'll keep out of your way."

They grinned at each other, and flashes of numerous accidents—always in some way connected to Bella—flashed through Makayla's head.

Makayla played alone at first, while Bella hesitated on the back half of the court, holding her racket gingerly, as if it were some kind of weapon. Then Coach Clapp amble by and ordered Makayla to let Bella play.

Uh oh, Makayla thought as Bella moved forward with a sigh, holding her racquet at an awkward angle.

Jennifer Ford served the birdie directly toward Bella with a smug twist to her thoughts. Makayla saw Bella lurch toward it, swinging the racket yards wide of her target, and Makayla rushed in to try to save the volley.

I watched the trajectory of Bella's racquet with alarm. Sure enough, it hit the taut net and sprung back at her, clipping her forehead before it spun out to strike Makayla's shoulder with a resoundingthwack.

Ow. Ow. Ungh. That's going to leave a bruise.

Bella was kneading her forehead. It was hard to stay in my seat where I belonged, knowing she was hurt. But what could I do, if I were there? And it didn't seem to be serious… I hesitated, watching. If she intended to continue to try to play, I was going to have to manufacture an excuse to pull her out of class.

The coach laughed."Sorry, Newton." That Swan girl's the worst jinx I've ever seen. Shouldn't inflict her on the others…

She turned her back deliberately and moved to watch another game so that Bella could return to her former spectator's role.

Ow, Makayla thought again, massaging her shoulder. She turned to Bella."Are you okay?"

"Yeah, are you?"she asked sheepishly, blushing.

"I think I'll make it." Don't want to sound like a crybaby. But, damn, that hurts!

Makayla swung her arm in a circle, wincing.

"I'll just stay back here,"Bella said, embarrassment and chagrin on her face rather than pain. Maybe Makayla had got the worst of it. I certainly hoped that was the case. At least she wasn't playing anymore. She held her racquet so carefully behind her back, her eyes wide with remorse… I had to disguise my laugh as coughing.

What's funny?Emmett wanted to know.

"Tell you later," I muttered.

Bella didn't venture into the game again. The coach ignored her and let Makayla play alone.

I breezed through the quiz at the end of the hour, and Mrs. Goff let me go early. I was listening intently to Makayla as I walked across the campus. She'd decided to confront Bella about me.

Jeremy swears they're dating. Why? Why did Cullen have to pick Bella?

She didn't recognize the real phenomenon—that Bella had pickedme.

"So."

"So what?"she wondered.

"You and Cullen, huh?" You and the freak. I guess, if a rich girl is that important to you…

I gritted my teeth at her degrading assumption.

"Yeah, I guess." Bella responded shortly.

Defensive. So it's true. Crap. "I don't like it."

"You don't have to,"Bella shrugged.

Why can't she see what a circus sideshow Cullen is? Like they all are? The way she stares at Bella. It gives me chills to watch. "She looks at you like… like you're something to eat."

I cringed, waiting for Bella's response.

Bella's face turned bright red, and her lips pressed together like she was holding her breath. Then, suddenly, a giggle burst through her lips.

Now she's laughing at me. Great.

Bella turned, suddenly, and hurried into the locker room to clean up.

I leaned against the gym wall and tried to compose myself.

How could Bella have laughed at Makayla's accusation—so entirely on target that I began to worry that Forks was becoming too aware… Why would she laugh at the suggestion that I would kill her, when she knew that it was entirely true? Where was the humor in that?

What was wrong with her?

Did she have a morbid sense of humor? That didn't fit with my idea of her character, but how could I be sure? Or maybe my daydream of the giddy angel was true in the one respect, in that she had no sense of fear at all. Brave—that was one word for it. Others might stay stupid, but I knew how bright she was. No matter what the reason, though, this lack of fear or twisted sense of humor wasn't good for her. Was it this strange lack that put her in danger so constantly? Maybe she would always need me here…

Just like that, my mood was soaring.

If I could just discipline myself, make myself safe, then perhaps it would be right for me to stay with her.

When she walked through the gym doors, her shoulders were stiff and her lower lip was between her teeth again—a sign of anxiety. But as soon as her eyes met mine, her rigid shoulders relaxed and a wide smile spread across her face. It was an oddly peaceful expression. She walked right to my side without hesitation, only stopping when she was so close that her body heat crashed over me like a tidal wave.

"Hi," she whispered.

The happiness I felt in this moment was, again, without precedent.

"Hello," I said, and then—because with my mood suddenly so light I couldn't resist teasing her—I added, "How was gym?"

Her smile wavered. "Fine."

She was a poor liar.

"Really?" I asked, about to press the issue--I was still concerned about her head; was she in pain?—but then Makayla Newton's thoughts were so loud they broke my concentration.

I hate her. I wish she would die. I hope she drives that shiny car right off a cliff. Why couldn't she just leave Bella alone? Stick to her own kind—to the freaks.

"What?" Bella demanded.

My eyes refocused on her face. She looked at Makayla's retreating back, and then at me again.

"Newton's getting on my nerves."

Her mouth fell open, and her smile disappeared. She must have forgotten that I'd had the power to watch through her calamitous last hour, or hoped that I hadn't utilized it. "Edyth, were you listening again?"

"How's your head?"

"You're unbelievable." She rolled her eyes, and then she turned away from me and walked in the direction of the parking lot. Her skin flushed dark red—she was embarrassed.

I kept pace with her, hoping that her anger would pass soon. She was usually quick to forgive me.

"You were the one who mentioned how uncoordinated you were," I explained. "It made me curious."

She didn't answer; her eyebrows pulled together.

She came to a sudden halt in the parking lot when she realized that the way to my car was blocked by a crowd of students.

I wonder how fast they've got this thing…

Look at the SMG shift paddles. I've never seen those outside of a magazine…

Nice side grills…

Sure wish I had sixty thousand dollars laying around…

This was exactly why it was better for Royal to only use his car out of town.

I wound through the throng of lustful students to my car; after a second hesitation, Bella followed suit.

"Ostentatious," I muttered as she climbed in.

"What kind of car is that?" she wondered.

"An M3."

She shrugged. "Sorry, that doesn't mean anything to me."

"It's a BMW." I rolled my eyes and then focused on backing out without running anyone down. I had to lock eyes with a few idiots that didn't seem willing to move out of my way. A half-second meeting my gaze seemed to be enough to convince them.

She nodded, understanding lighting her face.

"Are you still angry?" I asked her. Her frown had relaxed.

"I'm not happy," She said shortly.

I sighed. Maybe I shouldn't have brought it up. Oh well. I could try to make amends, I supposed. "Will you forgive me if I apologize?"

She thought about that for a moment. "Maybe… if you mean it," she decided. "Andif you promise not to do it again."

I wasn't going to lie to her, and there was no way I was agreeing tothat. Perhaps if I offered her a different exchange.

"How about if I mean it,andI agree to let you drive Saturday?"

The furrow popped into existence between her eyes and she considered the new bargain. "Deal," she said after a moment of thought.

Now for my apology… I'd nevertriedto dazzle Bella on purpose before, but now seemed like a good time. I stared deep into her eyes as I drove away from the school, wondering if I was doing it right.

"Then I'm very sorry I upset you."

I did mean it, sincerely. Her heartbeat thudded louder than before, and the rhythm was abruptly staccato. Her eyes widened, and she smiled a little.

I half-smiled. It seemed like I'd gotten it right. Of course, I was having a bit of difficultly looking away from her eyes, too. Equally dazzled. It was a good thing I had this road memorized.

"I'll be on your doorstep bright and early Saturday morning," I added, finishing the agreement.

She blinked swiftly, shaking her head as if to clear it. "Um," she said. "it doesn't help with the Charlie situation if an unexplained Volvo is left in the driveway."

Ah, how little she still knew me. "I wasn't intending to bring the car."

"How—" she started to ask.

I interrupted her. The answer would be hard to explain without a demonstration, and now was hardly the time. "Don't worry about it. I'll be there, no car."

She put her head on one side, and looked for a second like she was going to press for more, but then she seemed to change her mind.

"Is it later yet?" she asked, reminding me of our unfinished conversation in the cafeteria today; she'd let go of one difficult question just to return to another that was more unappealing.

"I suppose it is later," I agreed unwillingly.

I parked in front of her house, tensing as I tried to think of how to explain… without making my monstrous nature too evident, without frightening her again. Or was that wrong? To minimize my darkness?

She waited with the same politely interested mask she'd worn at lunch. If I'd been less anxious, her preposterous calm would have made me laugh.

"And you still want to know why you can't see me hunt?" I asked.

"Well, mostly I was wondering about your reaction," she said.

"Did I frighten you?" I asked, positive that she would deny it.

"A bit."

I hadn't expected that. Once again, she surprised me. "I apologize for scaring you." I said solemnly. "It was just the very thought of you being there… while we hunted."

"That would be bad?"

The mental picture was too much—Bella, so vulnerable in the empty darkness; myself, out of control… I tried to banish it from my head. "Extremely."

"Because…?"

I took a deep breath, concentrating for one moment on the burning thirst. Feeling it, managing it, proving my dominion over it. It would never control me again—I willed that to be true. Iwouldbe safe for Bella. I stared at the welcome clouds without seeing them, wishing I could believe that my determination would make any difference if I were hunting when I crossed her scent.

"When we hunt… we give ourselves over to our senses," I told her, thinking through each word before I spoke it. "Govern less with our minds. Especially our sense of smell. If you were anywhere near me when I lost control that way…"

I shook my head in agony at the thought of what would—not whatcould, but whatwould—surely happen then.

I listened to the spike in her heartbeat, and then turned, restless, to read her eyes.

Bella's face was composed, her eyes grave. Her mouth was pursed just slightly in what I guessed was concern. But concern for what? Her own safety? Or my anguish? I continued to stare at her, trying to translate her ambiguous expression into sure fact.

She gazed back. Her eyes grew wider after a moment, and her pupils dilated, though the light had not changed.

My breathing accelerated, and suddenly the quiet in the car seemed to be humming just like in the darkened biology room this afternoon. The pulsing current raced between us again, and my desire to touch her was, briefly, stronger even than the demands of my thirst.

The throbbing electricity made it feel like I had a pulse again. My body sang with it. Like I was human. More than anything in the world, I wanted to feel the heat of her lips against mine. For one second, I struggled desperately to find the strength, the control, to be able to put my mouth so close to her skin…

She sucked in a ragged breath, and only then did I realize that when I had started breathing faster, she had stopped breathing altogether.

I closed my eyes, trying to break the connection between us.

No more mistakes.

Bella's existence was tied to a thousand delicately balanced chemical processes, all so easily disrupted. The rhythmic expansion of her lungs, the flow of oxygen, was life or death to her. The fluttering cadence of her fragile heart could be stopped by so many stupid accidents or illnesses or… by me.

I did not believe that any member of my family would hesitate if he or she were offered a chance back—if he or she could trade immortality for mortality again. Any one of us would stand in fire for it. Burn for as many days or centuries as were necessary.

Most of our kind prized immortality above anything else. There were even humans who craved this, who searched in dark places for those who could give them the blackest of gifts.

Not us. Not my family. We would trade anything to be human.

But none of us had ever been as desperate for a way back as I was now.

I stared at the microscopic pits and flaws in the windshield, and I had to concentrate to keep my hands on the wheel.

My right hand began to sting without pain again, from when I'd touched her before. I closed my eyes, trying to keep control.

"Bella, I think you should go inside now."

"Yeah, me too." She breathed.

Without another comment, she got out of the car and shut the door behind herself. Did she feel the potential for disaster as clearly as I did?

Did it hurt her to leave, as it hurt me to let her go? The only solace was that I would see her soon. Sooner than she would see me. I smiled at that, then rolled the window down and leaned across to speak to her one more time—it was safer now, with the heat of her body outside the car.

She turned to see what I wanted, curious.

Still curious, though she'd asked me so many questions today. My own curiosity was entirely unsatisfied; answering her questions today had only revealed my secrets—I'd gotten little from her but my own conjectures. That wasn't fair.

"Oh, Bella?"

"Yes?"

"Tomorrow it's my turn."

Her forehead puckered. "Your turn to what?"

"Ask the questions." Tomorrow, when we were in a safer place, surrounded by witnesses, I would get my own answers. I grinned at the thought, and then I turned away because she made no move to leave. Even with her outside of the car, the echo of the electricity zinged in the air. I wanted to get out, too, to walk her to her door as an excuse to stay beside her…

No more mistakes. I hit the gas, and then sighed as she disappeared behind me. It seemed like I was always running toward Bella or running away from her, never staying in place. I would have to find some way to hold my ground if we were ever going to have peace.

Of course, if I had any hope for peace I would need to face my family first. When I arrived home, I braced myself for the confrontation. I knew Alice and Emmett wouldn't give me much trouble. Emmett seemed almost amused by it all, and Alice had made her feelings abundantly clear. Jasper was unhappy, that much was obvious, but his feelings paled in comparison to Royal's absolute fury.

I was relieved—if not surprised—to see that my Aston Martin sat unscathed in the garage. Royal may have been angry, but at least he wasn'tthatangry.

When I stepped into the house, it was Carlisle's voice that greeted me first.

"Edyth, we're in the dining room."

I took a calming breath, and headed to where my family waited for me.

Idiot! Selfish! Jackass!Royal's stream of mental insults continued, seemingly unbroken, from the cafeteria.

When I reached the dining room, everyone was already sitting at the table. Carlisle at the head, Esme at his side. Alice sat next to her and I was somewhat pleased to see Jasper sitting next to her instead of standing like the last time. Emmett sat next to Royal opposite of Carlisle. Royal tapped his fingers impatiently against the wood of the table. If he wasn't careful he'd leave a dent.

Honesty is the best policy!Alice thought.It should be fine… probably.

I took another deep breath, I tried to get a read on everyone's mental state but it was hard to hear anyone else over Royal. I'd just have to jump in.

"First of all," I began, "I want to apologize. I've been acting very erratic lately. There's no excuse for that. I should also apologize for not talking to everyone about Bella—"

"Yes, you should!" Royal interrupted me. "You should apologizing for being completely irresponsible."

"C'mon, babe," Emmett put his hand on Royal's shoulder. "Calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down, Emmett." Royal snapped.

"I am sorry, Royal," I sighed. "Please believe me, I didn't mean to—"

"Do you have any idea what sort of a situation you've put us in, Edyth?" Royal snarled. "Do you even comprehend how your selfishness has affected this entire family?"

"Royal, please," Carlisle's voice was soothing. "Let's not overreact."

"I'm not overreacting, Carlisle," Royal retorted. "If anything happens there's no quietly moving away. There's no way to sweep this under the rug. She's already been seen publicly with the girl The entire school is talking about it."

"Is that true, Edyth? Are you two…?" Esme asked, I could hear the hopefulness in her voice. The happiness. I felt guilty that it pleased me so much.

"Yes, we're…" I couldn't find the right words. 'Dating' didn't seem like enough, it didn't hold the weight of my feelings for Bella. "Yes, we are."

Wonderful! Absolutely wonderful!Esme's joy radiated from her thoughts and her smile.

Carlisle smiled as well, thought he didn't speak.I'm happy for you, Edyth. You deserve to be happy.

Alice was practically vibrating with excitement.

"We're pleased that Edyth has taken up with some human?" Royal rolled his eyes at the various reactions around the table. "That's she's gonepublicwith it all?"

"She seems like a fine enough kid," Emmett said, surprising me by jumping to my defense against Royal.

"I couldn't care less what kind of a person she is, Emmett." Royal glowered. "I care that she'shumanand she knowseverything."

"But she's not going to tell anyone, Roy," Emmett replied. "She saw Edyth hold up a van and she didn't say anything. Edyth spilled everything to her and she didn't say anything. I'm pretty sure the kid is going to keep our secret."

Like this afternoon, I was grateful to Emmett for always being the best I could ask for in a brother. Even in the face of Royal's fury he was willing to help me.

"And what happens if Edyth kills her? What happens if Edyth changes her?" Royal snarled.

The growls erupted from my throat before I could stop them.

"I won't. I will keep her alive no matter what." I hissed. "I'd sooner die than harm her."

"Alice has already seen it, Edyth." Royal countered. "You're fighting a losing battle."

"I've seen a lot of things," Alice chimed in. "Bella's future is always changing, but dying isn't her only future."

And it was true. I could see the visions as they danced through her mind. The ones I hated, and new, unclear, shimmering futures that weren't quite formed—still undecided. Bella had many futures and I would make sure she stayed happy and alive to see them.

"Royal, I think we can all agree that Edyth is entitled to some happiness." Carlisle said, his voice calm. "Would you deny her that?"

Royal fumed, his thoughts a cacophony of anger.

"Babe," Emmett sighed. "If it were the other way around, would you want Edyth doing this to you? If you found me alive and not dying in the mountains?"

"I'd have had the common sense to stay away." Royal snapped, before pushing himself away from the table and stalking out of the room.

Emmett sighed, looked at me and shrugged. "I tried, kid."

"He didn't mean that." I said in a low voice. I felt wretched that Emmett should take the brunt of any of Royal's anger, given that he was only trying to help me. "He wouldn't have stayed away."

"I know," Emmett grinned. "and I don't need to read his mind to know it."

"I'm sorry, Em."

He stood and crossed the room to me and put his arm around my shoulder, clapping me on the back. "I got your back, Edyth. If this Swan kid makes you happy, then I'm happy for you."

"Thank you, Emmett."

I know how hard this is for you, to be around her. Trust me. If you haven't killed her yet—if you're trying this hard… You've got to be crazy about her. I don't get it, but it's your life, I guess.

He grinned, and followed after Royal to try and calm him down.

I looked back to Carlisle. "I am sorry I put us at risk, and I'm sorry I told Bella everything without talking to any of you."

Carlisle shook his head, smiling. "You know how I feel, Edyth. I'm pleased that you've found happiness." He rose from his chair, taking Esme's hand as she rose from hers.

As they walked past, Carlisle squeezed my shoulder and Esme gave me a tight hug.

"It will all work out, Edyth." Esme smiled. "It just has to."

Alice stood and crossed the room, she stopped at the doorway and looked back at me. "Esme's right," she said with confidence. "It'll be fine. Let me know when I can talk to her!" And she was gone.

Jasper didn't move. He seemed pensive, uncertain.

"You haven't said much." I broke the silence. "You haven't been thinking of much, either."

Jasper pursed his lips for a moment, then he sighed. "I'm just worried, Edyth."

"I know you are."

"Royal has a point, that's all I'm going to say."

"I'm not ignorant of that," I sighed. "Thank you, by the way, for helping with the mood of the room there." I said dryly.

The corners of Jaspers mouth twitched as he fought a smile.

It's better to let Royal get all that anger out, unimpeded. It's worse if I temper it—just makes it fester and last longer.

"A fair point."

"Are you really serious about this human?" He asked, his eyes serious.

Was I serious? Could I have done everything I had up to this point if I wasn't serious? If I didn't love Bella so much, if she didn't mean so much to me, would I even be standing here having this conversation?

"Jasper," I met his gaze. "She means everything to me. I can't imagine my world without her in it. I'll never deserve her but… I love her."

Jasper finally smiled.Then good luck. I can't even begin to understand your obsession with the girl, but I'll do what I can to keep the peace.He stood and crossed the room, pausing at the door.But I'm also keeping my distance.

I could appreciate that. It saved me the trouble of asking him to. I knew Jasper wouldn't willingly hurt Bella, but being the magnet for trouble she was, I imagined Bella might be the one human to finally break Jasper's tenuous self-control. I shuddered at the thought and banished it from my mind.

"Jasper?"

"Hm?" He paused again, turning slightly to look back at me.

"Have you ever… Has there every been anyone who smelled better to you? Than any of the others?"

He thought about this for a moment, considering it. "Honestly, they all smell about the same to me." He shrugged.Every one of them is a challenge for me, you know that maybe better than anyone.

He was right, I knew what a challenge being around humans was for Jasper. But I didn't want to think about that now. I pushed everything out, I only wanted to think of Bella. I still had some time before she would be asleep. I sat down at the piano and played, waiting for the moment I could see her again.

Bella was restless that night as she slept. I had thought that some distance would help to calm the electric feeling between us, but the moment I crept in through the window the echo intensified into a full spark. Tonight, more than any other, I ached to be near her. But I had to be careful—I had to keep control. I said I would make no more mistakes.

Bella tossed about her bed frequently. Fitful and unable to relax. Her brow would furrow and unfurrow. I longed to comfort her, but I didn't even know what was wrong.

She murmured my name several times. Nothing else, simply my name. Eventually she kicked off all her blankets. A few times, her breathing would speed up and her mumbling would turn into wordless groans. I was sure she woke up more than once, but she wouldn't be able to see me from my place on the rocking chair in the corner. The shadows hid me well enough.

As I watched her, so fragile, so beautiful, and so full of secrets, I felt that new hunger ache inside of me. I needed to know every facet of her, Not simply because she was a walking mystery, but because I loved her. Because she meant everything to me. I could not ask for her love if I didn't know her better than anyone else… and I would. Today, I would find out everything I so desperately wanted to know.

It wasn't until the early hours of the morning that she finally seemed to fall into a true sleep. She didn't speak anymore, most likely too exhausted. I reluctantly crept out of her window and hurried home to change for school.

As I drove to Bella's house, I was forming a comprehensive list of all the questions I had for her. No detail was too small or insignificant. I was slightly surprised when I passed Chief Swan's cruiser on my way. He had left later than usual today, and I wondered why. Charlie Swan was usually a very timely man. As we passed on the road, I could hear the muffled thoughts radiating from his mind—joy and pride, mixed with a deep love and a fierce protectiveness. All centered around his daughter. I wondered what had inspired these thoughts, or rather, what made them so loud today; louder than usual.

I parked my car in the driveway, listening for sounds of Bella inside the house. After a moment, I saw her face peek out of her window, a smile spreading across her face.

Would I ever not feel that swell of utter elation that filled me she seemed excited to see me? I hoped I would not . It was bliss.

She bounded out the door, and I formulated my first question while simultaneously trying to calm myself down and appear relaxed.

"Good morning," I smiled at her as she climbed into the car. "How are you today?" I searched her face, trying to see if I could deduce the answer from her expression. Her expression was especially radiant this morning. "You seem to be very happy?" I wondered if it had anything to do with Charlie's thoughts.

"I am." Her smile was wide, effortless. "It was a good morning."

Perhaps it was, but the signs of her restless night were evident on her face. "But not a good night." It wasn't a question, I knew it hadn't been.

"I couldn't sleep," she shrugged, like it didn't matter in the slightest.

I smiled, feeling slightly mischievous. "Neither could I," I said as I started the engine.

She laughed at my joke, "I guess that's right. I suppose I slept just a little bit more than you did."

"I'd wager you did."

"So what did you do last night?" She smiled at me.

I watched you sleep and wished I could hold you in my arms and kiss you.Yes, that was a good, light topic of conversation. Best to avoid that. "Not a chance. It's my day to ask questions."

"Oh, that's right." She smiled, seeming unbothered by my deflection. Usually she didn't like it when I avoided her questions. "You're lucky I'm in such a good mood. Ask away."

She was in averygood mood. I knew she didn't like answering questions all about her—she didn't like being the center of conversation. I would have to be sure I took advantage of this situation and ask as many questions as I could.

"What's your favorite color?" I asked. I was eager to hear all her answers and my face betrayed my desperate need to know every answer in her private mind.

Bella simply stared at me for a moment, before laughing. "I don't know," she said, sounding amused, "it changes from day to day."

"What's your favorite color today?"

"Uh, probably brown." She said thoughtfully.

I snorted, caught off guard by her response. What an odd answer. Of course, she was dressed in mostly brown tones today, perhaps that had something to do with her answer?

"Brown?" I pushed.

"Sure. Brown is warm. Imissbrown. Everything that's supposed to be brown—the trunks, rocks, dirt—is all covered up in green stuff here."

I stared into her eyes, engrossed in her answer. It wasn't the answer I would have expected from anyone and yet, it made perfect sense the way she explained it. In Arizona, brown would be the color most prevalent in her day to day life and she missed living in Arizona, the heat, the sun…

It also told me something new about her. She found the beauty in the unconventional. She looked beyond superficial ideas of beauty.

"You're right," I agreed, my voice serious. "Brown is warm." I could see the beauty in brown as well, like the beautiful deep brown of her hair. I noticed her hair was slightly disheveled this morning, like she hadn't paid much attention to it this morning. I could reach over and smooth her hair back. That was a normal, human gesture, right? An acceptable thing to do? I concentrated on being as gentle as I could, even then, I was hesitant to touch her. I could so easily hurt her. I smoothed out her hair, feeling proud of myself for doing it so gently.

She smiled in response, like she was amused. Had I done it wrong? Surely I had done it correctly. Why did she look so amused by it?

As I pulled into a parking space at the school, I turned to her, ready to ask my next question.

"What music is in your CD player right now?" It was a question that had been gnawing away at me the past several nights I had spent watching her sleep. I wanted to go look in her CD player myself, but that seemed like an invasion—well,moreof an invasion than climbing into her room at night.

She thought about it for a moment, trying to remember. "Avenged sevenfold." She said after a moment.

I hadn't expected that answer, but I knew the band well. My only frame of reference for her music taste was some classical music. I flipped open the compartment under my car's CD player, and pulled out the one I was looking for, handing it to her.

"Debussy to this?" I asked, amused by the stark difference.

She examined the cover art of the CD for a moment, her eyes bright with a sense of familiarity.

Always a surprise.

The rest of the day progressed much the same. I had my list of questions for her and asked them one after the other. Every detail was important to me. By the end of lunch I knew her favorite and least favorite films, where she had traveled—not very many places, I asked for a list of places she wanted to travel to and made a mental note of them for future reference—and an exhaustive list of every book she read and what she thought of each of them.

She seemed to feel self-conscious most of the time. I was sure she wasn't used to talking about herself so much, but I was absolutely fascinated by each of her answers. I would scrutinize her physical response to each question just as thoroughly as her answer. Each little blush or change in posture only compelled me to ask more questions to ascertain what had caused the response in the first place.

Like when I asked her her favorite gemstone, something I thought to be a simple enough question; mostly inconsequential, but still utterly fascinating to me.

"Topaz," she said immediately, and then her faced turned scarlet and her breathing caught for a moment. Her eyes widened as they looked into mine, like she had said something she hadn't meant to.

"Why Topaz?" I asked, curious.

She shook her head, "Doesn't matter… just because."

That wasn't an acceptable answer; too vague. I focused my eyes on hers, and used my most persuasive tone.

"You have to have a reason why it's your favorite."

She blushed deeper, and bit her lips.

How infuriating! Why wouldn't she tell me? It only made the truth more interesting.

"Tell me," I begged.

She reached her hand up and started twisting a curl around her finger. "It's the color of your eyes today," she sighed, staring at the ground. "I suppose if you asked me in two weeks I'd say onyx." She blushed even deeper, embarrassed for some strange reason.

I was thrilled. Something aboutmehad inspired one of her favorite things. My joy was marred slightly by the fact that, again, the fact that my eyes changed their hue depending on how long it had been since I last fed didn't seemed to phase her in the slightest.

But I didn't want to waste time thinking about that. I had more questions.

"What kinds of flowers do you prefer?"

She sighed, with relief. "I think ruffled tulips are pretty."

And we continued with my questions as we walked to Biology, as we sat in our usual chairs, and even right up until Mrs. Banner wheeled in the audiovisual frame.

Ah, I had been so absorbed in my questions and her answers that I hadn't thought about this. We still had some of the film to finish. I braced myself for the oncoming hour, easing my chair as far away as I could from her. She leaned forward on the table, resting her chin on her folded arms. Her hands hidden from my view.

The electric charge between us was not the same as the day before; it was even more intense. She didn't look at me today, her eyes stayed focused on the screen. I, despite feeling that it would only make the hour more difficult, was free to watch her. I wanted to test my own resolve—my own self-control—today.

How badly I wished I could touch her. It was more than a wish, it was a need. A need to stroke her cheek, to feel the warmth of her hands in my own… but I could not make mistakes. I could not give in to those desires. Bella needed me to be stronger than that for her.

When the hour was finally up, she looked up at me with wide eyes, I managed to keep my own expression even despite the strong desire to touch her still burning deep within me. It took every ounce of my effort and self-control to not reach out.

I couldn't bring myself to ask any questions as I walked her to the gym building. I was fiercely debating with myself. Why shouldn't I reach out and touch her? If I was careful, if I was as gentle as I could be, why shouldn't I permit myself a few, gentle touches?

When we reached the doors of the gym, she turned to face me. I finally permitted myself that touch, almost eager for that electric burning sensation I was sure it would cause. This time, though, I foolishly pushed myself. Instead of a finger, I ran the back of my hand along the side of her face, from her temple to her jaw. Sure enough, the touch burned. The heat of her skin burned into my own stony flesh, but there was no pain. Even as I pulled my hand away, like yesterday, it continued to burn.

Her face was flushed as she watched me, her heartbeat irregular. Her lips were slightly parted, and my resolve wavered. I wanted to touch her lips, I wanted to feel the velvety softness of them…

No mistakes.

I turned and hurried away to my own class, struggling to keep my pace human.

Emmett met me outside the building, whatever his thoughts were, he did his best to keep them to himself today, I was too preoccupied to truly pay attention anyway. I was cataloguing all the answers I had gotten today, filing them away for future reference, analyzing the unexpected ones, and deciding what to ask next. I had kept the topics fairly light so far. After school, I would push for the more complicated questions.

I occasionally would let myself check in with Makayla Newton's thoughts to check on Bella. Makayla's thoughts were unpleasant today; she was mad at Bella about their previous argument, and Bella's unfocused expression only enforced Makayla's resolve to not speak to her. I tried not to watch for too long, after all, Bella would be upset if she knew I was watching her in Gym again and I wouldn't lie if she asked me if I had.

How's it going today?Emmett's thoughts finally reached out to me, as we walked out of class.She still okay with everything?

I nodded slightly.

Alice was telling me how great she is, she mused.Is she as great as she says?

I rolled my eyes. Alice hadn't even properly met Bella yet, and still she was talking about her like they were already great friends.

Emmett chuckled.It's how she is, Edyth, don't get too mad.

Emmett hurried off to meet up with Royal, and I glared after him for a moment before crossing the campus to the gym building.

I was surprised that Alice met me there.

"Hello, Alice." I greeted her warily.

"Hello," she said, seeming distracted. "Don't be out too late today dropping off Bella. Best be home before it gets dark."

Cryptic, as usual. I scanned her thoughts for what she was seeing. Flashes of visitors to the Swan residence. It wasn't decided yet, but someone was thinking of visiting Bella today, vacillating between decisions.

I don't know who it is, I'm only looking at Bellas future, and she's probably going to have an unexpected visitor, but I don't know whose decisions to watch to tell you who it is. Another complication. So, be careful.

"Thanks, Alice." I nodded and she hurried off to meet the rest of my family.

Just a visitor, nothing overly complicated. Yet, it had been enough to make Alice warn me that I didn't want to be around for it. The tone of her vision, uncertain as it was, imparted a sense that I should not be there.

Bella walked out of the gym at that moment, her eyes searching for me. A wide smile spread across her face when she found me, and I couldn't help but smile in response. I wanted to ask how her hour was, but now I only had a few short hours with her so I needed to ask my questions while I could.

She still seemed game to answer me as we walked to the car and headed back to her house. We reached her home, but I was in no hurry to leave her. Her answers had become more detailed, perhaps in response to the complexity of my questions. I was enthralled with every response. We sat in my car outside her house for hours, even as the sky darkened and the rain poured down.

She described to me, in stunning and descriptive detail—gesticulating widely—her memories of Phoenix. The smell of creosote, the sound of the cicadas, the delicately barren trees, and the sky. She spent most of her time describing the skies of Phoenix. I could hear her fascination with the beauty of it all.

Forks was beautiful; the tall green trees, the mossy ground, the gray watercolor skies, but as she described the vast expanse of Phoenix to me, the openness, the freedom of it all, the bright, sunlit iridescence, I almost felt like I was there myself… But it was a sight I would probably never see with my own eyes.

She was describing her mother's home, and her old room. I listened to every detail, but even then my mind still seemed preoccupied with her descriptions of sunny Phoenix. That was her world; warm, bright, and sunny. It was not my world, could not be my world. I lived in the shadows, the darkness, and the cold. Further reminders of the difference between us. I was so engrossed in my thoughts, that I failed to respond when she finished talking.

"Are you finished?" she asked, sounding relieved.

"Not even close," I replied, glancing at the time, "but your father will be home soon." And I had stayed later than I should have, given Alice's warning.

"Charlie!" She gasped, like she had forgotten where we were or what time it was. She sighed as she looked out at the dark skies. "How late is it?" She wondered aloud, glancing at the clock.

"It's twilight," I murmured, glancing to the west. It was a further reminder. This was where I belonged. Here in this place between day and night, living and dead. I turned to face her, and she was staring at me, her eyes full of curiosity.

"It's the safest time of day for us, the easiest time." My voice was somber. "But also the saddest, in a way… the end of another day, the return of the night. Darkness is so predictable, don't you think?"

So cold, so unwelcoming. The darkness was where monsters like myself belonged. We didn't deserve to walk in the light where creatures like her flourished. My world and hers, in direct opposition with one another.

Yes, she belonged to the light and I belonged to the dark, and yet, there was the twilight. The place where those two worlds met, where it was light enough for her and dark enough for me. Where we could meet in the middle…

"I like the night." She said suddenly. "Without the dark, we'd never see the stars." Then she frowned. "Not that you see them here much."

A laugh broke through my lips. Of course this strange, beautiful girl would enjoy the night. She was some strange, divine being that dared to dance upon the cruel earth. Why should it surprise me that this creature of the light would find beauty in the dark? After all, she was here, with me.

But my time with her was up, for now.

"Charlie will be here in a few minutes. So, unless you want to tell him that you'll be with me Saturday…" I trailed off, hopeful.

"I don't think he's ready for that." She said, gathering her books and stretching. "So, is it my turn tomorrow, then?"

"Certainly not!" I said, teasing her with an outraged expression. "I told you I wasn't done, didn't I?"

"What more is there?"

"You'll find out tomorrow." I promised, reaching across her to open her door for her. It was a foolish, impulsive thing to do. I heard her heartbeat spasm, the heat radiating off of her. I froze, anxious. I was so close to her. I wanted to close the small distance between us. I stared into her wide eyes, my emotions and desires in chaos.

Bella already has a visitor… Damn, that's a nice car…A thought intruded into the moment, I tried to pay it no mind.

It can't be!

The second mind I could not ignore. I hadn't heard it before, but I recognized something in it. The ancient authority of it and the thoughts that raced through it.

I stiffened and my jaw clenched. My eyes were wild with sudden panic.

"Not good," I mumbled.

"What is it?" Bella breathed, examining my expression.

I glanced her up and down, desperate to stay with her, but, of course, I needed to be anywherebuthere with her right now. "Another complication," I replied. Just as Alice had said.

The flash of the headlights reflected off of the rain as the dark car carrying Bella's unexpected visitors pulled up to the curb just a few feet from us.

As if to add to my troubles, I then caught the muffled thoughts of Chief Swan around the corner as well. "Charlie's around the corner," I told Bella, my eyes locked on the dark car.

Bella immediately jumped out of the car, the rain glancing off her jacket. She tried to make out the occupants of the car, but her eyes couldn't see through the rain. But mine could.

I paid no attention to the people in the driver's seat, but the older man sitting in the passenger seat of the car, with his russet skin, long hair, and his deep black eyes, was unknown to me and yet perfectly familiar. I could see his resemblance to Ephraim Black.

All these years later, the memory of Ephraim Black's face was still perfectly preserved in my mind. The Quileutes had made quite the impression on us, after all. I recalled the name of the man now; Billy Black, grandson of Ephraim. His eyes were locked on my face, illuminated by the glow of the headlights. Worry and a sense of anger pulsing through his mind.

It was unfair that I should have to leave now. I had done nothing wrong. We had been meticulous about honoring the treaty. It had not been broken. A part of me wanted to stay, an act of defiance against this man. But that would be foolish of me.

It would be best if I made my exit. I revved the engine of the Volvo and pealed out of the driveway. Hurrying away. Retreating like the monster I was.

The Quileutes had a long memory, and now the grandson of Ephraim Black knew that I, a Cullen, was involved in some way with Bella Swan.

Another complication.


	24. balancing Bella pov

"Billy!" Charlie called as soon as he got out of the car. I turned toward the house, beckoning to Julie as I ducked under the porch. I heard Charlie greeting them loudly behind me.

"I'm going to pretend I didn't see you behind the wheel, Jules," he said disapprovingly.

"I just got my license, Charlie!" Julie said while I unlocked the door and flicked on the porch light.

"Oh, did you?" Charlie laughed.

"About time. I had to get around somehow." I recognized Billy's resonant voice easily, despite the years. The sound of it made me feel suddenly younger, a child.

I went inside, leaving the door open behind me and turning on the lights before I hung up my jacket. Then I stood in the door, watching anxiously as Charlie and Julie helped Billy out of the car and into wheelchair.

I backed out of the way as the three of them hurried in, shaking off the rain.

"This is a surprise," Charlie was saying.

"It's been too long," Billy answered. "I hope it's not a bad time." His dark eyes flashed up to me again, their expression unreadable.

"No, it's great. I hope you can stay for the game."

Julie grinned. "I think that's the plan—our TV broke yesterday."

Billy made a face at his daughter. "And, of course, Julie was anxious to see Bella again," he added. Julie scowled and ducked her head while I fought back a smile. I couldn't help but feel flattered by it.

"Are you hungry?" I asked, gesturing toward the kitchen. Despite wanting to see Julie, I was eager to escape Billy's searching gaze.

"Naw, we ate just before we came," Julie answered.

"How about you, Charlie?" I called over my shoulder as I turned and fled around the corner.

"Sure," he replied, his voice moving in the direction of the front room and the TV. I could hear Billy's chair follow.

The grilled cheese sandwiches were in the frying pan and I was about to slice up a tomato when I sensed someone behind me.

"So, how are things?" Julie asked.

"Pretty good." I smiled. Her warmth and charm were hard to resist.

"It's good to see you again, Bella." She pulled me into a hug.

"It's good to see you too, Jules." I laughed, hugging her back. "So how are you? Did you finish your car?" I asked, looking up at her smiling face.

"No." She frowned. "I still need parts. We borrowed that one." She pointed her thumb in the direction of the front yard.

"Sorry. I haven't seen any… what was it you were looking for?"

"Master cylinder." She grinned. "Is something wrong with the truck?"

"No." I said, turning back to the sandwiches.

"Oh. I just wondered because you weren't driving it."

I stared down at the pan, pulling up the edge of a sandwich to check the bottom side. "I got a ride with a friend."

"Nice ride." Julie's voice was admiring. "I didn't recognize the driver, though. I thought I knew most of the kids around here."

I nodded noncommittally, keeping my eyes down as I flipped sandwiches.

"My dad seemed to know her from somewhere."

"Jules, could you hand me some plates? They're in the cupboard over the sink."

"Sure."

She got the plates in silence. I hoped she would let it drop now.

"So who was it?" she asked, setting two plates on the counter next to me.

I sighed in defeat. "Edyth Cullen."

To my surprise, she laughed. I glanced up at her. She looked a little embarrassed.

"Guess that explains it, then," she said. "I wondered why my dad was acting so strange."

"That's right." I tried to look innocent. "He doesn't like the Cullens."

"Superstitious old man," Julie muttered under her breath.

"You don't think he'd say anything to Charlie?" I couldn't help asking, the words coming out in a low rush.

Julie stared at me for a moment, and I couldn't read the expression in her dark eyes. "I doubt it," she finally answered. "I think Charlie chewed him out pretty good last time. They haven't spoken much since—tonight is sort of reunion, I think. I don't think he'd bring it up again."

"Oh," I said, feeling relieved.

We stood in silence for a moment as I plated the sandwiches.

"So," Julie finally said, "could I convince you to hang out and watch the game?" She kicked her feet. "If you want to, I mean. If you have stuff to do…"

I couldn't help but smile. "I'd love to, Jules."

She grinned back at me.

I carried the food out to Charlie, trying to keep up with the game, but mostly just chatting with Julie. Every once in a while, I would eavesdrop, watching for any sign that Billy was about to rat me out, trying to think of ways to stop him if he began.

Despite enjoying Julie's company, it was a long night. I had a lot of homework that was going undone, but I was afraid to leave Billy alone with Charlie. Eventually, the game ended.

"Are you and your friends coming back to the beach soon?" Julie asked as she pushed her father over the lip of the threshold.

"I'm not sure," I shrugged, "but you know you can always come visit me here." I smiled warmly.

Julie grinned widely.

"That was fun, Charlie," Billy said.

"Come up for the next game," Charlie encouraged.

"Sure, sure," Billy said. "We'll be here. Have a good night." His eyes shifted to mine, and his smile disappeared. "You take care, Bella," he added seriously.

"Thanks," I muttered, looking away. Billy's gaze felt heavy.

I headed for the stairs while Charlie waved from the doorway.

"Wait, Bella," he said.

I stiffened. Had Billy gotten something in while I wasn't paying attention?

But Charlie was relaxed, still grinning from the unexpected visit.

"I didn't get a chance to talk to you tonight. How was your day?"

"Oh, good." I smiled, thinking of what details were safe to share. "My badminton team won all four games."

"Wow, I didn't know you could play badminton."

"Well, actually I can't, but my partner is really good," I admitted.

"Who is it?" he asked with token interest.

"Makayla Newton," I answered.

"Oh yeah—you said you were friends with the Newton kid." He perked up. "Nice family." He mused for a minute. "Was she one of the girls who asked you?"

"Dad," I sighed. "She's kind of dating my friend Jeremy. Besides, you know I can't dance."

"Oh yeah," he muttered. Then he smiled at me apologetically. "Sorry, Bella."

"Don't be sorry, Dad." I smiled a little, "I appreciate you asking, though."

"Well," Charlie always got awkward during sentimental moments, "I guess it's good you'll be gone Saturday… I've made plans to go fishing with the guys from the station. The weather's supposed to be real warm. But if you wanted to put your trip off till someone could go with you, I'd stay home. I know I leave you here alone too much."

"Dad, you're doing a great job." I smiled. "I've never minded being alone—I'm too much like you." I laughed, and he smiled his crinkly-eyed smile.

I slept better that night, too tired to dream again. When I woke to the pearl gray morning, my mood was blissful. I had enjoyed my evening with Julie, and the tenseness Billy had brought with him seemed harmless now; I decided to forget it completely. I caught myself humming while I was mussing with my hair, and later again as I walked down the stairs. Charlie noticed.

"You're cheerful this morning," he commented over breakfast.

I shrugged. "It's Friday."

I hurried so I would be ready to go the second Charlie left. I had my bag ready, shoes on, teeth brushed, but even though I rushed to the door as soon as I was sure Charlie would be out of sight, Edyth was faster. She was waiting in her shiny car, windows down, engine off.

I climbed in the passenger side quickly, eager to see her face. She grinned her crooked smile at me, making my heart beat faster. I couldn't imagine anyone more gorgeous. There was nothing about her that could be improved upon.

"How did you sleep?" she asked. I wondered if she had any idea how appealing her voice was. I was sure she did.

"Fine, thanks. How was your night?"

"Pleasant." Her smile was amused; I felt like I was missing an inside joke.

"Can I ask what you did?" I asked.

"No." She grinned. "Today is still mine."

She wanted to know about people today: more about Renée, her hobbies, what we'd done in our free time together. And then the one grandfather I'd known, my few school friends—embarrassing me when she asked about girls I'd dated. I was relieved that I'd never really dated anyone, so that particular conversation couldn't last long. She seemed as surprised as Jeremy and Allen by my lack of romantic history.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" she asked in a serious tone that made me wonder what she was thinking about.

"Well, that's really a different question, isn't it?" I joked. She didn't look amused, so I sighed and decided to be honest. "Not in Phoenix."

Her lips pressed together into a hard line.

We were in the cafeteria at this point. The day had sped by in the blur that was rapidly becoming routine. I took advantage of her brief pause to take a bite of my bagel.

"I should have let you drive yourself today," she announced, apropos of nothing, while I chewed.

"Why?"

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch." She said softly, looking guilty.

"Oh." I blinked, a bit disappointed. "That's okay, it's not that far of a walk."

She frowned at me impatiently. "I'm not going to make you walk home just because I was selfish today."

"How were you selfish?" I questioned.

"I knew I was leaving after lunch, and I still wanted to spend as much time with you this morning. I should have let you drive yourself." She mused, "But I'm a horrifically selfish creature and I enjoy your presence too much." She grinned down at me.

I blushed, "It's really okay, I don't mind walking."

"I already told you, I'm not going to make you walk. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me," I sighed.

She shook her head. "Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition—unless you're afraid someone might steal it." She laughed at the thought.

"Hey, respect the truck." I pursed my lips. I was pretty sure my key was in the picket of a pair of jeans I wore Wednesday, under a pile of clothes in the laundry room. Even if she broke into my house, or whatever she was planning, she'd never find it. She seemed to sense my doubt and took it as a challenge. She smirked, overconfident.

"So where are you going?" I asked casually.

"Hunting," she answered grimly. "If I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." Her face grew morose… and pleading. "You can always cancel, you know."

I looked down, afraid of the persuasive power of her eyes. I refused to be convinced to leave her alone. I was too stubborn to run away in the face of fear. The danger was real and I was always aware of it, but again, I chose to trust Edyth. Not because of what she was, but despite it.

"Nope," I said softly, glancing back at her face. "I can't."

"Perhaps you're right," she murmured bleakly. Her eyes seemed to darken in color as I watched.

I changed the subject to keep her from brooding. "What time will I see you tomorrow?" I asked, excitement evident in my voice.

"That depends… It's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?" she offered.

"No," I answered too fast. I sighed. "Honestly, I'd like as much time with you outside of school as I can get."

She restrained a smile. "The same time as usual, then," she decided. "Will Charlie be there?"

"No, he's fishing tomorrow." I was pleased at how conveniently things had worked out.

Her voice turned sharp. "And if you don't come home, what will he think?"

"I have no idea," I answered coolly. "He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer."

She scowled at me and I teased her by scowling back.

"What are you hunting tonight?" I asked when I grew tired of scowling.

"Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far." She seemed bemused by my casual reference to her secret realities.

"Why are you going with Alice?" I wondered.

"Alice is the most… supportive." She frowned as she spoke.

"And the others?" I asked nervously. "What are they?"

Her brow puckered for a brief moment. "Incredulous, for the most part."

I peeked quickly behind me at her family. They sat staring off in different directions, exactly the same as the first time I'd seen them. Only now they were four; their beautiful, bronze-haired sister sat across from me, her golden eyes troubled.

"They don't like me," I guessed.

"That's not it," she disagreed, but her eyes were too innocent. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."

I sighed. "Neither do I, for that matter."

Edyth shook her head slowly, rolling her eyes toward the ceiling before she met my gaze again. "I told you—you don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me."

I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering if she was teasing me.

She smiled as she deciphered my expression. "Having the advantages I do," she murmured, touching her forehead discreetly, "I have a better than average grasp of human nature. People are predictable. But you… You never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

I looked away, my eyes wandering back to her family, feeling embarrassed. I couldn't help feel a little disappointed, too, but I wasn't sure why.

"That part is easy enough to explain," she continued. I felt her eyes on my face but I couldn't look at her yet, afraid she might read the chagrin in my eyes. "But there's more… and it's not so easy to put into words—"

I was still staring at the Cullens while she spoke. Suddenly Royal, her blond and breathtaking brother, turned to look at me. No, not to look—to glare, with dark, cold eyes. I wanted to look away, but his gaze held me until Edyth broke off mid-sentence and made an angry noise under her breath. It was almost a hiss.

Royal turned his head, and I was relieved to be free. I looked back at Edyth—and I knew she could see the confusion and fear that widened my eyes.

Her face was tight as she explained. "I'm sorry about that. He's just worried. You see… it's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" she looked down.

"If?"

"If this ends… badly." She dropped her head into her hands, as she had that night in Port Angeles. Her anguish was plain; I wanted to comfort her, but I didn't know how to begin. My hand reached toward her involuntarily; quickly, though, I dropped it to the table, fearing that my touch might only make things worse. I realized how conflicted I felt because her words frightened me, but I still felt an ache for her pain.

And I felt frustration—frustration that Royal had interrupted whatever she was about to say. I didn't know how to bring it up again. She still had her head in her hands.

I tried to speak in a normal voice. "And you have to leave now?"

"Yes." She raised her face; it was serious for a moment, and then her mood shifted and she smiled. "It's probably for the best. We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology—I don't think I could take any more."

Something about her tone made me wonder if she meant the movie, or that delightfully agonizing electricity that charged the room when the lights were off.

I started from my thoughts, suddenly. Alice—her short, inky hair in perfectly styled finger waves complimenting her delicate, elfin face—was suddenly behind her shoulder. Her slight frame was willowy, graceful even in absolute stillness.

She greeted her without looking away from me. "Alice."

"Edyth," she answered, her high soprano voice was almost as beautiful as hers.

"Alice, Bella—Bella, Alice," she introduced us, gesturing casually with her hand, a wry smile on her face.

"Hello, Bella." Her brilliant obsidian eyes were unreadable, but her smile was friendly. "It's nice to finally meet you."

Edyth flashed a dark look at her.

"Hi, Alice," I smiled shyly.

"Are you ready?" she asked her.

Her voice was aloof. "Nearly. I'll meet you at the car."

She left without another word; her walk was so fluid, so sinuously beautiful.

"Should I say 'have fun,' or is that the wrong sentiment?" I asked, turning back to her.

"No, 'have fun' works as well as anything." She grinned.

"Have fun, then." I tried to sound wholehearted, but my disappointment in our shortened day was still evident.

"I'll try." She still grinned. "And you try to be safe, please."

"Safe in Forks—what a challenge."

"For you it is a challenge." Her jaw hardened. "Promise."

"I promise to try to be safe," I recited. Her worry was a little much. "I'll do the laundry tonight—that ought to be fraught with peril."

"Don't fall in," She mocked.

"I'll do my best, but I make no guarantees."

She stood then, and I rose, too.

"I'll see you tomorrow," I sighed.

"It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?" she mused.

I nodded glumly.

"I'll be there in the morning," she promised, smiling her crooked smile. She reached across the table to touch my face, lightly brushing along my cheekbone. Then she turned and walked away. I stared at her until she was gone.

I was sorely tempted to ditch the rest of the day, at the very least Gym, but a warning instinct stopped me. I knew that if I disappeared now, Makayla and others would assume I was with Edyth and I didn't need them to be gossiping. Besides, Edyth was concerned about the time we spent together publicly…if things went wrong. I tried not to put too much thought into that last thought, I concentrated instead on making things easier for her. Perhaps the rest of her family would warm up to me, I mused.

I intuitively knew—and sensed she did, too—that tomorrow would be pivotal. Our relationship couldn't continue to balance, as it did, on the edge of a knife. We would fall off one edge or the other, depending upon my decision, or her instincts. My decision was mostly made; I chose Edyth. I chose to embrace this danger and fear and not let it control me. I could leave anytime I wanted to, but I didn't want to leave her.

I went to class, feeling dutiful. I couldn't honestly say what happened in Biology; my mind was too preoccupied with thoughts of tomorrow. In Gym, Makayla was speaking to me again; she wished me a good time in Seattle. I carefully explained that I'd canceled my trip, worried about my truck.

"Are you going to the dance with the freak?" she asked, suddenly sulky.

"No, I'm not going to the dance at all."

"What are you doing, then?" She asked, sounded a bit accusatory.

My knee-jerk reaction was to tell her butt out, but I didn't want to be mean. I decided to just stick to my laundry story.

"Laundry, and then I have to study for the Trig test or I'm going to fail."

"Is the freak helping you study?"

"Edyth," I emphasized, "is not going to help me study. She's gone away somewhere this weekend." The lies came more naturally than they ought to, and I felt guilty.

"Oh." She perked up. "You know, you could come to the dance with our group anyway—that would be cool. We'd all dance with you," she promised.

"I'm not going to the dance, Makayla." I repeated, "Thank you, though."

"Fine." She sulked again. "I was just offering."

When the school day had finally ended, I walked to the parking lot without enthusiasm. I didn't really want to walk home, but I could see how would have retrieved my truck. Then again, I was starting to believe that nothing was impossible for her. The latter instinct proved correct—my truck sat in the same space she'd parked her Volvo in this morning. I shook my head, incredulous, as I opened the unlocked door and saw the key in the ignition.

There was a piece of white paper folded on my seat. I got in and closed the door before I unfolded it. Two words were written in her elegant script.

Be safe.

The sound of the truck roaring to life frightened me. I laughed at myself.

When I got home, the handle of the door was locked, the dead bolt unlocked, just as I'd left it this morning. Inside, I went straight to the laundry room. It looked just the same as I'd left it, too. I dug for my jeans and, after finding them, checked the pockets. Empty. Maybe I'd hung my key up after all, I thought, shaking my head.

Following the same instinct that had prompted me to lie to Makayla, I called Jeremy to wish him luck at the dance. When he offered the same wish for my day with Edyth, I told him about the cancellation. He was more disappointed than really necessary—no doubt dismayed that he wouldn't get to hear all about it Sunday morning. We chatted a bit about the dance before I said goodbye.

Charlie was absentminded at dinner, worried over something at work, I guessed, or maybe a basketball game, or maybe he was just really enjoying the lasagna—it was hard to tell with Charlie.

"You know, Dad…," I began, breaking into his reverie.

"What's that, Bella?"

"I think you're right about Seattle. I think I'll wait until Jeremy or someone else can go with me."

"Oh," he said, surprised. "Oh, okay. So, do you want me to stay home?"

"No, Dad, don't change your plans. I've got a million things to do… homework, laundry… I need to go to the library and maybe the grocery store. I'll probably be in and out all day… you go and have fun."

"Are you sure?"

"Absolutely, Dad. Besides, the freezer is getting dangerously low on fish—we're down to a two, maybe three years' supply."

"You're sure easy to live with, Bella." He smiled.

"I could say the same thing about you," I said, laughing. The sound of my laughter was off, but he didn't seem to notice. I felt so guilty for lying to him that I almost took Edyth's advice and told him where I would be. Almost.

After dinner, I folded clothes and moved another load through the dryer. Unfortunately it was the kind of job that only keeps hands busy. My mind definitely had too much free time, and it was getting out of control. I fluctuated between anticipation so intense that it was very nearly painful, and that deep-rooted fear that picked at my resolve. I had to keep reminding myself that I'd already made a choice, and I wasn't going back on it. I pulled her note out of my pocket much more often than necessary to absorb the two small words she'd written. She wants me to be safe, I told myself again and again. I would just hold on to the faith that, in the end, that desire would win out over the others. Besides, what was my other choice—to cut her out of my life? I cared so much about her that the very thought seemed intolerable. The choices were made, and I wanted to see this through.

But a tiny voice in the back of my mind worried, wondering if it would hurt very much… if it ended badly. It probably would—and I wouldn't be the only one to get hurt.

I was relieved when it was late enough to be acceptable for bedtime. I knew I was far too anxious to sleep and tomorrow would be complicated enough without me being loopy from sleep deprivation on top of everything else. I decided to take some cold medicine—the kind that knocked me out for a good eight hours. While I waited for the drugs to kick in I fussed over what I would wear tomorrow.

With everything ready for the morning, I finally lay in bed. I felt hyper; I couldn't stop twitching. I got up and rifled through my shoebox of CDs until I found a collection of Chopin's nocturnes. I put that on very quietly and then lay down again, concentrating on relaxing individual parts of my body. Somewhere in the middle of that exercise, the cold pills took effect, and I gladly sank into unconsciousness.

I woke early, having slept soundly and dreamlessly thanks to the drugs. Though I was well rested I slipped right back into the same hectic frenzy from the night before. I dressed in a rush, smoothing my collar against my neck, fidgeting with the tan sweater till it hung right over my jeans. I sneaked a swift look out the window to see that Charlie was already gone. A thin, cottony later of clouds veiled the sky. They didn't look very lasting.

I ate breakfast without tasting the food, hurrying to clean up when I was done. I peeked out the window again, but nothing had changed. I had just finished brushing my teeth and was heading back downstairs when a quiet knock sent my heart thudding against my rib cage.

I practically flew to the door; I had a little trouble with the simple deadbolt, but I yanked the door open at last, and there she was. All the anxiety dissolved as soon as I looked at her face, calm taking its place. I breathed a sigh of relief—yesterday's fears seemed very foolish with her here.

She wasn't smiling at first—her face was somber. But then her expression lightened as she looked me over, and she laughed.

"Good morning," she chuckled.

"What's wrong?" I glanced down to make sure I hadn't forgotten anything important, like shoes, or pants.

"We match." She laughed again. I realized she had a long, light tan sweater on, with a white collar showing underneath, and jeans. I laughed with her, hiding a secret twinge of regret—why did she have to look like a runway model when I couldn't?

I locked the door behind me while she walked to the truck. She waited by the passenger door with a martyred expression that was easy to understand.

"We made a deal," I reminded her smugly, climbing into the driver's seat, and reaching over to unlock her door.

"Where to?" I asked.

"Put your seat belt on—I'm nervous already."

I gave her a dirty look as I complied.

"Where to?" I repeated with a sigh.

"Take the one-oh-one north," she said.

It was surprisingly difficult to concentrate on the road while feeling her gaze on my face. I compensated by driving more carefully than usual through the still-sleeping town.

"Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?"

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather—have some respect," I retorted.

We were soon out of the town limits, despite her negativity. Thick underbrush and green-swathed trunks replaced the lawns and houses.

"Turn right on the one-ten," she instructed just as I was about to ask. I obeyed silently.

"Now we drive until the pavement ends."

I could hear a smile in her voice, but I was too afraid of driving off the road and proving her right to look over and be sure.

"And what's there, at the pavement's end?" I wondered.

"A trail."

"We're hiking?" Thank goodness I'd worn tennis shoes.

"Is that a problem?" She sounded as if she'd expected as much.

"No." I tried to sound as confident as possible. But if she thought my truck was slow…

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry."

"Oh, only five miles." I barely managed to keep my voice cracking in panic. Five miles of treacherous roots and loose stones, trying to twist my ankles or otherwise incapacitate me. I had been doing so well at making sure I didn't give Edyth anything to tease me. This was going to be humiliating.

We drove in silence for a while as I contemplated the coming horror.

"What are you thinking?" she asked impatiently after a few moments.

I lied, "just wondering where we're going."

"It's a place I like to go when the weather is nice." We both glanced out the windows at the thinning clouds after she spoke.

"Charlie said it would be warm today."

"And did you tell Charlie what you were up to?" she asked.

"Nope."

"But Jeremy thinks we're going to Seattle together?" She seemed cheered by the idea.

"No, I told him you canceled on me—which is true."

"No one knows you're with me?" Angrily, now.

"That depends… I assume you told Alice?"

"That's very helpful, Bella," she snapped.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." I said, severely.

"Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" she demanded.

"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly," I reminded her.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me—if you don't come home?" Her voice was still angry, and bitingly sarcastic.

"I'm worried about your family, too. If this ends badly it hurts everyone. Your family, my family, my friends."

She muttered something under her breath, speaking so quickly that I couldn't understand.

"But I'm choosing to trust you, Edyth." I said finally.

We were silent for the rest of the drive. I could feel the waves of infuriated disapproval rolling off of her, and I didn't feel like dealing with it.

And then the road ended, constricting to a thin foot trail with a small wooden marker. I parked on the narrow shoulder and stepped out, I was annoyed by her angry mood marring what was supposed to be a big day for us, so I didn't look at her. It was warm now, warmer than it had been in Forks since the day I'd arrived, almost muggy under the clouds. I pulled off my sweater and knotted it around my waist, glad I had worn the light, button-up shirt—especially if I had five miles of hiking ahead of me.

I heard her door slam, and looked over to see that she'd removed her sweater, too. She was facing away from me, into the unbroken forest behind my truck.

"This way," she said, glancing over her shoulder at me, eyes still annoyed. She started into the dark forest.

"The trail?" Panic was clear in my voice as I hurried around the truck to catch up to her.

"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it."

"No trail?" I asked desperately.

"I won't let you get lost." She turned then, with an amused smile, and I felt my breath catch in my chest. The sleeves of her white shirt were short, and rolled all the way up to her shoulders, and she wore it completely unbuttoned,at the top so that the smooth white skin of her throat flowed. out in the breez, her perfect neckline no longer merely hinted at behind concealing clothes. She was too perfect, and I felt butterflies in my stomach as I gaped at her. There was no way this godesslike creature could be here with me.

She stared at me, bewildered by my expression.

"Do you want to go home?" she said quietly, with pain saturating her voice.

"No." I walked forward till I was close beside her, anxious not to waste another second of whatever time I had with her today.

"What's wrong?" she asked, her voice gentle.

"I'm not a good hiker," I answered dully. "You'll have to be very patient."

"I can be patient—if I make a great effort." She smiled, holding my glance, trying to lift the mood. "I'm sorry for my behavior in the truck." She said softly.

I smiled back, but my smile was wrought with anxiety. She scrutinized my face.

"I'll take you home," she promised. I couldn't tell if the promise was unconditional, or restricted to an immediate departure. I knew she thought it was just fear that upset me, and I was grateful again that I was the only person whose mind she couldn't hear. The sight of her neckline was driving me crazy, filling me with butterflies and anxiety. I didn't want her to think I was objectifying her, but I had never seen someone who looked like that in person—just in magazines.

"If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way," I sighed, hoping the hike would distract me. She frowned at me, struggling to understand my tone and expression.

She gave up after a moment and led the way into the forest.

It wasn't as hard as I had feared. The way was mostly flat, and she held the damp ferns and webs of moss aside for me. When her straight path took us over fallen trees or boulders, she would help me, lifting me by the elbow, and then releasing me instantly when I was clear. Her cold touch on my skin never failed to make my pulse quicken, especially with her neckline in view, I was a mess. I caught a look on her face that made me sure she could somehow hear my heart.

I tried to keep my eyes away from her perfection as much as possible, but I slipped often. Each time, her beauty sent my heart pounding and the butterflies stirring.

For the most part, we walked in silence. Occasionally she would ask a random question that she hadn't gotten to in the past two days of interrogation. She asked about my birthdays, my grade school teachers, my childhood pets—and I had to admit that after killing three fish in a row, I'd given up on the whole idea. She laughed at that, louder than I was used to—bell-like echoes bouncing back to us from the empty woods.

The hike took me most of the morning, but she never showed any sign of impatience. The forest spread out around us in a boundless labyrinth of ancient trees, and I began to feel like we would never find our way out again. She was perfectly at ease, comfortable in the green maze, never seeming to feel any doubt about our direction.

After several hours, the light that filtered through the canopy transformed, the murky olive tone shifting to a brighter jade. The day had turned sunny, just as she'd foretold. For the first time since we'd entered the woods, I felt a thrill of excitement—which quickly turned to impatience.

"Are we there yet?" I teased, pretending to scowl.

"Nearly." She smiled at the change in my mood. "Do you see the brightness ahead?"

I peered into the thick forest. "Um, should I?"

She smirked. "Maybe it's a bit soon foryoureyes."

"Time to visit the optometrist," I muttered. Her smirk grew more pronounced.

But then, after another hundred yards, I could definitely see a light in the trees ahead, a glow that was yellow instead of green. I picked up the pace, my eagerness growing with every step. She let me lead now, following noiselessly.

I reached the edge of the pool of light and stepped through the last fringe of ferns into the loveliest place I had ever seen. The meadow was small, perfectly round, and filled with wildflowers—violet, yellow, and soft white. Somewhere nearby, I could hear the bubbling music of a stream. The sun was directly overhead, filling the circle with a haze of buttery sunshine. I walked slowly, awestruck, through the soft grass, swaying flowers, and warm, gilded air. I halfway turned, wanting to share this with her, but she wasn't behind me where I thought she'd be. I spun around, searching for her with sudden alarm.

Finally I spotted her, still under the dense shade of the canopy at the edge of the hollow, watching me with cautious eyes. Only then did I remember what the beauty of the meadow had driven from my mind—the enigma of Edyth and the sun, which she'd promised to illustrate for me today.

I took a step back toward her, my eyes alight with curiosity. Her eyes were wary, reluctant. I smiled encouragingly and beckoned to her with my hand, taking another step back to her. She held up a hand in warning, and I hesitated, rocking back onto my heels.

Edyth slowly removed her over shirt and let it drop to the forest floor. She seemed to take a deep breath, and then she stepped out into the bright glow of the midday sun


	25. balancing Edyth pov

I was still tense when I climbed into Bella's window that night. Carlisle had assured me that the Quileautes would do nothing to upset the treaty and that I shouldn't worry. But I couldn't help myself. Technically speaking, Bella already knew of the treaty, so it wouldn't entirely be breaking the rules for the granddaughter of Ephraim Black to say anything to her. I was grateful Charlie had been only seconds from arriving home when I had left, that would hopefully have kept any conversations to a general topic.

Bella slept soundly tonight, but she didn't speak. Her sleep was dreamless. I watched her and further formulated my plans for Saturday. As accustomed to her scent as I was becoming, it was still difficult. Especially here, in her room, where it clung to every surface. I would need to prepare for Saturday. I could only be so strong, after all. A hunting trip tomorrow would be necessary, to make sure I was fully prepared.

I soaked in every moment of the evening. Bella's face, so peaceful, was the most beautiful thing I had ever seen. She was the most beautiful thing in this world. Alice's visions would not come true. Saturday would not end in sorrow. I wasn't sure if they would end happily either, but it would be a turning point for Bella and me. There were so few secrets between us now, it was time to rip back the curtain and lay everything bare.

When I got home that morning, Alice was waiting on the steps of the porch.

"What time are we leaving?" She asked me, smiling.

"We?" I raised an eyebrow.

"I thought you would like some company on your hunt." She shrugged.

I had to appreciate Alice for her support.

"After lunch," I replied. "We can take my car."

"Will I be picking up Bella's truck or will you?"

I laughed. "I'll do it."

She smiled and went inside. I was being selfish today, and she had already seen it. I still wanted my time with Bella, so I would still pick her up for school, even though I was leaving.

I drove with the windows rolled down, clearing my head of Bella's scent completely with the cool morning air. I wanted to test myself this morning. When I arrived at Bella's house, I waited, anxiously in the car.

She hurried out of the house and into the passenger seat, almost giddy. I grinned at her excitement, and her heart beat erratically in response. Her scent hit me hard, as I expected. Intoxicating and desirable, and yet, somehow, I was able to withstand it better than I had before. I was immensely pleased with myself.

"How did you sleep?" I asked, though I already knew the answer.

"Fine, thanks. How was your night?" She smiled up at me.

"Pleasant." If only she knew…

"Can I ask what you did?"

I watched you sleep, because you're absolutely beautiful when you sleep."No. Today is still mine."

As we drove to school I asked her about her mother; her name was Renée, she seemed to be a flighty person, flitting from one hobby to the next. I asked about her family, her Grandmother was named Marie, which was Bella's middle name. The rest of the morning progressed much the same. She told me about the friends she had left behind in Phoenix, and then she flushed with embarrassment when I asked her about previous girls she had dated.

"What's the matter?"

"It's nothing… I just…" She paused, and shifted uncomfortably. "I've never dated anyone."

"No one?" I asked, shocked. She was so eagerly pursued here in Forks, surely she had been similarly pursued in Phoenix. Certainly, she would have had more options to choose from.

"Nope, no one." She shrugged.

"So you never met anyone you wanted?" Was I the first? Truly? She had been the first person to catch my interest, could I be the first to catch hers? Surely she had at least desired someone, if not dated them.

"Well, that's really a different question, isn't it?" She teased. I felt a flare of jealousy at the very idea of her desiring anyone else. She sighed. "Not in Phoenix."

There was a relief for me in that, but it troubled me. She had never had another relationship before, and she had chosen me? A monster? That hardly seemed right.

My time with her was almost up. We were in the cafeteria now. She took a bite out of the bagel she was holding. I felt a surge of guilt and frustration with having to leave her.

"I should have let you drive yourself today," I said.

"Why?" She cocked her head to the side.

"I'm leaving with Alice after lunch." The guilt raged inside of me.

"Oh." She blinked a few times, seeming disappointed. That pleased me, at least. "That's okay, it's not that far of a walk."

Walk? Absurd. "I'm not going to make you walk home just because I was selfish today."

"How were you selfish?"

I might as well be honest with her. Honesty was becoming the theme of this week. "I knew I was leaving after lunch, and I still wanted to spend as much time with you this morning as I could. I should have let you drive myself." I looked down at her and grinned. "But I'm a horrifically selfish creature and I enjoy your presence too much." All understatements, but honest just the same.

"It's really okay, I don't mind walking." She said, blushing.

"I already told you, I'm not going to make you walk. We'll go get your truck and leave it here for you."

"I don't have my key with me," she sighed.

I remembered the last time she had driven her truck, and mused that her keys were either hanging somewhere in the house or in the pocket of the jeans she had been wearing that day. I remembered which pair it was, easily. "Your truck will be here, and the key will be in the ignition—" and then I laughed as a thought came to me. "Unless you're afraid someone might steal it."

"Hey, respect the truck." She pursed her lips, and looked thoughtful. She didn't think I'd be able to get her truck back to the school before she was done. I smirked, rising to her challenge.

"So where are you going?" She asked, always asking the wrong questions—the ones I didn't want to answer. But I was being honest this week.

"Hunting. if I'm going to be alone with you tomorrow, I'm going to take whatever precautions I can." I decided to give her another chance to back out, though the very thought pained me beyond anything, a part of me hoped. "You can always cancel, you know."

She looked down, avoiding my eyes. "Nope," she whispered, stealing a glance back at me. "I can't."

Of all the answers she could have given me, this was possibly the worst. There was always a choice, no matter what. But there was a grain of truth in her statement, I knew. Because I felt the same way. I couldn't stay away from her any more than she could stay away from me. "Perhaps you're right."

"What time will I see you tomorrow?" She asked suddenly, her voice filled with excitement.

"That depends… It's a Saturday, don't you want to sleep in?" Humans liked sleeping in on Saturdays, didn't they?

"No," she said quickly, and then sighed. "Honestly, I'd like as much time with you outside of school as I can get."

I tried to restrain my smile, I shouldn't encourage this kind of behavior—it wasn't safe for her. "The same time as usual, then. Will Charlie be there?" I wondered when it would be appropriate for me to meet her father.

"No, he's fishing tomorrow." She replied, clearly pleased with this fact.

That was bad. "And if you don't come home, what will he think?" Could she hear the warning of danger in my voice? Would she care? Probably not, knowing her.

"I have no idea," her voice was casual. "He knows I've been meaning to do the laundry. Maybe he'll think I fell in the washer."

I scowled at her casual answer and she scowled back, teasing me.

"What are you hunting tonight?" she asked after a moment.

How easily she asked the question, like I was going out to get food at a restaurant. "Whatever we find in the park. We aren't going far."

"Why are you going with Alice?"

"Alice is the most…" Exuberant, excited, "Supportive." I frowned.

"And the others? What are they?" Her, voice was nervous.

I didn't want to lie to her, but I didn't want to tell her about Royal's anger. Carlisle and Esme seemed pleased, but my siblings were a different story. I decided to be diplomatic. "Incredulous," I said, "for the most part." I added, thinking of Royal, specifically.

Then she turned her head and glanced at my family at their usual table, then back at me, her face morose. "They don't like me."

"That's not it," I argued, not wanting her to think that about herself. "They don't understand why I can't leave you alone."

She sighed. "Neither do I, for that matter."

I knew she didn't mean it like she was annoyed, simply that she failed to understand my love for her. It frustrated me beyond measure. "I told you—" I said, rolling my eyes to the ceiling, "You don't see yourself clearly at all. You're not like anyone I've ever known. You fascinate me." Another understatement.

Bella narrowed her eyes at me, questioning my answer.

I was pleased that I could read her expressions better and better every day. "Having the advantages I do, I have a better than average grasp of human nature." I tapped my forehead, gently. "People are predictable. But you… You never do what I expect. You always take me by surprise."

She blushed and looked away from me. Her eyes wandering behind her, again.

"That part is easy enough to explain," I continued, watching her. "But there's more… and it's not so easy to put into words—"

How could I explain my love for her? How could I put that into words? There were none that explained the depth of my feelings for her.

As I spoke, Royal turned his head in our direction. He heard what I was saying and his annoyance was rising steadily, but instead of meeting my eyes, he found Bella's.

I could see Bella's face in Royal's mind. The wide, confused blue eyes tinged with fear. Royal's mind was venomous toward Bella, and Bella was powerless to look away from Royal's furious glare. I snarled under my breath, just loud enough for Royal to hear and he quickly turned his head away. Bella's eyes snapped back to mine, still wide.

"I'm sorry about that. He's just worried. You see…" I paused for a moment, choosing my words carefully. "It's dangerous for more than just me if, after spending so much time with you so publicly…" I couldn't say the words, I dropped my eyes like a coward.

"If?" she prompted.

"If this ends… badly." How despicable I was to put her in this danger, to put my family in this danger. I was fighting to be strong, but what if I failed? I was far from perfect. I didn't have the perfect control that Carlisle did. I dropped my head into my hands, ashamed of myself.

After a moment, she spoke again. "And you have to leave now?"

"Yes." I looked up at her, wishing I didn't have to. Her expression was so disappointed that I couldn't help but smile—she was sad that I had to leave and while I didn't want her to be sad, it made me glad that she cared so strongly for me. "It's probably for the best." I made my voice lighter. "We still have fifteen minutes of that wretched movie left to endure in Biology—I don't think I could handle any more." Nor did I think I could resist that electricity between us another day, at least not without the fortification of a hunting trip.

She looked thoughtful for a moment, then jumped in surprise when Alice was suddenly by her side.

"Alice." I greeted her without looking away from her surprised face.

"Edyth." so do I get to meet her now? I'll behave, I promise!

I smiled at Alice's enthusiasm. "Alice, Bella—Bella, Alice," I said, gesturing casually.

It's about time!"Hello, Bella." She smiled at her, "It's nice to finally meet you."No thanks to you, Edyth.

I glared at her, I was sure Bella didn't hear the subtle emphasis she put on the word finally—it was only for my benefit.

"Hi, Alice." Bella's answering smile was shy and utterly adorable.

"Are you ready?" Alice turned back to me.

"Nearly. I'll meet you at the car."

She's so cute!Alice thought as she walked away.

"Should I say 'have fun,' or is that the wrong sentiment?" Bella asked, turning back to me.

"No, 'have fun' works as well as anything."

"Have fun, then." She said, the disappointment still evident in her voice.

"I'll try." I was grinning at her tone. "And you try to stay safe, please."

"Safe in Forks—what a challenge." She deadpanned.

"For you it is a challenge." I said solemnly. "Promise."

"I promise to try to be safe," she recited like a child repeating a rule. "I'll do the laundry tonight—that ought to be fraught with peril."

"Don't fall in," I teased, remembering her words from earlier.

"I'll do my best, but I make no guarantees." She deadpanned, again.

I stood to leave, and she followed suit.

"I'll see you tomorrow," she sighed.

I'll see you sooner."It seems like a long time to you, doesn't it?"

She nodded, sadly.

"I'll be there in the morning." I promised with my most reassuring smile. I readied myself, controlling my movements, and reached across the table to lightly brush my finger along her cheekbone. Reveling in the burning sting of her skin. Bella's heartbeat become slightly louder. Pleased with myself, I turned and walked out of the cafeteria. Already counting the seconds until I would see her again.

Alice was waiting at the car for me. I climbed in and started the engine. She turned to me, her eyes exuberant.

"Did I behave myself well enough for you?"

I laughed. "Fine, except for your dig at me."

"That's your own fault for making me wait so long!" She retorted.

"And since when did you lack patience?" I rolled my eyes.

She stuck her little tongue out at me and I laughed again.

We reached Bella's house and I left the car running as I climbed out.

"You'll find them in the laundry room in a pair of jeans," Alice called. "At least that's where I saw you finding them."

I was right then, I knew which pair to look for.

Scaling the side of the house, I slipped in through Bella's window and looked for the laundry room. Finding it, I retrieved the keys quickly, dreading having to drive it back to the school given its monstrous speed limitations.

I went back to Bella's room to leave, pausing for a moment to inhale her exquisite scent one last time. A stack of blank paper sticking out of a partially open drawer in her desk caught my eye. I crossed the room and took a sheet and a pen from the same drawer, writing the words "be safe," on the page. I folded it in half and put it in my pocket. I would leave a note for her, something to think of me, to show my concern for her well-being. These were all things a normal, human girlfriend would do, right?

The drive back to the school was a grueling as I had imagined it would be. Moving at a glacial pace, I found myself regretting my promise to let Bella drive tomorrow. I could hear Alice's frustrated thoughts in my car behind me. I left her truck parked in the spot previously occupied by my car with the key in the ignition and placed the note on the drivers seat for her to find. If only a note could make her actually safe.

The hunt was largely uneventful. At first, only a few small game, though I lucked out and found a particularly aggressive mountain lion. Alice followed my lead, knowing it was more important that I hunted as much as possible. She spent the time flipping through various visions, directing us to our prey now and then.

"Alice?" I finally asked as we were finishing up for the night.

"You won't hurt her tomorrow," Alice said with confidence. "It will be difficult, but you'll do just fine."

"Just because you say it doesn't make it true, Alice, you can't hide your other visions from me, of all people." And it was true, her visions were more solid, less ephemeral, but tomorrow was still undecided. The course I was on, at this exact moment, was promising but things could change suddenly. In the blink of an eye, or between one precious heartbeat and the next, the constant reminders to me that Bella was more fragile than anything else in my world.

Feeling satisfied, if not overly full, from the hunt, it was time to head back. I was already eager to see Bella again. It was an aching need, different from the thirst. A need deep in my core; an altogether human need. I embraced it, reckless as it was, because it felt so human. Human was good. Human would keep Bella alive.

When I climbed into her bedroom window that night, the sound of Chopin'sNocturne in Db Majorwas playing softly from the old CD player near her bed, an open shoebox full of CDs on the floor. She was exceptionally still tonight as she slept, one arm across her chest, the other sprawled out above her. Her lips slightly parted, her brown hair wild and curly, framing her pale face.

Even though I knew every detail of her, even though I could perfectly recall the image of her with ease, I recommitted it all to memory, knowing tomorrow could change everything. Tomorrow could make or destroy everything I was holding onto so carefully—everything we were holding on to so desperately. But I would not run away from Bella any longer, not as long as she wanted me. She would feel as if I were running away again.

The morning came all too quickly. I felt the anxiety rising in me as I ran home to change for the day. Would she still want me after today? If I presented her with more evidence of my inhuman nature? She had taken everything in stride so far—I had no reason to believe anything would scare her away at this point. Still, the fear was still present in the back of my mind, warring fiercely with the hope that she would run; that it would finally be a step too far. For her own good, I could let her run, couldn't I? That was the right thing to do, after all…

Alice was sitting on the stairs as I left my room, her eyes closed and her head gently rocking from side to side.

When I reached the stairs, her eyes slowly opened, seeing nothing at first, then focusing.

Good luck thought, her thoughts swirling around her ever-altering visions.

"Thanks," I muttered.

I see more good than bad… that's something, at least, right?

"Right." I nodded, heading down the stairs and breaking into a run as soon as I was clear of the front door.

Charlie was already gone when I got to Bella's house. I took a deep breath as I crossed the lawn to the front door. All the possibilities of the day were raging in my mind. The deeper implications of what today would mean resounding in every thought.

I knocked on the door. Ha, how human I had become.

The deadbolt rattled on the other side of the door for a moment before it swung open. There she stood, slightly breathless and momentarily anxious. Her eyes locked on mine and she breathed out a deep breath, a wide smile on her face. I looked her over, overwhelmed with the reality of how serious today was—how the potential for deadliness hung over her head… but I couldn't dwell on those thoughts for long, and looking at her, I couldn't help but laugh.

"Good morning," I chuckled.

"What's wrong?" She glanced down at herself, perplexed.

"We match." I couldn't stop myself from laughing again. We did match. She also wore a light beige sweater over a white button up shirt, and jeans. She looked over my own clothes and then laughed herself.

She stepped out the house and turned to lock the door. I walked to her decrepit truck and waited at the passenger door, my disdain and disappointment evident on my face.

"We made a deal!" Her face was smug as she climbed into the driver's seat and reached over to unlock my door. I heaved a sigh and climbed into the cab of the truck.

"Where to?"

"Put your seat belt on," I teased, "I'm nervous already."

She threw an unhappy look at me while buckling her seatbelt.

"Where to?" She huffed.

"Take the one-oh-one north."

We crawled along the highway and a glacial pace. We would have made better time if I had gotten out and pushed the truck to our destination. She seemed to be having trouble concentrating on her driving, I watched her face with concern. Was she tired? She seemed to have slept soundly the night before. Perhaps she was nervous about today? Second thoughts, maybe… I couldn't be sure.

We'd barely made any noticeable progress. "Were you planning to make it out of Forks before nightfall?"

"This truck is old enough to be your car's grandfather," she said sharply, "have some respect."

We finally made it out of the town limits. The lawns and houses giving away to thick underbrush and moss-covered trees. She opened her mouth to ask for further directions, but I was one step ahead.

"Turn right on the one-ten."

She did as I instructed in silence.

"Now we drive until the pavement ends." I said, smiling at her suddenly nervous expression.

"And what's there, at the pavement's end?" she wondered, anxiety evident in her voice.

"A trail."

"We're hiking?" her voice hitched up slightly.

She wasn't especially coordinated, I expected hiking to be something she'd dislike. I was pleased to know I was correct. "Is that a problem?"

"No." she lied, poorly.

"Don't worry, it's only five miles or so, and we're in no hurry." It's true, I was in no hurry for her to see what a freak I truly was. I'd rather enjoy every second before that, stretch them out for as long as I possibly could. While things were still—well, not quite fine, but whatever they were now.

"Oh, only five miles." She repeated, like it was so much more than it was.

Her face seemed terribly distracted. I tried to figure out the thoughts behind the expression, to no success.

"What are you thinking?" I finally asked.

"Just wondering where we're going." It was plausible, but something sounded off in the delivery.

"It's a place I go to when the weather is nice." We both glanced out the windows and the quickly retreating clouds.

"Charlie said it would be warm today." She mused, looking at the sky.

"And did you tell Charlie, what you were up to?"

"Nope." She said, completely unbothered.

Damn. I had hoped she would rethink not telling Charlie.

"But Jeremy thinks we're going to Seattle together?" I remembered she had told him as much, and was cheered by that small consolation.

"No, I told him you canceled on me—which is true." Again, completely at ease. Was she really so eager to put herself in danger? It was maddening. How could she just go with a vampire somewhere and not tell anyone?

"No one knows you're with me?" My frustration and despair colored my words with anger.

"That depends… I assume you told Alice?"

"That's very helpful, Bella," I snapped.

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that." Her tone was reproachful.

She was right to scold me, but I couldn't fathom how she could possibly let herself fall into the situation she was now in. It made no logical sense. "Are you so depressed by Forks that it's made you suicidal?" I demanded.

"You said it might cause trouble for you… us being together publicly." She used my previous words against me, saying it like it was the most logical reasoning in the world.

Always backwards, always the wrong instinct.

"So you're worried about the trouble it might cause me—if you don't come home?" My tone was sarcastic, I couldn't control my displeasure at the situation I had created. How idiotic of me to let this happen! What was I doing?

"I'm worried about your family, too." She said gently. "If this ends badly it hurts everyone. Your family, my family, my friends."

"Absolutely no sense of self-preservation." I muttered, probably speaking too quietly and quickly for her, to hear.

The silence in the cab hung heavy over us for the rest of the drive. This was wrong. I shouldn't have asked her to come here with me. No one knew where she was. She must have had some sort of death wish. There was no other explanation for her behavior. Certainly a lack of common sense.

The road ended all too quickly, bottlenecking into a thin foot trail. She parked the truck on the narrow shoulder and stepped out, closing her door with more force than necessary, not looking back at me. She was mad at me. I was only concerned for her safety, and she was mad at me! It was utterly perplexing.

I watched her stretch and look around. She fiddled with her sweater for a moment, before pausing and pulling it off, tying around her slender waist. It was warmer than usual today, after all. I pulled my sweater off, too. Not because of the warmth, but because I wouldn't need it… not for today's purpose.

I wondered if it wouldn't be better to wait here until the clouds cleared completely, to show her the truth before we got too deep into the woods. If I showed her what I looked like in sunlight here, now, she could jump back in her truck and get away. Run away from the freak, the monster. I quickly rolled the sleeves of my shirt up to my shoulders. No, I should let her truly see what a monster I was. I quickly unbuttoned the shirt before climbing out of the truck, slamming the door behind me.

I stared into the deep woods behind the truck for a moment. No. I wouldn't run away. I would take her where I intended to, and I would show her the truth of me, and she would survive it. I promised myself that. If I gave up now, what was the point of it all? But I shouldn't be mad at her. After all, I could have insisted she tell someone—I could have made her promise me. I was putting her in this danger, it should be no surprise that she ran into it headlong. It was my job to remove the danger in the first place.

"This way," I glanced at her over my shoulder.

"The trail?" She scrambled around the truck to meet me, panic clear in her voice.

"I said there was a trail at the end of the road, not that we were taking it."

"No trail?" The desperation in her voice was comical. Of all the things to be terrified of… A little bit of hiking? It was ridiculous, and yet it was exactly what I'd expect of her. This ridiculous, beautiful girl. Always surprising, always perplexing.

"I won't let you get lost." I turned to face her, thoroughly amused by her desperate panic.

Her breath caught, and she stared at me with wide eyes. What had I done wrong? The sun wasn't quite through the clouds yet, I hadn't made any sudden movements, I was smiling… I stare at her, bewildered.

Then I realized. Perhaps the reality, the danger of the situation had hit her. She was scared of me, of being alone—truly alone—with me.

"Do you want to go home?" The pain I felt was heavy in every word, despite my best attempts to beat it back. I could not fault her for wanting to escape me.

"No." She said, walking forward to my side. Her eyes locked on the forest.

"What's wrong?"

"I'm not a good hiker. You'll have to be very patient." Her expression seemed off as she looked at me.

"I can be patient—if I make a great effort." I smiled at her, suddenly feeling very foolish for my outburst in the truck. She had only been trying to protect me. Misguided as that thought was, it came from a caring place, and I had been angry with her for it. "I'm sorry for my behavior in the truck."

She smiled back, but there was still something off that I couldn't place despite my best efforts.

"I'll take you home," I vowed, to her and myself. I did not want her to be afraid. I did not want her to have to think about what might happen if something went wrong today. She should never feel that way around me. I should be strong enough to ensure that she always felt safe and protected.

Her cheeks suddenly began to flush slightly, and she locked her eyes back on the forest. "If you want me to hack five miles through the jungle before sundown, you'd better start leading the way," she sighed, rolling up the sleeves of her shirt and tightening the knot of her sweater around her waist.

I frowned, trying to understand her strange expressions and reactions to no avail before leading the way into the trees.

She kept pace better than I expected, I made sure to choose the safest path for her; the most even surface, the least amount of foliage. I kept everything I could out of her way, clearing an easier path for her. Occasionally, there was no way to avoid a fallen tree or boulder, but I would gently ease her over, my hand light on her elbow just until she was clear of the debris. Every time I touched her, it felt like electricity. I could hear her pulse spasm at each little touch, and I eyed her with confusion.

Actually, I noticed quite often that we would be walking, with no change to our speed or the terrain, and her heart would suddenly begin pounding against her chest for no apparent reason. How strange, I knew that wasn't normal. Perhaps she had some sort of heart condition she hadn't told me about? That didn't seem likely.

My nerves would start to get the best of me now and then, the closer we got. So I would ask her a question I hadn't thought of the previous two days. Simple questions; birthdays, old teachers—just something to keep her talking so I could hear her voice and take advantage of the soothing effect it seemed to have on me.

"Did you have any pets growing up?" I asked.

"Sort of…" She hesitated. "Gold fish."

"That counts. No others?"

"After I accidentally killed the third gold fish in a row, I kind of gave up on the whole idea of pets, in general." She dead-panned.

Her dry tone and dead delivery caught me off guard and I laughed, loudly. It felt good to laugh today.

We hiked for most of the morning, Bella kept a steady, if slow, pace. It was rather enjoyable watching her; the concentrated expression on her face, the overly cautious way she would navigate even the simplest terrain…

After several hours, the light filtering through the leaves began to shift, the bland olive tones shifting into shades of emerald and jade. The sun was out, in full force, and the moment that could change everything was nearly here.

"Are we there yet?" She asked suddenly, a teasing tone to her voice and a mock-scowl on her face.

"Nearly."So impatient, I smiled. "Do you see the brightness ahead?" I asked, glancing toward the break in the trees some two hundred yards ahead.

She squinted in the direction I had looked, her face disappointed. "Um, should I?"

Ah, so human. "Maybe it's a bit soon for your eyes."

"Time to visit the optometrist," she mumbled. So very, very human.

But after another hundred yards, her expression altered. She could see the change in the light, her face brightened with it. She began to walk faster now, eventually passing me and hurrying on ahead. I let her lead, not eager for what was to follow.

She reached the edge of the ferns and peered out into the bright, unforgiving daylight. A smile spread across her face as she stepped out into the clearing. Into my meadow.

She walked slowly, marveling at the wildflowers, the soft grass, the peaceful tranquility of this, my favorite place to hide away from the cares of the world. Here, in this meadow, I would come to escape everything. I didn't have to pretend to be anything here, I didn't have to drown out the voices of the world around me. I could just be myself here; separate and alone. It was my own private sanctuary, hidden from even my family. And I had brought Bella here. I wanted to share it with her. The last of my secrets, in a way. But there was one secret I hadn't shared with her yet, one important secret she did not know.

I watched her, peaceful, beautiful, and serene. She stretched her arms out, and tilted her head back, letting the sun cascade over her ivory skin. Then she turned halfway, looking behind her. Her serene expression vanished, and she spun around scanning the clearing with panicked eyes. She spotted me, hidden in the shadows of the trees at the meadow's edge.

I wanted to desperately to join her. To close the distance between us. But I was scared. The shadows were where I belonged, not in Bella's beautiful sunlit world. It was not for me. I could not dare to encroach upon it. And if I did, what would she think? Would she embrace this aspect of my inhumanity as she had all the others? Or would she be repulsed by me, as she should be? I was frozen, unable to move, watching her with wary eyes.

She took a step toward me, her blue eyes curious. Then she smiled, warm and encouraging. She beckoned me with her hand, like my place was there with her in the sun. Like I belonged in her world. She took another step toward me and I held up my hand to stop her. She hesitated, rocking back on her heels, her expression confused.

Suddenly I wasn't sure of anything anymore. Was I ever that sure to begin with? I didn't know if I could do this. I didn't know if I was strong enough. Would I be overcome by this and fail? Ruin the only truly good and perfect thing on this whole earth? I was too far—too deep into this—to run away now, I had to move forward. I imagined if I could see Alice's mind now, her visions would be unstable and shaky, uncertain and unpredictable. That shaky future was all I had now, so all I could do was step forward.

I slowly removed my shirt, dropping it to the forest floor. keeping my undershirt on I took a deep breath, I closed my eyes, and then I stepped out into the bright glow of the midday sun.


	26. confessions Bella pov

Eyes closed, Edyth stepped blindly into the light.

My heart jumped into my throat and I started sprinting toward her.

"Edyth!"

It was only when her eyes flashed open and I got close enough to begin to understand what I was seeing that I realized she hadn't caught on fire. She threw up her hand again, palm forward, and I stumbled to a stop.

The light blazed off her skin, danced in prism-like rainbows across her face and neck, down her arms, her shoulders. She was so bright that I had to squint, like I was trying to stare at the sun.

After the initial combustion of light, my eyes began adjusting. It still took a while to see past her incandescence to the expression on her face. She was watching me with wide eyes—it almost looked like she was afraid of something. I took a step toward her, and she cringed just slightly.

"Does that hurt you?" I whispered.

"No," she whispered back.

I took another step toward her, and she let her warning hand drop to her side. As she moved, the fire shimmered down her arm. Slowly I circled her, keeping my distance, just needing to absorb this, to see her from every angle. The sun played off her skin, refracting and magnifying with every color light could hold. My eyes continued adjusting, and they opened wide with wonder.

I finished my circle, then closed the last few feet between us. I couldn't stop staring, even to blink.

"Edyth," I breathed.

"Are you scared now?" she whispered.

"No."

She stared searchingly into my eyes, trying to hear what I was thinking.

I reached toward her, deliberately unhurried, watching her face for permission.

Her eyes opened wider, and she froze. Carefully, slowly, I let my fingertips graze the glistening skin on her shoulder. I was surprised to find it was just as cold as ever. While my fingers were touching her, the reflections of the fire flickered against my skin.

"What are you thinking?" she whispered.

I struggled to find words. "I am… I didn't know…" I took a deep breath, and the words finally came. "I've never seen anything more beautiful—it's like diamonds."

Her eyes were still wary. Like she thought I was saying what I thought she wanted to hear. But it was only the truth.

She started to lift her hand, then dropped it. The shimmer flared.

"It's very strange, though." She murmured.

"Amazing," I breathed.

"Aren't you repulsed by my flagrant lack of humanity?"

I shook my head. "Not repulsed."

Her eyes narrowed. "You should be."

I admired her beauty for what seemed like hours, but in reality was probably only about thirty minutes. Eventually, she slowly sat down on the grass, and then reclined back with one hand behind her head.

I slowly sat down next to her, admiring.

Edyth in the sunlight was truly shocking, though not in the way she had probably hoped it would shock me. I couldn't get used to it. Her white skin, slightly flushed from yesterday's hunting trip, continued to sparkle, like thousands of tiny diamonds were embedded in the surface. She lay perfectly still in the grass, as the light shone over her sculpted, incandescent neckline, her scintillating arms, and bare stomach. Her glistening, pale lavender lids were shut, though of course she didn't sleep. A perfect statue, carved in some unknown stone, smooth like marble, glittering like crystal.

Now and then, her lips would move, so fast it looked like they were trembling. But, when I asked, she told me she was singing to herself; it was too low for me to hear.

"It calms me." She said, simply.

I enjoyed the sunlight, though the air wasn't quite dry enough for my taste. I would have liked to lie back, as she had, and let the sun warm my face. But I stayed sitting, my chin resting on my knees, unwillingly to take my eyes off her. The wind was gentle; flowing through my air and ruffling the grass that swayed around her motionless form.

The meadow, so spectacular to me at first, paled next to her magnificence.

Hesitantly, always worried, even now, that she would disappear like a mirage, too beautiful to be real… hesitantly, I reached out one finger and stroked the back of her shimmering hand, where it lay within my reach. I marveled again at the perfect texture, satin smooth, cool as stone. When I looked up again, her eyes were open, watching me. Butterscotch today, lighter, warmer after hunting. Her quick smile turned up at the corners of her flawless lips.

"Are you sure I don't scare you?" she asked playfully, but I could hear the real curiosity in her soft voice.

"No more than usual."

She smiled wider; her teeth flashed in the sun.

I inched closer, stretched out my whole hand now to trace the contours of her forearm with my fingertips. I saw that my fingers trembled slightly, and I knew it wouldn't escape her notice.

"Do you mind?" I asked, for she had closed her eyes again.

"No," she said without opening her eyes. "You can't imagine how that feels." She sighed, contentedly.

I lightly trailed my hand over the perfect muscles of her arm, followed the faint pattern of bluish veins inside the crease of her elbow. With my other hand, I reached to turn her hand over. Realizing what I wished, she flipped her palm up in one of those blindingly fast, disconcerting movements of hers. It startled me; my fingers froze on her arm for a brief second.

"Sorry," she murmured. I looked up in time to see her golden eyes close again. "It's too easy to be myself with you."

I lifted her hand, turning it this way and that as I watched the sun glitter on her skin. I held it closer to my face, trying to see the hidden facets in her skin. My eyes had fully adjusted, and the light no longer looked like fire on her skin but a softer glistening—it fascinated me.

"Tell me what you're thinking," she whispered. I looked to see her eyes watching me, suddenly intent. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time."

"It's a hard life." Did I imagine the hint of regret in her tone? "But you didn't tell me."

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing I wasn't afraid."

"I don't want you to be afraid." Her voice was just a soft murmur. I heard what couldn't truthfully say, that I didn't need to be afraid, that there was nothing to fear.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant, though it's always in the back of my mind."

So quickly that I missed her movement, she was half sitting, propped up on her right arm, her left palm still in my hands. Her angel's face was only a few inches from mine. I might have—should have—flinched away from her unexpected closeness, but I was unable to move. Her golden eyes seemed to lock me in place.

"What are you afraid of, then?" she whispered intently.

But I couldn't answer. As I sat there, so close to her, I could smell her sweet, delicious scent. Her lack of shirt on her neck was short-circuiting something in my brain—my better judgement. Instinctively, unthinkingly, I leaned closer, my lips parting.

And she was gone, her hand ripped from mine. In the time it took my eyes to focus, she was twenty feet away, standing at the edge of the small meadow, in the shade of a huge fir tree. She stared at me, her eyes wide and dark in the shadows, her expression unreadable.

I could feel the shock on my face and my empty hands stung.

"I'm… sorry, Edyth." I whispered. I knew she could hear.

"Give me a moment," she called, just loud enough for my less sensitive ears. I sat very still.

After ten incredibly long seconds, she walked back, slowly for her. She stopped, still several feet away, and sank gracefully to the ground, crossing her legs. Her eyes never left mine. She took two deep breaths, and then smiled in apology.

"I am so very sorry." She hesitated. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?"

I nodded once, not quite able to smile at her joke. Adrenaline pulsed through my veins as the realization of danger slowly sank in. She could smell that from where she sat. Her smile turned mocking.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I? Everything about me invites you in—my voice, my face, even my smell. As if I need any of that!" Unexpectedly, she was on her feet, bounding away, instantly out of sight, only to appear beneath the same tree as before, having circled the meadow in half a second.

"As if you could outrun me," she laughed bitterly.

She reached up with one hand and, with a deafening crack, effortlessly ripped a two-foot-thick branch from the trunk of the spruce. She balanced it in that hand for a moment, and then threw it with blinding speed, shattering it against another huge tree, which shook and trembled at the blow.

And she was in front of me again, standing two feet away, still as a stone.

"As if you could fight me off," she said gently.

I sat without moving, more frightened of her than I had ever been. I'd never seen her so completely freed of that carefully cultivated façade. She'd never been less human… or more beautiful. Face ashen, eyes wide, I sat like a bird locked in the eyes of a snake.

Her lovely eyes seemed to glow with rash excitement. Then as, the seconds passed, they dimmed. Her expression slowly folded into a mask of ancient sadness.

"Don't be afraid," She murmured, her velvet voice unintentionally seductive. "I promise…" She hesitated. "I swear not to hurt you." She seemed more concerned with convincing herself than me.

"Please, don't be afraid of me," she whispered again as she stepped closer, with exaggerated slowness. She sat sinuously, with deliberately unhurried movements, till our faces were on the same level, just a foot apart.

"Please forgive me," she said formally. "I can control myself. You caught me off guard. But I'm on my best behavior now."

She waited, but I still couldn't speak.

"I'm not thirsty today, honestly." She winked.

At that I had to laugh, though the sound was shaky and breathless.

"Are you all right?" she asked tenderly, reaching out slowly, carefully, to place her marble hand back in mine.

I looked at her, smooth, cold hand, and then at her eyes. They were soft, repentant. I looked back at her hand, and then deliberately returned to tracing the lines in her hand with my fingertip. I looked up and smiled.

Her answering smile was dazzling.

"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?" she asked in the gentle cadences of an earlier century.

"I honestly can't remember."

She smiled, but her face was ashamed. "I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason."

"Oh, right."

"Well?"

I looked down at her hand and ran my finger aimlessly across her smooth, iridescent palm. The seconds ticked by.

"How easily frustrated I am," she sighed. I looked into her eyes, abruptly grasping that this was every bit as new to her as it was to me. As many years of unfathomable experience as she had, this was hard for her, too. I took courage from that thought.

"I was afraid… because of all the ways you could hurt me."

"Yes," she agreed slowly. "That is something to be afraid of, indeed."

"Not just physically." I said softly, "Though that is a pretty big deal. You could hurt me in ways I can't even begin to think about by breaking my heart. By leaving."

"I should have left a long time ago," she sighed. "I should leave now. But I don't know if i can."

"I don't want you to leave," I said earnestly, gazing into her eyes.

"Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should."

"I'm glad."

"Don't be!" She withdrew her hand, more gently this time; her voice was harsher than usual. Harsh for her, still more beautiful than any human voice. It was hard to keep up—her sudden mood changes left me always a step behind, dazed.

"It's not only your company I crave! Never forget that. Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else." She stopped and gazed unseeingly into the forest.

I thought for a moment.

"I never forget, but I don't think I understand exactly what you mean—by that last part anyway," I said.

She looked back at me and smiled, her mood shifting yet again.

"How do I explain?" she mused. "And without frightening you again… hmmmm." Without seeming to think about it, she placed her hand back in mind; I held it tightly in both mine. She looked at our hands.

"That's amazingly pleasant, the warmth." She sighed.

A moment passed as she assembled her thoughts.

"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors?" she began. "Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?"

I nodded.

"Sorry about the food analogy—I couldn't think of another way to explain."

I smiled. She smiled ruefully back.

"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if he were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac—and filled the room with its warm aroma—how do you think he would fare then?"

We sat silently, looking into each other's eyes—trying to read each other's thoughts.

She broke the silence first.

"Maybe that's not the right comparison. Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead."

"So what you're saying is, I'm your brand of heroin?" I teased, trying to lighten the mood.

She smiled swiftly, seeming to appreciate my effort. "Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."

"Does that happen often?" I asked.

She looked across the treetops, thinking through her response.

"I spoke to my brothers about it." She still stared into the distance.

"Royal didn't feel like participating," She chuckled. "To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor." She glanced swiftly at me, her expression apologetic.

"Sorry," she said.

"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can."

She took a deep breath and gazed at the sky again.

"So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as"—she hesitated, looking for the right word—"appealingas you are to me. Which makes me think not. Emmett has been on the wagon longer, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger than the other."

"And for you?"

"Never."

The word hung there for a moment in the warm breeze.

"What did Emmett do?" I asked to break the silence.

It was the wrong question to ask. Her face grew dark, her hand clenched into a fist inside mine. She looked away. I waited, but she wasn't going to answer.

"I guess I know," I finally said.

she lifted her eyes her expression was wistful, pleading.

"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?"

"What are you asking? My permission?" My voice was sharper than I'd intended. I tried to make my tone kinder—I could guess what her honesty must cost her. "I mean, is there no hope then?" I felt knots in my stomach from trying to calmly discuss my own death.

"No, no!" She was instantly contrite. "Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't…" She left the sentence hanging. Her eyes burned into mine. "It's different for us. Emmett… these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as… practiced, as careful, as he is now."

She fell silent and watched me intently as I thought it through.

"So if we'd met… oh, in a dark alley or something…" I trailed off.

"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of people and—" She stopped abruptly, looking away. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself." She paused, scowling at the trees.

She glanced at me grimly, both of us remembering. "You must have thought I was possessed."

"I thought you were a jerk. I couldn't understand why. How you could hate me so quickly…"

"To me, if was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin… I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lure you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow…."

She looked up then at my staggered expression as I tried to absorb her bitter memories. Her golden eyes scorched from under her lashes, hypnotic and deadly.

"You would have come," her voice was pained.

I tried to speak calmly. "Maybe."

She frowned down at my hands, releasing me from the force of her stare. "And then, as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there—in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other fail human there—so easily dealt with.

I shivered in the warm sun, seeing my memories anew through her eyes, only now grasping the danger. Poor Ms. Cope; I shivered again at how close she'd come to death.

"But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myself not to wait for you,not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home—I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong—and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving."

I stared in surprise.

"I traded cars with him—he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary…"

"By the next morning I was in Alaska." She sounded ashamed, as if admitting a great cowardice. "I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances… but I was homesick. I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong. Who were you, an insignificant little human"—she grinned suddenly—"to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back…." She stared off into space.

I remained silent.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it.

"It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jeremy's mind… his mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that. And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating." She frowned at the memory, and I couldn't help but smirk, slightly.

She continued, "I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager, actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting, I found myself caught up in your expression… and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again….

"Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes, Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment—because if I hadn't saved you, if your blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are. But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

She closed her eyes, lost in agonized confession. I listened, more eager than rational. Common sense told me I should be terrified. Instead, I was relieved to finally understand. I was filled with compassion for her suffering, while warily listening to her, craving to take my life.

I finally spoke, and my voice quiet. "In the hospital?"

Her eyes flashed up to mine. "I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power—you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you." We both flinched as that word slipped out. "But it had the opposite effect," she continued quickly. "I fought with Royal, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time… the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice." She grimaced when she said her name. I couldn't imagine why. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay." She shook her head indulgently.

"All that next day I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far away from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair… It hit me as hard as the very first day."

She met my eyes again, and they were surprisingly tender.

"And for all that," she continued, "I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here—with no witnesses and nothing to stop me—I were to hurt you."

I was human enough to have to ask. "Why?"

Isabella." She pronounced my full name carefully, then playfully ruffled my hair with her free hand. A shock ran through my body at her casual touch. "Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." She looked down, ashamed again. "The thought of you still, white, cold… to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses, to never hear you scold me again for my temper… It would be unendurable." She lifted her glorious, agonized eyes to mine. "You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

My head was spinning at the rapid change in direction our conversation had taken. From the cheerful topic of my impending demise, we were suddenly declaring ourselves. She waited, and even though I looked down to study our hands between us, I knew her golden eyes were on me.

"You already know how I feel," I finally said. "I'm here… which, basically means I would risk a whole lot just to be with you." I frowned. "I'm an idiot."

"You are an idiot," she agreed with a laugh. Our eyes met, and I laughed, too. We laughed together at the idiocy and sheer impossibility of the moment.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb…," she murmured. I blushed as I heard the word.

"What a stupid lamb," I sighed.

"What a sick, masochistic lion." She stared into the shadowy forest for a long moment, and I wondered where her thoughts had taken her.

"Why…?" I began, and then paused, not sure how to continue.

She looked at me and smiled; sunlight glinted off her face, her teeth.

"Yes?"

"Tell me why you ran from me before."

Her smile faded. "You know why."

"No, I mean exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you know? So, I better start learning what I shouldn't do. This, for example"—I stroked the back of her hand—"seems to be all right."

She smiled again. "You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault."

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you."

"Well…" She contemplated for a moment. "It was just how close you were. Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alien-ness… I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat." She stopped short, looking to see if she'd upset me.

"Okay, then," I said flippantly, trying to alleviate the suddenly tense atmosphere. I tucked my chin. "No throat exposure. Turtlenecks and scarves from now on."

It worked; she laughed. "No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else."

She raised her free hand and placed it gently on the side of my neck. I sat very still, the chill of her touch a natural warning—a warning telling me to be terrified. But there was no feeling of fear in me. There were, however,other feelings…

"You see," she said. "Perfectly fine."

My blood was racing, and I wished I could slow it, sensing that this must make everything so much more difficult—the thudding of my pulse in my veins. Surely she could hear it.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," she murmured. She gently freed her other hand. My hands fell to my lap. Softly she brushed my cheek, then held my face between her marble hands.

"Be very still," she whispered, as if I wasn't already frozen.

Slowly, never moving her eyes from mine, she leaned toward me. Then abruptly, but very gently, she rested her cold cheek against the hollow at the base of my throat. I was quite unable to move, even if I'd wanted to. I listened to the sound of her even breathing, watching the sun and wind play in her bronze hair, more human than any other part of her.

With deliberate slowness, her hands slid down the sides of my neck. I shivered, and I heard her catch her breath. But her hands didn't pause as they softly moved to my shoulders, then down to my waist, and then stopped.

Her face drifted to the side, her nose skimming across my collarbone. Her arms wrapped slowly around me, pulling me to her. She came to rest with the side of her face pressed tenderly against my chest.

Listening to my heart.

"Ah," she sighed.

I don't know how long we sat without moving. It could have been hours. Eventually the throb of my pulse quieted, but she didn't move or speak again as she held me. I knew at any moment it could be too much, and my life could end—so quickly that I might not even notice. And I couldn't make myself be afraid. I couldn't think of anything, except that she was sitting here, holding me against her, touching me.

And then, too soon, she released me.

Her eyes were peaceful.

"It won't be so hard again," she said with satisfaction.

"Was that very hard for you?"

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be. And you?"

"No, it wasn't bad… for me."

She smiled at my inflection. "You know what I mean."

I smiled.

"Here." she took my hand and placed it against her cheek. "Do you feel how warm it is?"

And it was almost warm, her usually icy skin. But I barely noticed; I was touching her face, something I'd been dying to do for so long now.

"Don't move," I whispered.

No one could be still like Edyth. she closed her eyes and became as immobile as stone, a carving under my hand.

I moved even more slowly than she had, careful not to make one unexpected move. I caressed her cheek, delicately stroke her eyelid, the purple shadow in the hollow under her eye. I traced the shape of her perfect nose, and then, so carefully, her flawless lips. Her lips parted under my hand, and I could feel her cool breath on my fingertips. I wanted to lean in, to inhale the scent of her. So I dropped my hand and leaned away, not wanting to push her too far.

She opened her eyes, and they were hungry. Not in a way to make me fear, but rather to tighten the muscles in the pit of my stomach and send an electric shiver through all my limbs. I felt my pulse quicken.

"I wish," she whispered, "I wish you could feel the… complexity… the confusion… I feel. That you could understand."

She raised her hand and carefully brushed it across my face.

"Tell me," I breathed, my hands dropping to her shoulders.

"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger—the thirst—that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though"—she half-smiled—"as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely.

"But…" Her fingers touched my lips lightly, quickening my pulse again. "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

"I may understand that better than you think."

"I'm not used to feeling so human. Is it always like this?"

"For me?" I paused. "No, never. Never before this."

She took my hands from her shoulders and held them between her. They felt so feeble in her iron strength.

"I don't know how to be close to you," she admitted. "I don't know if I can."

I leaned forward very slowly, cautioning her with my eyes. I placed my cheek against her chest. I could hear her breath, and nothing else.

"Right now… this is enough," I sighed, closing my eyes.

In a very human gesture, she put her arms around me and pressed her face against my hair.

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," I noted.

"I have human instincts—they may be buried deep, but they're there."

We sat like that for another immeasurable moment; I wondered if she could be as unwilling to move as I was. But I could see the light was fading, the shadows of the forest beginning to touch us, and I sighed.

"You have to go."

"I thought you couldn't read my mind."

"It's getting clearer." I could hear a smile in her voice.

She took my shoulders and I looked into her face.

"Can I show you something?" she asked, sudden excitement flaring in her eyes.

"Show me what?"

"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." She saw my expression. "Don't worry, you'll be very safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster. Her mouth twitched up into that crooked smile I loved so much.

"Will you turn into a bat?" I asked warily.

She laughed, louder than I'd ever heard. Faster than my eyes could see, she had retrieved her over shirt from the forest floor and slid it on, leaving it open.

"Come on, climb on my back."

I waited to see if she was kidding, but, apparently, she meant it. She smiled as she read my hesitation, and reached for me. My heart reacted; even though she couldn't hear my thoughts, my pulse always gave me away. She then proceeded to gently sling me onto her back, with very little effort on my part, besides, when in place, clamping my legs and arms so tightly around her that it would choke a normal person. It was like clinging to a stone.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," I warned.

"Hah!" She snorted. I could almost hear her eyes rolling. I'd never seen her in such high spirits before.

She startled me, suddenly grabbing my hand, pressing my palm to her face, and inhaling deeply.

"Easier all the time," she mused.

And then she was running.

If I'd ever feared death before in her presence, it was nothing compared to how I felt now.

She streaked through the dark, thick underbrush of the forest like a bullet, like a ghost. There was no sound, no evidence that her feet touched the earth. Her breathing never changed, never indicated any effort. But the trees flew by at deadly speeds, always missing us by inches.

I was too terrified to close my eyes, though the cool forest air whipped against my face and burned them. I felt as if I were stupidly sticking my head out the window of an airplane in flight. And, for the first time in my life, I felt the dizzy faintness of motion sickness.

Then it was over. We'd hiked for hours this morning to reach Edyth's meadow, and now, in a matter of minutes, we were back to the truck.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" Her voice was high, excited.

She stood motionless, waiting for me to climb down. I tried, but my muscles wouldn't respond. My arms and legs stayed locked around her while my head spun uncomfortably.

"Bella?" she asked, anxious now.

"I think I need to lie down," I gasped.

"Oh, sorry." She waited for me, but I still couldn't move.

"I think I need help," I admitted.

She laughed quietly, and gently unloosened my stranglehold on her neck. There was no resisting the iron strength of her hands. Then she pulled me around to face her, holding me in her arms. she held me for a moment, then carefully placed me on the springy ferns.

"How do you feel?" she asked, her voice concerned.

I couldn't be sure how I felt when my head was spinning so crazily. "Dizzy, I think."

"Can I help?" Her eyes were worried.

"Just, give me a minute." I breathed in and out slowly, keeping my head very still. "And hold on to me, please."

"I guess that wasn't my best idea," she sounded apologetic.

I tried to be positive, but my voice wavered. "No, it was very interesting."

"Hah! You're as white as a ghost—no, you're as white asme!"

"I probably should have closed my eyes."

"Remember that next time."

"Next time!" I laughed darkly.

She laughed, her mood still radiant.

"I suppose it was better than hiking." I closed my eyes, continuing to breath.

"Open your eyes, Bella," she said quietly.

And she was right there, her face so close to mine. Her inhuman beauty was something I'd never get used to.

"I was thinking, while I was running…" She paused.

"About not hitting the trees, I hope."

"No," she chuckled. "Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about."

"Lucky you," I muttered.

"No," she continued, "I was thinking there was something I wanted to try." And she took my face in her hands again.

I couldn't breathe.

She hesitated—not in the normal way, the human way.

Not the way a person might hesitate before kissing someone, to gauge their reaction, to see how it would be received. Perhaps the hesitation would be to prolong the moment, that ideal moment of anticipation, sometimes better than the kiss itself.

Edyth hesitated to test herself, to see if this was safe, to make sure she was still in control of her need.

And then her cold, marble lips pressed very softly against mine.

My head instantly cleared, the yearning, the electricity that had been steadily building for so long burst free. My blood boiled, my breath caught in my chest. My arms instantly wrapped around her neck, my fingers knotted in her hair, clutching her to me.

Her hands dropped from my face, to my waist. Then her arms were wrapped around me and crushed me to her. A soft whimper escaped from my lips, I heard her moan softly.

Suddenly I felt her turn to unresponsive stone beneath my lips, her hands gently, but with irresistible force, pushed me back. I took a deep breath and pulled myself from her. I opened my eyes and saw her wide-eyed expression.

"Oops," I breathed. "Too much?"

"That's an understatement."

Her eyes were wild, her jaw clenched in acute restraint, yet she didn't lapse from her perfect articulation. She held me very steadily. Our faces still just inches from each other.

"Should I…?" I tried to take a step back, to give her some room.

Her hands refused to let me move so much as an inch.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please." Her voice was soft, controlled.

I kept my eyes on hers, watched as the excitement in them became more controlled and gentle.

Then she smiled a surprisingly impish grin.

"There," she said, obviously pleased with herself.

"Tolerable?" I asked.

She laughed aloud. "I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know."

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry."

"No, no. What you did was… You were…" She closed her eyes for a moment, "You did nothing wrong." She smiled, blissfully.

She took a step back and released my waist, I wobbled slightly. My balance still off.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" How lighthearted, how human she seemed as she laughed now, her seraphic face untroubled. She was a different Edyth than the one I had known up to now. And I felt all the more enamored by her.

"Don't get a big head," I glared. "It was a good kiss though."

She smiled widely, utterly pleased.

"Maybe you should let me drive."

"Excuse me?" I protested.

"I can drive better than you on your best day," she teased. "You have much slower reflexes."

"I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

"Some trust, please, Bella."

My hand was in my pocket, curled tightly around the key. I pursed my lips, deliberated, then shook my head with a tight grin.

"Nope. Not a chance."

She raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

I started to step around her, heading for the driver's side. She might have let me pass if I hadn't wobbled slightly. She caught me around the waist from behind, and pulled me back into her. Holding me in her arms, and resting her face in my hair.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive. I'm not about let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk," she quoted with a chuckle. I spun around in her arms, I could smell that deliciously sweet fragrance coming off her chest.

"Drunk?" I objected.

"You're intoxicated by my very presence." She was grinning with that playful smirk again.

I rolled my eyes, "I warned you not to get too full of yourself." I sighed. It probably would be safer if she drove. I held the key high and dropped it, watching her hand flash like lightening to catch it soundlessly. "Take it easy—my truck is a senior citizen."

"Thank you," she smiled.

"So are you not affected at all?" I asked, irked. "By my presence?"

Her expression became soft, warm. She didn't answer at first; she simply bent her face to mine, and brushed her lips slowly along my jaw, from my ear to my chin, back and forth. I trembled.

"You have no idea." She growled the words playfully, I felt her hands on my waist and my whole body quivered. I felt her lips curl into a smile on my jaw.

"Regardless," she purred, "I have better reflexes."


	27. confessions Edyth pov

I waited at the edge of the meadow, still hiding under the shade of the tress. Bella walked slowly through the grass, eyes alight with wonder, and I couldn't help but smile right along with her. I wondered how long it would take her to notice I was no longer following her. She usually seemed all too aware of my presence.

I watched her, thrilled to see the place that had brought me so much joy was making her happy as well. I wanted desperately to join her, yet I couldn't bring myself to step out into the sunlight. I wanted her to truly take in all the beauty of my personal sanctuary before I forever changed by adding the image of myself to it.

Of course she would be frightened, I didn't doubt that for a moment. Secretly I'd wondered many times if the only reason Bella still didn't fear me was because I was so practiced at acting human around her. Aside from whatever fantasies her imagination had created, which in all honesty were probably nothing near the truth, she'd never seen me actually look like a vampire. Today I was going to show her something that would make me appear far from human, and she would be afraid. The side of me that wanted to protect her told me that was a good thing, but the side that had already grown too attached to our time together was terrified.

As if sensing where my thoughts had taken me, she turned to look for me. I was surprised that her expression was concerned, and feared for a moment that I had walked too far into the sun and inadvertently revealed the truth before I was ready. Then her eyes found mine and her face instantly softened. She took a step towards me and reached her hand out like she wanted me to take it and join her. As much as I wanted to hold her hand in mine, longed to feel that spark her touch always ignited, I refused to feel the rejection that would most certainly follow when she saw my skin in the light. I couldn't bare to feel her hand ripped away from mine when the repulsion set in, so I held it up, silently urging her to wait just a little longer.

I sighed and took in a deep breath of air I didn't need, and prepared for the moment I had both anticipated and dreaded. As I stepped out into the light I kept my eyes firmly locked with hers, determined to see her initial reaction, and also not wanting to see the reflexion off my skin. Yet I was unable to avoid seeing it reflect off of her own soft, perfect face, and I closed my eyes in frustration. Taking another unnecessary breath, I prepared for the worst. When I opened my eyes, would she still be standing with me or would she have turned and ran, praying I wouldn't follow her?

Reminding myself that a part of me wanted her to run, I forced my eyes open. And she was still standing in front of me, closer even than she was before though I couldn't understand how. Unable to make sense of her expression and as always wishing I could read her mind, I pleaded to her with my eyes.

Please tell me what you're thinking,they urged, and as if she had suddenly figured out how to read my mind, she reached out and took my hand and led me further into the meadow. Gently pulling me down with her, she crossed her legs and sat in the grass. Her eyes, warm and adoring and completely undeserved, never left mine.

Whatever it was that kept her from being afraid of me the way any other human would seemed to still be in tact, despite my inarguably inhuman appearance. Though all I wanted was to bask in the sun with her and revel in the awe of her acceptance of me, I reminded myself why I had brought her here. I'd vowed to myself to be completely honest, even if it meant the day ending with her wanting nothing to do with me. If she was determined to try to be with me, she needed to know everything, the complete truth, hiding nothing. There was so very much to say.

As difficult as it was for me to accept, Bella still seemed completely at ease around me. In fact she looked fascinated, watching me like she wanted to touch my ridiculous skin. Deciding that the best way to proceed with our day of truth was to just be myself, I laid down in the grass facing up to the sky and closed my eyes. I tried to believe I was capable of acting the way I normally would if this was any other sunny day in my hideaway. I could pretend she wasn't there staring at me. I could convince myself not to notice the way the breeze was mingling her scent with the wildflowers and making my sanctuary nearly unbearable.

Abruptly I opened my eyes, terrified that I had already let my thoughts take me to the darkest of places, and focused again on her and the way she was watching me. There was no fear there, though I couldn't understand how. There was only warmth and affection. I let me eyes close once more and starting singing softly under my breath, the way I always did when I needed to find peace.

I wasn't if she could see my lips move, though I was positive she couldn't hear me, but eventually she asked what I was doing. I told her simply that I was singing, but inside I wondered if she would ever know that although my voice was too soft for human ears, my heart was singing to her.

I didn't expect her to close her eyes or lay down next to me. Even with her apparent lack of fear, she couldn't possibly want to put herself in such a vulnerable position. Every now and then, I would peak at her through barely opened eyes, just to see if anything in her expression had changed. She still watched me with curious eyes, and the slightest hint of a smile playing at the corner of her mouth.

Just as I was about to chance another glimpse at her, I felt her finger brush against the back of my hand. My eyes flew open and I gazed wide eyed at her. Unconsciously, I felt myself grin, baffled by why she would want to touch me but thoroughly enjoying the sensation of her warm skin on mine.

Though I wasn't sure I was quite ready to hear the answer, I couldn't help asking the question I'd been holding in since I first stepped into the sunlight.

"I don't scare you?" I asked, still smiling yet fighting against the pain I knew would come if her answer was yes.

"No more than usual," she replied casually, and I smiled wider as I realized she was telling me the truth. She always told me the truth, absurd as it might be.

My smile must have encouraged her, because she scooted a fraction of an inch closer and let the rest of her fingertips run along my forearm. Her hand was shaking and I closed my eyes again, hoping the fear I'd been dreading wasn't finally starting to set in.

"Do you mind?" she asked timidly, and I had to stifle a laugh. Did I mind? Her touch was the greatest feeling I'd experienced in the whole of my existence.

"No," I answered, debating how much I should say. Then remembering my vow of honesty I added, "You can't imagine how that feels."

With a sigh, I let my body sink further into the grass as her hand continued to trace my arm. I could feel her moving toward the inside of my elbow so when she reached for my hand, I flipped it over, palm up. I must have moved too quickly because her fingers froze in place. I opened my eyes, desperate again to read her expression. She was startled, but there was still no trace of fear and I allowed my eyes to close once more.

"Sorry," I mumbled, wishing she could understand just how strange all this was for me. I'd never allowed myself to be anything less than human around her before, yet already it felt right and natural. "It's too easy to be myself with you."

She continued inspecting my hand, then out of nowhere I could feel her breath on my skin. I looked up to see my hand inches from her face. I was so close to her and in that moment the intensity of the desire I'd been working so hard to control was almost too much. I needed a distraction. Very quickly.

"Tell me what you're thinking," I said softly, not wanting to alarm her with the severity of my voice. "It's still so strange for me, not knowing."

"You know, the rest of us feel that way all the time," she said sarcastically. Internally I praised her for being able to lighten the moment when it was most crucial for her survival.

Though I was trying not to focus on it, the realization of the danger that had just passed hit me. I tried to keep my voice relaxed, though knowing Bella, she'd see right through me.

"It's a hard life," I said, wishing with everything in me that I had some semblance of a normal life to give to her. She didn't deserve the kind of life I had to offer, yet it was all I had to give. And undoubtedly I would give her everything I had.

The original reason for my question had all but vanished, but she still hadn't told me what she was thinking and now I was curious.

"But you didn't tell me," I reminded her gently, hoping she hadn't been trying to distract me because she didn't want to answer. I had to know.

"I was wishing I could know what you were thinking..." Her voice trailed off like she was waiting for me to tell her. Maybe it was selfish but I had already revealed so much of myself to her, and now it was my turn. I had asked first and I needed to hear the truth before anything else was said.

"And?" I said simply, unwilling to budge just this once.

"I was wishing that I could believe that you were real. And I was wishing that I wasn't afraid."

And there it was. I felt my breath catch as I took in her words. She was afraid. Of course she was afraid. She was just very, very good at hiding it from me.

"I don't want you to be afraid," I said hopelessly. Foolishly.

"Well, that's not exactly the fear I meant, though that's certainly something to think about."

Quickly and without thinking, I sat myself halfway up and leaned onto my arm, my other hand unfathomably still in her hand. Why had she not let go yet? She'd just told me she was afraid, yet she was still looking at me with those kind eyes, tender and not afraid at all.

As I put her expression together with her words, they took on new meaning and sang through my mind like a beautiful symphony.

Not exactly the fear I meant.

If she wasn't afraid for her safety, what else there was for her to be afraid of? My mind raced through every possibility until I remembered her conversation with Jeremy, the one she knew I was listening to. She'd been upset, concerned that she cared for me more than I did for her. And then she'd told me it bothered her that it seemed like sometimes I was trying to say goodbye. Was it possible that she was simply afraid of me leaving?

Although I knew it would only encourage the thirst that was already painfully ripping at my throat, I let my face move infinitesimally closer to hers, taking in all of her wonderful and perfect scent. If my guess was correct, I needed to know just how close she wanted to keep me. I had to hear her say it.

"What are you afraid of, then?" I whispered, slowly letting out the full breath I had taken.

Rather than answer me with the words I longed to hear, she inched her own face closer to mine. My throat burned and ached, the venom flowed under my tongue, and I felt my fist clench inside her fragile little hands. Without another thought I did the opposite of what the monster inside was begging me to do.

I fled.

I ran with immeasurable speed back to the shadows and stared at her, wondering how many more times her life would be in danger today. As I looked at the pain on her face, I knew my earlier assumption had been correct. She was afraid I was going to leave her, and in a moment of weakness I had just confirmed that fear.

"I'm...sorry... Edyth," I heard her whisper. Her voice was so soft, but she knew I would hear. She already knew me so well.

The agony that seared through me as I watched her silenced the thirst that had only moments ago been completely overwhelming.

"Give me a moment," I said, no longer afraid of hurting her but figuring we both needed time to collect ourselves. Knowing it would calm me as it always did, I listened to the sound of her heartbeat. When it had once again slowed to its normal pace I walked deliberately slowly toward her, willing her not to be afraid, of me or of my leaving again. I sat down in front of her, crossing my legs and mirroring her position. I smiled at her and tried to convey how much I wished I could stay beside her always.

"I am so very sorry." I wanted her to understand that my quick retreat was only for her protection, but now more than ever I didn't want to frighten her with the reality of my deplorable desire. "Would you understand what I meant if I said I was only human?"

She nodded, though for the first time all day she didn't attempt a smile. She was starting to understand. I could feel her pulse speed up again, smell the adrenaline course through her veins. Though I hadn't imagined it possible, it only made her smell more desirable. I smiled sarcastically at the irony. She was finally afraid of me and it only made me want her more.

"I'm the world's best predator, aren't I?" I said with a smirk. "Everything about me invites you in – my voice, my face, even my smell as if I need any of that!"

With a sudden rush of excitement at the knowledge that there was no reason to hide anything from her anymore, I jumped to my feet and ran with all my strength around the meadow and stood once again in the shade.

"As if you could outrun me," I laughed, feeling some kind of sick pleasure in finally sensing her fear of losing me was greater than any fear I could incite in her. Without thinking about the ramifications, I ripped a thick branch from the tree that was sheltering me and threw it against another tree. I listened to the deafening sound as it shattered, then raced to her side again, feeling something akin to adrenaline in my own lifeless veins.

"As if you could fight me off," I teased. It was only then as reality started coming back to me that I began to take in her expression. Everything stopped. The excitement faded and my own momentary joy dissolved as I looked into Bella's eyes and for the first time, saw real fear.

Bella was terrified. Of me. And it was my own fault.

My triumph turned to defeat, as the horror of what I had just done sank in. I'd always meant to show her what I was capable of, but what was I thinking, not giving her any warning at all? I'd let the excitement take over and cloud my judgment. And now Bella sat unmoving, paralyzed with fear, waiting for my next move.

"Don't be afraid," I murmured pathetically, wishing there was nothing for her to fear. "I promise..." My voice trailed off as I tried to find the words to reassure her that there was no danger. I was more in control in that moment than I had been all day, watching her, feeling her hurt. Her fear filled blood more potent than it had ever been, I forced myself to take a deep breath, fill my entire being with her scent. As the burn threatened my will and urged me to act, I stared at Bella's innocent and terrified face and silenced it, determined not to let it rule me any longer.

"I swear not to hurt you," I finished, making the vow to Bella and to myself at the same time. With all the conviction of my words filling me with hope, I took another slow step toward her.

"Don't be afraid," I repeated, this time with the knowledge that, if she would let me, I would spend my entire existence making sure she never had any reason to be afraid.

Seeing her eyes soften slightly, I sat down in front of her once again, so close our knees were almost touching. I wanted to reach out to her but wasn't sure if it was too soon.

"Please forgive me," I said sincerely. She seemed puzzled by the formality of my tone, so I decided to lighten things up again, like she was so good at doing.

"I can control myself," I smiled. "You caught me off guard. But I'm on my best behavior now."

I was expecting a response and when she didn't so much as blink I grew concerned. Had I already done too much damage to be repaired? Desperate, I made one more attempt at light humor.

"I'm not thirsty today, honestly," I winked, happy my overindulgent hunting trip yesterday made that fact true, at least as far as my actual physical need was concerned.

Finally her frozen expression broke and I reveled in the sound of her laughter, even if there was still something off about it. I wasn't yet sure if she was ready to touch me again, but I couldn't help myself. I was so worried about her and all I wanted to do was comfort her, reassure her.

"Are you all right?" I asked softly. Then I reached my hand out, careful not to take hers in mine but rather letting it rest gently in her grasp. She needed to be the one in control now. I owed her that much.

She took several quiet, shallow breaths as her eyes moved between our hands and my eyes. Finally she went back to tracing my hand with her fingertips and I sighed, relieved the worst seemed to be over. I smiled warmly at her, trying to get back the feeling we had before my irrational behavior.

"So where were we, before I behaved so rudely?" I asked, wishing things could be easier for her.

"I honestly can't remember," she answered sheepishly, and the guilt washed over me once again.

"I think we were talking about why you were afraid, besides the obvious reason." Of course now I'd given her every reason to be afraid of me. After all that had transpired between us, I didn't deserve anything more than that fear. Yet still, I needed to hear her answer.

"Oh, right."

"Well?" It was ridiculous to hope for it, but I wanted to believe there was still a part of her that wanted me to stay.

As the seconds ticked by silently, it seemed less and less likely that her answer would be in my favor. As painful as I knew her next sentence might be, the anxiety of not knowing was getting the best of me.

"How easily frustrated I am," I sighed, trying not to upset her. I had to remember, I was letting her control things now. She could take as long as she needed to answer, and I would just have to channel every ounce of patience in me while I waited for her.

"I was afraid...because you can hurt me in so many ways."by breaking my heart by leaving.

If my heart could still beat, it would have started racing. It didn't seem possible that she could still want me, but I wasn't capable of dreaming, so this had to be real. She was staring at our hands again but I wanted her to look up. I needed to look into her eyes, to make sure it wasn't just some facade to make me feel better. After all, she'd proven to me time and again how self sacrificing she could be.

It probably wasn't the best idea, but the only way I could think of to find out if what she was saying was really how she felt, was to mention the possibility of leaving. Although part of me still believed it would be for the best, the thought of being away from her caused me physical pain that rivaled any raging thirst she'd ever made me feel.

"Yes," I answered slowly, not quite sure how to phrase it. I didn't want to upset her, or frighten her. But I had to know. "That is something to be afraid of, indeed. Wanting to be with me. That's really not in your best interest."

She frowned at me and I felt a glimmer of hope. Carefully, I continued, saying the words that threatened to tear me apart.

"I should have left long ago. I should leave now. But I don't know if I can."

In a strangely human moment, I held my breath as I waited for her answer.

"I don't want you to leave," she mumbled, her eyes still refusing to meet mine.

Thrilled and uncomprehending, I offered her a quick assurance, wanting her to understand that leaving wasn't really an option for me anymore.

"Which is exactly why I should. But don't worry. I'm essentially a selfish creature. I crave your company too much to do what I should."

There was no keeping anything from her anymore. She'd finally started to understand how much I craved her blood, and now I sat beside her, trying to make her understand that there were two kinds of desire I felt for her.

"I'm glad," she said sweetly. As much as I'd been keeping the relentless monster at bay, I couldn't forget his existence, and in that moment my urge to protect this innocent girl overcame my desire to be with her.

"Don't be!" I said, perhaps a bit too harshly, as I pulled my hand away from her as gently as I could manage. My touch seemed to be distracting her, and I needed her to understand what I was about to say.

"It's not only your company I crave!" I said looking away, embarrassed once again by my weakness. "Never forget I am more dangerous to you than I am to anyone else." I felt her eyes searching my face, yet in that particular moment of honesty, I couldn't bear to see what her eyes would reveal.

"I don't think I understand what you mean—by that last part anyway," she said. As I had been all day, I was expecting to hear fear in her voice, but all there was was curiosity. When I looked back into her eyes, they were thoughtful, and I realized she wanted to know the truth as much as I wanted to tell it to her. It gave me the strength to continue.

"How do I explain? And without frightening you again...hmmmm." I sifted through several possible explanations, most of them involving food. I wondered idly if that would upset her. My thoughts were interrupted when I felt her squeeze my hand. I didn't remember having put it back in hers, but I was happy to feel her touch again.

"That's amazingly pleasant, the warmth," I sighed, wishing she could understand just how spectacular it really was for me. Over the years, I'd only ever had physical contact with my family and of course all of their skin felt exactly like mine. Before Bella I hadn't felt warmth in so many decades, I'd almost forgotten what it was like.

I marveled for another brief moment over the pleasure of her touch, then forced myself to focus again. Deciding the food analogy was really the only way to explain it to a human, I sighed and tried to phrase my words carefully.

"You know how everyone enjoys different flavors? Some people love chocolate ice cream, others prefer strawberry?"

She nodded, though there was a hint of concern on her face, probably seeing where I was going with it.

"Sorry about the food analogy—I couldn't think of another way to explain."

She smiled at me and it was obviously forced, so I smiled back at her apologetically. There was no turning back now and we both knew it.

"You see, every person smells different, has a different essence. If you locked an alcoholic in a room full of stale beer, he'd gladly drink it. But he could resist, if he wished to, if her were a recovering alcoholic. Now let's say you placed in that room a glass of hundred-year-old brandy, the rarest, finest cognac—and filled the room with its warm aroma—how do you think he would fare then?"

She stared at me, trying to understand the temptation I was apparently failing miserably at explaining. I watched her expression shift from confused, to thoughtful, to somewhat accepting, then back to confused. Clearly she'd never been tempted beyond what she could tolerate, never given in and eaten forbidden food. Hadn't every child stolen a cookie from the jar at some point?

"Maybe that's not the right comparison," I said, desperate to make her understand. "Maybe it would be too easy to turn down the brandy. Perhaps I should have made our alcoholic a heroin addict instead."

Finally it all seemed to click as I saw a brief flicker of fear in her eyes, which she quickly replaced with amusement. Amazing me as always, she made a joke.

"So what you're saying it, I'm your brand of heroin?"

I smiled, showing her how much I appreciated her attempt to keep things light, but also wanting her to know that she was more right than perhaps she had realized.

"Yes, you are exactly my brand of heroin."

Without missing a beat, she asked, "Does that happen often?"

I thought for a moment, wondering how best to answer. I wanted her to know the danger and severity of the situation she'd found herself in, but I'd frightened her so much already, I struggled with the right way to say it.

Maybe if it wasn't about us directly...

"I spoke to my brothers about it. Royal didn't feel like participating. To Jasper, every one of you is much the same. He's the most recent to join our family. It's a struggle for him to abstain at all. He hasn't had time to grow sensitive to the differences in smell, in flavor."

Though I hadn't been looking directly at her, I was fairly sure I saw her flinch from the corner of my eye.

I looked swiftly back at her, wishing there was an easier way but needing her to understand why it was so much harder to control myself around her. She was so different from the rest of them, those humans I walked around with every day, barely a burn in my throat at all compared to her. My Bella and her heavenly scent, too delicious to resist but to precious to destroy.

"Sorry," I apologized.

"I don't mind. Please don't worry about offending me, or frightening me, or whichever. That's just the way you think. I can understand, or I can try to at least. Just explain however you can."

Relieved by her determination to understand, I summoned the strength to continue.

"So Jasper wasn't sure if he'd ever come across someone who was as..." I trailed off. This was the hardest part. Explaining the intense desire without upsetting her further. Finding the right adjective.

Delectable. Luscious. Exquisite. Inviting

The venom started to flow again, and I cursed myself for letting it get that far. I quickly continued my explanation, hoping she wouldn't notice the change in my voice.

"...appealingas you are to me. Which makes me think not," I finished conclusively, forcing back the thirst. "Emmett has been on the wagon loner, so to speak, and he understood what I meant. He says twice, for him, once stronger that the other."

"And for you?"

"Never."

That was it. That was what I needed her to understand. There had never in my almost one hundred years, been anyone who tempted me the way she does. The smartest thing for both of us would be for me to leave, yet neither one of us seemed able to accept that option. Still, it was only fair that she understand completely. I'd never pushed my resistance to the extreme like this. I couldn't truly be sure how long I could hold on.

Then I remembered the way she'd leaned into me earlier without a trace of fear, and the vow I'd silently made to keep her safe, to let her be close to me without giving her a reason to be afraid. I forced another deep, intoxicating breath, and let the burn strengthen my resolve. I was not going to allow the monster within to take such a precious gift from the woman who so desperately wanted nothing more than to love her.

Lost in my thoughts, I almost didn't hear her when she spoke again.

"What did Emmett do?" she asked, and instantly I went rigid. My hand made a fist inside hers, and no amount of her warmth and comfort could relax it. I wasn't going to answer her, and she knew it. Nothing could make me form those words.

"I guess I know," she said, trailing off sadly.

There was no reason for it, she wasn't accusing or condemning him, but still I felt the urge to defend my brother.

"Even the strongest of us fall off the wagon, don't we?"

"What are you asking? My permission?" she said in the harshest tone I'd ever heard her take. I was so stunned, I'm not sure I even understood what she was asking. Then in a completely different tone, she added, "I mean, is there no hope, then?"

"No, no!" I yelled, frightening even myself because in that instant I knew what she'd thought, and it horrified me. Was she really sitting beside me, calm and rational, but secretly wondering when the vampire would attack? Could she really care about me so much that she was willing to give her life to be with me?

Though she was talking about what she basically assumed was her imminent death, her voice was gentle and kind like she was comforting me. It was filled with such sadness that I was completely overcome. I wanted to hold her and tell her everything would be fine. Nothing was going to make me do to her what Emmett had done to those humans. It wasn't the same. Couldn't she see it wasn't the same?

"Of course there's hope! I mean, of course I won't..." It was then I realized that she couldn't possibly know the absolute conviction of the vow I'd made to myself earlier, the vow that was getting me through this ordeal. I wanted to make her understand that although nothing could ever dilute the potency of her blood, my love for her was making every second we spent together more bearable. Her life had been in danger many times. But now the only thing raging through me was the strength of what I felt for her. My love would save her life, again and again.

"It's different for us," I tried pitifully to explain. "Emmett...these were strangers he happened across. It was a long time ago, and he wasn't as...practiced, as careful, as he is now."

I stared at her, hoping she could see the difference.

"So if we'd met...oh, in a dark alley or something..." she said hesitantly.

"It took everything I had not to jump up in the middle of that class full of children and —" I stopped, wondering if that was too much truth for her. Yet I'd promised her total honesty so I continued, trying not to say anything too offensive. "When you walked past me, I could have ruined everything Carlisle has built for us, right then and there. If I hadn't been denying my thirst for the last, well, too many years, I wouldn't have been able to stop myself."

I felt the disgust wash across my face remembering that first dark day, when I'd almost taken the life of the most innocent, the most compassionate of humans. I never would have known just how profane a sin I'd committed. I'd never have felt this impossibly strong love for the girl who now sat across from me, the unworthy vampire.

"You must have though I was possessed," I said, finally forcing myself to see that horrific day through her eyes.

"I couldn't understand why. How you could hate me so quickly..."

"To me, it was like you were some kind of demon, summoned straight from my own personal hell to ruin me. The fragrance coming off your skin...I thought it would make me deranged that first day. In that one hour, I thought of a hundred different ways to lire you from the room with me, to get you alone. And I fought them each back, thinking of my family, what I could do to them. I had to run out, to get away before I could speak the words that would make you follow..."

She looked confused, although I was certain she was at least beginning to understand how close I had actually been. She hadn't said anything in so long and I wanted to gauge her reaction, so I added something I probably should have kept to myself.

"You would have come."

Her voice was calm, as she confirmed what I already knew. "maybe."

Though I fought it, I was bombarded by the image of what I could have done to her in my selfish, destructive desire. I saw a flash of her cold pale skin, and no longer had it in me to look into her eyes. They were so comfortable, so trusting, and I deserved none of it.

"And then," I continued sadly, staring down at her perfect, warm hands still holding mine tightly, "as I tried to rearrange my schedule in a pointless attempt to avoid you, you were there – in that close, warm little room, the scent was maddening. I so very nearly took you then. There was only one other frail human there – so easily dealt with."

I saw her shiver so I stopped momentarily, taking another deep breath to scorch my throat. It seemed a fitting punishment. I was admitting to the worst moment of my terrible weakness and making her relive that day, showing her how close she and all the others were to death. That was surely going to haunt her for the rest of her life. It wasn't fair that she was suffering alone. I parted my lips slightly and inhaled again, letting the burn saturate my throat before I continued.

"But I resisted. I don't know how. I forced myselfvnot to wait for you,not to follow you from the school. It was easier outside, when I couldn't smell you anymore, to think clearly, to make the right decision. I left the others near home – I was too ashamed to tell them how weak I was, they only knew something was very wrong – and then I went straight to Carlisle, at the hospital, to tell him I was leaving."

Of all the things I'd told her throughout the day, I didn't understand how that would be the piece of information that shocked her. But there she sat, wide eyed and clearly surprised. Had she even realized I'd left? I'd thought about her every second I was away. I wanted to ask her what she did during those days. It had been nagging at me, wondering what I'd missed during my pathetic escape attempt.

But her eyes were urging me to continue, and this day was hers. She needed me to finish my story, no matter how embarrassed I was of what I had done.

"I traded cars with him – he had a full tank of gas and I didn't want to stop. I didn't dare to go home, to face Esme. She wouldn't have let me go without a scene. She would have tried to convince me that it wasn't necessary..."

I almost stopped to clarify, after all I didn't want Bella to get the wrong impression of Esme. Despite how some of my family felt, Esme never would have encouraged me to act on my thirst in order to stay. Not to say she wouldn't have done everything else including but not limited to house arrest to keep me from leaving. Still, Bella didn't seem upset by what I'd said, so I continued, anxious to get through it and ready to move on. The next part of my story was the most humiliating.

"By the next morning I was in Alaska. I spent two days there, with some old acquaintances...but I was homesick."

And Tareas was as relentless as ever and it was making me insane,I thought, deciding to edit out that part. No need to burden her with the annoyance of "Desperate Vampire Seeking Mate."

"I hated knowing I'd upset Esme, and the rest of them, my adopted family. In the pure air of the mountains it was hard to believe you were so irresistible. I convinced myself it was weak to run away. I'd dealt with temptation before, not of this magnitude, not even close, but I was strong."

At least I used to think I was strong. I suppressed the smile that was building inside me as certain realizations started to sink in. Even when it was easier for me and my pathetic lack of control, I wasn't happy being away from her. She was everything. She was the reason for it all.

"Who were you, an insignificant little girl..." And finally I couldn't hide the grin any longer, because the look on her face was priceless. "...to chase me from the place I wanted to be? So I came back..."

She was still looking at me incredulously and I hoped I hadn't offended her. She didn't know it yet, couldn't understand, but in my confession I'd realized the answer I'd been searching for. She was why I came back. This girl, this fragile human girl. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew now that she controlled me then just as she was controlling me now. I was hers, long before I consciously knew it.

Yes, I missed my family. I missed this silly, rainy, overcast town and the fact that I could lead a somewhat normal life here. Of course I hated to admit that some human had driven me from my home. But none of those were the real reasons I came back.

I came back because I couldn't get her scent out of my head, couldn't stop seeing her face every time I closed my eyes. I was intoxicated by everything about her. I missed Bella. And no amount of thirst or pain could keep me away. Just like no pain I would feel would ever be worth harming her in any way.

I wanted to tell her, explain everything I was feeling, but I felt an obligation to finish what I had started. So I continued, trying to keep the words from bursting out of me.

"I took precautions, hunting, feeding more than usual before seeing you again. I was sure that I was strong enough to treat you like any other human. I was arrogant about it. It was unquestionably a complication that I couldn't simply read your thoughts to know what your reaction was to me. I wasn't used to having to go to such circuitous measures, listening to your words in Jeremy's mind...his mind isn't very original, and it was annoying to have to stoop to that."

Maybe one day I would admit all the dreadful things Jeremy thought about her. I hated that Bella was so trusting of him and his supposed friendship, when Jeremy didn't deserve any of it. But that was for another today. Today was hers. Ours.

"And then I couldn't know if you really meant what you said. It was all extremely irritating. I wanted you to forget my behavior that first day, if possible, so I tried to talk with you like I would with any person. I was eager actually, hoping to decipher some of your thoughts. But you were too interesting," I admitted, and my confession almost slipped out. How I hung on every word she said, sifted through everyone else's boring mind just to see her face, hear her voice. How I watched her sleep, entranced, listening to her dream. No, it was too soon for all that.

"I found myself caught up in your expressions...and every now and then you would stir the air with your hand or your hair, and the scent would stun me again..."

Then the worst moment of my existence flashed before my eyes, as I remembered the panic I felt watching that van careening towards her. Was there any way to explain what I felt in those seconds? The only possible way was to admit to her the careful lie I had composed – composed my never had the strength to use – to cover up the truth of that terrible moment. I could tell her the truth, admit why I had risked everything to save her. It was the answer to the question that had plagued her for far too long. And it was the most important thing I could give her.

"Of course, then you were nearly crushed to death in front of my eyes. Later I thought of a perfectly good excuse for why I acted at that moment – because if I hadn't saved you, if you blood had been spilled there in front of me, I don't think I could have stopped myself from exposing us for what we are."

I took a deep breath and for once didn't even notice the searing pain, though I'm sure it was there. I was staring intently into her eyes, happy that I could finally tell her how that moment had changed everything.

"But I only thought of that excuse later. At the time, all I could think was, 'Not her.'"

I closed my eyes, feeling truly tired for the first time in almost a century. She still hadn't spoken a word, though I could hear her heartbeat start to speed up again. When she finally spoke, her voice was strained, like she had gone a long time without swallowing and her throat was aching for something to quench the thirst. I tried not to smile at the comparison. Maybe she really could understand my pain to some extent.

"In the hospital?" she asked, and I was startled that after all I'd confessed, she was still searching for answers from my darkest moments. How much more truth could she take? Yet I forced myself to continue.

"I was appalled. I couldn't believe I had put us in danger after all, put myself in your power – you of all people. As if I needed another motive to kill you."

She flinched at the same time as I did, and I hated myself for having let the word slip out. I'd been so careful not to say it, but in all my honesty I must have let my guard down. Hastily, I tried to fix whatever hurt I'd just inadvertently caused her.

"But it had the opposite effect," I said quickly, trying to think of anything that could make her feel more at ease. Though it was difficult for me to admit even to myself, that was essentially the moment when I first chose her over my family. It would be hard to say the words out loud, but I felt I owed her that truth.

"I fought with Royal, Emmett, and Jasper when they suggested that now was the time...the worst fight we've ever had. Carlisle sided with me, and Alice." I tried my best not to show anything on my face, but it was impossible to think of Alice without also thinking about her two unacceptable visions for Bella's future. "Esme told me to do whatever I had to in order to stay."

I shook my head, wondering again if I should defend Esme and her compassionate nature. She told me to do whatever was necessary, but of course I could read her thoughts. She never would have allowed me to hurt Bella. She and Carlisle already had a plan and they would have intervened long before I did anything I would regret later.

"All that next day," I continued, lost in the memory of it all, "I eavesdropped on the minds of everyone you spoke to, shocked that you kept your word. I didn't understand you at all. But I knew that I couldn't become more involved with you. I did my very best to stay as far from you as possible. And every day the perfume of your skin, your breath, your hair...it hit me as hard as the very first day."

As I thought back to the endless nights I spent agonizing over how best to keep her safe, I couldn't help but smile softly. Even then, even when everything in my nature was telling me to act, to give in...I couldn't bear to think of hurting her. The thirst burned me, tortured me, but every time it scorched me I was assaulted by images that I knew I would never let come to pass.

I thought of her cold, lifeless body, of never being able to see her smile again or guess the thoughts of her silent mind. And although I didn't yet have a name for it, I could feel the emotion that was slowly taking over everything in me, feel it changing me. It was taking me farther away from the monster, and closer to the woman I wanted to be.

Knowing this was it, the moment of truth I'd been so desperate for all day, I looked into her eyes with all the love and affection that had been bubbling to the surface.

"And for that," I said slowly, needing her to really take it all in, "I'd have fared better if I had exposed us all at that first moment, than if now, here – with no witnesses and nothing to stop me – I were to hurt you."

Her expression was still unreadable as she softly asked, "Why?"

"Isabella," I said, using her full name to make sure I had her complete attention. And because I'd been longing to see how it sounded coming from my lips. Without thinking I gave in to something I'd been wanting to do all afternoon. I reached up and ran my fingers through her hair, relishing the way it softly caressed my fingers.

I smiled as my touch made her shiver, because I could tell she wasn't afraid. She was excited.

Bella, I couldn't live with myself if I ever hurt you. You don't know how it's tortured me." I looked down, suddenly nervous about what I was about to say. I wanted her to know, needed her to understand, but the words were catching. That same image that had haunted me for so long was now it the forefront of my mind and I needed to push it away, to bury it for good. It would never happen. Bella would never be taken from me. I forced the words out, knowing they would give me strength to tell Bella how much she truly meant to me.

"The thought of you, still, white, cold...to never see you blush scarlet again, to never see that flash of intuition in your eyes when you see through my pretenses never hear you scold me for my temper...it would be unendurable."

With that I met her gaze and all the pain I was feeling, all the agony I'd suffered fighting the monster inside disappeared. She was finally going to know. She would finally understand.

"You are the most important thing to me now. The most important thing to me ever."

I heard her heart beat faster than I'd ever heard it as she dropped her eyes down and looked at our entwined hands. My eyes never left her face. I couldn't hear her thoughts. Her expression was all I had. Although I was pretty sure the racing heart was a good sign.

"You already know how I feel, of course," she said, still not meeting my eyes and torturing me in a new way. She was making me guess how she felt when all I wanted was to hear her say the words out loud. She wasn't looking at me, but still I silently pleaded with my eyes. Tell me. Please, tell me.

"I'm here...which, roughly translated, means I would risk a whole lot just to be with you."

She'd just told me quite possibly the most beautiful thing anyone in the history of the world had ever said. Yet she was frowning. And I was baffled.

"I'm an idiot," she added.

That sent me over the edge. I grinned, like the absolute fool that I was and laughed in agreement, because her reactions really were ridiculous.

"You are an idiot," I said, still chuckling, and relieved when she finally met my gaze. She was happy, confused but happy, and we laughed together wondering how we'd gotten to this point.

My eyes never left hers as I finally gave in and said the words I'd been thinking all afternoon.

"And so the lion fell in love with the lamb..."

She blushed and looked away, and as much as I wanted to stare into her eyes forever, I understood that this was a turning point for her. Although I'd been thinking the word for quite some time, I recognized her shy reaction as I confessed my love. If she needed time to let it sink in, I'd give her as much as she needed. I'd give her anything.

"What a stupid lamb," she finally sighed, and my grin only widened. Really, I was the much bigger idiot in this scenario. I'd brought this all upon myself, willfully putting myself in agony every day just to be near her.

"What a sick, masochistic lion," I added, letting my eyes drift to the trees behind her. The sky was still bright, but I saw one dark cloud roll in and I wondered if it was going to rain on us, here in our perfect moment. I don't think either of us would have cared.

"Why..." she said softly, but then trailed off. I smiled because even though I was sure it wasn't what she was asking, the word made me think about all the reasons why I loved her. The sunlight bounced off my skin, casting prisms on her face, yet she smiled at me like there was nothing unusual about it at all. That was definitely one of the many reasons why.

"Yes?" I asked, really just wanting to hear her perfect voice for awhile. I felt like I had been talking all day.

"Tell me why you ran away before," she finished and my smile disappeared.

"You know why."

"No, I mean,exactly what did I do wrong? I'll have to be on my guard, you see, so I better start learning what I shouldn't do."

I wanted to scowl at her for managing once again to place the blame on herself when I was the one whose behavior was inexcusable. But the disapproving look I intended to give her got lost in a wave of pleasure as she once again reached out and stroked her fingers against my hand.

"This, for example, seems to be all right."

I just smiled and let myself indulge a little in the feel of her touch. My voice was relaxed as she calmed me with her gentleness.

"You didn't do anything wrong, Bella. It was my fault." Always my fault.

"But I want to help, if I can, to not make this harder for you."

"Well," I said reluctantly, but unable to argue with her if she was set on making things easier. I wanted it not for my sake but for hers. I was more determined than ever to keep complete and perfect control when we were together, to never let her be afraid again.

"It was just how close you were," I sighed remembering her breath on my hand, her face inches from mine. "Most humans instinctively shy away from us, are repelled by our alienness...I wasn't expecting you to come so close. And the smell of your throat," I said urgently, the burn making itself known again. But I was in control. There was nothing for her to worry about and I checked to make sure her eyes weren't fearful.

"Okay, then," she said as if I were talking about something completely unimportant, rather than her survival. Then in possibly the cutest gesture I'd ever seen her make, she tucked her chin, smiled and said, "No throat exposure."

I laughed, deliriously happy that I was able to talk openly with her about everything now, even my repulsive longing to sink my teeth into her throat. It didn't seem to upset her or scare her. She was just as thrilled by my honesty as I was at finally being able to share everything with her.

Of course I didn't want her to think she needed to start wearing turtlenecks everyday, so I quickly clarified.

"No, really, it was more the surprise than anything else."

Slowly, I reached up to touch the side of her neck. Her skin was so soft, so delicate, and I wondered what it would be like to brush against it with my nose. My lips...

I would have worried that my cold touch would bother her, but she had been initiating contact all day. She seemed to like my touch as much as I relished in hers, so I left it there, feeling her pulse under my fingertips.

"You see," I told her calmly. "Perfectly fine." And I really was. Even as I listened to her pulse race, took in her luxurious scent, I couldn't feel even the slightest lapse in my control. All I could think about was how I wanted to touch her more and make her heart race faster.

I'd never been more comfortable with her than in that moment, so I decided to test myself just a bit further. I knew I was incapable of hurting her now. The woman was finally winning the battle with the monster. And I really did want to be closer, to feel more of her skin on mine.

Sensing what I was feeling as she always did, her cheeks turned their familiar shade of pink. I wanted to laugh because it seemed silly to blush in such a moment, sitting in our stillness, just watching each other. But I also knew what I was about to do and I didn't want her to be embarrassed of her reactions to me. I enjoyed them. They made her who she was, and they reminded me that at least some part of her longed for me as I longed for her.

"The blush on your cheeks is lovely," I said softly, and watched the shade deepen.

Reluctantly, I took my other hand from hers and it fell lifelessly to her side. She didn't want me to let go either. It was the most amazing feeling to be so wanted. Eager to show her my intentions, I brushed my fingers lightly along her soft cheek. She sighed and I felt her relax beneath my touch. Encouraged, I brought my other hand up from her neck and cupped her face delicately between my hands, always aware of how utterly breakable she was.

It terrified me, but also filled me the deepest sense of joy that she trusted me so completely. It fueled my earlier resolve and made me believe that being with her could really be possible.

"Be very still," I said, ready to test my limits but still afraid of my instincts taking over without warning. As much as I wanted to let her control everything today, this was definitely a moment I needed to lead. Even though it seemed impossible that I would hurt her now of all times, I wasn't going to take any unnecessary chances. I had to be in charge, just for these few precious moments.

Slowly, so slow I wasn't even sure I was moving, I leaned closer to her. I kept my eyes locked with hers, silently reminding her not to make any sudden movements. My fingers were still stinging from the sensation of warmth where I had touched her face and neck. I wanted to feel that warmth on my face, wanted to feel that much more human for her. So I gently laid my cheek against her throat, taking one shallow breath to see how much more potent her scent would be in such close proximity.

It was painful, but bearable. The thirst raked at my throat, but I was so happy to be touching her without her being afraid that it lessened the pain. Assured that I was still in complete control, I allowed my breaths to return to normal. I let my fingers trace down from her face to her neck, focusing on the texture of her skin on mine. I felt her shiver and worried for one brief moment if having so much of my icy skin on hers at once was making her too cold. Then I realized her heart was racing again and reminded myself that her shivers could mean something else.

When my hands finally rested on her shoulders, I let my nose trace along the length of her collarbone. The fiery burn was almost too much and I contemplated backing away, but I was so near to her heart and it was beating faster than I'd ever heard it. Beating that way for me.

It gave me all the encouragement I needed to take the final step in my little experiment. I pressed my cheek firmly but gently into her chest and listened to her frantic heartbeat. I forced one more deep breath of her heavenly scent and closed my eyes.

"Ah," I breathed, letting the sanctity of this impossible moment wash over me. I don't know how long I sat there, face pressed against her wonderfully warm skin, but I eventually noticed her heartbeat return to normal. We both breathed steadily and I wondered if she could be as unwilling to let this moment end as I was. Still, I was curious what her expression would show me, so I slowly returned to my sitting position and let my hands fall to my side. I knew it wouldn't be long until I would be holding her again.

She looked content, happy even, though there was still a hint of nervousness in her eyes. I didn't want her to think that every time I touched her she would have to sit there like a statue. In fact, part of me wished she could have touched my cheek as well. I longed to feel her soft fingers trace the lines of my face.

"It won't be so hard again," I assured her, glad I could say it with such confidence. It really had been quite manageable.

"Was that very hard for you?" she asked, concerned for me as she always was.

"Not nearly as bad as I imagined it would be," I said truthfully. "And you?"

"No, it wasn't bad...for me," she answered, blushing the deepest shade of red I'd seen yet. A huge grin pulled at my lips. She'd enjoyed me touching her, being that close to her.

"You know what I mean," I teased and she grinned right back at me.

"Here," I said, pleased to have just thought of an excuse to hold her hand again. I brought it softly up to my cheek and sighed as I felt her caress my skin. I could tell my face wasn't as icy as usual, still radiating some of her delightful warmth, and I hoped she could feel it too.

"Do you feel how warm it is?" I asked hopefully.

She looked like she wanted to answer me, but the strangest expression had just crossed her face. It was almost...longing? How I wished I could know what she was thinking.

"Don't move," she whispered, and I froze beneath her. Sensing what she was about to do, I let my eyes close and focused on making sure I was still in control of myself. I knew it was coming, but I still felt myself tense as her fingers touched my cheek. I wanted to lean into her touch, encourage her, let her know how much I was enjoying it. But she had stayed still for me, and it was her turn to explore me now.

I was surprised when I felt her touch my closed eyes, and again wondered what she was thinking. Then her fingers moved to my nose and eventually my lips. Without meaning to, I opened my mouth and let out the breath I hadn't realized I was holding. Yet somehow I knew I hadn't been holding it to keep her scent away. Recognizing yet another long buried human reaction, I realized I'd been holding it in anticipation.

Far too soon, I felt her hand pull away from me. I opened my eyes and could feel them shamefully begging her for more. Did she have any idea what she was doing to me? I wanted to wrap my arms around her, pull her close, inhale her luscious scent until it drove me mad. It was a new kind of desire, one I hadn't believed myself capable of, and it was harder to contain even than the beast whose need I thought would always come first. This was new, and wonderful, and completely unexpected.

"I wish," I said, struggling for the right words, "I wish you could feel the...complexity...the confusion...I feel. That you could understand."

Unable to control this new longing, I reached up and ran my fingers through her hair once more.

"Tell me," she whispered, and I could feel how badly she wanted to understand.

"I don't think I can. I've told you, on the one hand, the hunger – the thirst – that, deplorable creature that I am, I feel for you. And I think you can understand that, to an extent. Though as you are not addicted to any illegal substances, you probably can't empathize completely," I teased, determined to keep the mood light.

She'd ended up understanding better than I could have expected. Regretfully, my foolish actions during the day had finally made her see the danger of being with me. Yet now those desires were overshadowed by new and powerful sensations, and I needed her to understand just what that meant. There was hope for us now. I finally felt like I had something to offer her.

"But..." I said quietly, letting my fingers gently caress her lips and loving the shudder that ran through her as I did, "There are other hungers. Hungers I don't even understand, that are foreign to me."

"I may understand that better than you think." Her breath was shaky when she spoke and it filled me with delight.

"I'm not used to feeling so human," I admitted. "Is it always like this?"

"For me?" she asked. I held another expectant breath as I waited for her answer. "No, never. Never before this."

At that I reached out both of my hands and scooped hers into mine, holding them tighter than I probably should have. If my strength made her uncomfortable, she didn't complain. After a moment I forced myself to loosen my grip, just in case I was hurting her. It was unfathomable that this new desire was almost as difficult to control as the one I'd been fearing for so long. I wanted to hold her tight, squeeze her hands in mine and never let go. It was harder than I would have imagined, holding back and minding every touch for fear of crushing her fragile body.

"I don't know how to be close to you," I said with a sudden twinge of sadness. "I don't know if I can."

This wasn't something I'd factored into the equation. My longing to be close to her could put her in as much danger as the thirst I'd finally manged to tame. It felt like the universe was against us, giving us more and more reasons not to be together.

Something of my inner turmoil must have shown on my face, and being the compassionate soul that she was, her next gesture was one of pure comfort. She leaned into me, slowly as was our understood standard, and rested her cheek on my chest. I wished I could make my heart beat for her.

"This is enough," she said sweetly, letting her eyes flutter closed.

Completely overcome with my love for her and the trust and faith she had in me, I didn't know how to respond. I wanted to ask how she could possibly think I was enough for her. What chance at a normal life could I offer her? Yet as the wind ruffled her hair again and blew her scent toward me once more, I smiled and reminded myself we had already won the hardest battle.

Acting on what I could only assume was some part of my human nature, I wrapped my arms gently around her and took a deep breath of her hair. It was the most marvelous scent, and my joy once again silenced the burn.

"You're better at this than you give yourself credit for," she said with a giggle. It was such a relief that my gesture appeared to have been the appropriate one.

"I have human instincts – they may be buried deep, but they're there."

I closed my eyes, and let the events of the day replay through my mind. We'd accomplished so much, both of us, and although it seemed the world was against us, I wasn't going to let anything touch us in our fleeting moment of perfect bliss.

With a sigh, I noticed the setting sun and felt our day coming to an end. If it weren't for the fact that I knew I would be watching her sleep in a few short hours, I don't think I would have been able to let her go.

"You have to go," I muttered, half hoping she wouldn't hear me. Or wouldn't care.

"I thought you couldn't read my mind," she sighed.

"It's getting clearer," I said, smiling at how well I seemed to understand her now. As I thought about how long it had taken to walk there this morning, I grew concerned that it would be dark long before we could reach the car. And while the dark didn't matter to me, I knew it would make the hike that much more difficult for her. With a rush of excitement I thought of a solution, though I wasn't sure how she would react to it. Still, it seemed like a fitting way to end our day of truth and revelations.

"Can I show you something?" I asked, looking deep into her eyes to gauge her reaction.

"Show me what?" she asked nervously.

"I'll show you how I travel in the forest." I saw the glint of fear in her eyes, and I suppressed my laughter as I thought about all the possibilities her imagination was likely creating. "Don't worry, you'll be very safe, and we'll get to your truck much faster." I smiled, trying to assure her I'd protect her as I let her take a small step into my vampire world.

"Will you turn into a bat?" she asked, and the laughter I'd been holding in finally escaped in a loud burst. Hollywood really had fun coming up with ways to make our world even stranger than it already was.

"Like I haven't heard that one before!"

"Right, I'm sure you get that all the time," she muttered sarcastically, probably trying to mask her embarrassment.

"Come on, little coward," I teased, having a bit more fun with it than I should have. "Climb on my back."

She looked at me like I was joking, so I smiled and went to pull her up. Her heart was racing again but it didn't sound the same as before when I was touching her. I was startled realize I could tell the difference, and thrilled that I'd inadvertently discovered another way of reading her.

As I pulled her up, I felt her tiny arms and legs lock around me, and tried my best not to think about how good it felt to have her pressed into me.

"I'm a bit heavier than your average backpack," she said shyly.

"Hah!" I laughed again, rolling my eyes. She felt as light as a feather to me.

I casually reached up and brought her palm to my cheek, partly because I wanted her to feel comfortable again and partly because I missed the feeling of her hand against my face. I inhaled her beautiful scent, barely noticing the ache it incited in my throat.

"Easier all the time," I whispered, more to myself than to her.

Then with one final breath I took off. I immediately felt her hand leave my face and resume its firm grip around my neck. I wished I could see her. I really had no way of knowing how she would react to the speed. Since I couldn't read her and I really didn't want to stop until we reached the truck, I simply let myself thrill to the excitement of running. It wasn't just the running though, it was feeling Bella there with me, finally sharing with her the one part of this miserable existence I actually enjoyed.

I thought about slowing down, to prolong the moment, but I was anxious to hear her thoughts on the experience. I hoped it was as invigorating for her as it always was for me.

After just a few minutes, I spotted her truck in the distance. Slowing down to a gentle stop, I took in another deep breath, letting her scent mingle with all the life of the forest around us. It was divine.

"Exhilarating, isn't it?" I asked excitedly. I waited for a few seconds, eager for her response, when it occurred to me she was still gripping me so tightly her knuckles had turned white.

"Bella?" I asked, growing concerned.

"I think I need to lie down," she said breathlessly.

"Oh, sorry," I said, feeling a sharp pain of regret. I didn't think it would have bothered her that much.

"I think I need help," she added, arms and legs still clenched around me.

Despite my best efforts, a small laugh escaped my lips. Of all the things about me she couldn't handle, of course it would end up being the one thing I was so sure she would like. I unlocked her grip and pulled her into my arms, wrapping her up the way I had in our meadow. The human gestures were coming to me more readily every second.

I was enjoying holding her, but then I remembered she had asked to lie down. I lowered her carefully onto the ferns and quickly inspected her to make sure there was no outward damage. Had I underestimated the effect of the sharp wind against her face, or the amount of strain the speed would put on her body?

"How do you feel?" I asked, genuinely concerned though I couldn't see anything wrong with her.

"Dizzy, I think."

Oh, well I guess that was a reasonable response. "Put your head between your knees." I'd never understood it, but I'd heard people say it helped.

I continued watching her, and listening as her breathing steadied. Eventually she lifted her head, though she kept her eyes closed.

"I guess that wasn't the best idea," I murmured apologetically.

"No, it was very interesting," she said, eyes still squeezed shut. I laughed at her feeble attempt to make me feel better.

"Hah! You're at white as a ghost – no, you're as white as me!" I laughed.

"I think I should have closed my eyes," she said, shaking her head at herself.

"Remember that next time."

"Next time!" she yelled, and I had to laugh again. Then quietly I heard her mutter, "Show-off."

I sat there listening to her as her breathing steadied and watched her, wondering how on earth this could be her most difficult moment of the day. She'd been alone with me all day as I relentlessly shared with her my darkest secrets. She didn't fear my unnatural skin or my unyielding strength. She reveled in my cold touch and graced me with her warm fingertips in return. I'd accomplished everything I set out to do and so much more. There was only one way this day could be more perfect and in that quiet moment, with only the sound of her heart and our breathing, I let myself believe it was possible.

"Open your eyes, Bella," I said in my gentlest voice.

As her beautiful eyes fluttered open, I heard her breath catch. She was surprised by how close I was, but it didn't seem to bother her. In fact I could swear she moved just a fraction of an inch nearer to me my instinct.

"I was thinking, while I was running..." I began, wondering how I would bring up what I so desperately wanted to try.

"About not hitting trees, I hope," she interjected.

"Silly Bella," I laughed. Always afraid of me for all the wrong reasons. "Running is second nature to me, it's not something I have to think about."

"Show-off," she said again, this time obviously meaning for me to hear it.

I smiled at her and prepared myself for what was next. The last hurdle to jump over. My final test of the day. Just how close could I be to her and still keep the monster at bay?

"No. I was thinking there was something I wanted to try."

Of course all of this was entirely new to me, so I hadn't the faintest idea of how to start. So I decided to begin with the gesture that had left us both feeling so at peace earlier. I took her soft face into my hands and gazed into her eyes.

For a moment, she stopped breathing altogether. It wasn't until then that I realized I hadn't taken a breath in awhile either. Perhaps that was smart. But being stupid had gotten me pretty far today, so I decided to take a careful breath.

Even with her face inches from mine and her moist lips parted as she realized what I wanted to do, I was in control. I moved very slowly toward her until I could feel her breath on my face. It was warm, just like her touch, and I paused to marvel at how wonderful it felt. Taking another deep and cautious breath, I watched her eyes close softly. A quiet sigh escaped her lips and it was all the reassurance I needed. There was no need great enough to make me harm her, now or ever. So I let my own eyes close as hers had, and pressed my lips to hers.

It was the most magnificent feeling, soft and loving. I could taste her on my lips but it didn't ignite the painful thirst as I had expected. It made me long for more of her embrace.

Unfortunately, Bella seemed as in tune to my desires as always, and was all too willing to give me what I wanted. Every caution, every warning, every plea I had made to her to stay still disappeared. Her fingers reached up and grabbed at my hair and secured my face to hers. Her lips were parted beneath mine and I could feel her breathing me in just as I had breathed her in.

And without warning it was too much. The tender, affectionate woman was gone and the monster could once again taste what it desired most. And this time my prey was clutching me to her. I froze, holding my breath and forcing the beast to retreat. I quickly played back our day in the grass, remembering the way her eyes watched me with curiosity and above all her graceful innocence.

Without opening my eyes, I pushed her face away but couldn't bring myself to release her entirely. Feeling her perfect warmth in my hands was the only thing allowing me to hold onto my last bit of restraint. Still refusing to breathe, I opened my eyes. Hers were still closed, and even in the midst of the terrible moment, I found myself wondering what she was thinking.

Eventually her eyes opened, and after taking in my expression, she whispered, "Oops."

"That's an understatement," I mumbled sarcastically.

"Should I..." she started to move, but that only seemed to make it worse. I couldn't have her stirring her scent around me.

"No, it's tolerable. Wait for a moment, please," I said as calmly as I could manage. Even then I refused to let her know just how close I had been to letting the monster out.

It helped that she never took her eyes off of mine. There was no way I would have been able to hurt her while staring into them. She watched me with such adoration, it made the wild thirst die down more quickly.

"There," I finally said, feeling a touch of my earlier peace return to me.

"Tolerable?" she asked, smirking ever so slightly. Casual and relaxed again so quickly. I had to laugh.

"I'm stronger than I thought. It's nice to know." Yes. I needed to focus on the strength I had found rather than the weakness that had almost overtaken me. After all, I had still won the battle. And I learned another piece of information that would help me next time. Hmm. I wondered how she would react if I asked her to keep her eyes open while kissing me.

"I wish I could say the same. I'm sorry," she said, frowning. I couldn't bear to see her place the blame on herself again. So I teased her. She seemed to like it when I made jokes.

"You are only human, after all."

"Thanks so much," she said bitterly, and I wished I had just left it alone.

Ready for this dismal moment to be over, I jumped to my feet and reached for her hand. I was surprised when she didn't immediately take it and worried I'd frightened her more than I'd thought, but then I felt her hand in mine and everything felt normal again. Well, normal for us.

She wobbled unsteadily as I tried to get a better grip on her. Of course I was used to her lack of coordination, but I couldn't resist the urge to make just one more joke.

"Are you still faint from the run? Or was it my kissing expertise?" I laughed.

She watched me for a moment, like she was trying to work out some equation in her head. If she had any idea how frustrating it was for me not knowing...

"I can't be sure, I'm still woozy," she finally answered. "I think it's some of both, though."

"Maybe you should let me drive," I offered, wondering how in the world she would be able to drive when she could barely walk.

"Are you insane?"

"I can drive better than you on your best day," I reminded her. "You have much slower reflexes." I didn't mean it as an insult. It was just one of the differences between our two kinds.

"I'm sure that's true, but I don't think my nerves, or my truck, could take it."

"Some trust, please, Bella." I almost laughed at the irony of my asking for her trust now, when she'd done nothing but give it to me wholeheartedly all day.

I watched as her hand clenched in her pocket, probably holding onto the key with all her might. She seemed to think about it momentarily, but shook her head, unwilling to budge.

"Nope. Not a chance."

I lifted an eyebrow, silently asking if she was really putting her foot down on this one. I don't know why, but as she began walking around me toward the driver's side, it started to feel like a challenge.

As I watched her stumble once again, I reached my arm out and encircled her waist.

"Bella, I've already expended a great deal of personal effort at this point to keep you alive," I reminded her, still trying to keep things light. "I'm not about to let you behind the wheel of a vehicle when you can't even walk straight. Besides, friends don't let friends drive drunk."

I laughed as I watched my joke sink in. She understood, but still she had to ask. And of course I couldn't resist.

"Drunk?"

"You're intoxicated by my very presence." I grinned my most mischievous grin at her.

"I can't argue with that," she conceded, and I had to admit it made me happy to know she really did feel that way.

With a knowing look, she lifted the key in the air and let it drop. Of course I caught it instantly and she just smiled.

"Take it easy – my truck is a senior citizen," she said, a real hint of worry in her voice. Once again, always afraid of the wrong things.

"Very sensible," I said seriously, letting her know I wouldn't push her ancient truck past its limit. No, apparently it was only myself I was willing to push to the extreme.

Then I noticed she was looking at me somewhat sadly, and I wondered if it really bothered her that much, the idea of me driving too fast in her beloved truck.

When she spoke however, her voice was as miserable as her expression, though she tried to mask it with irritation.

"Are you not affected at all? By my presence?"

I smiled at her again, baffled that she couldn't see it, feel in emanating from me every second we were together. I was affected by everything she did, every way she looked, every sound she made. Her presence made my existence worthwhile.

Determined to make her see just what she did to me, I lowered my face slowly to hers and let my lips trace her jawline. Gently my mouth caressed her from her ear to her chin, over and over until both of our breathing had sped up and I trusted she was starting to understand. When I looked at her again, her eyes were wide and excited.

"Regardless," I said softly, "I have better reflexes."


	28. mind over matter Bella pov

She could drive well, when she kept the speed reasonable, I had to admit. Like so many things, it seemed to be effortless to her. She barely looked at the road, yet the tires never deviated so much as a centimeter from the center of the lane. She drove one-handed, her free hand resting on my thigh. My arm entwined around hers. Sometimes she gazed into the setting sun, sometimes she glanced at me—my face, my hair blown in the wind, my arm around hers.

She had turned the radio to an oldies station, and she sang along with a song I'd never heard. She knew every line.

"You like fifties music?" I asked.

"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh!" She shuddered. "The eighties were bearable."

"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" I asked, tentative, not wanting to upset her buoyant humor.

"Does it matter much?" Her smile, to my relief, remained unclouded.

"No, but I still wonder…" I shrugged. "There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

"I wonder if it will upset you," she reflected to herself. She gazed into the sun; the minutes passed.

"Try me," I finally said.

She sighed, and then looked into my eyes, seeming to forget the road completely for a time. Whatever she saw there must have encouraged her. She looked into the sun—the light of the setting orb glittered off her skin in ruby-tinged sparkles—and spoke.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." She paused and glanced at me from the corner of her eyes. My face was carefully unsurprised, patient for the rest. She smiled a tiny smile and continued. "Carlisle found me in a hospital dying of the Spanish influenza. I was just seventeen, nearly eighteen."

She heard my intake of breath, though it was barely audible to my own ears. She looked down into my eyes again.

"I don't remember it well—it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." She was lost in her thoughts for a short time before she went on. "I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget."

"Your parents?"

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he… save you?"

A few seconds passed before she answered. She seemed to choose her words carefully.

"It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint necessary to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us… I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history." She paused. "For me, it was merely very, very painful."

I could tell from the set of her lips, she would say no more on this subject. I suppressed my curiosity, though it was far from idle. There were many things I needed to think through on this particular issue, things that were only beginning to occur to me. No doubt her quick mind had already comprehended every aspect that eluded me.

Her soft voice interrupted my thoughts. "He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

"So you must be dying, then, to become…" We never said the word, and I couldn't frame it now.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." The respect in her voice was profound whenever she spoke of her father figure. "It is easier he says, though," she continued, "if the blood is weak." She looked at the now-dark road, and I could feel the subject closing again.

"And Emmett and Royal?"

"Carlisle brought Royal to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping he would be to me what Esme was to him—he was careful with his thoughts around me." She rolled her eyes. "But he was never more than a brother. It was only two years later that Royal found Emmett. He was hunting—we were in Appalachia at the time—and found a bear about to finish him off. He carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid he wouldn't be able to do it himself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for him." She threw a pointed glance in my direction, and raised her hand to brush my cheek.

"But he made it," I encouraged, looking away from the unbearable beauty of her eyes.

"Yes," she murmured. "He saw something in Emmett's face that made him strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school." She laughed. "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years,again."

"Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another… family, a very different kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

"Really?" I interrupted, fascinated. "But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true. She knows other things. She sees things—things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

Her jaw set when she said that, and her eyes darted to my face and away so quickly that I wasn't sure if I only imagined it.

"What kinds of things does she see?"

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of… your kind?" I was surprised. How many of them could walk among us undetected?

"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people"—a sly glance in my direction—"can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live… differently tend to band together."

"And the others?"

"Nomads, for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?"

We were parked in front of my house now, and she'd turned off the truck. It was very quiet and dark; there was no moon. The porch light was off so I knew my father wasn't home yet.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" she teased. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of night. time over the years."

"So that's where the legends came from?"

"Probably."

"And Alice is from another family, like Jasper?"

"No, and that is a mystery. Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and known that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into a total savage."

There was so much to think through, so much I still wanted to ask. But, to my great embarrassment, my stomach growled. I'd been so intrigued, I hadn't even noticed I was hungry. I realized now that I was starving.

"I'm sorry, I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine, really.

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget."

"I want to stay with you." It was easier to say in the darkness, knowing my face was bright red.

"Can't I come in?" she asked.

"Would you like to?" I couldn't picture it, this beautiful creature sitting in my father's shabby kitchen chair.

"Yes, if it's all right." I heard the door close quietly, and almost simultaneously she was outside my door, opening it for me.

"Very human," I complimented her.

"It's definitely resurfacing."

She walked beside me in the night, so quietly I had to peek at her constantly to be sure she was still there. In the darkness she looked much more normal. Still pale, still dreamlike in her beauty, but no longer the fantastic sparkling creature of our sunlit afternoon.

She reached the door ahead of me and opened it for me. I paused halfway through the frame.

"Did I forget to lock the door this morning?"

"No, I used the key from under the eave."

I stepped inside, flicked on the porch light, and turned to look at her with my eyebrows raised. I was sure I'd never used that key in front of her.

"I was curious about you."

"You spied on me?" My voice was incredulous.

A guilty look crept upon her face. "What else is there to do at night?"

I let it go for now and went down the hall to the kitchen. She was there before me, needing no guide. She sat in the very chair I'd tried to picture her in. Her beauty lit up the kitchen. It was a moment before I could look away.

I concentrated on getting my dinner, taking last night's lasagna from the fridge, placing a square on a plate heating it in the microwave. It revolved, filling the kitchen with the smell of tomatoes and oregano. I didn't take my eyes from the plate of food as I spoke.

"How often?" I asked, keeping my voice even.

"Hmmm?" She sounded as if I had pulled her from some other train of thought.

I still didn't turn around. "How often did you come here?"

"I come here almost every night."

I whirled around, stunned. "Edyth! Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep." That guilty look was back on her face. "You talk." She said sheepishly.

"No!" I gasped, heat flooding my face all the way to my hairline. I gripped the kitchen counter for support. I knew I talked in my sleep, of course; my mother teased me about it. I hadn't thought it was something I needed to worry about here, though.

Her expression grew more chagrined and her voice dropped very low. "Are you very angry with me?"

"Oh, I'm angry. But how angry I am depends." I felt and sounded like I'd had the breath knocked out of me.

She waited.

"On?" she urged.

"What you heard!" I wailed.

Instantly, silently, she was at my side, taking my hands carefully in hers.

"Please don't be upset!" She pleaded. She dropped her face to the level of my eyes, holding my gaze. She was clearly repentant. I tried to look away though.

"You miss your mother," she whispered. "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said. 'it's too green.'" She laughed softly, hoping, I could see, not to offend me further.

"Anything else?" I demanded.

She hung her head. "You did say my name," she admitted.

I sighed in defeat. "A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh, god!" I felt my face flush anew.

She pulled me against her chest, softly, naturally.

"I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't have. Please, don't be self-conscious," she whispered in my ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be of you. And I'm not ashamed of it."

Then we both heard the sound of tires on the brick driveway, saw the headlights flash through the front windows, down the hall to us. I stiffened in her arms.

"Should your father know I'm here?" she asked.

"I'm not sure…" I looked down at her half open shirt, "probably not like this…"

"Another time then…"

And I was alone.

"Edyth!" I hissed.

I heard a ghostly chuckle, then nothing else.

My father's key turned in the door.

"Bella?" he called. It had bothered me before; who else would it be? Suddenly he didn't seem so far off base.

"In here." I hoped he couldn't hear the panicked edge to my voice. I grabbed my dinner from the microwave and sat at the table as he walked in. His footsteps sounded so noisy after my day with Edyth.

"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed." He stepped on the heels of his boots to take them off, holding the back of Edyth's chair for support.

I took my food with me, scarfing it down as I got his dinner. I filled two glasses with water while his lasagna was heating, and gulped mine down quickly. As I set the glass down, I noticed the water trembling and realized my hand was shaking. Charlie sat in the chair, and the contrast between him and its former occupant was comical.

"Thanks," he said as I placed his food on the table.

"How was your day?" I asked. The words were rushed; I was eager to go up to my room.

"Good. The fish were biting… how about you? Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"

"Not really—it was too nice out to stay indoors." I took another big bite.

"It was a nice day," he agreed. What an understatement, I thought to myself.

Finished with the last bite of lasagna, I lifted my glass and chugged the remains of my water.

Charlie surprised me by being observant. "In a hurry?"

"Yeah, I'm tired. I'm going to bed early."

"You look kind of keyed up," he noted. Why, oh why, did this have to be his night to pay attention?

"Do I?" was all I could manage in response. I quickly scrubbed my dishes clean in the sink, and placed them upside down on a dish towel to dry.

"It's Saturday," he mused.

"It is."

"No plans tonight?" he asked suddenly.

"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep."

"So… none of the girls in town your type, eh?" I had to smile a little at Charlie's effort.

"No, none of the girls in town have caught my eye yet." I was careful not to over-emphasize the word girls in my quest to be truthful with Charlie.

"I thought maybe that Makayla Newton… you said she was friendly."

"She's just a friend, Dad." I couldn't help but roll my eyes, "and dating my other friend."

"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking." He tried to sound jovial.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," I agreed as I headed up the stairs.

"Night, honey," he called after me. No doubt he would be listening carefully all evening, waiting for me to try and sneak out.

"See you in the morning, Dad."

I worked to make my tread sound slow and tired as I walked up the stairs to my room. I shut the door loud enough for him to hear, and then sprinted on my tiptoes to the window. I threw it open and leaned out into the night. My eyes scanned darkness, the impenetrable shadows of the trees.

"Edyth?" I whispered, feeling completely idiotic.

The quiet, laughing response came from behind me. "Yes?"

I whirled, one hand flying to my heart in surprise.

She lay, smiling hugely, across my bed, her hands behind her head, her shirt still half open, her feet dangling off the end, the picture of ease.

"You scared me!" I scolded her.

"I'm sorry." She pressed her lips together, trying to hide her amusement.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart."

She sat up slowly, so as not to startle me again. Then she leaned forward and reached out with her long arms to grab mine. She pulled me to her, sitting me on the bed beside her.

"Why don't you sit with me," she suggested, putting a cold hand on my chest. "How's the heart?"

"You tell me—I'm sure you hear it better than I do."

I felt her quiet laughter shake the bed.

We sat there for a moment in silence, both listening to my heartbeat slow. I thought about having Edyth in my room, in my bed, her shirt open a little , and my father was right downstairs.

"Can I have a minute to be human?" I asked.

"Certainly." She gestured with one hand that I should proceed.

"Stay," I said, trying to look severe.

"Yes, madam." And she made a show of becoming a statue on the edge of my bed.

I hopped up, hastily grabbing a clean shirt to sleep in, and a new pair of shorts. I left the light off and slipped out, closing the door.

I could hear the sound from the TV rising up the stairs. I banged the bathroom door loudly, so Charlie wouldn't come up to check on me.

I meant to hurry. I brushed my teeth fiercely, trying to be thorough and speedy, removing all traces of lasagna. But the hot water of the shower couldn't be rushed. It unknotted the muscles in my back, calmed my pulse. The familiar smell of my shampoo made me feel like I might be the same person I had been this morning. I tried not to think of Edyth, sitting in my room, her shirt open to her neck line, in my bed, waiting, because then I had to start all over with the calming process. Finally, I couldn't delay anymore. I shut off the water, toweling quickly, rushing again. I pulled on the shirt and short shorts. Too late to regret not grabbing a pair of sweatpants.

I rubbed the towel through my hair again, then threw the towel in the hamper. I dashed down the stairs so Charlie could see that I was ready for bed, with wet hair.

"Night, Dad."

"Night, Bella." He did look surprised by my appearance. Maybe that would keep him from checking on me tonight.

I took the stairs two at a time, trying to be quiet, and flew into my room, closing the door tightly behind me.

Edyth hadn't moved a fraction of an inch, a carving of Athena perched on my faded quilt. I smiled, and her lips twitched, the statue coming to life.

Her eyes appraised me, taking in the damp hair, the shirt. She glanced down to my lack of pants and she raised her eyebrows.

"Sorry, I can put on a pair of sweatpants." I blushed.

"Is this what you usually wear?" Her voice was low.

"You tell me." I narrowed my eyes at her.

She smiled sheepishly, "You're always wrapped in a blanket." She grinned, mischievously, "But this looks quite good."

"Thanks," I whispered. I went back to her side, sitting cross-legged beside her. I looked at the lines in the wooden floor, trying not to stare at her face or chest.

"What was all that for?"

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out."

"Oh." She contemplated that. "Why?" As if she couldn't know Charlie's mind much more clearly than I could guess.

"Apparently, I look a little overexcited."

She lifted my chin, examining my face.

"Are you?"

"Maybe."

"You look very warm, actually."

She bent her face slowly to mine, laying her cool cheek against my skin. I held perfectly still.

"Mmmmmm…," she breathed.

In was very difficult, while she was touching me, especially in this setting, to frame a coherent question. It took me a minute to regain my concentration.

"It seems to be… much easier for you, now, to be close to me."

"Does it seem that way to you?" she murmured, her nose gliding to the corner of my jaw. I felt her hand gently wrap around my waist, sliding me closer to her. Her lips rested on the hollow beneath my ear.

"Much, much easier," I said, trying to exhale.

"Hmm."

"So I was wondering…," I began again, but her fingers were slowly tracing my collarbone, and I lost my train of thought.

"Yes?" she breathed.

"Why is that," my voice shook, embarrassing me, "do you think?"

I felt the tremor of her breath on my neck as she laughed. "Mind over matter."

I pulled back; as I moved, she froze—and I could no longer hear the sound of her breathing.

We stared cautiously at each other for a moment, and then, as her clenched jaw gradually relaxed, her expression became puzzled.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No—the opposite. You're driving me crazy," I explained.

She considered that briefly, and when she spoke, she sounded pleased. "Really?" A triumphant smile slowly lit her face.

"Would you like a round of applause?" I asked sarcastically.

She grinned.

"I'm just pleasantly surprised," she clarified. "in the last hundred years or so," her voice was teasing, "I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone I wanted to be with… in another way than my brothers and sister. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it… at being with you…"

"You're very good at it," I pointed out.

She shrugged, with a wide grin. We both laughed in whispers

"But how can it be so easy now?" I pressed. "This afternoon…"

"It's not easy," she sighed. "But this afternoon, I was still… undecided. I am sorry about that, it was unforgivable for me to behave so."

"Not unforgivable," I disagreed.

"Thank you." She smiled. "You see," she continued, looking down now, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…" She picked up one of my hands and pressed it lightly to her face. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome"—she breathed in the scent at my wrist—"I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…"

I'd never seen her struggle so hard for words. It was so… human.

"So there's no possibility now?"

"Mind over matter," she repeated, smiling, her teeth bright even in the darkness.

"Well, that was easy," I said.

She threw back her head and laughed, quietly as a whisper, but still exuberantly.

"Easy for you!" she amended, running a finger along my jaw.

And then her face was abruptly serious.

"I'm trying," she whispered, her voice pained. "If it gets to be… too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

"Fairly sure is… good."

"And it will be harder tomorrow," she continued. "I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think."

"Don't go away, then," I responded, unable to hide the longing in my voice.

She looked surprised for a moment, "That suits me," she replied, her face relaxing into a gentle smile. "Bring on the shackles—I'm your prisoner." She held out her wrists to me and I wrapped my hands around them, forming manacles. I fought the nearly overpowering urge to climb on top of her. She laughed her quiet, musical laugh. She'd laughed more tonight that I'd ever heard in all the time I'd spent with her.

"You seem more… optimistic than usual," I observed, trying to distract myself. "I haven't seen you like this before."

"Isn't it supposed to be like this?" She smiled. "The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

"Very different," I agreed. "More forceful than I'd imagined."

"For example"—her words flowed swiftly now, I had to concentrate to catch it all—"the emotion of jealousy. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and movies. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me…" She grimaced. "Do you remember the day that Makayla asked you to the dance?"

I nodded, though I remembered that day for a different reason. "The day you started talking to me again."

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt—I didn't recognize what it was at first. I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused her. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care.

"And then the line started forming," she chuckled. I rolled my eyes in the darkness.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure.

"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew wasright, moral, ethical, and what I wanted.I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you might say yes to Makayla, or someone like her. It made me angry."

"And then," she whispered, "as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly, at first I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more, and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." She was silent for a moment, probably listening to the beating of my heart.

"But jealousy… it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Makayla Newton…" she shook her head angrily.

"I should have known you'd be listening."

"I'm sorry."

"That made you feel jealous, though, really?"

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly," I teased, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Royal—Royal, the incarnation of pure masculine beauty,Royal—was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?"

"There's no competition." Her teeth gleamed. She took my hands and drew them around her back, holding me to her chest. I kept as still as I could, even breathing with caution.

"I know there's no competition," I mumbled into her cold skin. "That's the problem."

"Of course Royal is beautiful in his way, but even if he wasn't like a brother to me, even if Emmett didn't hold his heart, he could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me." She was serious now, thoughtful. "For all these years I've walked among my kind, and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."

"It hardly seems fair," I whispered, my face still resting on her chest, listening to her breath come and go. "I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

"You're right," she agreed with amusement. "I should make this harder for you, definitely." She took both my hands and held them above my head in one of her hands, her other hand traced down my arm to my neck, she gently turned my head to the side and ran her lips along my jaw, whispering softly. "You only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity… what's that worth?"

"I don't feel that deprived, to be honest." I breathed.

"Not yet." And her voice was abruptly full of ancient grief.

I tried to pull back, to look at her face, but her hand locked my wrists in an unbreakable hold. She chuckled softly, continuing to gently rub her lips along my jaw, then down my neck.

"If it's any consolation," my breath shuddered, "You're definitely making things a lot h—"

Her body suddenly became alert. I froze, but she suddenly released my hands, and disappeared. I bolted upright in surprise.

"Lie down!" She hissed. I couldn't tell where she spoke from in the darkness.

I rolled under my quilt, balling up on my side, the way I usually slept. I heard the door crack open, as Charlie peeked in to make sure I was where I was supposed to be. I breathed evenly, exaggerating the movement.

A long minute passed. I listened, not sure if I'd heard the door close. Then Edyth's cool arm was around me, under the covers, her lips at my ear.

"You are a terrible actress—I'd say that career path is out for you."

"Oh damn," I muttered. My heart was still beating wildly.

She hummed a melody I didn't recognize; it sounded like a lullaby.

She paused. "Should I sing you to sleep?"

"Right," I laughed. "Like I could sleep with you here!"

"You do it all the time," she reminded me.

"But I didn't know you were here," I replied icily.

"So if you don't want to sleep…," she suggested, ignoring my tone. My breath caught.

"If I don't want to sleep…?"

She chuckled. "What do you want to do then?"

I couldn't answer at first.

"I'm not sure," I finally said.

"Tell me when you decide."

I could feel her cool breath on my neck, feel her nose sliding along my jaw, inhaling.

"I thought you were desensitized."

"Just because I'm resisting the wine, doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," She whispered. "You have a very beautiful smell, like lavender… or freesia with hints of… vanilla, and orange flower," she noted. "It's mouthwatering."

"Yeah, it's an off day when I don't get somebody telling me how edible I smell."

She chuckled, and then sighed.

"I've decided what I want to do," I told her. "I want to hear more about you."

"Ask me anything."

I sifted through my questions for the most vital. "Why do you do it?" I asked. "I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you…are. Please don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place."

She hesitated before answering. "That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others—the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot—they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn't mean we can't choose to rise above—to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can.."

I lay unmoving, locked in awed silence.

"Did you fall asleep?" she whispered after a few minutes.

"No."

"Is that all you were curious about?"

I rolled my eyes. "Not quite."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Why can you read minds—why only you? And Alice, seeing the future… why does that happen?"

I felt her shrug in the darkness. "We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory… he believes that we bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified—like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?"

"Carlisle brought his compassion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Royal his… tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness," she chuckled. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him—calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd, conversely. It's a very subtle gift."

I considered the impossibilities she described, trying to take it in. She waited patiently while I thought.

"So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on…."

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Didn't the world produce the delicate angelfish and the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale? Couldn't it create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight—I'm the baby seal, right?"

"Right." She laughed, and something touched my hair—her lips?

I wanted to turn toward her, to see if it was really her lips against my hair. But I had to be good; I didn't want to make this any harder for her than it already was.

"Bella?" Her voice was gentle, seductive.

I turned my head and she moved her body slightly on top of mine, one hand on my cheek, the other at my waist. She slowly, gently pressed her lips to mine. My pulse quickened, and I tried to wrap my arms around her neck as slowly as my hormones would allow me. My hands ran through her hair, and I heard a low growl in her throat. I felt myself giving in completely to my urges, and I knew doing so would push Edyth's strength of will too far. I gently pulled myself away, panting softly. I gazed at her face, her eyes were wild and hungry again.

"Did I do something wrong?" even in the dark, I could tell she looked confused, her voice was rough.

"Not at all," I breathed, "I need a minute this time."

She smiled, "Are you ready to sleep?" her voice was more gentle now. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next…," she reminded me. I smiled, euphoric at the thought.

"Are you sure you won't disappear?"

"I won't leave you." Her voice had the seal of a promise in it.

"One more, then, tonight…" and I blushed. The darkness was no help—I'm sure she could feel the sudden warmth under my skin.

"What is it?"

"No, forget it. I changed my mind."

"Bella, you can ask me anything."

I didn't answer, and she groaned.

"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse andworse."

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts. It's bad enough that you eavesdropped on my sleep-talking."

"Please?" Her voice was so persuasive, so impossible to resist.

I shook my head.

"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is," she warned darkly. "Please?" Again, that pleading voice.

"Well," I began, glad that she couldn't see my face.

"Yes?"

"Okay… Umm…" I fidgeted, nervously. "Wow, this isn't easy." I took a deep breath. "Okay, so, you said that Royal and Emmett have been a couple for a long time… right?"

"Yes…" she said slowly.

"They've… gotten married?"

"Yes." She repeated, her voice confused.

"They've… had wedding nights?" I finally got the words out, in the most roundabout way.

She laughed in earnest now, understanding. "are you asking me about sex Bella?"

"Well, I didn't want to just ask in a gross way." I fidgeted.

"Yes, I suppose it's much the same," she said. "I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires."

"So, you never… before you became…" I trailed off.

"No, I didn't. There was never anyone before you." She said, her voice tender and low.

"Oh," I said softly, "good to know."

"Was there a purpose behind your curiosity?"

"Well, I guess I did wonder… about you and me… someday…"

She was instantly serious, I could tell by the sudden stillness of her body. I froze, too, reacting automatically.

"I don't think that… that… would be possible for us."

"Because it would be too… difficult for you, if I were that…. Close?"

"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you're so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident." Her voice had become just a soft murmur. She moved her icy palm to rest it against my cheek. "If I was too hasty… if for one second I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly breakable you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you."

She waited for me to respond, growing anxious when I didn't. "Are you scared?"

I waited for a minute to answer, so the words would be true. "No, I'm fine."

She seemed to deliberate for a moment. "I'm curious now, though." She said, her voice light again. "Have you ever…?" She trailed off suggestively.

"No I haven't." I flushed. "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."

"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."

"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," I sighed.

"That's nice. We have that in common." She sounded satisfied.

"Your human instincts…," I began. She waited. "Well, do you find me attractive, in that way, at all."

She laughed and lightly rumpled my nearly dry hair.

"I may not be a human, but I am a woman," she assured me.

"Oh?"

I could see her grin mischievously in the dark, repining my arms above me, she leaned in and brushed her lips against my ear.

"Believe me." She growled the words seductively. It sent a shiver down my body.

"I do." I practically choked the words out, my heart was beating so fast.

"I'm not sure you do," she purred into my ear. "Shall I tell you all the things I find attractive about you?"

"No, you don't have to." I breathed.

"It was your eyes first. You have beautiful eyes, Bella, like glass and diamonds. Utterly captivating."

"Er, thank you…"

She chuckled softly. "I'm not alone. Nearly everyone noticed your eyes first."

"I think you're making that up."

"Hardly," her lips brushed my ears. "Next was your nose," she raised her hand and touched a cold finger to my nose, "and your chin." Her fingers caught my chin gently. "I could go on and on if you let me."

"You don't have to keep going on." I blushed.

"Mmm…" she breathed into my ear again. "I must tell you, it took me quite by surprise to realize that not only did I find you delicious, but also intelligent, fascinating, and beautiful."

My face was burning. I didn't know if I entirely believed her, but in the moment, she was pretty convincing.

"Oh, and I didn't even mention your hair." Her nose brushed through my hair.

"Now you're just being over the top."

"I'm truly not. Did you know your hair is precisely the same shade as a mahagony inlaid ceiling in a monastery I once stayed at in… I think it would be Cambodia now?"

"Um, no, I did not." I yawned involuntarily.

She grinned, "I've answered your questions, now you should sleep," she insisted.

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?" She released my hands and slowly began to move away.

"No!" I said too loudly, reaching out and hooking my arms around her neck, pulling her back to me.

She laughed, and settled herself next to me, wrapping me in her arms. She began to hum that same, unfamiliar lullaby; the voice of an angel, soft in my ear.

More tired than I realized, exhausted from the long day of mental and emotional stress like I'd never felt before, I drifted to sleep in her cold arms.


	29. mind over matter Edyth pov

Despite crawling along the highway at an agonizing speed—solely for Bella's benefit, not mine—the drive was exhilarating. I felt free and relaxed, driving along the road with my hand on her thigh, her arm around mine. I tried not to stare at her, but I couldn't help it. The golden sunset wasn't even a fraction as beautiful as she was—her ivory face, her red curls blowing in the wind from the open windows, her arm wrapped around mine.

I sang along with the radio as we drove, she watched me, a smile on her face.

"You like fifties music?" She asked.

"Music in the fifties was good. Much better than the sixties, or the seventies, ugh!" I shuddered, recalling how ghastly that entire decade had been—far too opulent and overdone. "The eighties were bearable."

"Are you ever going to tell me how old you are?" She asked tentatively, like she was worried about upsetting me.

"Does it matter much?" I smiled, amused.

"No, but I still wonder…" She shrugged. "There's nothing like an unsolved mystery to keep you up at night."

Didn't I know it.

"I wonder if it will upset you," I said, gazing into the sun. I was unsure if I wanted to answer.

"Try me," She said after a few minutes.

I sighed, and looked into her eyes, trying to find some excuse to avoid the subject, but her eyes were warm and full of patience and understanding. She could handle this, I could see that. I looked back into the setting sun, the light casting light off my skin as I spoke.

"I was born in Chicago in 1901." I paused, glancing at her from the corner of my eyes. Her face was even and patient. I smiled at her understanding and continued. "Carlisle found me in a hospital dying of the Spanish influenza. I was just seventeen, nearly eighteen."

The tiniest intake of breath made me nervous for a moment, I looked down into her eyes again. I couldn't tell what she was thinking, whatever it was her face didn't show anything at all.

"I don't remember it well—it was a very long time ago, and human memories fade." Even with the benefits afforded by being one of my kind, even when first changed, human memories are seen through the veil of humanity. From the moment one of my kind opens their eyes, human memories are already fading into obscurity, only the memories of your new life stay vibrant. "I do remember how it felt, when Carlisle saved me. It's not an easy thing, not something you could forget."

"Your parents?"

"They had already died from the disease. I was alone. That was why he chose me. In all the chaos of the epidemic, no one would ever realize I was gone."

"How did he… save you?"

I didn't want to tell her at first, I didn't want to explain the process—I didn't want it to even be an option. I chose my words carefully. "It was difficult. Not many of us have the restraint to accomplish it. But Carlisle has always been the most humane, the most compassionate of us… I don't think you could find his equal throughout all of history." I paused, considering how much I wanted to share. "For me, it was merely very, very painful."

My jaw set, my lips pressed tight. I hoped she wouldn't ask me for more details… I didn't want to give them. I glanced, quickly at her expression. Her eyes were on fire with curiosity, but I could tell she was doing her best to suppress her questions. I could appreciate her willingness to leave me some secrets… I could give her a few more details. I could tell what the biggest question was, so I answered softly.

"He acted from loneliness. That's usually the reason behind the choice. I was the first in Carlisle's family, though he found Esme soon after. She fell from a cliff. They brought her straight to the hospital morgue, though, somehow, her heart was still beating."

Understanding seemed to light her expression. "So you must be dying, then, to become…" She trailed off, the word hung heavily in the cab of the truck.

"No, that's just Carlisle. He would never do that to someone who had another choice." It was something I always admired about Carlisle; that he would never damn someone to this existence if they had another choice. "It is easier he says, though, if the blood is weak." My eyes followed the long, dark road ahead of us and I was lost in my thoughts.

"And Emmett and Royal?" she asked, quietly.

"Carlisle brought Royal to our family next. I didn't realize till much later that he was hoping he would be to me what Esme was to him—he was careful with his thoughts around me." I rolled my eyes at the memories. "But he was never more than a brother. It was only two years later that Royal found Emmett. Royal was hunting—we were in Appalachia at the time—and found a bear about to finish him off. He carried him back to Carlisle, more than a hundred miles, afraid he wouldn't be able to do it himself. I'm only beginning to guess how difficult that journey was for him." I threw a pointed look at Bella and brushed her cheek with my hand. Knowing now what I knew, experiencing what I had, I had to acknowledge the newfound respect I had for Royal, as much of a brat as he could be.

"But he made it," Bella said, looking away from my eyes.

"Yes," I murmured. "Royal saw something in Emmett's face that made him strong enough. And they've been together ever since. Sometimes they live separately from us, as a married couple. But the younger we pretend to be, the longer we can stay in any given place. Forks seemed perfect, so we all enrolled in high school." I laughed, as a thought came to me. "I suppose we'll have to go to their wedding in a few years,again."

"Alice and Jasper?"

"Alice and Jasper are two very rare creatures. They both developed a conscience, as we refer to it, with no outside guidance. Jasper belonged to another… family, averydifferent kind of family. He became depressed, and he wandered on his own. Alice found him. Like me, she has certain gifts above and beyond the norm for our kind."

"Really?" She interrupted, fascination in her voice. "But you said you were the only one who could hear people's thoughts."

"That's true. She knows other things. She sees things—things that might happen, things that are coming. But it's very subjective. The future isn't set in stone. Things change."

Alice's visions of Bella—the ones I hated, the ones where she was like me—flashed through my mind. My jaw locked, and my eyes flashed to her face for just a moment.

"What kinds of things does she see?" She asked.

"She saw Jasper and knew that he was looking for her before he knew it himself. She saw Carlisle and our family, and they came together to find us. She's most sensitive to non-humans. She always sees, for example when another group of our kind is coming near. And any threat they may pose."

"Are there a lot of…" She paused, shying away from the obvious word. "Your kind?"

"No, not many. But most won't settle in any one place. Only those like us, who've given up hunting you people"—I glanced in her direction with a sly grin—"can live together with humans for any length of time. We've only found one other family like ours, in a small village in Alaska. We lived together for a time, but there were so many of us that we became too noticeable. Those of us who live… differently tend to band together."

"And the others?"

"Nomads for the most part. We've all lived that way at times. It gets tedious, like anything else. But we run across the others now and then, because most of us prefer the North."

"Why is that?"

I pulled up to her house, and cut the ignition of the truck. We sat in the darkness of the moonless night. A quick glance at the dark porch told me that her father hadn't arrived home yet. Good. I had more time with her. I was becoming excessively greedy.

"Did you have your eyes open this afternoon?" I teased. "Do you think I could walk down the street in the sunlight without causing traffic accidents? There's a reason why we chose the Olympic Peninsula, one of the most sunless places in the world. It's nice to be able to go outside in the day. You wouldn't believe how tired you can get of nighttime over the years."

"So that's where the legends came from?" she surmised.

"Probably."

"And Alice is from another family, like Jasper?"

"No, and that is a mystery." One that we had all been trying to solve for years. Alice was content enough with how things were, but a part of her still wondered. She would never tell anyone—even Jasper—how much she wondered about her human life. It was a secret she shared only with me. "Alice doesn't remember her human life at all. And she doesn't know who created her. She awoke alone. Whoever made her walked away, and none of us understand why, or how, he could. If she hadn't had that other sense, if she hadn't seen Jasper and Carlisle and that she would someday become one of us, she probably would have turned into to a total savage."

For all my teasing of her, I admired Alice. I admired her patience and her ability to trust in futures that were as permanent as footprints in the sand. The tide always came in, and those glimmering futures were suddenly washed away. And yet, Alice never faltered.

Bella seemed just as engrossed in her thoughts as I was, then, suddenly, her stomach growled loudly. I had forgotten, again, how often humans needed to eat. I would have to be better at that.

"I'm sorry," I smiled, "I'm keeping you from dinner."

"I'm fine, really." She shifted in her seat, her hand lingering over her stomach.

"I've never spent much time around anyone who eats food. I forget." I apologized.

"I want to stay with you." Her voice was quiet, and even in the darkness, I could easily see the crimson color of her cheeks.

"Can't I come in?" I surprised myself with how forward I was being, but it was too late to take it back and Ididwant to spend more time with her.

"Would you like to?" She sounded doubtful.

"Yes, if it's all right." I said, then I stepped out of the truck and walked around it to open her door for her before my door had finished closing.

She smiled as she slid out of the truck. "Very human," she nodded toward my hand on the door.

"It's definitely resurfacing." Among other human impulses.

She kept glancing at me as we walked toward her front door. There was something strange in her glance, but I couldn't place it. She seemed deep in thought.

I reached the door first, I grabbed the key I had seen her use from its hiding spot under the eave, unlocked the door, and held it open for her. She paused halfway through the frame.

"Did I forget to lock the door this morning?" The confused expression on her face was adorable.

"No, I used the key from under the eave."

She blinked once, then stepped inside. She turned the porch light on and turned back to me with her eyebrows raised. Ah. She was wondering how I knew about the key. She had never used it in front of me. I only knew about it from my secret visits to her house.

There was no point in lying. "I was curious about you," I confessed.

"You spied on me?" Her face and voice were incredulous.

I felt the guilty expression spread across my face. I was losing my ability to conceal my emotions around her! "What else is there to do at night?"

I worried that she would press the conversation further. If she was upset that I knew about the key, she probably wouldn't like that I had been letting myself into her bedroom at night. I was relieved when let out a small sigh and headed toward the small kitchen. I beat her there and sat down in one of the mismatched chairs. She stared at me for a moment before turning to the fridge.

Her eyes stayed locked on whatever it was she pulled out of the fridge. She put a chunk of it on a plate and set it in the microwave, watching it revolve. The kitchen was filled with the sharp smell of herbs and spices. My nose wrinkled slightly in response.

I watched her standing there, wondering how upset she would be if I told her about my nightly visits. I didn't want to think about that, though. Instead, I flipped through what little knowledge I had of human food, wondering if perhaps I could learn to cook for her. She might like that for a change.

"How often?" She suddenly asked, her voice low and even.

"Hmmm?"

She didn't turn to face me. "How often did you come here?"

There was no avoiding it. I had hoped she wouldn't ask, but there was no point in lying or avoiding the question. I would be honest.

"I come here almost every night." I held my breath, waiting anxiously for her response.

She spun around to face me, her face stunned. "Edyth!" Her voice scolded me. "Why?"

"You're interesting when you sleep." I confessed, my guilt apparent on my face. "You talk." I said quietly.

"No!" She gasped, her face turning scarlet. She stumbled back slightly and caught herself on the countertop. Her eyes were wide and angry.

"Are you very angry with me?" It was obvious she was, but I hoped she wasn't too upset.

"Oh, I'm angry. But how angry I am depends…" She was breathless, her tone was livid.

I waited anxiously. I felt terrible. She had every right to be angry, after all. When she didn't finish her sentence, I pressed for more.

"On?" I urged.

"What you heard!" She wailed.

I hurried to her side, taking her warm hands in mine.

"Please don't be upset!" I begged, dropping my face so our eyes were level, trying to hold her gaze. She wouldn't look straight at me, though. So she wasveryupset with me. I should confess everything I had heard.

"You miss your mother," I breathed. "You worry about her. And when it rains, the sound makes you restless. You used to talk about home a lot, but it's less often now. Once you said 'it's too green.'" I chuckled softly, hoping I wasn't upsetting her further.

"Anything else?" She demanded.

I hung my head, I wouldn't be able to charm my way out of this. "You did say my name," I said.

She sighed, sounding defeated. "A lot?"

"How much do you mean by 'a lot,' exactly?"

"Oh, god!" Her face went deep red again.

I pulled her into my, resting her face against my cold chest, feeling terrible.

"I'm so sorry, I know I shouldn't have. Please, don't be self-conscious," I whispered into her ear. "If I could dream at all, it would be of you. And I'm not ashamed of it."

I was so engrossed in her, that I was almost surprised by the sound of tires on the brick driveway. Headlights flashed through the front windows, and she stiffened in my arms, her heart suddenly pounding.

"Should your father know I'm here?" I wondered.

"I'm not sure…" Her eyes lingered on my chest and stomach, "probably not like this…"

"Another time then…" I breathed, and gently pulled myself away, hurrying up the stairs to her bedroom.

"Edyth!" I heard her hiss.

I chuckled in response as I slipped into her bedroom.

I took my usual place on the old rocking chair and listened intently. I could hear the sound of a key in the door before it opened.

"Bella?" Charlie called as he stepped into the entryway. His thoughts were fatigued this evening.

"In here." Bella called back, there was a panicked edge to her voice. Hopefully Charlie was too tired to hear, because Bella was a terrible liar. The microwave door opened, followed by the sound of a plate scraping as it was pulled out. Charlie's footsteps headed toward the kitchen.

"Can you get me some of that? I'm bushed."

Bella didn't respond, but I could hear her fork on her plate amidst sounds of her preparing a second plate for Charlie. Then a cabinet door opening, water being poured into a cup—no, two cups. I chuckled quietly to myself when I heard Bella gulp down one of the glasses, she was too nervous! One of the chairs scraped as someone sat in it, I imagined it was probably Charlie.

"Thanks," Charlie said and I heard the sound of a plate being set on the table.

"How was your day?" Bella asked in a rushed voice. I rolled my eyes. She would need to get better at this.

"Good. The fish were biting…" Charlie did sound pleased. "Did you get everything done that you wanted to?"

"Not really—it was too nice to stay indoors."

"It was a nice day," Charlie agreed, then the tone of his thoughts became slightly suspicious. "In a hurry?"

"Yeah, I'm tired." Bella said. "I'm going to bed early."

"You look kind of keyed up," Charlie was most definitely suspicious.

"Do I?" Bella asked, trying to sound casual or surprised I guessed. She failed, though, and just sounded nervous. I could hear the sound of something being scrubbed under water.

"It's Saturday," Charlie mused.

"It is." Bella agreed.

"No plans tonight?" Charlie asked suddenly.

"No, Dad, I just want to get some sleep."

"So…" Charlie began, "None of the girls in town your type, eh?"

I listened, even more intently, to hear Bella's answer.

"No, none of the girls in town have caught my eye yet." I could hear a hint of a smile in Bella's voice, and she emphasized the word girls in an odd way, but I doubted Charlie caught it.

"I thought maybe that Makayla Newton… you said she was friendly."

I felt a surge of anger hearing the Newton brat's name, coupled with a surge of jealousy and frustration that Charlie considered Newton a worthy match for his beautiful daughter.

"She's just a friend, Dad." Bella said, a tinge of annoyance in her voice that pleased me greatly. "and dating my other friend."

"Well, you're too good for them all, anyway. Wait till you get to college to start looking." Charlie sounded pleased.

"Sounds like a good idea to me," Bella agreed and it sounded like she was heading toward the stairs.

"Night, honey," Charlie called after her, suspicion still in his thoughts.

"See you in the morning, Dad."

Bella was walking in a strangely labored manner up the stairs. I stood, ready to greet her. My hands moved to button my shirt, but I paused. She seemed to enjoy my shirt being a little open, and I was already being forward by inviting myself in, wasn't I? I left my shirt as it was and kicked off my shoes, ready to make myself comfortable.

Bella stepped in the dark room, turning around to loudly close the door. Then, without looking toward the corner where I stood, she sprinted lightly to the window and threw it open, leaning out and scanning the shadows outside. It was amazing how someone so intelligent and observant could miss the ghost white vampire standing in the corner of her room not three feet away from her.

"Edyth?" She whispered into the night.

I decided to have some fun, I silently dashed behind her and sprawled out across her bed, clasping my hands behind my head and letting my feet hang off the end. "Yes?" I chuckled.

she spun around, a hand flying to her suddenly pounding heart.

"You scared me!" She scolded.

"I'm sorry." I had to press my lips together to keep from laughing.

"Just give me a minute to restart my heart." She breathed slowly.

I moved slowly, so I wouldn't startle her again. I sat up and leaned forward so I could reach her arms to pull her onto the bed beside me. She seemed to go slightly limp at my touch, in a relaxed way.

"Why don't you sit with me," I smiled, checking her heart rate with my hand on her chest, "How's the heart?"

"You tell me—I'm sure you hear it better than I do."

She was correct, I could easily hear her heart as it beat erratically against her chest. I chuckled quietly.

We sat for a moment in silence and I listened to her heartbeat calm and slow. After a few minutes her heart sped up again suddenly, and her body seemed to stiffen next to me on the bed.

"Can I have a minute to be human?" she asked, suddenly.

"Certainly." I gestured for her to proceed.

"Stay," she said, a serious expression on her face.

"Yes, Madam." I replied, matching her tone and becoming still as a statue perched on her bed. She observed my stillness for a brief second, then dashed to her dresser and pulled out a few garments before hurrying out of the room.

Her steps were louder than usual as she moved through the house, then I heard a door bang loudly.

I waited, listening intently. The sound of a sink turning on, a sharp smell of chemical mint—toothpaste, perhaps? After several minutes I could hear the sound of a shower turning on. The smell of the shampoo Bella used wafted from the bathroom. If I listened very carefully I could hear Bella's heartbeat, slowing and speeding up then slowing again. It was a beautiful sound. Like nothing else.

I wondered where the night would go from here. This was a different experience for me entirely. Of course, I had been here many times but never when Bella was awake. My thoughts became chagrined when I remembered how upset with me she had been to know I was sneaking in every night.

My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of the water shutting off, and after a moment the bathroom door opening. Bella's clumsy footsteps moved down the stairs.

"Night, Dad." She called.

"Night, Bella." Charlie's voice was even, but the tone of his thoughts were surprised.

Bella's steps bounded back up the stairs—was she taking them two at a time? Her door flew open, and she closed it quickly behind her before turning to look at me. She smiled, and I felt my lips twitch in response.

She smelled especially good, likely the hot water of the shower. Her brown hair was damp and hung in her face, the old shirt she was wearing was thin with a few holes and…

Oh.

I only let myself glance at her lack of pants, not wanting to be rude. I raised my eyebrows in surprise at her choice of undergarments.

"Sorry," her face was crimson, "I can put on a pair of sweatpants."

I felt a strange exhilaration deep in my stomach, not unlike the feeling when I had kissed her before. "Is this what you usually wear?" I asked in a low voice, trying to keep it calm despite my growing excitement.

"You tell me." She said flatly, narrowing her eyes.

I could only smile sheepishly as I was the guilty party, "You're always wrapped in a blanket." I tried to be effusive. The feeling deep inside me was taking over my better judgement—and my urges—and I grinned at her, "But this looks quite good."

"Thanks," she whispered, crossing the room to sit back down at my side. She crossed her legs under herself and her eyes dropped to the floor.

"What was all that for?" I asked.

"Charlie thinks I'm sneaking out."

"Oh." Is that what Charlie was thinking? His thoughts did have an air of suspicion to them before… "Why?"

"Apparently, I look a little overexcited."

I gently lifted her chin so I could examine her face.

"Are you?"

"Maybe," she breathed.

"You look very warm, actually."

I bent my face slowly to hers, laying my cold cheek against her burning skin. She was almost as still as I could be.

I inhaled the warmth of her scent, the heat of skin, "Mmmmmm…," I breathed out slowly.

Her heart was starting to speed up again, and her breathing became strangely irregular. I could feel her jaw flex and relax.

"It seems to be…" she paused, like she couldn't form the words, "much easier for you, now, to be close to me."

"Does it seem that way to you?" I murmured, and I let my nose trace the line of her jaw. I reached my hand out and wrapped it around her waist, pulling her closer to me. I was having a hard time being… good. I pressed my lips to the hollow beneath her ear.

"Much, much easier," she said, breathing in too much without exhaling.

"Hmm." I couldn't form sentences, I was too enthralled by her to speak. I wanted more contact with her.

"So I was wondering…," She began, but stopped short as I began to trace her collarbone with my finger.

I was rather enjoying this. "Yes?" I breathed.

"Why is that," her voice was shaking, and I felt her skin flush with embarrassment, "do you think?"

I chuckled softly, "Mind over matter." I said simply, because it was true.

But then she pulled away from me and I froze. The sudden movement startled me and I stopped breathing, clenching my jaw, worried that I had upset her or scared her.

We stared at each other cautiously, her expression seemed slightly incredulous but there was no fear in her eyes. I was confused.

"Did I do something wrong?"

"No—the opposite. You're driving me crazy," she explained.

I was driving her crazy? Was she really enjoying this as much as I was? "Really?" I smiled, triumphantly pleased with myself.

"Would you like a round of applause?" She asked sarcastically.

I grinned.

"I'm just pleasantly surprised," I said. "In the last hundred years or so," I teased, "I never imagined anything like this. I didn't believe I would ever find someone who I wanted to be with… in another way than my brothers and sister. And then to find, even though it's all new to me, that I'm good at it… at being with you…" I let the sentence trail off, because there were no words to describe my absolute pleasure.

"You're very good at it," She said pointedly.

I shrugged, casually, grinning widely like it was nothing. We both laughed in hushed tones.

I contemplative look passed over her face, then her skeptic eyes met mine. "But how can it be so easy now? This afternoon…" She trailed off.

"It's not easy," I sighed in response. "But this afternoon, I was still…" How could I explain it to her? "Undecided. I am very sorry about that, it was unforgiveable for me to behave so."

"Not unforgivable," she disagreed, no doubt being kind to me.

"Thank you." I smiled at her gesture. "You see," I dropped my eyes from hers as the shame overtook me, "I wasn't sure if I was strong enough…" I took one of her hands in mine and pressed it lightly to my cold face. "And while there was still that possibility that I might be… overcome"—I inhaled the intoxicating scent on her wrist, better than any perfume—"I was… susceptible. Until I made up my mind that I was strong enough, that there was no possibility at all that I would… that I ever could…"

I had never had such difficulty expressing myself before, never had to work so hard to find the words. I wondered what she was thinking of me in this moment.

"So there's no possibility now?" Her voice was soft.

"Mind over matter," I said again, smiling.

"Well, that was easy," she said in a dull monotone.

I couldn't contain the laugh that erupted from my lips, but I managed to modulate the volume to a quiet whisper.

"Easy foryou!" I amended, running my finger along her warm jaw.

But I could not laugh at the darker thoughts that crept into my mind—the self-doubt that shook my confidence.

"I'm trying," I whispered. "If it gets to be… too much, I'm fairly sure I'll be able to leave."

"Fairly sure is… good."

"And it will be harder tomorrow," I continued. "I've had the scent of you in my head all day, and I've grown amazingly desensitized. If I'm away from you for any length of time, I'll have to start over again. Not quite from scratch, though, I think."

"Don't go away, then," she said quickly, a sound of deep longing in her voice.

The passion in her voice caught me by surprise for a moment, but the sentiment in her voice warmed me from the inside, filling me with excitement. "That suits me," I smiled. "Bring on the shackles—I'm your prisoner." I held my wrists out to her and she wrapped her warm, fragile fingers around them. It was humorous, in a way. Her hands were no more effective than glass against stone; wall of fragile glass trying to hold back an avalanche. Yet, I would be held here. Not by her strength, for it was nothing compared to my own, but by the love and adoration I felt for her. That love formed manacles stronger than even me. Nothing could break these bonds.

She stared down her hands around my wrists and bit her bottom lip, a strange tenseness in her body. I laughed at her strange expression, trying to understand the thoughts behind it.

"You seem more… optimistic than usual," she said, seeming distracted. "I haven't seen you like this before."

"Isn't it supposed to be like this?" I smiled. "The glory of first love, and all that. It's incredible, isn't it, the difference between reading about something, seeing it in the pictures, and experiencing it?"

"Very different," she nodded. "More forceful than I'd imagined."

I continued, speaking my thoughts as soon as they came into my mind. "For example, the emotion of jealousy. I've read about it a hundred thousand times, seen actors portray it in a thousand different plays and films. I believed I understood that one pretty clearly. But it shocked me…" A thought that displeased me made me grimace. "Do you remember the day that Makayla asked you to the dance?"

She nodded, a bemused expression on her face. "The day you started talking to me again."

"I was surprised by the flare of resentment, almost fury, that I felt—I didn't recognize what it was at first I was even more aggravated than usual that I couldn't know what you were thinking, why you refused her. Was it simply for your friend's sake? Was there someone else? I knew I had no right to care either way. I tried not to care." I paused, and decided to have a little fun with her, "And then the lines started forming," I chuckled, anticipating her reaction. She didn't disappoint me, rolling her eyes in the darkness.

"I waited, unreasonably anxious to hear what you would say to them, to watch your expressions. I couldn't deny the relief I felt, watching the annoyance on your face. But I couldn't be sure.

"That was the first night I came here. I wrestled all night, while watching you sleep, with the chasm between what I knew was right, moral, ethical, and what I. wanted.I knew that if I continued to ignore you as I should, or if I left for a few years, till you were gone, that someday you might say yes to Makayla, or someone like her. It made me angry."

I watched her face as my voice dropped to a soft whisper, "And then, as you were sleeping, you said my name. You spoke so clearly. At first, I thought you'd woken. But you rolled over restlessly and mumbled my name once more and sighed. The feeling that coursed through me was unnerving, staggering. And I knew I couldn't ignore you any longer." I paused, listening to the rising rhythm of her heart, it was practically hypnotic.

"But jealousy… it's a strange thing. So much more powerful than I would have thought. And irrational! Just now, when Charlie asked you about that vile Makayla Newton…" I shook my head, trying to calm myself down.

"I should have known you'd be listening." She sighed.

"I'm sorry."

"That made you feel jealous, though, really?" She raised an eyebrow at me.

"I'm new at this; you're resurrecting the human in me, and everything feels stronger because it's fresh."

"But honestly," her voice was teasing, "for that to bother you, after I have to hear that Royal—Royal, the incarnation of masculine beauty,Royal—was meant for you. Emmett or no Emmett, how can I compete with that?"

I had to smile at the ridiculous of her words. The utterly absurdity that Royal could hold my attention or heart inanycapacity. I had to remind myself that Bella only knew of Royal's physical beauty, and nothing of the vain, obnoxious brat that lay underneath Royal's entrancing exterior.

"There's no competition." I said simply, taking her hands and drawing them around my body, pressing her into my chest. She stayed unnaturally still for her, her breathing seemed slow and careful.

"I know there's no competition," she mumbled into my chest. "That's the problem."

I rolled my eyes. "Of course, Royal is beautiful in his way, but even if he wasn't like a brother to me, even if Emmett didn't hold his heart, he could never have one tenth, no, one hundredth of the attraction you hold for me." I considered that attraction, the all-encompassing power of it. "For all these years I've walked among my kind, and yours… all the time thinking I was complete in myself, not realizing what I was seeking. And not finding anything, because you weren't alive yet."

"It hardly seems fair," she whispered, her face on my chest. "I haven't had to wait at all. Why should I get off so easily?"

"You're right," I agreed, amused by her observation. "I should make this harder for you, definitely." I quickly took both her hands in one of mine and held them above her head, my other hand gently traced down her arm to her neck, gently turning her head to the side so I could run my lips along her jaw. I breathed against her hot skin, "you only have to risk your life every second you spend with me, that's surely not much. You only have to turn your back on nature, on humanity… what's that worth?"

"I don't feel that deprived, to be honest." She exhaled the words.

Her blood was coursing through her veins, her body heat rising. Her breathing becoming more labored as her heart started racing, though she was sitting perfectly still. It all reminded me of how human she was. How much she could lose, how much she would be giving up, all to be with me. How was it fair? It wasn't. She would regret it all one day, I could be sure of that. I knew the ache of missing humanity, perhaps better than anyone else in my family, because I could see the results of that loss in them, in every one of our kind we had met. Bella would regret it one day, she would miss it, and she would resent me for it. She didn't feel deprived?

"Not yet." I said, sadly. More to myself, than to her.

She tried to pull her hands free of mine, but her strength was no match for mine. I grinned and chuckled softly as I continued to run my lips across her tensed jaw, then down her neck.

"If it's any consolation," she said in a shuddering breath, "You're definitely making things a lot h—"

The sound of footsteps on the stairs caused me to freeze. I would have to pay better attention, I couldn't hear Charlie's thoughts, so I hadn't realized he had decided to come check on Bella—but listening now, I could hear the tone of suspicion mingled with curiosity surrounding Bella in his mind. Bella became very still in my arms and I released her hands and disappeared into the darkest corner of her room. She sat straight up in her bed, surprise obvious on her face.

"Lie down!" I hissed from the corner.

She rolled onto her side, pulling her worn quilt around her just in time as the door of her room cracked open. Charlie quietly peeked into the room, looking to see if Bella was, in fact, in bed like she said she would be. Bella made an exaggerated show of breathing slowly and evenly, I imagined she believed she looked like she was asleep, I held my breath so as not to chuckle. Only I could hear the loud thumping of Bella's erratic heartbeat that proved she was awake.

Charlie watched her for a minute, before quietly closing the door and heading back downstairs. Bella stayed perfectly still, until I gently slid into the bed next to her, wrapping my arm around her under the quilt. I pressed my lips to her ear.

"You are a terrible actress—I'd say that career path is out for you."

"Oh damn," she muttered, her heart still wild in her chest.

I hummed the lullaby I had composed for her quietly in her ear, trying to calm her down. I paused after a moment, wondering if she'd even appreciate the gesture. "Should I sing you to sleep?"

"Right," she laughed. "Like I could sleep with you here!"

"You do it all the time," I replied.

"But I didn't know you were here," she said with a sharp iciness to her tone.

I ignored her tone, trying to distract her from her frustration. "So if you don't want to sleep…," I trailed off, suggestively. Her breath caught.

"If I don't want to sleep…?" She repeated.

I chuckled. "What do you want to do then?"

She didn't answer, I wondered what she was contemplating.

"I'm not sure," she said finally.

"Tell me when you decide." I breathed against her neck, running my nose along her jaw, inhaling her scent.

"I thought you were desensitized."

"Just because I'm resisting the wine, doesn't mean I can't appreciate the bouquet," I whispered. "You have a very beautiful smell," I clumsily tried to explain the different notes and subtleties of her scent, "Like lavender… or freesia with hints of…" I inhaled again, "vanilla, and orange flower," I sighed. "It's mouthwatering."

"Yeah, it's an off day when I don't get somebody telling me how edible I smell."

I chuckled at her disinterested monotone, then I sighed, chagrined by how casually she could say something like that.

"I've decided what I want to do," she said. "I want to hear more about you."

"Ask me anything."

She was silent for only a moment. "Why do you do it?" she asked. "I still don't understand how you can work so hard to resist what you…are. Please don't misunderstand, of course I'm glad that you do. I just don't see why you would bother in the first place."

It was such a complicated question. Such a heavy question, but not an unfamiliar question. I considered the best way to answer her. "That's a good question, and you are not the first one to ask it. The others—the majority of our kind who are quite content with our lot—they, too, wonder at how we live. But you see, just because we've been… dealt a certain hand… it doesn't mean we can't choose to rise above—to conquer the boundaries of a destiny that none of us wanted. To try to retain whatever essential humanity we can…"

She was completely still, her breathing slow and even.

"Did you fall asleep?" I whispered after a few minutes.

"No."

"Is that all you were curious about?"

She rolled her eyes. "Not quite."

"What else do you want to know?"

"Why can you read minds—why only you? And Alice, seeing the future… why does that happen?"

I shrugged, not having a proper answer for her. "We don't really know. Carlisle has a theory… he believes that we bring something of our strongest human traits with us into the next life, where they are intensified—like our minds, and our senses. He thinks that I must have already been very sensitive to the thoughts of those around me. And that Alice had some precognition, wherever she was."

"What did he bring into the next life, and the others?"

"Carlisle brought his compassion. Esme brought her ability to love passionately. Emmett brought his strength, Royal his…" I struggled for a kind way to phrase what I wanted to say. "Tenacity. Or you could call it pigheadedness," I chuckled. "Jasper is very interesting. He was quite charismatic in his first life, able to influence those around him to see things his way. Now he is able to manipulate the emotions of those around him—calm down a room of angry people, for example, or excite a lethargic crowd. It's a very subtle gift."

I waited for her to speak again, but she was quiet, her eyes gazing off into her room focusing on nothing.

"So where did it all start? I mean, Carlisle changed you, and then someone must have changed him, and so on…."

"Well, where did you come from? Evolution? Creation? Couldn't we have evolved in the same way as other species, predator and prey? Didn't the world produce both the angelfish and the shark, the baby seal and the killer whale? Couldn't it create both our kinds together?"

"Let me get this straight—I'm the baby seal, right?"

"Right." I laughed, pressing my lips to her soft hair.

Her head twitched slightly, like she wanted to turn to face me but changed her mind. I didn't like that. I wanted her to face me, I wanted… I wanted more than for her to face me. I prepared myself, flexed my self-control.

"Bella?"

She turned her head and I agilely moved my body slightly on top of hers, careful not to crush her under me. One of my hands moved to her cheek and the other rested at her waist. I could do this again. I tried to keep my movement slow and controlled as I leaned forward and pressed my cold lips to her warm, soft lips. Her pulse instantly quickened, and her arms wrapped around my neck with halting excitement. She ran her hands through my hair, catching strands between her fingers and it triggered some deep, animalistic urge inside of me; a low growl of pleasure escaped my throat. Bella was becoming more relaxed, more urgent, and I was matching her. Suddenly, she pulled herself away from me, panting softly. She gazed up at me, her eyes wide and hungry. I could see the reflection of my own, frenzied, hungry expression in the silvery pool of her gaze.

"Did I do something wrong?" I asked, confused, my voice husky.

"Not at all," she breathed, "I need a minute this time."

I smiled, "Are you ready to sleep?" I worked to calm myself down. "Or do you have any more questions?"

"Only a million or two."

"We have tomorrow, and the next day, and the next….," I offered and she smiled euphorically at my words.

"Are you sure you won't disappear?"

"I won't leave you." It was a vow, a promise. Nothing could force me away from this girl.

"One more, then, tonight…" she blushed, the heat radiating off her skin.

"What is it?"

"No, forget it. I changed my mind."

"Bella you can ask me anything."

But she didn't answer, and I felt that familiar swell of frustration, intensified by her sudden quiet.

"I keep thinking it will get less frustrating, not hearing your thoughts. But it just gets worse and worse."

"I'm glad you can't read my thoughts." She retorted. "It's bad enough that you eavesdropped on my sleep-talking."

"Please?" I begged, using my most persuasive voice.

But she shook her head.

"If you don't tell me, I'll just assume it's something much worse than it is," I warned. "Please?" I pleaded.

"Well," she began, tentatively.

"Yes?"

"Okay… Umm…" She fidgeted, nervously. Her pulse was quickening. "Wow, this isn't easy." She took a deep breath. "Okay, so, you said that Royal and Emmett have been a couple for a long time… right?"

"Yes…" I said slowly, confused.

"They've… gotten married?"

"Yes." I repeated, still utterly lost by her train of thought.

"They've…" she struggled for another moment with her words. "Had wedding nights?" she finally asked, and the sudden understanding made me laugh.

"are you asking me about sex Bella?"

"Well, I didn't want to just ask in a gross way." She shifted.

"Yes, I suppose it's much the same. I told you, most of those human desires are there, just hidden behind more powerful desires."

"So, you never… before you became…" she trailed off, blushing furiously.

"No, I didn't. There was never anyone before you." I told her honestly, tenderly.

"Oh," was her soft reply, "good to know."

"Was there a purpose behind your curiosity?" I knew there was, I knew her well enough by now to know that.

"Well, I guess I did wonder… about you and me… someday…"

My body tensed, I froze. My mind raced at the thought. I had considered it once before, when speaking with Emmett. I knew it was, theoretically, possible. But how could I risk it? How could I be so irresponsible as to risk her very life for pleasure? That would be despicable of me.

"I don't think that… that… would be possible for us."

"Because it would be too… difficult for you, if I were that… Close?"

"That's certainly a problem. But that's not what I was thinking of. It's just that you're so soft, so fragile. I have to mind my actions every moment that we're together so that I don't hurt you. I could kill you quite easily, Bella, simply by accident." I spoke softly, moving my palm to her hot cheek. "If I was too hasty… if for one second I wasn't paying enough attention, I could reach out, meaning to touch your face, and crush your skull by mistake. You don't realize how incredibly breakable you are. I can never, never afford to lose any kind of control when I'm with you."

And my control was always at risk when we were any sort of… intimate. Even a simple kiss, I was fighting to keep myself in control. I couldn't imagine—couldn't fathom—how I could possibly keep my control if we were anymore…I had to calm myself down.

"Are you scared?" I asked anxiously when she didn't respond.

She seemed to consider the question for a moment. Then, when her heartbeat had slowed again, she spoke, "No, I'm fine."

As relieved as I was to hear her words, a gnawing curiosity ate away at me. "I'm curious now, though. Have you ever…?" I trailed off, feeling uneasy about saying the words.

"No I haven't." she flushed scarlet. "I told you I've never felt like this about anyone before, not even close."

"I know. It's just that I know other people's thoughts. I know love and lust don't always keep the same company."

"They do for me. Now, anyway, that they exist for me at all," she sighed.

"That's nice. We have that in common." I was unable to hide my profound satisfaction.

"Your human instincts…," she began. I waited, barely breathing. She continued. "Well, do you find me attractive, in that way, at all?"

I laughed, tousling her nearly dry hair.

"I may not be a human, but I am a woman," I assured her.

"Oh?"

I grinned wickedly, repining her arms above her, leaning in and brushing my lips against her ear, her heart began to race.

"Believe me." I growled the words into her ear and a shiver ran down her body.

"I do." The words came out strangled, her heart still beating against her chest.

"I'm not sure you do," I pressed my lips against her ear. "Shall I tell you all the things I find attractive about you?"

"No, you don't have to." She breathed.

I decided I would tell her anyway. After all, any chance I had to extoll on her subtle perfections…

"It was your eyes first. You have beautiful eyes, Bella, like Glass and diamonds. Utterly captivating."

"Er, thank you…"

I chuckled softly. "I'm not alone. Nearly everyone noticed your eyes first."

"I think you're making that up." She argued.

"Hardly," I brushed my lips against her ear. "Next was your nose," I raised my hand and gently touched the tip of her perfect nose, "and your chin." I caught her chin between my finger and thumb. "I could go on and on if you let me."

"You don't have to keep going on." She blushed.

"Mmm…" I breathed into her ear again. "I must tell you, it took me quite by surprise to realize that not only did I find you delicious, but also intelligent, fascinating, and beautiful."

I thought again of that reckless angel that had formed Bella. The subtle perfection with which she was formed. I would forever begrudge that angel for thrusting Bella into such danger and be forever grateful to that angel for Bella's creation in the first place.

Her face burned in the darkness, I enjoyed the sensation as the heat radiated from her and warmed my own cold skin.

"Oh, and I didn't even mention your hair." My nose brushed through her hair, inhaling the scent.

"Now you're just being over the top."

"I'm truly not. Did you know that your hair is precisely the same shade as a mahogany inlaid ceiling in a monastery I once stayed at in… I think it would be Cambodia now?"

"Um, no, I did not." A yawn escaped her lips.

I grinned, "I've answered your questions, now you should sleep."

"I'm not sure if I can."

"Do you want me to leave?" I offered, releasing her hands and slowly pulling myself away from her. It tortured me to even consider leaving, but if it was what was best for her… I would force myself to do anything that was best for her.

"No!" She said too loudly, reaching out and hooking her arms around my neck, pulling me back into her.

I laughed, and all too happily settled back next to her, wrapping her in my arms. I began softly humming her lullaby again.

After a moment, she relaxed completely, and before long she drifted off to sleep in my cold arms.


	30. the cullens Bella pov

**hey guys i wanted to thank the reviewer who pointed out the typo in the last chapter its fixed now but i guess that's what happens when you use your phone to type autocorrect sucks and my computer is fixed now so shouldn't have that problem again. thank you so much and please let me know if there's anymore errors in anymore chapters**

The muted light of yet another cloudy day eventually woke me. I lay with my arm across my eyes, groggy and dazed. Something, a dream trying to be remembered, struggled to break into my consciousness. I moaned and rolled on my side, hoping more sleep would come. And then the previous day flooded back into my memory.

"Oh!" I sat up so fast it made my head spin.

"Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it." Her unruffled voice came from the rocking chair in the corner.

I ran my hands through my hair in a feeble attempt to tame the curls.

"You stayed." It was like I hadn't woken up after all.

"Of course. That's what you wanted, correct?"

I nodded.

She smiled, widely. "It's what I wanted too."

I staggered out of bed towards her; she grinned as she took hold of my hands and pulled me into her lap. I laid my head cautiously against her shoulder, breathing in the smell of her skin.

"I was almost sure it was a dream."

"You're not that creative," she scoffed.

"Charlie!" I remembered, jumping up and heading to the door.

"He left an hour ago, with an amazing amount of gear."

I deliberated where I stood, wanting to return to her badly, but afraid I might have morning breath.

"You're not usually this confused in the morning," She noted.

I glared at her, "I'm still not sure I'm okay with the fact that you know that."

She smiled that guilty smile of hers, and held her arms open for me to return; a vision of repentance.

"I need another human minute," I admitted.

"I'll wait."

I rushed to the bathroom, my emotions all over the place. I felt like I didn't know myself, inside or out. The face in the mirror was practically a stranger—eyes too bright, hectic spots of red across my cheekbones. After I brushed my teeth I worked to tame the chaos that was my hair. I splashed my face with cold water, and tried to take a few deep breaths. I hurried back to my room.

It still seemed like a dream that she was there, her arms still waiting for me. She reached out to me, and my heartbeat quickened.

"Welcome back," she purred, taking me into her arms.

She held me there for a while in silence, until I noticed that her clothes were changed, and her hair smooth.

"You left?" I touched the collar of her fresh shirt.

"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in—what would the neighbors think?"

"I didn't even notice you go."

"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything." Her eyes gleamed. "The talking came earlier."

I groaned. I had invited her to stay this time, so this was my own fault. "What did you hear?"

Her gold eyes grew very soft, her face looked very vulnerable. "You said you loved me."

I blushed. "Maybe I do." I ducked my head. "Besides, you knew that already."

"It was nice to hear, just the same."

I looked her in the eyes and ran my hands through her bronze hair.

"I love you," I whispered.

"You are my life now," she answered simply.

She leaned forward and rested her forehead carefully against mine and we sat there, saying nothing, as the morning light slowly filled the room.

"Breakfast time," she said eventually, slowly leaning back.

I threw my hand over my jugular, my eyes wild.

She flinched; then her eyes narrowed and she scowled at me.

I laughed. "Come on, you know that was funny."

She was still frowning. "I disagree. Shall I rephrase? Breakfast time for the human."

"Okay. I need one more human minute first, if you don't mind."

"Of course."

"Stay."

"Oh, yes, Madam." She smiled.

I brushed my teeth again, and then rushed through my shower. I ripped through my wet hair with a brush, trying to make it look presentable. It ignored me pretty thoroughly. And then I hit a wall. I'd forgotten to bring clothes with me.

I hesitated for a minute, but I was too impatient to panic long. There was no help for it. I tucked the towel securely around my waist and then marched into the hall with my face bright red. I stood hesitantly in the doorway.

"Um…"

She was still in the rocking chair. She raised her eyebrows at my state of undress.

"I… Er…" She looked conflicted, "Shall we meet in the kitchen, then?"

"If you don't mind."

I was sure she muttered something that sounded like "The death of me…" before she rose to her feet. She passed me in a rush of cool air, down the stairs before a second had passed. I was barely able to follow the motion—she was just a streak of pale color, then nothing.

"Thanks," I called after her, then hurried to my dresser.

I decided to wear my nice fitted jeans and the blue shirt Edyth had complimented before. I also grabbed a sweater, so she wouldn't worry about me getting cold.

I raked my fingers through my hair to calm it again, then ran down the stairs.

She was leaning against the counter, looking very at home.

"What's for breakfast?" I asked.

That threw her for a minute. Her brows furrowed. "I'm not sure… What would you like?"

I laughed. "That's all right, I fend for myself pretty well. You're allowed to watch me hunt."

I got a bowl and a box of cereal. She returned to the chair she'd sat in last night, watching as I poured the milk and grabbed a spoon. I set my food on the table, then paused. The empty space in front of her on the table made me feel rude.

"Um, can I… get you anything?"

She rolled her eyes. "Just eat, Bella."

I sat at the table, watching her as I took a bite. She was gazing at me, studying my every movement. It made me self-conscious. I swallowed so I could speak, wanting to distract her.

"Anything on the agenda today?"

"Perhaps," she said. "That depends on whether or not you like my idea."

"I'm sure I'll like it," I offered as I took a second bite.

She pursed her lips. "Are you open to meeting my family?"

I choked on my cereal.

She jumped up, one hand stretched toward me helplessly, probably thinking about how she could accidentally crush my lungs if she tried to give me the Heimlich. I shook my head and motioned for her to sit while I coughed the milk out of my windpipe.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," I said when I could speak.

"Please don't do that to me again, Bella."

"Work on your timing." I countered.

"Perhaps we should have this conversation after your meal."

"Okay." I needed a minute anyway.

She was apparently serious. And I guess I'd already met Alice and it hadn't been that bad. And Dr. Cullen, too. But that had been back before I'd known Dr. Cullen was a vampire, which changed things. And while I had known with Alice, I didn't know if she knew that I knew, and that felt like kind of an important distinction to me. Also, Alice was the most supportive, according to Edyth.

There were others who were obviously not as generous.

"I've finally done it," she murmured when I swallowed the last bite and pushed the bowl away.

"What did you do?"

"I scared you."

I shrugged, "I suppose you did."

"I wouldn't let anyone hurt you," she assured me.

But that just made me worry more that someone—Royal—would want to, and Edyth would get in between to rescue me.

"No one would try, Bella, that was a joke."

"I just don't want to cause any problems. Do they even know that I know?"

She rolled her eyes. "Oh, they're quite up to date. It's not really possible keep secrets in my family, what with our various parlor tricks. Alice had already seen that your dropping by was a possibility."

I could feel a variety of expressions rippling across my face before I could control it. What all did Alice see? Yesterday… last night… My face got hot.

I saw her eyes narrow the way they did when she was trying to read my mind.

"Just thinking about what Alice might have seen," I explained before she could ask.

She nodded. "It can feel invasive. But she doesn't do it on purpose. And she sees so many different possibilities… She doesn't know which will happen. For example, she saw over a hundred different ways that yesterday could have gone, and you only survived about seventy-five percent of the scenarios." Her voice got very hard at the last part, her posture tense. "They'd taken bets, you know, as to whether or not I would kill you."

"Oh."

Her expression was still rigid. "Do you want to know who sided for and against?"

"Um, maybe not. Tell me after I meet them. I don't want to go into this prejudiced."

Surprised erased the anger from her face. "Oh, you'll go then?"

"Oh, why not." I threw up my hands. "It's traditional, isn't it?"

She laughed, a long, bell-like peal. I couldn't help but smile.

"If we're being traditional," She asked eagerly, "does that mean I get to meet Charlie,too?"

"He already knows you," I reminded her.

"As your girlfriend, I mean."

"Is that what you are?" I smiled.

"Of course." She seemed confused. "Is it a question?"

"I suppose we've never said the words."

She laughed, "I'm your girlfriend," she said and I could almost hear an edge of excitement in her voice, "And I would like to meet your father."

"Well, okay." I said finally. "You'll have to cut me some slack though, I've never introduced a girl to my dad and we just sort of opened up the conversation about girls and me being gay. So I want to ease him into it."

"It's a loose interpretation of the word 'girl,' I'll admit." She reached across the table and ran a finger down my jaw, "but we'll spare him all the gory details." She smiled at me, lifting my chin with her finger. "He will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't want Chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me."

"Will you be here that much?" I asked, eagerly.

"As much as you want me," she assured me.

"I want you a lot." I said softly.

She grinned and rose swiftly, "Are you ready to go?"

"Sure, do I look decent?" I asked, standing and moving towards the door.

She grabbed me by my waist and pulled me close to her.

"Decent?" she murmured in my ear. "You are utterly indecent—no one should look so tempting, it's not fair."

"Tempting?" I asked, "I can change…"

"I wouldn't dream of it." She purred. She pressed her cool lips to my forehead, her sweet-smelling breath causing my head to spin. "Shall I explain how you are tempting me?"

Her fingers traced slowly down my spine, her breath coming more quickly against my skin. My hands were limp on her chest, and I felt lightheaded and giddy. She tilted her head slowly and touched her cool lips to mine, very carefully, parting them slightly. I couldn't stop myself from grabbing handfuls of her shirt, her grip on my waist tightened and I felt us stepping backwards until my back was against a wall. Edyth growled seductively and her lips moved from my lips, along my jaw, and down my neck. My breath quickened and I felt an electric shiver run through my body.

"Okay, okay," I gasped. "We need to stop."

"Why?" She groaned into my neck, her voice disappointed.

"Because if you keep doing that I'm not going to be able to stop myself from jumping you."

She reluctantly pulled away, grinning widely. "Perhaps that wouldn't be the worst thing…"

"Don't tempt me." I groaned.

She smiled at me, looking me over. "I'm very partial to that color with your skin," she offered unexpectedly. I flushed even redder than I already was.

"We need to get going, or we're never going to leave." I said, breathlessly.

"You're starting to look worried." She noted, softly.

"I am."

"Not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?"

"That's right." I answered immediately, hiding my surprise at her casual use of the word.

She shook her head. "You're incredible."

I realized, as she drove my truck out of the main part of town, that I had no idea where she lived. We passed over the bridge at the Calawah River, the road winding northward, the houses flashing past us growing farther apart, getting bigger. And then we were past the other houses altogether, driving through misty forest. I was trying to decide whether to ask or be patient, when she turned abruptly onto an unpaved road. It was unmarked, barely visible among the ferns. The forest encroached on both sides, leaving the road ahead only discernible for a few meters as it twisted, serpent like, around the ancient trees.

And then, after a few miles, there was some thinning of the woods, and we were suddenly in a small meadow, or was it actually a lawn? The gloom of the forest didn't relent, though, for there were six primordial cedars that shaded an entire acre with their vast sweep of branches. The trees held their protecting shadow right up to the walls of the house that rose among them, making obsolete the deep porch that wrapped around the first story.

I don't know what I had expected, but it definitely wasn't this. The house was timeless, graceful, and probably a hundred years old. It was painted a soft, faded white, three stories tall, rectangular and well proportioned. The windows and doors were either part of the original structure or a perfect restoration. My truck was the only car in sight. I could hear the river close by, hidden in the obscurity of the forest.

"Wow."

"You like it?" she smiled.

"It… has a certain charm."

She leaned over and gently kissed my neck. Suddenly, she was out of the car and opening my door before I had even blushed.

"Ready?" She asked, smiling.

"Not even a little bit—let's go." I laughed nervously as my nerves started to get the best of me.

"You look fantastic." She took my hand easily, without thinking about it.

We walked through the deep shade up to the porch. I knew she could feel my mounting tension; her thumb rubbed soothing circles into the back of my hand.

She opened the door for me.

The inside was even more surprising, less predictable, than the exterior. It was very bright, very open, and very large. This must have originally been several rooms, but the walls had been removed from most of the first floor to create one wide space. The back, south-facing wall had been entirely replaced with glass, and, beyond the shade of the cedars, the lawn stretched bare to the wide river. A massive curving staircase dominated the west side of the room. The walls, the high beamed ceiling, the wooden floors, and the thick carpets were all varying shades of white.

Waiting to greet us, standing just to the left of the door, on a raised portion of the floor by a spectacular grand piano, were Edyth's parents.

I'd seen Dr. Cullen before, of course, yet I couldn't help but be struck again by his youth, his outrageous perfection. At his side was Esme, I assumed, the only one of the family I'd never seen before. She had the same pale, beautiful features as the rest of them. Something about her heart-shaped face, her billows of soft, caramel-colored hair, reminded me of the ingénues of the silent-movie era. She was small, slender, yet less angular, more rounded than the others. They were both dressed casually, in light colors that matched the inside of the house. Their smile were welcoming, but they made no move to approach us. Trying not to frighten me, I guessed.

"Carlisle, Esme," Edyth's voice broke the short silence, "this is Bella."

"You're very welcome, Bella." Carlisle's step was measured, careful as he approached me. He raised his hand tentatively, and I stepped forward to shake hands with him.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle." I grinned at him, my sudden confidence surprising me. I could feel Edyth's relief at my side.

Esme smiled and stepped forward as well, reaching for my hand. Her cold, stone grasp was just as I expected.

"It's very nice to know you," she said sincerely.

"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." And I was. It was like meeting a fairy tale—Snow White, in the flesh.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" Edyth asked, but no one answered, as they had just appeared at the top of the wide staircase.

"Hey, Edyth!" Alice called enthusiastically. She ran down the stairs, a streak of black hair and white skin, coming to a sudden and graceful stop in front of me. Carlisle and Esme shot warning glances at her, but I liked it. It was natural—for her, anyway.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice said, and she bounced forward to kiss my cheek. If Carlisle and Esme had looked cautious before, they now looked staggered. There was surprise in my eyes, too, but I was also very pleased that she seemed to approve of me so entirely. I was startled to feel Edyth stiffen at my side. I glanced at her face, but her expression was unreadable.

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," she commented, to my embarrassment.

No one else seemed to know quite what to say, and then Jasper was there—tall and leonine. A feeling of ease spread through me, and I was suddenly comfortable despite where I was. Edyth stared at Jasper, raising one eyebrow, and I remembered what Jasper could do.

"Hello, Bella." Jasper said. He kept his distance, not offering to shake my hand. But it was impossible to feel awkward near him.

"Hello, Jasper." I smiled at him shyly, and then at the others. "It's nice to meet you all—you have a very beautiful home," I added conventionally.

"Thank you," Esme said. "We're so glad that you came." She spoke with feeling, and I realized that she thought I was brave.

I also realized that Royal and Emmett were nowhere to be seen, and I remembered Edyth's too-innocent denial when I'd asked her if the others didn't like me.

Carlisle's expression distracted me from this train of thought; he was gazing meaningfully at Edyth with an intense expression. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Edyth nod once.

I looked away, trying to be polite. My eyes wandered again to the beautiful instrument on the platform by the door. I suddenly remembered my childhood fantasy that, should I ever win a lottery, I would buy a grand piano for my mother. She wasn't really good—she only played for herself on our secondhand upright—but I loved to watch her play. She was happy, absorbed—she seemed like a new, mysterious being to me then, someone outside the "mom" persona I took for granted. She put me through lessons, of course, but I didn't remember much.

Esme noticed my preoccupation.

"Do you play?" she asked, inclining her head toward the piano.

I shook my head. "Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is it yours?"

"No," she laughed. "Edyth didn't tell you she was musical?"

"No." I glared at her suddenly innocent expression with narrowed eyes. "I should have known, I guess."

Esme raised her delicate eyebrows in confusion.

"Is there anything she's not good at?" I asked rhetorically.

Jasper snickered, Alice rolled her eyes, and Esme gave Edyth a reproving look.

"I hope you haven't been showing off—it's rude," she scolded.

"Just a bit," she laughed freely. Her face softened at the sound, and they shared a brief look that I didn't understand, though Esme's face seemed almost smug.

"She's been too modest, actually." I corrected.

"Well, play for her," Esme encouraged.

"You just said showing off was rude," she objected.

"There are exceptions to every rule," she replied. She smiled at me. "I'm being selfish. She doesn't play enough, and I love to hear her."

"I'd like to hear you play," I told Edyth.

"It's settled then." Esme pushed her toward the piano. She pulled me along, sitting me on the bench beside her.

She gave me a long, exasperated look before she turned to the keys.

And then her fingers flowed swiftly across the ivory, and the room was filled with a composition so complex, so luxuriant, it was impossible to believe only one set of hands played it. I felt my chin drop, my mouth open in astonishment, and heard low chuckles behind me at my reaction.

Edyth looked at me casually, the music still surging around us without a break, and winked. "Do you like it?"

"Did you write this?" I asked, understanding.

She nodded. "It's Esme's favorite."

"It's beautiful." I murmured softly, entranced by the sound.

Edyth smiled. The music slowed, transforming into something softer, and to my surprise I detected the melody of her lullaby weaving through the profusion of notes.

"You inspired this one," she said softly. "This is your song." The music grew unbearably sweet.

I couldn't speak.

"They like you, you know," she said conversationally. "Esme, especially."

I glanced behind me, but the huge room was empty now.

"Where did they go?"

"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose."

I sighed. "They like me. But Royal and Emmett…" I trailed off, not sure how to express my doubts.

She frowned. "Don't worry about Royal," she said, her eyes wide and persuasive. "He'll come around."

I pursed my lips skeptically. "Emmett?"

"Well, he thinks I'm a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Royal."

"What is it that upset Royal?" I wasn't sure I wanted to know the answer.

She sighed deeply. "Royal struggles the most with… with what we are. It's hard for him to have someone on the outside know the truth. And he's a little jealous."

"Royalis jealous of me?" I asked, utterly perplexed.

"You're human." She shrugged. "He wishes that he were, too."

"Oh," I muttered, a little stunned. "Even Jasper, though…"

"That's really my fault," she said. "I told you he was the most recent to our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance."

I thought about the reason for that, and shuddered.

"Esme and Carlisle…?" I continued quickly, to keep her from noticing.

"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. All this time she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential makeup, that I was too young when Carlisle changed me…. She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."

"Alice seems very… enthusiastic."

"Alice has her own way of looking at things," she said through tight lips.

"And you're not going to explain that, are you?"

A moment of wordless communication passed between us. She realized that I knew she was keeping something from me. I realized that she wasn't going to give anything away. Not now.

"So what was Carlisle telling you before?"

Her eyebrows furrowed. "You noticed that, did you?"

I shrugged. "Give me some credit."

She looked at me thoughtfully for a few seconds before answering.

"He wanted to tell me some news—he didn't know if it was something I would share with you."

"Will you?"

"I have to, because I'm going to be a little… overbearingly protective over the next few days—or weeks—and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just seems some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're curious."

"Visitors?"

"Yes… well, they aren't like us, of course—in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone."

I shivered.

"Finally, a rational response!" she murmured. "I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all."

I let that one pass, looking away, my eyes wandering again around the spacious room.

She followed my gaze. "Not what you expected, is it?" she asked, her voice smug.

"No," I admitted.

"No coffins, no piled skulls in the corners; I don't even think we have cobwebs… what a disappointment this must be for you," she continued slyly.

I ignored her teasing. "It's so light… so open."

She was more serious when she answered. "It's the one place we never have to hide."

The song she was still playing, my song, drifted to an end, the final chords shifting to a more melancholy key. The last note hovered poignantly in the silence.

"Thank you," I murmured. I realized there were tears in my eyes. I wiped my eyes with the back of my hand, embarrassed.

She held my face in her hands and gently brushed the tears from the corner of my eyes with her thumbs.

"So human." She said, softly.

I gazed at her questioningly, and she gazed back for a long moment before she finally smiled.

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"Only if there's coffins."

She laughed, loudly, taking my hand, and leading me away from the piano.

"I'll see what I can do." She assured me.

We walked up the massive staircase, my hand trailing along the satin-smooth rail. The long hall at the top of the stairs was paneled with a honey-colored wood, the same as the floorboards.

"Royal and Emmett's room… Carlisle's office… Alice and Jasper's room…" She gestured as she led me past the doors.

She would have continued, but I stopped dead at the end of the hall, staring incredulously at the ornament hanging on the wall above my head. Edyth chuckled at my bewildered expression.

"You can laugh," she said. "it is sort of ironic."

I didn't laugh, though. My hand raised automatically, one finger extended as if to touch the large wooden cross, its dark patina contrasting with the lighter tone of the wall. I didn't touch it, though I was curious if the aged wood would feel as silky as it looked.

"It must be very old," I guessed.

She shrugged. "Early sixteen-thirties, more or less."

I looked away from the cross to stare at her.

"Why do you keep this here?" I wondered.

"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father."

"He collected antiques?" I suggested doubtfully.

"No. He carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached."

I wasn't sure if my face betrayed my shock, but I returned to gazing at the simple, ancient cross, just in case. I quickly did the math in my head; the cross was over three hundred and seventy years old. The silence stretched on as I struggled to wrap my mind around the concept of so many years.

"Are you all right?" She sounded worried.

"How old is Carlisle?" I asked quietly, ignoring her question, still staring up.

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday," Edyth said. I looked back at her, a million questions in my eyes.

She watched me carefully as she spoke.

"Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then, for the common people anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule, though."

I kept my face composed, aware of her scrutiny as I listened.

"He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died giving birth to him. His father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came into power, he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves… and vampires." I grew very still at the word. I'm sure she noticed, but she went on without pausing.

"They burned a lot of innocent people—of course the real creatures that he sought were not so easy to catch.

"When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment; he was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and more clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out at night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived.

"The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course"—her brief laugh was darker now—"and waited where Carlisle had seen the monsters exit into the street. Eventually one emerged."

Her voice was very quiet; I strained to catch the words.

"He must have been ancient, and weak with hunger. Carlisle heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran through the streets, and Carlisle—he was twenty-three and very fast—was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked. He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men, and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street."

She paused. I could sense she was editing something, keeping something from me.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned—anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in some rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered.

"It was then, and he realized what he had become."

I'm not sure what my face was revealing, but she suddenly broke off.

"How are you feeling?" she asked.

"I'm fine." I assured her. And, thought I bit my lip in hesitation, she must have seen the curiosity burning in my eyes.

She smiled. "I expect you have a few more questions for me."

"Just a few."

Her smiled widened over her brilliant teeth. She started back down the hall, pulling me along by the hand. "Come on, then," she encouraged. "I'll show you


	31. the cullens Edyth pov

She slept soundly, barely moving. I worried if my lack of body heat would cause her to feel too cold in the night, but the old quilt wrapped around her seemed to leave her sleeping comfortably.

At first, I thought she might not speak tonight, after all, it had been a long day for her and she was probably exhausted. She surprised me though, like she always did. At first, she simply mumbled incoherently. Soft whispers and groans. Then, the words came.

"Mmm… Edyth," her tone was gentle, wistful, "Edyth…. Beautiful…"

Sweet foolish girl, to think me beautiful when it was she who held that title in my eyes.

"Edyth…" She sighed again, "Edyth…" She took a deep breath, then sighed deeply. "I love you… Edyth"

It was like the entire word had stopped, like nothing else mattered. If my heart could beat it would be pounding harder than hers had ever beat in all our time together. If I wasn't cold stone, I would be on fire. To hear her say the words, to hear them spoken aloud, was the most euphoric feeling I had ever known.

A selfish part of me—more selfish than I had already been—longed to stir her, wake her up and profess my love to her, but I couldn't be that selfish. I could wait one night to shower her with declarations of my love in the morning. After all, I had waited nearly a century, I could wait a few hours.

She didn't speak again for the rest of the night, as the night went on I began to wonder what the next step would be for us. Where would we go from here? A smile spread across my face as an idea dawned on me. I glanced at the small clock on her bedside table. It was still a few hours before sunrise. I gently removed myself from the bed, hating leaving her but eager to prepare for my new plan.

Before I left, I leaned forward and gently kissed her forehead, inhaling her scent.

"I love you, Bella Swan you are my life my mate my everything."

I was out the window in less than a second, sprinting with renewed vigor back to my own home.

When I arrived, Alice was standing on the front porch with a wide grin on her face.

"I see that you might be bringing Bella by today," she said, a bit a smugly, "should I plan a party? I can throw it together by mid-morning!" She was practically bouncing.

"I don't think a party is necessary, Alice," I rolled my eyes. "A simple welcome should suffice."

"But a party would be so much fun! I could decorate the house for her! What's her favorite flower?"

"Alice, please." I glared.

"Fine, fine…" she huffed, turning to the front door. She spun back around suddenly. "We could make her dinner! Does she like Italian food?"

I rolled my eyes again and gently pushed her into the house.

Emmett and Royal were sitting on the couch watching the television, Jasper sat in the corner reading. They all turned to look at me, their expressions curious.

"Hey, Edyth!" Emmett called, "How'd it go? I'm guessing you didn't kill her."

Royal snorted and rolled his eyes.

"Where are Carlisle and Esme?" I asked, ignoring his question.

"What is it, Edyth?" Carlisle asked from the bottom of the stairs, Esme at his side.

"I would like to do something, but I would like to ask all of your permission first." I said slowly.

Royal let out a single, humorless laugh. "That's nice for a change; consulting us before you make a stupid decision."

"Royal…" Esme gave him a disapproving glance before turning back to me, "What is it, Edyth?"

I took a deep breath, trying to ignore Alice's building excitement beside me.

"I'd like to invite Bella to come to the house and meet everyone."

There was a moment of stunned silence. No one spoke, and there were no immediate thoughts to read. It was barely a second, but it felt like an eternity.

Royal, of course, was the first to speak.

"You've got to be kidding." He growled, "You want to bring a human here?Here? The one place we don't have to hide? The one place we can just be ourselves? And you want to bring your little human crush here?"

"Royal, please," Carlisle sighed. "I think it's a fine idea. Bella is important to Edyth, and she'd like us to meet her. I see nothing wrong with that."

"Should we make her dinner?" Esme was smiling widely, her mind in a flurry trying to decide how best to welcome Bella.

"That's what I said!" Alice beamed, "I was thinking Italian food."

"It would be a good excuse to use the kitchen." Carlisle mused.

"Does she even like Italian food?" Emmett asked,

"You're all ridiculous," Royal huffed, standing suddenly, "If you want to bring the human over then fine—I can't stop you." He stomped off towards the garage. "Just know I won't be here." He shouted as he slammed the door behind him.

"Aw, hell," Emmett sighed, "I want to meet the kid but I should probably stay with Roy just to keep him from getting to riled up about everything. Sorry, Edyth."

"It's fine, Emmett," I nodded, "I'd rather someone keep Royal in check, to be honest."

Emmett sighed again and hurried off to find Royal. I turned back to Carlisle and Esme.

"I'm sorry to spring this on you so suddenly."

"Don't be sorry, dear," Esme smiled, "We're happy to have her over."

"Perhaps we should all go on a quick hunting trip," Carlisle suggested coolly, "just to make sure we're all prepared."

I was wondering when they'd start worrying about me, Jasper thought, raising an eyebrow at me,I suppose I shouldn't take it too personally.

I gave Jasper a slight nod of appreciation and apology. He only laughed.

"Jasper, I don't mean to sound insensitive—"

He raised a hand to stop don't worry, I'll keep my distance from Bella he rolled his eyes slightly. "Alice, we should get going," he called out loud, "I think I'm in the mood for some big prey today."

Alice sighed, "Okay, but let's not spend all morning hunting. I want to make sure everything is perfect before Bella gets here!"

They were gone in a second, Alice's mind split between hunting plans and combing through possible visions of the coming afternoon. I was relieved to see that all of her visions showed a successful visit.

"I suppose we should be happy that Alice didn't mention today going badly," Carlisle smiled.

"From what I could see, she's confident it will go well." I nodded.

"Of course it will!" Esme laughed, "We'll all be on our best behavior." She put a gentle hand on my cheek.I'm so happy for you, Edyth. So very happy.

And she was gone, Carlisle gave me a smiling nod before he, too, hurried off.

I went to my room, glancing around at the various journals and CDs strewn about the space. I quickly tidied up before changing into fresh clothes for the day. I had to laugh then at the absurdity of the moment. I was cleaning my room, nervously preparing for my girlfriend to meet my family. How human of me!

I didn't want to waste any more time than I had to away from Bella, so I hurried back out to see her. It was slightly foolish of me, after all, she was still fast asleep and it would be several hours before she woke up but I hated spending any time away from her. Besides, she had wanted me to stay. I hoped she wouldn't notice that I had left.

I climbed back through her bedroom window, but not wanting to wake her by climbing into the bed I took my usual place in the corner of the room, sitting in the old rocking chair. I sat and watched her sleep, wondering if she wouldn't mind this time since she had asked me to stay.

The night crawled on, but eventually reached its end. The sun would be rising soon. I could hear Charlie stir in his room and listened as he prepared for his morning. He left about an hour later, I discreetly glanced out of Bella's bedroom window and watched as Charlie piled an absurd amount of fishing gear into his cruiser before driving off.

I watched Bella sleep as the muted grey light filled the room. The brighter it became the more she stirred and tossed. A few times she let out a groan, her breathing became less slow and steady as she finally began to stir.

"Oh!" She suddenly gasped, shooting straight up in bed. It seemed to throw her off balance. Her hair stuck out in all directions, tangled around itself.

"Your hair looks like a haystack… but I like it." I smiled from my place in the corner.

Her attention shot to me, and her face turned a light shade of pink. She ran her hands through her hair, but the mop of curls could not be tamed so easily.

"You stayed." She blinked a few times, disbelief in her voice.

"Of course. That's what you wanted, correct?"

She nodded.

I smiled, elated that her feelings had not changed overnight. "It's what I wanted, too."

She tumbled out of the bed, staggering clumsily toward me; I grinned and reached out to take her hands, so I could pull her into my lap. She tentatively rested her head against my shoulder and took a deep breath.

"I was almost sure it was a dream." She sighed.

"You're not that creative," I scoffed, teasingly.

"Charlie!" She suddenly jumped to her feet and stumbled toward the door.

"He left an hour ago, with an amazing amount of gear."

She stopped, glancing back at me and back towards to the door, looking oddly disoriented.

"You're not usually this confused in the morning," I mused, watching her.

She answered me with a stern glare, "I'm still not sure I'm okay with the fact that you know that."

I could only smile guiltily at her, then I held my arms open, beckoning her to return to me.

She hesitated a moment before answering, "I need another human minute."

"I'll wait." I smiled.

She rushed out of the room and I heard the sound of the bathroom door closing. A faucet turning on, fumbling about, it sounded like she was brushing her teeth. A few splashes of water, then the faucet turned off. The bathroom door reopened, and her steps headed back towards the room.

When she returned, her hair was slightly less wild than it had been before, there was some water on her face, and a smell of mint on her breath. I hadn't moved, my arms still open for her. I gestured her to join me with my hands and I heard her heartbeat quicken as she approached me.

"Welcome back," I breathed as I wrapped my arms around her.

We stayed like that for a too short moment before she glanced down at my clothes then up at my hair, a quizzical look on her face.

"You left?" She queried, touching the collar of my shirt.

"I could hardly leave in the clothes I came in—what would the neighbors think?" I teased.

"I didn't even notice you go."

"You were very deeply asleep; I didn't miss anything." I suppressed a smile. "The talking came earlier."

She groaned comically. "What did you hear?"

All teasing left my face, my eyes burned with passion as I looked down at her. I was usually hyper-aware of my facial expression, but I wondered what I looked like now. "You said you loved me."

She turned crimson. "Maybe I do." she dropped her head, examining the stitches in my shirt. "Besides, you knew that already."

"It was nice to hear, just the same."

Her eyes met mine, and she ran her hands through my hair.

"I love you," she whispered.

A thousand ways of expressing my love passed through my mind, all the different ways I could tell her how much she meant to me, all the different ways I could describe my love.

"You are my life now," was the best response I could give. It was simple, short, but it encapsulated all my feelings perfectly.

I leaned forward and rested my forehead against hers as carefully as I could, and we sat there, saying nothing, as the morning light slowly filled the room.

I could have stayed like that forever, but I knew she could not, and I was eager to take her to see my family, slowly, reluctantly, I leaned back and smiled down at her.

"Breakfast time."

She threw her hand over her neck and her eyes were wild and panicked.

I reflexively flinched, then I saw the smirk dancing at the corners of her mouth and narrowed my eyes at her joke, scowling.

"Come on," she laughed, "you know that was funny."

I had suspected she had a slightly morbid sense of humor, I suppose this confirmed it. "I disagree. Shall I rephrase? Breakfast time for the human."

"Okay." She chewed her lip for a moment, "I need one more human minute first, if you don't mind."

"Of course."

"Stay."

"Oh, yes, madam" I smiled. I was beginning to realize I enjoyed when she was assertive. There was something thrilling about it.

She rushed out of her bedroom and I heard the bathroom door shut. The sound of the faucet for a moment, then the hiss of the shower. Drawers opening and closing… Then a sudden silence. I listened carefully, but I didn't hear any movement for a good minute or two. I was curious as to what was wrong, and then her footsteps came back toward the room. I thought to ask her what was wrong as she appeared in the doorway, but my voice caught in my throat.

"Um…" She cleared her throat, blushing furiously.

She was still wet from the shower, with only a towel wrapped tightly around her waist. The water glistened off her pale skin. Trailed in beads down her chest, her stomach, down to her waist…

"I… Er…" I had never been so thoroughly stunned in my entire existence. I had never felt so completely conflicted. The urge to cross the room and pull her into my arms, to… to… "Shall we meet in the kitchen, then?" I practically choked out the words.

"If you don't mind." She blushed, deeper.

"She's going to be the death of me…" I muttered to myself before I rose to my feet, rushing past her as quickly as I could. Even then, the temptation was so intense I wasn't sure how I managed to continue down the stairs and into the kitchen.

"Thanks," she called down after me.

When I reached the kitchen, I leaned against the counter and took a few cleansing breaths, trying to collect myself. How could she be so thoroughly tempting? It was indecent!

After a few minutes, she ran down the stairs to join me in the kitchen. She was wearing a pair of nicely fitted jeans and the deep blue shirt I enjoyed so much. The deep cut collar showed off her neck nicely, and I couldn't help but think of the sight of it a moment ago, bare and wet… Damn! I needed to get ahold of myself!

"What's for breakfast?" She asked, distracting me from my thoughts.

I hadn't thought of that, I hadn't cooked anything in… Well, it had been a while. I would have to learn for her. "I'm not sure… What would you like?"

She laughed. "That's all right, I fend for myself pretty well. You're allowed to watch me hunt."

I watched her pull a bowl from a cupboard, then a box of food from the pantry; cereal, it looked like. I sat down at the table and watched her prepare her meal. The smell was slightly off-putting—the chalky smelling squares of the cereal, the strange sour smell of the milk—then she set the food down on the table and paused, glancing down at the empty space in front of me.

"Um, can I… get you anything?" she asked.

I rolled my eyes. "Just eat, Bella."

She sat down, watching me as she took a bite. It was fascinating watching her eat, I hadn't noticed it before. The stark difference between us. Me, a creature of violence and blood tearing into my prey and her, calm and easy as she brought the spoon to her mouth.

She swallowed a bit loudly, then cleared her throat. "Anything on the agenda today?"

"Perhaps," I said slowly. "That depends on whether or not you like my idea."

"I'm sure I'll like it," she said, taking a second bite.

My lips pursed, suddenly feeling nervous. "Are you open to meeting my family?"

Her eyes widened, and she suddenly began coughing and choking on her food.

I jumped up, feeling helpless as I reached my hand out toward her. I knew how to save someone from choking in practice, I had learned of course, but I had only ever practiced on dummies, never on an actual human—How much force would I need to exert to help her without hurting her? I was trying to figure out how to strike that balance when she began shaking her head and motioning for me to sit while she coughed.

"I'm fine, I'm fine," she gasped.

"Please don't do that to me again, Bella."

"Work on your timing." She shot back.

"Perhaps we should have this conversation after your meal."

"Okay." She agreed.

I watched her eat in silence. She seemed distracted now, her eyes not focused on anything. I foolishly wondered what she was thinking about. There was no way I could figure it out, for as good as I was getting at reading her expressions and tone I still couldn't read her when she was so silent and withdrawn like this.

"I've finally done it," I murmured glumly as she pushed the bowl away.

"What did you do?"

"I scared you."

She shrugged, "I suppose you did."

"I wouldn't let anyone hurt you," I promised her, jokingly.

This apparently had the opposite effect from what I intended as a worried look crept into her expression.

"No one would try, Bella, that was a joke."

"I just don't want to cause any problems. Do they even know that I know?"

I rolled my eyes. Always so selfless, always worried about everyone else. "Oh, they're quite up to date. It's not really possible to keep secrets in my family, what with our various parlor tricks. Alice had already seen that your dropping by was a possibility."

A mess of different expressions ran across her face for a moment before she fixed a neutral one in place, even then, her face began to burn scarlet after a second.

I wondered what she could possibly be thinking of that would make her blush like that.

"Just thinking about what Alice might have seen," she explained, apparently reading me better than I was reading her.

That made sense, and I nodded. "It can feel invasive. But she doesn't do it on purpose. And she sees so many different possibilities… She doesn't know which will happen. For example. She saw over a hundred different ways that yesterday could have gone, and you only survived about seventy-five percent of the scenarios." I could hear the edge creeping into my voice as the tension spread throughout my body. "They'd taken bets, you know, as to whether or not I would kill you." They had been foolish enough to think I wouldn't catch them thinking about it. Alice had been largely disapproving of the whole game, but Emmett and Jasper enjoyed their little bets.

"Oh."

I watched her. "Do you want to know who sided for and against?"

"Um, maybe not. Tell me after I meet them. I don't want to go into this prejudiced."

Her answer surprised me, I had thought she would put up more of a fight about the whole idea. "Oh, you'll go then?"

"Oh, why not." She threw up her hands, letting them drop back into her lap. "It's traditional, isn't it?"

I laughed at her response, and she smiled.

"If we're being traditional," I asked eagerly, "does that mean I get to meet Charlie, too?"

"He already knows you," I replied.

"As your girlfriend, I mean."

Her eyes sparked suddenly, and she smiled. "Is that what you are?"

"Of course." I said, confused. "Is it a question?"

"I suppose we've never said the words."

I laughed again, "I'm your girlfriend," the words thrilled me as I said them, "And I would like to meet your father."

"Well, okay." She said after a moment. "You'll have to cut me some slack though, I've never introduced a girl to my dad and we just sort of opened up the conversation about me being Gay. So I want to ease him into it."

I could agree to that. "It's a loose interpretation of the word 'girl,' I'll admit." I reached across the table and ran a finger down her jaw, "but we'll spare him all the gory details." I smiled at her, lifting her chin with my finger. "He will need some explanation for why I'm around here so much. I don't want Chief Swan getting a restraining order put on me."

"Will you be here that much?" She asked, eagerly.

"As much as you want me," I assured her.

"I want you a lot." She said softly.

I felt a thrill run through me, I grinned and rose to my feet, "Are we ready to go?"

"Sure, do I look decent?" She asked absently, standing and moving towards the door.

I caught her by the waist and pulled her close to me.

"Decent?" I breathed into her ear. "You are utterly indecent—no one should look so tempting, it's not fair."

"Temping? I can change…"

"I wouldn't dream of it." I purred. I pressed my lips to her warm forehead and her scent coursed through me, short-circuiting my better thinking. "Shall I explain how you are tempting me?"

I traced my fingers slowly down her spine and my breathing sped as my excitement began to rise. Her hands were limp against my chest, and she seemed unsteady on her feet. I tilted my head slowly, carefully, and pressed my lips to hers. My urges overtook me and my lips parted hers slightly. In response, she grabbed handfuls of my shirt, and my grip on her waist tightened. I pushed her backwards towards the wall, pinning her there. The gentle impact against the wall, caused her to tighten her grip on my shirt and added an urgency in her body. A growl of pleasure escaped my mouth and my lips moved from hers to her jaw, then down her neck. Her breathing hitched and quickened, then a shiver ran down her body.

"Okay, okay," she gasped. "We need to stop."

"Why?" I groaned into her neck, wanting the exact opposite.

"Because if you keep doing that I'm not going to be able to stop myself from jumping you."

I reluctantly pulled away, grinning widely. "Perhaps that wouldn't be the worst thing…" If I was being honest with myself, I needed to stop us while I could, but I desperately wanted to keep going.

"Don't tempt me." She groaned.

I smiled, looking her up and down. "I'm very partial to that color with your skin," I said without much thought, completely distracted by how beautiful she looked. She flushed even deeper, the blood pulsing under her pale skin.

"We need to get going, or we're never going to leave." She said, breathlessly. That anxious crease began to show between her eyebrows and she began to chew gently on her lower lip.

"You're starting to look worried." I noted quietly.

"I am."

"Not because you're headed to meet a houseful of vampires, but because you think those vampires won't approve of you, correct?" I wondered if my casual use of the word surprised her at all.

"That's right." She answered without hesitation.

I shook my head in disbelief. "You're incredible."

I was grateful she had let me drive. I was too eager and too anxious to handle her unbearably sluggish driving. She watched the scenery pass with wide, observant eyes, like she was trying to build a map in her mind. No one in town knew exactly where the mysterious, strange Cullens lived. We preferred it that way. We liked having our sanctuary, removed and alone, beyond the houses, nestled deep in the forest.

I drove the familiar path automatically, not needing to pay attention. My attention was solely on Bella. She didn't notice me staring, though, she was too distracted by the misty forest surrounding us. When we turned onto the unmarked, unpaved drive that led to the house, her eyes strained to look ahead into the shady canopy of the trees, trying to find the elusive Cullen home.

I watched her eyes squint, then widen slowly, until she was staring without blinking at the house. It was certainly impressive. Esme had done a remarkable job turning the old historical home into a stylish, modernized abode. Restoring old houses had always been a favorite pastime of hers and was the part of moving she most looked forward to. It was a small consolation to us whenever we had to move to see the joy and excitement light Esme's eyes whenever we found a new home for her to work on.

"Wow." Bella breathed.

"You like it?" I smiled.

"It… has a certain charm."

Always downplaying things. I leaned over and gently kissed her neck. I was out of the car and opening her door before she had even blushed.

"Ready?" I asked, still smiling.

"Not even a little bit—let's go." She laughed nervously.

"You look fantastic." I took her hand to lead her to the front door.

As we walked the shaded path to the porch I could sense the tension in her body. Her pulse was becoming less steady, her skin looked paler with every step. I rubbed my thumb in slow, gentle circles along the back of her hand.

I wondered if she was aware of how nervous I was, how anxiously excited I felt.

I opened the door for her.

Any anxiousness she had felt before seemed to momentarily falter as her eyes took in the interior of the house. I hadn't thought much of it before, at least not in a very long time. The wide-open room that Esme had created by knocking out most of the walls, the back wall entirely made of glass to open up the view all the way to the wide river, the bright airy colors she had chosen for the interior.

Here she is!Carlisle's thoughts beamed from where he stood next to the grand piano.

We're so happy to meet her, Edyth. Esme's thoughts were bright and ecstatic next to her.

They stayed where they were, smiling and welcoming, but not making any move to meet us. They didn't want to frighten Bella, but Esme observed her hand in mine and it filled her with a sense of elation and satisfaction.

Bella stared at Carlisle for a moment, then her eyes moved to Esme. I couldn't help but watch her through her eyes. Her face was even with a slight, nervous smile on her lips. Her posture was unsure, and her free hand tugged at the hem of her shirt.

"Carlisle, Esme," I broke the short silence, "this is Bella."

"You're very welcome, Bella." Carlisle took a deliberately slow, measured step as he approached Bella. Slower and more careful than he was even at the hospital. Carlisle tentatively raised his hand, and Bella stepped forward to shake it.

"It's nice to see you again, Dr. Cullen."

"Please, call me Carlisle."

"Carlisle." Bella grinned, seeming completely at ease. I felt relief pour through me that this was going so well.

She seems very at ease, doesn't she?Carlisle smiled in his thoughts.

Esme smiled then and took an equally slow step toward Bella, reaching for her hand.

"It's very nice to know you," she's so cute, Edyth.

"Thank you. I'm glad to meet you, too." Bella smiled back.

And so polite!Esme continued beaming.

"Where are Alice and Jasper?" I said, knowing they were waiting upstairs. It was their cue to come down, rather than an actual question.

Finally!Alice's thoughts were a cacophony of excitement. "Hey Edyth!" She called from the top of the stairs. She dashed down the stairs, almost too fast for Bella's human eyes to see, coming to a easy stop right in front of her.

Alice!

Oh, no…

Carlisle and Esme shot warning glances at her, but she paid them no mind. Bella, for her part, seemed completely unbothered by her sudden appearance. She was too comfortable, after all.

"Hi, Bella!" Alice said, and she balanced on her toes to kiss her quickly on the cheek. Esme and Carlisle's thoughts were beyond reproach now; they were positively staggered. Bella's eyes looked surprised, too, but there was something else in them I couldn't quite place… Almost a happiness and relief in their silvery depths.

Despite Bella's relative calm, I couldn't keep myself from going tense when her scent washed over Alice. I was thoroughly accustomed to her scent at this point, but it was different experiencing it through someone else's mind. Alice easily observed the subtler notes to Bella's fragrance, measured their overall appeal, and pushed it from her mind. Almost like she was noticing some expensive perfume rather than the deliciously tempting scent of human blood. Bella glanced at my face, but I kept my expression even.

"You do smell nice, I never noticed before," Alice commented, like it was nothing. How easy for her!

No one spoke then, and I felt my anxiety begin to rise. I wasn't sure what to say, how to maneuver away from the topic of Bella's scent. When did I become so bad at conversation?

Need a hand?Jasper smirked in his thoughts, measuring the rising tension in the room and countering it with a sense of calm and ease as he stepped into the room. I felt Bella relax at my side, a smile slowly spreading on her face. I raised an eyebrow at Jasper, curiously.

I won't be kissing her on the cheek or welcoming her with a hug, but it's the least I can do, I suppressed a smirk. "Hello, Bella." He kept his distance, his hands staunchly at his side.

"Hello, Jasper." Bella smiled shyly back at him, and then at the others. "It's nice to meet you all—you have a very beautiful home," she complimented.

"Thank you," Esme replied. "We're so glad that you came."It's so brave of her! I can hardly believe it!

Edyth, I don't mean to take away from the moment... Carlisle was looking at me, a bit to intensely. I worried Bella would notice, she tended to notice such you arrived with Bella, Alice had a vision…He recalled the memory for me. Visitors—nomads—coming to the area, they would be coming close to where we were, curious to see this large coven of their kind in such a populated area. I nodded once.

"Do you play?" Esme asked, pulling me from my silent conversation with Carlisle.

Bella was looking at my piano with a strange look of fondness in her eyes.

She looked back at Esme and shook her head. "Not at all. But it's so beautiful. Is It yours?"

"No," she laughed. "Edyth didn't tell you that she was musical?"

"No." Bella turned to me. I tried to look innocent, but she glared at me with narrowed eyes. "I should have known, I guess."

Esme raised her eyebrows in confusion at her response.

"Is there anything she's not good at?" Bella asked, in that funny flat way I enjoyed.

Jasper snickered in response, Alice rolled her eyes, and Esme looked at me with an admonishing expression.

"I hope you haven't been showing off—it's rude," she scolded.

"Just a bit," I laughed.

Though you do have many talents worth sharing, my dear.

"She's been too modest, actually." Bella said.

"Well, play for her," Esme encouraged.

"You just said showing off was rude," I countered.

"There are exceptions to every rule," she replied. She turned to Bella, smiling. "I'm being selfish. She doesn't play enough, and I love to hear her."

"I'd like to hear you play," Bella looked up at me, an excited expression in her eyes.

"It's settled then." Esme pushed me toward the piano. I tugged Bella along, sitting her beside me on the bench.

I gave Bella a long, exasperated look for encouraging Esme like she had, but it was mostly put on. I did enjoy showing off for Bella more than I should; I liked the way she usually responded to me showing off.

I launched into Esme's favorite song. Bella's reaction was certainly amusing, her mouth actually dropped open! She leaned closer into me, probably without thinking about it. The others chuckled at her reaction, and I couldn't help but feel rather smug.

I looked at her casually, reveling in the feeling of it all and winked at her. "Do you like it?"

"Did you write this?"

I nodded. "It's Esme's favorite."

"It's beautiful." She murmured softly, watching my hands fly across the keys.

I smiled and slowed the music into her lullaby. Her eyebrows raised in surprise as she realized what she was hearing.

"You inspired this one," I said softly. "This is your song."

She didn't speak, she just watched my hands, leaning into me.

We'll give you two some privacy. Carlisle smiled.

Don't hog her all day, Edyth!Alice chided.

She's wonderful, Edyth, just wonderful. So happy for you!Esme beamed.

They all silently slipped out of the room.

"They like you, you know," I said to Bella. "Esme, especially."

She glanced behind us, looking for them all.

"Where did they go?"

"Very subtly giving us some privacy, I suppose."

She sighed. "They like me. But Royal and Emmett…" she trailed off.

I frowned, I didn't want her thinking about that. "Don't worry about Royal, he'll come around."

Bella pursed her lips, her expression full of doubt. "Emmett?"

"Well, he thinks I'm a lunatic, it's true, but he doesn't have a problem with you. He's trying to reason with Royal." I wanted to add that Emmett wanted to be here, but decided against it since it might only serve to tip Bella off as to how bad of a mood Royal was in.

"What is it that upset Royal?"

I sighed, not wanting to waste time talking about all of Royal's petty little grievances. "Royal struggles the most with… what we are. It's hard for him to have someone outside know the truth. And he's a little jealous."

"Royalis jealous of me?" Bella asked, utterly perplexed.

"You're human." I shrugged. "He wishes that he were, too."

"Oh," she muttered, seeming surprised by the answer. "Even Jasper, though…"

"That's really my fault," I said. "I told you he was the most recent to our way of life. I warned him to keep his distance."

Bella was silent for a moment, then a slight shudder ran down her body.

"Esme and Carlisle…?" She continued, quickly.

"Are happy to see me happy. Actually, Esme wouldn't care if you had a third eye and webbed feet. All this time she's been worried about me, afraid that there was something missing from my essential makeup, that I was too young when Carlisle changed me…. She's ecstatic. Every time I touch you, she just about chokes with satisfaction."

"Alice seems very… enthusiastic." She observed, because she saw everything too clearly.

"Alice has her own way of looking at things," I said through tight lips, thinking of Alice's many visions of Bella's future.

"And you're not going to explain that, are you?"

I couldn't explain it to her, not now. But she knew that. Somehow she could sense there was more and that I wouldn't—couldn't—tell her… not now, at least. Somehow, the wordless communication that passed between us seemed enough for her for the time being.

"So what was Carlisle telling you before?"

Ah. She had noticed. Of course. "You noticed that, did you?"

She shrugged. "Give me some credit."

I looked at her for a moment before answering. I supposed it would be better to tell her. No use in hiding it.

"He wanted to tell me some news—he didn't know if it was something I would share with you."

"Will you?"

"I have to, because I'm going to be a little… overbearingly protective over the next few days—or weeks—and I wouldn't want you to think I'm naturally a tyrant."

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing's wrong, exactly. Alice just sees some visitors coming soon. They know we're here, and they're curious."

"Visitors?"

"Yes… well, they aren't like us, of course—in their hunting habits, I mean. They probably won't come into town at all, but I'm certainly not going to let you out of my sight till they're gone."

She shivered.

"Finally, a rational response!" I murmured. "I was beginning to think you had no sense of self-preservation at all."

She stiffened for a fraction of a second, then deliberately looked away from me, her eyes wandering around the room.

I followed her gaze. "Not what you expected, is it?" I asked, my voice a little too smug.

"No," she said.

"No coffins, no piled skills in the corners; I don't even think we have cobwebs… what a disappointment this must be for you," I continued, teasing.

She ignored me. "It's so light… so open."

My voice was more serious now. "It's the one place we never have to hide."

The part of Bella's lullaby I liked the least was here now; the end. I couldn't shy away from the inexorable ending. The melancholy sound of a life in the balance...

"Thank you," I said quietly after the final note had ended. She raised her hand suddenly to her face, wiping away small, glistening tears.

I took her face in my hands, gently brushing the tears from the corners of her eyes with my thumbs.

"So human." I marveled.

She gazed at me, her eyes full of questions and I gazed back for a long moment before smiling.

"Do you want to see the rest of the house?"

"Only if there's coffins."

I laughed, loudly, taking her hand in mine and leading her away from the piano.

"I'll see what I can do." I chuckled.

I led her up the stairs, and her hand trailed along the railing. She looked around at the walls and floorboards, her eyes wide and curious.

"Royal and Emmett's room… Carlisle's office… Alice and Jasper's room…" I casually gestured as I led her past the doors.

She stopped suddenly at the end of the hall, I turned to look at her. She was staring with a bewildered expression at the large crucifix hanging on the wall.

"You can laugh," I offered. "It is sort of ironic."

She didn't laugh, though. She stared at the old, wooden cross. Her hand reached out, one finger extended, as if to touch the dark wood but she didn't. She just stared.

"It must be very old," she guessed.

I shrugged. "Early sixteen-thirties, more or less."

She broke away from the cross to stare at me.

"Why do you keep this here?"

"Nostalgia. It belonged to Carlisle's father." I replied.

"He collected antiques?" She offered, doubt in her voice.

"No. He carved this himself. It hung on the wall above the pulpit in the vicarage where he preached.

A look of shock passed over her face, and she quickly returned her gaze to the old cross. Her brow furrowed slightly like she was trying to work something out in her head. She didn't speak again. She just stared with a mixed expression of awe and shock on her face.

"Are you all right?" I asked, growing worried.

"How old is Carlisle?" She asked quietly, distracted.

"He just celebrated his three hundred and sixty-second birthday," I answered. Bella looked back at me, her blue eyes full of questions.

I watched her carefully as I spoke, trying to read every reaction in her face.

"Carlisle was born in London, in the sixteen-forties, he believes. Time wasn't marked as accurately then, for the common people anyway. It was just before Cromwell's rule, though."

Bella's face didn't betray anything. I guessed she was working to keep her expression even.

"He was the only son of an Anglican pastor. His mother died giving birth to him. His father was an intolerant man. As the Protestants came into power, he was enthusiastic in his persecution of Roman Catholics and other religions. He also believed very strongly in the reality of evil. He led hunts for witches, werewolves… and vampires." Ah. There was a reaction. It was slight—miniscule—but I did see it. I continued without pausing.

"They burned a lot of innocent people—of course the real creatures that he sought were not so easy to catch.

"When the pastor grew old, he placed his obedient son in charge of the raids. At first Carlisle was a disappointment; he was not quick to accuse, to see demons where they did not exist. But he was persistent, and more clever than his father. He actually discovered a coven of true vampires that lived hidden in the sewers of the city, only coming out at night to hunt. In those days, when monsters were not just myths and legends, that was the way many lived.

"The people gathered their pitchforks and torches, of course"—I let out a brief, dark laugh—"and waited where Carlisle had seen the monsters exit into the street. Eventually one emerged."

Bella leaned in closer to me, hanging on every word.

"He must have been ancient, and weak with hunger. Carlisle heard him call out in Latin to the others when he caught the scent of the mob. He ran through the streets, and Carlisle—he was twenty-three and very fast—was in the lead of the pursuit. The creature could have easily outrun them, but Carlisle thinks he was too hungry, so he turned and attacked. He fell on Carlisle first, but the others were close behind, and he turned to defend himself. He killed two men, and made off with a third, leaving Carlisle bleeding in the street."

I stopped myself from relaying too much. Bella didn't need to know the gritty details of the transformation. I didn't want her to know those details.

"Carlisle knew what his father would do. The bodies would be burned—anything infected by the monster must be destroyed. Carlisle acted instinctively to save his own life. He crawled away from the alley while the mob followed the fiend and his victim. He hid in a cellar, buried himself in some rotting potatoes for three days. It's a miracle he was able to keep silent, to stay undiscovered.

"It was then, and he realized what he had become."

Bella's eyes were wide, a mounting expression of horror deep within them. I broke off from the story, concerned.

"How are you feeling?" I asked.

"I'm fine." She sounded like she meant it honestly. She chewed on her lip for a moment, her eyes full of curiosity.

I smiled. "I expect you have a few more questions for me."

"Just a few."

I smiled wider. I enjoyed her curiosity now. It was humorous, really. Before, I would have been horrified at her eagerness to learn more about me and my family—about what we were. But now, when she already knew so much, it was practically a relief to share it all with someone else.

"Come on, then," I led her down the hall toward Carlisle's office. "I'll show you.


	32. Carlisle Bella pov

She led me back to the room that she'd pointed out as Carlisle's office. She paused outside the door for a brief moment.

"Come in," Carlisle's voice invited.

Edyth opened the door to a high-ceilinged room with tall, west-facing windows. The walls were paneled again, in a darker wood—where they were visible. Most of the wall space was taken up by towering bookshelves that reached high above my head and held more books than I'd ever seen outside a library.

Carlisle sat behind a huge mahogany desk in a leather chair. He was just placing a bookmark in the pages of the thick volume he held. The room was how I'd always imagined a college dean's would look—only Carlisle looked too young to fit the part.

"What can I do for you?" he asked us pleasantly, rising from his seat.

"I wanted to show Bella some of our history," Edyth said. "Well, your history, actually."

"We didn't mean to disturb you," I apologized.

"Not at all. Where are you going to start?"

"The Waggoner," Edyth replied, placing one hand lightly on my shoulder and spinning me around to look back toward the door we'd just come though. My heart fluttered a bit; I had grown to appreciate the casual touches more than anything, no longer strained or hesitant.

The wall we faced now was different from the others. Instead of bookshelves, this was crowded with framed pictures of all sizes, some in vibrant colors, others dull monochromes. I searched for some logic, some binding motif the collection had in common, but I found nothing in my hasty examination.

Edyth led me toward the far left side, standing me in front of a small square oil painting in a plain wooden frame. This one did not stand out among the bigger and brighter pieces; painted in varying tones of sepia, it depicted a miniature city full of steeply slanted roofs, with thin spires atop a few scattered towers. A wide river filled the foreground, crossed by a bridge covered with structures that looked like tiny cathedrals.

"London in the sixteen-fifties," Edyth said.

"The London of my youth," Carlisle added, from a few feet behind us. I flinched in surprise; I hadn't heard him approach. Edyth, squeezed my hand, gently.

"Will you tell the story?" Edyth asked. I twisted a little to see Carlisle's reaction.

He met my glance and smiled. "I would," he replied. "But I'm actually running a bit late. The hospital called this morning—Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do," he added, grinning at Edyth now.

It was a surreal combination—the everyday concerns of the town doctor stuck in the middle of a discussion of his early days in seventeenth-century London.

It was also unsettling to know that he spoke aloud only for my benefit.

After another warm smile for me, Carlisle left the room.

I stared at the little picture of Carlisle's hometown for a long moment.

"What happened then?" I finally asked, staring up at Edyth, who was watching me. "When he realized what had happened to him?"

She looked back to the paintings, and I looked to see which image caught her interest now. It was a larger landscape in dull fall colors—an empty, shadowed meadow in a forest, with a craggy peak in the distance.

"When he knew what he had become," Edyth said quietly, "he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" I didn't mean to say it aloud, but the word broke through my shock.

"He jumped from great heights," Edyth told me, her voice impassive "He tried to drown himself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist… feeding… while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try and kill himself with starvation."

"Is that possible?" My voice was faint.

"No, there are very few ways we can be killed."

I opened my mouth to ask, but she spoke before I could.

"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself.

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again.

"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and—"

"He swam to France?"

"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella," she reminded me patiently.

"Okay, but people don't swim to France."

"Swimming is easy for us—"

"What isn't easy for you?" I griped.

She waited, her expression amused.

"I won't interrupt again, I promise."

She chuckled darkly, and finished her sentence. "Because, technically, we don't need to breath."

"You—"

"No, no, you promised." She laughed, putting her cold finger lightly to my lips. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"You can't spring something like that on me, and then expect me not to say anything," I mumbled against her finger.

She lifted her hand, moving it to rest against my neck.

"You don't have to breath?" I demanded.

"No, it's not necessary. Just a habit." She shrugged.

"How long can you go…without breathing?"

"Indefinitely, I suppose; I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable—being without a sense of smell."

"A bit uncomfortable," I echoed.

I wasn't paying attention to my own expression, but something in it made her grow somber. Her hand dropped to her side and she stood very still, her eyes intent on my face. The silence lengthened. Her features were immobile as stone.

"What is it?" I whispered, putting my hand on her frozen cheek.

Her face softened under my hand, and she sighed. "I keep waiting for it to happen."

"For what to happen?"

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you go." She smiled half a smile, but her eyes were serious. "I won't stop you. I want you to run, I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile…."

She trailed off, staring at my face. Waiting.

"I'm not running anywhere," I promised.

"We'll see," she said, smiling sadly.

I frowned at her. "So, go on—Carlisle was swimming to France."

She paused, getting back into her story. Reflexively, her eyes flickered to another picture—the most colorful of them all, the most ornately framed, and the largest; it was twice as wide as the door it hung next to. The canvas overflowed with bright figures in swirling robes, writhing around long pillars and off marbled balconies. I couldn't tell if it represented Greek mythology, or if the characters floating in the clouds above were meant to be biblical.

"Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine—and found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives." Her expression became awed, almost reverent. "I can't adequately describe the struggle; it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous effort to perfect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there, at the hospital…." Edyth stared off into space for a long moment. Suddenly she seemed to recall her purpose. She tapped her finger against the huge painting in front of us.

"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London sewers."

She gestured to a comparatively sedate quartet of figures painted on the highest balcony, looking down calmly on the mayhem below them. I examined the grouping carefully and realized, with a startled laugh, that I recognized the golden-haired man.

"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods," Edyth chuckled. "Aro, Marcus, Caius," she said, indicating the other three, two black-haired, one pale blond. "Nighttime patrons of the arts."

"What happened to them?" I wondered aloud, my fingertip hovering a centimeter from the figures on the canvas.

"They're still there." She shrugged. "As they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to 'his natural food source,' as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see.

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine. But the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity.

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act—since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try…"

Her voice, nearly a whisper now, trailed off. She stared unseeingly through the west windows. I wondered which images filled her mind now, Carlisle's memories or her own. I waited quietly.

When she turned back to me, a gentle angel's smile lit her expression.

"And so we've come full circle," she concluded.

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then?" I wondered.

"Almost always." She put her hand lightly on my waist and pulled me with her as she walked through the door. I stared back at the wall of pictures, wondering if I would ever get to hear the other stories.

Edyth didn't say any more as we walked down the hall, so I asked, "Almost?"

She sighed, seeming reluctant to answer. "Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence—about ten years after I was… born… created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time."

"Really?" I was intrigued, rather than frightened, as I perhaps should have been.

She could tell. I vaguely realized that we were headed up the next flight of stairs, but I wasn't paying much attention to my surroundings.

"That doesn't repulse you?"

"No."

"Why not?"

"I guess… it sounds reasonable."

She barked a laugh, more loudly than before. We were at the top of the stairs now, in another paneled hallway.

"From the time of my new birth," she murmured, "I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle—I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the… depression… that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl—if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

I shivered, imagining only too clearly what she described—the alley at night, the frightened girl, the dark man behind her. And Edyth, Edyth as she hunted, terrible and glorious as an unstoppable godess. Would she have been grateful, that girl, or more frightened than before?

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

We'd come to a stop in front of the last door in the hall.

"My room," she informed me, opening it and leading me through.

Her room faced south, with a wall-sized window like the great room below. The whole back side of the house must be glass. Her view looked down on the winding Sol Duc River, across the untouched forest to the Olympic Mountain range. The mountains were much closer than I would have believed.

The western wall was completely covered with shelf after shelf of CDs. Her room was better stocked than a music store. In the corner was a sophisticated-looking sound system, the kind I could never afford. There was no bed, only a wide and inviting black leather sofa. The floor was covered with a thick golden carpet, and the walls were hung with heavy fabric in a slightly darker shade.

"Good acoustics?" I guessed.

She chuckled and nodded.

She picked up a remote and turned the stereo on. It was quiet, but the soft jazz number sounded like the band was in the room with us. I went to look at her mind-boggling music collection.

"How do you have these organized?" I asked, unable to find any rhyme or reason to the titles.

She wasn't paying attention.

"Ummm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame," she said absently.

I turned, and she was looking at me with a peculiar expression in her eyes.

"What?"

"I was prepared to feel…relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me… happy." She shrugged, smiling slightly.

"I'm glad," I said, smiling back. I'd worried that she might regret telling me these things. It was good to know that wasn't the case.

But then, as her eyes dissected my expression, her smile faded and her forehead creased.

"You're still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?" I guessed.

A faint smile touched her lips, and she nodded.

"I'm not scared of you." I said simply.

She stopped, raising her eyebrows in blatant disbelief. Then she flashed a wide, wicked smile.

"You really shouldn't have said that," she chuckled.

She growled, a low sound in the back of her throat; her lips curled back over her perfect teeth. Her body shifted suddenly, half-crouched, tensed like a lion about to pounce.

"Um… Edyth?"

I didn't see her leap at me—it was much too fast. I couldn't even understand what was happening. For half a second I was airborne and the room rolled around me, upside down and then right side up again. I didn't feel the landing, but suddenly I was on my back on the black leather couch and Edyth was on top of me, her knees tight against the sides of my hips, her hands planted on either side of my head so that I couldn't move, and she bared her. teeth just inches from my face.

"Wow," I breathed.

"You were saying?" she growled playfully.

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," I said, chuckling.

"Much better," she approved.

"Um." I struggled. "Can I get up now?"

"Mmm…" She smiled, "I don't think I'm done with you yet."

Edyth gently ran her cold lips along my jaw, then down my neck. She kissed my neck, growling softly.

"Edyth!" I laughed as I struggled in vain against her iron grip as electric shivers ran through my body.

She just laughed smugly as she kissed my throat.

"Can we come in?" a soft voice sounded from the hall.

Edyth groaned, and in a swift motion had moved me from underneath her to next to her, my legs draped over hers. I could see it was Alice, then, and Jasper behind her in the doorway. My cheeks burned, but Edyth seemed at ease, if not annoyed.

"Go ahead." Edyth sighed.

Alice seemed to find nothing unusual in our embrace; she walked—almost danced, her movements were so graceful—to the center of the room, where she folded herself sinuously onto the floor. Jasper, however, paused at the door, his expression a trifle shocked. He stared at Edyth's face, and I wondered if he was sensing the atmosphere with his unusual sensitivity.

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch, and we came to see if you would share," Alice announced.

I stiffened for an instant, until I realized Edyth was grinning—whether at her comment or my response, I couldn't tell.

"Sorry, I'm not in a mood to share," she replied, her arms holding me recklessly close. "In fact, I wasn't even done myself."

Alice shrugged, "Fair enough."

"Actually," Jasper said, smiling despite himself as he walked into the room, "Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?"

The words were all common enough, but the context confused me. I gathered that Alice was a bit more reliable than the weatherman, though.

Edyth's eyes lit up, but she hesitated.

"Of course you should bring Bella," Alice chirped. I thought I saw Jasper throw a quick glance at her.

"Do you want to go?" Edyth asked me, excited, her expression vivid.

"Sure." I couldn't say no to that face. "Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball—you'll see why," she promised.

"Will I need an umbrella?"

All three laughed aloud.

"Will she?" Jasper asked Alice.

"No." She was positive. "The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good, then." The enthusiasm in Jasper's voice was catching, naturally. I found myself eager, rather than scared stiff.

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come." Alice bounded up to the door in a fashion that would break any ballerina's heart.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased, and they were swiftly on their way. Jasper managed to inconspicuously close the door behind them.

"What will we be playing?" I asked.

"You will be watching," Edyth clarified. "We will be playing baseball."

I looked at her skeptically. "Vampires like baseball?"

"It's the American pastime," she said with mock solemnity.

I snickered at her, and she grinned.

"Now," a wicked look on her face, "where were we?"

I giggled in protest as we rolled around on the couch while she kissed my neck and jaw.


	33. Carlisle Edyth pov

I led her back down the hallway to Carlisle's office, pausing outside the door in order to give Carlisle an opportunity to invite us in.

"Come in," Carlisle's voice called, a tinge of amusement barely detectable in his tone.

I opened the door to Carlisle's office. I watched Bellas eyes drift to the high-vaulted ceilings, the tall windows, and the dark paneled walls. Her eyes widened as she took in the sheer number of books Carlisle kept in the space.

Carlisle sat in his usual place behind the mammoth mahogany desk. He placed a bookmark in his book and set it down on the desk, his eyes rising to meet Bella's who was watching him with a strange mixture of surprise and confusion.

"What can I do for you?" Carlisle asked as he rose from his leather chair.

"I wanted to show Bella some of our history," I said. "Well, your history, actually."

"We didn't mean to disturb you," Bella apologized.

So polite."Not at all. Where are you going to start?" Carlisle smiled.

"The Waggoner," I replied, gently placing my hand on her warm shoulder and turning her around back towards the entrance to the room. I could hear her heart flutter slightly at my touch and my mind reeled with questions. What did I do? I tried not to think about it, lest I become frustrated.

Bella's eyes scanned the wall, taking in the nearly overflowing number of framed pictures. Her eyes scanned past the brightly colored paintings and lingered on the paintings with more monochromatic tones, which made sense; she liked earth tones. Her eyebrows furrowed slightly, like she didn't understand something about the paintings, but I couldn't begin to guess her thought process.

I led her toward the far-left side, stopping her in front a small square painting. Her eyes studied the varying tones of sepia, the details of the miniature city of steeply slanted roofs and thin spires. I knew the painting well, having spent more time than I cared to admit studying the towers and the little bridge that crossed the wide river.

"London in the sixteen-fifties," I said, answering Bella's unspoken question.

"The London of my youth," Carlisle added, from just behind us. Bella flinched in surprise; I realized she wouldn't have heard Carlisle approach. I took her hand and gave it a gentle, reassuring squeeze.

"Will you tell the story?" I asked. Bella twisted slightly to look at Carlisle.

Carlisle met Bella's glance and smiled. "I would," he replied. "But I'm actually running a bit late. The hospital called this morning—Dr. Snow is taking a sick day. Besides, you know the stories as well as I do," he added, grinning at me I'm sure Bella would rather hear them from you.

I raised my eyebrow slightly at Carlisle, letting a tiny smirk dance on the corner of my lips. I couldn't be disappointed, more time alone with Bella was all I could ask for in this world.

Carlisle gave Bella another warm smile and left the room.

Bella's eyes returned to the small painting and lingered for a long moment.

"What happened then?" she finally asked, staring up at me, catching me watching her. "When he realized what had happened to him?"

I reluctantly pulled my eyes away from her beautiful face and back to the paintings on the wall. This time my eyes landed on the large landscape slightly to the right of the first painting. Bella's eyes followed mine and in my peripheral vision I could see her study the dull fall colors of the empty, shadowed meadow in the painting.

"When he knew what he had become," I said quietly, "he rebelled against it. He tried to destroy himself. But that's not easily done."

"How?" Bella asked suddenly, like she hadn't meant to say it aloud. The shock was evident in her voice.

"He jumped from great heights," I told her, impassively. "He tried to drown himself in the ocean… but he was young to the new life, and very strong. It is amazing that he was able to resist…" I paused, the word caught in my throat slightly, "feeding…" I quickly glanced down to check for a reaction, but Anna didn't seem bothered, so I continued, "while he was still so new. The instinct is more powerful then, it takes over everything. But he was so repelled by himself that he had the strength to try and kill himself with starvation."

"Is that possible?" Bella's voice was faint.

"No, there are very few ways we can be killed."

She opened her mouth to ask a question about what I had said, but I continued before she could. I didn't want to answer such a dark question.

"So he grew very hungry, and eventually weak. He strayed as far as he could from the human populace, recognizing that his willpower was weakening, too. For months he wandered by night, seeking the loneliest places, loathing himself.

"One night, a herd of deer passed his hiding place. He was so wild with thirst that he attacked without a thought. His strength returned, and he realized there was an alternative to being the vile monster he feared. Had he not eaten venison in his former life? Over the next months, his new philosophy was born. He could exist without being a demon. He found himself again.

"He began to make better use of his time. He'd always been intelligent, eager to learn. Now he had unlimited time before him. He studied by night, planned by day. He swam to France and—"

"He swam to France?" Bella interrupted, an incredulous look on her face.

"People swim the Channel all the time, Bella," I reminded her, amused by her expression.

"Okay, but people don'tswimtoFrance."

"Swimming is easy for us—"

"What isn't easy for you?" She griped.

I waited this time before speaking, amused by her put out expression.

She glanced up at me, huffed quietly, and locked her eyes back on the painting. "I won't interrupt again, I promise."

I chuckled at her petulant tone and finished. "Because, technically, we don't need to breath."

"You—" She whirled around to face me.

"No, no, you promised." I laughed, lightly pressing my finger to her warm lips. "Do you want to hear the story or not?"

"You can't spring something like that on me and then expect me not to say anything," she mumbled against my finger.

The feeling of her warm breath against my cold skin was thrilling in an odd way, but not nearly enough. I wanted to feel the warmth of her lips, of her breath against my own lips. I collected my thoughts enough to lift my hand and move it to rest against her, neck.

"You don't have to breath?" She demanded.

"No, it's not necessary. Just a habit." I shrugged. It had been so long now that even I hadn't thought much about it.

"How long can you go… without breathing?"

"Indefinitely, I suppose; I don't know. It gets a bit uncomfortable—being without a sense of smell."

"A bit uncomfortable," she echoed the words in disbelief.

Her expression stopped me then. Her eyes were wide with confusion and her expression betrayed her shock. I could feel my own expression grow somber as I studied her face. I dropped my hand to my side, feeling myself turned to stone as studied her face. The silence continued to drag on, I couldn't bring myself to speak.

"What is it?" Bella finally whispered, putting her hand on my cheek.

Her touch was as electric as ever, and I couldn't stay so serious when she touched me so gently, I sighed. "I keep waiting for it to happen."

"For what to happen?"

"I know that at some point, something I tell you or something you see is going to be too much. And then you'll run away from me, screaming as you go." I managed half a smile, but it was just a show, I was sure she could see how it didn't meet my eyes. "I won't stop you. I want you to run, I want you to be safe. And yet, I want to be with you. The two desires are impossible to reconcile…"

I trailed off, watching her face, examining every minute change. I waited for her response.

"I'm not running anywhere," she promised.

"We'll see," I smiled sadly back at her.

She frowned at me. "So, go on—Carlisle was swimming to France."

I paused, trying to reclaim my momentum in the story while simultaneously trying to comprehend how Bella could remain so calm after being confronted with everything she had seen and learned so far. Trying to pick up the story again, my eyes reflexively flickered to another painting on the wall—the most ostentatious of them all. Bella's gaze followed mine to the colorful, ornately framed painting, her expression became confused again as she tried to make sense of the bright figures and swirling colors.

"Carlisle swam to France, and continued on through Europe, to the universities there. By night he studied music, science, medicine—and found his calling, his penance, in that, in saving human lives." I couldn't conceal my own awed reverence for Carlisle in my expression. "I can't adequately describe the struggle; it took Carlisle two centuries of torturous efforts to perfect his self-control. Now he is all but immune to the scent of human blood, and he is able to do the work he loves without agony. He finds a great deal of peace there, at the hospital…" I wondered if I could ever gain that level of self-control, if ever I could be around Bella and keep myself so contained and controlled that her blood didn't claw at my basest most animalistic desires. I realized Bella was watching me expectantly and continued my story. I tapped the gilded frame of the huge painting in front of us.

"He was studying in Italy when he discovered the others there. They were much more civilized and educated than the wraiths of the London Sewers."

I gestured to the top part of the portrait where the quartet of unnaturally beautiful figures stood on a balcony looking down in silent judgement of the rabble below. Bella leaned forward and examined the faces carefully, after a moment she let out a startled laugh with her eyes fixed on the golden-haired man.

"Solimena was greatly inspired by Carlisle's friends. He often painted them as gods," I chuckled. "Aro, Marcus, Caius," I said, indicating the other three figures standing with Carlisle. "Nighttime patrons of the arts."

"What happened then?" Bella wondered aloud, her fingertip hovering just a centimeter from the two dark-haired and pale blond figures I had named.

"They're still there." I shrugged. "As they have been for who knows how many millennia. Carlisle stayed with them only for a short time, just a few decades. He greatly admired their civility, their refinement, but they persisted in trying to cure his aversion to 'his natural food source,' as they called it. They tried to persuade him, and he tried to persuade them, to no avail. At that point, Carlisle decided to try the New World. He dreamed of finding others like himself. He was very lonely, you see.

"He didn't find anyone for a long time. But, as monsters became the stuff of fairy tales, he found he could interact with unsuspecting humans as if he were one of them. He began practicing medicine, but the companionship he craved evaded him; he couldn't risk familiarity.

"When the influenza epidemic hit, he was working nights in a hospital in Chicago. He'd been turning over an idea in his mind for several years, and he had almost decided to act—since he couldn't find a companion, he would create one. He wasn't absolutely sure how his own transformation had occurred, so he was hesitant. And he was loath to steal anyone's life the way his had been stolen. It was in that frame of mind that he found me. There was no hope for me; I was left in a ward with the dying. He had nursed my parents, and knew I was alone. He decided to try…"

I was barely speaking above a whisper now as I trailed off. My eyes drifted, unseeingly, to the west facing windows. My mind was full of memories, not only my own hazy recollections but also Carlisle's crystal-clear memories that I had seen in his mind. His had become the ones I usually looked back on now, as my actual memories were not nearly as solid.

Bella was quiet at my side. I turned back to her and her patient, adoring expression brought a smile to my face.

"And so we've come full circle," I finished.

"Have you always stayed with Carlisle, then?" She wondered.

"Almost always." I put my hand on her waist and pulled her alongside me as I walked through the door. Her eyes lingered back on the wall of paintings, a curious expression in her face. I hoped she wouldn't question any further about the tenure of my stay with Carlisle.

"Almost?" She asked, because of course she would.

I sighed, reluctant to answer, but the more I kept from her the more curious she would be, and I knew better than most how persistent she could be. "Well, I had a typical bout of rebellious adolescence—about ten years after I was… born… created, whatever you want to call it. I wasn't sold on his life of abstinence, and I resented him for curbing my appetite. So I went off on my own for a time."

"Really?" Her voice was full of intrigue and curiosity, rather than the fear or repulsion I had expected. Never the reaction I expected.

I continued to lead her up the next flight of stairs, trying to understand her backwards reactions, she only seemed vaguely aware of her surroundings, like she was deep in thought her,self.

"That doesn't repulse you?" I finally questioned.

"No." She said simply.

"Why not?"

"I guess… it sounds reasonable." She shrugged, casually.

I let out an unbecoming bark of a laugh at her relaxed tone. We had reached the top of the stairs now, and I led her down the paneled hallway. Since there was no point in being effusive with her, I decided to continue with my story.

"From the time of my new birth," I murmured, "I had the advantage of knowing what everyone around me was thinking, both human and non-human alike. That's why it took me ten years to defy Carlisle—I could read his perfect sincerity, understand exactly why he lived the way he did.

"It took me only a few years to return to Carlisle and recommit to his vision. I thought I would be exempt from the… depression… that accompanies a conscience. Because I knew the thoughts of my prey, I could pass over the innocent and pursue only the evil. If I followed a murderer down a dark alley where he stalked a young girl—if I saved her, then surely I wasn't so terrible."

Bella shivered, and I wondered what she was thinking about. No doubt she was imagining me as a monster stalking the streets in the dead of night, vicious and feral hunting down poor defenseless humans. I tried not to think about it and continued, hoping the ending of my story would redeem me in her eyes.

"But as time went on, I began to see the monster in my eyes. I couldn't escape the debt of so much human life taken, no matter how justified. And I went back to Carlisle and Esme. They welcomed me back like the prodigal. It was more than I deserved."

We'd come to a stop in from of the last door in the hall—my door.

"My room," I informed her, trying to sound casual as I opened the door and led her, through.

She looked around my bedroom, her eyes immediately shot to the full wall window facing south. Her eyes danced along the winding Sol Duc River, across to the untouched forest to the Olympic Mountain range. She seemed surprised by them for some reason I couldn't understand.

She pulled her eyes away from the strangely surprising mountains to study the western wall of my room. She took in the shelves of CDs, the sound system, the leather sofa, the thick golden carpet, and the wall curtains.

"Good acoustics?" She offered.

I chuckled and nodded.

I picked up the remote and turned the stereo on, filling the room with soft jazz music. She smiled slightly, then wandered over to my collection of music. She stared at the different CDs for a long while, turning her head to the left then the right. Her eyebrows furrowed the longer she looked, I wondered what she could possibly be thinking. I stood and watched her, letting myself revel in the moment. I let the relief wash over me, the sense of near-normalcy that I now felt as she stood here in my room, in my family's home, like I was a normal girlfriend—like we were a normal couple. There was more than relief, there was a feeling—an emotion I was largely unaccustomed to.

"How do you have these organized?" She asked, pulling me from my thoughts.

"Umm, by year, and then by personal preference within that frame," I answered absently, still deep in thought.

She turned, and something in my expression made her tilt her head to the side and raise an eyebrow.

"What?"

"I was prepared to feel… relieved. Having you know about everything, not needing to keep secrets from you. But I didn't expect to feel more than that. I like it. It makes me…" I racked my brain for the word and it came to me in a blissful rush, "happy." I shrugged, smiling slightly.

"I'm glad," she said, smiling back. I sensed relief in her expression.

This should have made me happier, and yet… I couldn't help but feel that it would be fleeting, that it would all come crashing down without warning.

She noted the change in my own expression. I realized my smile had faded and my forehead was creased.

"You're still waiting for the running and the screaming, aren't you?" She sighed.

Correct, as usual. I couldn't stop the smile from touching my lips and nodded.

"I'm not scared of you." She said simply, assuredly.

This stopped me short, my eyebrows raised in disbelief. She wasn't scared of me? Impossible. She had to be bluffing! No… She wasn't bluffing. She truly was not scared of me. This made me smile, wide and wickedly, as an impulse flashed through me.

"You really shouldn't have said that," I chuckled. If she wasn't scared of me, then I would show her what she should be afraid of.

I growled, low and throaty; my lips curled back over my venomous teeth. I shifted into a half-crouch, like I did when I hunted. I kept my body tense and ready.

"Um… Edyth?"

She wouldn't see me leap at her—I was far too quick for her eyes to register the movement. I caught her, mid-leap, in the gentlest grip I could manage and flipped her over towards the leather sofa. I set her down on her back so gently I wondered if she even felt it. She stared up at me with bewildered eyes as I crouched over her. My knees were tight against the sides of her hips, locking her in place, and my hands were planted on either side of her head so that she couldn't move. I bared my teeth just inches from her face.

"Wow," she breathed. It wasn't fear, per se, it was… excitement? I felt a surge of excitement pulse through me.

"You were saying?" I growled playfully.

"That you are a very, very terrifying monster," she said, chuckling.

"Much better."

"Um."She struggled against me, vainly. "Can I get up now?"

"Mmm…" I smiled, my impulsive side winning out over my better judgement. "I don't think I'm done with you yet."

I gently ran my lips along her jaw, then down her perfect neck. Her heart thudded against her chest as I softly kissed her neck.

"Edyth!" She laughed, futilely struggling against my grip. Her heartbeat was erratic and wild as shivers ran down her body.

I could only laugh in triumph as I kissed her throat.

"Can we come in?" Alice's voice sounded from the hall.

Damn! I groaned. How did I not hear her and Jasper coming before now? Well, I was quite preoccupied, I supposed. I quickly rearranged us on the sofa, placing her next to me and draping her legs over mine just as Alice and Jasper appeared in the doorway. Bella's cheeks were an exquisitely tempting shade of scarlet, which tempered my annoyance with amusement and not just a little desire.

"Go ahead." I sighed.

Alice was doing a good job of keeping her thoughts jumbled enough that I couldn't be sure exactly what she was thinking, she glided to the center of the room and folded herself onto the floor. I wondered what she was keeping from me, but the tenor of her thoughts seemed excited, so it wasn't bad news. Jasper, however, could not keep his thoughts contained.

Have you no shame?Jasper's thoughts matched his shocked face having her that close… and, boy, the mood is… tense… and stared at my face and I wondered how the atmosphere must feel to him.

"It sounded like you were having Bella for lunch," Alice cooed, "and we came to see if you would share."

Bella stiffened for a moment and I grinned widely, both at Alice's teasing and Bella's reaction. She noticed my reaction and forced herself to relax.

"Sorry, I'm not in the mood to share," I answered, pulling Bella even closer to me—recklessly, dangerously close. "In fact, I wasn't even done myself."

Alice shrugged, "Fair enough."

"Actually," Jasper said, surprising me by smiling himself as he walked into the room, "Alice says there's going to be a real storm tonight, and Emmett wants to play ball. Are you game?"

Bella's expression was one of blank confusion, like she didn't understand anything Jasper had just said.

I couldn't hide my excitement, but I hesitated for a moment.

Alice understood immediately. "Of course you should bring Bella," she chirped. Jasper shot a slightly wary glance at her, which she ignored. Whatever Jasper was concerned about, he somehow managed to keep it from his thoughts.

"Do you want to go?" I asked Bella, not bothering to hide my excitement.

"Sure." She smiled up at me. "Um, where are we going?"

"We have to wait for thunder to play ball—you'll see why," I promised her.

"Will I need an umbrella?"

We all laughed at her fantastically pragmatic question.

"Will she?" Jasper asked Alice.

"No." She very sure, and I watched the vision with her. "The storm will hit over town. It should be dry enough in the clearing."

"Good, then." Jasper was warming up, and the enthusiasm in his voice radiated out of him into the room. I imagined even Bella was beginning to feel it now.

"Let's go see if Carlisle will come." Alice lept up from her seated position to the door in one quick, fluid motion.

"Like you don't know," Jasper teased, as they swiftly left behave yourself, Edyth. Jasper thought as he quietly closed the door.

"What will we be playing?" Bella asked.

"You will be watching," I answered. "We will be playing baseball."

Her expression was skeptical. "Vampires play baseball?"

"It's the American pastime," I said with mock solemnity.

She snickered at me, and I grinned in response.

"Now," I smiled, feeling reckless and irresponsible again, "where were we?"

She giggled in a poor show of protest as we tumbled around the couch while I kissed her neck and jaw.

The worst was over now, and we had everything to look forward to.


	34. the game Bella pov

IT WAS JUST BEGINNING TO DRIZZLE WHEN EDYTH turned onto my street. Up until that moment, I'd had no doubt that she'd be staying with me while I spent a few interim hours in the real world.

And then I saw the black car, a weathered Ford, parked in Charlie's driveway—and heard Edyth mutter something unintelligible in a low, harsh voice.

Leaning away from the rain under the shallow front porch, Julie Black stood behind her father's wheelchair. Billy's face was impassive as stone as Edyth parked my truck against the curb. Julie stared down, her expression mortified.

Edyth's low voice was furious. "This is crossing the line."

"He came to warn Charlie?" I guessed, more horrified than angry.

Edyth just nodded, answering Billy's gaze through the rain with narrowed eyes.

I felt weak with relief that Charlie wasn't home yet.

"Let me deal with this," I suggested. Edyth's black glare made me anxious.

To my surprise, she agreed. "That's probably best. Be careful, though. The child has no idea."

I bridled a little at the wordchild. "Julie is not that much younger than I am," I reminded her.

She looked at me then, her anger abruptly fading. "Oh, I know," she assured me with a grin.

I sighed and put my hand on the door handle.

"Get them inside," she instructed, "so I can leave. I'll be back around dusk."

"Do you want my truck?" I offered, meanwhile wondering how I would explain its absence to Charlie.

She rolled her eyes. "I couldwalkhome faster than this truck moves."

"You don't have to leave," I said wistfully.

She smiled at my glum expression. "Actually, I do. After you get rid of them"—she threw a dark glance in the Blacks' direction—"you still have to prepare Charlie to meet your new girlfriend." She grinned widely, showing all of her teeth.

I groaned. "Thanks a lot."

She smiled the crooked smile that I loved. "I'll be back soon," she promised. Her eyes flickered back to the porch, and then she leaned in to swiftly kiss me just under the edge of my jaw. My heart lurched frantically, and I, too, glanced toward the porch. Billy's face was no longer impassive, and his hands clutched at the armrests of his chair.

"Soon," I stressed as I opened the door and stepped out into the rain.

I could feel her eyes on my back as I half-ran through the light sprinkle toward the porch.

"Hey, Billy. Hi, Julie." I greeted them as cheerfully as I could manage. "Charlie's gone for the day—I hope you haven't been waiting long."

"Not long," Billy said in a subdued tone. His black eyes were piercing. "I just wanted to bring this up." He indicated a brown paper sack resting in his lap.

"Thanks," I said, though I had no idea what it could be. "Why don't you come in for a minute and dry off?"

I pretended to be oblivious to his intense scrutiny as I unlocked the door, and waved them in ahead of me.

"Here, let me take that," I offered, turning to shut the door. I allowed myself one last glance at Edythe. She was waiting, perfectly still, her eyes solemn.

"You'll want to put it in the fridge," Billy noted as he handed me the package. "It's some of Harry Clearwater's homemade fish fry—Charlie's favorite. The fridge keeps it drier." He shrugged.

"Thanks," I repeated, but with feeling this time. "I was running out of new ways to fix fish, and he's bound to bring home more tonight."

"Fishing again?" Billy asked with a subtle gleam in his eye. "Down at the usual spot? Maybe I'll run by and see him."

"No," I quickly lied, my face going hard. "He was headed someplace new… but I have no idea where."

He took in my changed expression, and it made him thoughtful.

"Jules," he said, still appraising me. "Why don't you go get that new picture of Rebecca out of the car? I'll leave that for Charlie, too."

"Where is it?" Julie asked, her voice morose. I glanced at her, but she was staring at the floor, her eyebrows pulling together.

"I think I saw it in the trunk," Billy said. "You may have to dig for it."

Julie slouched back out into the rain.

Billy and I faced each other in silence. After a few seconds, the quiet started to feel awkward, so I turned and headed to the kitchen. I could hear his wet wheels squeak against the linoleum as he followed.

I shoved the bag onto the crowded top shelf of the fridge, and spun around to confront him. His deeply lined face was unreadable.

"Charlie won't be back for a long time." My voice was almost rude.

He nodded in agreement, but said nothing.

"Thanks again for the fish fry," I hinted.

He continued nodding. I sighed and folded my arms across my chest.

He seemed to sense that I had given up on small talk. "Bella," he said, and then he hesitated.

I waited.

"Bella," he said again, "Charlie is one of my best friends."

"Yes."

He spoke each word carefully in his rumbling voice. "I noticed you've been spending time with one of the Cullens."

"Yes," I repeated curtly.

His eyes narrowed. "Maybe it's none of my business, but I don't think that is such a good idea."

"You're right," I agreed. "It is none of your business."

He raised his graying eyebrows at my tone. "You probably don't know this, but the Cullen family has an unpleasant reputation on the reservation."

"Actually, I did know that," I informed him in a hard voice. This surprised him. "But that reputation couldn't be deserved, could it? Because the Cullens never set foot on the reservation, do they?" I could see that my less than subtle reminder of the agreement that both bound and protected his tribe pulled him up short.

"That's true," he acceded, his eyes guarded. "You seem… well informed about the Cullens. More informed than I expected."

I stared him down. "Maybe even better informed than you are."

He pursed his thick lips as he considered that. "Maybe," he allowed, but his eyes were shrewd. "Is Charlie as well informed?"

He had found the weak chink in my armor.

"Charlie likes the Cullens a lot," I hedged. He clearly understood my evasion. His expression was unhappy, but unsurprised.

"It's not my business," he said. "But it may be Charlie's."

"Though it would be my business, again, whether or not I think that it's Charlie's business, right?"

I wondered if he even understood my confused question as I struggled not to say anything compromising. But he seemed to. He thought about it while the rain picked up against the roof, the only sound breaking the silence.

"Yes," he finally surrendered. "I guess that's your business, too."

I sighed with relief. "Thanks, Billy."

"Just think about what you're doing, Bella," he urged.

"Okay," I agreed quickly.

He frowned. "What I meant to say was, don't do what you're doing."

I looked into his eyes, filled with nothing but concern for me, and there was nothing I could say.

Just then the front door banged loudly, and I jumped at the sound.

"There's no picture anywhere in that car." Julie's complaining voice reached us before she did. The shoulders of her shirt were stained with the rain, her hair dripping, when she rounded the corner.

"Hmm," Billy grunted, suddenly detached, spinning his chair around to face his daughter. "I guess I left it at home."

Julie rolled her eyes dramatically. "Great."

"Well, Bella, tell Charlie"—Billy paused before continuing—"that we stopped by, I mean."

"I will," I muttered.

Julie was surprised. "Are we leaving already?"

"Charlie's gonna be out late," Billy explained as he rolled himself past Julie.

"Oh." Julie looked disappointed. "Well, I guess I'll see you later, then, Bella."

"Sure," I agreed.

"Take care," Billy warned me. I didn't answer.

Julie helped her father out the door. I waved briefly, glancing swiftly toward my now-empty truck, and then shut the door before they were gone.

I stood in the hallway for a minute, listening to the sound of their car as it backed out and drove away. I stayed where I was, waiting for the irritation and anxiety to subside. When the tension eventually faded a bit, I headed upstairs to change out of my nicer clothes into something suitable for baseball.

I dug through my closet, not sure what to expect tonight. As I concentrated on what was coming, what had just happened seemed insignificant. Now that I was removed from Jasper's and Edyth's influence, I began to make up for not being terrified before. A whole morning in a house full of vampires and I had survived, not only that, I had met my vampire girlfriend's family. This was serious and dangerous and now I was going to play baseball with vampires in the rain.

I felt the panic rise in my chest; I took a few deep breaths. But I had to remember that I chose this; I made the decision to follow this through. The danger was present, I couldn't fault Billy for being concerned, but I trusted Edyth and I trusted her family. Maybe my trust was given too freely, but Edyth made it clear that I was always in danger around her and that she would do whatever she could to keep me safe. From her family, from any threat, and especially from herself. I gave up quickly on choosing a practical outfit—throwing on an old flannel shirt and jeans—knowing I would be in my raincoat all night anyway.

My reverie was interrupted by the sound of the phone ringing. I sprinted downstairs to get it. Picking up the phone and remembering to say hello seemed impossible, like I had never done it before. My head was spinning with all my thoughts about the situation I was in.

"Hello?" I managed, awkwardly.

"Bella? It's me," Jeremy said.

"Jeremy? Jeremy, hey, how are you?" It felt like months rather than days since I'd spoken to Jeremy. "How was the dance?"

"It was so much fun!" Jeremy gushed. Needing no more invitation than that, he launched into a minute-by-minute account of the previous night. Despite the difficult time I was having concentrating, it was nice to listen to him. Jeremy, Makayla, the dance, the school—they all seemed so far-away. It was grounding to be reminded of reality; to hear how easy it was to just be a human in love with a human. My mind began to wander as I contemplated that thought.

"Did you hear what I said, Bella?" Jeremy asked, suddenly irritated.

"I'm so sorry, Jeremy, what?"

"I said, Makayla kissed me! Can you believe it?"

"No way!" I laughed, "At the dance?"

"During the last slow dance of the night! She just kissed me!" he sounded so happy, I couldn't help but smile. "It was perfect."

How easy it must be, to just kiss your girlfriend at a dance and not have her want to drink your blood. "That's wonderful, Jeremy," I said.

"So what did you do yesterday?" Jeremy challenged, his voice full of eagerness.

"Oh, well, I went out and enjoyed the sun." I said. Well, it wasn't a lie.

I heard Charlie's car in the driveway.

"Did you ever hear anything more from Edyth Cullen?"

The front door slammed and I could hear Charlie banging around under the stairs, putting his tackle away.

"Um, well, about that…" I started slowly.

Jeremy practically screamed with excitement, "Tell me everything!" he squealed.

"Hi there, kiddo!" Charlie called as he walked into the kitchen. I waved at him.

Jeremy heard his voice. "Oh, you're dad's there." he sounded devastated, I couldn't help but snicker a little. "Never mind—we'll talk tomorrow. Bella Swan, you better tell me everything."

"See you in Trig, Jeremy." I laughed.

"See ya, Bella!" I heard the phone click, and hung up the phone.

"Hey, Dad," I said. He was scrubbing his hands in the sink. "Where's the fish?"

"I put it out in the freezer."

"I'll go grab a few pieces before they freeze—Billy dropped off some of Harry Clearwater's fish fry this afternoon." I worked to sound enthusiastic.

"He did?" Charlie's eyes lit up. "That's my favorite."

Charlie cleaned up while I got dinner ready. It didn't take long until we were sitting at the table, eating in silence. Charlie was enjoying his food. I was wondering how to even begin the conversation, how to bring up the word girlfriend without it feeling as sudden as I knew it was.

"What did you do with yourself today?" he asked, snapping me out of my reverie.

"Well, this afternoon I just hung around the house…" Only the very recent part of this afternoon, actually. I tried to keep my voice upbeat, but my stomach was in knots. "And this morning I was over at the Cullens."

Charlie dropped his fork, my heart landed somewhere with it.

"Dr. Cullen's place?" He asked in astonishment.

I pretended not to notice his reaction. "Yeah."

"What were you doing there?" He hadn't picked his fork back up.

"Well, I sort of have a date with Edyth Cullen tonight, and she wanted to introduce me to her parents

He narrowed his eyes but his look was more curious than anything, "Is this Ella your girlfriend?"

Oh, god."It's Edyth, Dad."

"Is she?"

"I don't know, maybe."

"You said last night that you weren't interested in any of the girls in town." But he picked up his fork again, so I could tell the worst was over.

"Well, Edyth doesn't live in town, Dad."

He gave me a disparaging look as he chewed. "Why didn't you say something? Was I being too nosey?"

"No, Dad, not at all. It's just… this is all kind of new, you know? I didn't want to jinx it."

"Huh." He reflected for a minute while he ate another bite. "So you went to meet her folks, eh?"

"Er, yeah. I mean, I already knew Dr. Cullen. But I got to meet her mother."

"Esme Cullen is great—real quiet, but very… kind, I guess is the best word for it. She's a very kind lady."

"Yeah, she is."

"Meeting the parents, though. Isn't that kind of serious? Doesn't that mean she's your girlfriend?"

"Yeah." I felt a smile appearing on my face, despite myself. "I guess she's my girlfriend."

Charlie was trying to look serious—tough dad act—but I could see he was fighting a smile. He seemed genuinely happy.

"So, do I get to meet her?"

I raised an eyebrow. "Will you be on your best behavior?"

He lifted both hands. "What, me? Have I ever embarrassed you before?"

"Have I ever brought over a girl before?"

He huffed, trying to hide a laugh, then changed the subject. "Is she picking you up? When is she coming over?"

"She should be here in a few minutes."

"Where is she taking you?"

"Well, I guess the plan is we're going to play baseball with her family."

Charlie stared at me for one second, and then he busted up. I rolled my eyes and waited for him to finish. "You're playing baseball? You hate sports!"

"Well, I'll probably just watch."

"You must really like this girl."

I thought about shrugging, but I just smiled. "Yeah," I said. "I really do."

I heard an unfamiliar engine roar up to the house, and I looked up in surprise. I jumped up and started cleaning the dishes.

"Oh, leave the dishes, I can do them tonight. Go get ready."

I froze, looking at him suspiciously. I wanted to go brush my teeth, but letting Charlie answer the door made me nervous. He could sense my hesitation.

The doorbell rang, and Charlie stalked off to answer it.

"Dad, be nice."

He spun around and rolled his eyes at me, making a halo sign around his head with his hand. "Oh, go on," he shooed me away.

I bolted up the stairs to the bathroom, grabbing my toothbrush and furiously brushing my teeth.

I heard Charlie open the door downstairs. "Come on in, Edyth."

I was relieved that Charlie got her name right.

"Thank you, Chief Swan," I heard Edyth say in a respectful voice.

"Go ahead and call me Charlie. Here, I'll take your jacket."

"Thanks, sir."

I finished up in the bathroom and flew down the stairs, they were waiting for me at the bottom. Charlie was doing his best to look stern, Edyth was beaming at me.

"Hi," I breathed, sounding more out of breath than I realized I was.

"Have a seat there, Edyth." Charlie gestured towards the living room.

I grimaced.

Edyth sat down fluidly in the only chair, forcing me to sit next to Chief Swan on the sofa. I quickly shot her a dirty look. She winked behind Charlie's back.

"So I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball." Only in Washington would the fact that it was absolutely pouring outside have no bearing at all on the playing of outdoor sports.

"Yes, sir, hopefully Bella doesn't mind spending time with my family."

"I'd say it was the baseball she'd mind more."

They both laughed. I shot my dad a look. Where was the best behavior I was promised?

"Should we be on our way?" I suggested. I walked to the hall and pulled on my jacket. They followed.

"Not too late, Bella."

"Don't worry, Charlie, I'll have her home early," Edyth promised.

"You take care of her, all right?"

"She'll be safe with me, I promise sir."

Charlie couldn't doubt Edyth's sincerity, it rang in every word.

I awkwardly inched out the door, Charlie chuckled, and Edyth followed me.

I stopped dead on the porch. There, behind my truck, was a monster Jeep. Its tires were as high as my waist. There were metal guards over the headlights and taillights, and four large spotlights attached to the crash bar. The hardtop was shiny red.

Charlie let out a low whistle.

Wear your seat belts," he choked out.

Edyth followed me around to my side and opened the door. I gauged the distance to the seat and prepared to jump for it. She chuckled, and then lifted me in with one hand. I hoped Charlie didn't notice.

As she went around to the driver's side, at a normal, human pace, I tried to put on my seat belt. But there were too many buckles.

"What's all this?" I asked when she opened the door.

"It's an off-roading harness."

"Oh, god."

I tried to find the right places for all the buckles to fit, but my frustration must have been evident on my face. She smiled and reached over to help me. I was glad that the rain was too heavy to see Charlie clearly on the porch. That meant he couldn't see how Edyth's hand lingered at my neck, brushed along my collarbone. I gave up trying to help her and focused on taking a few deep breaths.

Edyth turned the key and the engine roared to life. We pulled away from the house.

"This is a… um…bigJeep you have."

"It's Emmett's. I didn't think you'd want to run the whole way."

"Where do you keep this thing?"

"We remodeled one of the outbuildings into a garage."

"Oh, of course." I rolled my eyes.

She glanced at me, grinning.

Then something sunk in.

"Run thewholeway? As in, we're still going to run part of the way?" My voice started sounding nervous.

She continued grinning. "You're not going to run."

"I don't need to spend the evening suffering from a dizzy spell in front of your family."

"Keep your eyes closed, you should be fine."

I shook my head, sighed, then reached over and took her hand. "Hi. I missed you."

She laughed and interlocked her fingers with mine. "I missed you, too. Isn't that strange?"

"Strange?"

"You'd think I'd have learned more patience over the last hundred years. And here I am, finding it difficult to pass an afternoon without you."

"I'm okay with that." I smiled.

She leaned over to kiss the top of my head, and then let out a long groan. I looked at her, puzzled.

"You smell so good in the rain," she explained.

"In a good way, or in a bad way?"

She sighed. "Both, always both."

I don't know how she found her way in the gloom and downpour, but she somehow found a side road that was less of a road and more of a mountain path. For a long while conversation was impossible, because I was bouncing up and down on the seat like a jackhammer. She seemed to enjoy the ride, though, smiling hugely the whole way.

And then we came to the end of the road; the trees formed green walls on three sides of the Jeep. The rain was a mere drizzle, slowing every second, the sky brighter through the clouds.

"Sorry, Bella, we'll have to go on foot from here."

"You know what? I'll just wait here."

"What happened to all your courage? You were extraordinary this morning."

"I haven't forgotten the last time yet." Could it have been only yesterday?

She was around to my side of the car in a blur. She started unbuckling me.

"I'll get those, you go on ahead," I protested. She was finished before I got the first few words out.

I sat in the car, looking at her.

"You don't trust me?" She asked, her voice full of mock hurt.

"Trust really isn't the issue. Me being a dizzy mess on the ground is the issue."

She laughed, pulled me from the Jeep, and set my feet on the ground. It was barely misting now; Alice was going to be right.

"Do you remember what I was saying about mind over matter?" she asked.

"Yes…"

"Maybe if you concentrated on something else."

"Like what?"

She smiled and placed her hands against the Jeep on either side of my head and leaned forward, and I leaned back against the door. She leaned in even closer, her face inches from mine.

"When we're running—and yes, that part is nonnegotiable—I want you to concentrate on this."

Slowly, she moved in closer, turning her face to the side so that we were cheek to cheek, her lips at my ear. One of her hands slide down to my waist.

"Just remember us… like this…"

Her lips pulled softly on my earlobe, then moved slowly across my jaw and down my neck. I rested my hands on her stone chest.

"You're not breathing, Bella," she murmured.

I sucked in a loud breath.

She kissed under the edge of my jaw, then along my cheekbone. "Still worried?"

"A bit."

She chuckled. Both her hands were on my waist now, and she lightly kissed one eyelid and then the next.

"Edyth," I breathed.

Then her lips were on mine, almost roughly and full of urgency. I instinctively wrapped my arms around her stone neck and her lips pressed, unyielding, against my own. Her body leaned into mine, pinning me between her and the Jeep. My heart was beating frantically, and I whimpered softly. I heard her moan against my mouth. I sighed, and my lips parted, deepening the kiss.

She staggered back, breaking my grip effortlessly.

"Damnit, Bella!" she broke off, gasping. "You'll be the death of me, I swear you will."

I took a few deep breaths as I gazed into her wild eyes.

"You're indestructible," I practically panted the words out.

"I might have believed that before I met you."

I laughed at her, but she suddenly seemed very serious. I reached out my hand and placed it on her cheek. She turned her head to kiss my palm, her eyes still on me. She groaned; a reluctant, yearning groan.

"Let's get out of here before I do something really stupid," she growled.

She threw me across her back as she had before, and I could see the extra effort it took for her to be as gentle as she was. I locked my legs around her waist and secured my arms in a choke hold around her neck.

"Don't forget to close your eyes," she warned severely.

I quickly tucked my face into her neck, and squeezed my eyes shut. Another groan escaped her lips.

"Damn…" She growled. I couldn't help but smirk.

I could hardly tell we were moving. I could feel her gliding along beneath me, but she could have been strolling down the sidewalk, the movement was so smooth. I was tempted to peek, just to see if she was really flying through the forest like before, but I resisted. It wasn't worth that awful dizziness. I contented myself with listening to her carefully measured breath come and go evenly.

I wasn't quite sure we had stopped until she reached back and touched my hair.

"It's over, Bella."

I dared to open my eyes, and, sure enough, we were at a standstill. I stiffly unlocked my stranglehold on her body and slipped to the ground, landing on my backside.

"Oh!" I huffed as I hit the wet ground.

For a second she stared at me like she wasn't sure if she was still too mad to find me funny, but then she must have decided that she wasn't too mad.

My bewildered expression must have pushed her over the edge, and she broke into a roar of laughter.

I got up slowly and brushed the mud and weeds off the back of my jeans. That only made her laugh harder. I rolled my eyes, and began to stride off into the forest.

I felt her arm around my waist.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

"To watch the baseball game?" I raised an eyebrow.

"It's the other way."

I pivoted in her arms. "Okay."

She put her other arm around my waist and pulled me back into her chest, she kissed my ear softly.

"Don't be mad at me for laughing, I couldn't help myself. You should have seen your face." She chuckled before she could stop herself.

"What, you can be mad but I can't?" I asked incredulously, raising my eyebrows. "I thought you were getting better about your temper."

"I wasn't mad at you."

"I believe you said I would be the death of you." I pointed out.

"That was simply a statement of fact." She spun me around to face her. "I wasn't mad at you." She was suddenly intense, all trace of teasing gone.

"Then why did you get so upset?" I tilted my head, questioning. "I know it's not because it was a bad kiss. Because that was one of my better ones, I think."

She laughed again, loudly. "Oh, but that was the problem." Her eyes were full of adoration. "I could never be mad at you, Bella." She explained. "So kind, so patient, and brave…" She sighed, "I infuriate myself," she said gently. "The way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. The way you kissed me back at the Jeep was…" Her eyes closed and she took a deep breath, "beyond anything I had experienced thus far."

"That's saying something," I quipped, a little too smug, "we've been doing a lot of kissing the last couple days."

She smiled, but her eyes were sad. "Yes," she put her hand on my face, rubbing my cheek with her thumb, "but what if lose control? What if I hurt you? Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to—"

I stopped her with a kiss, this time she froze; remaining still as a statue for a moment, before her hands found their way to my waist and her body relaxed. I pulled away, slowly. Her face looked serene, blissful.

"You're doing a fantastic job," I smiled. "And I trust you. Completely. So give yourself a little credit."

"I love you," she said. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true."

It was the first time she'd said she loved me—in so many words. She might not realize it, but I certainly did.

"Now, where were we," she continued, and she bent to softly brush her lips against mine.

I sighed, contended. "You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember? We'd better get going."

She nodded.

"And, as long as you don't lose comple control," I grinned, "I don't mind if you lose a little more control next time we kiss."

A look of utter bliss passed across her beautiful face and she sighed. "I think I can manage that." She smiled, widely.

"Let's go." I smiled back.

"Mmmm," she sighed again, "Yes, mam."

She smiled wistfully and released all of me but one hand. She laced her long, cold fingers through mine and led me a few feet through the tall, wet ferns and draping moss, around a massive hemlock tree, and we were there, on the edge of an enormous open field in the lap of the Olympic peaks. It was twice the size of any baseball stadium.

I could see the others all there; Esme, Emmett, and Royal, sitting on a bare outcropping of rock, were the closest to us, maybe a hundred yards away. Much farther out I could see Jasper and Alice, at least a quarter mile apart, appearing to throw something back and forth, but I never saw any ball. It looked like Carlisle was marking bases, but could they really be that far apart.

When we came into view, the three on the rocks rose. Esme started toward us. Emmett followed after a long look at Royal's back; Royal had risen fluidly and strode off toward the field without a glance in our direction. My stomach began to knot in response.

"Was that you we heard, Edyth?" Esme asked as she approached.

"It sounded like a bear choking," Emmett clarified.

I smiled at Esme. "That was her."

"Bella was being unintentionally funny," Edyth explained, quickly settling the score.

Alice had left her position and was running, or dancing, toward us. She hurtled to a fluid stop at our feet. "It's time," she announced.

As soon as she spoke, a deep rumble of thunder shook the forest beyond us, and then crashed westward toward town.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett said with easy familiarity, winking at me.

"Let's go!" Alice reached for Emmett's hand and they darted toward the oversized field; she ran like a gazelle. He was nearly as graceful and just as fast—yet Emmett could never be compared to a gazelle.

"Are you ready for some ball?" Edyth asked, her eyes eager, bright.

Her enthusiasm was contagious, I smiled at her. "Go team!"

She laughed, quickly running her fingers through my hair, then bounded off after the other two. Her run was more aggressive, a cheetah rather than a gazelle, and she quickly overtook them. The grace and power was breathtaking.

"Shall we go watch?" Esme asked in her soft, melodic voice, and I realized I was staring openmouthed after them. I quickly reassembled my expression and nodded. Esme kept a few feet between us, and I wondered if she was still being careful not to frighten me. She matched her stride to mine without seeming impatient at the pace.

"You don't play with them?" I asked.

"No, I prefer to referee. I like keeping them honest."

"She thinks we cheat!" Emmett called from way off in the field

"I know you do!" Esme called back, laughing. "You should hear the arguments they get into! Actually, I hope you don't, you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves."

"You sound like my mom." I laughed.

She laughed too, "Well, I do think of them as my children in most ways. I never could get over my mothering instincts—did Edyth tell you I had lost a child?"

"No," I murmured, stunned, scrambling to understand what lifetime she was remembering.

"Yes, my first and only baby. He died just a few days after he was born, the poor tiny thing," she sighed. "It broke my heart—that's why I jumped off the cliff, you know," she added calmly.

"Oh, Edyth just said you fell…"

"Always the sweetheart." She smiled. "Edyth was the first of my new daughters. I've always thought of her that way, even though she's older than I, in one way at least." She smiled at me warmly. "That's why I'm so happy that she's found you, dear." The endearment sounded very natural on her lips. "She's been the odd woman out for far too long; it's hurt me to see her alone."

"You don't mind, then?" I asked, feeling hesitant. "That we're… all wrong for each other?"

"No." She was thoughtful. "You're what she wants, and you want her. It will work out, somehow." She said, though her forehead creased with worry. Another peal of thunder began.

Esme stopped then; apparently, we'd reached the edge of the field. It looked as if they had formed teams. Edyth was far out in left field, Carlisle stood between the first and second bases, and Alice held the ball, positioned on the spot that must be the pitcher's mound.

Emmett was swinging an aluminum bat; it whistled almost untraceably though the air. I waited for him to approach home plate, but then realized, as he took his stance, that he was already there—farther from the pitcher's mound than I would have thought possible. Jasper stood several feet behind him, catching for the other team. Of course, none of them had gloves.

"All right," Esme called in a clear voice, which I knew even Edyth would hear, as far out as she was. "Batter up."

Alice stood straight, deceptively motionless. Her style seemed to be stealth rather than an intimidating windup. She held the ball in both hands at her waist, and then, like the strike of a cobra, her right hand flicked out and the ball smacked into Jasper's hand.

"That was a strike, right?" I whispered to Esme.

"That's right," she smiled. Jasper hurled the ball back to Alice's waiting hand. She permitted herself a brief grin. And then her hand spun out again.

This time the bat somehow made it around in time to smash into the invisible ball. The crack of impact was shattering, thunderous; it echoed off the mountains—I immediately understood the necessity of the thunderstorm and struggled to understand how the bat and ball didn't just shatter like glass from the impact.

The ball shot like a meteor above the field, flying deep into the surrounding forest.

"That's got to be a home run," I murmured.

"Wait," Esme cautioned, listening intently, one hand raised.

Emmett was a blur around the bases, Carlisle shadowing him. I realized Edyth was missing.

"Out!" Esme cried in a clear voice. I stared in disbelief as Edyth sprang from the fringe of the trees, ball in her upraised hand, her wide grin visible even to me.

"Emmett hits the hardest," Esme explained, "But Edyth runs the fastest."

The inning continued before my incredulous eyes. It was impossible to keep up with the speed at which the ball flew, the rate which their bodies raced around the field.

I learned the other reason they waited for a thunderstorm to play when Jasper, trying to avoid Edyth's infallible fielding, hit a ground ball toward Carlisle. Carlisle ran into the ball, and then raced Jasper to first base. When they collided, the sound was like the crash of two massive falling boulders. I jumped up in concern, but they were somehow unscathed..

"Safe," Esme called in a calm voice.

Emmett's team was up by one—Royal managed to soar around the bases after tagging up on one of Emmett's long flies—when Edyth caught the third out. She sprinted to my side, sparkling with excitement.

"What do you think?"

"One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major League Baseball again."

"I'm sure you're heartbroken." She laughed.

"It's a little funny," I teased.

"What is?" she asked, puzzled.

"Vampire baseball. It's just so funny to think about it."

She flashed her special crooked smile, leaving me breathless.

"I'm up," she said, heading for the plate.

She played intelligently, keeping the ball low, out of reach of Royal's always-ready hand in the outfield, gaining two bases like lightening before Emmett could get the ball back into play. Carlisle knocked one so far out of the field—with a boom that hurt my ears—that he and Edyth both made it in. Alice slapped them dainty high fives.

The score constantly changed as the game continued, and they razzed each other like any street ballplayers as they took turns with the lead. Occasionally Esme would call them to order. The thunder rumbled on, but we stayed dry, as Alice had predicted.

Carlisle was up to bat, Edyth catching, when Alice suddenly gasped. My eyes were on Edyth and I saw her head snap up to look at her. Their eyes met and something flowed between them in an instant. She was at my side before the others could ask Alice what was wrong.

"Alice?" Esme's voice was tense.

"I didn't see—I couldn't tell," she whispered.

All the others were gathered by this time.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle asked with the calm voice of authority.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the perspective wrong before," she murmured.

Jasper leaned over her, his posture protective. "What changed?" he asked.

"They heard us playing, and it changed their path," she said, contrite, as if she felt responsible for whatever had frightened her.

Seven pairs of quick eyes flashed to my face and away.

"How soon?" Carlisle said, turning toward Edyth.

A look of intense concentration crossed her face.

"Less than five minutes. They're running—they want to play." She scowled

"Can you make it?" Carlisle asked her, his eyes flicking toward me again.

"No, not carrying—" She cut short. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" Emmett asked Alice.

"Three," she answered tersely.

"Three!" he scoffed. "Let them come." The steel bands of muscle flexed along his massive arms.

For a split second that seemed much longer than it really was, Carlisle deliberated. Only Emmett seemed unperturbed; the rest stared at Carlisle's face with anxious eyes.

"Let's just continue the game," Carlisle finally decided. His voice was cool and level. "Alice said they were simply curious."

All this was said in a flurry of words that lasted only a few seconds. I had listened carefully and caught most of it, though I couldn't hear what Esme now asked Edyth with a silent vibration of her lips. I only saw the slight shake of her head and the look of relief on her face.

"You catch, Esme," she said. "I'll call it now." And she planted herself in front of me.

The others returned to the field, warily sweeping the dark forest with their sharp eyes. Alice and Esme seemed to orient themselves around where I stood. Royal was the last to move. He glared at me for a moment before he started moving back to the field.

I stated the obvious. "The others are coming now."

"Yes, stay very still, keep quiet, and don't move from my side, please." She hid the stress in her voice well, but I could hear it. I pulled the collar of my raincoat up around my neck.

"That won't help," Royal muttered back at us. "I could smell her across the field."

"I know." A hint of frustration colored Edyth's tone.

Carlisle stood at the plate, and the others joined the game halfheartedly.

"What did Esme ask you?" I whispered.

She hesitated for a second before she answered. "Whether they were thirsty," she muttered unwillingly.

The seconds ticked by; the game progressed apathetically now. No one dared to hit harder than a bunt, and Emmett, Royal, and Jasper hovered in the infield. Now and again, despite the fear that numbed my brain, I was aware of Royal's eyes on me. They were expressionless, but something about the way he held his mouth made me think he was angry.

Edyth paid no attention to the game at all, eyes and mind ranging the forest.

"I'm sorry, Bella," she muttered fiercely. "It was stupid and irresponsible of me to expose you like this. I'm so sorry."

I heard her breath stop, and her eye zeroed in on right field. She took a half step, angling herself between me and what was coming.

Carlisle, Emmett, and the others turned in the same direction, hearing sounds of passage much too faint for my ears.

I held my breath as I realized that what was coming now was going to change everything.


	35. the game Edyth pov

It had just begun to drizzle when I turned onto Bella's street. I had been looking forward to spending a few more hours alone with her at her house, but my plans had to quickly change

"Ridiculous, over-bearing, old fool." I muttered harshly as I glared at the black, weathered Sedan parked in the driveway of the Swan residence.

Bella's with Edyth Cullen again… Damn…The thoughts of the skinny girl standing behind Billy Black's wheelchair were the first I heard.I'm not thrilled that Bella seems serious about this girl… but the Cullens seem cool, I don't get why Billy is being so weird about it. Man, this is so embarrassing.

Naïve child. At least Billy kept his reasons to himself.

"This is crossing the line." I growled.

"He came to warn Charlie?" Bella guessed, her tone slightly horrified.

I could only nod as I met Billy Black's gaze through the rain and narrowed my eyes.

Bella seemed to contemplate something for a moment, she shifted uncomfortably in her seat.

"Let me deal with this," She suggested, sounding anxious.

"That's probably best." I agreed, which seemed to surprise her. "Be careful, though. The girl has no idea."

"Girl? Her name is Julie." Shee scolded me.

Something about her vaguely… protective tone bothered me for some reason, but I couldn't understand why so I simply shrugged.

She sighed and put her hand on the door handle.

"Get them inside," I instructed, "so I can leave. I'll be back around dusk."

"Do you want my truck?" she offered.

I rolled my eyes. "I couldwalkhome faster than this truck moves."

"You don't have to leave," she said, hopeful.

I smiled at the wistfulness in her expression. "Actually, I do. After you get rid of them"—I threw an angry glare in the Black's general direction—"you still have to prepare Charlie to meet your new girlfriend." I grinned widely at this, showing all my teeth.

She groaned, comically. "Thanks."

I smiled fondly at her. "I'll be back soon," I promised.

That feeling of reckless impulsiveness surged through me again. I glanced only briefly at the porch, disregarding the superstitious old fool completely. I swiftly leaned in and planted a gentle kiss just under the edge of Bella's jaw. Bella's heart started pounding in an panic and her eyes darted to the porch.

Billy's thoughts were unavoidably loud, but largely unintelligible. Just a mess of panic and anger. I ignored him as best I could, feeling slightly smug.

"Soon," Bella stressed as she opened the door and stepped out into the rain.

I watched her as she half-ran through the light rain toward the porch. It felt like a part of me was leaving with her. It was an excruciating ache.

I guess it's pretty serious…The disappointed thoughts of the girl—Julie—surprised me. I felt the same strange feeling I felt after Bella had scolded me. It confused me.

"Hey, Billy. Hi, Jules." Bella greeted them with an overly cheerful tone. I was going to need to help her work on her acting skills. "Charlie's gone for the day—I hope you haven't been wating long."

"Not long," Billy Black's tone was low and subdued. His dark eyes bore into Bella. I felt a fresh pain of anger. He continued. "I just wanted to bring this up." He indicated a brown paper sack resting in his lap.

"Oh, thanks," Bella said, glancing briefly at it. "Why don't you come in for a minute and dry off?"

Well done, Bella, well done.

The Elder Black continued to scrutinize Bella's every movement as she unlocked the door and indicated that they should enter first.

"Here, let me take that," Bella offered, turning to shut the door. Shee glanced back up at me one last time. I hoped my expression wasn't terribly unpleasant.

As soon as the door clicked shut, I swiftly opened the door and dashed out of the cab. I should have hurried straight home, but I felt the need to stay close—to protect Bella. I quietly rounded the little house and hid myself among the dense foliage, listening intently. I couldn't see them through the small kitchen window.

"You'll want to put it in the fridge," I heard Billy say, "It's some of Harry Clearwater's homemade fish fry—Charlie's favorite. The fridge keeps it drier."

"Thanks," Bella said again, but with genuine feeling this time. "I was running out of new ways to fix fish, and he's bound to bring home more tonight."

"Fishing again?" Billy asked. "Down at the usual spot? Maybe I'll run by and see him."

I grabbed a branch from the nearest bush and pulverized it in my hand to try and calm myself. Billy Black was going to be a real problem, I could tell. I watched Bella through Billy's eyes.

"No," Bella said quickly, her expression hardening. "He was headed someplace new… but he didn't tell me where."

Hm. She could be lying.Billy mused. "Jules," he said, his eyes still on Bella. "Why don't you go get that new picture of Rebecca out of the car? I'll leave that for Charlie, too."

Are you kidding me?"Where is it?" The girl asked, her voice morose as her thoughts.

"I think I saw it in the trunk," Billy answered. "You may have to dig for it."

The girl begrudgingly slouched back out into the mounting rain. She couldn't see me from my hiding spot, so I remained still in the bushes, carefully watching Bella through Billy's scrutinizing gaze.

They faced each other in silence. After a few long seconds, Bella shifted suddenly and turned to head into the kitchen. Billy followed in his wheelchair.

Bella shoved the brown parcel into the refrigerator and spun around to face Billy, whose thoughts were momentarily silent.

"Charlie won't be back for a while." Bella said, an almost rude tinge to her voice.

Billy nodded in agreement but said nothing. His thoughts were suspicious, without the words.

"Thanks again for fish fry," Bella said, obviously hinting that it was time for Billy to leave.

Billy continued nodding. Bella sighed and folded her arms across her chest.

Hm. She's got fire in her. Billy thought to himself. A poor, understated assessment of Bella, to be sure.Time for light conversation is done.

"Bella," he said aloud, and then hesitated.

Bella waited. I had to keep myself from laughing at her harsh expression.

"Bella," Billy began again, "Charlie is one of my best friends."

"Yes."

He spoke each word with careful distinction. "I noticed you've been spending time with one of the Cullens."

"Yes," Bella repeated curtly.

"Maybe it's none of my business," Billy continued, feeling off-put by Bella's tone, "but I don't think that is such a good idea."

"You're right, Billy," Bella agreed, sharply. "Itisnone of your business."

Billy was thrown by Bella's reaction and I couldn't help but grin widely.

"You probably don't know this," Billy said, trying to recover, "but the Cullen family has an unpleasant reputation on the reservation."

"Actually, I did know that," Bella replied in a hard voice. This surprised Billy. His mind raced with questions. "But that reputation couldn't be deserved, could it?" Bella continued. "Because the Cullens never set foot on the reservation, do they?"

She knows about the treaty?How?Billy's mind was frustrated. "That's true," he finally acceded. "You seem… well informed about the Cullens. More informed than I expected."

Bella stared him down, unflinching. "Maybe even better informed than you are."

But if she knows…"Maybe," Billy allowed. "Is Charlie as well informed?"

This was a low blow, and it was the weakness in Bella's stance.

"Charlie likes the Cullens a lot," Bella skirted the question, too obviously.

"It's not my business," Billy said. "But it may be Charlie's."

Bella snapped back again, "Thought it would be my business, again, whether or not I think that it's Charlie's business, right?"

I rolled my eyes at the backwards way Bella rased the question, but I was impressed by the assuredness with which she carried herself.

Damn it! Damn it! Damn it!The Black girl's angry thoughts raged from direction of the driveway as the rain picked up.

"Yes," Billy finally admitted from back inside the little kitchen, "I guess that's your business, too."

"And besides," Bella continued, "didn't you and Charlie have a sort of falling out the last time you said something to him about the Cullens?"

Ha! Bella was on to something now. Billy was uncomfortable now, he knew he was losing.

"And being that youaresuch good friends with my dad," Bella continued, going in for the kill, "I would hate to see you two have another falling out over something like that."

Billy's thoughts were angry and frustrated as he flipped through a dozen or so futile arguments before realizing that he had lost the upper hand.

"You're right." Billy finally sighed. Bella had won.

Bella sighed as well. "Thanks, Billy."

"Just think about what you're doing, Bella," Billy urged and, despite my own anger and frustration, I couldn't help but appreciate the genuine concern Billy had for Bella.

"I do, Billy. Every day." Was Bella's soft reply.

"What I meant to say was, don't do what you're doing."

I could see them staring at each other in heavy silence through the small window.

Suddenly, the door banged loudly, and Bella jumped a good foot at the sound.

"There's no picture anywhere in that car." The Black girl's whining voice carried through the house. I had completely forgotten she was even there. When she reached the kitchen, I could see through the window that she was drenched with rain.

"Hmm," Billy grunted, spinning around to face his daughter. "I guess I left it at home."

You've got to be kidding me. The girl rolled her eyes. "Great."

"Well, Bella, tell Charlie"—Billy paused meaningfully—"that we stopped by, I mean."

"Will do," Bella muttered in response.

Wait, what?"Are we leaving already?" The girl's voice was surprised and disappointed.

"Charlie's gonna be out late," Billy explained as he rolled himself out of the kitchen.

"Oh." The girl was visibly disappointed. "Well," she awkwardly held her hand out in a goodbye gesture, "I guess I'll see you later, then, Bella."

I decided it was probably safe to leave, I did have to prepare for the game and come back to Bella. Just as I started to move to leave, Bella reached out and grabbed the Black girl's hand and pulled her into a hug.

I uprooted one of the bushes next to me.

"See you soon, Jules." She said fondly.

Oh, man, this was worth standing in the rain…The girl's elated thoughts only added to my utter shock and irritation.

"Take care, Bella," Billy warned from the entrance hall.

I waited and watched as the Blacks got into their old car and drove away. I didn't move until the car was completely out of even my own superior sight. I briefly warred with my desires to climb into Bella's window and spend the next few hours with her, but I had to change into something more appropriate for playing baseball and, of course, I would need to arrive in some sort of vehicle if I was going to meet Charlie and take his daughter to watch a baseball game.

I forced myself away from the unending magnetic pull that was Bella and took off at a run back to my family's house. As I ran, I thought of how best to encroach the subject of Billy Black with Carlisle. No doubt, he would tell me that I was worrying for nothing, that Billy would never do anything to risk breaking the treaty, but I still had my concerns.

When I arrived home, Alice met me in the entryway.

"Alice." I nodded.

"I'm sorry, Edyth, I didn't see that Bella was going to have any visitors until after you had left," She hung her head, "I was too preoccupied with the game."

"It's fine," I assured her, "I'm just worried that Billy Black may become a problem."

She closed her eyes and tilted her head back and forth slightly, after a moment she opened her eyes. "I don't see him doing anything that would cause us any problems…" She trailed off, uncertain.

"What is it?"

"It's…" She sighed. "It's nothing. Humans are always less clear for me, but for some reason…" she trailed off again, then shook her head. "It's nothing. Billy Black's decisions are harder than most to see, but the worst he'll do is talk to the other Quileute elders. He won't say anything to Charlie."

I watched her, confused, trying to see in her mind what was bothering her. Her visions seemed the same as usual, mostly. Perhaps less clear that some.

They're far less clear than usual, even for watching a human.Alice thought, guessing what I was doing.Can't you see that? It's like there's a haze over Billy Black that I can barely see through.

"It's harder for you to see humans, and even harder when you don't know them well, Alice." I reassured her, wondering myself if that was truly the cause.

Maybe.She shrugged.I told Emmett to get the jeep ready for you, I saw you'd want to take it.

"Thanks."

She smiled and dashed up the stairs to her's and Jasper's room.

"Hey!" Emmett's voice boomed from the direction of the garage. "So how'd it go? What did I miss?" He asked as he strode into the room.

"It went fine, Em," I rolled my eyes, "thank you for letting me use your jeep."

"Nah, no problem," He tossed the keys at me, harder than was necessary. My hand shot up and caught them, being careful not to bend the fragile metal.

"You're going to ruin another set of keys," I chided him.

He grinned. "Don't put a scratch on my baby or I'll throw a baseball straight at your head."

"And what would that do, exactly?"

"Mess up your fancy hair." He crowed, ruffling my hair with his hand.

I shoved him off and headed for my room to change.

Hey, heads up, Roy still isn't happy.

"I'd expect nothing less." I sighed.

He's just worried, Edyth. He's not as awful as you think he is.

"I know, Emmett." I glanced back at him, he looked unhappy. "What is it?"

"I wanted to meet the kid!" He frowned. "If she's tough enough to handle the truthanddeal with all your crazy she's got to be one hell of a girl."

I laughed, despite myself. "She is."

"Then I already like her." Emmett grinned before dashing back to the garage.

I passed Jasper and Alice in the hallway on my way to my room, Jasper nodded once, trying to conceal a smirk.

The excitement coming off of you…

I gave him a playful shove as he walked passed me and he laughed.

"Esme and Carlisle are already on their way to the field, Emmett and Royal are leaving soon, as are we!" Alice sang. "I can't wait to see Bella there! She's going to be very impressed, I think."

"If she can keep up." Jasper chuckled from the bottom of the stairs.

"See you there!" Alice flashed a smile and hurried away.

The entire drive back to Forks was both a torture and thrill. Despite my excitement of seeing Bella again I could only go so fast in Emmett's jeep. It was far too loud and conspicuous to be racing through the streets of Forks. I wondered if Bella was as nervous as I imagined her to be about me meeting her father. I felt confident that she was. I realized as I pulled into the driveway of Chief Swan's house that even I was a touch nervous myself. How laughable. I should be afraid of nothing. Yet, I was nervous to meet my girlfriend's father. How ridiculous. How… Human.

I jumped out of the jeep and headed for the door, my eagerness and desperate need to see Bella warring with my obligation to move at a human pace.

I froze at the porch. Should I knock? Ring the doorbell? Why didn't I know? This wasn't like me at all.

"Go get ready." I heard Charlie say from inside the house.

I decided to ring the doorbell.

A scuffling of chairs followed by heavy footsteps.

"Dad, be nice." Bella's voice said with as much anxiousness as I expected.

"Oh, go on," Charlie's voice said.

A panicked rush of steps up the old staircase.

The door opened, and Charlie Swan stared me down his face went blank as he looked at me for the first time the way bellas does. He had been standing at his full height when he opened the door with a stern expression which wavered only slightly when his eyes met mine.

"Come on in, Edyth."

"Thank you, Chief Swan," I said in my most respectful voice.

"Go ahead and call me Charlie. Here, I'll take your jacket." He reached out to take it off my shoulders. I deftly removed it before he touched me. I didn't want him to feel how cold I was, it would only make him feel ill at ease.

"Thanks, sir." I smiled, handing it to him. He took it and seemed momentarily startled by how cold it felt. Damn, I should have put the heater on in the jeep. He regained his composure quickly, though, and hung it on the nearby coatrack.

Bella appeared at the top of the stairs just as Charlie rejoined me at the bottom of them. Her beauty and perfection as she rushed down the stairs surprised me, yet again, though I could perfectly remember what she looked like in my mind. I beamed at her.

"Hi," Bella breathed, sounding strangely out of breath when she reached the bottom.

"Have a seat there, Edyth." Charlie said, gesturing towards the small living room.

Bella visibly grimaced.

Aiming to be as respectful as possible, I took my place in the single chair, moving as humanly as I could manage. By choosing the chair, I forced Bella to sit next to her father on the sofa. She shot me a dirty look as she stumbled onto the couch, so I winked back at her, trying to appease her unhappiness.

"So," Charlie began, "I hear you're getting my girl to watch baseball."

Bella made a strange face, like she found something about that amusing, but I wasn't sure why beyond the obvious.

"Yes, sir," I replied, "hopefully Bella doesn't mind spending time with my family."

"I'd say it was the baseball she'd mind more." Charlie said, and we both laughed as Bella shot another dirty look, this time at her father.

"Should we be on our way?" Bella suggested, jumping up and walking to the hallway and grabbing her jacket. Charlie and I followed, with amused expressions.

"Not too late, Bella."

"Don't worry, Charlie, I'll have her home early," I promised.

"You take care of her, all right?"

"She'll be safe with me, I promise sir."

Charlie's mind was still wary, but I could sense thoughts of trust there. There was no way he could doubt my sincerity on the matter of Bella's safety; I would do anything and everything in my power to keep Bella safe, even at the cost of my own existence.

Bella hesitated for only a moment, then inched her way out the door in a strange, hilted manner. Charlie chuckled at her and I followed, smiling.

Bella stopped dead on the porch, her eyes wide and her mouth slightly ajar, as she laid eyes on Emmett's jeep. The jeep was certainly impressive; it's high tires, the metal guards over the headlights and taillights, the four large spotlights on the crash bar, the shiny red hardtop… Emmett was exceedingly proud of it.

Charlie let out a low whistle.

"Wear your seat belts," he choked out.

I followed Bella around to the passenger side and opened the door for her. Bella studied the distance to the seat and prepared herself to throw herself into the jeep. I chuckled and lifted her in with one hand, making sure that Charlie couldn't see.

Once she was in place, I slowly made my way around the front of the jeep to the driver's side, keeping the slowest human pace I could under Charlie's watchful eyes. As I took opened the door, Bella was fumbling with the various buckles and straps with an exasperated look on her face.

"What's all this?" She asked.

"It's an off-roading harness."

"Oh, god."

She kept trying to find the correct place for all the buckles, but the frustration was growing by the second on her face. I only smiled and reached over to help her. The rain surely would have obscured Charlie's vision enough from the porch that he wouldn't see the way my hand lingered at Bella's ivory neck, brushed along my collarbone… Her hands fell to her side as she took several deep breaths.

I reluctantly pulled myself away and turned the key of the jeep. It roared to life and we pulled away from the house.

"This is a… um…bigJeep you have." Bella glanced around the cab.

"It's Emmett's. I didn't think you'd want to run the whole way."

"Where do you keep this thing?"

"We remodeled one of the outbuildings into a garage." I answered simply.

"Oh, of course."

I glanced at her, grinning, catching the end of an eye-roll.

Her face changed suddenly.

"Run thewholeway? As in, we're still going to run part of the way?" Her voice wavered with mounting nerves.

My grin didn't falter. "You'renot going to run."

"I don't need to spend the evening suffering from a dizzy spell in front of your family."

"Keep your eyes closed, you should be fine."

She shook her head, sighed, then reached over and took my hand. "Hi. I missed you."

I laughed at her simple, honest declaration and interlocked my fingers with hers. "I missed you, too. Isn't that strange?"

"Strange?"

"You'd think I'd have learned more patience over the last hundred years. And here I am, finding it difficult to pass an afternoon without you."

"I'm okay with that." She smiled, exceedingly pleased.

I leaned over to kiss the top of her head and her scent hit me hard. Warring desires of a thirst… and the hunger—that strange kind of hunger that had nothing to do with a need for sustenance. I couldn't stop the long groan that escaped my lips. She looked up at me, puzzled.

"You smell so good in the rain," I explained.

"In a good way, or a bad way?" Her head tilted slightly to the side.

I let out a sigh. "Both, always both."

We continued through the gloomy downpour until I found the somewhat hidden mountain path. She tried to make conversation now and then, but the rough terrain set her bouncing up and down in her seat, so she gave up. She looked so utterly adorable and I was rather excited to show off a little during the game that I couldn't wipe the smile from my face.

We reached the end of the road where the trees formed walls of vibrant green on three sides of the jeep. The rain had slowed to a mere drizzle as the sky began to brighten through the clouds.

"Sorry, Bella, we'll have to go on foot from here."

"You know what? I'll just wait here." She sunk deeper into her seat.

"What happened to all your courage? You were extraordinary this morning." I raised an eyebrow.

"I haven't forgotten the last time yet."

I was around to her side of the car before she had time to take another breath. I started unbuckling her from the seat.

"I'll get those, you go on ahead," she protested, but I was finished before she had the chance to get the first words out.

She didn't move. She simply sat in the car, looking at me.

"You don't trust me?" I asked, feigning hurt.

"Trust really isn't really the issue. Me being a dizzy mess on the ground is the issue."

I laughed, gently pulling her from the Jeep, and set her feet on the ground. She looked up at the light mist falling from the sky, a slightly surprised expression on her face. Watching her, an idea came into my head and I fought a grin.

"Do you remember what I was saying about mind over matter?" I asked.

"Yes…"

"Maybe if you concentrated on something else." I offered.

"Like what?" She raised an eyebrow.

I smiled and placed my hands on either side of her head against the jeep, leaning slowly forward, she leaned back against the door. I leaned in closer, my face mere inches from her own.

"When we're running—and yes, that part is nonnegotiable—I want you to concentrate on this."

I mentally prepared myself for what I was about to do. I slowly moved in closer, turning my face to the side so that our cheeks met and my lips were at her ear. I let one of my hands slide down to her waist.

"Just remember us… like this…"

Being sure to use only my lips and not my teeth, I pulled softly on her earlobe, listening to her quickening heartbeat. Then I slowly moved my lips across her tensed jaw and down her ivory neck. Her breathing caught, then stopped completely and she rested her delicate hands against my chest.

"You're not breathing, Bella," I murmured.

She sucked in a loud, deliberate breath.

I kissed under the edge of her still tense jaw, then along her cheekbone. "Still worried?"

"A bit." Her voice wavered.

I chuckled, putting both my hands on her waist. I placed a gentle kiss on one of her eyelids, then the next.

"Edyth," she breathed.

Then I couldn't hold myself back any longer, my lips were on hers. I was being too rough, too urgent, but I couldn't slow myself down. Her scent was all around me; intensified by the gentle mist that still clung to the air. Her beauty intoxicated me, everything about her pulled me in. It was almost as if she were the vampire and I the prey. That deep, carnal hunger inside of me was desperate for this, desperate for her. Her arms wrapped around my neck and it only fueled my desire; my lips pressed against her soft, yielding lips. I leaned deeper into her, pinning her against the Jeep. Her heart was beating so frantically and erratically. Then she let out a soft whimper and that was nearly the end of me. I could not contain the moan that escaped my lips against her own. She sighed, blissfully, and her lips parted, deepening the kiss.

Then I panicked.

I was losing control—no, I was already out of control. I needed to stop. I staggered back from her, breaking her gentle grip on my neck.

"Dammit, Bella!" I gasped. "You'll be the death of me, I swear you will."

She took a few deep breaths as she gazed into my eyes. I could see the wildness and hunger of my eyes reflected in hers. They matched mine.

"You're indestructible," she was practically panting.

"I might have believed that before I metyou."

She laughed, but I was still serious. How close had I come to going too far? I was supposed to be stronger than this. I thought I was. How could she so easily break my willpower by simply existing?

She seemed to sense my mood because she reached her hand out and placed it gently on my cheek. The heat radiating from her palm was like air for a drowning woman, I turned my head to kiss her palm, my eyes still on her. that smile still danced on her perfect, tempting lips and her eyes were still full of desire. I groaned against her hand; my reluctance to stop and yearning for more of her fighting with my self-control.

"Let's get out of here before I do something really stupid," the words came out in a growl.

I picked her up and swung her across my back as I had before, but it took me more effort than usual to be as gentle as I needed to be. The deep yearning inside of me was making me rough and dangerous. She immediately locked her legs around my waist and secured her arms around my neck in a hold that would have choked a human.

"Don't forget to close your eyes," I warned her.

Shee quickly tucked her face into my neck, her hot breath washing over me. It sent an electric feeling down my spine and I groaned again.

"Damn…" Another growl. I swear I could feel her smirking against my neck.

I started running before I lost any semblance of control. I was careful to avoid any branches that might hit her. She was tense the entire time, seeming to try and match her breathing to my own. I dashed through the thick forest, letting the cold air clear my head. I would need to be evenmorecareful in the future if she was going to continue to be so outrageously tempting. I was angry with myself for being so weak and it fueled my running. We made it to our destination in record time.

When I stopped, she didn't move so I reached back to touch her hair.

"It's over, Bella."

She lifted her head, then stiffly released her arms from my body, sliding down to the ground, but somehow, she lost her footing and fell completely down on her backside.

"Oh!" She huffed as she hit the wet ground.

I stared in disbelief at her adorable clumsiness for a second, but the sight of her bewildered expression broke through my anger at myself and I erupted into uncontrollable laughter.

She slowly rose to her feet and brushed the mud and weeds off the back of her jeans, the bewildered expression replaced by righteous indignation. It only made me laugh harder. She rolled her eyes and began to stride off defiantly into the forest.

I caught her waist in my arms.

"Where are you going, Bella?"

"To watch the baseball game?" She raised an eyebrow.

"It's the other way."

She pivoted in my arms. "Okay."

I caught her again and pulled her into my chest and I softly kissed her ear.

"Don't be mad at me for laughing, I couldn't help myself. You should have seen your face." I couldn't stop myself from chuckling again just remembering her face.

"What, you can be mad but I can't?" She asked incredulously, raising her eyebrows. "I thought you were getting better about your temper."

"I wasn't mad at you."

"I believe you said I would be the death of you." She said, flatly.

"Thatwas simply a statement of face." I spun her around to face me. "I wasn't mad atyou." The intensity of my emotions broke through my teasing.

"Then why did you get upset?" She tilted her head in the most adorably tempting way. "I know it's not because it was a bad kiss. Because that was one of my better ones, I think."

I laughed again, loudly. She had a remarkable way of understating the facts. "Oh, but that was the problem." I gazed down at her, my eyes full of adoration. "I could never be mad at you, Bella." I explained. "So kind, so patient, and brave…" I sighed. "I infuriate myself," I said softly. "The way I can't seem to keep from putting you in danger. The way you kissed me back at the Jeep was…" I closed my eyes, recalling every delicious moment, and took a deep breath, "beyond anything I had experienced thus far."

"That's saying something," she smugly quipped, "we've been doing a lot of kissing the last couple of days."

I smiled, but I couldn't ignore the sadness mounting within me. "Yes," I placed my hand on her face, rubbing her cheek with my thumb, "but what if I lose control? What if I hurt you? Sometimes I truly hate myself. I should be stronger, I should be able to—"

She stopped me short with a kiss, and I froze in surprise; still as a statue for a moment before my hands found their way to her waist and I allowed myself to relax and enjoy the moment. She pulled away all too soon for me, but I was still serenely content.

"You're doing a fantastic job," she smiled. "And I trust you. Completely. So give yourself a little credit."

"I love you," I said. "It's a poor excuse for what I'm doing, but it's still true."

Her heart thudding against her chest, and she looked at me strangely for a moment. Her eyes full of joy. I didn't understand why, but I liked when she looked at me that way.

"Now, where were we," I continued, leaning forward to softly brush my lips against hers. Any more than that and we would never make it to the game.

She sighed a long, content sigh. "You promised Chief Swan that you would have me home early, remember? We'd better get going."

I could only nod.

"And, as long as you don't losecompletecontrol," She grinned, "I don't mind if you lose a little more control next time we kiss."

The thought of another kiss like the one at the jeep, or even something better than that—if such a thing was possible—was more than I could hope for from this existence. I sighed, reveling in the utter bliss I was feeling. "I think I can manage that." I smiled.

"Let's go." She smiled back at me.

"Mmmm," I sighed again, "Yes, mam."

I smiled and released all of her from my arms but one hand. I laced my fingers through hers and led her a few feet through the tall, wet ferns and draping moss, around the massive hemlock tree to the open field that rested in the Olympic peaks. She looked around, her eyes wide.

Her eyes found Esme, Emmett, and Royal sitting on the bare outcropping of rocks on the edge of the field. Jasper and Alice were further out in the field tossing the ball back and forth while Carlisle marked the bases.

As we drew closer, I could hear their minds snap into focus as they caught Bella's scent. Royal, Emmett, and Esme all rose from the rocks and Esme began walking towards us.

Hm. Count me out.Royal's thoughts were venomous, and entirely for my benefit. He stalked off toward the field without looking towards Bella again. Emmett watched him for a moment, then turned to approach us. I could feel Bella tense behind me.

"Was that you we heard, Edyth?" Esme asked as she drew closer.

"It sounded like a bear choking," Emmett clarified.

Bella smiled at Esme. "That was her."

You loser.Emmett was grinning.

"Bella was being unintentionally funny," I explained, quickly evening the score.

Bella is here!Alice ran the distance between us in a second, stopping right at our feet. "It's time," she announced.

No sooner had she spoken then a deep rumble of the promised thunder shook the forest in the distance, and then crashed in the west towards the town.

"Eerie, isn't it?" Emmett leaned into Bella with a familiar ease, winking.

"Let's go!" Alice reached for Emmett's hand and they ran toward the field. Bella watched them with wide eyes.

She seems great, Edyth!Emmett was thinking as he ran.Hopefully she can keep up.

She can stay here with me, Edyth. Esme was watching us, smiling.

"Are you ready for some ball?" I asked Bella, eagerly.

She smiled at me. "Go team!"

I laughed and ran my fingers through his hair before running to catch up with Alice and Emmett. I met them at the pitcher's mound and Emmett clapped me hard on the back.

"Look at you, kid." He smirked. I shoved him back, laughing.

"Shall we go watch?" Esme was asking Bella. She led her to her usual place for the games, matching her stride to hers and keeping her distance.

"You don't play with them?" He asked her.

"No, I prefer to referee. I like keeping them honest."

"She thinks we cheat!" Emmett called over to Bella.

"I know you do!" Esme called back, laughing. "You should hear the arguments they get into! Actually, I hope you don't, you would think they were raised by a pack of wolves."

"You sound like my mom." Bella laughed.

Esme laughed, too. She continued speaking softly to Bella, but Jasper approached and put a hand on my shoulder, distracting me.

"You'll play left field, alright?" He smirked.If you can focus, that is.

"Don't worry about me," I grinned. "I'm completely focused."

"Sure you are," Emmett laughed, picking up the aluminum bat that was sitting at the home plate, "Completely focused on Bella."

"Can we get on with this?" Royal called, annoyed.

"Now, now," Carlisle chided, smiling as he took his place between the first and second bases. "Everyone play nice."

Alice stood on the pitcher's mound, smirking.

Jasper dashed several feet behind Emmett and readied himself to play catcher. Emmett swung the bat through the air a few times before falling into his stance.

"All right," Esme called from her position on the edge of the field. "Batter up."

Alice stood completely still for a moment, both hands at her waist, then her right hand flicked out. I could see in her mind that it would be an easy strike. Sure enough, Jasper caught the ball a fraction of a second before Emmett swung the bat.

"That was a strike, right?" Bella whispered to Esme.

"That's right." She smiled back at her. I smiled smugly at her quick eyes.

Jasper threw the ball back to Alice and she grinned briefly before throwing the ball again.

Emmett hit the ball this time with a thunderous crack and it flew into the deep forest surrounding the field. I dashed out into the forest, keeping an eye on the ball as I ran. A few miles out, I caught it and spun around back towards the field in one motion. I broke through the trees, holding it high above my head, grinning.

"Out!" Esme called out.

My eyes flickered over to Bella who was staring in disbelief at me.

"Emmett hits the hardest," Esme was explaining to her, "but Edyth runs the fastest."

I couldn't help but feel rather smug. I enjoyed showing off for Bella.

The inning continued at our usual fast pace. It was a particularly good game. I wondered how much Bella was able to keep up with. She seemed riveted, if not incredulous, as she watched us play. She only seemed worried once when Carlisle and Jasper collided at first base after Jasper had tried a ground ball. Bella had jumped up in concerned, but then watched in shock when Carlisle and Jasper stood back up, completely unharmed.

"Safe," Esme called in her calm, gentle voice. Bella glanced to her, then back at Carlisle and Jasper, somewhat bewildered.

"She's doing pretty good," Emmett clapped me on the back, "you picked a good one."

"I picked the best one." I corrected him, smiling.

"Too bad your team is still losing." He laughed, punching my shoulder.

It was true, his team was up by one point thanks to Royal tagging up one of Emmett's long flies, but I caught the third out. After I while, I couldn't stay away from Bella any longer and sprinted to her side.

"What do you think?" I asked her.

"One thing's for sure, I'll never be able to sit through dull old Major League Baseball again."

"I'm sure you're heartbroken." I laughed.

"It's a little funny."

"What is?" I asked, confused.

"Vampire baseball. It's just so funny to think about it."

I flashed a smile at her and her breath caught.

"I'm up," I said, heading for the plate and eager to show off some more.

"Stop flirting," Royal muttered, disgusted, from the outfield.

I ignored him. Nothing could bring down my mood today. Everything was perfect. My family was here, Bella was here. I had everything in the world I needed.

The score changed constantly as the game continued, but I didn't care. I was too happy to care about who won the game, because I was the true winner here. How had I ever thought things wouldn't work out? Esme had said before that it would all work out and she was right.

Carlisle was up to bat, and I crouched several feet behind him to catch. My mind was barely on the game, all I could think about was Bella.

Then Alice gasped.

My head snapped up to look at her, her eyes met mine and I saw what she had seen.

Three strangers, running through the woods towards us. All dissimilar in appearance save for their ragged, worn clothing and their bright red eyes.

I raced to Bella's side, my mind racing. I felt even colder than usual as a sense of dread washed over me. Alice was close behind me.

"Alice?" Esme's voice was tense.

"I didn't see—I couldn't tell," she whispered.

The others all closed in around us, instinctively knowing they needed to protect Bella.

"What is it, Alice?" Carlisle asked, his voice calm and authoritative.

"Others." I whispered, too quiet for Bella to hear.

"They were traveling much quicker than I thought. I can see I had the perspective wrong before," she murmured.

My eyes shot to her, she averted her gaze, guiltily.

I'm sorry, Edyth. I didn't tell you because I didn't want you to worry. I was so sure…

Jasper saw the anger in my eyes and leaned over Alice, his posture protective. "What changed?" he asked, staring me down.

"They heard us playing, and it changed their path," she said.Edyth, I didn't think… I didn't know…

Bella was in everyone's mind as they all looked at her for brief moment, then looked away, eyes on the trees.

"How soon?" Carlisle asked, turning to me.

I concentrated on the forest, scanning for unfamiliar voices. Then I found them.

"Less than five minutes. They're running—they want to play." I scowled.

"Can you make it?" Carlisle asked, his eyes flicking toward Bella again.She shouldn't be here, Edyth.

"No, not carrying—" I cut short, my mind racing and beyond frustrated. "Besides, the last thing we need is for them to catch the scent and start hunting."

"How many?" Emmett asked Alice.

"Three," she answered tersely.

"Three!" he scoffed. "Let them come." He flexed his arms, unworried.

Everyone's eyes were on Carlisle, anxious for his decision. He deliberated for only a moment.

"Let's just continue the game," he finally decided, keeping his voice cool and level. Only I could hear the worry in his thoughts. "Alice said they were curious."

"Edyth," Esme whispered to me, so quick and quiet that Bella would be unable to hear. "Are they… Do they need to hunt?"

I shook my head slightly. The others weren't hunting now, they had fed recently. Her face looked immediately relieved, but I didn't share her feelings on the matter. I kept my mind split between the forest, listening to the others' minds, and scanning the cacophony of visions passing through Alice's mind. Nothing was set in stone. She couldn't see what would happen.

"You catch, Esme," I said. "I'll call it now." I planted myself in front of Bella.

The others returned to the field, sweeping the dark forest with wary eyes. Alice and Esme oriented themselves around Bella, tense and ready to defend. Royal didn't move at first. He glared at Bella for a long moment before moving back to the field.

I hope your happy. He thought bitterly.

"The others are coming now." Bella stated. Her voice was small and quiet.

"Yes, stay very still, keep quiet, and don't move from my side, please." I tried to hide the stress in my voice so as not to worry her, but in the back of my mind I knew Bella was too sharp to miss it. From the corner of my eye, I saw her pull the collar of her raincoat up around her neck.

"That won't help," Royal muttered back at us. "I could smell her across the field."

"I know." Frustration at Royal's attitude tinged my words.

Carlisle stood at the plate, and the others joined the game with far less enthusiasm than before. Everyone was on edge, waiting.

"What did Esme ask you?" Bella whispered.

Of course she noticed. "Whether they were thirsty," I unwillingly muttered.

The seconds seemed to tick by at a crawl; no one dared to hit the ball farther than a few yards for fear of being too far away when the others arrived. Emmett, Royal, and Jasper hovered in the infield, ready to close in at a moment's notice. I tried to concentrate on the other's minds, gauging the distance between them and us, but I was occasionally distracted by Bella's face in Royal's mind. The anger and frustration that filled Royal's mind as he watched Bella only made me more anxious.

"I'm sorry, Bella," I muttered. "It was stupid and irresponsible of me to expose you like this. I'm so sorry."

Then I heard them. My breath stopped, and my eyes snapped to the far right of the field. I took half a step, angling myself between Bella and what was coming.

Carlisle, Emmett, and the others turned in the same direction, hearing the sounds of the other's steps against the damp forest floor.

Bella held her breath behind me.

My hubris had been too great, and now I would have to pay for that folly and I knew, in that tense moment, it was going to change everything.


	36. the hunt Bella pov

They emerged one by one from the forest edge, ranging a dozen meters apart. The first was male he came into the clearing fell back immediately, allowing the other male to take the front, orienting himself around the tall, dark-haired man in a manner that clearly displayed who led the pack. The third was a woman she appeared last; from this distance, all I could see of her was that her hair was a startling shade of red.

They closed ranks before they continued cautiously toward Edyth's family, exhibiting the natural respect of a troop of predators as it encounters a larger, unfamiliar group of its own kind

As they approached, I could see how different they were from the Cullens. Their walk was catlike, a gait that seemed constantly on the edge of shifting into a crouch. They dressed in the ordinary gear of backpackers: jeans and casual button-down shirts in heavy, weatherproof fabrics. The clothes were frayed, though, with wear, and they were barefoot. The first two of them had cropped hair, but the womans brilliant red hair was long and filled with leaves and debris from the woods.

Their sharp eyes carefully took in the more polished, urbane stance of Carlisle, who, flanked by Emmett and Jasper, stepped guardedly forward to meet them. Without any apparent communication between them, they each straightened into a more casual, erect bearing.

The man in front was easily the most beautiful, his skin olive-toned beneath the typical pallor, his hair a glossy black. He was of a medium build, hard-muscled, of course, but nothing next to Emmett's brawn. He smiled an easy smile, exposing a flash of gleaming white teeth.

The red-headed woman was wilder, her eyes shifting restlessly between the others facing her, and the loose grouping around me, her chaotic hair quivering in the slight breeze. Her posture was distinctly feline. The last male hovered unobtrusively behind them, slighter than the leader, his light blonde hair and regular features both nondescript. His eyes, though completely still, somehow seemed the most vigilant.

Their eyes were different, too. Not the gold or black I had come to expect, but a deep burgundy color that was disturbing and sinister.

The dark-haired man, still smiling, stepped toward Carlisle.

"We thought we heard a game," he said in a relaxed voice with the slightest of French accents. "I'm Laurent, these are Victoria and James." He gestured to the vampires beside him.

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Royal, Esme, and Alice, Edyth and Bella." He pointed us out in groups, deliberately not calling attention to individuals. I felt a shock when he said my name.

"Do you have room for a few more players?" Laurent asked sociably.

Carlisle matched Laurent's friendly tone. "Actually, we were just finishing up. But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?"

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

"No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves."

The tense atmosphere had slowly subsided into a casual conversation; I guessed that Jasper was using his peculiar gift to control the situation.

"What's your hunting range?" Laurent casually inquired.

Carlisle ignored the assumption behind the inquiry. "The Olympic Range here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We maintain a permanent residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali."

Laurent rocked back on his heels slightly.

"Permanent? How do you manage that?" There was honest curiosity in his voice.

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably?" Carlisle invited. "It's a rather long story."

James and Victoria exchanged a surprised look at the mention of the word "home," but Laurent controlled his expression better.

"That sounds very interesting, and welcome." His smile was genial. "We've been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while." His eyes move appreciatively over Carlisle's refined appearance.

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand." Carlisle explained.

"Of course." Laurent nodded. "We certainly won't encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle, anyway," he laughed. A shiver ran up my spine.

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us—Emmett and Alice, you can go with Edyth and Bella to get the Jeep," he casually added.

Three things seemed to happen simultaneously while Carlisle was speaking. My hair ruffled with the light breeze, Edyth stiffened, and the slighter male, James, suddenly whipped his head around, scrutinizing me, his nostrils flaring.

A swift rigidity fell on all of them as James lurched one step forward into a crouch. Edyth bared her teeth, crouching in defense, a feral snarl ripping from her throat. It was nothing like the playful sounds I'd heard from her this morning; it was the single most menacing thing I had ever heard, and chills ran from the crown of my head to the back of my heels.

"What's this?" Laurent exclaimed in open surprise. Neither James nor Edyth relaxed their aggressive poses. James feinted slightly to the side, and Edyth shifted in response.

"She's with us." Carlisle's firm rebuff was directed toward James. Laurent seemed to catch my scent less powerfully than James, but awareness now dawned on his face.

"You brought a snack?" he asked, his expression incredulous as he took an involuntary step forward.

Edyth snarled even more ferociously, harshly, her lip curling high above her glistening, bared teeth. Laurent stepped back again.

"I said she's with us," Carlisle corrected in a hard voice.

"But she's human," Laurent protested. The words were not at all aggressive, merely astounded.

"Yes."

Emmett was very much in evidence at Carlisle's side, his eyes on James. James slowly straightened out of his crouch, but his eyes never left me, his nostrils still wide. Edyth stayed tensed like a lion in front of me.

When Laurent spoke, his tone was soothing—trying to defuse the sudden hostility. "It appears we have a lot to learn about each other."

"Indeed." Carlisle's voice was still cool.

"But we'd like to accept your invitation." His eyes flicked toward me and back to Carlisle. "And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We won't hunt in your range, as I said."

James glanced in disbelief and aggravation at Laurent and exchanged another brief look with Victoria, whose eyes still flickered edgily face to face.

Carlisle measured Laurent's open expression for a moment before he spoke. "We'll show you the way. Jasper, Royal, Esme?" he called. They gathered together, blocking me from view as they converged. Alice was instantly at my side, and Emmett fell back slowly, his eyes locked on James as he backed toward us.

"Let's go, Bella." Edyth's voice was low and bleak.

This whole time I'd been rooted in place, terrified into absolute immobility. Edyth had to grip my elbow and pull sharply to break my trance. Alice and Emmett were close behind us, hiding me. I stumbled alongside Edyth, still stunned with fear. I couldn't hear if the main group had left yet. Edyth was radiating tension as we moved at human speed to the forest edge.

Once we were in the trees, Edyth slung me over her back without breaking stride. I gripped as tightly as possible as she took off, the others close on her heels. I kept my head down, but my eyes, wide with fright, wouldn't close.

They plunged through the now-black forest like wraiths. The sense of exhilaration that usually seemed to possess Edyth as she ran was completely absent, replaced by a fury that consumed her and drove her faster. Even with me on her back, the others trailed behind.

We reached the Jeep in an impossibly short time, and Edyth barely slowed as she swept me into the backseat.

"Strap her in," she ordered Emmett, who slid in beside me.

Alice was already in the front seat, and Edyth was starting the engine. It roared to life and we swerved backward, spinning around to face the winding road.

Edyth was growling something too fast for me to understand, but it sounded a lot like a string of profanities.

The jolting trip was much worse this time, and the darkness only made it more frightening. Emmett and Alice both glared out the side windows. I let out a weak yelp of fright at a particular violent jolt and Emmett reached over and placed a tentative hand on my shoulder, his face was serious.

We hit the main road, and though our speed increased, I could see much better where we were going. And we were headed south, away from Forks.

"Where are we going?"

No one answered. Edyth stared furiously at the road, Alice continued to glare out the side window, Emmett averted his eyes.

"Dammit, Edyth! Where are you taking me?"

"We have to get you away from here—far away—now." She didn't look back, her eyes still on the road. The speedometer read a hundred and five miles an hour.

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" I shouted. I struggled with the complicated harness, tearing at the straps.

"Emmett," Edyth said grimly.

And Emmett secured my hands in his cold, steely grasp.

"No! Edyth! No, you can't do this."

"I have to, Bella, now please be quiet."

"Do not tell me to be quiet!" I snapped. Edyth's grip tightened on the steering wheel. Emmett's eyes widened curiously at me. "You have to take me back home—Charlie will call the FBI! They'll be all over your family—Carlisle and Esme! They'll have to leave, to hide forever!"

"Calm down, Bella." Her voice was cold. "We've been there before."

"You're being ridiculous. You don't need to do this to yourselves—we can figure something out!" I struggled violently, staring daggers at Emmett.

Alice spoke for the first time. "Edyth, pull over."

She flashed her a hard look, and then sped up.

"Edyth, let's just talk this through."

"You don't understand," she roared in frustration. I'd never heard her voice so loud; it was deafening in the confines of the Jeep. The speedometer neared one hundred and fifteen. "He's a tracker, Alice, did you see that? He's a tracker!"

I felt Emmett stiffen next to me, and I wondered at his reaction to the word. It meant something more to the three of them than it did to me; I wanted to understand, but there was no opening for me to ask.

"Pull over, Edyth." Alice's tone was reasonable, but there was a ring of authority in it I'd never heard before.

The speedometer inched past one-twenty.

"Do it, Edyth."

"Listen to me, Alice. I saw his mind. Tracking is his passion, his obsession—and he wants her, Alice—her, specifically. He begins the hunt tonight."

"He doesn't know where—"

She interrupted her. "How long do you think it will take him to cross her scent in town? His plan was already set before the words were out of Laurent's mouth."

I gasped, knowing where my scent would lead. "Charlie! You can't leave him there! You can't leave him!" I vainly tried to wrench my hands from Emmett's steel grip.

"She's right," Alice said.

The car slowed slightly.

"Let's just look at our options for a minute," Alice coaxed.

The car slowed again, more noticeably, and then suddenly we screeched to a stop on the shoulder of the highway. I flew against the harness, and then slammed back into the seat.

"There are no options," Edyth hissed.

"I'm not leaving Charlie!" I yelled.

She stiffened at the edge to my voice, but ignored me.

"We have to take her back," Emmett finally spoke.

"No." Edyth was absolute.

"He's no match for us, Edyth. He won't be able to touch Bella."

"He'll wait."

Emmett smiled. "I can wait, too."

"You didn't see—you don't understand. Once he commits to a hunt, he's unshakable. We'd have to kill him."

Emmett didn't seem upset by the idea. "That's an option."

"And the redhead. She's with him. If it turns into fight, the leader will go with them, too."

"There are enough of us."

"There's another option," Alice said quietly.

Edyth turned on her in fury, her voice a blistering snarl. "There—is—no—other—option!"

Emmett and I both stared at her in shock, but Alice seemed unsurprised. The silence lasted a long minute as Edyth and Alice stared each other down.

I broke it. "Does anyone want to hear my plan?"

"No," Edyth growled. Alice glared at her, finally provoked.

"Listen," I began. "You take me back."

"No," she interrupted.

I glared at her, no longer able to contain my anger.

"Edyth Cullen, listen to me." I snapped, my voice thick with frustration. Her eyes widened and she quickly glanced at me for a moment.

"Shut up!, get your damn temper under control and stop yelling!." The anger in my voice was harsh—I had never imagined I would ever speak to anyone, let alone her, in that tone. "You will take me back. I'll tell my dad I want to go home to Phoenix. I pack my bags. We wait till this tracker is watching, and then we run. He'll follow us and leave Charlie alone. Charlie won't call the FBI on your family. Then you can take me any damned place you want. Got it?"

They stared at me, stunned.

"It's not a bad idea, really." Emmett sounded surprised—and almost impressed.

"It might work—and we simply can't leave her father unprotected. You know that." Alice said.

Everyone looked at Edyth.

"It's too dangerous—I don't want him within a hundred miles of Bella."

Emmett was supremely confident. "Edyth, he's not getting through us."

Alice thought for a minute. "I don't see him attacking. He'll try to wait for us to leave him alone."

"It won't take long for him to realize that's not going to happen."

"I demand that you take me home." My voice was a growl.

Edyth pressed her fingers to her temples and squeezed her eyes shut.

"Edyth," my was voice calmer, but still hard, "please."

She didn't look up. When she spoke, her voice sounded worn.

"You're leaving tonight, whether the tracker sees or not. You tell Charlie that you can't stand another minute in Forks. Tell him whatever story words. Pack the first things your hands touch, and then get in your truck. I don't care what he says to you. You have fifteen minutes. Do you hear me? Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep."

"I will take however long I need to convince Charlie not to follow me," I countered. "Do you damn hear me?"

Edyth didn't say anything, but at least she didn't argue. The Jeep rumbled to life, and she spun us around, the tires squealing. The needle on the speedometer started to race up the dial.

"Emmett?" I asked, looking pointedly at my hands.

"Oh, sorry." He let me loose. He leaned in closer to me, "That was badass of you just now." He said quietly, grinning.

"Thanks," I muttered.

A few minutes passed in silence, other than the roar of the engine. Then Edyth spoke again.

"This is how it's going to happen. When we get to the house, if the tracker is not there, I will walk her to the door. Then she has fifteen minutes." She glared at me in the rearview mirror, I glared back. "Emmett, you take the outside of the house. Alice, you get the truck. I'll be inside as long as she is. After she's out, you two can take the jeep home and tell Carlisle."

"No way," Emmett broke in. "I'm with you."

"Think it through, Emmett. I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Until we know how far this is going to go, I'm with you."

Edyth sighed. "if the tracker is there," she continued grimly, "we keep driving."

"We're going to make it there before him," Alice said confidently.

Edyth seemed to accept that. Whatever her problem with Alice was, she didn't doubt her now.

"What are we going to do with the Jeep?" she asked.

Her voice had a hard edge. "You're driving it home."

"No, I'm not," she said calmly.

The unintelligible stream of profanities started again.

"We can't all fit in my truck," I pointed out.

Edyth didn't acknowledge me.

"I think you should let me go alone," I said calmly.

She reacted to that.

"Bella, please just do this my way, just this once," she said between clenched teeth.

"You're not making rational decisions. Your temper is out of control and you're thinking emotionally, not logically," I protested. "Charlie's not an imbecile. If you're not in town tomorrow, he's going to get suspicious."

"That's irrelevant. We'll make sure she's safe, and that's all that matters."

"Then what about this tracker? He saw the way you acted tonight. He's going to think you're with me, wherever you are."

Emmett looked at me, surprised and impressed again. "Edyth, listen to her," he urged. "I think she's right."

"Yes, she is." Alice agreed.

"I can't do that." Edyth's voice was icy.

"Emmett should stay, too," I continued. "He definitely got an eyeful of Emmett."

"What?" Emmett turned on me.

"You'll get a better crack at him if you stay," Alice agreed.

Edyth stared at her incredulously. "You think I should let Bella go alone?"

"Of course not," Alice said. "Jasper and I will take her."

"I can't do that," Edyth repeated, but this time there was a trace of defeat in her voice. The logic was working on her.

I tried to be persuasive, but there was still an edge to my voice. "Hang out here for a week—" I saw her expression in the mirror and sighed "—a few days. Let Charlie see you haven't kidnapped me, and lead this James on a fake trail so he's completely off mine. Then come and meet me. Take a round a bout route, of course, and then Jasper and Alice can go home."

I could see her beginning to consider it.

"Meet you where?"

"Phoenix." Of course.

"No. He'll hear that's where you're going," she said impatiently.

"And you'll make it look like that's a ruse," I snapped, "He'll know that we're expecting him to be listening. He'll never believe I'm actually going where I say I'm going."

"She's diabolical," Emmett chuckled.

"And if that doesn't work?"

"There are several million people in Phoenix," I informed her.

"It's not that hard to find a phone book."

"Obviously I'm not going home."

"Oh?" she inquired, a dangerous note in her voice.

"I'm old enough to get my own place."

"Edyth, we'll be with her," Alice reminded her.

"What are you going to do in Phoenix?" She asked her scathingly.

"Stay indoors."

"I kind of like it." Emmett was thinking about cornering James, no doubt.

"Shut up, Emmett."

"Look, if we try to take him down while Bella's still around, there's a much better chance that someone will get hurt—Bella'll get hurt, or you will, trying to protect her. Now, if we get the tracker alone…" He trailed off with a slow smile. I was right.

The Jeep was crawling slowly along now as we drove into town. Despite my brave talk, I could feel the hairs on my arms standing up. I thought about Charlie, alone in the house, and tried to be courageous.

"Bella." Edyth's voice was very soft. Alice and Emmett looked out their windows. "If anything happens to you—anything at all—I'll never forgive myself. I'll never be able to forget that it was my fault you…" she trailed off, and took a deep breath. "Do you understand?" Was all she could manage.

"Yes," I said softly.

She turned to Alice.

"Can Jasper handle this?"

"Give him some credit, Edyth. He's been doing very, very well, all things considered."

"Can youbhandle this?" she asked.

And graceful little Alice pulled back her lips in a horrific grimace and let loose with a guttural snarl that had me cowering against the seat in terror.

Edyth smiled at her. "But keep your opinions to yourself," she muttered suddenly.

 **sorry about this chapter posting twice i think i fixed it thanks for letting me know**


	37. the hunt Edyth pov

They emerged one by one from the edge of the forest, approximately a dozen meters apart from each other. The first male into the clearing immediately fell back, allowing the second male to take the front. The second male appeared to be the leader. The was a woman and she appeared last, and she was the most feral of the group with wild red hair and ferocious eyes.

They closed ranks before cautiously moving towards us, I listened carefully to their thoughts as they approached. They seemed optimistically cautious, if not surprised, to find another group of their kind so close to town.

I cautiously watched Bella out of the corner of my eyes, trying not to draw much attention to her. She was watching the approaching group with wide, wary eyes, taking in their disheveled appearance.

Keep an eye on Bella but try not to draw any more attention than you need to, cautioned me as he strode forward, flanked by Emmett and Jasper.

Dressed so nicely…The dark-haired leader noted as Carlisle approached.A taste for the finer things.

The three strangers straightened their postures to try and match Carlisle's, but the more animalistic edge of their body language was still apparent.

The leader was obviously the most civilized of the three of them. His pale flesh had an almost olive-tone and his short hair was glossy black. He had a medium, muscled build but I guessed he would still be no match for Emmett should it come to that. He smiled easily, exposing his gleaming white teeth.

Bet they're stuck up,the red-headed woman was thinking. She was wilder, her eyes darting restlessly between everyone in the clearing. Her mind was fast and ferocious. I didn't like spending time in her thoughts.

The last male bothered me the most, though. He was the most unobtrusive, standing slightly behind the others. He was slighter than the leader, with light blonde hair and a plain face. Largely nondescript. His eyes, though, seemed hyper-vigilant. Something in his calm, quiet mind set me more on edge than his feline-like red-haired companion.

All three of them bore deep burgundy-red eyes. The sight of which made even me slightly uncomfortable after all this time living the life we had.

The dark-haired leader, still smiling, stepped toward Carlisle.

"We thought we heard a game," his voice was relaxed with the slightest trace of a long-forgotten French accent. "I'm Laurent, these are Victoria and James." He gestured to the other two.

"I'm Carlisle. This is my family, Emmett and Jasper, Royal, Esme, and Alice, Edyth and Bella." He was careful to gesture to each of us broadly, in groups, so as not to draw attention to any one individual. I felt Bella start ever so slightly when she heard her name. I hoped the others didn't notice.

"Do you have room for a few more players?" Laurent asked sociably.

Carlisle, ever the master at setting a relaxed mood, matched his friendly tone. "Actually, we were just finishing up. But we'd certainly be interested another time. Are you planning to stay in the area for long?"

"We're headed north, in fact, but we were curious to see who was in the neighborhood. We haven't run into any company in a long time."

"No, this region is usually empty except for us and the occasional visitor, like yourselves."

Jasper was subtly easing the tension, feeling the individual moods of the strangers and adjusting accordingly.

I don't like the quiet one in the back, Edyth,he thought,that one is… ruthless.

"Where's your hunting range?" Laurent casually inquired.

Carlisle ignored the assumption behind the inquiry. "The Olympic Range, here, up and down the Coast Ranges on occasion. We maintain a permanent residence nearby. There's another permanent settlement like ours up near Denali."

They live here?Laurent rocked back on his heels slightly.

"Permanent? How do you manage that?" Laurent was genuinely curious, if not shocked.

"Why don't you come back to our home with us and we can talk comfortably?" Carlisle invited. "It's a rather long story."

Home? They can't be serious…The red-haired, Victoria exchanged a surprised look with James, the quiet one. Laurent managed to keep his expression more even.

"That sounds very interesting, and welcome." He smiled. "We've been on the hunt all the way down from Ontario, and we haven't had the chance to clean up in a while." His eyes moved appreciatively over Carlie's far more refined appearance.

"Please don't take offense, but we'd appreciate it if you'd refrain from hunting in this immediate area. We have to stay inconspicuous, you understand." Carlisle explained.

"Of course." Laurent nodded. "We certainly won't encroach on your territory. We just ate outside of Seattle, anyway," he laughed. I could sense Bella shiver behind me.

"We'll show you the way if you'd like to run with us—Emmett and Alice, you can go with Edyth and Bella to get the Jeep," he casually added.

While Carlisle was still speaking, a light breeze blew through the open field, ruffling Bella's hair. I involuntarily stiffened as her scent whipped past me towards the strangers. The slighter male, James, was the first to notice, his head whipped around, and he locked eyes on Bella, his nostrils flaring.

What a scent…His mind raced with a sudden surge of hunger and intrigue.

Jasper's attempts at controlling the atmosphere completely failed and a swift rigidity fell over all of us as James lurched one step forward into a predatory crouch. I bared my teeth, crouching in defense, a feral snarl ripping from my throat. No trace of human left in my posture, not when Bella was in such immediate danger.

"What's this?" Laurent exclaimed,what 's going on?

James and I were locked in our aggressive poses. He watched me curiously.

What are you going to do if I just…James feinted slightly to the side, and I shifted in responce . Hmmm protective of your little pet, are you?

"She's with us." Carlisle's firm voice was directed toward James. Laurent caught Bella's scent then, less powerfully than James, but awareness now dawned on his face.

"You brought a snack?" he asked, his expression incredulous as he took an involuntary step forward.

I snarled even more viciously, harshly, my lip curling high above my bared teeth. Laurent stepped back again.

"I said she's with us," Carlisle corrected in a hard voice.

"But she's human," Laurent protested in surprise.

"Yes."

Emmett moved closer to Carlisle's side, his eyes on James.

Hmm, no need for a fight. James mused, straightening out of his crouch. But his eyes stayed locked on Bella, his nostrils still wide as he inhaled Bella's a delicious little treat you … Intoxicating.

I somehow felt even colder as a sense of dread washed over me. The more I listened to James's mind, the more I understood about him. The fascination with which he observed myself and Bella, the way he was learning and examining Bella's scent… He was a tracker.

You reckless, fool…Laurent's thoughts were vicious toward James, heavy with embarrassment. "It appears we have a lot to learn about each other." Laurent's voice broke through the tense silence, his tone soothing. He didn't want a fight.

"Indeed." Carlisle's voice was still cool.

"But we'd like to accept your invitation." Laurent's eyes flicked toward Bella and back to Carlisle. "And, of course, we will not harm the human girl. We won't hunt in your range, as I said."

You always complicate things, don't you?James glanced in disbelief and aggravation at Laurent, then exchanged another brief look with Victoria, who's eyes still flickered from face to face.

Victoria nodded, ever so on.

The subtlest smirk danced on the corners of James's . Lips.

Edyth, I'm going to invite them to the house. You get Bella out of here, understand?Carlisle was measuring Laurent's expression for a moment before he spoke. "We'll show you the way. Jasper, Royal, Esme?" he called. They gathered together, blocking Bella from view as they converged together. Alice was instantly by Bella's side, and Emmett reluctantly fell back, his eyes locked on James as he moved back towards us.

I'll see you soon, little one you can thank your girlfriend for that.

Edyth!Alice caught my attention as a vision came to her. James had decided on his course. The hunt was on.

"Let's go, Bella." I said in a low voice, not bothering to hide my emotions.

Bella didn't move. She was so firmly rooted in place that I had to grip her elbow and give her a sharp pull in order to make her move. Alice and Emmett stayed close behind us, hiding her from view as we hurried toward the woods. Bella stumbled along at my side as we moved at an agonizingly human pace. I didn't dare risk moving any faster, it might only incite James to follow.

Once we were in the trees, I swung Bella over my back without breaking my stride. She instantly gripped onto me and tucked her head into my neck as we started running. Alice and Emmett stayed right behind me, keeping wary eyes on the trees.

How could I have been so foolish? If I hadn't reacted the way I did, James might have let it go. Acting the way I did had only excited him, made it all one big game. This was my fault. I had put Bella in even more danger than she had ever been before.

We reached the Jeep and I only barely slowed as I swept Bella into the backseat.

"Strap her in," I snapped at Emmett, who slid in beside Bella.

Alice was already in the front seat, her mind racing with visions, watching the tracker's decision. I started the engine and it roared to life as we swerved backward, spinning around to face the winding road.

He's decided on his plan, Edyth. Alice cautioned, and I watched the vision play through her head. James's plan of pursuit. There was no stopping him now.

"Damn it! Damn him to hell! Bastard… the damn bastard…" I growled to myself as I drove.

I was too focused on working out a counter-plan to drive carefully. The trip was violent as I pushed the Jeeps limits through the rough terrain. Emmett glared out the side window, watching for James. Alice was watching all the various decisions carefully. I hit something in the road that caused the jeep to jolt violently and Bella let out a weak cry of fright. My eyes shot to the rearview mirror, to check on her. Emmett was tentatively placing a hand on Bella's shoulder to comfort her.

As soon as we hit the main road, I gunned it south, away from Forks.

"Where are we going?" Bella asked, confused.

I didn't answer, I was staring at the road. Furious at myself, furious at James. Even angry with Alice for not warning me about the strangers in the first place.

"Dammit, Edyth! Where are you taking me?"

The anger in her voice burned into me. "We have to get you away from here—far away—now." I didn't dare look back at her, I couldn't bear to see the expression on her face. No doubt she would be upset with me.

"Turn around! You have to take me home!" She shouted back. I let myself glance back at her in the rearview mirror. Her face was livid as she struggled with the off-road harness, tearing at the straps.

"Emmett," I said.

Emmett nodded slightly and secured Bella's thrashing hands in his own.

"No! Edyth! No, you can't do this." Bella protested.

"I have to, Bella, now please be quiet."

"Do not tell me to be quiet!" Bella snapped back at me. The ice in her voice was like knives through me, my grip on the steering wheel tightened.

Damn, this kid has got some fire in her Emmett mused, curiously.

"You have to take me back home—" Bella continued, "Charlie will call the FBI! They'll be all over your family—Carlisle and Esme! They'll have to leave, hide forever!"

"Calm down, Bella." I said, my voice cold. "We've been there before."

"You're being ridiculous. You don't need to do this to yourselves—we can figure something out!" She argued, struggling violently against Emmett's steel grip.

Alice spoke then, "Edyth, pull over."

I flashed her a hard look. She had no right to tell me what to do, not today. I sped up.

"Edyth, let's just talk this through."

"You don't understand," I roared, my frustration breaking through. "He's a tracker, Alice, did you see that? He's a tracker!"

Oh, damn… Emmett stiffened in the back seat as he contemplated what that meant for us moving forward.

Alice considered my words for a brief moment, then continued. "Pull over, Edyth." She said, using the authoritative tone she reserved almost exclusively for me when she was angry with me.

I ignored her and pushed the Jeep even faster.

"Do it, Edyth."

"Listen to me, Alice. I saw his mind. Tracking is his passion, his obsession—and he wants her, Alice—her, specifically. He begins the hunt tonight."

I wasn't telling her anything she didn't know. She saw the Tracker's decisions.

"He doesn't know where—"

I cut her off. "How long do you think it will take him to cross her scent in town? His plan was already set before the words were out of Laurent's mouth."

Bella gasped from the backseat. "Charlie! You can't leave him there! You can't leave him!" She was still trying to pull her hands free of Emmett's.

"She's right," Alice said. She followed the course of my decision to take Bella away from Forks, and sure enough, the path we were on led the Tracker straight to Bella's house. The vision shifted to Charlie's body, lifeless on the living room couch in front of the television, as the Tracker continued on his unstoppable path toward Bella.

I slowed slightly as I argued with myself. I could keep Bella safe, but at the cost of her father. Would she thank me for that? Or would Bella forever resent me for it?

"Let's just look at our options for a minute," Alice coaxed.

I slowed again, contemplating the possibilities.

Alice replayed the vision of Charlie, dead and drained of blood through her head.

Bella won't thank you for that, Edyth. She'd never forgive you. She cautioned me.

She wasn't wrong. I slammed my foot down on the brakes and the Jeep screeched to a halt on the shoulder of the highway.

"There are no options," I hissed at Alice.

"I'm not leaving Charlie!" Bella yelled.

I stiffened at the edge to her voice, Alice was right. Bella would never forgive me if anything happened to her father.

"We have to take her back," Emmett spoke.

"No." I couldn't march Bella to her death.

"He's no match for us, Edyth. He won't be able to touch Bella." Emmett countered.

"He'll wait."

Emmett smiled. "I can wait, too."

"You didn't see—you don't understand. Once he commits to a hunt, he's unshakeable. We'd have to kill him."

Emmett was unphased. "That's an option."

"And the red-headed girl. She's with him. If it turns into a fight, the leader will go with them, too."

"There's enough of us." Emmett argued.

"There's another option," Alice said quietly. She recalled the vision of Bella, pale and red-eyed for a fleeting moment.

I turned on her, my fury twisting my voice into a snarl. "There—is—no—other—option!"

I felt Emmett and Bella's eyes on me, but I was locked on Alice. I would not allow that vision to come to pass. Never. We stared at each other for a long minute.

"Does anyone want to hear my plan?" Bella said, breaking the tense silence.

"No," I growled dismissively. Alice glared at me, finally provoked by my attitude.

"Listen," Bella began. "You take me back."

"No," I interrupted.

I felt Bella's eyes bore into me for a moment.

"Edyth Cullen, listen to me." She snapped, her voice thick with frustration. My eyes widened in surprise and I quickly glanced at Bella for a moment. I immediately regretted it. Her blue eyes were ice and daggers, tearing into me with a fury I had never seen in her before.

"Shut up, get your Damn temper under control and stop yelling." She scolded me, her voice painfully angered. "You will take me back. I'll tell my dad I want to go home to Phoenix. I pack my bags. We wait till this tracker is watching, and then we run. He'll follow us and leave Charlie alone. Charlie won't call the FBI on your family. Then you can take me any damned place you want. Got it?"

We all stared at her, stunned. Her eyes were locked on me. Ice and rage. I felt a twinge of something deep in my core, something I couldn't quite place for a moment, then I realized. It was fear. I actually, on some level,i felt…afraid of Bella.

"It's not a bad idea, really." Emmett broke the silence, sounding surprised and impressed.

"It might work—" Alice was trying to see if it would work, but my mind was stubbornly set on my own plan, blocking her visions of any alternative. "and we simply can't leave her father unprotected. You know that." She continued.

They all looked at me.

"It's too dangerous—I don't want him within a hundred miles of Bella."

Emmett's confidence was palpable. "Edyth, he's not getting through us."

Alice combed through visions of the tracker's decisions. "I don't see him attacking. He'll try and wait for us to leave her alone."

"It won't take long for him to realize that's not going to happen."

"I demand that you take me home." Bella growled.

I pressed my fingers to my temples and squeezed my eyes shut. Trying to think, but failing. It was too much. I couldn't risk Bella. I couldn't do it.

"Edyth," Bella's voice was calmer, but still hard, "please."

Alice's visions shifted as my resolve wavered. We were on a new path.

I didn't look up as I spoke. "You're leaving tonight, whether the tracker sees or not. You tell Charlie that you can't stand another minute in Forks. Tell him whatever story works. Pack the first things your hands touch, and then get in your truck. I don't care what he says to you. You have fifteen minutes. Do you hear me? Fifteen minutes from the time you cross the doorstep."

"I will take however long I need to convince Charlie not to follow me," Bella countered, resolutely. "Do you hear me?"

I knew there was no arguing with her. The Jeep rumbled to life as I hit the gas and spun us around, tires squealing as I sped back towards Forks.

"Emmett?" Bella said. I glanced in the rearview mirror and saw her looking pointedly at her hands, still locked in Emmett's.

"Oh, sorry." Emmett released Bella's hands, then leaned in closer to her, "That was badass of you just now." He said quietly, grinning.

"Thanks," Bella muttered.

I made a mental note to tell Emmett not to encourage this sort of life-threatening behavior from Bella in the future.

The minutes passed in silence as I solidified our new plan. Alice watched my decisions, determining what would work and what wouldn't, helping me decide what to do. Once we had combed through all the possibilities I spoke again.

"This is how it's going to happen. When we get to the house, if the tracker is not there, I will walk her to the door. Then she has fifteen minutes." I glared at Bella in the rearview mirror, she stubbornly glared back. "Emmett, you take the outside of the house. Alice, you get the truck. I'll be inside as long as she is. After she's out, you two can take the jeep home and tell Carlisle."

"No way," Emmet broke in. "I'm with you."

"Think it through, Emmett." I don't know how long I'll be gone."

"Until we know how far this is going to go, I'm with you."

I sighed. "If the tracker is there," I continued, grimly pondering that possibility, "we keep driving."

"We're going to make it there before him," Alice said confidently.

She was right, I could see it in her mind.

"What are we going to do with the Jeep?" she asked.

I saw where her train of thought was going. A new course was being decided, not by myself or by her, but by Bella.

"You're driving it home." I said, my voice hard.

"No, I'm not," she said calmly.

Another string of profanities poured out of my mouth, I hoped Bella couldn't understand them.

"We can't all fit in my truck," Bella pointed out.

I didn't acknowledge her. Hoping that ignoring her would stop her from seeing this ludicrous new idea to completion.

"I think you should let me go alone," Bella said, far too calmly.

Was she insane?

"Bella, please just do this my way, just this once," I said between clenched teeth.

"You're not making rational decisions. Your temper is out of control and you're thinking emotionally, not logically," she protested. "Charlie's not an imbecile. If you're not in town tomorrow, he's going to get suspicious."

"That's irrelevant. We'll make sure he's safe, and that's all that matters."

"Then what about this tracker? He saw the way you acted tonight. He's going to think you're with me, wherever you are."

Emmett looked at Bella, surprised and impressed again. "Edyth, listen to her," he urged. "I think she's right."

"Yes, she is." Alice agreed.

"I can't do that." My voice was ice.

"Emmett should stay, too," Bella continued. "He definitely got an eyeful of Emmett."

"What?" Emmett turned on Bella, thankfully. I didn't need anyone encouraging these insane thoughts.

"You'll get a better crack at him if you stay," Alice agreed with Bella, encouraging Emmett.

I stared at her incredulously for betraying me like that. "You think I should let Bella go alone?"

"Of course not," Alice said. "Jasper and I will take her."

"I can't do that," I repeated, vainly. I could see the logic in the plan, and as Alice's visions become more solidified, I could see they were right.

Bella shifted slightly in her seat, when she spoke, I could tell she was trying to be persuasive with me, but there was still an edge to her voice. "Hang out here for a week—" I made a face, which she must have seen in the rearview mirror because she sighed "—a few days. Let Charlie see you haven't kidnapped me and lead this James on a fake trail so he's completely off mine. Then come and meet me. Take a roundabout route, of course, and then Jasper and Alice can go home."

It was a sound plan, I couldn't deny that.

"Meet you where?"

"Phoenix." She said, as if it were obvious.

"No. He'll hear that's where you're going," I said impatiently.

"And you'll make it look like that's a ruse" she snapped, "He'll know that we're expecting him to be listening. He'll never believe I'm actually going where I say I'm going."

"She's diabolical," Emmett chuckled.

"And if that doesn't work?" I asked, ignoring Emmett.

"There are several million people in Phoenix," she shrugged.

"It's not that hard to find a phone book."

"Obviously I'm not going home." She said, annoyed.

"Oh?" I inquired, my voice edgy. Her matter of fact attitude was only setting me off.

"I'm old enough to get my own place."

"Edyth, we'll be with her," Alice reminded me.

"What are you going to do in Phoenix?" I asked her scathingly.

"Stay indoors."

"I kind of like it." Emmett was thinking about his chances of taking a crack at the tracker and enjoying it immensely.

"Shut up, Emmett."

"Look, if we try to take him down while Bella's still around, there's a much better chance that someone will get hurt—Bella'll get hurt, or you will, trying to protect her. Now, if we get the tracker alone…" Emmett trailed off with a slow smile.

I drove slowly and inconspicuously through town. Bella was silent, she seemed tense and contemplative. I could only guess what she was thinking. I wondered if she was angry with me still, surely she was. I wondered if, even if all of our plans worked, would she resent me at the end of this? And what if we failed? What would I do with myself? It was too grim a future to contemplate.

"Bella." I said, my voice soft. Alice and Emmett looked out their windows. "If anything happens to you—anything at all—I'll never forgive myself. I'll never be able to forget that it was my fault you…" I couldn't say the words, I took a deep breath. "Do you understand?"

"Yes," she said softly.

I turned to Alice.

"Can Jasper handle this?"

"Give him some credit, Edyth. He's been doing very, very well, all things considered."

"Can you handle this?" I asked.

She pulled back her lips and let out a snarl your 're lucky Bella is here, Edyth. You really can be so stupid sometimes.

I couldn't help but smile a little. "But keep your opinions to yourself." I muttered.


	38. goodbyes bella pov

Charlie was waiting up for me. All the house lights were on. My mind was blank as I tried to think of a way to make him let me go. This wasn't going to be pleasant.

Edyth pulled up slowly, staying well back from my truck. All three of them were acutely alert, ramrod straight in their seats, listening to every sound of the wood, looking through every shadow, catching every scent, searching for something out of place. The engine cut off, and I sat, motionless, as they continued to listen.

"He's not here," Edyth said tensely. "Let's go."

Emmett reached over to help me get out of the harness. "Don't worry, Bella," he said in a low but cheerful voice, "we'll take care of things here quickly."

I felt a lump in my throat as I looked at Emmett. I barely knew him, and yet, somehow, not knowing when I would see him again after tonight was anguishing. I knew this was just a faint taste of the goodbyes I would have to survive the next hour, and the thought made me feel sick.

Emmett seemed to catch my mounting emotions and smiled, placing a large hand on my shoulder and giving it a little squeeze.

"Alice, Emmett." Edyth,'s voice was a command. They slithered soundlessly into the darkness, instantly disappearing. Edyth opened my door and took my hand, then drew me into the protecting enclosure of her arms. She walked me swiftly toward the house, eyes always roving the night.

"Fifteen minutes," she warned under her breath.

"I can do this." I sniffed back the threat of tears, inspiration suddenly dawning.

I stopped on the porch and took hold of her face in my hands. I looked fiercely into her eyes.

"I love you," I said in a low, intense voice. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now."

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Bella" she said just as fiercely.

"Just follow the plan, okay? Keep Charlie safe for me. He's not going to like me very much after this, and I want to have the chance to apologize later."

"Bella," Her voice was urgent, but she hesitated. She pulled me into a tight embrace. "I'm so sorry for my behavior in the Jeep. Please forgive me." Her voice was deeply pained, "I'm wasting time but I've never heard you so angry and I know I was wrong to behave the way I did. Please, forgive me for at least that." She kissed my cheek softly. "Now, please, hurry."

"One more thing," I whispered passionately. "Don't listen to another word I say tonight!" She was leaning in, and so all I had to do was stretch up on my toes to kiss her surprised, frozen lips with as much force as I was capable of. Then I turned and kicked the door open.

"Go away, Edyth! Get the hell away from me!" I yelled at her, running inside and slamming the door shut in her still-shocked face.

"Bella?" Charlie had been hovering in the living room, and he was already on his feet.

"Leave me alone!" I yelled at him with as much anger as I could muster. I ran up the stairs to my room, throwing the door shut and locking it. I ran to my bed, flinging myself on the floor to retrieve my duffel bag. I reached swiftly between the mattress and the box spring to grab the knotted old sock that contained my secret cash hoard.

Charlie was pounding on my door.

"Bella, are you okay? What's going on?" His voice was frightened.

"I'm going home," I shouted, my voice breaking in the perfect spot.

"Did she hurt you?" His tone edged toward anger.

"No!" I yelled. I turned to my dresser, and Edyth was already there, silently yanking out armfuls of random clothes, which she proceeded to throw to me.

"Did she break up with you?" Charlie was perplexed.

"No, she didn't!" I yelled, slightly more breathless as I shoved everything into the bag. Edyth threw another drawer's contents at me. The bag was pretty much full now.

"What happened, Bella?" Charlie shouted through the door, pounding again.

"I broke up with her!" I shouted back, jerking on the zipper of my bag. Edyth's capable hands pushed mine away and zipped it up smoothly. She put the strap carefully over my arm.

"I'll be in the truck—go!" she whispered, and pushed me toward the door. She vanished out the window.

I unlocked the door and pushed past Charlie roughly, struggling with my heavy bag as I ran down the stairs.

"What happened?" He yelled. He was right behind me. "I thought you liked her."

He caught my elbow in the kitchen. Though he was still bewildered, his grip was firm.

He spun me around to look at him, and I could see in his face that he had no intention of letting me leave. I could think of only one way to escape, and it involved hurting him so much that I hated myself for even considering it. But I had no time, and I had to keep him safe.

I glared up at my father, tears forming in my eyes for what I was about to do.

"I do like her—that's the problem. I can't do this anymore. I can't put down anymore roots in this damn place! This stupid, awful small town full of small minded idiots! I don't want to end up trapped here like Mom! I'm not going to make the same dumb mistakes she did. This town is never really going to be okay with someone like me. So what if I throw my life away on some stupid girl here? I'll still be here.I'll still be in Forks and I'll always be miserable. I hate it—I can't stay here another damn minute!"

His hand dropped from my arm like I'd electrocuted him. I turned away from his shocked, devastated face and headed for the door.

"Bella, you can't leave now. It's nighttime," he whispered behind me.

I didn't turn around. "I'll sleep in the truck if I get tired."

"Just wait another week," He pled, still shocked and hurt. "Your mom will be back by then."

This completely derailed me. "What?"

Charlie continued eagerly, almost babbling with relief as I hesitated. "She called while you were out. Things aren't going so well in Florida, and if Phil doesn't get signed by the end of the week, they're going back to Arizona. The assistant coach of the Sidewinders said they might have a spot for another shortstop."

I shook my head, trying to reassemble my now-confused thoughts. Every passing second put Charlie in more danger.

"I have a key," I muttered, turning the knob. He was too close, one hand extended toward me, his face dazed.

"Please, Bella," the hurt in his voice was deep, "I can be better, I can spend more time at the house—we can do more stuff together." His voice was desperate, "Please, I just got you back."

I couldn't lose any more time arguing with him, I couldn't put him in any more danger. I was going to have to hurt him further.

Just let me go, Charlie." I repeated my mother's last words as she'd walked out this same door so many years ago. I said them as angrily as I could manage, and I threw the door open. "It didn't work out, okay? I absolutely hate Forks."

My cruel words did their job—Charlie stayed frozen on the doorstep, stunned, while I ran into the night. I was hideously frightened of the empty yard. I ran wildly for the truck, visualizing a dark shadow behind me. I threw my bag in the bed and wrenched the door open. The key was waiting in the ignition.

"I'll call you tomorrow!" I yelled, wishing more than anything that I could explain everything to him right then, knowing I would never be able to. I gunned the engine and peeled out.

Edyth reached for my hand.

"Pull over," she said as the house, and Charlie, disappeared behind us.

"I can drive," I choked the words out as tears escaped my eyes.

Her long hands unexpectedly gripped my waist, and her foot pushed mine off the gas pedal. She pulled me across her lap, wrenching my hands free of the wheel, and suddenly she was in the driver's seat. The truck didn't swerve an inch.

Without the task of driving to distract me I felt my body go numb, my emotions punched me square in the stomach, and I broke down in violent sobs. I would have hurt Charlie less if I had stabbed him with a knife from the kitchen. The guilt and regret poured over me till I was drowning. After everything Charlie had done for me, after being so perfectly great at being a father to me, I had said those horrible cruel things to him. I was sobbing so hard I felt myself start to shake. Edyth reached out her arm and pulled me tightly to her, I clutched at her shirt, trying to steady my breathing.

"Shhh…" she rubbed my arm with her hand.

"God, I hate myself." The words barely came out.

"You were doing what you had to do to protect him." Her voice was soothing.

Lights flared suddenly behind us. I stared out the back window, eyes wide with horror.

It's just Alice," she reassured me. She took my hand again.

"The tracker?" I sniffled.

"He heard the end of your performance," Edyth said grimly.

"Charlie?" I asked in dread.

"Charlie's fine. The tracker followed us. He's running behind us now."

My body went cold. "Can we outrun him?"

"No." But she sped up as she spoke. The truck's engine whined in protest.

My plan suddenly didn't feel so brilliant anymore.

I was staring back at Alice's headlights when the truck shuddered and a dark shadow sprung up outside the window.

A strangled sound of panic escaped my lips and my fingers dug into Edyth's shirt.

"It's Emmett!"

She wound her arm tightly around my waist.

"It's okay, Bella," she promised. "You're going to be safe."

We raced through the quiet town toward the north highway.

"I didn't realize you were still so bored with small-town life," she said conversationally, and I knew she was trying to distract me. "It seemed like you were adjusting fairly well—especially recently. Maybe I was just flattering myself that I was making life more interesting for you. Then again, I am just some stupid girl."

"I wasn't being nice," I confessed, ignoring her attempt at diversion, looking down at my knees. "That was the same thing my mom said when she left him. You could say I was hitting below the belt."

"Don't worry. He'll forgive you." She smiled a little, though it didn't touch her eyes."

I stared at her desperately, and she saw the naked panic in my eyes.

"Bella, it's going to be all right."

"It won't be, not when you have to leave," I whispered, "I just said my goodbyes to Charlie and now I'll have to say goodbye to you."

"We'll be together again in a few days," she said, tightening her arm around me. "Don't forget that this was your idea."

"It was the best idea—of course it was mine."

Her answering smile was bleak and disappeared immediately.

"Why did this happen?" I asked, my voice catching. "Why me?"

She stared blackly at the road ahead. "It's my fault—I was a fool to expose you like that." The rage in her voice was directed internally.

"That's not what I meant," I insisted. "I was there, big deal. It didn't bother the other two. Why did James decide to kill me? There're people all over the place, why me?"

She hesitated, thinking before she answered.

"I got a good look at his mind tonight," she began in a low voice. "I'm not sure if there's anything I could have done to avoid this, once he saw you. It is partially your fault." Her voice was wry. "If you didn't smell so damn luscious, he might not have bothered. But when I defended you… well, that made it a lot worse. He's not used to being thwarted, no matter how insignificant the object. He thinks of himself as a hunter and nothing else. His existence is consumed with tracking and a challenge is all he asks of life. Suddenly we've presented him with a beautiful challenge—a large clan of strong fighters bent on protecting the one vulnerable element. You wouldn't believe how euphoric he is now. It's his favorite game, and we've just made it his most exciting game ever." Her tone was full of disgust.

She paused a moment.

"But if I had stood by he would have killed you right then," she said with hopeless frustration.

"I thought… I didn't smell the same to the others… as I do to you," I said hesitantly.

"You don't. But that doesn't mean you aren't still a temptation to every one of them. If you had appealed to the tracker—or any of them—the same way you appeal to me, it would have meant a fight right there."

I shuddered.

"I don't think I have any choice but to kill him now," she muttered. "Carlisle won't like it."

I could hear the tires cross the bridge, though I couldn't see the river in the dark. I knew we were getting close. I had to ask her now.

"How can you kill a vampire?"

She glanced at me with unreadable eyes and her voice was suddenly harsh. "The only way to be sure it to tear him to shreds, and then burn the pieces."

"And the other two will fight with him?"

"The red-head will. I'm not sure about Laurent. They don't have a very strong bond—he's only with them for convenience. He was embarrassed by James in the meadow…"

"But James and the red-head—they'll try to kill you?" I asked, my voice raw.

"Bella, don't you dare waste time worrying about me. I put you in danger. It's my fault you had to hurt Charlie and run away from home. Your only concern should be keeping yourself safe."

"Is he still following?"

"Yes. He won't attack the house, though. Not tonight."

She turned off onto the invisible drive, with Alice following behind.

We drove right up to the house. The lights inside were bright, but they did little to alleviate the blackness of the encroaching forest. Emmett had my door open before the truck was stopped; he pulled me out of the seat, tucked me like a football into his vast chest, and ran me through the door.

We burst into the large white room, Edyth and Alice at our sides. All of them were there; they were already on their feet at the sound of our approach. Laurent stood in their midst. I could hear low growls rumble deep in Emmett's throat as he set me down next to Edyth.

"He's tracking us," Edyth announced, glaring balefully at Laurent.

Laurent's face was unhappy. "I was afraid of that."

Alice danced to Jasper's side and whispered in his ear; her lips quivered with the speed of her silent speech. They flew up the stairs together. Royal watched them, and then moved quickly to Emmett's side. His beautiful eyes were intense and—when they flickered unwillingly to my face—furious.

"What will he do?" Carlisle asked Laurent in chilling tones.

"I'm sorry," he answered. "I was afraid when your girl there defended the human that it would set him off."

"Can you stop him?"

Laurent shook his head. "Nothing stops James when he gets started."

"We'll stop him," Emmett promised. There was no doubt what he meant.

"You can't bring him down. I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He's absolutely lethal. That's why I joined his coven."

His coven, I thought, of course. The show of leadership in the clearing was merely that, a show.

Laurent was shaking his head. He glanced at me, perplexed, and back to Carlisle. "Are you sure it's worth it?"

Edyth's enraged roar filled the room; Laurent cringed back.

Carlisle looked gravely at Laurent. "I'm afraid you're going to have to make a choice."

Laurent understood. He deliberated for a moment. His eyes took in every face, and finally swept the bright room.

"I'm intrigued by the life you've created here. But I won't get in the middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won't go up against James. I think I will head north—to that clan in Denali." He hesitated. "Don't underestimate James. He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won't come at you head on… I'm sorry for what's been unleashed here. Truly sorry." He bowed his head, but I saw him flicker another puzzled look at me.

"Go in peace," was Carlisle's formal answer.

Laurent took another long look around himself, and then he hurried out the door.

The silence lasted less than a second.

"How close?" Carlisle looked to Edyth.

Esme was already moving; her hand touched an inconspicuous keypad on the wall, and with a groan, huge metal shutters began sealing up the glass wall. I gaped.

"About three miles out past the river; he's circling around to meet up with the red-head."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll lead them off, and then Jasper and Alice will run Bella south."

"And then?"

Edyth's tone was deadly. "As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt the tracker."

"I guess there's no other choice," Carlisle agreed, his face grim.

Edyth turned to Royal.

"Get her upstairs and trade clothes," Edyth commanded. Royal stared back at her with livid disbelief.

"Why should I?" He hissed. "What is she to me? Except a menace—a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us."

I flinched back from the venom in his voice.

"Roy…," Emmett murmured, putting one hand on his shoulder. He shook it off.

But I was watching Edyth carefully, knowing her temper, worried about her reaction. But Edyth didn't speak. She seemed to be making a conscience effort to maintain composure as she and Royal glared at each other.

"Aw, hell," Emmett finally broke the silence, "C'mon, Bella."

He was at my side in half a heartbeat, swinging me again into his strong arms, and dashing up the stairs before I could react.

"What are we doing?" I asked breathlessly as he set me down in a dark room somewhere off the second-story hall.

"Trying to confuse the smell." Emmett flicked on a light, "It won't work for long, but it might help get you out." He pulled off his shirt and held it out to me.

"I don't think I'll fit…" I hesitated.

He laughed, "Of course it won't; you're probably less than half the size of me." He abruptly pulled my shirt over my head and replaced it with his own. It smelled similar to Edyth's scent—sweet, alluring—but there was something woodsier about Emmett's scent. Emmett quickly dropped his jeans and handed them to me, I slid my own off and yanked his on, but I couldn't get my feet out; they were too long. He deftly rolled the hems a few times so I could stand and pulled the belt he had left on them as tight as it would go.

"Wait here," he commanded, and vanished suddenly. He was back half a second later in a new outfit, he grabbed my old clothes off the floor. "Esme," he called. She was already in the doorway and caught my clothes as he tossed them. Then he scooped me up carried me back to the stairs where Alice stood, a small leather bag in one hand. They flew down the stairs with me in tow.

Emmett set me down at the base of the stairs and went to Edyth's side. It appeared that everything had been settled downstairs in our absence. Edyth looked ready to leave and handed a heavy-looking backpack to Emmett who slung it over his shoulder. Esme appeared from upstairs wearing my old clothes, her hair tucked into a baseball cap. Carlisle met her and gave her something small and flat. He turned and handed Alice the same thing—it appeared to be a cell phone.

"Esme and Royal will be taking your truck, Bella," he told me as he passed. "We're hoping the scent of your clothes might confuse the tracker into thinking Esme is you." I nodded, glancing warily at Royal. He was glowering at Carlisle with a resentful expression.

"Alice, Jasper—take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the south." They nodded as well.

"We'll take the Jeep."

I was surprised to see that Carlisle intended to go with Edyth. I realized suddenly, with a stab of fear, that they made up the hunting party.

"Alice," Carlisle asked, "will they take the bait?"

Everyone watched Alice as she closed her eyes and became incredibly still.

Finally her eyes opened. "He'll track you. The red-head will follow the truck. We should be able to leave after that." Her voice was certain.

"Let's go." Carlisle began to walk toward the kitchen.

Emmett gave me a gentle pat on the back, "Don't ruin that shirt," he grinned. I feebly smiled back; he considered my expression for a moment and pulled me into a tight side-hug. "We'll keep you safe, lil sis." He smiled warmly.

Royal was glaring at us.

Edyth as at my side as soon as Emmett had left. She caught me up in her iron grip, crushing me to her. She seemed unaware of her watching family as she pulled my face to hers, lifting my feet off the floor. For the shortest second, her lips were icy and hard against mine. Then it was over. She set me down, still holding my face, her glorious eyes burning into mine.

"Remember, you are my life."

"I love you."

And she was gone.

I stood there, the others looking away from me as I fought the tears threatening to break free.

The silent moment dragged on, and then Esme's phone vibrated in her hand. It flashed to her ear.

"Now," she said. Royal stalked out the front door without another glance in my direction, but Esme touched my cheek as she passed.

"Be safe." Her whisper lingered behind them as they slipped out the door. I heard my truck start thunderously, and then fade away.

Jasper and Alice waited. Alice's phone seemed to be at her ear before it buzzed.

"Edyth says the red-haired one is on Esme's trail. I'll get the car." She vanished into the shadows the way Edyth had gone.

Jasper and I looked at each other. He stood across the length of the entryway from me… being careful.

"You're wrong, you know," he said quietly.

"What?"

"I can feel what you're feeling now—and you are worth it."

"I don't think I am," I mumble. "If anything happens to any of them, it will be for nothing."

"You're wrong," he repeated, smiling kindly at me.

I heard nothing, but then Alice stepped through the front door and came toward me with her arms held out.

"May I?" she asked.

I stared at her disbelievingly, "Well, at least you're the first person to ask permission." I shrugged in consent.

She lifted me in her slender arms as easily as Emmett had, shielding me protectively, and then we flew out the door, leaving the bright lights behind us


	39. goodbyes Edyth pov

All the lights were on at Bella's house. Charlie was waiting for her. I could sense his muffled thoughts from the living room; sleepy and somewhat expectant.

I pulled up slowly, staying far back from Bella's truck. I was alert and tense, listening for the sounds of the tracker in the surrounding wood both physical and mental. Alice was dividing her attention between reality and her visions, while Emmett looked through every shadow and caught every scent, searching for anything out of place. I cut the engine and Bella sat, motionless, in the silence.

"He's not here," I said, tension strangling the words. "Let's go."

Emmett reached over to help Bella out of the harness. "Don't worry, Bella," he said in a low but cheerful voice, "we'll take care of things here quickly."

Bella said nothing, but her face seemed sad with her eyes locked on Emmett. Emmett smiled, placing his hand on Bella's shoulder.

"Alice, Emmett." I commanded. They vanished into the darkness without a word. I opened Bella's door and took her hand, then pulled her into my arms. I held her close as I walked her toward the door, my eyes watching everywhere.

"Fifteen minutes," I warned under my breath.

"I can do this." She sniffed back the tears that were welling in her anxious eyes.

She stopped at the porch and took my face in her burning hands. Her eyes locked fiercely onto mine.

her voice was low and intense i love you. "I will always love you, no matter what happens now."

"Nothing is going to happen to you, Bella," My voice as fierce and intense as hers.

"Just follow the plan, okay? Keep Charlie safe for me. He's not going to like me very much after this, and I want to have the chance to apologize later."

I couldn't bear to let her leave my arms. "Bella," my voice was urgent, but I hesitated for a moment, not knowing what to say to explain my feelings. I pulled her into a tight, protective embrace. "I'm so sorry for my behavior in the Jeep. Please forgive me." My pain resonated in my voice, "I'm wasting time but I've never heard you so angry and I know I was wrong to begave the way I did. Please, forgive me for at least that." I kissed her cheek, softly. "Now, please, hurry."

"One more thing," she whispered passionately. "Don't listen to another word I say tonight!" She stretched up on her toes and kissed me with such force that even I barely had time to react. Without another word, she turned and kicked the door open.

"Go away, Edyth! Get the hell away from me!" She yelled, running inside and slamming the door shut in my face.

"Bella?" I could hear Charlie call from the direction of the living room.

"Leave me alone!" Bella yelled back, her voice dripping with anger. Then the sound of her feet pounding up the old staircase towards her room, followed by the sound of a slamming door.

For a moment I was stunned, unable to move. I deserved that, of course, but her sudden mercurial shift in moods. Then I began to realize what Bella was doing. In better circumstances, I would have marveled at her cunning. I flew from the porch and up the side of the house to Bella's window.

Charlie was pounding at the door.

"Bella, are you okay? What's going on?" His voice, like his mind, was wrought with concern and breaking on the last word.

im going home Bella shouted

"Did she hurt you Charlie's tone shifted with his mind toward anger.

I hurried to Bella's dresser, I grabbed the keys to her truck and put them in my pocket then began pulling clothes out in armfuls.

"No!" Bella yelled back. She turned to the dresser, and immediately opened her arms to catch the clothing I was pulling out.

"Did she break up with you?" Charlie was perplexed.

"No, she didn't!" Bella yelled, slightly breathless as she shoved everything into a duffel bag sitting on her bed. I pulled more clothing out, not paying attention to what I grabbed, and threw it to Bella who shoved it into the nearly full duffel.

"What happened, Bella?" Charlie shouted through the door, pounding again.

"I broke up with her!" Bella shouted back, ineffectually jerking on the bag's zipper. The words stung, even though they were false. I gently pushed her shaking hands away from the bag and zipped it up smoothly. Then I put the strap carefully over her arm.

"I'll be in the truck—go!" I whispered and pushed her toward the door. I rushed out the window, placed the keys in the ignition of the truck and hid behind it, out of Charlie's eyesight.

"What happened?" I heard Charlie yelling. "I thought you liked her."

Charlie's mind was a mess of confused thoughts, frustration, and concern for his daughter. It sounded like they were near the door. I felt a growing tension as the silence dragged on, though it was only a few seconds. When the silence broke, I could hear the pain and anger in Bella's voice so acutely that it bore into me.

"I do like her—that's the problem." Bella snapped. "I can't do this anymore. I can't put down anymore roots in this damn place! This stupid, awful small town full of small minded idiots! I don't want to end up trapped here like Mom! I'm not going to make the same dumb mistakes she did. This town is never really going to be okay with someone like me. So what if I throw my life away on some stupid girl here? I'll still be here. I'll still be in Forks and I'll always be miserable. I hate it—I can't stay here another damn minute!"

Charlie's mind whirled with shock and devastation as Bella's footsteps came closer to the door.

Bella, you can't leave now. It's nighttime," Charlie whispered.

"I'll sleep in the truck if I get tired."

"Just wait another week," Charlie's voice was pleading now, shocked and hurt. "Your mom will be back then."

"What?" Charlie's voice was bewildered. She was confused about this and it derailed her intentions.

Charlie pounced on Bella's momentary hesitation. "She called while you were out. Things aren't going so well in Florida, if Phil doesn't get signed by the end of the week, they're going back to Arizona. The assistant coach of the Sidewinders said they might have a spot for another shortstop."

Seconds of silence again.

"I have a key," Bella muttered, and the doorknob turned.

"Please, Bella," Charlie begged. I didn't have to interpret his veiled thoughts to viscerally feel the pain and hurt that permeated his voice. "I can do better, I can spend more time at the house—we can do more stuff together." His voice edged on desperation, "Please, I just got you back."

"Just let me go, Charlie." Bella's voice was cold and angry. "It didn't work out, okay? I absolutely hate Forks."

These words, for some reason unknown to me, worked more effectively against Charlie than anything else. His mind plummeted into pain and despair. Bella threw the door open and ran out of the house toward the truck. She threw her bag into the bed and wrenched the door open.

"I'll call you tomorrow!" She yelled, turning the key and gunning the engine, peeling out into the night. I ran along the side of the truck and then smoothly slid through the passenger door into the cab of the truck. Bella didn't seem to even notice my presence. Her hands were gripped tightly on the wheel and her eyes, brimming with tears, were locked on the road in front of her.

I reached for her hand.

"Pull over," I said once the house, and her father, disappeared behind us.

"I can drive," she choked out the words as the tears escaped her eyes.

I felt wretched for putting her through this. I gripped her waist and pushed her foot off the gas pedal with my own. I pulled her across my lap, prying her hands from the wheel, and taking her place in the driver's seat, careful not to let the truck swerve.

She went limp next to me, then she was sobbing violently. I couldn't imagine the agony she felt, leaving her father like that. Her sobs became more and more violent until she was shaking. I reached out my arm and pulled her tightly to my side, her hands clutched at my shirt as she tried to steady her shaking breaths.

"Shhh…" I rubbed her arm with my hand.

"God, I hate myself." Her words were hardly above a rough whisper.

"You were doing what you had to do to protect him." I soothed.

The lights of the jeep flared behind us. Bella stiffened in panic, her eyes wide with horror as she stared out the back window.

"It's just Alice," I reassured her, taking her hand again.

"The tracker?"

"He heard the end of your performance," I said, my voice grim.

"Charlie?" She asked, her voice full of dread.

"Charlie's fine. The tracker followed us. He's running behind us now."

I could hear her heart race, and her body felt suddenly cold. "Can we outrun him?"

"No." I tried to urge the truck to go faster, but the engine only whined in protest.

She was still staring out the back window when the truck shuddered as Emmett landed in the truck bed.

A strangled sound of panic escaped her lips and her fingers dug into my shirt.

"It's Emmett!" I reassured her.

I wound my arm tightly around her waist, trying to will her to calm down.

"It's okay, Bella," I promised. "You're going to be safe."

We raced through the quiet town toward the north highway. I tried desperately to think of a way to distract her.

"I didn't realize you were still so bored with small-town life," I said, using my most conversational tone. I imagined she was too clever to be fooled by attempts at distraction. "It seemed like you were adjusting fairly well—especially recently. Maybe I was just flattering myself that I was making life more interesting for you. Then again, I am just some stupid girl."

"I wasn't being nice," She said quietly, almost to herself, her eyes on her knees. "That was the same thing my mom said when she left him. You could say I was hitting below the belt."

"Don't worry. He'll forgive you." I smiled as best as I could. It was a hollow promise. I couldn't read Charlie Swan's mind. I didn't know for certain. I only knew he loved his daughter very much, so I hoped I was right.

Bella stared at me, desperation and panic in her wide eyes.

"Bella, it's going to be all right."

"It won't be, not when you have to leave," she whispered, "I just said my goodbyes to Charlie and now I'll have to say goodbye to you."

"We'll be together again in a few days," I said, tightening my arm around her. "dont forget this was your idea."

"It was the best idea—of course it was mine."

I answered her with a smile, but I could feel the bleak expression on my face. I knew it wasn't very reassuring and dropped it immediately.

"Why did this happen?" She asked, her voice catching. "Why me?"

As I stared at the dark road ahead I felt the guilt wash over me in burning waves. I knew why. I had seen the tracker—the monster's—mind. "It's my fault—I was a fool to expose you like that." Something in my tone made her eye me warily. Perhaps the unfiltered rage I felt for myself.

"That's not what I meant," she insisted. "I was there, big deal. It didn't bother the other two. Why did James decide to kill me? There're people all over the place, why me?"

The guilt burned anew. As always, she was too perceptive, and she always knew just the wrong question to ask me.

"I got a good look at his mind tonight," my voice was low. "I'm not sure if there's anything I could have done to avoid this once he saw you. It is partially your fault." I tried to sound wry, but I wasn't sure if it was working. "If you didn't smell so damn luscious, he might not have bothered. But when I defended you… well, that made it a lot worse. He's not used to being thwarted, no matter how insignificant the object. He thinks of himself as a hunter and nothing else. His existence is consumed with tracking and a challenge—is all he asks of life. a large clan of strong fighters bent on protecting the one vulnerable element. You wouldn't believe how euphoric he is now. It's his favorite game, and we've just made it his most exciting game ever." I couldn't hide the disgust from my voice as I remembered the unpleasant atmosphere of the monster's mind.

But what could I have done differently? There was nothing.

"But if I had stood by, he would have killed you right then," I sighed, hopelessly.

"I thought… I didn't smell the same to the others… as I do to you," she said hesitantly.

"You don't. But that doesn't mean you aren't still a temptation to every one of them. If you had appealed to the tracker—or any of them—the same way you appeal to me, it would have meant a fight right there."

She shuddered.

"I don't think I have any choice but to kill him now," I muttered. "Carlisle won't like it."

I hoped Carlisle would be understanding, at least. I began to formulate a plan of how we could corner the tracker and perform the deed.

As we began to cross the bridge leading to the house, Bella seemed to become suddenly urgent.

"How can you kill a vampire?"

My eyes flickered toward her. I wondered if her question was out of some morbid curiosity or the need to be reassured that it could actually be done. It was an unpleasant business, but I didn't see the point in being evasive. "The only way to be sure is to tear him to shreds, and then burn the pieces."

"And the other two will fight with him?"

"The red-head will. I'm not sure about Laurent. They don't have a very strong bond—he's only with them for convenience. He was embarrassed by James in the meadow…"

"But James and the red-head—they'll try to kill you?" She asked, her voice raw.

"Bella, don't you dare waste time worrying about me. I put you in danger. It's my fault you had to hurt Charlie and run away from home. Your only concern should be keeping yourself safe."

"Is he still following?"

"Yes. He won't attack the house, though. Not tonight."

I turned off onto the drive, with Alice following close behind.

I drove right up to the house, not daring to stop any farther than I had to. Emmett leapt from the bed of the truck and had Bella's door open before the truck had stopped; he pulled Bella out of the seat, tucked her against his chest and ran him through the door. Alice and I stayed close by his side.

As we reached the main room, I was taken aback by the presence of a mind I did not count among my family. Only Carlisle's gentle, mental assurances kept me from tearing into the room with my teeth bared. Everyone was on their feet and Laurent stood in the midst of them. Alice combed through her visions and Emmett was immediately on edge, deep growls emanating from his chest as he set Bella down next to me.

"He's tracking us," I announced, glaring at Laurent.

Damn fool…"I was afraid of that." Laurent said, unhappily.

Alice rushed to Jasper's side. "We're taking Bella to Phoenix, we need to get ready." She whispered. They hurried up the stairs together. Royal watched them, and then moved quickly to Emmett's side. His eyes flickered, only briefly and unwillingly, to Bella's face and his thoughts were of wordless fury.

"What will he do?" Carlisle coldly asked Laurent.

"I'm sorry," he answered. "I was afraid when your girl there defended the human that it would set him off."

"Can you stop him?"

Laurent shook his head. "Nothing stops James when he gets started."

"We'll stop him," Emmett him dead…

"You can't bring him down. I've never seen anything like him in my three hundred years. He's absolutely lethal. That's why I joined his coven."

Of course… How had I not noticed? The air of superiority in Bella's mind. The slight passiveness in Laurent's… I had been too worried about Bella to notice.

Laurent shook his head. He glanced at Bella, much trouble for just a little human…He glanced back to Carlisle. "Are you sure it's worth it?"

My enraged roar filled the room; Laurent cringed back from me.

Carlisle stepped in, his face grave. "I'm afraid you're going to have to make a choice."

Laurent tempting an offer… All this. Alas, I'm no fool…He thought as he looked across all our faces and around the room.

"I'm intrigued by the life you've created here. But I won't get in the middle of this. I bear none of you any enmity, but I won't go up against James. I think I will head north—to that clan in Denali." He hesitated. "Don't underestimate James. He's got a brilliant mind and unparalleled senses. He's every bit as comfortable in the human world as you seem to be, and he won't come at you head on… I'm sorry for what's been unlashed here. Truly sorry." He bowed his head, but his eyes flickered back to me. could all this be worth such an unremarkable human?

"Go in peace," was Carlisle's coldly formal answer.

Laurent took another look long look around himself, and then hurried out the door.

There was no more time to waste.

"How close?" Carlisle looked to me.

Esme was already moving; her hand touched the inconspicuous keypad on the wall and engaged the security system. With a groan, the huge metal shutters began sealing up the glass wall. I combed the nearby woods for signs of our enemies.

"About three miles out past the river," I answered, "he's circling around to meet up with the red-head."

"What's the plan?"

"We'll lead them off, and then Jasper and Alice will run Bella south."

"And then?"

My tone turned deadly. "As soon as Bella is clear, we hunt the tracker."

"I guess there's no other choice," Carlisle agreed. I didn't need to see his grim face to know how much the thought of destroying James bothered him. Although our enemy, Carlisle detested the loss of any life. Human or vampire.

I turned to Royal.

"Get her upstairs and trade clothes," I commanded. Royal only stared back at me in livid disbelief.

"Why should I?" He hissed. "What is she to me? Except a menace—a danger you've chosen to inflict on all of us."

I felt Bella flinch back from the disgusting venom in Royal's voice.

"Roy…," Emmett murmured, putting one hand on Royal's shoulder, who shook it off.

Bella was watching me cautiously as Royal and I stared each other down. It was a strain, especially in this moment, to keep myself calm.

Maybe she needs to learn, Royal was thinking, his eyes boring into mine.no one comes to save you. Sometimes, you're alone in the world and the world decides your number is up. Sometimes you you should just die.

It was a moment of insight into Royal that I hadn't quite seen before. Angry as I was, I could try to understand his perspective. No one had come to help him when he needed it most. What I couldn't comprehend was why he wouldn't want to help Bella now. Wouldn't he have wanted someone to help him? Whatever deeper thoughts kept Royal from wanting to help now, he kept to himself.

"Aw, hell," Emmett was the first to speak, "C'mon, Bella."

He was immediately at Bella's side, swinging her into his arms, and dashing up the stairs before Bella had time to react.

"Carlisle, please get the cars ready. I need to get Bella's bag from the truck. Esme, can you go upstairs and put on Bella's clothes? Emmett won't fit." I looked to each of them.

They both nodded and turned to leave.

"Thank you… both." I said, stopping them. "You're more than I ever deserved in this life."

We love you, Edyth You are our daughter and we would do anything for you and for Bella. Esme thought before hurrying up the stairs.

Carlisle nodded again, then hurried to the garage.

"I hope she's worth it, Edyth." Royal finally spoke. His voice was cold and unfeeling.

I ignored him and ran to the truck, grabbing Bella's duffel bag. I glanced around the dark woods, listening carefully for any signs of the tracker. Finding only silence, I hurried back inside. Jasper met me inside, handing me a backpack.

"For Emmett," He said. "Is that Bella's?" He held out his hand for the duffel.

"Thank you, Jasper." I nodded. "I mean it, thank you."

He smiled, then chuckled softly. "I think after all the watching out you've done for me, I owe you."

A thought crossed my mind then.

You and your instructions, Edyth, honestly, I could hear Alice's thoughts as she saw the outcome of my decision, somewhere between amusement and annoyance from upstairs.

I ran and grabbed a piece of paper and a pen to jot down a list of instructions for Alice. It was all I could do to ensure everything was taken care of. I finished my list of instructions, folded it up and hurried back to Jasper.

"For Alice." I said, handing the paper to him. He raised an eyebrow.

I can't wait to hear what she thinks of this.

Emmett and Alice came down the stairs then with Bella in tow. Emmett set Bella down at the base of the stairs, she stumbled slightly, looking uneasy in Emmett's oversized clothes. I handed the backpack off to Emmett, who headed out toward the garage. Esme appeared then from upstairs, wearing Bella's old clothes, her hair tucked into a baseball cap. Carlisle appeared from the garage, meeting her at the base of the stairs and handing her a cell phone. He turned and handed Alice another.

"Esme and Royal will be taking your truck, Bella," he explained to Bella as he passed. "We're hoping the scent of your clothes might confuse the tracker into thinking Esme is you." Bella nodded, glancing warily at Royal who, as expected, was glowering at Carlisle resentfully.

"Alice, Jasper—take the Mercedes. You'll need the dark tint in the south."

They nodded as well.

"We'll take the Jeep."

Bella suddenly looked surprised, then upset as her eyes darted between Carlisle and myself.

"Alice," Carlisle asked, "will they take the bait?"

We all watched Alice as she closed her eyes and became incredibly still. I felt some relief as I watched the visions with her.

She opened her eyes. "He'll track you. The red-head will follow the truck. We should be able to leave after that."

"Let's go." Carlisle began to walk toward the kitchen.

Emmett gave Bella a gentle pat on the back, "Don't ruin that shirt," he grinned. Bella managed a feeble smile back; Emmett looked at her for a moment, then pulled her into a tight side-hug. "We'll keep you safe, lil sis." He smiled warmly.

Royal was glaring at them.

I was at Bella's side as soon as Emmett had left. I crushed her to me, taking in as much of her as I could while I still had the chance. Only Bella mattered in that moment as I pulled her face to mine and kissed her. Her lips burned life fire against mine. The kiss was too short, but I had no time. I set her down, still holding her face, my eyes burning into the molten blue of hers.

"Remember, you are my life."

"I love you."

And I forced myself away from her. It was like leaving my heart behind me. But I had to keep her safe, no matter what, and if this was how then I had to be strong.

Carlisle and Emmett met me at the jeep, and we were off, tearing into the night. Carlisle handed me a phone.

"Give the signal." His voice was solemn.

I listened to the night.

Game on…The tracker's mind was easy to find. He began cautiously tracking Carlisle and myself in the jeep. I made the call.

Esme picked up immediately.

"Go." I commanded into the phone, and she hung up.

I listened carefully, waiting. The tracker was still in pursuit of the jeep. At first, it was hard for me to find the red-head, though I wasn't sure why. When I found her, I closed my eyes, concentrating on her strange, shifting mind.

What are you doing… What are you waiting for?

I watched through her mind as Royal stalked out of the house, carrying Esme in his arms, they made it to the truck and took off as fast as the ancient thing could go. Esme stayed low in the cab, keeping her movements slow and timid. The red-head began following, keeping an overly-cautious distance.

I opened my eyes and called Alice's phone, she answered before the first ring had even finished.

"The red-head is following Esme and Royal. Leave now." I paused for a fraction of a second. "And Alice, remember my instructions."

"Edyth says the red-head is on Esme's trail. I'll get the car." I heard her say before she hung up the phone.

I closed my eyes and tried to concentrate on finding the minds of the tracker and the red-head. It was a strange sort of torture. I knew they were pursuing my family, which meant they weren't after Bella. My family was safe enough. I trusted they could take care of themselves. Though I could not banish all worry from my mind. The other side of this torture was that while I could keep an eye on Royal and Esme from the red-head's mind, I had no eyes on Bella. Her absence ate away at my very core.

My entire being ached for her. I could only trust Alice and Jasper to keep her safe and I could only dream and hope that we would be together again.


	40. impatience Bella pov

When I woke up, I was confused. It took me longer than it should have to remember where I was.

The room was too bland to belong anywhere but a hotel. The bedside lamps were bolted to the tables, and the drapes were made from the same fabric as the bedspread.

I tried to remember how I'd gotten to this room, but nothing came at first.

I remembered the sleek black car, the glass in the windows darker than that on a limousine. The engine was almost silent, though we'd raced across the black freeways at more than twice the legal limit.

And I remembered Alice sitting with me on the dark leather backseat. Somehow, during the long night, my head had ended up against her shoulder. She didn't seem to mind my closeness as I leaned against her cold, marble body. I fought back panic and tears thinking about the danger; the danger I was in and the other danger I was worried about.

I asked Alice to keep up a strange stream-of-consciousness future watch all night long. There weren't any details so small they didn't interest me. She'd told me turn by turn how Edyth, Carlisle, and Emmett would be moving through the forest, and though I didn't know any of the landmarks she referenced, I'd been riveted by every word. And then she would go back and describe the same sequence differently, as some decision remapped the future. This happened over and over again, and it was impossible to follow, but I didn't care. As long as the future never put Edyth and her family in danger, I'd be able to fight the panic.

Sometimes she would switch to Esme for me. Esme and Royal were in my truck, heading east. Which meant the red-haired woman was still on their trail.

Alice had a more difficult time seeing Charlie. "Humans are harder than vampires," she told me. "But," she continued, "he's doing fine. Don't worry."

I remembered the sun coming up over a low peak somewhere in California. The light had stung my eyes, but I'd tried not to close them. When I did, the images that flashed behind my lids like still slides were too much. I'd rather my eyes burn than see them again. Charlie's broken expression… Edyth's bared teeth… Royal's furious glare… the red eyes of the tracker staring at me… the dead look in Edyth's eyes when she'd turned away from me…

I kept my eyes open, and the sun moved across the sky.

I remembered my head feeling heavy and light at the same time as we raced through a shallow mountain pass and the sun, behind us now, reflected off the tiled rooftops of my hometown. I hadn't had enough emotion left to be surprised that we'd made a three-day journey in one. I'd stared blankly at the city laid out in front of us, realizing slowly that it was supposed to mean something to me. The scrubby creosote, the palm trees, the green golf course amoebas, the turquoise splotches of swimming pools—these were supposed to be familiar. I was supposed to feel like I was home.

The shadows of the streetlight had slanted across the freeway with lines that were sharper than I remembered. So little darkness. There was no place to hide in these shadows.

"Which way to the airport?" Jasper had asked—the first time he'd spoken since we'd gotten in the car. Though his voice was quiet it had startled me; it was the first sound, besides the purr of the car, to break the long night's silence.

"Stay on the I-ten," I'd answered automatically. "We'll pass right by it."

It had taken me a few seconds more to process the implications of his question. My brain was foggy with exhaustion.

"Are we flying somewhere?" I'd asked Alice. I couldn't think of the plan. This didn't sound right, though.

"No, but it's better to be close, just in case."

I remembered starting the loop around Sky Harbor International… but not ending it. That must have been when my brain had finally crashed.

Though, now that I'd chased the memories down, I did have a vague impression of leaving the car—the sun behind the horizon, my arm draped over Alice's shoulder, her arm around my waist as I stumbled through the warm, dry shadows.

I had no memories of this room.

I looked at the digital clock on the nightstand. The red numbers claimed it was three o'clock, but there was no way to tell if that meant day or night. No light showed around the edges of the thick curtains, but the room was bright with the light from the lamps.

I rose stiffly and staggered to the window, pulling back the drapes.

It was dark outside. Three in the morning, then. The room looked out on a deserted section of the freeway and the new long-term parking garage for the airport. It made me feel better—by a very small amount—to be able to pinpoint time and place.

I looked down. I was still wearing Emmett's giant shirt and too-large pants. I looked around the room and was glad when I saw my duffel bag on top of the low dresser.

A light tap on the door made me jump.

"Can I come in?" Alice asked.

I took a deep breath. "Sure."

She walked in and looked me over. "You look like you could sleep longer." I shook my head.

She darted silently to the window and pulled the curtains shut.

"We'll need to stay inside," she told me.

"Okay." My voice was hoarse; it cracked.

"Thirsty?" she asked.

I shrugged. "I'm okay. How about you?"

She smiled. "Nothing unmanageable. I ordered some food for you—it's in the front room. Edyth reminded me that you have to eat a lot more frequently than we do."

I was instantly more alert. "She called?"

"No." She watched my face fall. "It was before we left. She gave me lots of instructions. Come eat something."

She was out of the room before I could protest that I wasn't hungry. I followed slowly behind her.

There was a living room attached to the bedroom. A low buzz of voices was coming from the TV. Jasper sat at the desk in the corner, his eyes on the TV, but no interest in his expression. Alice perched herself on the arm of the sofa and watched the TV like Jasper.

"What's the latest?" I asked.

"Esme and Royal are back in Forks. The redhead gave up chasing them."

I opened my mouth, but Alice was faster.

"They're watching your father. The redhead won't get past them."

"What is she doing—the redhead, I mean?"

"Working her way through town, looking for you as far as I can tell—she spent some time at the school."

My eyes bulged. "Did she hurt anyone?"

Alice shook her head. "They seem pretty committed to the hunt they already started."

"Edyth?"

"Frustrated, it looks like. They turned on the tracker, but he was already running. He's kept going north. They're chasing him."

I stood there, not sure what to do. Wanting to help, but knowing there was no way I could.

"Eat something, Bella. Edyth gets really difficult when she thinks her instructions aren't being followed to the letter."

There was a tray on the coffee table with a couple of stainless steel covers over the plates on it. I couldn't think of anything to do besides follow Alice's order. I sat on the floor next to the table and pulled off the first cover. I didn't look at the food, I just grabbed something and started eating. I was probably hungry. We hadn't stopped for food during our drive.

They were quiet and motionless while I ate. I stared at the TV, but I couldn't make sense of what was happening. Was it a news show? Was it an infomercial? I wasn't sure. I ate until the plates were empty. I didn't taste any of it.

When there was nothing left to eat, I stared at the wall.

All I could think about was Edyth chasing James. Edyth, faster than the rest. Surely she would catch up with the tracker first.

Laurent's words echoed in my head you can't bring him down. He's absolutely lethal.

Suddenly Jasper was standing over me, closer than usual.

"Bella," he said in a soothing voice. "You have nothing to worry about. You are completely safe here."

"I know."

"Then why are you frightened?" He sounded confused. He might feel my emotions, but he couldn't see the reason behind them.

"You heard what Laurent said. James is lethal. What if something goes wrong and they get separated? If anything happens, if Carlisle or Emmett—or Edyth—" My voice broke. "If that crazy redhead hurts Esme—how do I live with myself when it's my fault? None of you should be risking your lives for—"

"Stop, Bella, stop," he interrupted, his words pouring out so quickly they were hard to understand. "You're worrying about all the wrong things, Bella. Trust me on this—none of us are in jeopardy. You are under enough strain as it is; don't add to it with imaginary worries. Listen to me!" he ordered—I'd looked away. "Our family is strong. Our only fear is losing you."

"But why should you—"

Alice was there then, touching my cheek with her cold fingers. "It's been almost a century that Edyth's been alone. Now she's found you. You can't see the changes that we see, we who have been with her for so long. Do you think any of us want to look into her eyes for the next hundred years if she loses you?"

My guilt started to ease. But even though the calm that spread over me felt totally natural, like it came from inside, I knew better.

"You know I'd do this anyway," Alice added. "Even if Edyth hadn't ask me to."

"Why?"

She smiled. "It's hard to explain without sounded completely ridiculous… Time doesn't mean the same thing to me that it does to you—or Jazz, or anyone else." Jasper grinned and put his arm around her waist. "So this won't make sense to you. But for me, it's like we've already been friends for a long time, Bella. The first second you became a part of Edyth's life, for me it was like we'd already spent hundreds of hours together. We've laughed at Edyth's overreactions together, we've annoyed Royal right out of the house together, we've stayed up all night talking with Carlisle together…"

I stared and she shrugged delicately. "It's how I experience the world."

"We're friends?" I asked, my voice full of wonder.

"Best friends," she told me. "Someday. It was nice of my favorite sister, don't you think, to fall in love with my best friend? I guess I owe her one."

"Huh," was all I could think to say.

Alice laughed.

Jasper rolled his eyes. "Thanks so much, Alice. I just got her calm."

"No, I'm good," I promised. Alice could be lying to make me feel better, but either way it worked. It wasn't so bad if Alice wanted to help me, too. If she wasn't just doing it for Edyth.

"So what do we do now?" I asked.

"We wait for something to change."

It was a very long day.

We stayed in the room. Alice called down to the front desk and asked them to suspend our housekeeping service. The curtains stayed shut, the TV on, though no one watched it. At regular intervals, food was delivered for me.

It was funny how I was suddenly comfortable with Alice. It was like her vision of our friendship, spoken out loud, had made it real. She sat in the chair next to the sofa where I had curled up, and answered all the questions I'd been too nervous to ask before. Sometimes she'd answer them before I asked them. It was a little weird, but I figured that was how everyone else felt around Edyth all the time.

"Yes," she said, when I thought about asking her that. "It's exactly the same. She tries hard not to be obnoxious about it."

She told me about waking up.

"I only remembered one thing, but I'm not even sure it was a memory. I thought I remembered someone saying my name—calling me Alice. But maybe I was remembering something that hadn't happened yet—seeing that someday someone would call me Alice." She smiled at my expression. "I know, it's a circular dilemma, isn't it?"

"My hair?" She ran a hand through her short, inky hair. "It would have been a little short even for 1920. My best guess is disease or perhaps bad behavior."

"Bad behavior?" I asked.

She shrugged. "I might have been in prison."

"You couldn't have been much older than me," I protested.

She put a delicate finger to her chin thoughtfully. "I like to believe if I was a criminal, I was both a mastermind and a prodigy."

Jasper—back at the desk and mostly silent—laughed with me.

"It wasn't confusing the way it probably should have been," Alice said when I asked her what her first visions were like. "It seemed normal—I knew what I was seeing hadn't happened. I think maybe I'd seen things before I changed. Or maybe I just adapt quickly." She smiled, already knowing the question I had waiting. "It was Jasper. He was the first thing I saw." And then, "No, I didn't actually meet him in person until much later."

Something about her tone made me wonder. "How long?"

"Twenty-eight years."

"Twenty-eight…? You had to wait twenty-eight years? But couldn't you…?"

She nodded. "I could have found him earlier. I knew where he was. But he wasn't ready for me yet. If I'd come too early, he would have killed me."

I gasped and stared at him. He raised an eyebrow at me, and I looked back at Alice. She laughed.

"But Edyth said you were the only one who could hold your own against him-?"

Jasper growled—not like he was mad, like he was annoyed. I glanced at him again and he was rolling his eyes.

"We'll never know," Alice said. "If Jazz was really trying to kill Edyth, rather than just playing…? Well, Jazz has a lot of experience. Seeing the future isn't the only reason why I can keep up with Edyth—it's also because it was Jasper who taught me how to fight. Laurent's coven all had their eyes on Emmett—he's pretty spectacular, I grant you. But if it had come to a fight, Emmett wouldn't have been their problem. If they'd taken a closer look at my darling"—she blew him a kiss—"they would have forgotten all about the strong man."

I remembered the first time I'd seen Jasper, in the cafeteria with his family. Beautiful, like the others, but with that edge. Even before I'd put it into words inside my own head, I'd sensed there was something about him that matched up with what Alice was telling me now.

I looked at Alice.

"You can ask him," she said. "But he's not going to tell you."

"She wants to know my story?" Jasper guessed. He laughed once—it was a dark sound. "You're not ready for that, Bella. Believe me."

And though I was still curious, I did believe him.

"You said humans were harder… but you seem to see me pretty well," I noted.

"I'm paying attention, and you're right here," Alice said. "Also, the two-second head starts are simpler than the weather. It's the long term that won't hold still. Even an hour complicates thing. I can only see the course someone is on while they're on it. Once they change their minds—make a new decision, no matter how small—the whole future shifts."

Alice kept me updated on what was happening with the others—which was mostly nothing. James was good at running away. There were tricks, Alice told me. Scents couldn't be tracked through water, for example. James seemed to know the tricks. A half dozen times the trail took them back toward Forks, only to race off in the other direction again. Twice Alice called Carlisle to give him instructions. Once it was something about the direction in which James had jumped off a cliff, the other time it was where they would find his scent on the other side of a river. From the way she described it, she wasn't seeing the hunter, she was seeing Edyth and Carlisle. I guessed she would see her family most clearly. I wanted to ask for the phone, but I knew there wasn't time for me to hear Edyth's voice. They were hunting.

I also knew I was supposed to be rooting for Edyth and the others to succeed, and for my own sake I desperately wanted them to, but I couldn't help but feel relieved knowing the distance between Edyth and James grew larger, despite Alice's help. If it meant I would be stuck in here in this hotel room forever, I wouldn't complain. Whatever kept me safe, kept Edyth safe, and kept her family safe.

There was one more question that I wanted to ask, but I hesitated. It was a question I wanted to know the answer to. Mostly I wanted to know because I was curious, but I also knew that because I had made the choice to go down this road—because I had chosen Edyth—this was something I felt like I needed to know. I think if Jasper hadn't been there, I might have done it sooner. I didn't feel the same ease in his presence that I did now with Alice. Which was probably only because he wasn't trying to make me feel that way.

When I was eating—dinner? Maybe, I couldn't remember which meal I was on—I was thinking about different ways to ask. And then I caught a look on Alice's face and I knew that she already knew what I was trying to ask, and unlike my dozens of other questions, she was choosing not to answer this one.

My eyes narrowed.

"Was this on Edyth's list of instructions?" I asked sourly.

I thought I heard a faint sigh from Jasper's corner. It was probably annoying listening to half a conversation. But he should be used to that. I'd best Edyth and Alice never had to speak out loud at all when they talked to each other.

"It was implied," Alice answered.

I thought about their fight in the Jeep. Was this what it was about?

"I don't suppose our future friendship is enough to shift your loyalties?"

She smirked. "Edyth is my sister."

"Even if you disagree with her on this?"

We stared at each other for a minute.

"That's what you saw," I realized. I felt my eyes get bigger. "And then she got so upset. You already saw it, didn't you?"

"It was only one future among many. I also saw you die," she reminded me.

"But you saw it. It's a possibility."

She shrugged.

"Don't you think I deserve to know, then? Even if there's only the slightest chance?"

She stared at me, deliberating.

"You do," she finally said. "You have the right to know."

I waited.

"You don't know fury like Edyth when she's thwarted," she warned me.

"It's none of her business. This is between you and me. As your friend, I'm begging you."

She paused, then made her choice. "I can tell you the mechanics of it, but I don't remember it myself, and I've never done it or seen it done, so keep in mind that I can only tell you the theory."

"How does someone become a vampire?"

"Oh, is that all?" Jasper muttered behind me. I'd forgotten he was listening.

I waited.

"As predators," Alice began, "we have a glut of weapons in our physical arsenal—much, much more than we need for hunting easy prey like humans. Strength, speed, acute senses, not to mention those of us like Edyth Jasper, and me who have extra senses as well. And then, like a carnivorous flower, we are physically attractive to our prey."

I was seeing it all in my head again—how Edyth had illustrated the same concept for me in the meadow.

She smiled a wide, ominous smile—her teeth glistened. "We have one more, fairly superfluous weapon. We're also venomous. The venom doesn't kill—it's merely incapacitating. It works slowly, spreading through the bloodstream, so that, once bitten, our prey is in too much physical pain to escape us. Mostly superfluous, as I said. If we're that close, our prey doesn't escape. Of course, unless we want it to."

"Carlisle," I said quietly. The holes in the story Edyth had told me were filling themselves in. "So… if the venom is left to spread…?"

"It takes a few days for the transformation to be complete, depending on how much venom is in the bloodstream, how close the venom enters to the heart—Carlisle's creator bit him on the hand on purpose to make it worse. As long as the heart keeps beating, the poison spreads, healing, changing the body as it moves through it. Eventually the heart stops, and the conversion is finished. But all that time, every minute of it, a victim would be wishing for death—screaming for it.

I shuddered.

"It's not pleasant, no."

"Edyth said it was very hard to do… but that sounds simple enough."

"We're also like sharks in a way. Once we taste blood, or even smell it for that matter, it becomes very hard to keep from feeding. Impossible, even. So you see, to actually bite someone, to taste the blood, it would begin the frenzy. It's difficult on both sides—the bloodlust on the one hand, the awful pain on the other."

"Why do you think you don't remember?"

"I don't know. For everyone else, the pain of transformation is the sharpest memory they have of their human life. I remember nothing of being human." Her voice was wistful.

Alice stared past me, motionless. I wondered what it would be like, not to know who you were. To look in the mirror and not recognize the person looking back.

It hurt to think of Alice waking up, lost, confused, not knowing who she was or why she was there. There was something intrinsically good about Alice, about her very being. There was something better than perfection about Alice's face. It was totally pure.

"There are positives to being different," Alice said suddenly. "I don't remember anyone I left behind. I got to skip that pain, too." She looked at me, and her eyes narrowed little bit. "Carlisle,Edyth and Esme all lost everyone who mattered to them before they left being human behind. So there was grief, but not regret. It was different for the others. The physical pain is a quick thing, comparatively, Bella. There are slower ways to suffer…"

"Royal had parents who loved him and depended on him—two little sisters he adored. He could never see them again after he was changed. And then he outlived them all. That kind of pain is very, very slow."

I wondered if she was trying to make me feel bad for Royal—to cut him some slack even if he hated me. Well… it was working.

She shook her head, like she knew I wasn't getting it.

"That's part of the process, Bella. I haven't experienced it. I can't tell you what it feels like. But it's a part of the process."

And then I understood what she was telling me.

She was perfectly still again. I put my arm behind my head and stared up at the ceiling.

If… if ever, someday, Edyth wanted me that way… what would that mean for Mom? What would that mean for Charlie?

There were so many things to think about. Thing I didn't even know I didn't know to think about.

But some things seemed obvious. For whatever reason, Edyth didn't want me thinking about any of this. Why? Was it because She wanted to change me but was afraid I wouldn't let her if I knew how painful it would be? No, Edyth didn't want to change me. She didn't want me to think about the possibility. That was the answer. I considered that and decided, for now, I was okay with that. I couldn't say goodbye to mom and never see her again. The only reason I didn't completely hate myself for what I had said to Charlie was because I was holding on to the hope that I would see him again and beg for his forgiveness. I couldn't leave them forever.

Alice suddenly sprang to her feet.

I looked up at her, startled by the sudden movement, then alarmed again when I saw her face.

It was totally blank—empty, her mouth half open.

Then Jasper was there, gently pushing her back into the chair.

"What do you see?" he asked in a low, soothing voice.

"Something's changed," Alice said, even more quietly.

I leaned closer.

"What is it?"

"A room. It's long—there are mirrors everywhere. The floor is wood. The tracker is in the room, and he's waiting. There's a gold stripe across the mirrors."

"Where is the room?"

"I don't know. Something is missing—another decision hasn't been made yet."

"How much time?"

"It's soon. He'll be in the mirror room today, or maybe tomorrow. It all depends. He's waiting for something." Her face went blank again. "And he's in the dark now."

Jasper's voice was calm, methodical. "What is he doing?"

"He's watching TV… no, he's running a VCR, in the dark, in another place."

"Can you see where he is?"

"No, the space is too dark."

"And the mirror room, what else is there?"

"Just the mirrors, and the gold. It's a band, around the room. This is the room where he waits." Her eyes drifted, then focused on Jasper's face.

"There's nothing else?"

She shook her head. They looked at each other, motionless.

"What does it mean?" I asked.

Neither of them answered for a moment, then Jasper looked at me.

"It means the tracker's plans have changed. He's made a decision that will lead him to the mirror room, and the dark room."

"But we don't know where those rooms are?"

"No."

"But we do know that he won't be in the mountains north of Washington, being hunted. He'll elude them." Alice's voice was bleak.

She picked up the phone just as it vibrated.

"Carlisle," she said. And then she glanced at me. "Yes." She listened for another long moment, then said, "I just saw him." She described the vision like she had for Jasper. "Whatever made him get on that plane… it was leading him to those rooms." She paused. "Yes."

She held out the phone to me. "Bella?"

I yanked it out of her hand. "Hello?"

"Bella," Edyth breathed.

"Oh, Edyth," I said. "Where are you?"

"Outside of Vancouver. I'm sorry, Bella—we lost him. He seems suspicious of us—he stays just far enough away that I can't hear him. He's gone now—looks like he took a plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over."

I could hear Alice filling in Jasper behind me.

"I know. Alice saw that he got away." I sighed.

"You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."

"I'll be fine. Is Esme with Charlie?"

"Yes—the -redhead's been in town. She went to the house, but while Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near your father. Don't worry—Charlies safe with Esme and Royal watching."

"What do you think Victoria is doing?"

"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through the town during the night. Royal traced her through the airport, all the roads around town, the school she's digging, Bella, but there's nothing to find."

"And you're sure Charlie's safe?"

"Yes, Esme won't let him out her sight. And we'll be there soon. If the tracker gets anywhere near Forks, we'll have him."

I swallowed. "Be careful. Stay with Carlisle and Emmett."

"I will."

"I miss you," I whispered.

"I know, believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half of my self away with you."

"Come and get it, then." I challenged.

"As soon as I possibly can. I will make you safe first." Her voice was hard.

"I love you."

"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?"

"Yes, I can."

"I'll come for you soon."

"I'll wait for you."

The phone went dead, and a sudden wave of depression crashed over me. Jasper looked up sharply, and the feeling dissipated.

Jasper went back to watching Alice. She was on the couch, leaning over the table sketching on a piece of hotel stationery. I leaned on the back of the couch, looking over her shoulder.

She drew a room: long, rectangular, with a thinner, square section at the back. She drew lines to show how the wooden planks that made up the floor stretched lengthwise across the room. Down the walls were more lines denoting the breaks in the mirrors. I hadn't been picturing them like that—covering the whole wall that way. And then, wrapping around the walls, waist high, a long band. The band Alice said was gold.

"It's a ballet studio," I said, suddenly recognizing the familiar shapes.

They both looked up at me, surprised.

"Do you know this room?" Jasper's voice sounding calm, but there was an undercurrent to it. Alice leaned closer to the paper, her hand flying across the page now. An emergency exit took shape against the back wall just where I knew it would be; the stereo and TV filled in the right corner foreground.

"It looks like a place where my mom used to teach dance lessons—I took a few lessons there too, but I wasn't any good. It was shaped just the same." I touched the page where the square section jutted out, narrowing the back part of the room. "That's where the bathrooms were—the doors were through the other dance floor. But the stereo was here"—I pointed to the left corner—"it was older, and there wasn't a TV. There was a window in the waiting room—you could see the room from this perspective if you looked through it."

Alice and Jasper were staring at me.

"Are you sure it's the same room?" Jasper asked with the same unnatural calm.

"No, not at all. I mean, most dance studios would look the same—the mirrors, the bar." I moved around the couch to stand at the table, I leaned over and traced my finger along the ballet bar set against the mirrors. "It's just the shape that looked familiar."

"Would you have any reason to go there now?" Alice asked.

"No. I haven't been back since my mom quit—it's probably been ten years."

"So there's no way it could be connected with you?" Alice asked intently.

I shook my head. "I don't even think the same person owns it. I'm sure it's just another dance studio, somewhere else."

"Where was the studio you and your mother went to?" Jasper asked, his voice much more casual than Alice's.

"Just around the corner from our house… I could meet her there when I walked home from school…" My voice trailed off as I watched the look they exchanged.

"Here in Phoenix, then?" He asked, still casual.

"Yes," I whispered. "Fifty-eighth and Cactus."

We all stared in silence at the drawing.

"Alice, is that phone safe?" I asked.

"The number just traces back to Washington," she told me.

"Then I can use it to call my mom."

"She's in Florida, right? She should be safe there."

"She is—but she's coming home soon, and she can't come back to that house while…" A tremor ran through my voice. I was thinking about Victoria searching Charlie's house, the school in Forks where my records were.

"What's her number?" Alice asked. She had the phone in her hand.

"They don't have a permanent number except at the house. She's supposed to check her messages there regularly."

"Jasper?" Alice asked.

He thought about it. "I don't think it could hurt—don't say where you are, obviously."

I nodded, reaching for the phone. I dialed the familiar number, then waited through four rings until my mother's breezy voice came on, telling me to leave a message.

"Mom," I said after the beep, "it's me. Listen, I need you to do something. It's important. As soon as you get this message, call me at this number." Alice pointed to the number already written on the bottom of her picture. I read it carefully, twice. "Please don't go anywhere until you talk to me. Don't worry, I'm okay, But I have to talk to you right way, no matter how late you get this call, all right? I love you, Mom. Bye." I closed my eyes and prayed that no unforeseen change of plans would bring her home before she got my message.

Then we were back to waiting.

I thought about calling Charlie, but I wasn't sure what I could say. I watched the news, concentrating now, watching for stories about Florida, or about spring training—strikes or hurricanes or floods—anything that might send them home early.

It seemed like immortality granted endless patience, too. Neither Jasper nor Alice seemed to feel the need to do anything at all. For a while, Alice sketched the vague outline of the dark room from her vision, as much as she could see in the light from the TV. But when she was done, she simply sat, looking at the blank walls. Jasper, too, seemed to have no urge to pace, or to peek through the curtains, or run screaming out the door, the way I did.

I fell asleep on the couch, waiting for the phone to ring. The touch of Alice's cold hands woke me briefly as she carried me to the bed, but I was unconscious again before my head hit the pillow.

 **so yeah as you can see in my version Bella is not sure about the whole vampire thing because shes actually thinking about her friends and parents. And thats something thats going to impact the series. Also the story is done and should be completed either today or tomorrow thank you for the reviews**


	41. impatience Edyth pov

The days seemed to run together. The never-ending game of cat and mouse, the relentless running, the constant worry. The hunt was still on. It felt as though we were running in circles, and in truth we were. Circles and loops, leading the hunter as far away from Forks as we could. We were heading north. That was the plan. As far north as we could get the tracker to go. Meanwhile, Esme and Royal were leading the red-head east, and my heart was escaping south with Bella.

There were the most ephemeral of moments where I would let my mind wander. Mostly I was entirely preoccupied with reading the tracker's mind. Gauging his decisions, monitoring his thoughts. But every chance I could, I would think of Bella. I would achingly wonder what she was doing, where she was, and—as I so often did—what she was thinking.

Alice had kept me updated as discreetly as she could with too brief phone calls while Bella was sleeping. I wondered how soundly she was resting, I doubted she slept very deeply. I'm sure she was fitful, muttering endlessly in her sleep. I cautioned her to not make her worry more than necessary. I hoped she listened. Surely she was watching us, watching decisions, watching the future and she would tell Bella every detail she could see—as though she would let her skip over anything!

Would it comfort her? No, surely it would only add to her anxiety. The endless cycles of running through unending forests, the feints, the deceits… But as long as the future never spelled out danger, I could run for all of eternity if it kept her safe.

"She's going to be okay, Edyth," Emmett had assured me, the hundredth time in the last hour. "She's tough. I'm not worried about her."

I wanted to share Emmett's assuredness. I knew Bella was strong, I knew she could handle nearly anything, but she was still human. Still so fragile. Physically, there were so many ways she could be hurt, but as the hunt stretched on, I became increasingly aware of all the ways a human's mind could wear down from the constant worry and panic.

By my estimations, Alice and Jasper had made it to Phoenix by now with Bella. Likely they had found a place to stay near a major airport, that would be the most logical plan—just in case.

I was sure Bella was worried, not just about me—why did she always worry so much about me? But also, about Emmett and Carlisle, about Esme and Royal, and especially about Charlie. I wished I could have assured her more that Charlie would forgive her before we had parted. I couldn't read Charlie's mind enough to know exactly what he had been thinking when Bella ran from the house, but I felt that Charlie's love for his daughter was strong enough to get through this.

My only solace, my greatest motivation, was recalling the perfect image of Bella's face in my mind. Her ivory skin, her brown curls, and her piercing blue eyes digging into the core of my very being with that peculiar bewildered gaze of hers. In a strange way, I felt as though I was running towards that image. But with every second, every mile that flew by the image seemed to grow farther and farther away. As if no matter how quickly I ran I couldn't get any closer to Bella. It was more true than metaphorical.

Just when I began to feel we would never stop being chased, the tracker changed the game.

A sudden, swift thought crossed his mind. He was questioning the hunt.

"Carlisle," I called, "He knows we don't have Bella. I think he's known for a while."

"Emmett, turn around!" Carlisle ordered.

Emmett nodded once as we all spun on our heels. The hunter was now the hunted. I could see what Carlisle and Emmett were thinking; similar thoughts, different methods.

Carlisle hoped we could corner the tracker and subdue him, incapacitate him somehow. Emmett, meanwhile, hoped to catch the tracker and destroy him right here in the woods.

Unfortunately, neither outcome was in the cards for us. The tracker was too smart, he was already running—fast—to the north.

I feverishly began to fantasize that I might catch him. That I would get to James before Emmett got his hands on him, before Carlisle had a chance to attempt to reason with him. What would I do? For all Emmett's brute strength, I imagined I would be more cruel by far in my dealings with the tracker… the monster…

I was grateful he chose to continue north—it meant he was heading further away from Bella—but more than anything I was frustrated. The hunt was the tracker's greatest passion, he wasn't giving up. He was just trying to find a different way to claim his prize.

Carlisle's phone vibrated in his pocket, it was to his ear in an instant.

"Esme…" He breathed. "Yes… I see."

I couldn't stop myself from reading his mind. The redhead had given up chasing Esme and Royal, realizing that Bella wasn't with them either. The redhead, Victoria, had retreated back to Forks. Esme was watching over Charlie now, while Royal kept an eye on the redhead's movements.

"Keep me updated." Carlisle said before returning the phone to his pocket. "The redhead was searching the town, the airport, and the school."

What was the game? Surely he didn't actually think we would leave Bella in Forks alone? Unless perhaps they thought Alice and Jasper had stayed in Forks with Bella. It was plausible, but something seemed off to me.

The chase continued, much as it had. I didn't bother keeping track of how long we had been chasing James. He was nearly as good at running away as he was at tracking. Half a dozen times he had led us back towards Forks, only to race off in the other direction again. It was maddening. Being tricked again and again. Twice Alice called Carlisle to give us instructions on how to best catch up to the tracker. We chased him far north to a set of cliffs along the Olympic Peninsula, we lost his trail when he jumped to the waters. Alice informed us he had jumped in a western direction, which helped us estimate where to start looking for the trail again. It helped save some precious time.

The next time Alice called, the tracker had jumped into a river, but she told us where to find his scent again on the other side. I reveled in the frustration he must have felt when we found his trail again so easily. A fleeting solace. I couldn't be sure, of course, he managed to keep himself just out of reach of my abilities. He probably suspected something at this point, wondered how we were able to so quickly find his trail again and again. He was being exceedingly cautious.

"Where do you think you'll take Bella?" Emmett asked, casually, as we ran. "If we can't catch the tracker, I mean. You could go to Alaska?"

"Bella doesn't like the cold." I answered.

"Oh. What about, I don't know, Rio? You like Rio."

"Rio is a good place to disappear to, I suppose."

I was just getting to know the kid, too…He thought, disappointed.

I wanted to tell him that he'd have more chances to get to know Bella, but I didn't know what the future held anymore. I couldn't ask my family to uproot themselves and run with us, could I?

"What's that face?" Emmett asked.

"I don't know. I suppose we'll have to keep moving if it comes to that. I don't like the idea of putting Bella through it, though."

"If you have to go take Bella somewhere, you can count on the rest of us to get the tracker, Edyth. Give us some credit." Emmett chuckled.

"I know you'll all do everything you can," I replied, "but even now he's managed to elude us at every turn. I'm beginning to feel like this may never end."

"What's a few years of hunting?" Emmett deadpanned.

In any other situation, I would have laughed.

"Stop stressing so much." He sighed.

"If only I could."

And we continued running.

My mind wandered, yet again, to Bella. She seemed so far away now in my mind, like I might never see her again. Perhaps I deserved that—to never see Bella again. After all, was it not my own recklessness and selfishness that had put her in such danger? Was it not my own foolishness that had torn us apart? I had done this. I might as well have put Bella on a plane and sent her to the other side of the world.

"You know, we don't visit Canada enough." Emmett mused aloud, pulling me from my thoughts.

I stared at him blankly for a moment. "Emmett… What?"

He looked at me with a confused expression for a moment, before gesturing vaguely at our surroundings.

"Are we in Canada?" I asked. Had I been so absorbed in my own thoughts that I hadn't noticed?

He rolled his eyes, "Come on, Edyth, you've got to pay better attention than that if we're going to catch this guy."

"I don't think that will help much at this point," Carlisle sighed, coming to a stop. "He's gone in there." He pointed to the nearby airport.

"Where's he going?" Emmett huffed, "How'd he book a flight at an airport looking like he did?"

"He's gone back to Forks," I said, frustration rendering the words in a dull monotone.

"You read his mind?" Carlisle asked.

"No, but I'm assuming he'll want to meet up with the redhead."

"It's likely. I'll call Alice." Carlisle said, pulling the phone from his pocket. "Alice." He said, almost immediately. "We've lost the tracker. We followed him all the way to Canada, but we lost him just outside of Vancouver. We're not sure where he's headed to next. Edyth believes he's heading back to Forks." He paused for a moment as Alice responded. I listened to her through his mind as she described the vision she had seen of the tracker. Wherever he was going, he would find himself in two rooms. A room of mirrors and a dark room with a television and a VCR.

"Carlisle." I called.

He nodded once, "Alice, give the phone to Bella." Then he handed his phone to me.

"Hello?" Bella's sweet, anxious voice was like music.

"Bella," I could only breath out her name.

"Oh, Edyth," she cried. "Where are you?"

"Outside of Vancouver. I'm sorry, Bella—we lost him. He seems suspicious of us—he stays just far enough away that I can't hear him. He's gone now—looks like he took a plane. We think he's heading back to Forks to start over."

"I know. Alice saw that he got away." Bella sighed.

"You don't have to worry, though. He won't find anything to lead him to you. You just have to stay there and wait till we find him again."

"I'll be fine. Is Esme with Charlie?"

"Yes—the red-head's been in town. She went to the house, but while Charlie was at work. She hasn't gone near your father. Don't worry—Charlie's safe with Esme and Royal watching."

"What do you think Victoria is doing?"

"Probably trying to pick up the trail. She's been all through the town during the night. Royal traced her through the airport, all the roads around town, the school… she's digging, Bella, but there's nothing to find."

"And you're sure Charlie's safe?"

"Yes, Esme won't let him out of her sight. And we'll be there soon. If the tracker gets anywhere near Forks, we'll have him."

She swallowed. "Be careful. Stay with Carlisle and Emmett."

Always so worried about me. "I will."

"I miss you," she whispered.

"I know, believe me, I know. It's like you've taken half of my self away with you."

"Come and get it, then." She challenged.

The ache I felt was excruciating. I nearly threw the phone down and took off in a run straight to Phoenix right then and there. But I couldn't do that. Not yet. "As soon as I possibly can." I promised her. "I will make you safe first."

"I love you."

"Could you believe that, despite everything I've put you through, I love you, too?"

"Yes, I can." Her voice was gentle.

"I'll come for you soon."

"I'll wait for you."

I had so much more I wanted to say to her, but I couldn't. I felt like if I said anything else I'd forget what I was here for, why I was so impossibly far from her. All I could do was hang up the phone. I turned to Carlisle, and he measured my expression with some concern.

"You look like a mess, Edyth." Emmett raised an eyebrow. "You need to get it together. We've got to get moving."

"Yes," Carlisle agreed. "We best head straight back to Forks."

I turned to run, but Carlisle caught my arm.

"We'll fly there. That way we'll have a better chance of catching the tracker's scent when we arrive in Seattle," he paused, "if he is, in fact, heading back to Forks."

I couldn't fathom the frustration of waiting on a plane to get me to my destination, but Carlisle was right. We straightened up our clothing, ran fingers through our hair, and put on our familiar façade of humanity as we made our way to the airport.

I was largely on autopilot. I was grateful that Carlisle was there. Even after days of running he could still manage to appear perfectly human and at ease. I wouldn't have been able to deal with humans on my own. We caught the first flight out to Seattle. I nearly had to shut down completely to keep myself from feeling like a bomb waiting to explode. Every labored step through the airport, every second that ticked by was a torture.

As the plane took off, I found myself wishing it was taking me further south, to the unforgiving sun of Phoenix and to Bella's ever forgiving arms.


	42. phone call Bella pov

I could feel it was too early again when I woke, and I knew I was getting the schedule of my days and nights slowly reversed. I lay in bed and listened to the quiet voices of Alice and Jasper in the other room. That they were loud enough for me to hear at all was strange. I rolled off the bed and then staggered to the living room.

The clock on the TV said it was just after two in the morning. Alice and Jasper were sitting together on the sofa, Alice sketching again while Jasper looked over her shoulder. They didn't look up when I entered, too engrossed in Alice's work.

I crept to Jasper's side to peek.

"Did she see something more?" I asked him quietly.

"Yes. Something's brought him back to the room with the VCR, but it's light now."

I watched as Alice drew a square room with dark beams across its low ceiling. The walls were paneled in wood, a little too dark, out of date. The floor had a dark carpet with a pattern on it. There was a large window against the south wall, and an opening through the west wall led to the living room. One side of that entrance was stone—a large tan stone fireplace that was open to both rooms. The focus of the room from this perspective, the TV and VCR, balanced on a too-small wooden stand, were in the southwest corner of the room. An aged sectional sofa curved around in front of the TV, a round coffee table in front of it.

"The phone goes there," I whispered, pointing.

They both stared at me.

"That's my mother's house."

Alice was already off the couch, phone in hand, dialing. I stared at the precise rendering of my mother's family room. Uncharacteristically, Jasper slid closer to me. He lightly touched his hand to my shoulder, and the physical contact seemed to make his calming influence stronger. The panic stayed dull, unfocused.

Alice's lips were trembling with the speed of her words, the low buzzing impossible to decipher. I couldn't concentrate.

"Bella," Alice said. I looked at her numbly.

"Bella, Edyth is coming to get you. She and Emmett and Carlisle are going to take you somewhere, to hide you for a while."

"Edyth is coming?"

"Yes, she's catching the first flight out of Seattle. We'll meet her at the airport, and you'll leave with her."

"But, my mom… he came here for my mom, Alice!" Despite Jasper, I could feel the panic rise in my chest.

"Jasper and I will stay till she's safe."

"I can't win, Alice! You can't protect everyone I know forever. Don't you see what he's doing? He's not tracking me at all. He'll find someone, he'll hurt someone I love… Alice, I can't—"

"We'll catch him, Bella she assured me.

"And what if you get hurt, Alice? Do you think that's okay with me? Do you think it's only my human family he can hurt me with?"

Alice looked meaningfully at Jasper. A deep, heavy fog of lethargy washed over me, and my eyes closed without my permission. My mind struggled against the fog, realizing what was happening. I forced my eyes open and stood up, stepping away from Jasper's hand.

"I don't need to sleep," I snapped.

I walked to my room and slammed the door. Alice didn't follow me, the way I half-expected her to. Maybe she could see what my response would be. For nearly four hours I alternated between pacing the room, laying on the bed, and staring at the walls. My mind went around in circles, trying to come up with some way out of this nightmare. There was no escape, only one possible end looming darkly in my future. The only question was how many other people would be hurt before I reached it.

The only solace I could find was knowing Alice and Jasper were in the room next to me, caring for me and my safety. Knowing that Edyth was coming helped, too. Maybe, if I could see her face, I would be able to figure out a solution. Things had a way of working themselves out when we were together, despite the odds.

When the phone rang, I went back to the front room, a little ashamed by my behavior. I hoped I hadn't offended either of them. I hoped they realized that I was nothing but grateful for the sacrifices they were making for me.

Alice was talking at high speed into the phone again. I looked around, but Jasper was gone. The clock said it was five-thirty in the morning.

"They're just boarding their plane," Alice told me. "They'll land at nine-forty-five."

Just a few more hours to get through and she'd be here.

"Where's Jasper?"

"He went to check out."

"You two aren't staying here?"

"No, we're relocating closer to your mother's house."

I felt my stomach begin to knot in response to her words.

But the phone rang gain, distracting me. Alice looked at the number, then held it out to me. I took it quickly from her hand.

"Mom?"

"Bella? Bella?" It was my mom's voice—that familiar tone I'd heard a thousand times in my childhood, anytime I'd gotten too close to the edge of the sidewalk or strayed out of her sight in a crowded place. It was the sound of panic.

"Calm down, Mom," I said in my most soothing voice, walking slowly away from Alice, back to the bedroom. I wasn't sure if I could lie as convincingly with her watching. "Everything is fine, okay? Just give me a minute and I'll explain everything, I promise."

I paused, surprised that she hadn't interrupted me yet.

"Mom?"

"Be very careful not to say anything until I tell you to." The voice I heard now was as unfamiliar as it was unexpected. It was a man's tenor voice, a very pleasant, generic voice—the kind of voice that you heard in the background of luxury car commercials. He spoke very quickly.

"Now, I don't need to hurt your mother, so please do exactly as I say, and she'll be fine. No doubt your friends are with you right now so don't say a word." He paused for a minute while I listened in mute horror. "That's very good," he congratulated. "Now repeat after me, and do try to sound natural. Please say, 'No, Mom, stay where you are.'"

"No, Mom, stay where you are." My voice was barely more than a whisper.

"I can see this is going to be difficult." The voice was amused, still light and friendly. "Why don't you walk into another room now so your face doesn't ruin everything? There's no reason for your mother to suffer. As you're walking say, 'Mom, please listen to me.' Say it now."

"Mom, please listen to me," I pleaded. I walked slowly through the bedroom door, feeling Alice's worried gaze on my back. I shut the door behind me, trying to think clearly through the terror that immobilized my brain.

"There now, are you alone? Just answer yes or no."

"Yes."

"But they can still hear you, I'm sure."

"Yes."

"All right, then," the agreeable voice continued, "say, 'Mom, trust me.'"

"Mom, trust me."

"This worked out rather better than I expected. I was prepared to wait, but your mother arrived ahead of schedule. It's easier this way, isn't it? Less suspense, less anxiety for you."

I waited.

"Now I want you to listen very carefully. I'm going to need you to get away from your friends; do you think you can do that? Answer yes or no."

"No."

"I'm sorry to hear that. I was hoping you would be a little more creative. Do you think you could get away from them if your mother's life depended on it. Answer yes or no."

Somehow, there had to be a way. I remembered that we were going to the airport. It would be crowded, confusingly laid out…

"Yes," I said through my teeth.

"That's better. I'm sure it won't be easy, but if I get the slightest hint that you have any company, well, that would be very bad for your mother," the friendly voice promised, "You must know enough about us by now to realize how quickly I would know if you tried to bring anyone along with you. And how little time I would need to deal with your mother if that was the case. Do you understand? Answer yes or no."

"Yes." My voice broke.

"Very good, Bella now this is what you have to do. I want you to go to your mother's house. Next to the phone there will be a number. Call it, and I'll tell you where to go from there." I already knew where I would go, and where this would end. But I would follow his instructions exactly. "Can you do that? Answer yes or no."

"Yes."

"Before noon, please, Bella. I haven't got all day," he said politely.

"Where's Phil?" I asked tersely.

"Ah, be careful now, Bella. Wait until I ask you to speak, please."

I waited.

"It's important you don't make your friends suspicious when you go back to them. Tell them that your mother called, and that you talked her out of coming home for the time being. Now repeat after me, 'Thank you, Mom." Say it now."

"Thank you, Mom." I felt my stomach churning, I struggled to hold back the nausea.

"Say, 'I love you, Mom, I'll see you soon.' Say it now."

"I love you, Mom, I'll see you soon," I choked out.

"Goodbye, Bella. I look forward to seeing you again." He hung up.

I held the phone to my ear. My joints were frozen with horror—I couldn't unbend my fingers to drop it.

I knew I had to think, but my head was filled with the sound of my mother's panic. Seconds ticked by while I fought for control.

Slowly, slowly, my thoughts started to break past that brick wall of pain. To plan. Because I had no choices now but one: to go to the mirrored room and die. I had no guarantees that doing what he wanted would keep my mother alive. I could only hope that James would be satisfied with winning the game, that beating Edyth would be enough. Despair gripped me; there was no way to bargain, nothing I could offer or withhold that would influence him. But I still had no choice. I had to try.

I pushed the terror back as well as I could. My decision was made. It did no good to waste time agonizing over it. I had to think clearly, because Alice and Jasper were waiting for me, and deceiving them was absolutely essential, and absolutely impossible.

I was suddenly grateful that Jasper was gone. If he had been here to feel my anguish in the last five minutes, how could I have kept them in the dark? I fought back the fear, the horror, tried to stifle it. I couldn't afford to feel now. I didn't know when he would be back.

I tried to concentrate on my escape, then immediately realized that I couldn't plan anything. I had to be undecided. No doubt Alice would see the change soon, if she hadn't already. I couldn't let her see how it happened. How could I get away? Especially when I couldn't even think about it.

I wanted to go see what Alice made of all this—if she'd seen any changes yet—but I knew I had to deal with one more thing alone before Jasper got back.

I had to accept that I would never see Charlie again. That I would never get to ask for his forgiveness and never know if he would ever forgive me. I had to accept that this would be the last time I saw my mother, she would be scared and heartbroken, but I had to hope she would survive this. I would never see my friends back in Forks again, all the wonderful people who had been so kind to the sour new kid who didn't like the rain; Jeremy, Allen, Lauren, Eric, Makayla…

And I would never see Edyth again. Not even one last look at her face to take with me to the mirror room. I was going to hurt her, and I couldn't say goodbye.

I burned in the pain of all this for a moment; all the goodbyes I couldn't have, the last hugs, the final smiles, I let it break me. Then I put myself back together, piece by piece, to go face Alice.

The only expression I could manage was a blank, dead look, but I felt like that was understandable. I was about to walk into the living room when my eye fell on the little bedside table. Gripped by a sudden idea, I knelt down and opened the top drawer. Underneath the complimentary copy of the Bible, there was a stash of stationary and a pen. I took a sheet of paper and an envelope out of the drawer.

"Edyth," I wrote. My hand was shaking, the letters were hardly legible.

I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very sorry.

Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please.

And please, please don't come after him. That's what he wants, I think. I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.

I love you. Forgive me.

Bella.

I folded the letter carefully, and sealed it in the envelope, eventually she would find it. I only hoped she would understand, and listen to me just this once.

And then I carefully sealed away my heart.


	43. hide n seek Bella pov

It had taken much less time than I'd thought—all the terror, the despair, the shattering of my heart. The minutes were ticking by more slowly than usual. I couldn't put off seeing Alice any longer. I was afraid to be in the same room with her, afraid that she would guess what I was thinking… and afraid to hide from her for the same reason. I took a deep breath, put the letter in my pocket, and walked out to the living room to face her.

"Alice," I began but the sight of her cut my words short.

She was bent over the desk, gripping the edge with two hands. Her face—

At first the panic broke through my mask, and I jumped around the couch to get to her. While I was still in motion, I realized what she must be seeing. It brought me up short a few feet away from her.

"Alice," I said again.

She didn't react when I called her name. Her head rocked back slowly from side to side. Her expression brought the panic back again—maybe this wasn't about me, maybe she was watching my mother.

I took another step forward, reaching out to touch her arm.

"Alice!" Jasper's voice whipped from the door, and then he was right behind Alice, his hands curling over hers, loosening them from their grip on the table. Across the room, the door swung shut with a low click.

"What is it?" he demanded. "What did you see?"

She turned her empty face away from me, looking blindly into Jasper's eyes.

"Bella," she said.

"I'm right here." I replied.

Her head twisted, her eyes locked on mine, their expression still strangely blank. I realized that she hadn't been speaking to me—she'd been answering Jasper's question.

"What was it?" I said—and there was no question in my flat, uncaring voice.

Jasper stared at me. I kept my expression vacant and waited. His eyes were confused as they flickered between Alice's face and mine, feeling the chaos. I knew what Alice had seen.

I felt a tranquil atmosphere settle around me. I didn't fight it. I used it to keep my emotions disciplined, under control.

Alice recovered, too. Her face snapped back to its normal expression.

"Nothing, really," she said, her voice amazingly calm and convincing. "Just the same room as before."

She finally looked at me, her expression smooth and withdrawn. "Did you want breakfast?"

"I'll eat at the airport." I was calm, too. Almost like I was borrowing Jasper's extra sense, I could feel Alice's well-concealed desperation to get me out of the room, so that she could be alone with him. So she could tell him that they were doing something wrong, that they were going to fail.

Alice was still focused on me.

"Is your mother all right?"

I had to catch myself from reacting honestly. I had to lie and keep my emotions in check.

"My mom was worried," I said in a monotone voice. "She wanted to come home. It's okay, though. I convinced her to stay in Florida for now."

"That's good."

"Yes," I agreed robotically.

I turned and walked slowly to the bedroom, feeling their eyes following me the whole way. I shut the door behind me, and then I did what I could. I showered and got dressed methodically. I dug through the duffle bag until I found my sock full of money—I emptied it into my pocket.

I was anxious to get to the airport. When I walked back out to the living room, they were ready.

I sat alone this time in the back of the car. Jasper kept shooting glances at me in the mirror when he thought I wouldn't notice. He kept me calm, which I appreciated.

Alice leaned against the passenger door, her face pointed at Jasper, but, behind her dark sunglasses, I knew she was watching me in her peripheral vision. How much had she seen? Was she expecting me to try something? Or was she focused on the tracker's moves?

"Alice?" I asked.

She was wary. "Yes?"

"I wrote a note for my mom," I said slowly. "Would you give it to her? Leave it at the house, I mean?"

"Of course, Bella." Her voice was careful—the way you spoke to someone on the verge of becoming hysterical. They could both see me coming apart. I had to control myself better.

We got to the airport quickly. Luck was with me, or maybe it was just good odds. Edyth's plane was landing in terminal four, the largest terminal, where most flights landed—so it wasn't surprising that hers was. But it was the terminal I needed; the biggest, the most confusing. And there was a door on level three that might be the only chance.

Jasper parked in the center of the garage's fourth floor. I led the way, for once more knowledgeable about my surroundings than they were. We took the elevator down to level three, where the passengers unloaded. Alice and Jasper spent a long time looking at the departing flights board. I could hear them discussing the pros and cons of New York, Atlanta, Chicago. Places I'd never seen. And would never see.

I waited for my opportunity, impatient, unable to stop my toe from tapping. We sat in the long rows of chairs by the metal detectors, Jasper and Alice pretending to people-watch but really watching me. Every time I shifted in my seat they would quickly glance out of the corner of their eyes. I tried to think about my options without making a concrete decision. Should I run? Or would they simply follow? Would they dare to stop me physically in this public place? Or would they simply follow?

I considered what Alice had told me about her visions. She could only see the course someone was on as long as they were on it. She hadn't seen me in the mirror room with James until I'd made the decision to meet him there but despite their wariness, I could tell Alice didn't know when I would leave. I hadn't decided. I had to make a last minute decision she wouldn't see.

I pulled the unmarked envelope out of my pocket and set it on top of Alice's black leather bag. She looked at me.

"My letter," I said. She nodded, tucking it under the top flap. Edyth would find it soon enough.

The minutes passed and Edyth's arrival grew closer. I felt my heart ache with longing for her presence. That made it very hard. I found myself trying to think of excuses to stay, to see her first and then make my escape. But I knew that was impossible if I was going to have any chance to get away.

Several times Alice offered to go get breakfast with me. Later, I told her, not yet.

I stared at the arrival board, watching as flight after flight arrived on time. The flight from Seattle crept closer to the top of the board.

And then, when I had only thirty minutes to make my escape, the numbers changed. Her plane was ten minutes early. I had no more time.

"I think I'll eat now," I said quickly.

Alice stood. "I'll come with you."

I couldn't have her go with me, she would see as soon as I made a decision and she would stop me. She needed to stay here.

"Do you mind if Jasper comes instead?" I asked. "I'm feeling a little…" I didn't finish the sentence. My eyes were wild enough to convey what I didn't say.

Jasper stood up. Alice's eyes were confused, but—I saw to my relief—not suspicious. She must be attributing the change in her vision to some maneuver of the tracker's rather than a betrayal by me.

Jasper walked silently beside me, his hand on the small of my back, as if he were guiding me. I pretended a lack of interest in the first few airport cafes, my head scanning for what I really wanted. And there it was, around the corner, out of Alice's sharp sight: The level-three women's room.

"Do you mind?" I asked Jasper as we passed. "I'll just be a moment." I held my breath hoping he would not have Alice go with me inside.

"I'll be right here," he said.

As soon as the door shut behind me, I was running. I remembered the time I had gotten lost from this bathroom, because it had two exits.

Outside the far door it was only a short sprint to the elevators, and if Jasper stayed where he said he would, I'd never be in his line of sight. I didn't look behind me as I ran. This was my only chance, and even if he saw me, I had to keep going. People stared, but I ignored them. Around the corner the elevators were waiting, and I dashed forward, throwing my hand between the closing doors of a full elevator headed down. I squeezed beside the irritated passengers, and checked to make sure the button for level one had been pushed. It was already lit, and the doors closed.

As soon as the door opened I was off again, to the sound of annoyed murmurs behind me. I slowed myself as I passed the security guards by the luggage carousels, only to break into a run again as the exit doors came into view. I had no way of knowing if Jasper was looking for me yet. I would only have seconds if he was following my scent. I jumped out the automatic doors, nearly smacking into the glass when they opened too slowly.

Along the crowded curb there wasn't a cab in sight.

I had no time. Alice and Jasper were either about to realize I was gone, or they already had. They would find me in a heartbeat.

A shuttle to the Hyatt was just closing its doors a few feet behind me.

"Wait!" I called, running, waving at the driver.

"This is the shuttle to the Hyatt," the driver said in confusion as he opened the doors.

"Yes," I huffed, "that's where I'm going." I hurried up the steps.

He looked askance at my luggage-less state, but then shrugged, not caring enough to ask.

Most of the seats were empty. I sat as far from the other travelers as possible, and watched out the window as first the sidewalk, and then the airport, drifted away. I couldn't help imagining Edyth, where she would stand at the edge of the road when she found the end of my trail. I couldn't dwell on those thoughts, I couldn't be sad yet, I told myself. I still had a long way to go.

My luck held. In front of the Hyatt, a tired-looking couple was getting their last suitcase out of the trunk of a cab. I jumped out of the shuttle and ran to the cab, sliding into the seat behind the driver. The tired couple and the shuttle driver stared at me.

I told the surprised cabbie my mother's address. "I need to get there as soon as possible."

"That's in Scottsdale," he complained.

I threw four twenties over the seat.

"Will that be enough?"

"Sure, kid, no problem."

I sat back against the seat, folding my arms across my chest. The familiar city began to rush around me, but I didn't look out the windows. I exerted myself to maintain control. I was determined not to lose myself at this point, now that my plan was successfully completed. I wouldn't give in to the terror or the anxiety. I had chosen my course. I just had to follow it.

So, instead of panicking, I closed my eyes and spent the drive with Edyth.

I imagined that I had stayed at the airport to meet Edyth. I visualized how I would stand on my toes, the sooner to see her face. How quickly, how gracefully she would move through the crowds of people separating us. And then she would run—a little too fast for a human—to close those last few feet between us and she would wrap her marble arms around me and I would be safe.

I wondered we would have gone. North somewhere, so she could be outside in the day. Or maybe somewhere very remote, so we could lay in the sun together again. I imagined her by the shore, her skin sparkling like the sea. It wouldn't matter how long we had to hide. To be trapped in a hotel room with her would be okay with me. I would desperately miss my friends and my parents, but being with her would make it bearable.

I could see her face so clearly now… almost hear her voice. And, despite all the horror and hopelessness, I was fleetingly happy. I let my fantasy force out the reality of the situation, like a bright light in the dark

"Hey, what was the number?"

The cabbie's question pulled me from my fantasy. I hadn't realized we had gotten close. My anxiety began mounting again.

"Fifty-eight-twenty-one." My voice sounded strangled. The cabbie looked at me with a confused expression.

"Here we are, then." He was anxious for me to get out of his car, probably hoping I wouldn't ask for my change.

"Thank you," I whispered. There was no need to be afraid, I reminded myself. The house was empty. I had to hurry; my mom was waiting for me, frightened, depending on me.

I ran to the door, reaching up automatically to grab the key under the eave. I unlocked the door. It was dark inside, empty, normal. I ran to the phone, turning on the kitchen light on my way. There, on the whiteboard, was a ten-digit number written in a small, neat hand. My fingers stumbled over the keypad, making mistakes. I had to hang up and start again. I took a deep breath and tried again. I was successful this time. I held the phone to my ear with a shaking hand. It rang only once.

"Hello, Bella," that easy voice answered. "That was very quick. I'm impressed."

"Is my mom okay?"

"She's perfectly fine. Don't worry, Bella, I have no quarrel with her. Unless you didn't come alone, of course." Light, amused.

"I'm alone." I'd never been more alone in my entire life.

"Very good. Now, do you know the ballet studio just around the corner from your home?"

"Yes. I know how to get there."

"Well, then, I'll see you very soon."

I hung up.

I ran from the room, through the door, out into the baking heat.

There was no time to look back at my mom's house, and I didn't want to see it as it was now—empty, a symbol of fear instead of sanctuary. The last person to walk through those familiar rooms was my enemy.

From the corner of my eye, I could almost see my mother standing in the shade of the big eucalyptus tree where I'd played as I child. Or kneeling by the little plot of dirt around the mailbox, the cemetery of all the flowers she'd tried to grow. The memories were better than any reality I would see today. But I raced away from them, toward the corner, leaving everything behind me.

I felt so slow, like I was running though water instead of running on concrete. I tripped several times, once falling, catching myself with my hands, scraping them on the sidewalk, and then lurching up to plunge forward again. But at last I made it to the corner. Just another street now; I ran, sweat pouring down my face, gasping. The sun was hot on my skin, too bright as it bounced off the white concrete and blinded me. I felt dangerously exposed. More fiercely than I would have dreamed I was capable of, I wished for the green, protective forests of Forks… of home.

When I rounded the last corner, onto Cactus, I could see the studio, looking just as I remembered it. The parking lot in front was empty, the vertical blinds in all the windows drawn. I couldn't run anymore—I couldn't breathe; exertion and fear had gotten the best of me—no, more than that; I was fighting a panic attack. I hadn't had one in years, and this one threatened to be the worst I ever had, but I couldn't let it stop me now. I thought of my mother to keep my feet moving, one in front of the other.

As I got closer, I could see the sign inside the door. It was handwritten on hot pink paper; it said the studio was closed for spring break. I touched the handle, tugged on it cautiously. It was unlocked. I fought to catch my breath, and opened the door.

The lobby was dark and empty, cool, the air conditioner thrumming. The plastic molded chairs were stacked along the walls, and the carpet smelled like shampoo. The west dance floor was dark, I could see through the open viewing window. The east dance floor, the bigger room, was lit. But the blinds were closed on the window.

Terror seized me so strongly that I was literally trapped by it. I couldn't make my feet move forward.

And then my mother's voice called.

"Bella? Bella?" That same tone of hysterical panic. I sprinted to the door, to the sound of her voice.

"Bella, you scared me! Don't you ever do that to me again!" Her voice continued as I ran into the long, high-ceilinged room.

I stared around me, trying to find where her voice was coming from. I heard her laugh, and I whirled to the sound.

There she was, on the TV screen, tousling my hair in relief. It was Thanksgiving, and I was twelve. We'd gone to see my grandmother in California, the last year before she died. We went to the beach one day, and I'd leaned too far over the edge of the pier. She'd seen my feet flailing, trying to reclaim my balance. "Bella? Bella?" she'd called to me in fear.

And then the TV screen was blue.

I turned slowly. He was standing very still by the back exit, so still I hadn't noticed him at first. In his hand was a remote control. We stared at each other for a long moment, and then he smiled.

He walked toward me, quite close, and then passed me to put the remote down next to the VCR. I turned carefully to watch him.

"Sorry about that, Bella, but isn't it better that your mother didn't really have to be involved in all this?" His voice was courteous, kind.

And suddenly it hit me. My mother was safe. She was still in Florida. She'd never gotten my message. She'd never been terrified by the dark red eyes in the abnormally pale face before me. She was safe.

"Yes," I answered, my voice saturated with relief.

"You don't sound angry that I tricked you."

"I'm not." My sudden high made me brave. What did it matter now? It would soon be over. Charlie and Mom would never be harmed, would never have to fear. I felt almost giddy. Some analytical part of my mind warned me that I was dangerously close to having some sort of anxiety or stress induced breakdown.

"How odd. You really mean it." His dark eyes assessed me with interest. The irises were nearly black, just a hint of ruby around the edges. Thirsty. "I will give your strange coven this much, you humans can be quite interesting. I guess I can see the draw of observing you. It's amazing—some of you seem to have no sense of self-preservation at all."

He was standing a few feet away from me, arms folded, looking at me curiously. There was no menace in his face or stance. He was so very average-looking, nothing remarkable about his face or body at all. Just the white skin, the circled eyes I'd grown too used to. He wore a pale blue, long-sleeved shirt and faded blue jeans.

"I suppose you're going to tell me that your girlfriend will avenge you?" He asked, hopefully it seemed to me.

"No, I don't think so. At least, I asked her not to."

"And what was her reply to that?"

"I don't know." It was strangely easy to converse with this genteel hunter. "I left her a letter."

"How romantic, a last letter. And do you think she will honor it?" His voice was just a little harder now, a hint of sarcasm marring his polite tone.

"I hope so."

"Hmmm. Well, our hopes differ then. You see, this was all just a little too easy, too quick. To be quite honest, I'm disappointed. I expected a much greater challenge. And, after all, I only needed a little luck."

I waited in silence.

"When Victoria couldn't get to your father, I had her find out more about you. There was no sense in running all over the planet chasing you down when I could comfortably wait for you in a place of my choosing. So, after I talked to Victoria, I decided to come to Phoenix to pay your mother a visit. I'd heard you say you were going home. At first, I never dreamed you meant it. But then I wondered. Humans can be very predictable; they like to be somewhere familiar, somewhere safe. And wouldn't it be the perfect ploy, to go to the last place you should be when you're hiding—the place that you said you'd be.

"But of course I wasn't sure, it was just a hunch. I usually get a feeling about the prey that I'm hunting, a sixth sense, if you will. I listened to your message when I got to your mother's house, but of course I couldn't be sure where you'd called from. It was very useful to have your number, but you could have been in Antarctica for all I knew, and the game wouldn't work unless you were close by.

"Then your girlfriend got on a plane to Phoenix. Victoria was monitoring them for me, naturally; in a game with this many players, I couldn't be working alone. And so they told me what I'd hoped, that you were here after all. I was prepared; I'd already been through your charming home movies. And then it was simply a matter of the bluff.

"Very easy, you know, not really up to my standards. So, you see, I'm hoping you're wrong about your girlfriend. Edyth, isn't it?"

I didn't answer. The bravado was wearing off. I sensed that he was coming to the end of his monologue. It wasn't meant for me anyway. There was no glory in beating me, a weak human.

"Would you mind, very much, if I left a little letter of my own for your Edyth?"

He took a step back and touched a palm-sized digital video camera balanced carefully on top of the stereo. A small red light indicated that it was already running. He adjusted it a few times, widened the frame. I stared at him in horror.

"I'm sorry, but I just don't think she'll be able to resist hunting me after she watches this. And I wouldn't want her to miss anything. It was all for her, of course. You're simply a human, who unfortunately was in the wrong place, at the wrong time, and indisputably running with the wrong crowd, I might add."

He stepped toward me, smiling. "Before we begin…"

I felt a curl of nausea in the pit of my stomach as he spoke. This was something I had not anticipated.

"I would just like to rub it in, a little bit. The answer was there all along, and I was so afraid Edyth would see that and ruin my fun. It happened once, oh, ages ago. The one and only time my prey escaped me.

"You see, the vampire who was so stupidly fond of this little victim made the choice that your Edyth was too weak to make. When the old one knew I was after his little friend, he stole her from the asylum where he worked—I never will understand the obsession some vampires seem to form with you humans—and as soon as he freed her he made her safe. She didn't even seem to notice the pain, poor little creature. She'd been stuck in that black hole of a cell for so long. A hundred years earlier and she would have been burned at the stake for her visions. In the nineteen-twenties it was the asylum and the shock treatments. When she opened her eyes, strong with her fresh youth, it was like she'd never seen the sun before. The old vampire made her a strong new vampire, and there was no reason for me to touch her then." He sighed. "I destroyed the old one in vengeance."

"Alice," I breathed, astonished.

"Yes, your little friend. I was surprised to see her in the clearing. So I guess her coven ought to be able to derive some comfort from this experience. I get you, but they get her. The one victim who escaped me, quite an honor, actually.

"And she did smell so delicious. I still regret that I never got to taste… She smelled even better than you do. Sorry—I don't mean to be offensive. You have a very nice smell. Floral, somehow…"

He took another step toward me, till he was just inches away. He ran a hand through my hair, then gently pulled my head to the side. He ran his nose along the length of my exposed neck and jaw, inhaling softly. I wanted so badly to run, but I was frozen. I couldn't even flinch away.

"No," He murmured to himself, inches from my ear. "I don't understand." He sighed, and took a step back from me. "Well, I suppose we should get on with it. And then I can call your friends and tell them where to find you, and my little message."

I was definitely sick now. There was pain coming, I could see it in his eyes. It wouldn't be enough for him to win, to feed and go. There would be no quick end like I'd been counting on. My knees began to shake, and I was afraid I was going to fall.

He stepped back, and began to circle, casually, as if he were trying to get a better view of a statue in a museum. His face was still open and friendly as he decided where to start.

Then he slumped forward, into a crouch I recognized, and his pleasant smile slowly widened, grew, till it wasn't a smile at all but a contortion of teeth, exposed and glistening.

I couldn't help myself—I tried to run. As useless as I knew it would be, as weak as my knees already were, I wasn't going to just go down without a fight. Not after everything I had been through. I bolted for the emergency door.

He was in front of me in a flash. I didn't see if he used his hand or his foot, it was too fast. A crushing blow struck my chest—I felt myself flying backward, first I felt the gold bar buckle against my back, and then heard the crunch as my head bashed into the mirrors. The glass cracked, some of the pieces shattering and splintering on the floor beside me.

I was too stunned to feel the pain. I couldn't breathe yet.

He walked toward me slowly.

"That's a very nice effect," he said, examining the mess of glass, his voice friendly again. "I thought this room would be very visually dynamic for my little film. That's why I picked this place to meet you. It's perfect, isn't it?"

I ignored him, scrambling on my hands and knees, crawling toward the other door.

He was over me at once, his foot stepping down hard on my leg. I heard the sickening snap before I felt it. But then I did feel it, and I couldn't hold back my scream of agony. I twisted up to reach for my leg, and he was standing over me, smiling.

"Would you like to rethink your last request?" he asked pleasantly. His toe nudged my broken leg and I heard a harrowing scream. With a shock, I realized it was mine.

"Wouldn't you rather have Edyth try to find me?" he prompted.

"No!" I croaked. "No, Edyth, don't—" and then something smashed into my face, throwing me back into the broken mirrors.

I felt a fresh pain in my thigh and a sharp rip across my scalp. I lifted my hands to the back of my head and felt the warm wetness begin to spread through my hair with alarming speed, dripping onto my shoulder. My eyes refocused and I looked down at my leg to see a large shard of mirror glass had cut through my jeans and lodged itself into my thigh. With trembling hands I pulled the glass out and the blood began pouring from the open would. I could feel it soaking the leg of my jeans, barely see it pooling on the wood below. The smell of it twisted my stomach.

Through the nausea and dizziness I saw something that gave me a sudden, final shred of hope. His eyes, merely intent before, now burned with an uncontrollable need. The blood—spreading crimson across my white shirt, my jeans, and pooling rapidly on the floor—was driving him mad with thirst. No matter his original intentions, he couldn't draw this out much longer.

Let it be quick now, was all I could hope as the flow of blood from my body sucked my consciousness away with it. My eyes were closing.

I heard, as if from underwater, the final growl of the hunter. I could see, through the long tunnels my eyes had become, his dark shape coming toward me. With my last effort, my hand instinctively raised to protect my face. My eyes closed, and I drifted.


	44. flight Edyth pov

We had just landed in Seattle. It was some time after two in the morning and Carlisle was debating whether to rent a car or simply run back to Forks once we had made it out of the city. Naturally, my impulse was to run. There was no trace of the tracker's scent in the airport and I was anxious to pick up the trail again. I had hoped we'd find him as soon we landed, but not knowing where he had gone made me more frustrated than ever.

I was so sure he would have returned to Forks, to meet up with the red-head if nothing else. I felt genuine fear at the prospect of not knowing where he could possibly be. Being so utterly clueless. We had no lead, we had no direction to go. I prayed Alice had seen something in her visions that might give us some semblance of a lead. I thought of the visions she had relayed to us but try as I might I couldn't fathom where the rooms she had seen could be. They held no importance to me, no spark of recognition.

I was so distracted by my own thoughts I barely noticed Carlisle answer his phone.

"Alice, we—" Carlisle stopped short. He listened as Alice hurriedly explained what had happened. His eyes were wide and he was more still than he should be around humans.

I abandoned all pretense of courtesy and listened through his mind. The tracker was in Phoenix. Or at least he would be. Alice explained that Bella had recognized the mirror room as a dance studio in Phoenix. Moreover, a new vision of Alice's had helped Bella to recognize the room with the television and the VCR as her mother's house. The tracker was closer to Bella than I was.

How could I have been so foolish? I couldn't have been more wrong! Rage, fear, and despair filled every fiber of my being. I felt every muscle tense in my body. I wanted to run straight to Phoenix right then and there.

Emmett moved closer, sensing my rising tension and ready to hold me back should he need to. "Easy, Edyth, easy," he cautioned.

"Emmett," Carlisle's voice was sharp, "first available flight to Phoenix. Now."

Emmett nodded once and left to book the flight.

"Alice," Carlisle's voice was still sharp, "Get Bella to the airport, we're taking the first flight out and we'll meet you there. Once we arrive, we'll take Bella somewhere safe. You and Jasper stay in Phoenix in case her mother comes home."

He hung up the phone, turning to me.

Stay as calm as you can manage,he thought,we're in a very public place Edyth. I made a show of relaxing my posture, but I could see myself in his mind and I didn't look nearly human enough. He sighed, placing a cautious hand on my shoulder. "It will be alright, Edyth." His words were hope, not promise.

"Let's move." Emmett called, waving three tickets at us as he approached. "First flight out isn't 'till six."

Was everything in the universe conspiring together to work against me? I found it increasingly difficult to practice any measure of patience. I quickly did the calculations in my head; it would take three or four hours to get to Phoenix once we were in the air, but if the plane didn't even leave until six then that meant four long hours of waiting, doing nothing and then another long four hours on a plane. This was hell, there was no other explanation.

Eight hours, and the tracker had a head start. I felt completely hopeless.

"What if I start running now?" I snapped, my patience all but spent. "If I run as fast as I can straight to Phoenix—"

"You'll look like a speeding disco ball once the sun comes up," Emmett raised an eyebrow. "Even running as fast as you can, in full on sun? No chance. Someone will see you."

"He's right, Edyth," Carlisle sighed, "The chances of being seen would be too great if you were thinking rationally and cautiously." His eyes locked onto mine, a meaningful expression coloring his gaze. "And you are not thinking rationally, or cautiously."

"But Carlisle—" I tried to argue, but he cut me off.

"Edyth, please." His voice was firm. "I know you are worried, I can't imagine how difficult this must be for you—the thought of waiting—but recklessness won't help Bella right now."

"Besides, Alice and Jasper are with her," Emmett chimed in, "they won't let anything happen to her." I smirk danced on his lips. "Alice already loves the kid so much, she'd probably rip the tracker to pieces all by herself before Jasper could even get close."

"So, please, Edyth," Carlisle continued, "do your best to exercise as much control and patience as you can."

I couldn't argue, with either of them. The logic was sound on both sides. So, with no other choice available to me, I waited.

We sat in the terminal, trying to look human. Carlisle called Esme to inform her of the change of plans and Emmett mindlessly watched the nearby televisions. Occasionally he would elbow me to remind me to not be so still. I had to be still, though. Despite what Carlisle and Emmet had said, I still wanted to run. If I didn't focus all my energy on remaining a statue I would run as fast as I could out of the airport and straight to Bella.

The minutes ticked by, I watched the nearby clock obsessively. Every tick of the second-hand felt like the stab of a knife. In my frustrated impatience I gripped too tightly on the arm of the metal chair I was sitting in. The arm bent and snapped under my stone grip.

Emmett's eyes darted to me, he raised an eyebrow at the broken arm and snorted. "Nice."

"Shut up, Emmett." I growled.

Finally, an announcement came over the speakers around five-thirty that we could board. I was already on my feet and Carlisle was immediately on the phone.

"Alice, we're boarding our plan. We should be landing at nine-forty-five." He said. He paused. "Alright." He turned to me and held out the phone.

I took it and placed it to my ear. "What is it, Alice?" I asked, my voice too sharp.

"Jasper's checking out now." She was speaking at a speed only I could understand. I wondered if Bella was nearby. "We'll take Bella to the airport and stay with her until you get there. Then we'll relocate closer to her mother's house."

"Alright." I could hear the strain in my voice, I wondered how much of it was my frustration and how much of it was my desperate need to just hear Bella's voice again.

"I wanted to tell you the plan, I can't imagine how you must be feeling right now but I promise you, Edyth, I will do everything I can to keep Bella safe until you get here."

"Thank you." I sighed. "I'm sorry, Alice."

"I know. It's alright." She said simply, "Bella just came out of her room, I need to tell her the plan and get her ready."

And the phone went silent.

The flight was even more of a torture than the waiting in the terminal. At least in the terminal I knew Alice could call me if something changed. In the air, I had no way of knowing what was happening on the ground. My only solace was the welcome announcement from the captain that we would be arriving ten minutes sooner than expected.

I felt strange. Normally I felt like I had time to measure and consider everything around me. I didn't feel like that now. I felt like I barely had the time to think anymore. Some part of me reasoned that this must be what it was like to be human. I barely remembered that at this point. I wondered if this must be somewhat how Bella felt.

When the plane landed, my mind began to feverishly imagine seeing her again. She would be there, waiting for me, probably standing on her toes to see over the crowds of people. I imagined how I would have to force myself to move at a decently human pace through the crowd of people between us. And then, when I saw her I would surely lose that composure and run faster than I ought to, so I could more quickly close that unwanted distance between us. I would wrap my arms around her warm, soft body and she'd be with me again. We would be together and she would finally be safe.

But that's not how it would be. We moved cautiously through the terminal, keeping to the shadows, avoiding the sun. Then I heard her.

Edyth! Edyth! Hurry!

Alice's panicked thoughts rang out through the terminal. I caught her scent quickly.

"Carlisle, Emmett—" My words came out in a strangled voice.

They looked at my face with concern. Emmett's eyes widened, Carlisle's face turned grave. We hurried towards where Alice was, Emmett would occasionally catch my arm to slow me down when I started moving too quickly.

I saw Alice, her eyes wide with despair and a piece of paper in her hand, I rushed to her side.

"What is it? Where's Bella?" I hissed.

She didn't need to answer. I saw it in her mind.

She had left with Jasper to get something to eat, but then she ran. She ran away. She was already long gone. Alice's visions told me what I was most afraid of. She was in the mirrored room with the tracker, or she would be very soon.

"No, no, no…" I tried to keep my voice low.

"Edyth…" She held the paper out to me.

I snatched it from her hand and read the words in Bella's handwriting.

I love you. I am so sorry. He has my mom, and I have to try. I know it may not work. I am so very, very sorry.

Don't be angry with Alice and Jasper. If I get away from them it will be a miracle. Tell them thank you for me. Alice especially, please.

And please, please don't come after him. That's what he wants, I think. I can't bear it if anyone has to be hurt because of me, especially you. Please this is the only thing I can ask you now. For me.

I love you. Forgive me.

Bella.

If my heart could still beat it would have stopped, then it would have broken.

"Carlisle…" My voice was strained. "Carlisle, I…"

"We need to move. Now." His voice was serious. "Alice, is my bag in the car?"

"In the trunk, I made sure all your supplies were well stocked." Her eyes flickered to me. "Just in case."

"Let's hope it doesn't come to that." He said solemnly. "Let's go."

"The keys, Jasper has the keys," Alice said, hopelessness coloring her tone.

"Bella doesn't have time for this!" I snapped, and before they could react I was already moving.

"Edyth!" Carlisle called.

"Whoa, sis, come back!" Emmett boomed.

Edyth wait…Alice's pleading thoughts.

But I didn't have time to wait. Bella couldn't afford me waiting.

I rushed through the airport, sliding between the clumsy, agonizingly slow humans. I couldn't run like I wanted to nor would I be able to once I was out of the airport, but I couldn't waste any time.

"You really need to learn some patience, Edyth Alice's chiding voice came from just behind me.

"I don't have time for this, Alice."

"I'm coming with you." She retorted.

"Alice—"

"Make a left," She snapped, turning sharply and heading towards an escalator.

"I can't waste any time getting to Bella." I hissed. "I need to get there fast."

"Oh," Alice's eyes widened with a spark of excitement as the decision I made brought a new vision into focus. "Well, that'll do it." She smirked. "Turn right, through those doors."

Sure enough, parked on the curb just outside the airport in the passenger pick up area was my salvation.

"That's a fast car," her eyes glistened as she glanced over the Ford GT's sleek black paintjob. "The owner isn't looking, let's go."

I sped around to the driver's side and slid into the seat. The keys were in the ignition. Maybe things were finally going my way.

"At least we didn't have to hot-wire it!" Alice chirped.

"As if that would be difficult for you," I sighed.

I hit the gas and sped off, the owner of the car began screaming and cursing from behind us.

"He'll get it back," Alice shrugged, "Probably, at least."

I didn't answer. My eyes were locked on the road, weaving in and out of traffic.

"I told the others where to go, they went to get our car and they should be right behind us." Alice said, glancing in the rearview mirror.

No sooner had she spoken then their car whipped out in front of a slow-moving Toyota and trailed just behind us.

I drove quickly down the hot, dusty roads. Alice sat mostly still, only her head was slowly tilting from side to side as she combed through visions, looking for clues, for some small measure of hope that we might succeed in saving Bella. Occasionally she would give me directions on which way to go. Beyond that, as we weaved through traffic, I began to make plans.

Plans for what I would do if I failed.

After all, there was no hope of continuing on, no point to it if I lost Bella. I could not bear that alternative. My entire existence up to that point had been meaningless, an endless loop of play-acting, of hiding… A half-life. Bella had changed all of that. She had given me purpose again and meaning. She accepted me for the monster I was and loved me despite it. She pushed me to be better. What I wouldn't give to hear her scold me for my temper, to have her chide me for my hasty actions! The thought of never experiencing that again was excruciating. It was a pain greater than any I had ever known or could imagine.

Death, if that's what you could call it, was not so easy for my kind. Was it even death? It was ending the existence of something, yes. But can death come to one who has no life? In any case, it would be difficult. Only another of my kind could give me that release. I couldn't ask Emmett or Jasper. They'd never agree to it. Royal might, though everyone else would try to stop him.

Ah, of course. My only real option became increasingly clear to me the closer we got to our destination. The Volturi.

Stop it right now, Edyth. Don't you dare! Alice's thoughts broke me from my own. we'll get to her in time.

Of course, she would see the course of my decisions as they became more solidified in my mind. Of course, she would be upset. Of course, she would tell me we would make it to Bella in time.

I tried not to think of how devastated Esme would be, the disappointment and heartbreak of Carlisle. Emmett wouldn't be able to understand, but hopefully Royal would provide some solace since I half wondered if he would even care. Alice would never get over it, but Jasper would probably be the most understanding. He knew what it was to be lost, drifting, without purpose and without hope. He had found a second chance when Alice found him. I knew Jasper's mind well enough to know he wouldn't want to continue on without her. He would be on my side.

It was decided. If I was too late I would go to Italy, find some way to provoke the Volturi—break a rule, cause a scene, whatever I had to do—and they would end my existence. They would release me from the unending despair and pain of losing me from the horrifying punishment of existing through all eternity knowing that I, in my never ceasing selfishness, had put her in mortal danger and I, in my insurmountable ineptitude, had failed to save her.

A part of me wondered if it was letting me off too easy. After all, if I failed Bella now then surely, I deserved to suffer for all of eternity. That would be right. That would be fair. It would be cowardly and even more unforgivingly selfish of me to seek escape from that punishment, but how could I not?

"Edyth." Alice's voice was low, serious, full of emotion.

"I'm sorry." Was all I could say.

As we arrived at the small dance studio, I felt my body tense anew. Alice's visions were too erratic to know what had happened or what might happen. The tracker was playing games, making it up as he went. No course was set.

I knew that if Bella had never come to Forks, she wouldn't be facing her death now. If she had never met me, she would not be here. I knew that if by some miracle I managed to save her from this, if I could keep her alive to see tomorrow, the only thing I could do to atone for my sins was to leave her. To hope, despite everything I still so selfishly wanted, that she would find someone else and live a long, happy human life away from me. If the universe would grant me this one favor, I would never ask or expect anything or as long as I continued to exist in this world.

I slammed the brakes, skidding to a stop just outside the dingy building, and leapt from the car, speeding through the burning sunlight.


	45. decision Bella pov

For a moment, I felt myself sink into the dark waters.

I didn't feel anything anymore. The pain was gone, my fear was gone. I was sinking deeper and deeper. It was euphoric, it was so easy.

But then, something grabbed me sharply, violently, by the hand and pulled me out of the water. My hand burned from the pain. The closer I got to the surface, the more pain I felt throughout my body.

As I began to leave those dark waters I could hear a sound—a snarl. It wasn't the hunter; this was a deeper, wilder roar that rang with fury.

The pain in my hand was growing steadily worse, but I couldn't will myself to open my eyes. I couldn't handle the pain—my hand, my leg, my head—it was too much. I would let go, I would let myself die.

And then I heard her.

It was the sound I had been needing, craving, for days now. Her voice.

"Oh no, Bella, no!" Her sweet voice cried in horror.

Behind her voice was another sound—an awful sound of growling and hissing following by a shocking breaking sound, like stone being smashed, then a horrible, guttural scream which cut off suddenly…

I tried to concentrate on her voice instead.

"Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!" She begged.

Yes, I wanted to say. Anything. But I couldn't find my lips.

"Carlisle!" My angel called, agony in her voice. "Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!" And she was sobbing tearless, broken sobs.

She shouldn't cry for me, it was okay. I would die now, and I would miss her but she must not cry. She did everything she could.

There was a point of pressure against my head. It hurt. Then, as that pain broke through the darkness to me, other pains came, stronger pains. I cried out, gasping.

"Bella!" the angel cried.

"She's lost a lot of blood," a calm voice informed me. "Mostly from her leg—watch out, it's broken."

A howl of rage strangled on the angel's lips.

I felt a sharp stab in my side. There was too much pain, I thought death was supposed to be painless?

"Some ribs, too, I think," the methodical voice continued.

But the sharp pains were fading. There was a new pain, a scalding pain in my hand that was overshadowing everything else.

Someone was burning me.

"Edyth." I tried to tell her, but my voice was so heavy and slow. I couldn't understand myself.

"Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you."

"Edyth," I tried again. My voice was a little clearer.

"Yes, I'm here."

"It hurts," I whimpered.

"I know, Bella, I know… Oh god"—and then, away from me, anguished—"can't you do anything?"

"My bag, please… Hold your breath, Alice, it will help," Carlisle promised.

"Alice?" I groaned.

"She's here, she knew where to find you."

"I'm… sorry, Alice."

"Shh… It's okay, Bella, it's okay." Alice's voice comforted me softly.

"My hand hurts," I choked the words out.

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop." Edyth's voice replied.

"No, no," I felt like I had been far away from everything and suddenly I was flying back toward my body. "My hand is burning!" I screamed, I wasn't far away anymore. I was here and I was in agonizing pain. My eyes fluttered open, but I couldn't see her face. Something dark and warm was clouding my eyes. My body began convulsing against my will.

Edyth's voice was frightened. "Bella?"

"It's my hand! It's burning!" I screamed as the pain began to climb up my arm.

"Carlisle! Her hand!"

"He bit her." Carlisle's voice was no longer calm, it was appalled.

I heard Edyth catch her breath in horror.

"Edyth, you have to do it." It was Alice's voice again, close by my head. Cool fingers brushed away the wetness in my eyes.

"No!" she bellowed.

"Alice," I moaned.

"There may be a chance," Carlisle said.

"What?" Edyth begged.

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean." As Carlisle spoke, I could feel more pressure on my head, something poking and pulling at my scalp. The pain of it was lost in the pain of the fire.

"Will that work?" Edyth voice was strained.

"I don't know," Carlisle said. "But we have to hurry."

"Carlisle, I…" Edyth hesitated. "I don't know if I can do that." There was agony in her voice again.

"It's your decision, Edyth, either way. I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."

I writhed in the grip of the fiery torture, the movement making the pain in my leg flare sickeningly.

"Edyth!" I screamed. I realized my eyes were closed again. I opened them desperate to find her face. And I found her. Finally, I could see her face, staring at me, twisted into a mask of indecision and pain.

"Alice, get me something to brace her leg!" Carlisle was bent over me, working on my leg. "Edyth, you must do it now, or it will be too late."

"Alice," Edyth choked out, "will it work?"

"Edyth, I… I can only see once a decision has been made. You know that." Her voice was soft, sad. "Right now, the path she's on leads to her changing."

Edyth choked out another tearless sob.

"You have to make the decision, Edyth." Alice said.

Edyth's face was drawn. I watched her eyes as the doubt was suddenly replaced with a blazing determination. Her jaw tightened. I felt her cool, strong fingers on my burning hand, locking it in place. Then her head bent over it, and her cold lips pressed against my skin.

At first the pain was worse. I screamed and thrashed against the cool hands that held me back. I heard Alice's voice, trying to calm me. Something heavy held my leg to the floor, and Carlisle had me locked in the vise of his stone arms.

Then, slowly, my writhing calmed as my hand grew more and more numb. The fire was dulling, focusing into an ever-smaller point.

I felt my consciousness slipping as the pain subsided. I was afraid to fall back into the darkness, but I didn't think I could fight it anymore.

"Edyth" I tried to say, but I couldn't hear my voice. They could hear me.

"She's right here, Bella."

"Stay, Edyth, stay with me…"

"I will." Her voice was strained, but somehow triumphant

I sighed contentedly. The fire was gone, the other pains dulled. I felt myself slipping away. I was done fighting to stay awake—to stay alive.

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked from somewhere far away.

"Her blood tastes clean," Edyth said quietly. "I can taste the morphine."

"Bella?" Carlisle called to me.

I tried to answer. "Mmmmm?"

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," I sighed. "Thank you, Edyth."

"I love you," she answered.

"I know," I breathed, so tired.

I heard my favorite sound in the world: Edyth's quiet laugh, weak with relief. And I knew I was ready to go.

"Bella?" Carlisle called again, this time there was worry in his voice.

"Carlisle!" Alice's voice was panicked. "I can't see her anymore!"

"Bella? Bella, wake up!" Edyth's voice was panicking, close to me now.

"Alice, what did you see?" Carlisle's voice was miles away now.

"Her future… It's dark." Alice's faraway voice said sadly.

"No!" I could barely hear Edyth howl in agony, "No, not now. Not now, Bella, please!" I thought I felt her close to me, but I couldn't be sure. I could barely feel anything. "Alice, why? Why can't you see?"

"A decision," she replied softly, "a decision has to be made."

I felt myself slip away. I wondered what Alice meant. Edyth made the decision to save me, was that what she meant?

No, I knew what she meant. The decision was mine. The decision to live, or to give up and die.

I weighed out my options, at this point it wasn't so much that I had nothing to live for—I had everything to live for. I had Edyth, I had the Cullens, I had friends at school, and I had my mom and dad. I wanted to see them all again. I wanted to kiss Edyth again, and not becarefulthis time. I wanted to laugh with Emmett or stay up all night talking to Alice. I wanted to go shopping with Jeremy and Allen and hear Jeremy go on and on about Makayla and giggle with Allen about it. I wanted to ask for Charlie's forgiveness, to see him coming home from a fishing trip with that triumphant look on his face. I wanted to hug my mom, my brave mother who despite everything was actually one of the strongest people I knew.

I remembered one time I had come out to the living room late one night to find my mom crying softly at the kitchen table. When I got closer I realized she was crying over pictures of her and Charlie on their wedding day. It would have been their anniversary that day if they had stayed together.

"Mom?" I had called tentatively.

"Oh, Bella!" She shuffled the pictures into a pile, and sniffled softly. "I'm sorry, sweetie, did I wake you up?"

"No, I was thirsty."

"I'll get you some water." She had gotten up and grabbed a glass from the cabinet.

"Mom, are you okay?" I had asked her.

"I'm fine, sweetie." She had smiled, tears still in her eyes.

"Then why are you crying?"

She looked at me for a moment, then came over and hugged me. "Well, Bella, sometimes you just have to cry." She shrugged, "gets out all the sad feelings."

"Do you miss Dad?" I had asked softly.

"I do," she answered, honestly, "I miss Charlie very much."

"Why didn't you stay together then?"

"Well, I think, despite how much we loved each other. We weren't right for each other. We weren't meant to be together forever. We were given one, brief moment. We made the best of it, we made the most of it," She had squeezed me tighter then, "We had you… and that was the very best of it." She had smiled at me. "But our moment was over, and we needed to grow up apart from each other."

"Oh," I said, "Couldn't you guys try to make it work?"

"One day, Bella," she looked at me, very seriously in the eyes, "You'll find someone who you know you're meant to spend your forever with. It won't be just a brief moment. It will be forever. When you find that you fight for it, no matter what. Charlie and I weren't supposed to fight for a forever." She sighed, "At least, I don't think so."

"You don't think so?" I had asked.

"Giving up is easy, Bella. Trying is harder."

And here I was, back in the present, with a choice; a decision to make. I had no future—my course wasn't set. I thought about what my mom had said. Did I get a brief moment with Edyth? Or was she the one I spent my forever with? Did I really have a choice? I did. It was time to set my course, to make a decision.

Dying is easy—peaceful. Living is harder.


	46. decision Edyth pov

**so i just want to say thank you to Julliannab i got both your reviews and im looking forward to the full review :)**

I tore the door of the studio off the hinges and instantly my senses were filled with Bella's scent. Her scent was everywhere, but worse than that, her blood was everywhere. It was like a cloud, heavy around me. I was filled with despair. Was I too late? I couldn't be too late. Please, let me not be too late.

The room to the left was dark, but the lights were on in the larger room to the left, that was where the smell of Bella's blood was coming from. I smashed through the door.

And there she was.

Crumpled on the floor in a quickly growing pool of blood. The mirror on the wall closest to her was smashed, the shards surrounding her.

The tracker was looming over Bella, a wide, sickening grin on his face.

A furious snarl, deep and wild ripped through my body. The tracker's eyes snapped to me at once, they widened for a moment, then he smirked.

I launched myself at him, I cleared the distance of the room and caught him by the neck, slamming him back into the wall far away from Bella. The mirror shattered against his body, and he snarled wildly at me, his arms flailing to catch me and loosen my grip on him.

"Good of you to finally show up!" He hissed. "I was worried this was going to be boring. I made a little movie for you and everything, it's too bad you won't get to see it now."

"I'll destroy you." I seethed. "I will turn you to ash."

"It was so easy to trick you, to trick her." His eyes flicked to Bella and back to me, "And she did taste… so…good."

My absolute fury overtook me, I snarled at him and lunged for his neck. He screamed in agony as my teeth tore through his stony skin, ripping off a chunk of flesh that I spat away. He hissed at me, trying to kick me off of him. I gripped his shoulders and threw him with all my strength across the room.

He wasn't quite able to right himself before he landed. He scrambled to a crouch, ready to attack me, but then Emmett burst into the room and tackled him, followed closely by Jasper, Alice and Carlisle.

"Edyth! Get Bella!" Emmett barked, as he twisted the tracker's arms unnaturally behind his body. The hunter screamed in pain and anger as Emmett continued to wrestle him into submission

I rushed to Bella's side. My fury melted into despair as the scope of her injuries came into view. She had cuts all over her ivory hands, a large gash in her leg which lay at an unnatural angle, and she was covered in her own blood. Her eyes were closed and her skin was paler than usual.

"Oh no, Bella, no!" I cried, my hands desperately trying to find a place I could touch her that wouldn't cause her more pain.

She didn't respond, I could barely hear her heartbeat. Especially over Jasper and Emmett's growling and hissing as they tore the tracker apart behind me.

The hunter let out a guttural scream, my eyes glanced up just in time to see Alice pull his head from his body.

My eyes were instantly back to Bella.

"Bella, please! Bella, listen to me, please, please, Bella, please!" I begged her to wake up, but she didn't so much as move.

"Carlisle!" I called in desperation as my despair overtook me. "Bella, Bella, no, oh please, no, no!" I couldn't stop the sobs as they broke from my chest. I had failed. I had killed the only thing I ever loved.

Carlisle was there in an instant, running his fingers over the back of Bella's head, checking for injuries.

Bella suddenly cried out, gasping.

"Bella!" I cried, half relieved and half despairingly.

"She's lost a lot of blood," Carlisle said calmly, methodically checking every injury. "Mostly from her leg—watch out, it's broken."

A strangled howl of rage broke through my lips.

Carlisle gently ran his hands down Bella's side. "Some ribs, too, I think," he continued.

Bella made a soft, slow sound.

"Bella, you're going to be fine. Can you hear me, Bella? I love you."

"Edyth," Her voice was weak.

"Yes, I'm here."

"It hurts," she whimpered.

"I know, Bella, I know… Oh god"—I had never felt so wretched and useless, I turned to Carlisle, anguished—"can't you do anything?"

"My bag, please…" Carlisle called. Alice was there in an instant. She stopped short, for a moment, then exhaled sharply. "Hold your breath, Alice, it will help," Carlisle advised her.

"Alice?" Bella groaned.

"She's here, she knew where to find you." I tried to soothe her.

"I'm… sorry, Alice."

"Shh… it's okay, Bella, it's okay." She comforted her softly.

"My hand hurts," She choked out the words.

"I know, Bella. Carlisle will give you something, it will stop." I replied.

Carlisle was already preparing an injection of morphine.

"No, no," Her voice became louder as she spoke. "My hand it's burning!" She screamed and opened her eyes; her body began convulsing and spasming.

I felt the fear rising inside of me. "Bella?"

"It's my hand! It's burning!" She screamed again, her arm twisting at her side.

"Carlisle! Her hand!" I turned my eyes to him, pleading.

Carlisle gently caught Bella's flailing arm and turn her hand over. Her eyes widened in shock. "He bit her." All trace of calm had left his voice now, he was utterly appalled as he examined the bloody crescent shaped mark on Bella's hand.

My breath caught in my chest. My mind went blank.

"Edyth," Alice knelt down, close by Bella's head. "You have to do it." She began gently wiping the blood from her 've already seen it, Edyth. Just like I have. What else is there? You have to change her.

As the enormity of what she was suggesting came into focus, I felt as though I was falling from a great height. My despair was overwhelming.

"No!" I bellowed, racked with guilt.

"Alice," Bella moaned.

"There may be a chance," Carlisle said as he pulled a surgical thread and a needle from his bag.

"What?" I begged. Any chance, anything else that could stop this from happening.

"See if you can suck the venom back out. The wound is fairly clean." He began sewing closed the wound on the back of Bella's head as he spoke.

"Will that work?" I asked in a strained voice. I didn't dare grasp on to any hope at this point.

"I don't know," Carlisle answered. "But we have to hurry."

"Carlisle, I…" I hesitated. How could I do this? All this time I had spent combatting my thirst, all the self-control I had exercised up to this point, would it be enough?

Suddenly, I saw her. The monster. That image of myself I had seen in Bella's eyes the first day we met. The hungry, gnawing, greedy, violent killer that I had worked so hard to beat back and vanquish. She was smiling—grinning widely in utter glee.

"I don't know if I can do that." Agony filled my voice.

"It's your decision, Edyth, either way. I can't help you. I have to get this bleeding stopped if you're going to be taking blood from her hand."

"Edyth!" Bella screamed again. I stared down at her and it pained me more than anything to see her suffer this way. Her eyes fluttered open, darting wildly around until they found mine. My heart sank even further as I watched her suffer, knowing I could help her if I was only strong enough.

"Alice, get me something to brace her leg!" Carlisle was trying to hold Bella's leg still now, Alice darted away, and Carlisle looked back up at me. "Edyth, you must do it now, or it will be too late."

"Alice," I choked out as she returned, "will it work?"

She looked at me, sadly. "Edyth, I… I can only see once a decision has been made. You know that." Her voice was unbearably soft and sad. "Right now, the path she's on leads to her changing."

She wasn't lying, I could see it in her mind. Another tearless sob broke from me.

"You have to make the decision, Edyth." Alice said.

I looked down at Bella. Her blue eyes, still so piercing despite the pain that filled them, watched me. Bewildered, questioning, fearful. In an instant, I was back in that biology class that seemed like so long ago now.

I could remember it perfectly, of course. Bella walking down the aisle of the classroom toward me, her scent hitting me for the first time, all it replayed in my mind… but this time, when she turned to look at me, reflected in her eyes I didn't see the monster I had before. This time I saw something else. I saw the woman I had become, the woman she had helped me become. The one who loved her, who protected her, who would do anything she asked. I saw the woman she loved and trusted reflected in the blue pools of her eyes.

I knew then I had to try.

My fingers wrapped around her hand, locking it in place. Then I bent my head down and pressed my lips against her skin.

As I worked to pull the venom from her hand, she screamed and thrashed ever harder than before. Alice did her best to calm her down, but she was beyond that. Carlisle had finished bracing Bella's leg and now held her still in his arms.

At first, the taste of the tracker's venom was nearly overpowering but even then, I could taste Bella's blood. The taste was beyond anything I had experienced before. It was better than I could have ever imagined, ever fantasized. I felt like a dying woman, lost in the desert and finally finding water. As I pulled the venom from her body, as her warm and tantalizing blood filled my mouth, I began to fear that I would be unable to stop now.

I tried to convince myself in those moments between seconds that if Carlisle was strong enough to resist then I could as well. But it was not lost on me that Carlisle had perfected his willpower over hundreds of years to the point where human blood meant nothing to him. Furthermore, I wondered if even Carlisle could resist blood so potent and intoxicating.

I had run out of time to wrestle with this deep, insatiable thirst. There was no more venom in her blood. If I didn't stop, I would kill her. I had to find the will to stop.

And somehow, deep inside of myself, clinging to the woman Bella had helped me become—the woman I wanted to be for her—I found that will. It didn't matter how deliciously tempting her blood was. What mattered what saving Bella.

Slowly, her, pained writhing seemed to calm. Then I tasted the morphine as it spread through her blood. I quickly released her hand, falling back away from her. I had to take long, deep breaths to calm myself as the magnitude of what I had somehow managed to accomplish washed over me.

"Edyth," Anna's voice was soft, quiet.

"She's right here, Bella." Alice soothed.

"Stay, Edyth, stay with me…"

"I will." My voice was strained from the monumental effort of pulling myself away from her hand, and yet I felt somewhat triumphant.

Bella sighed, contended. Her eyes were closed now, and her breathing was slow.

"Is it all out?" Carlisle asked, his fingers on Bella's wrist, checking her pulse.

"Her blood tastes clean," my voice was quiet. "I can taste the morphine."

"Bella?" Carlisle said.

"Mmmm?"

"Is the fire gone?"

"Yes," Bella sighed. "Thank you, Edyth."

"I love you," I answered.

"I know," She breathed, like she was drifting off to sleep.

I couldn't help but laugh with utter relief that finally—finally—it was all over and she was safe.

A moment—far too brief—passed over us.

"Bella?" Carlisle's voice was worried now. His fingers ran along Bella's wrist.

I realized half a second after he spoke what had troubled him: Bella's heart was slowing. Slowing too much.

"Carlisle!" Alice's voice was panicked. Suddenly, her visions had shifted and there was nothing. "I can't see her anymore!"

"Bella? Bella, wake up!" I leaned in close to her, my hands gently holding her face.

"Alice, what did you see?" Carlisle's panicked eyes darted to her.

"Her future… it's dark." The sadness in her voice was overwhelming.

"No!" I howled in agony, "No, not now. Not now, Bella, please!" She didn't respond, and I turned to Alice, desperate. "Alice, why? Why can't you see?"

"A decision," she replied softly, "a decision has to be made."

It was a decision outside of my control, there was nothing I could do anymore. This decision was Bella's, and hers alone. For the first time in my immortal life, I felt completely weak and utterly helpless. I held Bella's beautiful face in my hands. If I could still cry tears, I was sure they would have been flowing unendingly. Her heart was barely beating, her breathing was impossibly slow and shallow.

"Bella, please, please stay with me." I begged, "Please don't leave me. I'm so sorry. I'm sorry for everything I put you through. I'm sorry that I was such a fool. Please, please stay with me. I love you, Bella. I love you more than anything in this world… Please."Please don't die baby I need you I sobbed.

I looked around, desperate and lost. Carlisle had his fingers pressed against Bella's wrist, monitoring her pulse with an increasingly worried expression. Alice stood close by, her hands clasped over her mouth, her eyes closed. There was nothing she could see but darkness.

I could just see Emmett hovering in the doorway on the far side of the room with a sad, defeated expression on his face. Jasper stood further back, solemn and grave, and the light of a slowly growing fire danced beyond them.

How could this happen? How could I have come so close and still lost her? I closed my eyes and cradled Bella in my arms and I desperately searched my brain for anything I could do to save her. Was there anything? Or was I truly as useless as I was selfish? As powerless as I was foolish?

I played through every moment, every memory I had of her in my mind. Crystal clear as the day they happened. That first meeting, the accident in the school parking lot, the fight in the hospital, Port Angeles, every day in school, the meadow—our meadow. That first kiss…. Every moment, every choice, and every decision leading up to this moment.

"Please, Bella… Please…" I breathed, shakily. "I love you."

Then suddenly, she inhaled a deep breath, and her heart began beating stronger.


	47. promise Bella pov

My eyes opened to a bright, white light. I was in an unfamiliar room, a white room. The wall beside me was covered in long vertical blinds; over my head, the glaring white lights blinded me. I was propped up on a hard, uneven bed—a bed with rails. The pillows were flat and lumpy. There was an annoying beeping sound somewhere close by. I hoped that meant I was still alive. I hadn't chosen to try and live just to end up in some uncomfortable white-washed death.

My hands were all twisted up with clear tubes, and something was taped across my face, under my nose. I lifted my hand to rip it off.

"No, you don't." And cool fingers caught my hand.

"Edyth?" I turned my head slightly, and her exquisite face was just inches from mine, her chin resting on the edge of my pillow. A look of profound relief on her beautiful face. I smiled at her.

"Hi."

"Hi," She smiled sadly.

"What happened?" I couldn't remember clearly, and my mind wasn't cooperating with me at the moment.

"I was almost too late. I could have been too late," she whispered, her voice tormented.

"I'm sorry, Edyth. I thought he had my mom."

"He tricked us all."

"I need to call Charlie and my mom," I realized through the haze.

"Alice called them. Your mother is here—well, here in the hospital. She's getting something to eat right now."

"She's here?" I tried to sit up, but the spinning in my head accelerated, and her hand pushed me gently down onto the pillows.

"She'll be back soon," she promised. "And you need to stay still."

"But what did you tell her?" I panicked. I had no interest in being soothed. My mom was here and I was recovering from a vampire attack. "Why did you tell her I'm here?"

"You fell down two flights of stairs and through a window." She paused. "You have to admit, it could happen."

I sighed, and it hurt. I stared down at my body under the sheet, the huge lump that was my leg.

"How bad am I?" I asked.

"You have a broken leg, four broken ribs, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin, and you've lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it—it made you smell all wrong for a while."

"That must have been a nice change for you."

"No, I like how you smell."

"How did you do it?" I asked quietly. She knew what I meant at once.

"I'm not sure." She looked away from my wondering eyes, lifting my gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in hers, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting me to one of the monitors.

I waited patiently for the rest.

She sighed without returning my gaze. "It was impossible to stop," she whispered. "Impossible. But I did." She looked up finally, with half a smile. "I must love you."

"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" I smiled in response. That hurt my face. "Even better—better than I'd imagined."

"Damn right, I do." She laughed, loudly. It was so nice to hear her laugh again.

"Even then," she said after a moment, "I thought I had still lost you. Despite everything."

"Can't get rid of me that easy," I tried to shrug, but it hurt too much.

"Alice couldn't see you." Her voice was a whisper now, "I thought you were gone forever."

"I hadn't made the decision yet." I said simply. She looked at me confused, "Giving up is easy, trying is harder." I repeated my mother's words from all those years ago. "I had too much to try for."

"I'm glad." Her face was still sad, but there was happiness there.

Some very unpleasant memories were beginning to come back to me. I shuddered, and then winced.

She was instantly anxious. "Bella, what's wrong?"

"What happened to James?"

"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him." There was a fierce note of regret in her voice.

This confused me. "I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

"They had to leave the room… there was a lot of blood. Emmett was devastated. He wanted to stay and help. I thought he might cry." Edyth's voice was slightly amused.

"But you stayed."

"Yes, I stayed."

"And Alice, and Carlisle…," I said in wonder

"They love you, too, you know."

A flash of painful images from the last time I'd seen Alice reminded me of something. "James, he knew Alice! Did she see the tape?" I asked anxiously.

"Yes." A new sound darkened her voice, a tone of sheer hatred.

"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember."

"I know. She understands now." Her voice was even, but her face was black with fury.

I tried to reach her face with my free hand, but something stopped me. I glanced down to see the IV pulling at my hand.

"Ugh." I winced.

"What is it?" she asked anxiously—distracted, but not enough. The bleakness did not entirely leave her eyes.

"Needles," I explained, looking away from the one in my hand. I concentrated on a warped ceiling tile and tried to breathe deeply despite the ache in my ribs.

"Afraid of a needle," she muttered to herself under her breath, shaking her head. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…"

I rolled my eyes. I was pleased to discover that this reaction, at least, was pain-free. I decided to change the subject.

"Why are you here?" I asked.

She stared at me, first in confusion and then hurt touching her eyes. Her brows pulled together as she frowned. "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" I protested, "No, of course not, you beautiful idiot. No, I meant, why does my mother think you're here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back."

"Oh," she said, and her forehead smoothed back into marble. "I came to Phoenix to talk to you, to convince you to come back to Forks." Her wide eyes were so earnest and sincere, I almost believed her myself. "You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice—of course I was here with parental supervision," she inserted virtuously, "but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and… well, you know the rest. You don't need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points." She sighed, "Did you just call me an idiot?"

"Give me a break; I'm broken in like a hundred places and on pain medication." I snickered, "Besides, I called you a beautiful idiot."

She smirked in response.

"There are a few flaws with your story, though." I continued, "Like no broken windows."

"Not really," she said. "Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. It's all been taken care of very convincingly—you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to. You have nothing to worry about," she promised, stroking my cheek with the lightest of touches. "You're only job now is to heal."

"I think I can manage that," I sighed.

She leaned in slowly and pressed her lips ever so gently to mine, I sighed happily, then winced from the pain. She pulled back abruptly, her expression anxious.

"It seems I'm going to have to be more careful with you than usual." She frowned.

"I was not finished kissing you," I complained. "Don't make me come over there. Get back here."

"Yes, Mam." She grinned, and bent to press her lips lightly to mine.

But then she pulled away suddenly.

"I think I hear your mother," she said, grinning again.

"Oh god, don't leave me now." I felt the panic of having to face my mother, I would have a hard enough time not being hysterical after being so worried about her, but seeing me like this couldn't be easy for her either.

She read the terror in my eyes for a short second. "I won't," she promised solemnly, and then she smiled. "I'll take a nap."

She moved from the hard plastic chair by my side to the turquoise faux0leather recliner at the foot of my bed, leaning it all the way back, and closing her eyes. She was perfectly still.

"Don't forget to breathe," I whispered sarcastically. She took a deep breath, her eyes still closed.

I could hear my mother now. She was talking to someone, maybe a nurse, and she sounded tired and upset. I wanted to jump out of the bed and run to her, to calm her, promise her that everything was fine. But I wasn't in any sort of shape for that, so I waited impatiently.

The door opened a crack, and she peeked through.

"Mom!" I whispered, my voice full of love and relief.

She flew to my side "Oh, Bella, I'm so happy you're awake, hon."

She briefly glanced at Edyth's still form on the recliner, "She never leaves, does she?" She whispered to me.

"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!"

She hugged me gently, and I felt warm tears falling on my cheeks.

Bella, I was so upset."

"I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay," I comforted her.

"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open." She sat on the edge of my bed.

I suddenly realized I didn't have any idea when it was. "How long have I been out?"

"It's Friday, hon, you've been out for a while."

"Friday?" I was shocked. I tried to remember what day it had been when… but I didn't want to think about that.

"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey—you've got a lot of injuries."

"I know. I feel them." I said, bleakly.

"You're lucky Dr. Cullen was there. He's such a nice man… very young, though. And he looks more like a model than a doctor…"

"You met Carlisle?"

"And Edyth's sister Alice. She's a lovely girl."

"She is," I agreed wholeheartedly.

She glanced over her shoulder at Edyth, lying with her eyes closed in the chair. "You didn't tell me you had such good friends in Forks."

I tried to shift my position in the bed, it hurt terribly, and I couldn't help but moan in pain.

"What hurts?" she demanded anxiously, turning back to me. Edyth's eyes flashed to my face.

"It's fine," I assured them. "I just have to remember to not move." She lapsed back into her phony slumber.

I took advantage of my mother's momentary distraction to keep the subject from returning to my less-than-candid behavior. "Where's Phil?" I asked quickly.

"Florida—Oh, Bella! You'll never guess! Just when we were about to leave, the best news!"

"Phil got signed?" I guessed.

"Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?"

"That's great, Mom," I smiled.

"And you'll like Jacksonville so much," she gushed while I stared at her vacantly. "I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really isn'tthatbad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, it's just a few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bathroom—"

"Wait, Mom!" I interrupted. Edyth still had her eyes closed, but she looked too tense to pass as asleep. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to Florida. I live in Forks."

"But you don't have to anymore, silly," she laughed. "Phill will be able to be around so much more now… we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him."

"Mom." I hesitated, wondering how to best be diplomatic about this. "Iwantto live in Forks. I realized it when I was back here in Phoenix. I missed it. I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of friends"—she glanced toward Edyth again when I reminded her of friends, so I tried another direction—"and Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook at all."

"You want to stay in Forks?" she asked, bewildered. The idea was inconceivable to her. And then her eyes flickered back toward Edyth. "Why?"

"I told you—school, Charlie—ouch!" I'd shrugged. Not a good idea.

Her hands fluttered helplessly over me, trying to find a safe place to lay. She made do with my forehead; it was unbandaged.

"Bella, honey, you hate Forks," she reminded me.

"It's not so bad."

She frowned, "You don't have to keep trying to like it."

"Giving up is easy, trying is harder." I said again.

"But trying makes all the difference." She finished, smiling. I had forgotten the last part.

She was beginning to understand now, she glanced between Edyth and Me. "Is it this girl?" she whispered.

I opened my mouth to lie, but I didn't want to lie to her. I wanted to tell her the truth.

"She's part of it," I admitted. "So, have you had a chance to talk to Edyth?"

"Yes." She hesitated, looking at her perfectly still form. "And I want to talk to you about that."

"What about?"

"I think that girl is in love with you," she accused, keeping her voice low.

"I think so, too," I confided.

"And how do you feel about her?" She only poorly concealed the raging curiosity in her voice.

I sighed, and smiled. "I'm pretty crazy about her, I guess."

"Well, she seems very nice, and, my goodness, she's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young Bella…" her voice was unsure. I could hear the worry in her voice, the thoughts of herself, so young, falling in love, and the pain it had caused her. She only had my best interests at heart. My strong, wonderful mother. Who had to break her own heart to say goodbye to Charlie but still managed to go on, to choose life. To try.

"Don't worry, Mom. It's just a crush." I soothed her.

"Oh, I'm sure," she smiled at me, knowing better.

Then she sighed and glanced guiltily over her shoulder at the big round clock at the wall.

"Do you need to go?"

She bit her lip. "Phil's supposed to call in a little while… He's been so worried about you…"

"No problem, Mom. I won't be alone."

"I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here." She said.

"Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home—I'll never notice." The swirl of painkillers in my brain was making it hard to concentrate even now, though, apparently, I'd been sleeping for days.

"I was too nervous," she admitted sheepishly. "There's been some crime in the neighborhood, and I don't like being there alone."

"Crime?" I asked in alarm.

"Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground—there's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when I used to teach dance there, honey?"

"I remember." I shivered, and winced.

"I can stay, baby, if you need me."

"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edyth will be with me."

She looked like that might be why she wanted to stay. "I'll be back tonight." It sounded as much like a warning as it sounded like a promise, and she glanced at Edyth again as she said it.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Bella. Please be careful when you walk, honey, I don't want to lose you."

Edyth's eyes stayed closed, but a wide grin flash across her face.

A nurse came bustling in then to check all my tubes and wires. My mother kissed my forehead, patted my gauze-wrapped hand, and left.

The nurse was my vitals and the monitors. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"I'm fine," I assured her.

"I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a minute."

As soon as she closed the door, Edyth was at my side.

"You stole a car?" I raised my eyebrows.

She smiled, unrepentant. "It was a good car, very fast."

"Edyth!" I scolded. She just smiled. I sighed, "how was your nap?"

"Interesting." Her eyes narrowed.

"What?"

She looked down while she answered. "I'm surprised. I thought Florida… and your mother… well, I thought that's what you would want. To go someplace where I can't hurt you anymore."

"Are you tired of having to save me all the time?" I asked.

She looked surprised, "No, Bella, of course not. I would do anything to keep you safe. I would save you a hundred times over."

"Then why would I go to Florida?"

"Because then…" Her face was dark, her voice pained, "then I couldn't hurt you anymore. My very presence is a danger to you, Bella, every second I'm around you. I'm not worthy of your love, I'll get you killed and—"

"Shhh," I soothed her. "There's a difference between the danger you put me in and the danger around me. Don't you see that?"

"No. It's all my fault."

"You really are a beautiful idiot." I sighed, "Do you want me to go away?"

"No!" She sounded almost panicked, "No, I don't want to be without you Bella, of course not. But," she dropped her eyes, "I'm the one putting you in danger… I'm the reason you're here."

"Yes, you are the reason." I frowned. "The reason I'm here—alive."

"Barely." Her voice was just a whisper. "Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move."

"But I'm still here." I insisted.

"I thought I lost you, Bella." Her voice was so low, I could barely hear her. "Seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and broken." Her voice was choked. "Thinking I was too late, hearing you scream in pain—all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. And the worst feeling… fearing that I couldn't stop. I thought after all that, I would be the one to kill you myself."

"But you didn't."

"I could have. So easily."

"But, again, you didn't." I sighed. "I'm here, Edyth. I chose you. Maybe that makes me an idiot, but that's what I what."

"Even if I'm so terrible for you? Even if I put you in—"

"If you say you put me in danger one more time I'm doing to hit you in the head with my plaster cast."

She smiled, a little. I smiled back.

"I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you." Her eyes were full of emotion.

"For once, I'm glad you're not strong enough for something." I teased.

Something buzzed softly in Edyth's pocket, the phone was at her ear in a flash.

"Hello?" Her face was momentarily confused, then she sighed. "Yes, she's fine—Yes… Oh fine, here." She held the phone to my ear. "For you," She sighed.

"Hello?" I asked tentatively.

"Hey, lil sis!" Emmett's boisterous voice came from the phone.

"Emmett! Hi!" I chuckled, "How are you?"

"How am I? How are you?" He laughed, "You're the one that fell through a window." He teased.

"Well, I've had better days." I sighed.

"Bella, I'm sorry I couldn't stay." His voice sounded sad, "It was just…"

"I know, Emmett, thank you for trying."

"Jasper says hey, too! He's glad you're awake!"

"Tell him I'm sorry for ditching him at the airport." I said.

"He forgives you," Emmett's voice was smiling. "Hey, wait, here's someone else who wants to talk to you."

I heard him quietly arguing with someone on the other end, "Roy! Come on, babe!" I heard him say, then it sounded like someone grabbed the phone from his hand and huffed loudly.

"Hello, Bella." Royal's annoyed voice came over the phone. "I'm glad you're not dead." His tone contradicted his words, though.

"Thanks…" I said, "Hey, Royal?"

He didn't say anything.

"Thank you for watching over Charlie. I really appreciate it."

Royal was silent for a moment, "You're welcome, Bella." He said finally.

There was shuffling on the other end, and Emmett's voice was back. "See? Everyone's happy now!"

"Thanks, Emmett." I chuckled.

"Hey, I'll let you get back to Edyth. Get better, lil sis!"

"Bye, Emmett."

Edyth took the phone back and put it back in her pocket.

"See? They all love you." She said, simply.

"I'm glad," I smiled.

Just then a nurse walked into the room. Edyth sat still as stone as she looked me over.

"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed.

"No, no," I mumbled. "I'm fine for now."

"No need to be brave, dear. It's better if you rest."

"Maybe in a bit?" I offered.

"Okay," she sighed. "Hit the call button when you're ready." She turned and left the room without another word.

I felt a thought in the back of my head. Something that had been bothering me. "Edyth, why did you stop me from changing?"

"What?" her eyes were wary.

"Why didn't you let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you."

Edyth's eyes turned flat black, and I remembered that this was something she'd never intended me to know. Alice must have been preoccupied by the things she'd learned about herself… or she'd been very careful with her thoughts around her—clearly, she'd had no idea that she'd filled me in on the mechanics of vampire conversions. She was surprised, and infuriated. Her nostrils flared, her mouth looked as if it was chiseled from stone.

She wasn't going to answer, that much was clear.

"Mind your temper." I warned her. She took a deep breath for my benefit. I sighed. "I'm just asking, because since you seem so afraid of hurting me or getting me killed, wouldn't it have been easier to let me change? Let me become like you? Able to defend myself. Maybe even I would have the chance to save you for a change."

She folded her arms on the side of my bed and rested her chin on her arms. Her expression was smooth, the anger reined in. Evidently she'd decided she wasn't angry with me. I hoped I'd get a chance to warn Alice before she caught up with her.

"You have saved me," she said quietly.

My hand found her arm, "Edyth…"

"You don't know what you're asking." Her voice was soft; she stared intently at the edge of the pillowcase. "I've had nearly a century to think about this, and I'm still not sure."

"Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?"

"No, I don't wish that." She paused before continuing. "But my life was over. I wasn't giving anything up."

"I see," was all I could say.

"I can't do it, Bella. I won't do that to you."

"I'm not asking you to." I said softly.

She looked up at me surprised, "What?"

"I'm not asking you to change me, I'm just asking why you didn't let me change?"

Her eyes looked sad, she didn't answer.

"Alice already saw it, didn't she?" I guessed. "That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you… someday."

"She's wrong. She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either."

"But this is the course I'm on, isn't it?" I pressed, "The decision has been made. It's just a matter of following that course."

She stared at me, her eyes full of sadness and remorse.

"I'm not asking you to change me tomorrow, or even in three days." I soothed her, "I just need to know where everything stands. I made this decision, and if my vampire girlfriend's vampire sister can see where that decision leads me then I'd just like to be prepared but I'm not asking you to change me tho."

"Am I worth it?" I could tell from her tone she didn't believe she was.

"I don't think I would have put myself through all this if I didn't think you were."

"You have a lot of pain medication in your system right now; you're not in a clear state of mind." She scowled.

"Mind your temper, and don't argue. It's not good for me." I sniffed lightly.

She smirked. "Yes, mam."

"Edyth?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Do you truly love me?"

"Of course," her voice was full of emotion, "more than anything."

"My mom once told me that sometimes you only share a moment with someone, but sometimes you share forever with them. I think we have a shot at forever."

"You do?" Her eyes were staring deep into mine. "Do you really think I'm worth forever?"

"I really do," I took as deep a breath as I could manage, "do you think I'm worth forever?"

"You're worth more than anything in this world."

"Then do you promise? Not to give up? Promise not to leave?"

She deliberated for a moment. "I promise, Bella." She leaned in and kissed me on my forehead.

I smiled contentedly.

"How are you feeling?" she asked, eyeing the button for the nurse.

"A little sore, to be honest."

"Do you want to go back to sleep?" she asked gently.

"No, but maybe I should."

She reached for the button.

"Yes?" the speaker on the wall squawked.

"I think we're ready for more pain medication," She said.

"I'll send in the nurse." The voice sounded very bored.

"Ugh," I sighed. "Why does it have to hurt so much."

"I'm sorry, Bella." Her face was pained.

"It's fine, I just don't want to close my eyes."

Then she smiled her crooked smile, and took my face between her hands. "I told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. I promise you, as long as it makes you happy, I'll be here."

I smiled back, ignoring the ache in my cheeks. "I'm pretty sure that'll be forever."

"Oh, you'll get over it—it's just a crush."

"Oh, shut up."

"That's the beautiful thing about being human," she told me. "Things change."

My eyes narrowed. "Don't hold your breath You're all I'll ever want."

She was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe.

"Excuse me," she said brusquely to Edyth.

She got up and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. She folded her arms and waited.

"Here you go, dear." The nurse smiled as she injected the medicine into my tube. "You'll feel better now."

"Thanks," I mumbled. It didn't take long. I could feel the drowsiness trickling through my bloodstream almost immediately.

"That ought to do it," she muttered as my eyelids drooped.

She must have left the room, because something cold and smooth touched my face.

"Stay." The word was slurred.

"I will," she promised. Her voice was soft and beautiful, like a lullaby. "Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it's what's best for you."

I tried to shake my head, but it was too heavy. "'S not the same thing," I mumbled.

She laughed. "Don't worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up."

I think I smiled. "'Kay."

I could feel her lips at my ear.

"I love you," she whispered.

"Me, too."

"I know," she laughed quietly.

I turned my head slightly… searching. She knew what I was after. Her lips touched mine gently.

"Thanks," I sighed.

"Anytime."

I was content. I had been through hell and survived. Maybe I paid the price with some broken bones, but I still had everything I wanted. I felt Edyth's hand on mine, and squeezed it as best as I could. I sighed, happily.

And then the night closed over me.


	48. promise edyth pov

The harsh white lights of the hospital room buzzed softly above us. The bustle of the hospital staff just outside the tiny white room was an unending chorus of exhaustion, despair, resignation, grief, and frustration. But here, in this little room, everything I loved most was alive and recovering. The waiting was difficult though. Like a sort of purgatory.

I sat in the dingy plastic chair pulled up close to the bed, my head resting against the flat, lumpy pillow right next to hers. Bella's chest rose and fell as steadily as beeping of the heart monitor next to the bed. It was an exquisite sound. It had been my constant companion the last few days and I was grateful for it. Every beep of the monitor meant she was alive. Every beep meant she was still human.

Suddenly, she sighed. A gentle groan escaped her lips and her hands tensed and untensed. Her eyes fluttered open, groggy and confused. Her eyes turned slightly away from me, looking at the long vertical blinds on the wall beside her, then up to the bright ceiling lights, then down to the hospital bed. The strangest look passed over her face and I reveled in the familiar confusion of wondering what she could possibly be thinking.

She suddenly looked comically annoyed and lifted her hands towards her face.

"No, you don't." I chided, gently catching her hand.

"Edyth?" She turned her head slightly, and the blue pools of her eyes widened and warmed as a smile spread across her beautiful face.

"Hi."

"Hi," I smiled back, sadly.

"What happened?"

Too much, all my worst nightmares, every single one of my greatest fears. "I was almost too late. I could have been too late," the words came out in a tormented whisper.

"I'm sorry, Edyth. I thought he had my mom."

"He tricked us all."

"I need to call Charlie and my mom," She said, that familiar crease appearing between her eyebrows.

"Alice called them." I was exceedingly grateful to Alice for making those phone calls, I didn't think I had the strength of will to not break down and beg both Charlie and Bella's mother for their forgiveness of my incredible failures. "Your mother is here—well, here in the hospital. She's getting something to eat right now."

"She's here?" She tried to sit up, but her eyes grew unfocused with the effort and I gently pushed her back down onto the pillows.

"She'll be back soon," I promised. "And you need to stay still."

"But what did you tell her?" She panicked, my soothing falling on deaf ears. "Why did you tell her I'm here?"

"You fell down two flight of stairs and through a window." I paused, measuring her expression. "You have to admit, it could happen."

She looked like she might argue with me, but she only sighed, then winced. She stared down at her body, hidden underneath the bed sheet.

"How bad am I?" She asked.

"You have a broken leg, four broken rips, some cracks in your skull, bruises covering every inch of your skin," Recounting every injury felt like a sharp stab in the deepest part of my being. "And you've lost a lot of blood. They gave you a few transfusions. I didn't like it—it made you smell all wrong for a while."

"That must have been a nice change for you."

"No, I like how you smell." And I was grateful she was back to normal now—or as close to it as she could be given the circumstances.

"How did you do it?" She asked quietly, and I knew what she meant at once.

"I'm not sure." I reluctantly pulled away from her bewildered eyes, lifting her gauze-wrapped hand from the bed and holding it gently in my own, careful not to disrupt the wire connecting her to one of the monitors.

She watched me patiently.

I sighed, unable to return her gaze. "It was impossible to stop," I whispered. "Impossible. But I did." I finally looked up, managing half a smile. "I must love you."

"Don't I taste as good as I smell?" She smiled in response, though it was marred by the slightest of winces.

"Even better—better than I'd imagined."

"Damn right, I do."

I laughed, loudly, fully unable to hold back my joy at seeing Bella—my Bella—feeling like her usual self.

"Even then," I said after a moment, "I thought I had still lost you. Despite everything."

"Can't get rid of me that easy," She moved her shoulders in a halting way that perhaps was meant to be a shrug.

"Alice couldn't see you." My voice had fallen once again to a whisper, "I thought you were gone forever."

"I hadn't made the decision yet." She said simply. I looked up at her, confused. "Giving up is easy, trying is harder. I had too much to try for." Sh,e said softly.

"I'm glad." Nothing could ease the guilt and sadness I felt over her pain, but this did make me happy.

She was silent for a moment, her face contemplative. Then her eyes widened minutely. She shuddered, and then winced.

"Bella, what's wrong?" I asked, anxiously.

"What happened to James?"

"After I pulled him off you, Emmett and Jasper took care of him." I still regretted that I could not have the satisfaction of finishing him off myself, but I was grateful to my brothers for their thorough job.

The crease reappeared. "I didn't see Emmett and Jasper there."

"They had to leave the room… there was a lot of blood. Emmett was devastated. He wanted to stay and help. I thought he might cry." I remembered the look on Emmett's face as Carlisle and I had rushed out of the studio to get to the hospital with some amusement.

"But you stayed."

"Yes, I stayed."

"And Alice, and Carlisle..," she said in wonder.

"They love you, too, you know."

Her eyes drifted away for a moment, then suddenly her eyes widened and her voice became anxious. "James, he knew Alice! Did she see the tape?"

Ah. The tape. Alice and Carlisle had cautioned me I should not watch the tracker's disgusting little video. James had to exercise the most calming of influences to keep me steady, but I had watched it. "Yes." My voice was dark with my hatred. Despite the atrocities the tracker had committed against Bella in the tape, it had helped Alice by shedding some light on her mysterious origins. She had been a patient in an asylum, cared for by an old vampire who changed her when she, like Bella, had become the target of James's obsessive tracking. It has given Alice some clues as to where she might find some information about her human life.

"She was always in the dark, that's why she didn't remember." Bella said, full of concern.

"I know. She understands now." My voice was more even, but I could tell my face was still twisted with fury.

She moved her hand towards me, but the IV kept it from reaching. She glanced down at it disdainfully.

"Ugh." She winced.

"What is it?" I asked anxiously, worried that she had somehow hurt herself.

"Needles," she explained, looking away from the one in her hand and focusing her eyes on the ceiling while taking deep breaths.

"Afraid of a needle," I muttered to myself under my breath, shaking my head in disbelief. "Oh, a sadistic vampire, intent on torturing her to death, sure, no problem, she runs off to meet him. An IV, on the other hand…"

She rolled her eyes.

"Why are you here?" She asked suddenly.

I stared at her, confused for a moment. Then the pain hit me. Of course. Why would she want me here after I put her through this? "Do you want me to leave?"

"No!" She protested, "No, of course not, you beautiful idiot. No, I meant, why does my mother think you're here? I need to have my story straight before she gets back."

"Oh," I said, relief washing over me. "I came to Phoenix to talk to you, to convince you to come back to Forks." I recited the story in my most sincere voice. "You agreed to see me, and you drove out to the hotel where I was staying with Carlisle and Alice—of course I was there with parental supervision," I added, "but you tripped on the stairs on the way to my room and… well, you know the rest. You don't need to remember any details, though; you have a good excuse to be a little muddled about the finer points." I sighed, then realized something and raised my eyebrow at her. "Did you just call me an idiot?"

"Give me a break; I'm broken in like a hundred places and on pain medication." She snickered, "Besides, I called you a beautiful idiot."

I smirked in response to her playfulness.

"There are a few flaws with your story, though." She continued, "Like no broken windows."

"Not really," I replied. "Alice had a little bit too much fun fabricating evidence. It's all been taken care of very convincingly," In fact Alice had gone so overboard I added, "you could probably sue the hotel if you wanted to." I watched her face relax. "You have nothing to worry about," I promised her, stroking her cheek as lightly as I could. "You're only job now is to heal."

"I think I can manage that," she sighed.

I leaned in slowly and pressed my lips as gently as I could to hers, she sighed happily, then winced suddenly. I pulled back quickly, anxious at what new damage I might have caused.

"It seems I'm going to have to be more careful with you than usual." I frowned at that daunting prospect.

"I was not finished kissing you," She narrowed her eyes. "Don't make me come over there. Get back here."

"Yes, mam." I grinned and happily pressed my lips once again to hers.

"Do you think she'll wake up anytime soon?" The voice of Bella's mother came from the hallway.

I pulled away from Bella. "I think I hear your mother," I said, grinning again.

"Oh god, don't leave me now." Her eyes were wide, full of terror.

"I won't," I promised, then smiled with an amusing idea. "I'll take a nap."

She watched me with a bewildered, slightly panicked expression as I moved from the plastic chair by her side to the garish faux-leather recliner at the foot of her bed, leaning it all the way back, and closing my eyes in a show of sleep.

"Don't forget to breathe," she whispered sarcastically. I obliged with a deep, showy breath, keeping my eyes closed.

Bella's mother was just outside the door, speaking to a nurse about her progress. Her voice held all the exhaustion and worry of the long days she had spent in the hospital.

I heard the door open a crack.

"Mom!" Bella's whispered voice was full of affection and relief.

"Oh, Bella," her mother's voice flew across the room to her side, "I'm so happy you're awake, hon."She's still here? My goodness."She never leaves, does she?" She whispered.

"Mom, I'm so glad to see you!"

There was a brief moment of silence. I could hear her mother sniffle.

"Bella, I was so upset."

"I'm sorry, Mom. But everything's fine now, it's okay," She comforted her. I already was beginning to understand their dynamic a little better. Until now, I had only known what Bella had told me of her mother.

"I'm just glad to finally see your eyes open." I could hear the bed creak slightly, I guessed she was sitting next to her now.

"How long have I been out?"

"It's Friday, hon, you've been out for a while."

"Friday?" She sounded shocked, but uncertain at the same time.

"They had to keep you sedated for a while, honey—you've got a lot of injuries."

"I know. I feel them." She said, bleakly, and I felt a fresh stab of guilt.

"You're lucky Dr. Cullen was there. He's such a nice man… very young, though. And he looks more like a model than a doctor…"Reminds me of someone in the movies a little… Gosh, who am I thinking of?

"You met Carlisle?"

"And Edyth's sister, Alice. She's a lovely girl."So pretty, too. Just darling!

"She is," Bella agreed.

In her mind, I could see her eyes move from Bella to over her shoulder towards me in the chair. "You didn't tell me you had such good friends in Forks." She such polite, beautiful ones!

The bed creaked and Bella moaned in pain.

"What hurts?" her mother demanded, turning back to her just as I opened my eyes to see for myself.

"It's fine," She assured us both. "I just have to remember not to move." I fell back into my false slumber.

"Where's Phil?" Bella asked suddenly.

"Florida—Oh, Bella! You'll never guess! Just when we were about to leave, the best news!"

"Phil got signed?" She guessed.

"Yes! How did you guess! The Suns, can you believe it?"

"That's great, Mom," I could hear the smile in Bella's voice.

"And you'll like Jacksonville so much," She began to gush. "I was a little bit worried when Phil started talking about Akron, what with the snow and everything, because you know how I hate the cold, but now Jacksonville! It's always sunny, and the humidity really isn'tthatbad. We found the cutest house, yellow, with white trim, and a porch just like in an old movie, and this huge oak tree, it's just a few minutes from the ocean, and you'll have your own bathroom—"

"Wait, Mom!" Bella interrupted. I still had my eyes closed, but I could feel the tension in my body. This was the last thing I wanted, but of course, it was the best thing for her. How could I fight it?

Bella continued, "What are you talking about? I'm not going to Florida. I live in Forks."

The smallest spark of hope ignited deep within me.

"But you don't have to anymore, silly," her mother laughed. "Phil will be able to be around so much more now… we've talked about it a lot, and what I'm going to do is trade off on the away games, half the time with you, half the time with him."

I felt a wrenching feeling of despair fill me.

"Mom." Bella began, hesitantly. "Iwantto live in Forks. I realized it when I was back here in Phoenix. I missed it. I'm already settled in at school, and I have a couple of friends—"

Ohh, I see…Her mother's eyes had gone back to me in the chair.

Bella continued, "And Charlie needs me. He's just all alone up there, and he can't cook at all."

"You want to stay in Forks?" From her tone, it was clear the idea was completely inconceivable to , I bet that beautiful girl has something to do with it. "Why?" Her tone was vaguely suspicious.

"I told you—school, Charlie—ouch!"

My eyes snapped open, she was wincing and her mother was placing a gentle hand on her forehead.

"Bella, honey, you hate Forks," she said gently.

"It's not so bad."

"You don't have to keep trying to like it." She offered.

"Giving up is easy, trying is harder." She repeated her earlier words to her.

"But trying makes all the difference." She finished the little mantra, a smile in her voice.

Her head tilted to the side, I closed my eyes again just as she slowly turned to glance back at me. "Is it this girl?" She whispered.

Bella didn't answer right away, then she dropped her voice to a whisper. "She's part of it," she admitted. "So, have you had a chance to talk to Edyth?"

"Yes." She hesitated. I quickly ran through the conversations in my mind, assuring myself I had been a perfect swwetheart. "And I want to talk to you about that." She continued.

"What about?"

"I think that girl is in love with you," she accused in a low voice.

Well, perhaps I'm not as subtle or secretive as I'd like to believe I am.

"I think so, too," Bella confided to her, matching her whispered tones.

Ah-ha! I knew it!"And how do you feel about her?" She asked, trying with little success to conceal the brimming curiosity in her voice.

She sighed, "I'm pretty crazy about her, I guess."

"Well, sheseems very nice, and, my goodness, she's incredibly good-looking, but you're so young Bella…" Her voice was unsure, and her mind was instantly thinking of her own past experiences with Charlie…

"Don't worry, Mom." Bella soothed, "It's just a crush."

"Oh, I'm sure," Her playful tone said she knew , Phil should be calling soon…

"Do you need to go?"

"Phil's supposed to call in a little while… he's been so worried about you…"

"No problem, Mom. I won't be alone."

"I'll be back soon. I've been sleeping here." She said.

"Oh, Mom, you don't have to do that! You can sleep at home—I'll never notice." That was true. She'd been lost to the world the last few days.

"I was too nervous," she admitted sheepishly. "There's been some crime in the neighborhood, and I don't like being there alone."

"Crime?" Bella's voice was alarmed.

"Someone broke into that dance studio around the corner from the house and burned it to the ground—there's nothing left at all! And they left a stolen car right out front. Do you remember when I used to teach dance there, honey?"

"I remember." She made a small noise of pain again.

She can't do anything without hurting…"I can stay, baby, if you need me."

"No, Mom, I'll be fine. Edyth will be with me."

That's what I'm afraid of…"I'll be back tonight." She said, and I could tell from the direction of her voice she said it looking at me.

"I love you, Mom."

"I love you, too, Bella. Please be careful when you walk, honey, I don't want to lose you."

I couldn't keep a grin from spreading across my face.

The door opened then as a very tired nurse ambled into the room, I opened my eyes only slightly to see the nurse check the various tubes and wires Bella was connected to. Her mother leaned forward and kissed her forehead, patted her gauze-wrapped hand, and left.

The nurse continued with her business. "How are you feeling, dear?"

"I'm fine," Bella assured her.

"I'll tell your RN that you're awake. She'll be in to see you in a minute."

As soon as she closed the door, I was by Bella's side.

"You stole a car?" She raised her eyebrows.

I smiled without shame. "It was a good car, very fast."

"Edyth!" She scolded. I only smiled. She sighed, "how was your nap?"

"Interesting." I narrowed my eyes at her.

"What?"

I couldn't meet her eyes as I spoke. "I'm surprised. I thought Florida… and your mother… well, I thought that's what you would want. To go someplace where I can't hurt you anymore."

"Are you tired of having to save me all the time?" She asked.

Her question surprised me. How could she think that? I supposed I should be pleased that there was no brain damage and she still thought the same way as before, even if it was completely backwards.

"No, Bella, of course not." I assured her. "I would do anything to keep you safe. I would save you a hundred times over."

"Then why would I go to Florida?"

"Because then…" I could barely force the words from me, they pained me so much, "then I couldn't hurt you anymore. My very presence is a danger to you, Bella, every second I'm around you. I'm not worthy of your love, I'll get you killed and—"

"Shhh," she cut me off, her voice soft and comforting. "There's a difference between the danger you put me in and the danger around me. Don't you see that?"

"No. It's all my fault."

"You really are a beautiful idiot." She sighed, "Do you want me to go away?"

"No!" It was the last thing I wanted. I could hardly bear the thought. "No, I don't want to be without you Bella, of course not. But," My eyes dropped again, "I'm the one putting you in danger… I'm the reason you're here."

"Yes, you are the reason. The reason I'm here—alive."

"Barely. Covered in gauze and plaster and hardly able to move."

"But I'm still here." She insisted.

"I thought I lost you, Bella." I could barely speak above a whisper as I recalled the horrible memories. "Seeing you there on the floor… crumpled and broken. Thinking I was too late, hearing you scream in pain—all those unbearable memories that I'll carry with me for the rest of eternity. And the worst feeling… fearing that I couldn't stop. I thought after all that, I would be the one to kill you myself."

"But you didn't"

"I could have. So easily."

"But, again, you didn't." She sighed. "I'm here, Edyth. I chose you. Maybe that makes me an idiot, but that's what I what I want."

"Even if I'm so terrible for you? Even if I put you in—"

"If you say you put me in danger one more time I'm going to hit you in the head with my plaster cast."

I smiled a little, fully believing that she would somehow manage to do just that and she smiled back at me.

"I don't seem to be strong enough to stay away from you." I told her honestly.

"For once, I'm glad you're not strong enough for something." She teased gently.

My phone began to buzz in my pocket, I quickly glanced at the caller ID and put the phone to my ear in an instant.

"Hello?" I answered, confused as to why Emmett was calling me.

"Hey, sis, is Bella doing okay?" Emmett's voice was serious—as much as it could be for him, at least.

I sighed. "Yes, she's fine—"

"Alice said she woke up?"

"Yes…"

"Let me talk to her," He demanded.

"Oh fine, here." I moved the phone to Bella's ear. "For you," I sighed again.

"Hello?" Bella asked in an adorably cautious way.

"Hey, lil sis!" Emmett's voice boomed from the phone.

"Emmett! Hi!" Bella chuckled, "How are you?"

"How am I? How are you?" Emmett erupted in earsplitting laughter. I made a note that I would have to teach him how to talk to Bella without damaging her hearing. "You're the one that fell through a window." Emmett finished, teasing.

"Well, I've had better days." Bella sighed.

That was quite the understatement.

"Bella," Emmett's voice was mildly gentler now, "I'm sorry I couldn't stay. It was just…"

"I know, Emmett, thank you for trying." Bella's unfailing kindness never ceased to both impress and amaze me.

"Jasper says hey, too! He's glad you're awake!"

"Tell him I'm sorry for ditching him at the airport." Bella said sincerely.

"He forgives you," Emmett's wide grin was evident in his voice. "Hey, wait, here's someone else who wants to talk to you."

There a faint sound of movement, and Emmett's voice grew quiet as though he had pulled the phone away from his face. "Roy! Come on, babe!" he said. I raised an eyebrow, unsure if I wanted Royal to say anything to Bella. But before I had a chance to decide, it sounded as if someone grabbed the phone and huffed loudly.

"Hello, Bella." Royal's obnoxiously annoyed voice came over the phone. I gritted my teeth. "I'm glad you're not dead." Royal continued in a tone that said the exact reverse.

"Thanks…" Bella replied tentatively, "Hey, Royal?"

Silence.

"Thank you for watching over Charlie. I really appreciate it."

There was another moment of silence, and just before I was about to take the phone back and start yelling, Royal answered, "You're welcome, Bella."

Another sound of shuffling and Emmett's voice began booming from the phone again. "See? Everyone's happy now!"

"Thanks, Emmett." Bella chuckled.

"Hey, I'll let you get back to Edyth. Get better, lil sis!"

"Bye, Emmett."

I took the phone back and slid it into my pocket.

"See? They all love you." I said. And it was true, and it was a comfort to me that my family cared about Bella so much. Though it didn't compare to my feelings towards her, they were still strong.

"I'm glad," she smiled.

I was so enraptured by the sweet smile that I barely noticed the nurse bustle into the room.

The poor thing is broken every which way, I do hope this young woman isn't wearing her out too much.

I sat perfectly still as she looked Bella over.

"Time for more pain meds, sweetheart?" she asked kindly, tapping the IV feed.

"No, no," she mumbled. "I'm fine for now."

It won't do to put it off…No need to be brave, dear. It's better if you rest."

"Maybe in a bit?" Bella offered.

"Okay," she sighed. "Hit the call button when you're ready." She turned and left the room without another word.

Bella was silent for a moment, her eyebrows pulled together, and then she looked up at me with a contemplative look in her eyes.

"Edyth, why did you stop me from changing?"

"What?" The question threw me completely. I was completely confused on its meaning.

"Why didn't you let the venom spread? By now I would be just like you."

My body went completely stone and my jaw locked. How could she possibly know about that? I was careful not to tell her. She was incredibly intuitive, so perhaps she had deduced it for herself? No, I knew. Alice must have told her—and against my explicit instructions!

She watched my reaction for a moment and her brows furrowed further.

"Mind your temper." She warned me.

I took a deep breath for show and she sighed.

"I'm just asking, because since you seem so afraid of hurting me or getting me killed, wouldn't it have been easier to let me change? Let me become like you? Able to defend myself. Maybe even I would have the chance to save you for a change."

It was sound logic. I couldn't argue against that. I folded my arms along the side of her bed and rested my chin upon them. I worked to control my temper, though I would still be having a serious conversation with Alice when I next saw her.

"You have saved me," was all I could manage to say and it was, after all, incredibly true. Had she not saved me from my monotonous existence? Had she not saved me from being a complete monster? Hadn't her love and kindness taught me to be better?

Her hand found my arm and squeezed it gently, "Edyth…"

"You don't know what you're asking." I said softly, staring intently at the woven thread on the edge of her pillowcase. "I've had nearly a century to think about this, and I'm still not sure."

"Do you wish that Carlisle hadn't saved you?"

"No, I don't wish that." I felt that was largely true. I tried to think of a way to explain it better to her. "But my life was over. I wasn't giving anything up."

"I see," her voice was thoughtful.

"I can't do it, Bella. I won't do that to you."

"I'm not asking you to."

My eyes flashed to hers. I hadn't expected that. "What?"

"I'm not asking you to change me, I'm just asking why you didn't let me change?"

It was a strange feeling; relief mingled with sadness. Relief that she wasn't asking for this curse, but sadness because I knew that somewhere, sometime, it was a possibility for her. A course she could follow.

"Alice already saw it, didn't she?" She guessed, as intuitive as ever. "That's why the things she says upset you. She knows I'm going to be like you… someday."

"She's wrong." I argued. "She also saw you dead, but that didn't happen, either."

"But this is the course I'm on, isn't it?" She pushed, "The decision has been made. It's just a matter of following that course."

I couldn't argue with the truth, I could only gaze into her deep blue eyes. Alice's visions seemed fairly certain now. The timing was unclear, but the end result was always the same.

"I'm not asking you to change me tomorrow, or even in three days." She soothed, "I just need to know where everything stands. I made this decision, and if my vampire girlfriend's vampire sister can see where that decision leads me then I'd just like to be prepared."

"Am I worth it?" I didn't need her to answer, I already knew I wasn't.

"I don't think I would have put myself through all this if I didn't think you were."

Her unfailing kindness again. "You have a lot of pain medication in your system right now; you're not in a clear state of mind." I scowled.

"Mind your temper, and don't argue. It's not good for me." She sniffed lightly.

I smirked. "Yes, mam."

"Edyth?"

"Yes, Bella?"

"Do you truly love me?"

What a question! How could I not love her for how wonderful and perfect she was? "Of course, more than anything."

"My mom once told me that sometimes you only share a moment with someone, but sometimes you share forever with them. I think we have a shot at forever."

"You do?" I continued to stare deeply into the depths of her eyes, wishing once again I could hear the thoughts behind them and understand what she saw in a monster like myself that would make her so sure. "Do you really think I'm worth forever?"

"I really do," she took a deep breath, wincing slightly, "do you think I'm worth forever?"

That was easy. "You're worth more than anything in this world."

"Then do you promise? Not to give up? Promise not to leave?"

I wanted to answer immediately, but how could I be that selfish? How could I rob her of a normal human life? The truth was I was too weak to refuse her this, and I was too selfish to not want it desperately. "I promise, Bella." I leaned in and kissed her on her forehead.

She smiled contentedly.

"How are you feeling?" I asked, eyeing the button to call the nurse. By my calculations, the pain medication they'd previously administered would be wearing off by now.

"A little sore, to be honest."

"Do you want to go back to sleep?"

"No, but maybe I should."

I reached for the button.

"Yes?" A bored voice squawked through the speaker on the wall.

"I think we're ready for more pain medication," I said.

"I'll send in the nurse." The voice replied.

"Ugh," Bella sighed. "Why does it have to hurt so much."

"I'm sorry, Bella." I wished I could fix everything, I never wanted her to feel pain again.

"It's fine, I just don't want to close my eyes."

I smiled and took her warm face between my hands. "I told you I'm not going anywhere. Don't be afraid. I promise you, as long as it makes you happy, I'll be here."

She smiled back. "I'm pretty sure that'll be forever."

"Oh, you'll get over it—" I teased, "it's just a crush."

"Oh, shut up."

"That's the beautiful thing about being human," I said softly. "Things change."

Her eyes narrowed. "Don't hold your breath I'll always want you."

I was laughing when the nurse came in, brandishing a syringe.

I knew she was riling her up!"Excuse me," She said to me brusquely.

I moved out of her way and crossed to the end of the small room, leaning against the wall. I folded my arms and waited for her to finish.

"Here you go, dear." The nurse smiled at Bella as she injected the medication into her IV line. "You'll feel better now."

"Thanks," she mumbled. Almost immediately her eyes began to flutter and drop.

"That ought to do it," The nurse muttered.

She glanced back at me one more time—a scolding expression on her face—then she left. By the time the door closed I was back by Bella's side, my finger brushing along her cheek.

"Stay." She mumbled, slurring the word.

"I will," I promised. "Like I said, as long as it makes you happy… as long as it's what's best for you."

Her head wobbled slightly. "'S not the same thing," she mumbled.

I laughed at her adorable sleepy state. "Don't worry about that now, Bella. You can argue with me when you wake up."

Half her mouth turned up in a smile. "'Kay."

I leaned in, my lips at her ear.

"I love you," I whispered.

"Me, too."

"I know," I laughed quietly.

Her head turned slightly, her lips turning into an attractive, soft pout. I gently touched my lips to hers.

"Thanks," she sighed.

"Anytime."

I placed my hand on hers, and she squeezed it gently and sighed, happily.

She gently slid into a deep slumber and I would stay right there by her side. For as long as she loved me, as long as she wanted me, and for as long as it was what was best for her. I would stay, and I would be eternally content.


	49. epilogue an occasion Bella pov

Edyth helped me into her car, being very careful of my bulky walking cast. She ignored the put out expression on my face.

When she had me settled, she got in the driver's seat and headed back out the long, narrow drive.

"So are you ever going to tell me what's going on?" I asked. I wasn't overly fond of surprises and, as much as I enjoyed being with Edyth, I would rather be in my bed right now.

"I'm shocked that you haven't figured it out yet." She threw a mischievous smile in my direction, and my breath caught in my throat.

"I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" I verified.

"Yes." She grinned again. I'd never seen her dress in blue before, and, with the contrast against her pale skin, her beauty was absolutely surreal. That much I couldn't deny, even if the fact that she was wearing a blue dress made me very nervous. Even if the slim cut of it did make her look absolutely amazing.

Not quite as nervous as the deep blue dress I was in. Or the exceedingly expensive shoe. Only one shoe, as my other foot was still securely incased in plaster. But this beautiful, leather shoe wasn't going to help me as I tried to hobble around. I could barely walk in sneakers.

"I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like her own personal Barbie doll when I do," I griped. I'd spent the better part of the day in Alice's staggeringly vast bathroom, a helpless victim as she played hairdresser and stylist. Whenever I fidgeted or complained, she reminded me that she didn't have any memories of being human, and asked me not to ruin her vicarious fun. She had put some loose setting product in my hair and gently styled it back, my hair was getting rather long for me and she considered cutting it for a moment before decided that the medium length curls looked 'rather adorable,' in her words. Then she had me put on the most expensive looking dress I had ever seen in my life. It was perfectly tailored to my body and extremely comfortable. I couldn't help but think I looked good—maybe more appropriate for a fashion magazine than Forks—but still damn good.

I was distracted then by the sound of a phone ringing. Edyth pulled her cell phone from a pocket inside her jacket, looking briefly at the caller ID before answering.

"Hello, Charlie," she said warily.

"Charlie?" I frowned.

Charlie had been… difficult since my return to Forks, and justifiably so. He had compartmentalized my bad experience into two defined reactions. Toward Carlisle he was almost worshipfully grateful. On the other hand, he was stubbornly convinced that Edyth was at fault—because, if not for her, I wouldn't have left home in the first place. And Edyth was far from disagreeing with him. These days I had rules that hadn't existed before: curfews… visiting hours.

Something Charlie was saying made Edyth's eyes widen in disbelief, and then a grin spread across her face.

"You're kidding!" She laughed.

"What is it?" I asked.

She didn't answer. "Why don't you let me talk to her?" Edyth suggested with evident pleasure. She waited for a few seconds.

"Hello, Taylor, this is Edyth Cullen." Her voice was very friendly, on the surface. I knew it well enough to catch the soft edge of menace. What was Taylor doing at my house? The awful truth began to dawn on me. I looked again at the fancy dress Alice had forced me into.

"I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight." Edyth's tone changed, and the threat in her voice was suddenly much more evident as she continued. "To be perfectly honest, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone besides myself is concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." She didn't sound sorry at all. And she hung up the phone, a huge smirk on her face.

My face and neck flushed crimson with embarrassment.

She looked at me in surprise. "Was that last part a bit too much? I didn't mean to offend you."

I ignored that.

"You're taking me to the prom!" My voice sounded panicky.

It was completely obvious now. If I'd been paying any attention at all, I'm sure I would have noticed the date on the posters that decorated the school buildings. But I'd never dreamed she was thinking of subjecting me to this. Didn't she know me at all?

She wasn't expecting my reaction, that was clear. She pressed her lips together. "I'm sorry, Bella, please don't be angry."

My eyes flashed to the window; we were halfway to the school already.

"Why are you doing this to me?" I demanded.

She gestured to our dresses. "Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?"

"You never tend to do things casually, for all I knew we were getting milkshakes and you thought we should dress up." I glared.

"Touché."She smirked.

"Oh god, this is awful." I sighed.

"Why are you so upset?" She demanded in frustration.

"Because I didn't want to go to prom!"

"Bella." She turned the full force of her scorching golden eyes on me.

"What?" I muttered.

"Humor me," she insisted.

Her eyes were melting away my fury. It was hard to argue with her when she cheated like that.

"Fine," I glared. "I'll go. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for some bad luck. I'll probably break my other leg! This fancy shoe doesn't have any traction! Look at it!" I held out my good leg as evidence.

"Hmmm." She looked me up and down, approvingly. "Remind me to thank Alice for dressing you up so nicely tonight. I am quite fond of that color on you."

"Alice is going to be there?" That comforted me slightly.

"With Jasper, and Emmett… and Royal," she admitted.

The feeling of comfort disappeared. There had been little to no progress with Royal, despite our phone conversation in the hospital. However, I was on excellent terms with Emmett. He enjoyed having me around—he thought my bizarre human reactions were hilarious, and he loved when I told Edyth off for her temper. Emmett had even bought me a set of weights as a 'Get Well' present and was carefully showing me how to use them without hurting myself. His hope being that the next time I was in danger I could put up a better fight.

Royal, on the other hand, acted as if I didn't exist. While I shook my head to dispel the direction my thoughts had taken, I thought of something else.

"Is Charlie in on this?" I asked, suddenly suspicious.

"Of course." She grinned, and then chuckled. "Apparently Taylor wasn't, though."

I rolled my eyes. How Taylor could be so delusional, I couldn't imagine. At school, Edyth and I were inseparable—except for those days rare sunny days.

We were at the school now; Royal's red convertible was conspicuous in the parking lot. The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west.

She got out and walked around the car to open my door. She held out her hand.

I sat stubbornly in my seat, arms folded, my face resolute.

She sighed. "When someone wants to kill you, you're brave as a lion—and then when someone mentions dancing…" she shook her head.

I gulped. Dancing.

"Bella, I won't let anything hurt you—not even yourself. I won't let go of you once, I promise."

I thought about that and suddenly felt much better. She could see that in my face.

"There, now," she said gently, "it won't be so bad." She leaned down and wrapped one arm around my waist. I took her other hand and let her lift me from the car.

She kept her arm tightly around me, supporting me as I limped toward the school.

In Phoenix, they held proms in hotel ballrooms. This dance was in the gym. When we got inside, I couldn't help but giggle. There were actual balloon arches and twisted garlands of pastel crepe paper festooning the walls.

"This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen," I snickered.

"Well," she muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table—she was carrying most of my weight, but I still had to shuffle and wobble my feet forward—"There are more than enough vampires present."

I looked at the dance floor; a wide gap had formed in the center of the floor, where a beautiful couple whirled gracefully. The other dancers pressed to the sides of the room to give them space—no one wanted to stand in contrast with such radiance. Jasper was intimidating and flawless in a classic tuxedo as he spun Alice around the floor in her striking black satin dress with geometric cutouts that bared large triangles of her snowy white skin.

Emmett stood near the dance floor grinning widely, looking very handsome in his own classic tuxedo. He waved at us when he saw us. Royal stood near him looking… well, like Royal. If I thought I looked like I belonged in a fashion magazine, Royal looked like he belonged on the cover. His deep burgundy tuxedo was perfectly tailored—accentuating his small waist against his broad shoulders. His long blond hair was loose and fell to his shoulders. I pitied every guy in the room who might compare themselves to him, and felt just as bad for every girl in the room who was gazing at him longingly.

"Do you think if I threw myself into the sound system it would end the prom?" I whispered.

She laughed, "Anything to get out of dancing."

"Anything."

She bought our tickets, then turned me toward the dance floor. I cringed against her arm and dragged my feet.

"I've got all night," she smiled.

"Okay, can I be honest a second?" I finally sighed, "I'm a terrible dancer, sure—I'm clumsy as hell—but… I've never danced with a girl." I could feel the panic rising. "And this is Forks, after all. Maybe I can be affectionate with you at school when no one is looking… but dancing at prom? In front of everyone?"

Edyth looked at me confused, "Is that what you've been worried about?"

"A bit, yes." I admitted.

She considered this for a moment, "We don't have to dance if you don't want to."

I sighed and looked over her shoulder. I immediately locked eyes with Royal who was standing there watching us with an unreadable expression. He sighed, then reached out and took Emmett's hand and led him to the dance floor.

Edyth spun around, no doubt hearing all the thoughts in everyone's minds. I could even hear a few hushed whispers as Royal and Emmett reached the center of the dance floor where Jasper and Alice were. Royal put his arms around Emmet's neck, and Emmett happily put his hands on Royal's waist. They effortlessly melted into the dance with Jasper and Alice.

Royal caught my eye one more time, his expression clearly sayingWell? You've got no excuse now.

Edyth was smirking as she looked back to me, "That's Royal's way of saying he's glad you're here."

"Oh, fine." I huffed. I let Edyth lead me out to where her family was twirling elegantly—if in a style totally unsuitable to the present time and music. I watched in terror.

"Edyth." My throat was so dry I could barely manage a whisper. "I honestly can't dance." I could still feel the panic bubbling up inside my chest. Even if most of the school was watching Royal and Emmet, they were still watching us.

"Don't worry, love," she whispered back. "I can." She put my arms around her neck and lifted me to slide her feet under mine.

And then we were whirling, too.

"I bet I look like a fool," I laughed after a few minutes of effortless waltzing.

"Quite the opposite," she murmured, pulling me closer for a second, so that my feet were briefly a foot from the ground.

Alice caught my eye on a turn and smiled in encouragement—I smiled back. I was surprised to realize that I was actually enjoying myself.

"Okay, this isn't half bad," I admitted.

But Edyth was staring toward the doors, and her face was angry.

"What is it?" I wondered aloud. I followed her gaze, disoriented by the spinning, but finally I could see what was bothering her. Julie Black, not in a Dress, but in a long-sleeved white shirt, her hair smoothed back into her usual ponytail, was crossing the floor toward us.

After the first shock of recognition, I couldn't help but feel bad for Julie. She was clearly uncomfortable—excruciatingly so. Her face was apologetic as her eyes met mine.

Edyth snarled very quietly.

"Behave!" I hissed.

Edyth's voice was scathing. "She wants to chat with you."

Julie reached us then, the embarrassment and apology even more evident on her face.

"Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here." Julie sounded like she'd been hoping for the exact opposite. But her smile was just as warm as ever.

"Hi, Jules." I smiled back. "What's up?"

"Can I cut in?" she asked tentatively, glancing at Edyth for the first time. I was surprised to notice that Julie didn't have to look up. She must have grown half a foot since the last time I'd seen her.

Edyth's face was composed, her expression blank. Her only answer was to set me carefully on my feet, and take a step back.

"Thanks," Julie said amiably.

Edyth just nodded, looking at me intently before she turned to walk away.

Julie put her hands on my waist, and I reached up to put my hands on her shoulders.

"Wow, Jules, how tall are you now?"

She was smug. "Six-two."

We weren't really dancing—my leg made that impossible. Instead we swayed awkwardly from side to side without moving out feet. It was just as well; the recent growth spurt had left her looking gangly and uncoordinated, she was probably no better a dancer than I was.

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" I asked without true curiosity. Considering Edyth's reaction, I could guess.

"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to crash your prom?" she admitted, slightly ashamed.

"Yes, I can," I muttered. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?" I teased, nodding toward a group of girls and boys lined up against the wall.

"Yeah," she sighed. "But she's taken."

She glanced down to meet my curious gaze for just a second—then we both looked away, embarrassed.

"You look really beautiful, by the way," she added shyly. "Your eyes are really beautiful."

"Um, thanks." I blushed. "You're not looking too bad yourself. You've got that rock-star, don't-give-a-lick vibe going for you."

We both laughed as we swayed.

"So, why did Billy pay you to come here?" I asked softly, though I knew the answer.

Julie didn't seem grateful for the subject change; she looked away, uncomfortable again. "He said it was a 'safe' place to talk to you. I swear the old man is losing his mind."

I joined in her laughter weakly.

"Anyway, he said that if I told you something he would get me that master cylinder I need," she confessed with a sheepish grin.

"Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished so maybe you can come visit me once in a while." I grinned back. At least Julie didn't believe any of this. It made the situation a bit easier. Against the wall, Edyth was watching my face, her own face unreadable—to anyone but me; I could see a twinge of frustration in her marble expression.

Julie looked away again, ashamed. "Don't get mad, okay?"

"I could never be mad at you, Julie," I assured her. "I won't even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to."

"Well—this is so stupid, I'm sorry, Bella—he wants you to break up with your girlfriend. He asked me to tell you 'please.'" She shook her head in disgust.

"He's still superstitious, eh?"

"Yeah. He was… kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He didn't believe…" Julie trailed off self-consciously.

"I fell."

"I know that," Julie said quickly.

"He thinks Edyth had something to do with me getting hurt." It wasn't a question and I could hear the frustration in my tone.

Julie wouldn't meet my eyes. We weren't even bothering to sway to the music, though her hands were still on my waist, and mine around her neck.

"Look, Julie, I know Billy won't believe this, but just so you know"—she looked at me now, responding to the new earnestness in my voice—"Edyth really did save my life. If it weren't for Edyth and her father, I'd be dead."

"I know," she claimed, but she sounded like my sincere words had affected her some. Maybe she'd be able to convince Billy of this much, at least.

"Hey, I'm sorry you had to come do this, Julie," I apologized. "At any rate, you get your parts, right?"

"Yeah," she muttered. She was still looking awkward… upset.

"There's more?"

"Forget it," she mumbled, "I'll get a job and save the money myself."

"Nope! Just spit it out! You're getting that damn cylinder thing."

"It's so bad."

"I don't care. Tell me," I insisted.

"Okay… but, geez, this sounds bad.she shook her head. "He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that—and this is his plural, not mine"—she lifted one hand from my waist and made little quotation marks in the air—"'We'll be watching.'" She watched warily for my reaction.

It sounded like something from a mafia movie. I laughed out loud.

"Okay, duly noted," I snickered, "now tell Billy to pay up."

"I will," she managed a half smile.

"Sorry you had to do this, Julie," I smiled.

"I don't mind that much." She grinned, "I got to see you." Her eyes were appraising as the raked quickly over my Dress and face. "So, should I tell Billy you said to butt the hell out?" she asked hopefully.

"No," I sighed. "Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well."

The song ended, but we remained standing the way we were.

"And thank you, Julie," I said, "I know you wouldn't have agreed to come down unless you cared about me."

Her hands felt hesitant at my waist, and she glanced at my bum leg. "Do you want to dance again? Or can I help you get somewhere?"

Edyth answered before I could. "That's all right, Julie. I'll take it from here."

Julie flinched, and stared wide-eyed at Edyth, who stood just beside us.

"Hey, I didn't see you there," she mumbled. "I guess I'll see you around Bella." She stepped back, waving halfheartedly.

I smiled and pulled her back into a quick hug, "I'll see you later, Julie"

She stepped back and glanced between my face and Edyth's. "Sorry," she said again before she turned for the door.

Edyth's arms wound around me as the next song started. It was a little up-tempo for slow dancing, but that didn't seem to concern her. I leaned my head against her chest, content.

"Feeling better?" I teased.

"Not really," she said tersely.

"Temper," I warned, "Don't be mad at Billy," I sighed. "He just worries about me for Charlie's sake. It's nothing personal."

"I'm not mad at Billy," She corrected in a clipped voice. "But his daughter is irritating me."

I pulled back to look at her. Her face was very serious.

"Julie? Why?"

"First of all, she made me break my promise."

I stared at her confused.

She half-smiled. "I promised I wouldn't let go of you tonight," she explained.

"Oh. Well, I forgive you."

"Thanks. But there's something else." Edyth frowned.

I waited patiently.

"She called you beautiful," she finally continued, her frown deepening. I stared at her again and she quickly added, "That's practically an insult, the way you look right now, you're much more than stunning."

I laughed. "You might be a little biased."

"I don't think that's it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight."

We were twirling again, my feet on hers as she held me close. She still seemed tense.

"You're jealous." I stated with dawning realization.

A guilty look crossed her face, "I told you before, I'm not used to feeling that way. You should have heard what she was thinking about you."

"Oh?" My curiosity was peaked.

Edyth sighed, "she thought you looked absolutely wonderful, and that you're the sweetest, kindest, most perfect person she knows." Edyth smiled a little then, "She thinks I'm incredibly lucky to have you."

I couldn't help but smirk, "what do you think?"

She spun me around, holding me tightly, lowering her lips to my ear. "I think I'm the luckiest woman in the whole world."

I felt a shiver of excitement run through my body.

"She was completely accurate with one compliment she gave you." Edyth kissed my neck gently. "Your eyes are beautiful."

I felt myself blush as I pulled back to look at her smiling down at me.

"So are you going to ever explain the reason for all this?" I wondered casually, trying to keep my mind off how absolutely amazing she looked and how badly I wished we weren't surrounded by a gym full of people.

Her expression became confused, and I glanced meaningfully at the crepe paper.

She considered for a moment, and then changed direction, spinning me through the crowd to the back door of the gym. I caught a glimpse of Jeremy and Makayla dancing, staring at me curiously. Jeremy waved, and I smiled back. Allen was there, too, looking blissfully happy in the arms of little Becca Cheney; he didn't look up from her eyes, a head higher than his. Lee and Samantha, Eric with a boy named Justin, Lauren and Conner, and Logan, glaring at us; I could name every face that spiraled past me. And then we were outdoors, in the cool, dim light of a fading sunset.

As soon as we were alone, she swung me up into her arms, and carried me across the dark grounds till she reached the bench beneath the shadow of the madrone trees. She sat there, keeping me cradled against her strong chest. The moon was already up, visible through the gauzy clouds, and her face flowed pale in the white light. Her mouth was hard, her eyes troubled.

"The point?" I prompted softly.

She ignored me, staring up at the moon.

"Twilight, again," she murmured. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."

"Everything ends, eventually." I said wistfully.

She sighed.

"I brought you to the prom," she said slowly, finally answering my question, "because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take away anything from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died from the influenza like I should have."

I shuddered at her words, and then shook my head angrily. "In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? Even if I didn't have a broken leg, I would have been sitting in my bed with some ice cream and a book if you weren't here."

She smiled briefly, but it didn't touch her eyes. "It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself."

"No, but it helped that I was with you."

We were quiet for a moment; she stared at the moon and I stared at her.

"Will you tell me something?" she asked, glancing down at me with a slight smile.

"Don't I always?"

"Just promise you'll tell me," she insisted, grinning.

I knew I might regret this, "Fine."

"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here," she began.

"I was," I interjected.

"Exactly," she agreed. "But you must have had some other theory… I'm curious—what did you think I was dressing you up for?"

"I told you in the car," I rolled my eyes, "I have no idea with you." I ran my hand through her bronze hair, "You tend to go for extremes though. Maybe we were going to a movie, or a fancy dinner date."

"You didn't think…" She hesitated. "You didn't think I was going to… to change you." She practically spat out the words.

I stared at her, confused. "Is that normally a blue-dress occasion?" I teased, touching the front of her dress.

She scowled, and I kissed her cheek.

"If I had been planning..." she trailed off. "If that was what I was going to do, what would you have said?"

I thought about it for a moment, "I don't know. I don't think I could leave Charlie or my mom, or my friends. After everything that happened with James I realized how important they all are to me." I paused, "But I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit that a big part of me wants to say yes."

She sighed deeply. "Are you really that willing?"

There was pain in her eyes. I bit my lip.

"So ready for this to be the end," she murmured, almost to herself, "for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything."

"It wouldn't be the end, it would be a beginning," I disagreed softly.

"I'm not worth it," she said sadly.

"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?" I asked, raising my eyebrows. "You obviously have the same blindness."

"I know what I am."

I sighed.

But her mercurial mood shifted on me. She pursed her lips, and her eyes were probing. She examined my face for a long moment.

"Would you be ready now, then?" she asked.

"Um," I gulped. "Yes?"

She smiled, and inclined her head slowly until her cold lips brushed against my skin just under the corner of my jaw.

"Right now?" she whispered, her breath blowing cool on my neck. I shivered involuntarily.

"Yes," I breathed the words out. I couldn't even tell if I was bluffing anymore. I knew that one day this is what would happen. I'd already made that decision. In this moment, it seemed to be happening so quickly, but did that matter? My course was set, who knew how much time I had before I reached the conclusion Alice had seen in her vision. Perhaps this was it, perhaps now was the time and I was okay with that. I felt the shivers of electricity run through my body as her lips brushed against my neck. I felt my heartbeat rise in my chest.

She chuckled darkly, and leaned away. Her face looked amused.

"You can't really believe that I would give in so easily," she said with a gently mocking tone.

I could only manage a shrug and a slightly euphoric smile.

Her eyebrows rose. "Do you want to become a monster so badly?"

"Not at all," I frowned. "I just want you. Forever."

Her expression changed, softened.

"Bella" Her fingers lightly traced the shape of my lips. "I will stay with you—isn't that enough?"

I smiled under her fingertips. "Enough for now."

She frowned at my tenacity. No one was going to surrender tonight. She exhaled, and the sound was practically a growl.

I touched her face. "Look," I said. "I love you more than anything in this world. That's enough."

"Yes, it is enough," she answered, smiling. "Enough for forever."

And she leaned down to press her cold lips once more to my throat.


	50. epilogue an occasion Edyth pov

I carefully helped Bella into my car, being especially mindful of the cumbersome walking cast on her leg. I did my best to ignore the unhappy pout on her face.

Once I was sure she was settled, I got in the driver's seat and headed back out the long narrow drive away from my family's house.

"So are you ever going to tell me what's going on?" She asked, looking especially suspicious and wary.

"I'm shocked you haven't figured it out yet." I ginned at her, and her breath caught in her throat.

"I did mention that you looked very nice, didn't I?" She asked.

"Yes." I grinned again. Of course, I had Alice to thank. She had special ordered the blue dress from France and it was quite fine. She wouldn't let me go out in anything less on this evening.

But my outfit was nothing when compared to Bella's. Alice had chosen a custom dress in the exact shade of dark blue that I loved best on her. It was expertly tailored in all the right places, perfectly accentuating every line of her curvey body.

"I'm not coming over anymore if Alice is going to treat me like her own personal Barbie doll when I do," She griped. Glancing at her reflection in the passenger side mirror.

She looked wonderful, though. Alice had smoothed her red curls back on her head which helped to draw attention to the blue pools of her eyes.

I was distracted from my admiring by my phone ringing in my pocket. I pulled it out from the inside pocket of my jacket and glanced at the caller ID before answering.

"Hello, Charlie," I said warily.

"Charlie?" Bella frowned.

Charlie had been rather strict since Bella's return to Forks, and he had every right to be. He had been of two minds regarding the incident in Phoenix. Toward Carlisle he had been exceedingly grateful. However, he was quite convinced that I was entirely at fault for Bella's accident and since he was, of course, completely correct I would not argue. As a result, Bella now had to follow new rules such as curfews and pre-approved visiting hours.

"Hello, Edyth," Charlie's voice was gruff. "You mind explaining to me why Taylor Crowley is standing at my door in a dress expecting to take my girl out tonight?"

My eyes widened in disbelief, and then I couldn't suppress the grin spreading across my face.

"You're kidding!" I laughed.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"Why don't you let me talk to her?" I suggested to Charlie, thoroughly pleased by this turn of events. I waited for a few seconds.

"Uh, hello?" Taylor's confused voice came over the phone.

"Hello, Taylor, this is Edyth Cullen." I kept my voice very friendly, but Bella was looking at me with a confused and slightly exasperated expression. Then her eyes widened, and she looked down at her dress in horror.

"Oh, um, hey," Taylor's voice was still confused.

"I'm sorry if there's been some kind of miscommunication, but Bella is unavailable tonight." I couldn't help but become more protective as I continued. "To be perfectly honest, she'll be unavailable every night, as far as anyone beside myself is concerned. No offense. And I'm sorry about your evening." I hung up the phone and deposited it back in my pocket, unable to contain the smirk on my face.

I could see Bella's ivory face turn crimson out of the corner of my eye.

I looked at her in surprise. "Was that last part a bit too much? I didn't mean to offend you."

"You're taking me to the prom!" Her voice was filled with panic.

I was thrown by her reaction. I'd expected some protest, but not full-blown panic. Beyond that, I was puzzled as to how she didn't realize sooner. Surely it was obvious?

"I'm sorry, Bella, please don't be angry."

Her eyes flashed to the window. "Why are you doing this to me?" She demanded.

I gestured to our dresses. "Honestly, Bella, what did you think we were doing?"

"You never tend to do things casually, for all I knew we were getting milkshakes and you thought we should dress up." She glared back at me.

"Touché." I smirked.

"Oh god, this is awful." She sighed.

Now I was frustrated. "Why are you so upset?" I demanded.

"Because I didn't want to go to prom!"

"Bella." I turned my eyes to her.

"What?" She muttered.

"Humor me," I insisted.

My eyes held her gaze for a moment, and the crease between her brows slowly relaxed.

"Fine," she glared. "I'll go. But you'll see. I'm way overdue for some bad luck. I'll probably break my other leg! This fancy shoe doesn't have any traction! Look at it!" She held out her uninjured leg, as evidence I guessed.

"Hmmm." My eyes followed the line of her leg, up her torso, to her radiant face then back down. She looked incredible. "Remind me to thank Alice for dressing you up so nicely tonight. I am quite fond of that color on you."

"Alice is going to be there?" She seemed comforted by that.

"With Jasper, and Emmett… and Royal," I admitted.

Any progress I had made with calming her seemed to vanish. The crease reappeared between her brows and she looked troubled.

"Is Charlie in on this?" She asked, suspicion in her voice.

"Of course." I grinned, then chuckled. "Apparently Taylor wasn't, though."

She rolled her eyes.

We arrived at the school; Royal's ostentatious red BMW was practically an eyesore in the parking lot. The clouds were thin today, a few streaks of sunlight escaping through far away in the west.

I exited the car and walked to open her door. She set her jaw as I held out my hand for her.

At first, she stayed in place, with a resolute expression, and her arms folded stubbornly across her chest.

I sighed. "When someone wants to kill you, you're as brave as a lion—and then when someone mentions dancing…" I shook my head at the ludicrous nature of the situation.

She gulped comically. I suppose I hadn't mentioned dancing, yet.

"Bella, I won't let anything hurt you—not even yourself. I won't let go of you once, I promise."

She mulled this over for a short moment, and her face relaxed suddenly. She even seemed pleased with the prospect.

"There, now," I said gently, "it won't be so bad." I leaned down and wrapped one arm around her waist, she took my free hand and allowed me to lift her from the car.

I kept my arm tightly around her as we slowly made our way toward the school. She gripped onto me like I was the only thing keeping her upright.

The prom was being held in the school's gym. Fairly common for smaller schools such as this one. When we arrived inside, Bella let out an involuntary giggle as she appraised the humorously cliched decorations.

"This looks like a horror movie waiting to happen," she snickered.

"Well," I muttered as we slowly approached the ticket table, "There are more than enough vampires present."

Her eyes trailed off to the dance floor where my siblings were making quite the spectacle of themselves. All the students had pressed themselves back, leaving a wide gap in the center of the floor where Alice and Jasper were spinning around in wide circles.

Emmett stood nearby grinning widely at the students' dumbfounded reactions to Alice and Jasper. He caught our scent and waved when he spotted us. Royal stood next to him, reveling in his own beauty and the countless looks of admiration but otherwise feeling rather bored by the whole ordeal.

"Do you think if I threw myself into the sound system it would end the prom?" Bella whispered.

I laughed, though I wasn't entirely sure she was joking, "Anything to get out of dancing."

"Anything."

I bought our tickets, then turned her toward the dance floor. She visibly cringed against my arm and dragged her feet. Like a hangman being walked to the gallows.

"I've got all night," I smiled.

"Okay, can I be honest a second?" She sighed, "I'm a terrible dancer, sure—I'm clumsy as hell—but… I've never danced with a girl." Her pulse quickened minutely. "And this is Forks, after all. Maybe I can be affectionate with you at school when no one is looking… but dancing at prom? In front of everyone?"

I hadn't expected that reasoning to be behind her reluctance, "Is that what you've been worried about?"

"A bit, yes." she admitted.

I considered this for a moment. It was a valid fear, and I couldn't be upset at her for it. Certainly we were a rather unorthodox coupling—for many reasons—and Bella didn't enjoy being the center of attention. She preferred a low-profile.

"We don't have to dance if you don't want to." I conceded.

She sighed and looked over my shoulder back at the dance floor. I watched her apprehensive face trying to think of how I could possibly improve the evening for her.

Oh my god!

So it's totally true!

Whoa, no way…

Oh, that's so hot…

The rush of surprised thoughts and hushed voices from the dance floor made me spin around. There, in the middle of the dance floor right alongside Alice and Jasper were Royal and Emmett, dancing together. I was rather surprised myself. Royal was exceedingly vain, but he was surprisingly discreet when it came to being affectionate with Emmett in public. Given Royal's history, it never surprised me much.

She's sweet,Royal was thinking, Too sweet. I hate that, but I don't want her feeling… Ugh, forget it. Just dance with her already before I get even more annoyed than I already am.

Royal locked eyes with Bella from the dance ? You've got no excuse now.

I smirked as I watched this uniquely Royal peace offering unfold. I turned back to Bella, "That's Royal's way of saying he's glad you're here."

"Oh, fine."Bella huffed. She let me lead her out to join my siblings on the dance floor. She watched them spin by in terror.

"Edyth." Her voice was a dry, barely audible whisper. "I honestly can't dance." Her heart was racing now.

"Don't worry, love," I whispered back. "I can." I put her arms around my neck and lifted her to slide my feet under hers.

Edythe! Not the Aubercy Made-to-Order shoes! They'll scuff!Alice mentally scolded me.

I ignored her as I whirled Bella into the dance. I grinned down at her as she slowly began to smile, then laugh as we waltzed.

"I bet I look like a fool," She said between laughter.

"Quite the opposite," I murmured, pulling her closer to me.

Look at that! You made the kid was more clumsy Emmett thoroughly he was amused by the sight.

She's radiating happiness, Jasper was thinking.

Alice caught Bella's eye and smiled in encouragement—she smiled back. I was pleased to see that she seemed to be enjoying herself.

"Okay, this isn't half bad." She admitted.

Damn, this is gonna be so bad… Wow, Bella looks great. But I can't believe Billy is making me do this.

I recognized the mind I was hearing over by the doors. Julie Black. daughter of Billy Black, who apparently had a message for Bella that he had forced his poor, hapless daughter to deliver with some sort of contrived bribe.

My eyes shot to the door as I glared at the girl who was reluctantly skulking into the gym. I was having a hard time controlling my anger. Billy Black should know this was crossing a line.

"What is it?" Bella asked, following the line of my gaze toward the doors. At first she seemed genuinely surprised to see the Black girl, then she looked sympathetically at the clearly uncomfortable expression on her face She wore her white button up shirt as she crossed the floor toward us.

Man, this sucks. I feel so bad. I've been wanting to talk to Bella again but not like this...The girl was at least was ashamed of her message. She locked eyes with Bella, Bella looks so hot…

A quiet snarl escaped my lips.

"Behave!" Bella hissed.

"She wants to chat with you."I found I wasn't able to control the scathing tone of my voice.

The girl had reached us then. Her slouching posture and her embarrassed, apologetic posture were at least some comfort.

Alright, here goes."Hey, Bella, I was hoping you would be here." Her voice conveyed the exact opposite, but her smile for Bella was overly friendly in my opinion.

"Hi, Jules." Bella smiled back. I felt a twinge of jealousy. Bella seemed pleased to see the girl. "What's up?"

"Can I cut in?" she asked tentatively, glancing at me for the first time. I noted that she was taller than the last time I'd seen her at Bella's house. She was eye level with me now.

I managed to keep my expression composed, blank even—solely for Bella's benefit. She considered this girl a friend, so I should be courteous. I didn't trust my words to remain as kind, so instead of answering I simply released my hold on Bella and took a step back.

"Thanks," Julie said.

I nodded, looking at Bella before reluctantly turning to walk away.

I leaned against the back wall of the gym and crossed my arms. I was already angry with this girl for her message, but then she made me break my promise to not let go of Bella all evening! I watched them intently.

I had to take a deep breath to calm myself when Julie put her hands on Bella's waist and another when Bella put her hands on the Girl's shoulders and they began dancing.

It wasn't really dancing, per se, it was more swaying in place.

"Wow, Jules, how tall are you now?" Bella asked.

"Six-two." She said with an air of childish pride.

"So, how did you end up here tonight?" Bella asked, genuine curiosity in her voice.

"Can you believe my dad paid me twenty bucks to crash your prom?" The girl admitted.

"Yes, I can," Bella muttered. "Well, I hope you're enjoying yourself, at least. Seen anything you like?" She teased, nodding toward a group of students lined up against the opposite wall.

"Yeah, Julie sighed. "But she's taken."Oh, man… I can't believe I said that out loud.

They locked eyes for a minute, then looked away in embarrassment.

This child was quickly supplanting Makayla Newton as my least favorite of Bella's human friends.

I'm just going to go for it…"You look really beautiful, by the way," the girl added shyly. "Your eyes are really beautiful."

"Um, thanks." Bella blushed. "You're not looking too bad yourself."

I missed the rest of what Bella said, I felt such a strong surge of jealousy I saw red for a brief moment. When I could focus again they were laughing in a friendly way.

"So, why did Billy pay you to come here?" Bella was asking softly.

The girl was uncomfortable now. She didn't want to say it. I didn't want her to say it, either.

Man, I hate this…"He said it was a 'safe' place to talk to you. I swear the old man is losing his mind."

Julie laughed, Bella joined in weakly.

"Anyway, he said that if I told you something he would get me that master cylinder I need," the girl confessed with an embarrassed grin.

"Tell me, then. I want you to get your car finished so maybe you can come visit me once in a while." Bella grinned back. I felt a new surge of jealousy course through my body. Bella's eyes glanced over to me, but I kept my expression passive. Even then, I saw something in her eyes when she caught my gaze. I was obviously unable to hide my emotions from her like I used to be able to.

When Bella returned her eyes to the girl, Julie turned her head away, ashamed. "Don't get mad, okay?"

"I could never be mad at you, Jules," Bella assured her. "I won't even be mad at Billy. Just say what you have to."

"Well—"God, okay, here we go."This is so stupid, I'm sorry, Bella—he wants you to break up with your girlfriend. He asked me to tell you 'please.'" She shook her head in disgust which I suppose was a small comfort. I was still furious, though.

"He's still superstitious, eh?"

I couldn't believe Billy Black was so brazen as to openly interfere like this.

"Yeah. He was… kind of over the top when you got hurt down in Phoenix. He didn't believe…" Julie trailed off self-consciously.

"I fell." Bella insisted.

"I know that," Julie said quickly.

"He thinks Edyth had something to do with me getting hurt." Bella wasn't asking, she was stating. Her voice was tinged with frustration.

Julie wouldn't look Bella in the eyes. They weren't swaying to the music anymore, just standing in place in the middle of the dance floor. I couldn't understand why the girl didn't take her hands off Bella's waist, or why Bella didn't untwine her arms from around the girl's neck.

"Look, Julie, I know Billy won't believe this, but just so you know Edyth really did save my life. If it weren't for Edyth and her father, I'd be dead."

Julie returned her eyes to Bella as she was speaking, responding to the earnestness in her voice. "I know," the way she talks about that Cullen girl… Bella's really serious about her. Damn.

"Hey, I'm sorry you had to come do this, Julie," Bella apologized. "At any rate, you get your parts, right?"

"Yeah," she muttered. Clearly withholding some key part of the message.I don't want to say this, I really don't want to say this.

"There's more?" Bella deduced.

"Forget it," she mumbled, "I'll get a job and save the money myself."

"Nope! Just spit it out! You're getting that damn cylinder thing."

"It's so bad." In the Girl's defense, from what I could read in her thoughts, it really was.

"I don't care." Bella insisted, "Tell me."

"Okay… but, geez, this sounds bad." Julie shook her head. "He said to tell you, no, to warn you, that—and this is his plural, not mine—" she lifted one hand from Bella's waist and made little quotation marks in the air—"'We'll be watching.'" She watched warily for Bella's reaction.

Bella stared blankly at her for a moment, then burst out laughing. "Okay, duly noted," she snickered, "now tell Billy to pay up."

"I will," Julie managed half a smile.

"Sorry you had to do this, Julie," Bella smiled with an easy familiarity.

"I don't mind that much." Julie grinned, "I got to see you." Her eyes raked appraisingly over Bella's dress and face. A litany of thoughts paraded through her mind, then she forced herself to focus. "So, should I tell Billy you said to butt the hell out?" she asked hopefully.

"No," Bella sighed. "Tell him I said thanks. I know he means well."

The song ended, but they stayed standing where they were. I took this as my cue to make my presence known again.

"And thank you, Julie" Bella said, "I know you wouldn't have agreed to come down unless you cared about me."

Julie's hands stayed hesitantly at Bella's waist , Bella is so great. She's just so nice to me, even though she doesn't need to be. She's really sweet…. I mean, she's better than anyone I know… and she looks so damn hot tonight… She's literally perfect. That Cullen girl is one lucky girl she glanced down at her leg in the walking cast. "Do you want to dance again? Or I can help you get somewhere?"

I was already standing just behind Julie. "That's all right, Julie. I'll take it from here."

The girl flinched and stared wide-eyed at me, she's so quiet…

"Hey, I didn't see you there," she mumbled. "I guess I'll see you around, Bella." She finally dropped her hands from Bella's waist and stepped back, waving halfheartedly.

But Bella smiled and caught her hand, pulling her back into a quick hug, "I'll see you later, Julie."

It was simply a friendly gesture, I reminded myself. Bella was a kind person, she hugged most of her friends. I shouldn't get jealous. I wouldn't get jealous… I was losing the argument with myself because, despite my efforts, I was.

Julie stepped back and glanced between Bella's face and mine. "Sorry," she said again before she turned for the door. Her thoughts were almost entirely preoccupied with Bella, much to my chagrin.

I wound my arms back around Bella as the next song started. I ignored the songs quicker tempo and kept us at a slow, even pace. Bella leaned her head against my chest.

"Feeling better?" She teased.

"Not really," I said, a little too tersely.

"Temper," she warned, "Don't be mad at Billy," she sighed. "He just worries about me for Charlie's sake. It's nothing personal."

"I'm not mad at Billy," I corrected, my voice still clipped. "But his daughter is irritating me."

Bella pulled back to look at me.

"Julie? Why?"

"First of all, she made me break my promise."

She stared at me in confusion.

I half-smiled. "I promised I wouldn't let go of you tonight," I explained.

"Oh. Well, I forgive you."

"Thanks. But there's something else." I frowned.

Bella waited patiently.

"She called you beautiful" I finally admitted, my frown deepening. She stared at me, once again confused, I realized how childish and jealous I sounded, so I quickly added, "That's practically an insult, the way you like right now, you're much more than stunning."

Bella laughed. "You might be a little biased."

"I don't think that's it. Besides, I have excellent eyesight."

I tried to distract her by moving us into the dance along with everyone else, but I was still tense.

"You're jealous." Bella stated with dawning realization.

Her perceptiveness once again cut through my pretenses. "I told you before," I said, feeling guilty, "I'm not used to feeling that way. You should have heard what she was thinking about you."

"Oh?"

I sighed, regretting that I mentioned it. "She thought you looked absolutely beautiful, and that you're the sweetest, kindest, most perfect person she knows." I couldn't disagree with Julie Black's assessment. I smiled a little then, "She thinks I'm incredibly lucky to have you."

Bella smirked, "what do you think?"

I spun her around, holding her tightly, lowering my lips to her ear. "I think I'm the luckiest woman in the whole world."

Bella's body shivered in my arms, but she wasn't cold—it was a shiver of excitement.

"She was completely accurate with one compliment she gave you." I kissed her neck gently. "Your eyes are beautiful."

Bella blushed crimson as she pulled back to look at me, I smiled.

"So are you going to ever explain the reason for all this?" She inquired casually.

I was confused by the question, so she cast a meaningful glance at the decorations around us.

Ah. I considered how best to explain it to her. I didn't want to take away from the evening in any way, but it certainly wasn't a conversation to have in the middle of the school gym. I changed direction, spinning her through the crowd toward the back door of the gym. As we moved, she kept catching the eyes of her friends; Jeremy Stanley, dancing with that wretched Makayla Newton. he waved at Bella and she smiled back. We passed Allen Weber and I was pleased to see him dancing happily in the arms of Becca Cheney, eyes locked on one another. All her other friends in their various groups and couplings, living their simple and thoroughly human lives. Lives I wished Bella could have. Lives that didn't involve treaties and vampires.

Once we were alone outside in the cool, dim light of the fading sunset I swung her up into my arms and carried her across the dark grounds till we reached the lone bench that sat under the shadow of the madrone trees. I sat there, keeping her against my chest. The moon was already up, visible through the gossamer clouds. I watched it, troubled by my thoughts.

"The point?" She prompted softly.

I couldn't answer her yet, my eyes stayed on the cold moon.

"Twilight, again," I murmured. "Another ending. No matter how perfect the day is, it always has to end."

"Everything ends, eventually." She said wistfully.

I sighed. Everything. Except my kind.

"I brought you to the prom," I said slowly, gathering my thoughts, "because I don't want you to miss anything. I don't want my presence to take away anything from you, if I can help it. I want you to be human. I want your life to continue as it would have if I'd died from the influenza like I should have."

Bella shuddered at my words, and then shook her head angrily. "In what strange parallel dimension would I ever have gone to prom of my own free will? Even if I didn't have a broken leg, I would have been sitting in my bed with some ice cream and a book if you weren't here."

I tried to smile. "It wasn't so bad, you said so yourself."

"No, but it helped that I was with you."

We were quiet for a moment; I stared at the moon and Bella stared at me.

"Will you tell me something?" I asked, glancing down at her with as much of a smile as I could manage.

"Don't I always?"

"Just promise you'll tell me," I insisted, grinning.

She seemed hesitant, but she answered, "Fine."

"You seemed honestly surprised when you figured out that I was taking you here," I began.

"I was," she interjected.

"Exactly," I agreed. "But you must have had some other theory… I'm curious—what did you think I was dressing you up for?"

I already knew the answer, I prepared myself to hear her speak it out loud.

"I told you in the car," she rolled her eyes, "I have no idea with you." She ran her hand through my hair, "You tend to go for extremes though. Maybe we were going to a movie, or a fancy dinner date."

I wasn't expecting that. I was thrown by her answer. "You didn't think…" I hesitated, not wanting to put the idea in her head if it wasn't already there. "You didn't think I was going to… to change you." I practically had to spit the words out.

She stared at me for a moment, confused. "Is that normally a blue dress occasion?" She asked teasingly, touching the lapel of my dress.

I didn't understand her light-heartedness in the situation and scowled, she kissed my cheek in response. Her kiss did help to ease my frustration, some.

"If I had been planning…" I trailed off, detesting the very idea, unable to speak the words again. "If that was what I was going to do, what would you have said?"

She thought about it for a moment, "I don't know. I don't think I could leave Charlie or my mom, or my friends. After everything that happened with James I realized how important they all are to me." She paused, "But I would be lying to myself if I didn't admit that a big part of me wants to say yes."

I was afraid of that. I sighed deeply. "Are you really that willing?"

She seemed to see the pain in my eyes and was unwilling to answer. She bit her lip in lieu of a proper answer.

As enticingly distracting as that was, I couldn't ignore the implications. She was willing. "So ready for this to be the end," I murmured, more to myself than her, "for this to be the twilight of your life, though your life has barely started. You're ready to give up everything."

"It wouldn't be the end, it would be a beginning," she disagreed softly.

"I'm not worth it," I said sadly. I made no qualms about my own unworthiness, only that she would be so willing to give up something so precious for me.

"Do you remember when you told me that I didn't see myself very clearly?" She asked, raising her eyebrows. "You obviously have the same blindness."

"I know what I am." A monster, an abomination.

Bella sighed.

I didn't want to argue with her. Not tonight. I wanted this night to be special. I wanted tonight to be perfect for her. I decided to shift the mood of the situation. I examined her face carefully for a long moment.

"Would you be ready now, then?" I asked.

"Um," She gulped, her pulse quickened. "Yes?"

I smiled and inclined my head slowly until my lips brushed against her warm, soft skin just under the corner of her jaw.

"Right now?" I whispered, breathing gently on her neck. She shivered involuntarily as her heart thudded and her pulse quickened further.

"Yes," she breathed the words out. A release of control and inhibitions. She wasn't just answering my question, she was inviting me—asking me to continue, asking for more. Was she saying yes to me changing her right here and now? Or simply saying yes to my touch? I couldn't be sure. I didn't have Alice's gift; I didn't know what the future held. Bella seemed so sure of the course she was on and the decisions she was making. But I believed there was another way. The future wasn't set in stone; the tiniest decision could change our course and send us in a whole different direction. I wouldn't let Alice's visions dictate that course in any way, I would make my own future—we would make our own future.

I felt that strange electric charge surge from her body and into mine as I brushed my lips against her neck. That burning heat I felt every time I touched her, that burning heat that I craved more and more each day, with each passing second. Her head was tilted back, and her eyes were closed. Her heart was pounding against her chest now. Her heart beating was the most perfect and beautiful sound in the world—I would never grow tired of that sound.

I chuckled darkly and leaned away. Amused by her willing and inviting expression.

"You can't really believe that I would give in so easily," I teased her gently.

She smiled euphorically and shrugged.

"Do you want to become a monster so badly?" I asked with raised eyebrows.

"Not at all," she frowned. "I just want you. Forever."

Her words melted away any sadness or frustration I might have felt before. They filled me with a strange warmth from the inside—it wasn't a true warmth, of course, more of a feeling.

"Bella." I traced the shape of her velvet lips with my fingers. "I will stay with you—isn't that enough?"

She smiled under my fingertips. "Enough for now."

I frowned at that, her tenacity and stubbornness could be… frustrating. I exhaled, the sound coming out in a growl.

She touched my face. "Look," she said. "I love you more than anything in this world. That's enough."

"Yes, it is," I answered, smiling. "Enough for forever."

And I leaned down to press my lips once more to her warm throat.

 **ok guys thanks for reading new moon should be up tomorrow or the next day.**


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